jeff gardere. gentlemen, thank you. we do know a bit from all the reporting by the major organizations, "new york times" and associated press and our own n nbc efforts here that basically it was a guy who had a history of mental illness of some kind, who went to a -- got up this morning at his mother's home where they were living together, killed her, took guns that were registered in her name including an assault rifle and two semi-automatic pistols with lots of ammo, headed off to the school where she taught, entered two classrooms and after killing a number of the school administrators, the adults, began to kill a number of the students to the point where there's 20 dead now. how do you put that together? you, josh. what does it tell you? can you get to anything, if that's all you knew? >> no. it's really hard to tell exactly what was going on with this person. there are a lot of people in this country who have mental illness. at any one given time it's estimated that about 25% of this country i

let's get to doctor jeff gardere. has been talking a lot about what answers parents need to be giving their children. he's a clinical psychologist. so, jeff, i did that interview with the -- those parents a little bit earlier today. and they were struggling. they literally did not know the words to use to be able to tell their first grade son that some of his classmates and his good friends had been killed. how do people who are in the situation handle this? how do those of us who are outside of it and have children that are dealing with it handle it as well? >> well, i heard what they said, and it was very poignant. they had listened to the experts such as myself giving advice. if you have children who have heard about this, how to speak with them. this is a very special population. they're the ones that are at the ground zero who have been traumatized. and i would tell those parents, and this is specifically for you there in connecticut, as part of sandy hook. the most important thing is let your children know that

joining me from new york is clinical psychologist jeff gardere. great to have you back. someone said that about newtown, it is a town with ptsd. >> yes. >> i say we're a country right now with ptsd. >> absolutely. everyone is feeling this. when you look at hurricane sandy and what happened in newtown, these were the grinches that stole christmas. a lot of people don't even realize that christmas is on tuesday. they're just oblivious. we don't see a lot of decorations. people really are grieving, don. >> i said a moment ago this is having a broader effect. how significant are those effects? you told us earlier about a group of parents in new york that you spoke to who were just weeping over this. >> absolutely. everyone i know has been affected. they still have not been able to come back from it. and they're still processing because they don't know what happened. and with this shooter taking his life and taking his mom's life, they feel that they've been cheated out of any kind of justice or understanding what happened. >> one of the young girls who died in newtown is emi

jeff gardere is here. jeff, i don't even know where to begin with this.e community dealing with 26 people, with 20 children, with families dealing with this, parents who sent their kids to school, went off to work or off to do whatever they were doing, getting ready for the holidays, maybe they were well, i just tho be very honest with ourselves that many of us feel like you, don. we don't know where to begin. but there is a place and that is what the police are doing and the mobile crisis units are doing now which is providing debriefing to not just get information but to allow these families to allow the parents, to allows the friends to just be able to talk about what they're experiencing. allowing them to ease into this grieving process that's going to be taking such a long time for them to get through, but most importantly, to help stabilize them, making sure that they get information that they get food, that they get warmth, that they get support and that they have an open communication, shoulders that are available for them to cry on to lean on. th

winer and thank you jeff gardere. we'll be right back. ression. drug and alcohol abuse is up. and those dealing with grief don't have access to the professional help they need. when you see these issues, do you want to walk away or step up? with a degree in the field of counseling or psychology from capella university, you'll have the knowledge to make a difference in the lives of others. let's get started at capella.edu share "not even close." share "you owe me..." share "just right." the share everything plan. sharable data across 10 devices with unlimited talk and text. get a droid razr m by motorola for $49.99. >>> we've endured too many of these tragedies in the past few years. and each time i hear the news, i react not as a president, but as anybody else would, as a parents. and that was especially true today. i know there's not a parent in america who doesn't feel the same overwhelming grief that i do. the majority of those who died today were children. beautiful little kids between the ages of 5 and 10 years old. they had their entire lives ahead of them. birthdays, gr

prep school in connecticut, and i'm also joined by renowned mental health expert, psychologist, jeff gardere, also an msnbc news contributor. good to have you here. the kids where you are in newtown are not in school, in fact, they are burying two of their own, two of the 6-year-olds that were lost on friday. millions of parents today are bringing their kids back to school, left with a lot of questions and concerns, wondering is this school going to be safe for them. my sister called me today, my niece and nephew had a lot of questions. she was trying to reassure them and she's left with a heavy heart but she said she was assured by people like you coming on tv trying to help guide them through what they can talk about. so what are you recommending as parents talk to their kids? >> one of the first things i want people to understand is that your children are safe in school. they had more of a probability of being hurt on the ride to school in the car than they do being in school. even at sandy hook, there are approximately 400 children there and sadly, 20 perished but the staff and faculty a

. >> i'm joined again from new york by clinical psychologist jeff gardere. e to interrupt you if the white house briefing starts. >> sure. >> to go to that. but in the meantime, let's talk about this. what do you say? there are kids all over the country, they're getting bits and pieces of this story. they're probably afraid. they're probably very upset. how should parents communicate and reassure them that it's okay to go to school? >> well, first and foremost, suzanne, we've got to let the kids know that yes, they are safe. there are no guarantees in life at all. but they are safe in their schools. and the way that we can do that is taking them to school, spending some time with them and certainly the teachers have to spend the time hugging them and talking to them and reassuring them in addition, of course, to their learning their lessons of the day. secondly, i just think it's important that we listen to our children. it's not about lecturing to them, but knowing where they are, asking them, just throwing out little bits of information and try to pull them

. >> reporter: psychologist and nbc news contributor jeff gardere. >> you look at these court papers.vorce seemed pretty imkabbalai cabable. >> they tend to feel guilty. they tend to feel that maybe they did something that contributed to that divorce. but they also see thatfoundatio their lives, the stability is being torn asunder. >> of course, right now, no one knows exactly what caused adam's violent spiral. his father has not spoken publicly yet, just releasing a statement saying he cannot comprehend what has unfolded. he is saddened and struggling to make sense of it all and is he fully cooperating with law enforcement. >> all right, thanks so much. >>> coming up, one of the fallen people of sandy hook's massacre, dawn hochsprung. we'll talk to her daughter exclusively. but first, this is "today" on nbc. mine was earned off vietnam in 1968. over the south pacific in 1943. i got mine in iraq, 2003. usaa auto insurance is often handed down from generation to generation. because it offers a superior level of protection, and because usaa's commitment to serve the military, veterans a

and that is why i want to bringing in jeff gardere to talk about how one explains this tragedy to children clinical psychologist. before we talk about this explaining this to a child, we've been talking a lot about gun laws in this country and about somehow making sure that the -- they don't get in the hands of the wrong people. i think it's just as important to talk about mental health, a subject that's been coming up over and over and over again. so where do we start here then? because i guess is nebulous a right, right word or complex is probably the right word when it comes to dealing with mental health issues. >> yes, it is very complex. and this brings up a very excellent point and i'm so glad, don, that you're asking this question. you had a previous guest who said look, when it comes to background checks, we have to look at minnesota mull facic personality inventory which gives us a broad spectrum as to who the person is, some of the psychological projective tests and so on. he is right on with that because right now one of the only questions asked when you're getting a gun permit