the only other people who have ever done it-- lee iacocca, jack welch, and--no judgment-- saddam hussein. so what have you got for me? - i need to get out to newark airport. carol's on a layover, and i really have to see him. - you're horny, and you want to get some. i get it. - ew, jack, gross. come on. i just want to see him, and i can't get a cab, because greece is playing pakistan in soccer. - problem solved. i'll take you. - really? - i'll drop you off at the airport, then i'll swing by msnbc. i have to talk to rachel maddow. only one of us can have this haircut. [upbeat jazzy music] ♪ - k-swiss, i need to cancel my gig for hosting the mtv international video music awards. - why wasn't i invited to that? my single is number four in japan. ♪ choke me, choke me ♪ blonde like choke me ♪ tee-hee-hee-hee-hee - i hate to bail, but i've been asked to do a commercial for the boys and girls club of america, and i just can't turn down community service, because if i do, that judge will make me join the coast guard. - well, i also recently received an unexpected honor... from the carvel ice cr