>> jimmy: whatever. >> what? >> jimmy: whatever. right?s right. >> jimmy: all right, you guys, here we go. ready? here we go. >> i'm a professional actor, by the way. >> jimmy: i know. but -- have you ever played charades? >> yes. >> i -- >> jimmy: no. that's why this is gonna be fun. all right, here's how we play. each player gets a turn giving clues to their teammate. 45 seconds on the clock per turn. two first rounds -- the first two rounds, sorry, are worth one point each, okay? the third round is a charades showdown. [ audience ohs ] where each team will get the same clue to give at the same time. >> oh. >> jimmy: whoever guesses the correct answer first gets two points. may the best team win. ellen, you are our guest so please, you go first. >> thank you. >> jimmy: all right, come on, pal. >> i pick any number? >> jimmy: yeah. ask the audience to help you out. [ screaming ] just one audience member helped out? [ laughter ] ridiculous. all right. you can put the -- you can put the clue in there, if you want to. if you need both hands.

jimmy, now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: will you -- sorry. what?ay, nutmeg. >> you like that? >> jimmy: yeah. do i put all these cubes in there? >> yeah, put them all in. >> jimmy: why do you soak them in milk? does it help -- >> it's going to help keep them moist and make the meatballs really light. >> jimmy: oh, i know you all have this place -- b-spot. >> b-spot. bourbon, beer, bratwurst, baloney, bourbon. >> jimmy: cut me in. let's do this. >> come on. what's the secret to an awesome burger? if someone's having a barbecue, and they're doing it up. they're making a burger. the one thing. >> one thing, you need 25% to 30% fat in a burger. >> jimmy: you need a little fat. >> lean burgers -- >> jimmy: please. like, don't even show up to my barbecue. >> yeah. no good. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so, you -- you get in there. >> jimmy: get in there. yeah. >> get in there. start mixing it up. >> jimmy: thank you. >> and you have a towel here, and i already have some mixed. >> jimmy: well then why am i doing this? [ laughter ] why would you do this? why didn't y

>> jimmy: wow.>> in a way -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> -- yes. >> jimmy: but this is like, fascinating. wait. i want to do it again. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is delicious. >> isn't that great? >> jimmy: i'll tell you, it's just like a gourmet -- whatever this thing is. >> it's fantastic. >> jimmy: is that a ding dong? >> it could be. i mean -- it's not my ding dong, but -- [ laughter ] >> i made you eat a ding dong. in front of the whole country! >> jimmy: on national tv? >> that's right. is this the first ding dong you've ever had? >> jimmy: i've had them before. i had them in college. [ laughter and applause ] >> now, they also -- >> jimmy: summer camp. >> do the yodel. they also do a yodel. their rendition of a yodel, but, you know, i brought some to my band. >> jimmy: oh yeah. come on. you've got to pay the roots off. >> can i go give it to them? >> jimmy: absolutely, absolutely. >> come on. >> jimmy: they deserve it. they're the greatest. you're so nice to do this. >> well -- >> jimmy: tha

>> jimmy: doing good. [ laughter ] congratulations on that. >> after that, i'm doing a planter's peanut commercial. it's a whole thing. yeah. >> jimmy: mr. peanut. that's a hard gig to get. >> exactly. >> jimmy: everyone's after that. how are you? you're going to the royal wedding. that is a giant nbc thing. >> it's not only an nbc thing, jim. it's a giant thing around the world. >> jimmy: the world. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> do you believe how much coverage we're dedicating to this? >> jimmy: it's insane. >> friday morning, we'll be on the air for seven hours in london. >> jimmy: they're pushing our show further back. >> i know. >> like, we air, like 3:00 in the morning. >> my soup maker -- >> jimmy: you look great, by the way. >> -- has ingeniously created a catheter inside -- >> jimmy: no. come on. no, no, no. >> seriously, i can't move for seven hours. >> jimmy: i mean, insane. how is it going to work? >> hold on. >> jimmy: yeah. no, no! [ laughter ] you got to calm down. this happens to a lot of our guests

. >> jimmy: it does?after the inauguration, i noticed everybody was working the hat. >> jimmy: everybody. >> working the hat. working the hat. >> jimmy: well, actually, it was just announced it's going to be inducted into the smithsonian. >> yes. >> jimmy: i mean, come on. >> it would have been, but -- it will already be in there, but lie to go to the hospital. so we had to reschedule that. >> jimmy: so happy everything is going great for you. i just want to remind everyone this is for the -- may 3rd it comes out. and exclusively first at walmart. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: so you're doing that -- that's one of those new dial deals, everyone's doing that now. it's the new thing. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and then, after that, a month later, it will be available digitally on itunes and all that stuff. >> yes. yeah, right. it's on walmart.com as well though, now. >> jimmy: okay, cool. >> right now. >> jimmy: and you're going to do a song for us now in a couple minutes? >> yeah, i'm going to do two things. >> jimmy: oh,

jimmy! >> jimmy: thank you. thank you, steve.ong ] i see that you've attained the mark of the blood cheer. [ chanting ] [ light laughter ] now, a few things before we start. first, you can only break the pinatas using your karate kicks. you cannot use your hands. you cannot use your body. also, keep in mind, in the event of a tie, the audience will vote based on kicking awesomeness. it's important that your kicks awesome. any questions before we begin? >> nope. >> jimmy: very, very good. looks like you're thinking of a question. >> i -- i lost it. >> jimmy: okay, good. all right. well, you're up now. so go take your places, put on your blindfolds. let's get -- let's get the fiesta ring spinning. you got 20 seconds on the clock. can you see anything? >> absolutely nothing. >> jimmy: all right. ready. >> kick! >> jimmy: kick! ♪ >> jimmy: whoa! ♪ >> jimmy: all right. very good. very good. nice job. nice job. take off your blindfold. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] nice job. you did good. let's take a look that in slow motion,

jimmy: "30 rock," season finale. >> yeah. >> jimmy: tonight. >> it was tonight. >> jimmy: yeah. >> howw. hope everyone enjoyed it. 100 shows. >> 100 shows. [ cheers and applause ] thanks. >> jimmy: that's a big -- that's a milestone. >> that's big milestone. then by the end actually, this was like 102. it's so funny, because the thing is that after 102 shows, it is like a little off the rails. we just kind of -- we're in that phase. like, you know on sitcoms where people are like -- "and then my character's going to sing." like, we just do whatever we want. >> jimmy: making up crazy plots. >> yeah. we're gonna go to france. >> jimmy: when do you bring in -- like, the oliver? >> yeah, we need to adopt a little black kid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. you have to adopt a little black child and then jump the shark. >> but we did -- actually, our show actually takes place on the back of a shark, so we can't really -- >> jimmy: you can't ever -- >> we never jump the shark. >> jimmy: you're with the shark. >> we've been on the shark from the beginning. but we did start -- we started usi

okay. >> jimmy: yeah. >> fair enough. fair enough. >> jimmy: no? >> no.rsy! >> yes. >> jimmy: i knew it! i told you. >> yes. >> jimmy: but, you have a great cast of fun people. >> it is a great cast. it's a brilliant cast. sam worthington -- >> jimmy: eva mendes. >> -- and eva mendes, oh she's amazing. yeah. >> jimmy: who else was in it? >> dyan cannon -- >> jimmy: oh yeah, that's right. >> -- and griffin dunne. >> jimmy: i love griffin dunne. >> he's brilliant. >> jimmy: oh, he's fantastic. >> yes. it's great. >> jimmy: a really funny guy too. we have a clip of actually, griffin dunne. >> oh, there you go. >> it's you and griffin dunne. and this is just, what's happening here? is he -- is he assuming something's going down? >> he's assuming something is going down with an ex-boyfriend of mine who i happen to be having dinner with at the time. >> jimmy: controversy. "last night." [ light laughter ] >> where is your husband? >> he's in philadelphia on a business trip. >> what's he do? >> commercial real estate development, but i don't think that that's the

>> jimmy: what?e did nothing wrong. >> steve: nothing. >> jimmy: he's a good friend of mine. >> steve: he's a very popular individual. >> jimmy: he's a good guy. he's going to be mad at that one, though. [ laughter ] sorry, ryan. and finally, i just heard that mcdonald's is replacing its cashiers in europe with touch-screen tvs to let customers pay faster. that's good, because when i go to mcdonald's, my first thought is, how about i touch something that everyone here has been touching. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight, everybody! give it up for the roots! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's robert randolph sitting in with the roots tonight. robert! hey! hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> hey! >> jimmy: there's my man. here's his latest album, "we walk this road." you can catch robert performing right at brooklyn bowl right here in new york city tomorrow, thursday and friday. thanks so much for coming back here. always good to see you, buddy. >> brooklyn bowl, baby.

you are a party pooper, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right. >> come on, everybody, jimmy is a party pooper!] >> jimmy: all right, well -- apparently i'm a potty pooper. we'll get him later no celebrations tonight on "american idol," i'll tell you that. it was elimination night. tonight's elimination carried out by navy s.e.a.l.s. awesome. tonight jacob luks gsk got the . only three weeks away from electing and then ignoring a brand new "american idol." [ applause ] and then, while the number of contestants may be dwindling, steven tyler's libido is always on the rise. it's time now for what has become twice weekly tradition around here. steven tyler's creepy leer of the night. >> hot tickets are on sale next friday. may 13th. all right. right now, our top five are still happy together. watch this, let's give it up for them. >> jimmy: now he's coming onto us in our homes. charlie sheen made a big announcement on tuesday. his life tour is over but he told the crowd in seattle that he's planning to create a new tv show that will compete against "two and a half men." it's called "celebrity reha

you're my favorite. >> come on, jimmy. >> jimmy: we raced motorcycles around. >> i know. >> jimmy: andnd into the prop room and back through the curtain. now we call it the latifah loop. [ laughter ] so anytime we ever do -- anytime we ever do a race we call that the latifah loop. >> going on the loop. >> jimmy: so i was thinking, do you want to go back to the loop maybe with a different type of vehicle? a little race? [ cheers and applause ] >> i don't know. >> jimmy: come on. >> okay. but i kind of whooped you last time. and i don't want you to have set me up with anything crazy. can i do this race? >> jimmy: of course. >> it's not like one of those giant tricycle with a wheel this big that i can't reach and then you got a normal one? >> jimmy: let's find out when we come back. queen latifah and i are going to be racing. you'll love it. it's going to be good. it's going to be good. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i used to not travel very much, but then i discovered hotwire. now, i use all my vacation days. i can afford to visit my folks for the holidays. and reconnect with my girlfriends

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, guys. thank you very much. i'm jimmy.ost of the show. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. thank you for the applause and music and i tell you something, you make me feel like a real, live las vegas entertainer. it's tuesday night, judgment night on "dancing with the stars" and they really milked it. before the results show, they did a special where they recapped the greatest performances ever. they recapped a recap show. and now i'm about to recap that for you. the five dancers remaining, romeo, who used to be little romeo before he got big was forced to button his shirt and go home. he is on his way over with his partner, chelsie hightower to chot about his elimination. when your name is romeo, you have to expect that something bad is going to happen. and other celebrity news, the schwarzeneggers are splitting up. the gov noer and his wife marina shiver announced they are separating. sources say they stopped communicating. i'm surprised they ever communicated. and marina never lived up to the three-breasted wom

>> jimmy: the cars.e history with the cars. the cars got me through a very difficult time when i was a youngster. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. is this going to get sad? >> it's going to get real sad. no. it's going to sound sad. it's not sad at all, but i had a heart condition when i was a kid. [ audience aws ] yeah, you guys -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you guys -- yeah." that's the whole story, by the way. it's a great story. wait. what was the heart condition? >> i had -- basically, a murmur, but it was really bad. like it was, like, a heart shout. >> jimmy: ah. [ light laughter ] >> or something. and i had to -- i eventually had surgery when i was a teenager. but when i was younger, like in junior high, i would get procedures called a heart catheterization, where they stick a camera into your artery and take pictures of your heart and look at it. it's not that crazy of a procedure. it's like you're in and out in the same day, and they -- they put you to sleep. but the doctor told me when i came in bring

jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, higgins.nding closest to me, you are going to go first. take care, buddy. we're gonna work over here. you can get in there. ever pitch a tent before? a couple times, actually. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> [ tone loc recording ] let's do it. >> jimmy: all right. let's get ready to put it in reverse. on my mark, get set, act. ♪ all right. come out -- you got a bear patch, you're excited. you got a bear patch. oh my god, it's great. now i got to take it from, you. now i'll take it. i'll put it in my pocket. now you have to fight off a bear. fight him, give him a -- no, no, not punch him yet. there you go. that's good. punch him now. that's good. good try. good fighting a bear. good. very good, now -- now you're scared. now you're scared. be scared of the bear. >> ah! >> jimmy: be scared of the bear. very good. now -- now you get in the canoe. get in the canoe. >> ah! >> jimmy: no, no, you're over here. -- fire, sorry. grab the two sticks. grab the two sticks, make a fire. yep, very

yeah. >> jimmy: oh.ence ohs ] >> jimmy: is that right? every day? how long does it take to get out? >> about three to four hours but i was so tired of it, by the end, i would be out in about an hour and i would just have an -- a blue moustache. [ light laughter ] a blue, like, ears forever. and i actually couldn't get the safety deposit back on my apartment because my bathtub was blue. [ light laughter ] is that right? yeah, i lost all of -- still mad about that. >> jimmy: yeah. everything -- so you just stayed blue for -- how long did it take you to shoot this? >> five months. i was blue somewhere -- >> jimmy: and eight hours going in, three hours going out? that would drive me nuts. >> yeah. >> jimmy: for me, it's six hours. to look like this. yeah. [ laughter ] and then, eight hours to leave, so i'm just drunk back there. well, you have a clip. we want to show a clip of the movie, "x-men: first class," okay? >> yes. >> jimmy: this is very exclusive, you guys. this is only the best. [ cheers and applau

>> jimmy: literally. >> jimmy: yeah. for it so i went with phasing. >> thrilling work under pressure. >> jimmy: thank you. >> how did you cope with the great big sporting gesture there? >> jimmy: i have to say, it threw me. >> slightly unnerves you. you can break their hearts, these kids. >> jimmy: that's right. and that's what i was hoping, to break their hearts. bruise their brains a little bit. but then extended that courtesy and -- >> thrilling contest. anything can happen. anything can happen. i'm nervous. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess. it's no "thor," that's for sure. >> you know when we went to sydney we had chris' entire family, which seemed to be most of australia was there. everybody who had ever, had anything to do with chris showed up. it was very, very exciting. >> jimmy: do you think they really were his family or just trying to get in for free? >> there's a bit of that, plus, there are literally thousands of hemsworths. it's as simple as that. >> jimmy: is that right? well, and does he have brothers? a whole tho

>> sure, jimmy. >> jimmy: hey, all right.up. >> dear oprah. ♪ i just like to say on behalf of women everywhere, thank you for being such an inspiration all these years. whether it's been great book recommendations, relationship advice, or inspiring stories, you've never failed to keep us entertained while always keeping us informed. sure, i'll miss chatting with my gal pals every afternoon about what was on your show. but i can't wait to see what you do next. also, will you deliver my baby? [ laughter ] it would mean so much to me if you, oprah winfrey, delivered my baby. best of luck in the future and let me know about the baby. sincerely, kelly. >> jimmy: thank you so much, kelly. [ cheers and applause ] i think one of our cameraman has a letter he wants to read, too. barsky, you want to read a letter? >> yeah, jimmy. dear oprah. i wrote you a poem if you don't mind, i'd like to read it now. oprah, i will miss you, i think you're the best. i'm really going to miss you because i think you're the best. i'm still working on th

thank, jimmy.i'm here tonight with the exciting news about the free "jimmy kimmel live" app. >> jimmy: show us how it works katie. >> i'll show you how it works. the jkl app is available for the ipad, iphone, and ipod touch. you can watch video from the show anywhere, on the go, and you can read jimmy's hilarious tweets. like this one here. you're nothing more than a wad of used fabric softener sheets. i hate you, airplane pillows. that's hysterical! it is. >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. i'm flattered. and where is this app available? >> right here at the apple store. >> jimmy: there you go. tell them about it, dicky. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" app, available exclusively at the apple app store. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with mike tyson, music from big sean and christina aguilera. but a million and one imperatives. do. is a challenge. the expectation of greatness. which is why we don't just make technology we make do machines. super powered creation engines, that m

>> um, "i love you, jimmy." >> jimmy: see?s totally bailing." >> jimmy: "he's totally bailing." it could be either one of those. but, when you come on, when you're touring, could you come back and play with your sister? >> done. are you kidding? >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: aly michalka, i love you. thank you, for coming on the show. you're adorable. aly michalka, everybody! darius rucker performs next! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ take the finish challenge. i'm robin sue joss and my website is big red kitchen. i do believe in standards. cascade was a disappointment because you have dried on food stains. but when i took the finish challenge i realized, i don't need to settle. i like to make roast beef and it leaves a lot of baked on grease. so i threw it in the dishwasher, i did not pre-rinse. but when i open the dishwasher, everything was very shiny and no more gunk left on my dishes. i used to use cascade now i use finish quantum. take the finish challenge for yourself. if you don't see a difference, it's fr

myab >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with exciting news. "jimmy kimmel live" now has an app. that's right. just like a real show. here now with all the details, our spokesmodel, katie. hello, katie. how are you? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: go ahead. >> we are pleased to -- you -- what was that? >> jimmy: yours is in blue. >> hello, i'm pleased to be here to introduce the "jimmy kimmel live" app. >> jimmy: and we are pleased to have you, katie. tell us about some of the apps features. >> with the "jimmy kimmel live" app, you can watch video from the show anywhere on the go. >> jimmy: even like in the tub? >> i mean, if it's waterproof. >> jimmy: even at the circus? >> i mean, sure, if you want to, what if you lose it on a roller coaster. >> jimmy: even if your riding a unicorn in heaven? >> i would be hard to ride that and hold this. >> jimmy: okay, back to the cue cards. >> and you can read all jimmy kimmel's hilarious personal tweets. and best of all, it's free and available on the ipad, iphone and ipod touch. >> jimmy: how do we insta

. ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message from shell prepower premium gasoline.alking about the shell power fuel my passion sweepstakes. >> that's why i'm so happy to be involved. i'm very passionate about what i drive. on and off the track. >> what you're saying is i have a chance to win great prizes including free shell power if i upload a photo of me next to my favorite ride? >> that's right. >> wow. >> what the hell did you just say? >> don't you understand, tippy, by now -- understand my language -- >> oh, please, that ain't a language. get your hand off my leg. >> kiss me and make up. >> oh, please. >> you defied me like you always did. >> what are you talking about? you got the story all wrong. -- wrote the ticket out -- >> okay, okay, that's it. i can't handle it anymore. >> oh, where is the driver going? >> you know, you guys are crazy. >> you made him leave. >> no, you made him leave. >> visit www.shell.us/fuelmypassion for a chance to win up to five years of free shell v-power premium gas gasoline. maximum protection for optimal performance. back in tw

, jimmy. were doing shout outs. yo, can i do one? >> jimmy: yeah, you want to do a shout out? go ahead quest. >> questlove: absolutely. yeah. let me get some shout out music, please. ♪ all right. i want to get a shout out to getting involved in your community. [ scattered applause ] now, last night the roots had the pleasure of playing for obama's town hall here in new york, and it felt good to get involved and do our part. you should do the same, and if you don't get involved, you can't complain. all right? >> jimmy: hey, very good. good shout out. >> yeah, whatever. yeah, yeah, yeah. whatever, man. it's my turn. >> jimmy: go ahead. >> yo, shout out to sippy cups. [ cheers ] yeah. you know what i'm talking about. cute little plastic cups with cute little plastic liddy lids. it lets babies enjoy their drink with all the thrill and none of the spill, baby! [ cheers and applause ] >> shh. you hear that? that's the sound of no spill, son! [ light laughter ] so check yourself before you wet yourse

>> jimmy: yeah.'t think you do. i think this is just -- i don't know what friday the 13th is, actually. it's just a -- [ laughter ] >> well -- i -- i don't know where i heard that. >> jimmy: a little -- >> it's just a little -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my gosh. [ applause ] >> yeah. i normally don't say how much i spend on people, but that was $75,000. >> jimmy: and i can't believe -- >> i'm so embarrassed. >> jimmy: -- you would you get this for me. >> there's loose diamonds in the top. you can you see them kind of moving around. isn't that gorgeous? >> jimmy: i mean, i don't know how i can accept this, but i thank you so much for this. >> you're welcome. i bought, like, ten of those today. i'm so -- >> jimmy: you spent $750,000? >> yes, cause i thought -- someone told me -- i don't know. forget it. this is -- >> jimmy: no. i mean -- >> friday the 13th. it's like -- >> jimmy: no. you got all excited. it's not like a holiday. >> no? okay, well now i know. now i know. now i have to move out of my apartm

we do. >> jimmy: yeah. >> when we get spare time. >> jimmy: yeah.there. the actual deed is still to be done. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: such a legendary thing to say. "the thought is there. the deed has actually yet to be done." but, there's great pictures in this book. i mean this car, boy. he loves -- bluelina. >> bluelina. >> jimmy: come on. look at this -- a bentley. from what i know from the book -- this is a bentley car. >> still got it. >> jimmy: you still have it? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and it's made out of like german war parts. >> i wouldn't go that far. that was another car that i crashed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, it was a different one, yeah. but this guy -- >> i named this one after lena horne. >> jimmy: yes -- boy, oh, boy. did lena horne hold a lot of -- lot of drugs in this one. [ laughter ] and this is -- this is a very -- i mean, you hid a lot of stuff in it. >> it's got a large trunk. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, it's fantastic. and then this one, i just love because this just epitomizes rock 'n' roll. you coming off a private plane

. >> jimmy: good, yeah. stone. >> steve: that was fantastic. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] did you sigh this? an orchestra performed for passengers at the miami international airport on saturday. yeah, it was weird. when some guys went through the naked scanner, they were like -- [ sad tuba ] [ laughter ] come on. come on. >> steve: come on! [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you want a -- [ imitates "tah dah" chime ] yeah. >> steve: no, huh uh. [ sad tuba ] >> jimmy: all right. [ light laughter ] i hate these stupid security things. happy birthday to facebook ceo mark zuckerberg, turned 27 this weekend. i don't know about his party. it was fun to reconnect with old friends, but then everyone's parents showed up and made it weird. it was like -- [ laughter ] "facebook is for me, mom." and finally, a new survey found that 3% of american adults have sex once a day. while 97% of americans hate 3% of americans. [ laughter ] ladies and gentleman, we have a great show. give it up for the roots, right there! ♪ [ cheers and ap

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody.hanks for being here on this great, great night. welcome. oh, man, this arnold schwarzenegger story just keeps getting worse. there are now rumors that arnold had a second secret child with a different woman. i know. i can't believe arnold would cheat on his mistress like that. i just can't believe it. i won't believe it. [ laughter ] here's some political news. this week, president obama offered $1 billion to egypt to boost the creation of new jobs. and if that works, they're going to try it here. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] speaking of the middle east, nato air strikes sank eight of moammar gadhafi's war ships yesterday. there you go. they used a very advanced technique to sink his battle ships. b8, c8, d8, e8. [ laughter ] [ as gadhafi ] "oh, you sunk my battle ship, bro. very sneaky." [ applause ] that was connect 4. they play other games besides connect 4. they play battle ship. >> steve: exactly. >> jimmy: just two kids playing games. check this out. playboy is putting i

jimmy kimmel!and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for being here. merry apocalypse eve to every one of you here. the apocalypse -- tonight, really, may 21st is the day on which an evangelical radio broadcaster named harold camping has convinced his followers the apocalypse will begin. tomorrow. meanwhile, i checked the weather a half hour ago. we have maybe a 10% chance of apocalypse tomorrow. this guy says the apocalypse will start with a huge earthquake that will shake all the true believers up to heaven and leave everyone else down here. it's like god playing boggle. with our souls. what are the safety procedures during this? do you stand in a doorway? do you stop, drop and roll? i might just get naked and run around screaming at the top of my lungs. [ applause ] that's how i handle most emergencies. some people have actually quit their jobs in preparation for this. i saw family on the news, they totally bought into it. they sold

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you for watching. i'm jimmy.'m host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming out. i appreciate your enthusiasm. let me ask you, who's ready to p-a-r-t-y? [ applause ] i spelled it with an "i." i don't want to bring you down but the apocalypse is near. there are only nine more oprah shows until -- until we die i guess. we'll die, right, without her? today's oprah was her last ever makeover extravaganza. today was oprah's last ever mackover extravaganza. from here on out, we're on out own. they'll be makeovers. there won't be extravaganza. they'll be occasional vaganza but no extra vaganza. the mayor gave oprah her own street. it's called oprah winfrey way. it's going to be fun to give directions now. like take michigan avenue and hang a left on oprah. stay on oprah for about a mile. you can't miss it. oprah's already looking ahead to life after chicago. she told the chicago tribute she's planning to fulfill a lifelong dream by appearing on broadway. finally after 26 years of singing every guest's nam

>> jimmy: no. it's all good. >> does it hurt? >> jimmy: no, no.that's good. now, i want you to -- do me a small favor and say, "ah!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ah. ah. >> no. i want you to say, "ah" --! open up wide. >> jimmy: ah -- >> all right. yeah. your throat looks healthy and clear. very nice. now i'll go ahead and i'll test your reflexes. >> jimmy: okay. that sounds great. i appreciate that. >> yes. let me just go inside my medical bag here and grab my reflex hammer. >> jimmy: okay. >> should be right here. in my medical bag. that's where i keep my medical instruments. >> jimmy: okay. >> trying to locate my hammer, and then we're good to go. >> jimmy: okay. no problem. >> yes. let's see. where's the patellar hammer. i know it was in here somewhere. oh -- [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] oh -- shoot. i spilled the urine sample. >> jimmy: that's okay. >> i didn't mean to do that. oh, there's the hammer. >> jimmy: there's the hammer, right there. >> oopsy daisy. >> jimmy: a little slippery. you can just pick it up right there. >> well, i'm having som

. >>> x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@x@@ >>> >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word mio. from how it looks, to how it tastes, mio is a whole new way to have a drink that you personalize. it's like bedazzling your tongue. but why use terrible analogies to explain mio when it can be plained in song by the world's worst barbershop quartet! take it away! ♪ mio, mio, mio, mio oh, mio tastes good like your drink should ♪ ♪ six delicious flavors for your mouth to savor zero calories and it's sugar free ♪ ♪ all you have do is flip it tip it sip it! ♪ ♪ mio it's for me ♪ >> you taste really good mio. >> dickey: with 24 eight-ounce servings in every bottle, make it yours. make it mio. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with ginnif goodwin, music from zac brown band and chris o'donnell. [ cellphone vibrates ] hey baby, what's going on? [ ella ] happy anniversary! are we still on for tonight? yeah, of course. of course. [ laughs ] you remembered to make a reservation, right? yeah, i remembered that. the number one thing a man should remember. i'm gonna be there soon

jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! that's what i'm talking about right there. great crowd. new york city crowd. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." huge, huge news, you guys. president obama said he will not release the photo of osama bin laden's dead body. well, there goes my christmas card idea. [ laughter ] this is interesting. after osama bin laden's death on sunday there was a 1 million% increase in bin laden searches on google. [ laughter ] which means people are going, "yes, we got bin laden. hold on. who's that again?" [ laughter ] oh, yeah. yeah, that guy. yeah, yeah. yeah, i know him. good, we got him. listen to this, you guys. cleveland indians outfielder, shin-soo choo was arrest this week for drunk driving. they let him go when they realized he wasn't drunk. he was just introducing himself. [ laughter ] shin-soo choo. shin-soo choo. i'm just saying my

>> justin. >> jimmy: justin. >> bryan. >> jimmy: bryan. >> david. >> jimmy: very, very good.guys ready to play some "doll posing"? >> oh yeah. >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: all right, let's do it. here's how it works. [ cheers and applause ] tiny doll hidden inside here. when it's your turn, i will show you the doll for five seconds. you have to make a mental note of what it's wearing, how it's posed and what its facial expression is. you will then have 30 seconds to pull props from a bin, put them on and then, when you hear this sound -- [ baby crying ] you have to look right into that two-way mirror and strike your doll pose. okay? the contestant whose pose looks most like the doll wins the grand prize. any questions? very good. higgins, what are they playing for tonight? >> jimmy, tonight's "doll posing" winner will receive $100 and that's not all. they will also get to take home tonight's doll. ♪ jimmy >> jimmy: -- you can join me over here and just so you guys don't cheat and look at the doll before it is your turn, we're gonna have you put on these domes of silence. [ laughter

>> jimmy: yours is in blue. >> i'm pleased to introduce the "jimmy kimmel live" app. >> jimmy: and we are pleased to have you. tell us about the ap features. >> jimmy: with this app, you can watch video on the go. >> jimmy: in the tub? >> if it's waterproof. >> jimmy: at the circus? >> i mean, sure if you want to -- what if you lose it on a roller coaster. >> jimmy: even if you are riding a unicorn in heaven? >> a unicorn? it would be hard to ride and hold this at the same time. >> jimmy: okay, back to the cue cards. >> and you can read all of jimmy kimmel's hilarious personal tweets. and best of all, it's free and available on ipad and iphone and ipod touch. >> jimmy: how do we install it? >> jimmy: >> go to the itunes store and type your name -- >> jimmy: whose name? >> jimmy kimmel, duh. then click the free install button and wait for it to download. >> jimmy: wow, it's so easy, ooichb i can do. thanks, katie. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" app. available exclusively at the apple app store. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with anthony hopkins. andre agassi. and from "da

>> jimmy: yes. [ laughter ] >> danny tenson. >> jimmy: danny tenson, yeah. >> jimmy: now -- oh, thisexception to that. and chris traeger, his character, says, "well, ron, have you ever tried a turkey burger?" and ron says, "is that deep fried turkey leg inside a beef burger? if so, yes. delicious." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is not what a turkey burger is though. >> well -- let the audience be the judge of that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: everyone agrees with me. that is not what a turkey burger is. >> well -- so, somebody online at eater.com -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. the great food blog. >> -- made this turkey burger, the ron swanson turkey burger. >> jimmy: they put a turkey leg in a burger -- >> that's right. >> jimmy: -- and made an actual giant burger. and so, you did it backstage tonight. >> i did. i showed up early to prepare the ron swanson turkey burger for everybody to see. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: well, we actually -- we have one here. would you like to try it? >> sure, yeah. i'll take a crack at it. >> jimmy: this is it right here. [ laughter ] >> maya: are you serious? >> it's fiv

>> jimmy: all right.t, you can find out what that is? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and that's how you guys met? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's not anything dirty or anything, is it? >> no. no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, good. now look. now, you just saw the game. you guys think you guys can hack it? >> we definitely can. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, okay good. now, let's find out who will be doing the spitting and who will be spat upon. can we bring out the die please? thank you. i need a representative? it looks like you're jumping to grab the die, right? sorry. if you've decided, go for it. [ drum roll ] you will be receiving. [ audience ohs ] [ sad tuba ] you will be receiving. you stand over there. come on over here, buddy. all right, that's the joke for you. and you -- here's your champagne. thank you so much. okay. now, here's the deal. take a good swig. hold as much as you can there, in your mouth and you read your joke. wait till he finishes the joke, then -- come on, you can fit more than that. [ light laughter ]

let's never forget that. >> thanks jimmy. >> jimmy: thanks guys.wonder where the durango's been for the last two years? it toured around europe, getting handling and steering lessons on those sporty european roads. it went back to school got an advanced degree in technology. it's been working out -- more muscle and less fat. it's done more in two years than most cars do in a lifetime. now lease the all-new 2011 dodge durango express all-wheel-drive for $359 a month for well-qualified lessees. losing power shouldn't mean losing time. the nextec quickboost. giving you a charge in just 3 minutes, getting you back to work faster. craftsman. trust. in your hands. / now hard-to-reach is never out-of-reach. the next generation craftsman ammerhead. it's an auohammer but the only one with an articulating head for superior access. get a free drill with purchase of one of these 12-volt tools. craftsman. trust. in your hands. if you don't have an iphone, you don't have the app store so you don't have the world's largest selection of apps, that are this easy to

in one of yours. >> jimmy: in the jimmy book club.p the publisher, you got any yo yos? >> jimmy: just do a quick goingogle search. >> yeah. >> jimmy: tell us the title of the book. "unfamiliar fishes." why is it about that? >> it's about americans kind of taking over hawaii and that phrase comes from this hawaiian guy in the middle of the 19th century who is fed up with the white people showing up in hordes and taking over his island. he wrote this letter to his friend says when a big wave comes in large and unfamiliar fishes come from the dark sea and when they see the small fishes in the shallows they will eat them up. mean meaning, like, the white people are going to devour the hawaiians. which happened. >> jimmy: i had no idea i thought they said, hey, you know, we'd love to be apart of the country. i didn't know we just went over there and decided to take them. >> that is a very american attitude. yeah. it turns out there are a lot of hawaiians who still don't think of themselves as americans, don't want to be american and would

jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy?guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! oh, it's going to be a great night. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hope you're feeling great. we're going to have fun tonight. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be good. it's going to be a fun night. hey, guys, listen to this. one of sarah palin's supporters is about to release a documentary about her called "the undefeated." really? "the undefeated?" [ laughter ] that's like a documentary about arnold schwarzenegger called "the faithful." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's right. someone made a two-hour documentary about sarah palin's political life. in case you're interested in watching a movie that's longer than palin's actual political life. speaking of the palins, in a new interview, bristol palin says s