[ cheers and applause ] s >> jimmy: oh my god. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: ay caramba. come on. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> you should have brooklyn on yours too. >> jimmy: i was born in brooklyn, but yeah i was raised in -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're brooklyn. brooklyn versus -- [ inaudible ] >> steve: -- manhasset. >> jimmy: absolutely. >> oh yeah. >> jimmy: neil it's good to see you, buddy. thank you for joining us. >> thank you. >> steve: i will give each of you a password. >> jimmy: mhm. >> steve: then you are to give a one-word clue, one word only, to get your partner to guess the password. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: if the clue is illegal as determines by our judges you shall hear this. [ buzzer ] now the team with the most points after four questions, wins. now, any questions? >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: great. first clue goes to jimmy and natalie. we got this -- >> steve: the password is -- >> jimmy: -- by the way. >> steve: jimmy. >> jimmy: why don't we start us off? ready? >> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laug

good. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and jimmy, think of, think jimmy, think of any one of those cards. >> jimmy: oh, man. >> think of any one of those cards. >> jimmy: that one's too obvious. oh, man. all right. i'm thinking of it. >> and jimmy, look at me. good. >> jimmy: oh my god. don't freak me out, man. [ laughter ] >> put the cards behind your back. and jimmy, mix them. i'm freaking out, man. [ laughter ] >> now, jimmy, i want you to look at the five cards again, look at all of your cards. don't let anybody see them, just you. look at all of them, just you see them. good. jimmy, i want you to focus on every other card except for your card. >> jimmy: okay. >> now, see, what's funny is when i say that, it makes him just focus on his card. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is true. okay. >> right. >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy, repeat after me. >> jimmy: yes. >> say, "ace, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king." go ahead, right now. >> jimmy: ace, two, three, four, five, six, seven eight, nine, ten, jack, queen, king. >> good. "clubs, hearts, spades, diamonds." >> jimmy

>> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we have a photo from the wedding. >> yes. >> jimmyn the original "star wars" that almost goes with uncle owen and luke, and then he breaks down, and then, they get r2d2. so this is the almost famous of "star wars," and so i've always appreciated him for that. i relate to him. so in our wedding, he was the ring bearer, and he gets two-thirds down the aisle and, he breaks down. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: breaks down, yeah, yeah. you are a real nerd. this is fantastic. >> so, to the extent where i actually e-mailed mark hamill, and i was like, "would you show up at my wedding and go, 'oh, this one had a bad motivator," and take it away?" and of course, he never responded. >> jimmy: he never responded, of course. >> and then all these jawas jump out, and then, i wrestle with them. and then they -- i get the ring, and they take the droid away. so, these -- these were the jawas. >> jimmy: so this really happened at your wedding? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you wrestled jawas? [ laughter ] >> yeah, real jawas, 100% real jawas. >> jimmy: you are the

>> i'm great, jimmy, how are you? >> jimmy: doing great. work. i work in a basement, and i was just about to fold clothes for six hours. and then you guys saved me, so i'm very, very happy to say the least. so -- [ laughter ] i'm not kidding. >> jimmy: alex, are you going to be in a basement for six hours? alex, can you look in the camera? can you blink three times if you're being held hostage? [ laughter ] you're not being held -- everything's cool. all right, so, do you need the backpack for this talent? we can put it down. you're good. we're good. >> jimmy: no, whatever you feel like doing. something with your hands. is it magic? >> it's cold out here. if i stand out here any longer, i can cut diamonds. it's freezing. it's cold. >> steve: hey oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is your -- what's your talent? >> i sing. >> jimmy: hey, very nice. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're a singer. well, let's -- let's see it. let's hear it. this is fantastic. yeah. last night with you hold me like i'm more than just a friend ? ? give me a memory i can use ? >> jimmy

>> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: amy adams, "arrival" opens in theaters everywhere friday. "nocturnal animals" opens in select cities november 18th. joe buck joins us after the break. stay with us, everybody. you totaled your brand new car. it comes when your insurance company says they'll only pay three-quarters of what it takes to replace it. what are you supposed to do? drive three-quarters of a car? now if you had liberty mutual new car replacement?, you'd get your whole car back. i guess they don't want you driving around on three wheels. smart. with liberty mutual new car replacement?, we'll replace the full value of your car. liberty stands with you?. liberty mutual insurance. there's no one i'd rather hit the road with. no one i'd rather have dinner and a movie with. no one i'd rather lean on. being in love is an amazing thing. being in love with your best friend... ...is everything. one diamond for your best friend... one for your true love. for the one woman in your life wh

>> jimmy: all you have to do is go to jimmy fallon. we only have 39 left, you guys. [ laughter ] what's that? oh, we have 38 left, and they're all numbered and >> jimmy: the christmas spirit. it's not like you need that. i mean, but that will be so -- >> yeah, that's really nice. thank you. >> jimmy: it's really cute for you. this is a super fun time. i know i'mxcited for you, but t. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's going to be fantastic. looked like her, i mean, because -- >> yeah, i don't particularly look like her either. but when the thing that is remarkable is that when you put the wig on, like -- >> jimmy: that's it. >> everyone could look like yeah, no. >> so, it's so iconic. >> jimmy: but you have the voice down too. >> oh, thank you. >> jimmy: ye, i mean, was that something that you can go, like, "oh, good. that's catchy." the talk and walk and hall- >> jimmy: that's so good. >> i can go there easily. but then, she has this, like, fancy thing, too, that, you know, from finishing schools, assassination of j$??e?fk, how what jackie went

>> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh!come, welcome, everybody. welcome. please, please -- hot crowd tonight. this is it right here! welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. you made it. [ cheers and applause ] enjoy the show. thank you very much. here's what people are talking about. of course, everyone is recovering from halloween yesterday. man, oh, man. i haven't seen so many hungover people in costumes since, well, every day in times square. [ cheers and applause ] but this is a lot. but this is nice. i saw that while hosting their final white house halloween party yesterday, first lady michelle obama actually told the kids, hey, candy for everybody. then barack was like, okay, who's that in the michelle obama costume? [ laughter and applause ] candy? meanwhile, republican donor charles koch tweeted a photo of himself dressed up as darth vader for halloween, and bernie sanders responded with a a photo of himself holding a a light saber. [ laughter ] people were like, damn, y

i -- >> jimmy: when? >> well, amy told me -- i'm very shocked -- what season did you hear the four words? >> no, she told me when we were putting together this reunion. >> jimmy: okay, okay. all right. so, no idea. >> no spoilers. >> jimmy: no idea, season five, you were like -- you don't know what the four words are. >> no, i didn't know. no way. she kept them to herself until the very end. >> jimmy: that's so amy sherman-palladino. >> so secretive and yeah, so amy. >> jimmy: another -- another piece of work that i'm a fan of yours is the "sisterhood of the traveling pants." i'm a big fan of that. saw both of them. saw the second one in theaters. you guys go to greece and just let it all hang out, man, and get in a lot of trouble. [ laughter ] and i was -- i would say, if this thing is a giant -- because it's a giant hit, would you ever bring back all those girls? i love all the girls. >> i know, they're so amazing. i mean, we would all love to do it. i think it would be so much fun. and we talk about it

hey, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> steve: dvd! >> jimmy: jimmy, come on. this is for you. 's meanwhile i read that donald trump and his family spent thanksgiving at his mar-a- lago resort in palm beach, florida. marking the only thanksgiving dinner where you are actually allowed to bring up donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] you've got to be really careful. i guess trump really loves thanksgiving because it's the one day a year he can talk about legs, thighs and breasts without getting in trouble. [ cheers and applause ] so, it's perfect. >> steve: oh! hey, hey! >> jimmy: i saw that snoop dogg just posted a 30-minute video of himself smoking weed, eating turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. [ light laughter ] yeah. asked if he was having a good thanksgiving, snoop said, "it's thanksgiving?" [ laughter and applause ] "oh, that's interesting. happy thanksgiving." and, finally listen to this. a doctor in arizona said there is a 25 to 30% increase in emergency room visits on thanksgiving, but don't worry. most of the time, it just turns out grandma was just

he does the work. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and it's the thought that counts, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm sure he knows -- >> it's the thought that counts. >> jimmy: i'm sure he knows that you're doing this. >> no, no, i want 24 white roses. no, but with a great card saying, you know, "good luck. if you run into trouble, i'll send wally." wally is our head cue card guy at "saturday night live." so, you gentlemen know him. >> jimmy: we know wally. >> you know wally well. but it's all right. because you have to, i had to memorize iconic speeches that robin williams gave, of course, in the movie. but then also the iconic speeches that walt whitman and henry david thoreau so it -- i haven't messed up yet. i messed up at our last tech rehearsal. we had about 20 people sitting in the audience, all the people that work at classic stage or whatnot and i'm getting ready to give the, you know, say the poem, you know, two roads diverged in a wood. now, do you know who wrote that? robert frost. >> jimmy: yeah. >> now, i know that as a human being. like if that was -- if we were

: jimmy. siri, remind me when someone they're just counting down the minutes until they can tell me about theirs. >> got it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: siri, remind me that i don't like cilantro and the next time i think i like cilantro, that's just because i like saying the word cilantro. [ laughter and applause ] >> okay. reminder. you don't like to tango. >> jimmy: no. no. i said, cilantro. i don't like cilantro. >> got it. pian >> jimmy: never mind. siri, remind me to act surprised when my waiter puts my food down in front of me even though i saw him carrying it the second he stepped out of the kitchen across the restaurant. [ applause ] >> i'll remind you. >> jimmy: what? how did you know i wanted it? siri, remind me the next time someone sends me a really long multiparagraph text just write >> k. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: siri, remind me that headphones are basically a a human "do not disturb" sign. >> that joke didn't work. >> jimmy: how do you know? how do you know? >> stev

>> jimmy: yes! i'm so happy you're here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm so happy for everything that's going on in your career. you're just awesome. i just -- you know, i was going nuts for you when you won the emmy. it was great. >> i appreciate it, man. it was a surreal experience. i didn't know if it was gonna happen or not. when they called my name, i almost fainted. had to remind myself to get up and walk up on stage and just say thank you. it was amazing. amazing. >> jimmy: that was cool. i mean, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and i loved it. but this is not the first time. we've met before. >> no, bro. we were in a movie called "taxi." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: absolutely. >> you were in it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i got cut out of it. [ laughter ] i was like a mounted new york city cop who had never rode a horse before. and i almost lost the job because the casting director was like, are you sure he can ride the horse, right? and i had a horseback riding lesson, and then this thing got cu

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: awe, we love her. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: she's fun, man. >> jimmy: i love her. amy and i are going to play a a singing version of "the whisper challenge." >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: later in the show. it's a game you can play at home. it's very, very fun. plus, this guy is -- i mean, come on. he's the best. he is one of the best announcers in sports. he just called that historic chicago cubs world series win. wasn't he great? >> steve: right. >> jimmy: he was fantastic, but he always is. he has a new autobiography out next tuesday. joe buck is stopping by tonight. >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: he's great. and we got great music tonight, oh my goodness, morgane and chris stapleton, you guys! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "southern family." i got a picture of them on the inside. >> steve: what is it? >> jimmy: it's camouflage, apparently, but they're somewhere. [ laughter ] >> steve: they're somewhere. if you can find chris or morgane in this, circle it, get on a twitter account, and we'll yo absolutely. just go -- make sure you go to th

[ jimmy howling ] >> jimmy: sorry, i had to howl it out, man. it's monday. >> steve: gotta howl it out like the wolfman. >> jimmy: howl at the moon, guys! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: we're so happy to be back. [ cheers and applause ] it's monday. we're happy to be back. we have a big week of shows coming up. tomorrow night, the lovely sarah jessica parker will be here. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] also, this is very excitin last week, i talked about my top four characters on "gilmore girls." not counting -- [ cheers ] not counting rory and lorelai. >> jimmy: you can't count those. they're already -- >> steve: they are the "gilmore girls." >> jimmy: they're shoehorned in -- yeah, they're the "gilmore girls." yeah. so it's like saying "seinfeld" is your -- >> steve: right, right, right. >> jimmy: so i said my top four, and then my invisible five. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: which switched. >> steve: invisible fifth can go anywhere, yeah. >> jimmy: but anyway, tomorrow, my top three, luke, kirk, and [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: scott p

>> jimmy: it's fun.ke a look at this. [ breathing ] >> louise. >> why louise? >> what is that? is that a new symbol? i can't tell. >> dr. banks. what are you doing? are you insane? >> you need to see me. >> she's taking off her headset. dr. banks, are you okay? >> i need to see me. >> dr. banks. >> she's walking towards the screen. [ breathing ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "arrival." that's this weekend. check it out. guys, stick around. amy adams and i are playing a a singing version of "the whisper challenge" when we get back, everybody. come on back. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i'll call you back. is this my car? state farm knows that for every one of those moments... what? this is ridiculous! there's one of these... sam, i gotta go... is this my car? what? this is ridiculous! this can't be happening! this can't be happening! oh, it's happening sweetheart. oh, it's happening sweetheart. shut up! shut up! that's why state farm is there, what a day... with car insurance, for when things go wrong. bu

>> jimmy: eggs, yeah. eggs. >> eggs. >> jimmy: yeah. store name. >> macy's. >> jimmy: body part. >> buttock. >> jimmy: silly word. >> buttock, no. [ light laughter ] um, geronimo. no, that's a -- well that's a -- >> jimmy: no, flippity gibbitt we could use for that. >> could we just do that now? >> jimmy: we'll do flippity gibbitt down by the silly word. >> this is how it's going upstairs already. i've a right -- >> jimmy: flippity gibbitt. and then exclamation, give me that again. exclamation. you say to someone, you go, hey -- >> crumbs. >> jimmy: there we go. [ light laughter ] >> sorry, hugh grant. >> jimmy: crumbs, that's very hugh grant. yeah, that's great. name of a holiday. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: movie title. >> movie title? "superman." >> jimmy: "superman." verb ending in "ing." >> oh, i can't say that one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't say that one, yes. >> gyrating. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: amount of distance. like, ten miles or five feet. >> ten miles or five feet? >> jimmy: just an amount. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: coun

jimmy fallon! ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hi! welcome! welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the "tonight show," everybody. welcome. this is it! you made it! you're here! [ cheers and applause ] i'm your host, jimmy fallon. here's what people are talking about. of course -- [ laughter ] the big story is that america woke up this morning and was like -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right. donald trump is going to be president. republicans hope he'll keep his promise to build a wall, and democrats hope he'll keep his promise not to accept the election results. [ cheers and applause ] "you don't have to do it. you said you'd" -- after the results came in, donald trump gave a big victory speech. yep. he said he couldn't have done it without the love of his life, his rock, his better half, fbi director james comey. [ laughter and applause ] and president obama called donald trump last night to congratulate him, even invited him to the house for a meeting tomorrow. of course, it was hard to understand obama because at the t

>> jimmy: what? you always bring something delicious. i can smell them. >> these are, for me, the best gingerbread men anywhere. i love a gingerbread man. i -- yeah, yeah. ooh, this feels, like -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: it'd be, like, soft. >> yeah. this is like the right kind of gingerbread. >> jimmy: yeah, i always grew up, i had, like, hard as a a rock. >> yeah, no. [ laughter ] >> this is -- >> jimmy: ginger brittle. >> this is ginger -- yeah! yeah, yeah! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: like, ginger brittle cookie. >> now, this is the gingerbread man that's like, "hey, baby." [ laughter ] you like that? >> jimmy: i like that. >> "come on. dunk me in some tea." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: mmm. >> yeah, baby. >> jimmy: oh, that's delicious. >> uh-huh. hey, roots. >> jimmy: and what is this? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come here. come here. >> come on. >> jimmy: oh, you always bring some for the roots. >> ginger bread -- oh, yeah. >> jimmy: now, these are delicious. ? >> mm-hmm. ? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. cookies, cookies. get

roll it. >> jimmy: jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel. >> roll it. okay. up next, jimmy kimmel, boy is he i mean, if it starts raining we can tarp the field with his uniform pants, he's that big. here's the pitch. he swings. it's a home run! swings for the fences, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom! the stadium is shaking! >> jimmy: it's not. >> obviously it wasn't built to code. >> jimmy: all right, we get it. >> the footsteps of a 900-pound man. hey, save some peanuts and crackerjacks for the rest of us. >> jimmy: harry caray, folks! [ cheers and applause ] >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: yes. >> my pleasure. night, everyone! let's go, le let's go, let's go, show scottie pippen how it's done. a one and a two -- ? take me out to the ball game take me out to the crowds ? ? don't give it to jimmy because he is too fat ? ? he has an eating disorder ? >> jimmy: we have to take a break. president obama reads mean tweets. stick around! harry caray. ? the old ball game ? [ cheers and applause ] when cold an when cold and flu hold you back try theraflu expressmax,n now in ne

>> jimmy: oh. that's what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: guys, i always say we're lucky to have the greatest band in late night. the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. the roots. [ cheers and applause ] dot com. love the roots. but it isn't always fun and games. from time to time, we put the roots to the test. we pick people from our audience and have the roots make up songs about them on the spot. it is time for "freestylin' with the roots." here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ? time to freestyle with the roots ? ? >> jimmy: roots, you guys ready to do this? [ cheers and applause ] oh. raise your hand if you want the roots to write a song about you. come on over here, sir. yeah, perfect. come on. perfect, perfect, perfect. welcome. thank you for being here. i appreciate it. take your time. what is your name? what is your name? >> josh. >> jimmy: josh. very good, josh. josh, where are you from? >> i'm from pittsburgh, pennsylvania. >> jimmy: hey, very good. pittsburghese. >> jimmy: yeah. over t

and no here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: hi, >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome. thank you. hi, everybody, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. it's very, ver it's very, very sweet. i hate to start with bad news but that's the way it has to be sometimes. i don't know if you heard but "people" magazine today named the sexiest man alive this year, and once again for the 35th year in a row, i was not it. [ laughter ] i'm taking it pretty hard. the sexy man alive for 2016, i'll give you a hint, he is one of the men in this photograph. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gguillermo? was it you? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: it wasn't. it wasn't him, it was the other guy, dwayne johnson, our guest last night, the sexiest man alive. either that or he's a serial killer. it's hard to tell. i think that would be a bigger story. you think that good luck sexy hug you gave him last night took him over the top? >> guillermo: yes, that was it. >> jimmy: that was. for the third year in a row people's sexiest man dead is -- grover cleveland, that's

oh, sure. >> jimmy: you do? >> yes. >> jimmy: to this day? >> to this day. >> jimmy: have you been in a situation where you get to the premiere and it goes badly? >> yes, i have. >> jimmy: you have. >> not often. >> jimmy: every once in awhile. >> 20, 30 times or something. [ laughter ] it's bad, you know. it's worse at a play. >> jimmy: oh, it is? really? why? >> jimmy: oh. >> opening night, you go to the party, and you're eating, and reviews start to appear on people's phones. used to be, throw the paper, but it's not like that anymore. now it's a glowing, oh, and then -- but you don't know it if you're an actor in the play, well, i don't want to read it. i don't know. so, like, it's another glass of wine, you know. they say, does anybody? the whole room -- >> jimmy: people distance themselves from you? >> they distance the whole party can be just gone almost instantaneously. from a bad review. >> jimmy: that's crazy, wow. >> it's a great feeling. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what was your first hollywood premiere, going to one of these movies, b

>> jimmy: what? well, he's still got it. [ laughter ] countries in the neighborhood. [ cheers and applause ] with all the focus on donald trump, sometimes you forget about george bush and how good he was at getting a crowd fired up. >> laura sends her best. she's doing great by the way. she is a grandmother. >> jimmy: yeah. it all adds up. he was or president for like eight years. president-elect trump is in the process of building his cabinet right now and it's going to be a solid gold cabinet full of all the finest snacks. this is kind of nutty. one of the names on trump's short list for attorney general is ted cruz. senator ted cruz. who of course was trump's bitter rival on the campaign trail. this is going to be like if tupac hired biggie to be his head of security. it might happen. the man and over again could become our nation's top law enforcement official. we're living in some kind of bizarre-o world. don't be surprised if he names hillary clinton secretary of state. it could happen. meanwhi

>> don knots. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: don is not on the dime. >> sal: i begged you to walk, i begged. >> sheldon, i'm so sorry. >> sal: give me the money. >> jimmy: we're going to have to take that 6 cents back. thank you for playing. well, at least the cubs -- yeah. sal, just take it all, there we go. thank you, sheldon. let's get another player in there. it's harder than it looks. you think you know. but then you're on the spot. let's see who we have now. hi there, jessica how are you? >> good, how are you? >> jimmy: doing well. are you here on vacation? >> i am in town for a wedding. >>er what are you in town from? >> detroit, michigan. >> jimmy: who's getting married? >> my cousin. >> jimmy: a cousin you like? party? >> i'm not, unfortunately. >> jimmy: this is a cousin you like but she doesn't like you that much. >> not so much. >> jimmy: how big is the wedding party? >> i can't be sure. i don't know. >> jimmy: wow, so you're really second, maybe third tier. >> yeah. not that important. >>

>> jimmy: you're not? you've got to vote for yourself. >> i am. >> jimmy: you're voting against me if you don't vote for yourself. >> oh my gosh, okay. >> jimmy: are your teammates vote ing for you? >> i would hope so. >> jimmy: do you ask them? tweet them, say vote for me. we've got to get to work on this. your dancing is great no complaints there. perfect 10s this week. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: next week, we'll try to do better next week, [ laughter ] maybe get it up to 11, even a 12. >> 12.5 would help a lot. >> jimmy: has it been easier, harder, about the same as you imagined it would be? you're no stranger to training for an event, obviously. >> yeah, i mean, it's actually been a lot harder than i thought. >> jimmy: it has? >> yeah, just because for gymnastics we have to be barefoot all the time. for dancing we have to go on heel rirs was completely off my center of balance. dancing with a partner, i wasn't used to that. i kept stepping on him. i head butt him in the chest and e

we'll be right back with more jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: is it tom brokaw? >> i was tom brokaw. >> jimmy: tom brokaw is -- >> tom brokaw -- >> jimmy: i'll be announcing for "the tonight show." >> let me do tom brokaw saying "where the library?" in spanish. [ laughter ] why not? >> jimmy: why not? >> why not? ?? this is why -- >> jimmy: this is what you get to expect if you watch the netflix special. >> i do a lot of wacky stuff. yeah, i do some millennial -- the thing i do about millennials is never take a a millennial kid, or never take a teenage boy to europe. like, don't waste your money. my wife and i brought our sons to italy and we were in the roman coliseum with the teenage boys. so we thought it was amazing, my god, the seat of history. and i'll stand up for it. this is the quote. he goes, "uh, is this pretty much all we're going to do today?" [ laughter and applause ] which is such a passive aggressive thing. all they care about -- because they were into bmx biking and skateboarding -- is what they could catch air on. you know, we saw the statue of

>> jimmy: how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. the last time i saw you was in new york. you were very nice to invite my wife and i backstage to say hello after "hamilton," which was fantastic. i'm sure you get sick of hearing about it all the time. lot of people waiting to come say hello. when you're in that situation, just done a three-hour musical, do you ever get, oh my god, i've got to sit here and say hello to joe biden or something? >> it's funny you bring up joe biden, joe biden was the only visitor with secret service detail who went to the bathroom in the lobby. >> jimmy: he did? >> yeah. imagine you're in the lobby -- >> jimmy: he peed in the lobby? what an animal! lines are. the line wraps around into the lobby. there's joe biden waiting. we're like, you can come backstage. he's like, no, waving to the urinals, he's just joe. >> jimmy: spectacular. >> isn't that crazy? >> jimmy: that is pretty crazy. you were in mexico, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what's the mood there? thought that you tested everyone. >> i was in the ai

>> no. >> jimmy: good answer. [ applause ] >> jimmy? >> jimmy: yes. >> jimmy: really? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: should i ask them to leave? >> uh -- well, plug your ears, people. >> jimmy: what's the problem? >> okay. i need you to stop telling kids' parents to take their candy away. >> jimmy: oh. you don't like that, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: have your parents ever taken your candy away? >> no, but jimmy, it's not nice. ? i'm feeling intimidated right now. [ laughter ] >> you may not like candy, you may not like candy. but we love candy. >> jimmy: oh, i love candy, as a matter of fact. that's why i want to eat all of it. >> how would you feel if your wife came up to you one day and said, hey jimmy, i spent all your money! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a good point. >> you'd probably cry. you'd probably throw a tan actual. you might even swear a little bit. from? [ laughter ] you're not one of our children. you're not one of our human chirp, you're much too intelligent. i think you may have been sent here. >> i'm from planet canada. [ laughter ] >> jim

it's a tv character. >> jimmy: steve urkel? >> no. >> jimmy: zach morris? >> no. >> jimmy: blossom?eers and applause ] >> jimmy: nice! air-five! oh, i just got an idea, would you want to sing that song that we heard on the radio today? >> oh, you mean "ironic" by alanis morissette? >> jimmy: i love that song. but remember, we got to keep it down 'cause it's after light's out. [ laughter ] >> okay, here we go. here we go. ♪ an old man turned 98 he won the lottery and died the next day ♪ ♪ it's a black fly in your chardonnay it's a death row pardon two minutes too late ♪ ♪ and isn't it ironic don't you think ♪ ♪ it's like rain on your wedding day it's a free ride ♪ when you've already paid it's the good advice that you just can't take ♪ [ whistling ] >> boys, boys! what's with all the dang racket in here? >> jimmy: sorry, mr. fletcher. we were just singing a song. >> you were just singing a a song? well, how about you just try singing a bed? that's right. >> what does that mean? [ laughter ] >> you'll figure it out. and it's after lights out! which means you two potato heads need to g