good to see you. in here, last september or something. >> that's right. >> stephen: you have written and released a book called "born a crime." >> i did, indeed. >> stephen: all right, i'm angry that you have time to do that. ( laughter ) or the energy, really. because i just go home at night and they put me in amniotic fluid so i'm ready for the show the next night. where you find the strength, i don't know. >> the thing is, you have an hour show, and i have a half hour, so. so with the other half hour i do things. you also have a family. i'm alone. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's true. that's true. yeah. but you travel all over the world. you've got to be exhausted on a certain level. >> you know what, i find i get my energy from doing the things that i love. it's actually something i learned from you. i don't know if you remember saying this. you said, when creating the show, stephen colbert said-- like he's not here-- he said, "the joy of the show is not oftentimes in performing it. th

go, <i>you are here.your homeohl's and get kohl's cash for you! get the perfect dorm room chair and get $10 kohl's cash! get a food network cookware set and get $30 kohl's cash! or a dyson vacuum and you'll get $80 kohl's cash! ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. folks, my first guest tonight is an oscar-win d and now a broadway star. please welcome michael moore! ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> man! >> stephen: nice to see you again. >> yes, thank you. >> stephen: welcome to the neighborhood. our theater is on broadway here, and now you're opening on broadway. how do you like working on the great white way? >> actually, my production office, we're also making another film right now, is right across the street from you. >> stephen: on broadway. >> right here. literally, we're like five floors-- i can actually-- every day we look down into your office. >> stephen: my office? >> and your writer s. >> stephen: i've got to get >> no, you're fine. you're fi

bit of a reckless you know i go through phases where you don't seem like close but like i like to i work in think can go on walks and i'm usually tied up with something and pacing around you know just walking around my place thinking smoking a cigar. because pace around i got another serious note what do you think of cosby i think he's a guy that a fantastic thing you know it's a situation where everybody loses you know i mean like you know he doesn't loses and you know the things that he's accused of a terrible in terrible end and you know real women who are victims who you feel your heart goes out to them because it's such a horrible thing to get over and then he was important in your life and lives absolutely you know i mean you know and i mean we you grow up you watch the show and you feel connected to it especially as a black family you get so excited seeing that you know and seem to trade in what seems to be an honest way and it's funny and smart and you know and then you open up the washington post and you like how many women i know my long time it's sad. but you are not man you'r

hear you know what i mean i love you know. rappers like kendrick lamar who's attempting to so put consciousness in the music. i love some of the music kanye does i think he really attempts to to be provocative the chance the rapper if it's good to sell my son's name it's chance to see him in chance one of the greatest things ever happen to me derek jeter came over to be and said there are a lot of phony legends you are a true legend stay with me for a while you are a true legend thank you that's going to stay with me for what is the title mean to you about it means you're old. it means. you've stood the test of time. you know to me that's what it means you stood the test of time you know people have their peak moments and need the you the fall off the peak all the way down a mountain or you have or near the top is being labeled a legend or an icon put more pressure on you. know we expect more from you know you know i mean i always expect you know more myself than didn't anybody to expect me the way i feel but it really you know

i said, do you want me to do it? and he said, yes, i do want you to do it. i blasted what might have been an 80-year-old woman in the face with a healthy serving of fake movie blood. >> stephen: as an actress, how did she feel about it? >> she felt good. she was a trooper, and the scene is fantastic. so, yeah, that's show business. ( laughter ) >> stephen: see what you're missing, donald trump, jr.? >> exactly, you could have these interactions with me. ( laughter ) >> stephen: please come back. >> i would love to. >> stephen: it's so fun having you. >> i love being here so much. congratulations on your success. >> stephen: our friend seth rogen, his show "preacher" returns on a.m.c. sunday. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) lilly. she pretty much lives in her favorite princess dress. but once a week i let her play sheriff so i can wash it. i use tide to get out those week old stains and downy to get it fresh and soft. you are free to go. tide and downy together. the fordme sumr sales event is on. i'll jump out

do you mind if i do that? y big plans for the weekend? james, can i get some thank you note writing music? [ laughter ] this -- i appreciate it. ♪ thank you, that's -- oh, beautiful. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: it's just perfect. >> steve: he's so sly. he's a sly little dog. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, trumpcare, for being like the art of the deal. it's got trumps name on it, but i'm pretty sure he's never actually read it. [ laughter and applause ] "why would i read it, when i lived it." [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, playing frisbee, for giving me the chance to yell "sorry" every 30 seconds. [ laughter and applause ] sorry. that one curved that way, sorry. ♪ thank you, justin trudeau, for being on the cover of delta's in-flight magazine. and for sitting like every guy in a coach middle seat. there you go. [ laughter and applause ] "hey, where you from? want to have a tuna sandwich?" [ light laughter ] can't eat a tuna sandwich on a a plane. ♪ thank you, wine bottle opener, for looking like e.t.'s skeleton. [ laughter

and every letter i write you i tell you i love you.ere's not one letter you wrote me telling me you love me. not one. don't try to make it seem like i told a little girl i love her and -- >> that's the thing. you told her, period. >> i'm saying what do a child got to do with it? >> that ain't your child. >> it don't matter. >> you weren't there for me when i was 6 and 7. >> i was there. you were out when you were 7. you called another man daddy. so i'm saying who's supposed to be getting mad? >> who was with my mama when you went to penitentiary? who was with my mama when you went to penitentiary? >> look, i only did this interview because they said you want to do it. i'm saying for real, bro, we ain't got to go through this. >> i ain't give a [ bleep ] about this interview. >> he's trying to make it seem like it's just his -- >> brian sr., he's angry. >> he's supposed to be. i mean, i get frustrated when i think about it because i already know that the majority of the situation gosomething to do with me not being there. it's hard know

i know you! i love you so much! i love your music! i was, like, who do you think i am? beautiful rapper and i said, no, thank you for the compliment, she's beautiful. two minutes later, this person comes up to me and says, yo! i love you so much! and the cashier didn't hear the beginning part. she said, i love you so much, i love your show, can i take a picture with you? and the cashier saw me taking the picture and said, pitch, did you lie to me? i said, no, i'm a different person. i'm sorry. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i get a lot of, i love you, steve carell. i'm, like, i'm not him. now, this is based on your own life, this series? >> it's partially based off of experiences and a lot of my friends. i honestly just wanted to create something i felt like was relatable and was something kind of for us baned us. >> stephen: we have a clip here. can you tell me what's happening in this one? >> so we opened the season with my character who is also known issa. going and adventuring into the dating world and feeling like it gets a bit redundant after a while. >> stephen: okay.

i> aah! are you all right? (inhales deeply) (strained voice) > ay, i told you to help me! so sorry! i twisted my ankle. okay. sit down right here. i don't have time for this. no, you--you can't walk around on that all day. no, i'm good. i'm good. (inhales sharply) no. i will use... (exhales) (thump) oh. the baby carrier as a... as a cane. okay? o-okay. (grunts) (camera shutter clicking) now hold that. hold that. good, good, good. now smolder. smolder. perfect. perfect. (door opens) let me guess-- you couldn't remember if i said "boa" or "baby," so you brought both. (groans) gloria hurt herself, and it was kinda my fault, so i offered to watch joe. oh. can i take a break? i wanna be alone. okay, where was that attitude when we were doing greta garbo? okay, fine. take five. (singsongy) hi, baby joe. (southern accent) why don't you just sit a spell? we're just makin' pictures. why are you being all missouri? i don't know. i guess i'm excited to go back to the farm. is it that obvious? you said "dagburn" at breakfast. have you booked our tickets yet? you know, i-i'm sure if i

think you can see, i'm quite flexible. i'll be honest, phil, i like you. nice form, son! i'm talking about that contract, of course. (laughs) you still got it, dad. that's my dad. hi. (trampoline squeaking) ♪ ♪ happiness is powerful flea and tick protection from nexgard. nexgard kills fleas and ticks all month long. and it comes in an easy-to-give tasty chew. and that makes dogs and owners happy. no wonder vets love it too. reported side effects include vomiting, itching, diarrhea, lethargy and lack of appetite. see your vet for more information on flea and tick protection you and your dog will love. nexgard. the vet's #1 choice. coming up on today's telecast: >> can i make the devil mad? amen! she said yes! watch ou! >> hallelujah! >> and you've been in pain ever since? >> that's right! >> look at that! there he goes! in the name of jesus christ of nazareth! now she's running for jesus! god has used reverend peter

i love you. i was -- have you ever done -- do you have to do karaoke? have you ever done? s people do a lot of karaoke singing and i just -- i've never been there. >> jimmy: i think you'd be great at it. >> yeah! [ laughter ] if you can get in my key. >> jimmy: i do you at -- well i mean it's not -- karaoke. [ laughter ] >> right. >> jimmy: thanks. but i go to karaoke -- >> what do you sing? like -- >> jimmy: "weekend in new england." >> do you really? ♪ go ahead. ♪ when will our eyes meet when will i touch you ♪ >> jimmy: i'm freaking out right now. ♪ when will this moment end ♪ ♪ ♪ and when will i hold you again ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: not bad? heart and soul. >> so much better. >> jimmy: i was dating my now wife. she was my girlfriend at the time. i was meeting her brother and his wife and we went out to karaoke. and i got a private room. it was a glass table, we had some beers on it and sake. and that was my song and i thought it would be funny if i stood up and i was -- ♪ when will i you know, and do the thing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i knocked the glass t

you know? and ie learned to value that greatly in our relationship and we've come to understand that that -- that is the biggest aspect of our togetherness is how we grow together. you know, we always say, i don't know if anybody else was here that i would grow the way that i grow with you. the way you force me to look at things and the way i have to expand and the capacity in which i have to grow to in order to have all the things that you're talking about. one of the great things about being put in a position like that, in order to survive and to be happy in that survival is you do have to grow spiritually. you have to. if you don't, it will kill you, literally. so as a family, you know, a lot of times we look at the negative aspects of being in this industry and all that comes with it. you know, but it is those very things that help break certain ideas that keep us small. you know? and i'm very grateful for that. >> right. >> yeah. >> this is getting good now. what's fascinating to me about this i

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you know, i like you! i like you too! er, we treat you like you'd treat you. get the it card and talk to a real person. ♪ the ford summer sales event is on. it's gonna work, i promise you, we can figure this out. babe... little help. -hold on, mom. no, wifi. wifi. it's not a question, it's a thing. take on summer right with ford, america's best-selling brand. now with summer's hottest offer. get zero percent for seventy-two months plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. during the ford summer sales event get zero percent for seventy-two months plus an additional thousand on top of your trade-in. offer ends july 5th. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, everybody, welcome back! say hi to jon basteeft and stay human right over there. i gotea tell you, i don't need the fourth of july. these guys give us fireworks every night. >> jon: you gotta burn it

i said do you think i could go with you? he said no. i sit at i write a letter would you give it to the president? he said, i guess i could do that. so i wrote a letter and went back to my dorm, wrote a letter telling him how i thought, most of it was positive. gave it to the president of the university. he carried the letter to washington. at the end of my letter i wrote ps if you want to do discuss this further let me know. a couple weeks later i get a letter back from the white house from the president, and he invited me to the oval office to have a chat with him. i called home and my mother answered the phone and i said mom, i'm going to need an airline ticket. the president of the trade would like to have a meeting with me in the oval office. my mother shouting honey, pick up the phone, there something wrong with our kid. i get fly down at a did get to see, i did get to meet president nixon. they gave me five minutes. i spent 20, and that was just an unbelievable thing to happen in my life and give me an opportunity. i don't think m

her but i want to thank you i think it makes you act you see penalising with any man. the. that's what the bank got to do the abuse and. i have. one today in nearby benjamin who i did a quick look at a bad. one when i. call for an outfit on spewing. i know. i come. but then they come up. beneath. i don't for a what we think about i'm a but now i'm up a little while i'm in the book. i was in the senate is that typical of. the well to mock i am one of a democrat. who now mungo. me but not to cut it up look at the be walk. around and. look at me and if you want me well listen why did he come. up with the guy baghdad will get it can you tell. one of us it looks. so fun of course. coming up with a white man. why you. never seen the. show don't know what do you. think you know. the full must. see the play but. still find it funny. even. assuming there were no police to similar was similar to me but the truth and dandolo know what that's. like. and then want to force you to find. a little muscle my workbook ok i will know if people will put up with the local news. and i. want you.

if i would have did it different, i know you wouldn't be here and i wouldn't be here, you know what i mean? it's kind of hard to see what was here, you know what i mean? almost on the same charges and everything. if i could, i would change everything. you know what i mean? it is kind of weird talking to you now, because we haven't really sat down to talk in, what, since you were, what, 11, was i think the last time? it's been like 20-some years. that's kind of -- kind of weird, you know. but it feels good talking to you. you know what i mean? >> yeah. never too late. >> yeah. never too late. >> what are your thoughts? >> i know it is hard for him to even talk to me about it. trying to put myself in his position. i don't have kids. i understand the stuff he went through with the drugs. because i went through the same thing. i think a lot of the times he thinks that i don't like him. it ain't like that. >> what are your hopes? do you have any hopes as far as your relationship with your father? >> just to get to know him and let the past go. before i didn't like him but i didn't know him

you think about civicness. i from playing, you know, little notes, saying, why should that matter when all of these things are going on? i have to prove it to myself, let alone to the rest of society, that something is worthwhile, that my humanity or my playing three notes on the cello means something. david: so, i want to thank you for what you have done for the country and thank you for what you have done for the world, and in bringing people to know much more about the music we are hearing you perform. and i want to thank you for the kennedy center involvement. you have been an advisor to the kennedy center. you have been very helpful in many other ways. yo-yo: thank you. are you ready for your cello lesson? david: i am. ♪ yo-yo: that's it. david: wow. great. yo-yo: you did it. david: i'm ready. thank you very much. >> bravo. david: thank you very much. ♪ . . ♪ stephen: welcome to the industrial northeast of china. the theme of the annual meeting this year is inclusive growth in the fourth industrial revolutio

oh, you know what? i got to do it here in new york for the robin hood foundation. >> jimmy: and i -- it was like, unbelievable. everyone that saw it and heard it said it was just amazing. i go, oh, no. last time miley was here she did a cover of bob dylan and she crushed that one as well. >> thank you so much. we did "baby i'm in the mood" with the roots, which was like the biggest honor ever. [ cheers and applause ] i loved it. >> jimmy: well, i thought it would be kind of fun if we sang your two songs together, you and i. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: yeah, would that be fun? [ cheers and applause ] and here's -- here's the catch. to shake things up, we fed these songs into google translate. and we're going to perform the jumbled lyrics right now. it's time for "google translate songs." here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, if you've ever used google translate, you know that it's not always perfect. for example, when translated to croatian and back "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon" beco

and you know, it bugged me. and ieth: right. >> and now i'm off the trump train. >> seth: so you play schumer's brother. goldie hawn is your mom in this. >> yes, yes. >> seth: your pronunciation of mama -- >> yes -- >> seth: in the film. >> in the film, i'm playing like a -- he's a big baby. >> seth: yeah. >> he's agoraphobic. he doesn't want to leave his house. so i kind of just started naturally saying to goldie, i was like, "mama, mama, mama can i have some more toast, please?" and then i watched the movie with my wife and she's like, "that's what our daughter calls me." that's how she literally -- my daughter days mama. like she's in "madeline." >> seth: yeah. >> like, mama. [ light laughter ] and my wife says, "you just stole that from our daughter." she asked if i was going to cut her in on a piece of the movie. and i'm not going to. >> seth: i love it. [ light laughter ] >> you know what i'm going to do? i'm going to take the money i get from the movie and i'm going to buy you food and shelter and education. [

wish i knew you i wish i knew you ♪ ♪ oh i wish i knew you whenor and one time presidential nominee mccain msnbc diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor. the latest on his condition and reaction from the president. plus, a rising tide of anti-gay hate in putin's russia. reports of brutal attacks, vigilanty violence. now in the southern republic of chechnya. citizens forced into hiding. fleeing an alleged government campaign of brutality. the

done put you through whatever ♪ ♪ i know that you care for me i know what you spared for me iacting like another man wouldn't choose her ♪ ♪ you know she the only true girl ooh girl ♪ ♪ i can't even lie yeah you got me falling even when i try and the game keep calling ♪ ♪ why we in the club why i'm always balling tryna' be in love we don't fall too often ♪ ♪ it's hard to fall but you got me falling even when i try and the -- keep calling ♪ ♪ why we in the club why i'm always balling tryna' be in love we don't fall too often ♪ ♪ it's hard to fall but still but still i don't want nobody else ♪ ♪ but you i don't want nobody else but you ooh ah ah ♪ ♪ nobody else but you ooh ah ah >> break it down. now kimmel audience, i'd like you to make some noise for my band that played so beautifully. [ cheers and applause ] "tremaine the album" is available everywhere right now. make some noise for yourselves. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i don't want nobody else but you i don't want nobody else but you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you all so much. now at havertys furniture, spe

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