i mean, look at jeff ross. he's one ugly motherfucker. ght she had twins. that's why he's so corny. look at his droopy face, saggy skin, rubbery, wet lips. if jeff had a string hanging from his mouth, he'd look like lisa's pussy. no, but seriously, though, i like jeff, though. you know why i like jeff? 'cause he would do anything to get a laugh, except say something funny. i gotta say a few more things about my girl snooki over there. [laughter] oh, that ain't snooki? oh, my bad. i'm sorry. all white people who act black look alike to me. sorry. [cheers and applause] so, uh, the situation's a rapper now, huh? shit, i heard his rhymes. the best thing you ever spit was seth macfarlane's jizz-izzle. [laughter] check out your hair, your shaved chest, your plucked eyebrows. there used to be a word for guys like you, and that word was "gay." i guess that's still the word. hey, man, stop lifting your shirt up like a prison bitch, or else go out on the corner and get me some motherfuckin' money before i go upside your head with this coat hanger. [

. >>> we want to go in and check in with the "today" show, sheinelle jones and jeffç ross. >> good morning on a saturday morning here on "today," philadelphia preparing to greet pope francis with open arms today. the city of brotherly love taking historic measures to keep everyone safe. and we'll tell you how some people are cashing in on the pope's visit. >> reporter: >> pope bobbleheads. you know it's big when you get a bobblehead. >>> how would you react if you saw a child acting out of control in a public place? we're putting people to the test in our hidden cameras with a special rossen report. >>> a miral baby born 17 years premature at sea. the dramatic and successful effort to save his life. >> we'll have those stories and much more when we get started on a pretty busy saturday morning right here on "today." back to you in d.c. >> thanks, guys. >>> how do you tell a baby from a bao bao? >> you'll have to ask the national zoo. bei bei. it means precious treasure. isn't he? bao bao, his 2-year-old sister means roughly the same thing, bei bei weighs three pounds, ten times what he wee

back with me, jeff and ross. ross, to you first. what should we look for next week?>> i think, charles, the volatility is kind of here to stay for a while. and if you were watching the vix at all and vix futures in the past week or past two weeks, when the stuff first started getting crazy, we were down 1100. vix futures didn't believe it, they were staying down like everything was going to get calm again, but in the last several days, the days when the market was up, vix futures have been going up steadily pretty much except for yesterday, and they're starting to act now like this volatility is here to stay for a while. i think they're right. charles: but does volatility mean to the downside? it feels to me, the dow last few days, 16,000, maybe firmed up a little bit. i saw stocks like linkedin, micron, try to rally here and there. there are stocks that are significantly oversold, not necessarily true or represents the broad market. is there any hope that could be a few rays of sunshine next week. >> the president of the federal reserve of minneapolis, they're wheel

other candidates include steve scalise, kathy mcmorris rogers and peter ross com, jeff heserling and tom price. >> the time has come to turn the page. the time has come to turn the page and allow a new generation of leaders. >> in a recent fox news poll 62% of republican primary voters said they felt betrayed by their party. 66% said they felt the republican majority in congress failed to do all they can to reverse president obama's agenda. while jockeying plays out congress also still facing the possibility of a government shutdown if no budget is passed by thursday. >>> this morning cal fire says the valley fire is now nearly contained, after two weeks of burning around middletown containment is now at 95%. officials say if the weather continues to cooperate it should be fully contained in about a week. so far though it's burned through more than 76,000 acres and destroyed nearly 2,000 buildings. meanwhile, schools in the area will reopen tomorrow. the district says all the elementary schools survived without serious damage. the only school that got burned was loconoma valley high

ross rolston report. today we are talking about cars blowing the speed limit and putting kids at risk. jeff, good morning. >> reporter: good morning to you. so many kids heading back to school right now. this as you know is timely. did you know every single an average of 44 kids are hit while walking, many of them on their way to school. why are drivers continuing to blaze through school zones? how can your kids protect themselves? this morning before they walk out the door your entire family needs to see this. the school day is starting in tellpy, arizona. students hurrying to class. crossing busy streets. >> 48 47. 48, 53. >> reporter: so why are these drivers flying by? >> he was doing 53 in a school zone. >> reporter: are you going get him? >> yes, i am. >> reporter: all right. this year, tragic cases across the country n. oregon, these teenagers hit near their high school, one of them speaking out from the hospital. >> we were so lucky. the next time it could be fatal for someone. >> reporter: in new york, a 12-year-old boy struck and killed in front of his elementary school. and in mo