please welcome jim gaffigan. [ cheers and applause ] >> david, hi, how are you? e you. >> long snapper, really? >> i was a long snapper in high school and in college. i mean, i quit in college. i was too good at football. >> that's usually what happens. you get so good at it you quit. >> that's right. can i point out something. has any animated character ever been that fat? like, shrek is thinner than that guy. how fat does my voice sound? like they heard me and they're like, oh, this guy's fat. >> but you're perfect for this role. >> i love it. >> first of all, we have to say -- [ applause ] >> yes, we love it. so much so that there's part three. happy father's day to you. >> thank you. >> you have five kids. >> five kids. >> so father's day is big. what did they do for you? >> they did nothing. they did nothing. mostly because they have no money. but the one thing i wanted to do is i wanted to take them out for ice cream so i announced that and they were like all excited and then, you know, 30 seconds later they're negotiating like can we also go to a movie, you