she believed that the man she married, the widower, jefferson davis, loved her independent mind and spirit as much as he loved her beauty, for that's what he told her, as he was court willing her. -- courting her, but it proved tragically wrong. davis held a rigid and traditional view of gender roles if marriage and if their early years together, he laid down an endless barrage of criticism, because she would not cop form to his desires to present herself to the world as she ought, an obedient wife. at one point he refuses to allow her to come to washington with him, because he will not let people see a wife who does not obey him. he's not one of my favorite people. he asserted his masculine authority and set about with steely determination to break varina's will. he was more than willing, however, to privately harness all her intellectual skills, for throughout his career, he sought her opinion and advice on political matters, relied on her astute reading of the character and motivations of the political leaders, friend and foe around him, and took full advantage of her sometimes sad effo