that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, i'm so -- >> i got to tell you i'm a little nervous. >> jimmy: oh, here, man. >> jason: yeah, of course. >> jimmy: now, walter, have you done a lot of acting before this movie? >> well, you know, it's funny you should ask that. actually the way that they found me is i was swimming laps at the beverly hills hilton -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and this guy comes up and he says, "hey, have you ever considered acting?" and i was like, "no." you know, all i was considering, really, is how i was going to get away with swimming in this pool when i'm not a guest. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. exactly. of course. now, was walter your first choice, jason, when you cast him? >> jason: walter was -- >> i was his first choice. >> jason: close to my first choice. >> what? >> jimmy: who was your -- >> my first choice was michael cera. >> jimmy: but wait a second. [ laughter ] he's not a -- michael cera's not a muppet. he's a -- >> jason: this wasn't even originally a muppet movie. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: walter, but you're a big fan of the mupp

>> yeah. >> jimmy: oh wait. >> "the dictator." >> jimmy: "the dictator." >> just finished it. >> jimmyt extraordinary? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it is very interesting that we both say "tomahto." yeah. i shouldn't, yeah, 'cause i'm from new york. that's weird. i want to show everyone a clip from the movie "hugo," with the great ben kingsley. it's in -- the night before thanksgiving. "hugo." ♪ >> fix it. >> i know you've been stealing parts from the shop. might as well use those you haven't stolen yet. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> you've got a bit of talent. >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] he's really impressed. you are the man. "hugo" is in theaters next wednesday. do not miss it. sir ben kingsley. we'll talk to felicity jones after the break. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cellphone rings ] cut! [ monica ] i have a small part in a big movie. i thought we'd be on location for 3 days, it's been 3 weeks. so, i used my citi simplicity card to pick up a few things. and i don't have to worry about a late fee. which is good... no! bigger! bigger! [ monica ] ...because i don't think we're going anywher

jimmy kimmel -- >> -- the two jimmy's, yes. >> jimmy: -- yeah.ck, and we're about to go on -- and next to the back stage they had like a monitor showing like the order -- rundown of the show. >> mm-hmm. >> so they have jane's opening. it says "jane's musical opening" -- and then next is j. kimmel/j. fason. [ laughter ] f-a-f-o-n. and jimmy pointed, he goes, "look at that, they misspelled your name." i hosted last year! i hosted the show. >> i know. >> jimmy: utter disrespect. >> i will find out, and heads will roll. >> jimmy: j. fafon. [ laughter ] it was unbelievable. but, you did a great job with that. >> oh, thank -- thank you. >> jimmy: congrats on "happy accident." >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wrote a memoir. it's very good. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what made you -- what made you decide to write a memoir? >> i don't know that i decided to do that. it was kind of a "happy accident," if you will. i had written a bunch of speeches for different organizations and -- and like hrc, and a bunch of gay organizations. and

>> jimmy: my partner here -- thank you, my name is jimmy. >> steve: thank you. >> jimmy: this is -- thism your host. steve higgins. the rules of the game are very simple. i will give each of you a password. and then each of you are to give a one-word clue. one-word only to get your partner to guess the password. the scoring starts at six points. we take away one for each time it passes. you have five seconds to guess each time. remember, no part or form of the password can be used. and if a clue is illegal by our judges, you'll hear this. [ buzzer ] and you'll forfeit your turn. and the player with the most points -- still talking. guess what they do. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: they win. >> jimmy: there you go. >> steve: any questions? great. all, right. first word, betty and jimmy, we're going to start with you. >> jimmy: betty. >> okay. >> the password is -- >> can i show my partner? >> steve: no, that's against the rules. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she knew that. she knew that. >> okay. >> steve: start with you, betty. >> start with me. all righty. good luck, sweetheart. needle. >> thread.

thank you. >> no, i love jimmy. you know, jimmy. i love jimmy.rote that for me. it's a joke. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i really did. now, how was -- i know, in canada -- i was going to say, "happy thanksgiving." >> well, happy thanksgiving to you. yeah. >> jimmy: but in canada, it's already -- >> yeah, it's happened. >> jimmy: it's already done. >> well, no. we have our thanksgiving. >> jimmy: when is thanksgiving? >> around july. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] christmas in april. which is followed -- is one week after halloween. and we do our traditions different. we stuff our turkey through the beak. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? is that how you -- i've never seen -- yeah. i've only been there once so i don't really know. >> eight football teams, two called "rough-riders," it's a different -- >> jimmy: it's a different kind of -- [ light laughter ] i always -- i tell everyone every time i see anyone, i say, "the funniest man on earth, martin short" and everyone agrees. because you are the funniest human on earth. [ cheers ] they know how to tak

i got my --" >> jimmy: you're like, "jimmy, yeah, yeah, you shot it, jimmy. me back to my room. it was just sad. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, now we got to talk about "j. edgar." >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is -- this is phenomenal. this is leonardo dicaprio. you and leonardo -- what is the movie about, really? >> well, it's the story of j. edgar hoover and sort of the inception of the fbi. where it started, how -- you know -- >> jimmy: and he started the fbi. >> he did. yeah, he was the driving force behind the creation of that thing. and he was with it for 50 years, through eight presidents. i mean, he was in control for a long time. so it was really his baby, and it just sort of chronicles that. >> jimmy: and directed by clint eastwood. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, come on, how do you wrong there? that guy's just -- >> you can't. >> jimmy: oh, he's the coolest. he's like -- >> he scares wrong away. like, that's why you can't go wrong with clint eastwood. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he arrives with a gun in his car. [ imitates gun shots ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimm

>> ooh, jimmy -- >> jimmy: there's a movie, a great movie. >> no, you didn't. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, bill, you're going to love this. we have a clip of it. you're really going to love it. check out "pizza man," you guys. it's pretty good. >> don't you know how to dance? what's the matter elmo, been delivering pizzas too long? don't your feet work? >> babe, i could dance you in half. >> prove it. ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] >> jimmy: there you go! [ cheers and applause ] more with bill maher, when we get back, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i'll have the yellow tail, i'll have the yellow tail. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] joker's wild. [ female announcer ] i just love that kangaroo. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time, for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. ♪ [ male announcer ] it's movie time. with a wii twist. netfl

i love it. >> seven. >> jimmy: seven. >> two. >> jimmy: seven and two. okay. that definitely doesn't look like $100. but that one might be. [ laughter ] he can barely hold it up. let him have it, you guys. [ sad tuba ] nope. [ audience ohs ] >> no. oh, god. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. [ laughter ] very good. that was baked beans and apple cider? what was that over here? >> steve: mashed potatoes again. >> jimmy: good job. >> steve: mashed potatoes. >> jimmy: i love mashed potatoes. all right. go for it. it's down to the last one. [ drum roll ] >> eight. >> one. >> jimmy: eight and one. you're talking about teresa and nina. ♪ teresa >> and -- ♪ nina >> jimmy: let them have it, guys. [ sad tuba ] [ audience ohs ] >> okay. all right. i'll take that. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that is -- glittery confetti and gravy. boy, i really hope you win something. i really do. [ laughter ] [ drum roll ] go for it. one of these two is the winner. >> nine. >> six. >> jimmy: there you go. kenzie and audrey. ♪ kenzie >> and -- ♪ audrey >> jimmy: one of these has the winning bucke

jimmy: yeah. brisket, for sounding like either a manly biscuit or a bitchy triscuit. [ laughter ] that's an old school joke. i don't even know that means even. >> steve: yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: i don't even get that. [ laughter ] ♪ triscuit but it's funny. i don't know why. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, frosted glass, for letting me see just enough to get the gist of what's behind you. you're like the scrambled porn channel of windows. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] what -- you okay, johnny? what happened? what happened? >> jokes are killing me. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the jokes are killing you. very good. [ light laughter ] >> steve: stool. >> jimmy: yeah, loose stool over there. >> steve: loose stool. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> i love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: i love you, too. [ laughter ] ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, three-hole punches, or as i like to call you, confetti maker. [ cheers and applause ] i like those things. ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, pl

they're good. >> hey, jimmy. hey, jimmy. let me do one. >> jimmy: okay. >> can i do one?od ahead. >> shout out to my cat brum. [ laughter ] today's his birthday. i love him so much. i know he's watching this at home. can i tell him something? >> jimmy: uh, yeah. go ahead. >> okay. [ light laughter ] hey, brum. hey, there. hey, brum-ster. hope you're having a good birthday. i love you so much, brum. hey, brum. get down. get off the couch. brum, brum, you get down there right now. brum, stop misbehaving! damn it, brum! get down now! damn it! what are you doing? what the hell are you doing? what's wrong with you? ha-ha. [ laughter ] sorry, jimmy. you know, brum's always up to no good. >> jimmy: well, it is his birthday, so -- >> yo, i'm next, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay. tariq, go for it, buddy. >> all right. shout out to the month of november. yeah, i love november, man. i'm talking ice skating at rockefeller center, thanksgiving with the family, and getting my christmas shopping done. but the day after thanksgiving, it's time to let mexico meet the mayflower with these tasty tur

"jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: michele bachmann says she won't rest until obama care is repealed. or until she kidnaps all 101 dalmatians. >> dicky: kristen stewart. >> in this movie, you get married and have sex and have a baby in a span of 20 minutes. >> dicky: the stars of our halloween candy prank, c.j. and jake. jon bernthal and music from >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a message from applebee's neighborhood grill and bar. tomorrow is veterans day and applebee's is showing their appreciation for servicemen and women with a free meal. show your thanks to our 24 million veterans and active military who serve our country by sending them a personal message at thank you movement.com and here is rodney at kins with his new pal guillermo with more. ♪ i'm here with guillermo ♪ with a song for all you vets ♪ we want to say gracias ♪ because you guys are the best ♪ ♪ on this veterans day ♪ you're gonna be treated like a star ♪ ♪ you can eat for free at applebee's neighborhood grill and bar ♪ ♪ so happy veterans day ♪ army navy air force and marines ♪ ♪ applebee's is feeding steak,

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome. we're going to have fun tonight. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be good. it's going to be a fun show. hey, this is cool, you guys. last night, president obama had dinner with a u.s. postal worker who won a contest to meet him. and the mailman was like, "wow, someone who takes longer to deliver than i do." [ laughter and applause ] it was a long meal. every time obama tried to pass the salt, it got rejected by republicans. it was just weird. it was like -- [ laughter ] did you hear guys hear about this? two lawmakers in new york have proposed a bill that would make it a felony to sell fake maple syrup and label it as the real thing. [ light laughter ] or as one confused occupy wall street protester put it, "we did it! what?" [ laughter

cornelius and zira. >> jimmy: cornelius. >> and dr. zaius. >> jimmy: dr.id, "his destiny." [ laughter ] "i'm not saying all humans are bad. [ laughter ] simply cause they are skin is white." [ laughter ] "the only good human is a dead human." so i grew up on that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you got to do a one man show -- you got to do a one man show on broadway. i want you to do that. you got such a range, my man. i'm so happy for you, i'm so proud of you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're doing movies with al pacino and all this stuff. i want to show everyone a clip of this drama you have out. it's out this weekend. it's tracy morgan in "the son of no one." check this out. >> vinnie. you got something you want to say to me? >> you never told nobody. why you never told nobody? 'cause you was my friend? you still my friend? >> i couldn't talk. >> but you did talk. you did talk. you said you weren't going to say nothin' to nobody. >> you said you weren't gonna tell nobody. >> i knew you were too good. >> jimmy: oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:

just find the entry code that's included, and enter it online. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah? >> ever since i was a small boy growing up in mexico, i have had only one dream. to be a contestant on "wipeout." >> jimmy: well, that seems weird since the show's only been on for four seasons -- >> do not make fun of my dream! >> jimmy: it also seems weird considering the fact that you've already been on "wipeout." remember? >> oh, [ bleep ]. oh [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: do you remember ththa now guillermo? >> yes, now i remember. i think i got hit on the head. >> jimmy: yeah, probably. >> dicky: get "wipeout 2" for your chance to compete for $50,000. and check out the all-new winter wipeout christmas special on thursday, december 8th at 8:00/7:00 central on abc. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with dana delany, the winner of "dancing with the stars," music from nickelback and david beckham. [ male announcer ] only rogaine® foam is shown to regrow hair in 85% of guys. i'm like, "hey look at me. it's working." [ male announcer ] go to rogainefoam.com and you can get " a

>> jimmy: no.th nominated. >> jimmy: you got nominated for people's choice! >> people's choice nominees! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you totally deserve it because you work so hard. and gosh, four specials, i mean, good for you. >> and for "my life on the d list." and, but here's the irony. i am literally up against kim kardashian. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! a war is on, you guys. >> a war is on, people. >> jimmy: a war is on, get ready, buckle up. >> this guy's up as well. you deserve it. >> jimmy: it's gonna be good. kathy griffin -- >> we want the people to choose us. choose us, people. >> jimmy: people just choose you. people will choose you. [ cheers and applause ] they've already chose you. you're amazing. hey, do you want to stick around and play a game? >> i'd love to. >> jimmy: it'd be super fun. kathy griffin and i are going to play a game after the break. stick around, pictionary! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'd race down that hill without a helmet. i took some steep risks in my te

>> jimmy: yeah.pe. >> hard-boiled eggs. >> jimmy: no, vlasic. dill -- >> dill egg? dill. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a type of -- like a kosher -- a sweet and sour. >> chicken? chicken egg? >> jimmy: no, no, first word, first word. >> chicken. no, egg. >> jimmy: second one, yes. first word is a different word. it's, like, something that you do. it's green things, cucumber! >> egg salad? >> jimmy: a dill cucumber! >> egg pickle. egg pickle salad? [ buzzer sounds ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so close. [ laughter ] pickled eggs. >> i've never heard of a pickled egg. >> jimmy: but you've heard of egg pickle salad? i mean, it's the same thing. well, we lost, but i would like to just see you go again. i'm so sorry. i was not good at giving clues. sorry, emily. >> that is really strange. that doesn't really exist, does it? >> jimmy: let's just say it doesn't, sure. >> thanks for trying to make me feel better. >> jimmy: hey, we're bffs. >> but we're also friends. should we start again? >> jimmy: yeah, go f

>> jimmy: me, too. jimmy: i actually wanted to be a priest as well. >> right, wow. >> jimmy: yeah. >> how come you didn't go? >> jimmy: i think i just hit puberty, and -- >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> see, i was late. i was late. i was late by a year. i decided to go. i just turned 14. so, i went. and, by the time i hit 15, when i was there, it was like, "whoa, this is not the place to be." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so, i went in to quit. and, to the priest, to father dewiki, and he said -- before i got a chance to say anything, he just blurted out, "we'd like to ask you to leave." [ laughter ] i thought, wait a minute, you can't fire me. i quit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what a weird conversation between -- yeah. >> and he said that he would pray for those who would have to endure me later in life. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: thank you. well, that's pretty cool. yeah. >> he didn't say enough prayers. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. activism kind of started young for you. you were the youngest elected official in the u.s.

and music from thompson square. >> jimmy: how can i not find a hershey bar >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word from cars.com, the place to shop confidently with a wide selection of new and used vehicles, side-by-side comparisons, consumer and expert vehicle reviews, and tools to make sure you get the right car at the right price. why, just the other day, i was -- [ door bell ] oh, excuse me. i wonder who that could be. come in. oh, look at this. it's yehya. hi, yehya. >> hello, jimmy. >> jimmy: hello. >> i need mustard. >> jimmy: what? >> i need mustard. this weekend, i'm going to tailgating to san francisco. >> jimmy: you need mustard? >> yeah, please. >> jimmy: i happen to have some right here. there you go. sounds fun. >> can i get your car, too? >> jimmy: you want my car? why do you want my car? >> so i go to san francisco. >> jimmy: well, you know, i might need my car over the weekend. why don't you go to cars.com and find a car there? >> okay. >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> okay? >> jimmy: thank you. >> dicky: visit cars.com for a chance to win one of our top prize tailgating

>> i'm good, jimmy. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> heather. >> jimmy: who did you unfriend?> a friend of mine from college. >> jimmy: who is the friend? >> susan. >> jimmy: why did you unfriend her? >> well, she's not only on there every two minutes, but she likes to talk about everything, bodily functions that are not really that interesting, like, constipated, especially during labor, she was in the bed in the hospital -- >> jimmy: all right. thank you, cousin sal. [ applause ] what are you going to do? and -- [ laughter ] it was probably for the best. one more thing. potentially very big news for the very big -- researchers in maryland are reportedly developing a drug that will make you able to lose weight without dieting or exercise. it's called crystal meth and -- [ laughter ] no, i don't know -- [ laughter ] the trials for the drug have gone well so far. though, up to this point, they have only been conducted on monkeys. and for some reason, this drug is being marketed at money ke s monkeys, too. >> are you having a hard time shedding those extra pounds? tried exercise

jimmy kimmel, no. >> jimmy: i was not invited. >> no, of course. >> jimmy: diane sawyer was there, donaldse. john mcenroe was there. >> mcenroe, they all came to pay homage to regis. >> jimmy: they sure did. i want to ask you about something, first of all, i want to congratulate you for -- this is perhaps the biggest thing, on the cover of the dean martin fan club newsletter. >> it comes out every month. >> jimmy: every month. >> yes. you have been up to my dressing room. a little thing of dean -- >> jimmy: i bought you this dean puppet. you probably got ten of them. i bought you one just like this. >> i'm look at your lair and your eyebrows, i see a lot of dean here. >> >> jimmy: i'm a regular dino. >> i got him playing in my dressing room all -- >> jimmy: what's going on with all the crap? >> you got to get it all out of there. >> jimmy: you have got it looks like hoarders in there. how many pens does regis need? >> you're absolutely right, 28 years of storing stuff. people who send you things, you don't want to throw it away. you put it away and keep it and now it comes time to get out

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola.one. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. we should be thankful to be alive right now. are we alive? i guess we don't really know, do we? a few hours ago, an asteroid bigger than an aircraft carrier passed inside the orbit of the moon. a 1,300-foot wide rock just missed the earth and not a single one of us even looked up from our cell phones to see it. we only care about flying objects when they're angry birds. [ laughter ] the asteroid missed the earth, fortunately, but the president had bruce willis, michael bay and aerosmith standing by just in case. it came within 200,000 miles of us, which is -- it's close enough for anyone with a medium-sized telescope to get a look at it but not close enough to be groped by herman cain. herman cain had another big day today. he held a press conference in phoenix to address the sexual harassment charges that are multiplying like gremlins lately. he was defiant, he was angry and he even got emotional.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow! that's a crowd right there! the energy. thank you so much, everybody! welcome. it's going to be a fun show tonight. wow, it's a hot one. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. here is -- [ cheers and applause ] a big show tonight. yeah, you feel it. you feel it. here's some election news, you guys. this week, mitt romney's campaign sent out automated phone calls saying that rick perry is too soft on immigration. yeah. the call was like, "for english, press one." [ laughter ] "para espanol, go talk to your buddy, rick perry." [ laughter ] "you love him so much." [ light laughter ] this is pretty interesting, you guys. google announced that it is changing its search formula to make results more current. yeah, you can tell if their results are a bit out of date. this morning i googled kim kardashian, and it was like, "do you

jimmy kimmel is next. good night, america. >> dicky: tonight on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: the guy you met standing in line for the bathroom at a jimmy buffet conce concert? he's not your friend. >> dicky: tim allen. >> jimmy: your daughters are far apart. >> one is 21, one is 2 1/2. i don't like sex that much. >> dicky: jackson bath rathbone. >> during labor, she was in the bed at t e >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel for the completely-redesigned ford escape, which was unveiled last night right across the street from us here on hollywood boulevard. now until friday, ford is sponsoring the world's largest "words with friends" game and our favorite car and spelling enthusiast, guillermo, was there. >> wow! look! words with friends. i love that game! brought to me by the new ford escape. come on, let's go. i want to play the game. wow! >> all right, everybody, i need a volunteer to play words with friends. >> pick me! >> okay, come on up. how are you doing? >> great. >> if you can guess the wo

>> jimmy: i guess. though. >> yeah. >> jimmy: right? >> i -- >> jimmy: cleto was one of mine. >> yes, well -- [ applause ] i may be rethinking my strategy. he wants to study music, but not like, classical music, like, guitar, like, rock. >> jimmy: yeah, you need to go to college for that. >> did you guys go to college for that? they did. you did. >> jimmy: cleto did, kind of. >> cleto: i didn't, really. they did. >> jimmy: all the great rock stars went to college. >> i don't want him to be a rock star, though. >> jimmy: what do you want him to be, like, a band teacher? >> that would be better. >> jimmy: what about your 16-year-old son? >> he, well, he just got his driver's license. >> jimmy: is that good? >> i mean, it makes my life easier. >> jimmy: okay, good, yeah. do you get nervous when he drives off on his own? >> he has to drive out in rush hour in the morning but the traffic moves really slowly then. that's not so bad. but it's the other drivers, to me, that are so scary, i mean, i've had some i

> jimmy: yeah.retty cool. i mean, we all were here. [ cheers and applause ] >> i asked who was going to be on the show, and they told me, they said mystery guest. and it couldn't have been a better mystery guest. >> jimmy: it's up there -- it couldn't be better. >> couldn't be better. >> jimmy: could be anyone. but it wasn't, it was them. >> yeah. it was them, yes. >> jimmy: when you see them live, like, you know -- in new york or wherever they pop up, they don't -- they don't go by a name. >> no, they don't go by a name. >> jimmy: so that's what makes them great. >> i know. i don't even know how you guys found them. [ laughter ] how did you? >> jimmy: you know what, they were over at "dr. oz" across the hallway. >> you're kidding me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they were there. i said, "are you guys the guys that do 'the turkey stuffing song?'" and they -- the one guy was dressed like a pilgrim. he was in his disguise. >> yeah. oh. >> jimmy: yeah, he had a -- he had a -- he had a -- richard nixon mask o

jimmy fallern. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay.right. >> computer: you say tomato, i say tomato. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, well, we just want to get to know you a little bit. are you currently dating anyone? >> computer: yes, her name is scarlett johansson. >> jimmy: the scarlett johansson? >> computer: no, that was a joke, do you get it, ha ha ha ha ha ha. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i get that, it's pretty funny. how about -- what about food? do you have a favorite food? >> computer: natchos. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nachos? >> computer: yes. natchos. i love natchos. with cheese, sour cream and jollypenas. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that does sound pretty good, actually. [ phone ringing ] what? >> computer: oh, excuse me, jimmy. i have to take this. hello? yes? yes? yes? yes? yes? yes? bye. >> jimmy: who was that? >> computer: none of your biznass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. let's get back to the interview. do you have a favorite band? >> computer: black eye pea. >> jimmy: the black eyed peas? >> computer: black eye pea. my

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!heers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! thank you very much! it means a lot to me, you guys. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hey, some political news. president obama just went to the g-20 summit to give europe advice on its debt crisis. [ laughter ] wait, europe is getting economic advice from obama? that's like j. lo getting marriage advice from kim kardashian. [ laughter ] that doesn't make it wise. [ audience ohs ] why would you -- no. did you see this? president obama bumped chinese president hu jintao from the number one spot on "forbes" list of the world's most powerful people. yeah, it was awkward, though. obama wanted to buy a copy of the magazine, but he had to borrow five bucks from hu jintao. [ laughter and applause ] [ as obama ] "you got any money? can i have some more money? you got any money?" hey, you guys, this sund

[ applause ] >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi, chris. you've got a -- well, it says superman on your jersey. you have the whole thing going. >> yes, i do. all my clothes have something to do with superman. >> jimmy: and well they should. all right. well, thank you very much, chris. >> you're welcome. [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right, who do we have next? we've got -- >> hi, i'm spongebob! >> jimmy: that's our friend spongebob. and let's now meet the man behind the sponge. [ applause ] your name is not bob, correct? >> yeah. it's not. >> jimmy: introduce yourself. >> my name is bernard golden. >> jimmy: bernard golden and his costume is golden. isn't that interesting? do you feel naked when you're not encased in a block of yellow foam? >> i sure do, you know. i feel real naked. >> jimmy: all right, all right. thanks. pretty normal. who is next? who do we have? >> my name is the incredible hulk! >> jimmy: okay. that's the incredible hulk. and let's meet the incredible hulk in real life. what's your name? >> i'm joe mcqueen as the incredibl

jimmy. >> jimmy: so sorry, you guys. so sorry.: yeah. all right. you happy? you psyched? >> mm-hmm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you going to do with it? >> i -- i have no idea. >> jimmy: yeah. take a guess. >> door mat. door mat. >> jimmy: fantastic, yeah, yeah, yeah. or you can frame it. >> oh, that's true. >> jimmy: i'm just kidding. we're going to give you that gift certificate. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that is all the time we have. we'll see you all next time on "wheel of carpet samples." we'll be right back with heidi klum, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ all ] trick-or-treat! aren't you a little, like, old to be trick-or-treating? [ robotic voice ] it is a growth spurt. fair enough. [ male announcer ] you're never too old for a smooth, delicious milky way caramel. too old for a smooth, not bad..only two meetings what's mytoday.ook like? can i walk to the belvedere hotel from here? here are directions to belvedere hotel. read me that text. new message from sarah russell:'see you soon' do you think it will snow tod

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you.i, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for meeting me here on such short notice. i don't feel like making jokes tonight. who is ready to cry their eyes out tonight? come on. all right. there were a lot of tears today in justin bieber-ville. have you heard of justin bieber the kid with the muppet on his head? a 20-year-old woman named mariah has filed a lawsuit claiming that justin bieber is the father of her 3-month-old son. it's his first paternity suit, they grow up so fast. [ laughter ] she claims she took his virgin si last year. she was 19. he was 16. so, in other words, if this did happen, she committed sach toir rape and would like to be paid for it. she's seeking child support and wants justin to scientifically confirm that he is the dad and by scientifically confirm, she means go on the maury povich show with her. here's a photograph of mariah, by the way. you can see the toilet really brings out the crazy in her eyes. 3 billion women in the world,