it curled up, and he just reaches his happened out. >> idiot, idiot, idiot -- >> don't close your eyes. >> that was so stupid. >> the newest menu item causing a commotion. >> u yo know what i have to say? and your chance to win an ipad apparently, people think i'm too perky. so now i'm not being perky, telling you that drivers that switch to progressive save an average of $548! whoo! >>> you know the rest, where are my dogs at? >> so fresh, so clean, so fresh and so clean. burger king is doing it's thing. deejay, grill that. king hot dog. >> this one is good, i like it. >> mine is gone. >> so you can get hotdogs at burger king. feel free to order them. >> up with of the coolest friends ever. they all just play together. they are all friends. and a baby relevant -- >> i feel like i could watch this all afternoon. >> how many chapters of a kids book can you write from this one video. >> yeah, he picked up the stick -- >> it is so fun to see the >> i love when you mix animals and they get along. >> now this is captured a the game reserve in south africa. the impala is trying to stand up o

your show, "idiot test" doing really well. you have this video on line called the stud contestants are asked to touch the stud. where is the stud? >> it's not a stud. >> he poked the man in the crotch. >> that was ironically was myinstinct. what's the stud? >> is the tud is the u-d. >> you are here as part of a comedy tour. you are not by yourself. you have a very funny com love to meet. >> my dear friend, please welcome stephanie simbari. >>ovely to have you both on this show. we are a show about viral videos and i have one that i want to share with you guys. it's cute and freaky and weird at the same time. kind of like ben.uy thinks that his grandmother sweet dog really likes him but i think he's confused. >>>> need help. >> look at the white eyeball. >> it's a bond villain. >> it the person petting the dogare of what's happening. >> you are the one who thinks you can turn this dog. you can make it love you. >> that explains taste in men. >> a little scragly, only has one eye. >> an amazing, spinning fortive you just did thi

. >> idiot. idiot. idiot. . >> oh, that was so stupid. i cannot believe he had thealk up to that thing and lay his hands on it. even if he just got bit. the bite on a python could do some serious damage. >> do you still wonder who should pick up the check on the first date? the answer is the dude should pay. that's it. simple as that.n he forgets his wallet. >> he's going to the bathroom and never coming back. p[music]: and the pwonderful thing about god is, he pdoesn't cause us to measure up pand then choose us. pgod takes our inadequate areasem to do psomething in our lives that's pworthwhile. >> that's embarrassing. >> that is. >>> these two jokers are lucky because they don't have to worry about the first date anymore. yes, there are always these questions, what do you wear? what do you on the first date? but the big question is should he pay? well, we put out a series of videos on relationships. and the first one is who should pay on the first date. ton of money, an expensive restaurant. >> maybe she's all about equality. hey, hey, h

idiot test, when i heard, finally a show just for me. >> what do you guys say we bring him in? he's actually visiting us here on set right this minute. >> hello, hello. what's going on? >> come on in. welcome back. >> it's great to have you here. your show, "idiot test" doing really well. you have this video on line called the stud puzzle. your contestants are asked to touch the stud. where is the stud? >> it's not a stud. >> that's what i first thought. >> he poked the man in the crotch. >> that was ironically was my initial instinct. what's the stud? >> is the tud is the s-t-u-d. >> you are here as part of a comedy tour. you are not by yourself. you have a very funny comedienne we would love to meet. >> my dear friend, please welcome stephanie simbari. >> it's absolutely lovely to have you both on this show. we are a show about viral videos and i have one that i want to share with you guys. it's cute and freaky and weird at the same time. kind of like ben. >> this guy thinks that his grandmother sweet dog really >> evil! >> oh! >> need help. >> look at the white eyeball. >> i

idiot test, when i heard, finally a show just for me. >> what do you guys say we bring him in? he's actually visiting us here on set right this minute. >> hello, hello. what's going on? >> come on in. welcome back. >> it's great to have you here. your show, "idiot test" doing really well. you have this video on line called the stud puzzle. your contestants are asked to touch the stud. where is the stud? >> it's not a stud. it's more like a doorjamb. >> what i first thought. >> that was ironically was my initial instinct. what's the stud? >> is the tud is the s-t-u-d. >> you are here as part of a comedy tour. you are not by yourself. you have a very funny comedienne we would love to meet. >> my dear friend, please welcome stephanie simbari. >> it's absolutely lovely to have you both on this show. we are a show about viral videos and i have one that i want to share with you guys. at the same time. kind of like ben. >> this guy thinks that his grandmother sweet dog really likes him but i think he's confused. >> evil! >> oh! >> look at the white eyeball. >> it's a bond villain. >>

. >> idiot. idiot. idiot. >> don't close your eyes. >> oh, that was so stupid. i cannot believe he had the gumption to walk up to that thing and lay his hands on it. even if he just got bit. the bite on a python could do some serious damage. >> do you still wonder who should pick up the check on the first date? the answer is the dude should pay. that's it. simple as that. but what happens when he forgets his wallet. >> he's going to the bathroom and never coming back. >> that's embarrassing. >> that is. that makes me hurt inside. >>> these two jokers are lucky because they don't have to worry yes, there are always these questions, what do you wear? what do you do? do you kiss on the first date? but the big question is should he pay? >> well, we put out a series of videos on relationships. and the first one is who should pay on the first date. >> the dude should pay. if you don't want to put out a ton of money, then don't choose an expensive restaurant. >> maybe she's all about equality. hey, hey, hey, i can pay my own. leave the door open and then you get to be

. >> idiot. idiot. idiot. >> oh, that was so stupid. i cannot believe he had the gumption to walk up to that thing and lay his hands on it. even if he just got bit. the bite on a python could do some serious damage. >> do you still wonder who should pick up the check on the first date? the answer is the dude should pay. that's it. simple as that. but what happens when he forgets his wallet. >> he's going to the bathroom and never coming back. >> now, that doesn't happen. (donkey sound) (elephant sound) there's a big difference between making noise, (tapping sound) and making sense. (elephant sound) (donkey sound) when it comes to social security, we need more than lip service. our next president needs a real plan to keep social security strong. (elephant noise) hey candidates. give us a plan. when you've got a house full of guests on the way and a cold with sinus pressure, you need fast relief. alka-seltzer plus severe sinus congestion and cough liquid gels rush relief to your tough symptoms. to put you back in control. [doorbell] woman

90 tiger right, you idiot! player: hey, hey, hey! easy! aah! announcer: brian murphy fumbles the ball. dallas recovers. whoo! martel: nice hands. banes: 3-2 magic... rack zero. what the hell was that about? cheerleaders: defense! defense! defense! [blows whistle] announcer: touchdown, dallas. player: i see him, i see him. gruff, wake up, ok? [whistle blows] come on! wellwhat the... announcer: pass incomplete by eddie martel. [booing] what the hell was that? hey, i'm talking to you! i call the plays out on the field, not you. that's not the way i coach. i don't really care. because that's the way i play. announcer: that's the end of the first half-- with the score dallas 17, washington 0. coach mcginty, what will washington need to get back into this ball game? heart. i'm--i'm sorry? you got to have heart. miles and miles of heart. well, there you have it in a word from coach mcginty. washington will need heart clifford: i ran it just like you said! you just under-threw me! martel: this isn't a track meet, franklin. you have to look for the ball

it's not your fault your owner is an idiot. >> a dog is running loose. >> see how confronting rooster's owner gets it up. >> do you realize having a dog off a leash is not only illegal -- >> two pilots are out flying when one spots something. >> i'm clearing you. >> the buddy system on one scary landing. >> a driver in a marked patrol car is -- >> putting people in danger than protecting. >> how ordinary citizens busted >> plus, the buzz word for your chance to win a new ipad mini and a dude who is deep asleep gets a makeover. the moment the old permanent ink makeover sets in. >> i have one question, can't we all just get along? >> these neighbors can't get along because of this. >> hey rooster, it's not your fault your owner is an idiot. >> rooster is rambunctious and doesn't spend much time on its leash. >> if he's friendly. >> no. >> if you own a dog, you can't let it roam the neighborhood. it poops everywhere. who knows if there's a kid running around and the kid wants to take a nip at the kid. >> all points that the person filming this video has made and he's fed up with it. >> do

. >> idiot. idiot. >> don't close your eyes. >> oh, that was so stupid. i cannot believe he had the gumption to walk up to that thing and lay hihands on it. even if he just got bit. the bite on a python could do some serious damage. >> do you still wonder who should pick up the check on the first date? the answer is the dude should pay. that's it. simple as that. but what happens when he forgets his wallet. >> he's going to the bathroom and never coming back. >> oh, >>> trying to fit small items in large spaces? a difficult thing to do especially when you're talkimg about a really small car into a >> how did you even get here if you're this inept? is this even a passenger in this car? i would haveotten out 15 minutes ago. keep in mind, this video is sped up. >> it took apparently three minutes. two people do get out of the car i'm gog to give them the benefit of the doubt. sometimes friends get distracted when driving, talking, talking away, maybe these people were talking, distracted, talking away and the talking got the driver distracted. >> i just thin

. >> idiot. idiot. idiot. >> don't close your eyes. >> oh, that was so stupid. i cannot believe he had the gumption to walk up to that thing and lay his hands on it. even if he just got bit. the bite on a python could do some serious damage. >> do you still wonder who should pick up the check on the first date? the answer is the dude should pay. that's it. simple as that. but what happens when he forgets his wallet. >> he's going to the bathroom and never coming back. a difficult thing to do especially when you're talking about a really small car into a large parking spot. >> how did you even get here if you're this inept? is this even a passenger in this car? i would have gotten out 15 minutes ago. keep in mind, this video is sped up. >> it took apparently three minutes. two people do get out of the car i'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt. sometimes friends get distracted when driving, talking, talking away, maybe these people were talking, distracted, talking away and the talking got the driver distracted. >> i just think they should take their key

. >> we didn't call each other idiots or fascists trying to destroy america because then playing poker or having a drink with an idiot or fascist who was trying to destroy america and that respect gave us room for progress. >> president obama spoke about this issue during his state of the union this year, saying one of his goals for his last year in office is to bring together both sides of the aisle. in the newsroom, i'm kim khazei, 7news. >>> the justice department saying last night it would take legal action against ferguson and officials are holding a news conference on the suit right now. the city negotiated an agreement with the federal government to make sure its police and courts are acting legally the city council is now trying to make changes to that agreement. the justice department says ferguson is just stalling. the agreement is intended to correct problems identified in a justice department investigation that followed the fatal shooting of 18-year-old michael brown by ferguson police officers. now, the city's mayor says the council voted to revise the afford all the chang

it was you being an idiot. where's paul bullard now i swear, i don't know. i'm not high enough up on the chain to know where they are. know what? i'm not buying it. all this so bullard can kick his nephew's ass before he sends him away? beam doesn't mess around. jeremy. jeremy, stay awake! so we know mac's taking jemy to see paul bullard. and we can assume the daughter's being held someplace secure. winnie, contact guns and gangs of any properties known to belong to the bedlam crew. copy that. and, boss, i have something else might be relevant. go ahead. there's an i.a. file building against sergeant maccoy. internal affairs? what do they want with mac? they said it involves unusual bank activity. i.a. uncovered regular payments from an investment company suspected of having ties to the bedlam gang. thanks, winnie. so that's why he didn't call when leslie was taken. he was afraid we were going to find out he was working for bullard. parker: or he thought he could take care of it himself before the accident. when his wife was sick, he flew her all over the co

what an idiot! ha, ha, ha. this guy, so ridiculous. man, but if there is one man who proved he wasn't an idiot last night was the 1950s basketball legend and 74 year old senator bernie sanders. >> key groups of voters supporting bernie sanders tonight included 85% of millenials, 72% of independents voting in the democratic party. two thirds of gun owners, and those who say they are very liberal. >> trevor: yeah, young people love him. independents love him, gun owners love him. and don't forget his strongest demographic, your friends on facebook. yeah. (applause) i gises techically they like him, but still, as for secretary clinton, sander 2-s 2 point win made for an awkward concession speech and luckily here at the daily show we had our subtext closed captioning on. >> thank you all very, very much. my goodness. i don't know what we would have done tonight if we had actually won. this is a pretty exciting event. and i'm very grateful to all of you. i want to begin by congratulating senator sanders on his victory tonight. and i want to

- that wasn't a mayan apocalypse, you racist idiot! - it wasn't? so then you mean... we do have until 2012. well, it may be only three years, but i intend to live those precious years to the fullest! - will somebody just get me to a hospital? i need to get my stomach pumped! - aw, come on. it was just a little pee, kyle. - god damn it, don't you get it? i hate pee! i'm grossed out by pee! the only thing i find more disgusting than pee is bananas! - all right everyone, quick! here you go! - what's this? - you all need to eat your banana immediately! - what the hell for? - eat the banana, or we have to put you down! - aahghghghgh! >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "daily show" with trevor noah. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome to the "daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much, everybody. our guest tonight, our guest tonight from the new movie "zoolander 2", ben stiller, is here! ( cheers and applause ) , obut first, some breaking new. you may or may not remember the big climate su

>> i don't know, i was an idiot, frankly. i still haven't ever done anything for money, you know? and we just started selling out concerts and making more money than we'd ever made and i money? you know, i'm an artist. today? >> oh, yeah. i'm a blues fanatic. music. muddy water blues music. where do we hear it? on ads, toyota ads. the corporate world, which was sort of -- we -- our influences were bohemian in those days, but now people who are my age in the corporate world, they're more bourgeois, can but their tastes are rooted in those '60s bohemia, and that's where we get all the -- a lot of it's corporate driven. >> even bob dillen. >> exactly, exactly. it's okay to do. >> yeah. bob -- everything bob does is cool. >> i know that you're an investor and have you been kind this year with the horrific start to the year? >> yeah. >> what do you think? >> i think it's looking for a bottom somewhere. i'm an investor, i'm not a speculator. so, you know, i just sit tight, but i think we had an amazing run, so this is a correction of sorts. and i think if you just buy, you know, blue ch

. >> what's on the idiot box. >> it's only an idiot box if an idiot is watching. >> ts

. >> what's on the idiot box. >> it's only an idiot box if an idiot is watching. >> this golden age will be looked upon as the platinum age. >> our obligation is to entertain. >> kunta. kunta kinte. >> congress has no right to interfere with the media. >> excuse me! >> you have a responsibility to give the audience what it tuned in to see. >> ♪ ♪ >>> the years of the '60s which end in a few hours, have a reputation of things that is not justified. tv coverage is better, northwest worse, we simply developed more demanding standards. >> when i think of tv, i think of the '70s. >> what is this world coming to? >> the american public was hungry for more. >> more was allowed. that hadn't been before. >> it was the last decade where it was a campfire television where there was one in the living room. >> i want to watch all-black show for a change. >> where you going to find one? >> here's one, the range lakers against the milwaukee bucks. >> young people were interested in relevant things. and so television began to reflect that. >> this is cbs. >> really it was very simple, you had three chan