(laughter) and my guest, author jim holt, has written a book on why the world exists. well, when two planets love each other very much they share a special hug. (laughter) the university of tennessee frat members were caught butt-chugging wine. (laughter) that sounds like some drunk ass (bleep). (laughter) this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the "report." it's good to have you with us! thank you, ladies and gentlemen. (cheers and applause) (audience chanting "stephen") (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, thank you so much for joining us. good to have you with us. folks, it is almost midnight on i don't mean yom kippur, the jewish day of atonement, filled with somer reflection and profound regret-- that i had to give my writers the day off. (laughter) come back, fellas, god forgives you. (laughter) (whispering) but i never will. i'd also like to toast my jewish viewers who are breaking fast tonight. to life! or, as your people say, aloha! (la

jim holt. the book is "why does the world exist?" we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> stephen: that's it for the "report," everybody! good night. good night. (cheers and applause) ♪ butt, butt, butt ♪ open up the time capsule ♪ butt, butt, butt ♪ open up the time capsule - frank: what are you doing? - ♪ butt, butt, butt i could watch him do that for hours. ♪ open up the time capsule (laughter) what is the time capsule butt-butt? we're about to open this time capsule that we buried ten years ago. - oh. - yeah. (grunts) what'd you put in there? oh, man, we just put a bunch of stuff in here that we thought would be valuable one day, like, uh, let's see, we got a gregg jeffries baseball card. future all-star, future all-star. - it wasn't valuable then. - uh, we got a korn cd. uh, we got a copy of cider house rules on laser disc. don't know why we thought that would be valuable. that's a collector's item. that's gonna be very-- be very careful with that. oh, my god, you guys, this is a letter to my future self. what?! yeah. "de

jim holt. the book is "why does the world exist?" we'll be right back.cheers and applause) @@@@@@@@ú[l[m[m[m[ (cheers and applause) >> stephen: that's it for the "report," everybody! good night. (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a good one for you tonight. the actress olivia wilde, star of the new movie "butter" will be here. she's going to churn up. . . some. . . excitement. (laughter) i hate myself. let's begin tonight with a crisis rocking this nation. >> a huge outcry, millions talking about it, tweeting, facebooking about it, it's gone viral. >> the two sides are locked basically in this labor dispute. >> jon: a labor dispute! yes, as it was in the days of the triangle shirtwaist factory and the pinkerton boys. a labor dispute has once again taught americans about the irreplaceable value of working men and women. >> chicago standoff. teachers now say they will not be back today as their strike enters its second week. >> jon: not that labor dispute. (laughter) irreplac

jim holt. the book is "why does the world exist?" we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) [ male announcer ] precision. at lenscrafters we call it accufit. a digital scanning system five times more precise. helping you see perfectly. that's precision. ♪ lenscrafters. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: that's it for the "report," everybody! good night. good night. (cheers and applause) (mysterious music plays) (zapping) (electronic pulsing) (burbling) (cool jazz rhythm playing on cymbal) (camera clicks) (lounge music version of theme song playing) ♪ ♪ you and i will be reborn ♪ in a future place and time ♪ if everything our hindu brethren say is true ♪ ♪ in an age of things that hover ♪ ♪ you and i will still be lovers ♪ ♪ and we'll say to ourselves ♪ that was then and this is, too ♪ ♪ doo-doo-be-doo, doo-doo ♪ 'cause we'll still find the happening hot spots ♪ ♪ we'll still cruise the cool casinos ♪ ♪ you'll still fly me to the moon ♪ ♪ although the moon ♪ to which you fly me could be phobos or demos ♪ ♪ the psychic worms from rigel nine ♪ ♪ who control

(laughter) and my guest, author jim holt, has written a book on why the world exists.ell, when two planets love each other very much they share a special hug. (laughter) the university of tennessee frat members were caught butt-chugging wine. (laughter) that sounds like some drunk ass (bleep). (laughter) this is "the colbert report." (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause )