jimmy's -- jimmy's gin >> jimmy: ginnie fallon. it's won several gold medals >> jimmy: oh, my god [ cheers and applause >> i'm sorry >> jimmy: did it really? >> it really did but obviously -- i wanted to call it jimmy's gin. >> jimmy: yeah >> but i thought something easier to say like sasinac, right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: much easier, yes >> i'll really proud of it it's a wild scottish gin and honestly, i'm running out of things to make. so, next time you invite me on -- i don't know what am i going to do next >> jimmy: well, actually, i have some ingredients here if you want to make - >> oh, a cocktail. >> jimmy: oh, yeah [ cheers and applause >> now we're talking >> jimmy: why are there -- there why there -- what do we have here? why do we have eggs? >> eggs are good for protein we're going to make you a ginnie fallon. >> jimmy: you are? >> we're going to make you a a ginnie fallon cocktail you're going to help me, my friend >> jimmy: i love this. >> we've got in here, i've been told reliably, that there is -- whoo yep, that is

jimmy, jimmy jimmy. jimmy, is it -- is it time for questions from the audience?mmy: no we -- we actually never really do that on our show. [ light laughter ] but, i mean, sure, go ahead, i guess. >> oh, great i was wondering, since "the exorcist" comes out today, could you have someone that looks like the girl from "the exorcist" sing "cruel summer" by taylor swift. >> jimmy: i -- i don't know if we have anyone that looks like the girl from "the exorcist" in our audience i mean, well, actually, wait ma'am, what about you? >> that's my wife, you son of a bitch! >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, i'm sorry. i'm -- sir, i'm so sorry i was talking about the girl to your left. yeah [ light laughter ] you. can -- can -- can you -- can you sing "cruel summer." ♪ >> hit it! ♪ and it's new ♪ ♪ the shape of your bod it's blu the feeling i've got and it's ooh whoa oh ♪ ♪ it's a cruel summer it's a cruel summer ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: that was a great question from the audience give it up for the girl from "the exorcist," everybody! [ cheers and applause let's go write some

a "late night with jimmy fallon" t-shirt. >> jimmy: yeah >> from when he had my show. >> jimmy: i didn'tr show now. look, she's my wife. [ laughter ] [ talking over each other >> jimmy: i have her cell phone number >> she came in wearing -- she showed it to all the other hosts. >> jimmy: it looked great. >> here i am in my jimmy shirt >> jimmy: yeah [ laughter ] and then we started talking about merch -- >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: -- in the nbc store. >> yeah, this is -- look, i brought proof. 'cause i feel like, i didn't want to come off as complainy on the podcast but here's the thing, jimmy and i both have television shows they're both an hour long. >> jimmy: uh-huh >> we should have the same amount of merch in the nbc store. >> jimmy: we're in this building together. >> yeah, this is -- i had to do a collage to get all "the tonight show" merch. that said "tonight show. look at that there's a whole -- by the way, second card, "tonight show." "late night" merch, just like one, like, barely attended wall [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not bad >> look, there's only one -- thank you. there's o

[ talking over each other >> yeah. >> jimmy: jimmy, we're good -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: -- don't even putfia coppola. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, was that also intimidating too, working with -- having her direct you? >> i think it was just exciting >> jimmy: yeah >> like that was just like pure bliss. that was the only reason, you know, the whole time i was trying to -- trying to take it like i was making "blue valentine" or something. just like a straight up relationship drama without elvis and priscilla for sofia coppola. >> jimmy: yeah, and -- >> that was like the goal. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: uh -- we don't -- it focuses on the relationship between you and priscilla, but you do get to wear a couple of awesome jumpsuits. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and that's got to feel cool, right >> yeah, 100%, i mean, it was -- as soon as you put the -- 'cause you kind of, you pull them on and you zip them from right here, which is where all his, you know, his energy was. >> jimmy: the chi. [ laughter ] >> yeah, the chi was just deeply centered and -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, i understand yeah,

see you in hell, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. this is serious.t of office this week. >> no, please. congress isn't even in session this week because of a jewish holiday. >> jimmy: what jewish holiday? >> it's rosh hashanukah, dummy. how dare you question my deeply held religious beliefs, and this on my bubbe's birthday. >> jimmy: oh, this is your grandmother. what is your name? >> her name is grandma. >> how you? >> jimmy: i don't think that's your grandmother, are you stealing this woman's purse? >> how many [ bleep ] sweet 'n lows do you need in here? i just -- my campaign credit card was in here. >> jimmy: okay. you have a trial coming up for fraud on your campaign. can you comment on that? you near vows about is that. >> why would i be nervous when i'm innocent of all the crimes i've committed and also all crimes i will commit in the future. >> jimmy: why you going to the roof right now? and what is that duffel bag full of -- this looks very bad, george. >> i can't hear you over the helicopter. i'll try to tell them to turn it down. >> jimmy:

jimmy: it's loud.now. you already know >> jimmy: no, there's something on the screen. >> you already know what that's - ♪ >> jimmy: oh, no, no, no >> she's - >> jimmy: it's frightening >> she's gonna change into something. >> jimmy: now, why is it blurry, too? >> when she turns around -- when she turns around -- >> jimmy: i don't like this at all. [ screaming >> questlove: [ bleep ]! >> questlove: frick, sorry [ laughter and applause >> jimmy: i -- i kept my composure, but that was frightening right there. and i don't know if i've ever heard you curse before >> questlove: sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah ooh. >> what happened >> questlove: oh, sorry. >> no, i think we're okay. >> jimmy: not bad. [ light laughter ] you look good. i have -- barely have anything on me. >> yeah, i didn't get anything on me. >> jimmy: ooh. [ laughter ] all right, let's see it in slow motion [ laughter ] wait no one else's wine is over their body [ laughter ] in the slow-motion video that we just watched. [ laughter ] >> r

>> good, how are you >> jimmy: great. you want to stand up >> sure. >> jimmy: great.e you go >> pete's girl [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, there you go, right there. wow, hey guys. how are you doing? [ light laughter ] good to see you. how are you? nice to see you. what is your name? >> linnea. >> jimmy: linnea, ooh, a great name >> thank you >> jimmy: linnea linnea, where are you from >> california originally, but i live here. >> jimmy: hey, welcome >> thank you >> jimmy: linnea, taylor swift's "eras" concert tour movie is coming out this week taylor swift's fans are called, obviously, swifties. what would fans of linnea be called >> ooh, i don't know linnslayas >> jimmy: wow! [ cheers and applause that's fantastic the linnslayas >> linnslayas. >> jimmy: the linnslayas is great. taylor and her friends famously share fun bracelets. what would your friendship bracelet say >> ooh i don't know i have to look at my friends [ light laughter ] "lovely day" >> jimmy: ooh, i like that "lovely day" >> "lovely day." >> jimmy: "lovely day. >> it's a lovely day >> jimmy: it c

yeah ♪ >> oh, there we go oh oh >> jimmy: wow. >> oh. >> jimmy: ooh. >> oh. >> jimmy: that's -- that's smell great have you ever tried them both on >> i try to stick to one >> jimmy: okay, all right, all right, all right, yeah [ laughter ] >> take a shower and then i go for the next one >> jimmy: i love it, bud this is great. and it is -- it's next chapter, volume one, volume two how are you liking being an analyst, by the way? you do a great job >> i love it you know, it's a great way for me to stay connected to the game hockey's been my life since i was probably five, six years old. i'm done playing but now, i get an opportunity to talk about it i meet amazing people. tnt out in atlanta but also working at msg network here in new york covering the rangers. to me it's about the people. you know, is it fun to talk about hockey yeah, it's fun but the best part is the people and the teamwork and just having fun together. that's what matters to me the most >> jimmy: you're crushing it right now, buddy and i'm so happy for you congratulations on the hall of fame >> thank you so much >> jim

>> not yet, jimmy, i haven't >> jimmy: ooh -- >> gucci >> jimmy: ooh, gucci why not?ands even as we were charading, i noticed i was, like, standing in the camera like - [ light laughter ] i have -- i do this thing called claw hand [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what is claw -- what is claw hand >> every photo i take, it's like - or like -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah i have an example here >> here they go. >> jimmy: i have three photos of you >> mm-hm >> jimmy: very fashion, very different claw hands [ laughter ] >> yeah. yes. >> jimmy: now, explain that one, i can see that's claw hand >> yeah, that has a pocket >> jimmy: which one? this one does? >> and i'm still -- this has a a pocket i could have hid my hand and yet, here we are [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is fun. i like -- this is very fun >> yeah, so that was at the vmas and i don't -- clearly don't know how to hold an object with the -- the claw. [ laughter ] it's like a lobster. >> jimmy: yeah i did a red carpet once. and the camera person was like, "jimmy, give me a thumbs up. and i go, "i don't really do thumbs up. and

all right, jimmy, ready? steve: what question have scholars tried to answer for centuries? ♪ >> jimmy: what is the meaning of life? >> steve: judges - [ buzzer ] no why is pickleball so popular [ laughter and applause for centuries. >> jimmy: i don't know why >> steve: for hundreds of years they've been trying to answer that >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know why they did that, yeah. >> steve: all right, jimmy, you'll get this one. twitter changed its name, right? >> jimmy: mm-hmm >> steve: what do people call it now >> jimmy: x. [ buzzer ] >> steve: wrong. twitter. [ laughter ] they call it twitter [ laughter and applause >> jimmy: ah, yeah - >> steve: close, you almost got it >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah >> steve: you almost got it. okay, ready? you're going to get this one i know it. >> jimmy: mm-hmm >> steve: what's the most common place for senior citizens -- for senior citizens where do they go to enjoy their golden years senior citizens, where do they go >> jimmy: florida. [ buzzer ] >> steve: no, congre

>> jimmy: taraji >> mwah. it's amazing >> jimmy: gerri.wand. [ light laughter ] geri, you'll draw a disk from the top of the pile. each disk has a song title on it you have to get your partner to guess the name of the song as quickly as possible, but all you can do is hum, okay? after your partner guesses, pass the wand to the person on the right. if you hear -- if you hear the dinging sound, if you hear - [ ding ] yeah, if you -- if you ding, then you get donged, and that means -- [ light laughter ] -- your team loses the round we're going to play three rounds let's take our positions here. i go here. [ cheers and applause geri, you're there taraji, you're there >> questlove: you're over there. >> jimmy: and geri, you'll be over here. >> oh, it's like spades. >> jimmy: okay, yeah >> and i pass the wand -- i pass the wand back to you. >> jimmy: yeah i'm going to light the dinger wand here, okay? when you're ready -- [ light laughter ] press -- light the dinger wand, you'll take the first clue, and go for it, and all you can do is hum >> ok

>> jimmy: beautiful. >> guillermo: you want one, jimmy?> jimmy: no, i'm all right, thank you. >> guillermo: like japanese tequila. wow! >> jimmy: wow! ♪ >> you cut too much meat here, look at this. >> guillermo: i'm a little bit drunk, maybe. >> jimmy: is it okay to eat the food while you're cooking it? do you ever have a little snack? >> did you eat it? that's not done. >> jimmy: still tasted good. what did a mushroom say to another mushroom? "you are a fun guy." i'm going to have to hire some of these writers. >> guillermo: yeah, that's it? >> looks good, huh? >> jimmy: you think we're ready now to cook for customers? it tastes very good. >> you can cook your friend, maybe. >> jimmy: what do you say, chef? >> good job, very good. >> jimmy: i mean, about cooking for customers. >> uh -- [ laughter ] >> oh my gosh. >> jimmy: hello, ladies. >> guillermo: how are you? how are you doing? >> jimmy: konnichiwa. >> guillermo: konnichiwa. >> jimmy: my name's chef jimmy, this is chef guillermo. we just learned how to do this, so bear with us. whose

>> jimmy: the best >> steve: the best >> jimmy: the dynamic duo. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: josh gadlls. plus, he is currently on tour, and his latest comedy special "nate bargatze: hello world" -- it's my favorite special i've seen in ten years. it is a perfect special. it is unbelievable if you haven't seen it, just do it right now you can tune out of "the tonight show." just flip over [ light laughter ] watch it i think it's on amazon he's unbelievable. and gosh, he's been a great friend of the show here since the late '90s >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: nate bargatze is joining us tonight >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: he's one of my favorites. he is crushing it. speaking of great standup, we have great standup from ian lara, by the way, coming back [ cheers and applause i love this dude as well guys, stick around we'll be right back with josh gad and andrew rannells here on "the tonight show. [ cheers and applause ♪ >> oh, my god, you're the biggest movie star in the world! >> jimmy: no, you wouldn't yell you wouldn't yell! >> no, you're the biggest! >> jimmy: you

jimmy. >> jimmy: yo >> questlove: hang on, hang on >> jimmy: what's up?re doing shoutouts can i do one >> jimmy: yeah, sure go ahead >> questlove: can i get some shoutout music ♪ all right. it's your man questo and i want to give a shoutout to my impossible cheesesteaks. all right? [ cheers and applause it's the food of the future. all right. the meat may not be real but it tastes questacular [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: questacular. i love that. great shout out, quest great shout out. >> yo, yo. i've got one, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay, come on. go for it. >> shout out to silica gel packets. now, be honest i don't even know what you do but i love opening a bag of beef jerky and seeing your weird little ass hanging with all that meat. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: thank you, that's good thank you. thank you, kumal that's very good thank you, kamal i appreciate that. anyway - >> steve: i got -- i got one >> jimmy: higgins, sure. higgins. let's hear it. >> steve: okay, ready? shout out the to-do lists. keep my schedule on track. do my laundry.

>> jimmy: mike, what are you doing? >> who is this one? >> jimmy: jimmy kimmel. >> jenny candle?hy are you calling me? >> jimmy: i'm not on the phone, i'm here, i'm on -- >> holy cripes, where have you been? i haven't seen you in ages. i thought they did a cancel culture on you like they did to tupac shakira. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, mike. they didn't do a chance sell culture. my show was off the air because of the writers' strike. >> is that why there ain't been no new episodes of "joanie loves chachi"? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's not why. i think that show went off the air 40 years ago. >> holy baloney! time flies when ya spent most of the eighties sniffin booger sugar with tila tequila and chuck sheen! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's what they say. i wanted to ask you, sorry, about this fire sale you had -- >> who is it had a fire sale, you said? >> jimmy: you, you sold everything in your factory. how did the sale go? >> terrible! nobody can afford to buy a wheelbarrow full of dead pigeon feathers anymore on account of this bidenomics. which is why for a limite

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us. in hollywood, california. we have a lot to cover tonight. we have -- i don't mean to quiet you down, but we have no time for fun tonight. our pumpkin-headed former president -- [ laughter ] -- was mouth-breathing his way through another day in court today. this was not the january 6th insurrection case, that's in washington. it's not to be confused with the election-tampering case, that's in georgia. or the stolen documents case in florida. or the stormy daniels or e. jean carroll cases that are also in new york. [ laughter ] this is his fraud trial in new york. i know. it's hard to keep track. donny cochran has been using this trial as a platform to air grievances. particularly about the gag order the judge put on him in washington. >> the just said basically i don't have a right to speak. and i'm being restricted, my speech has been taken away from me. i'm the candidate that's running for office and i'm not al

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello, everybody. welcome. i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. hey, i got a question for you. how many of you in our studio audience got outside on saturday to look at the eclipse? did you know there was an aclips on saturday morning? did you wear the glasses? no, no protection. i figured that. on saturday morning we had a solar eclipse. it was visible from the western united states. this was the view from l.a. did you see it, guillermo? >> guillermo: i did not see it, jimmy. >> jimmy: did you know what happened? >> guillermo: yeah, but i fell asleep. >> jimmy: you were asleep. this is what it looked like from nevada. it's one fishing kid away from being the dreamworks logo. the eclipse created a ring of fire in the sky over north, central and south america, which sadly no one saw because we were all at the movies watching taylor swift the taylor swift concert movie made $93 million at the box office this weekend. it's the biggest concert movie of all time by far. we took our k

>> jimmy: yeah. >> then i really like the name colt. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm a horse lady. >> jimmy: ohggest gay porn star on the planet. >> jimmy: is that true? >> that's true, that's true. you totally sold me on that. >> jimmy: he won't be in 15 years. you know, the shelf life i think is short enough that your colt cummings could be fine. >> it's interesting. guests are talking about names. i found out when you're naming a kid -- there's a book i was reading. i guess your last name indicates what your ancestors did for a living. [ laughter ] so if it's baker, they were probably bakers. tanner, they were tanning leather. what were my ancestors doing? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: making more ancestors. are you -- so you're on tour. do you recommend being on tour while with child? >> i feel great. everyone was so worried about me. i'm glad i waited this long. if i -- i'm so glad i waited till i was a mature adult to get pregnant. if i had had a pregnancy, even a year sooner, i would have sold the baby for taylor swift tickets. [ laughter ] this is best-case scenario. >> jimmy: are you nervous

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, hi.'m jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. thank you for joining us here in los angeles, california, where according to orkin, the pest control people, this is the second-most rat-infested city in america. [ cheers and applause ] chicago is number one. and we are number two. ne spot ahead of new york. which, not that i don't trust the people with the tanks of rodent poison strapped to their backs, but that's nonsense. i live in l.a., i haven't seen a rat here in about 15 years. when i fly to new york, i see them from the plane. [ laughter ] there's no way there are more rats here than there are in new york. agents, yes. [ laughter ] and i could see how those could get confused. guillermo, when's the last time you saw a rat? >> guillermo: maybe three weeks. >> jimmy: really? where did you see it? >> guillermo: right here in the alley. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: oh. you sure it wasn't a chihuahua that got some w

back >> right [ laughter ] don jimmy. >> jimmy: "don jimmy" and "don juan. you go -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's a deal. i'll do that with you. >> you go to the garden, you perform the garden you come >> jimmy: by the way, madison square garden tomorrow night. >> yes, sir. i'm so excited >> jimmy: are you -- what do you do when you do these giant things [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: i got to say, you're one of the hardest working people i know, and you always do it the right way. you crush every time you come on the show. but this album has 25 tracks on it >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a lot of music. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it just came out, i would say, at the end of august, maybe -- >> just a month, yeah. >> jimmy: over a billion streams, buddy >> yeah, bro, thank you. >> jimmy: come on. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: come on! [ cheers and applause >> thank you >> jimmy: you are crushing it. >> thank you, bro. >> jimmy: and your new song, "segun quien" -- >> "segun quien. >> jimmy: "segun quien." >> yes, sir. >> which means - >> guess who n

>> jimmy: yes?>> i like this game this way much more. don't you? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i feel bad i can't break an egg on your head >> steve: you can do it. oh, good luck! ♪ >> jimmy: i'm sorry. [ laughter and applause ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my god don't wind -- don't wind up. you're not throwing it at me be -- calm down. no, no, no not in my face hair it has to be - [ audience ohhs [ dinging this is the worst -- >> i love this game. >> jimmy: this is the worst game i've ever - [ laughter ] >> i love this game. >> jimmy: i want to congratulate our winner, heidi klum what a great game. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> you're next >> jimmy: we're talking to heidi, after the break stick around, everybody. wow! wait [ cheers and applause ♪ did you know ♪ i'll meet you by the rive or maybe on the other side you find i hard to swallow ♪ ♪ when you watc another angel die ♪ l'or barist. enjoy richer, bolder flavors that satisfy your senses like never before. inspired by french artistry and elevated by high pressu

that goes for you too, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, well, i -- >> you told me too, july jimmy. a bug in there. "hey, jimmy, thank you." >> jimmy: tell those who don't know what town business means. >> if you're an oakland, california, it's just a way we do things. a slang that we use to refer how we get down. you know? there's a certain way that you need to carry yourself and conduct yourself around oakland. unfortunately, you know, if you don't do that, you're going to get got. it's a very -- you know. >> jimmy: it's bad to get got? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you don't want to get got? >> you don't want to get got, unless you get got by me, you know. i'm painless. >> jimmy: that is the town business that you're doing? >> that's -- well, yeah. what i did to be able to bring chappelle and netflix to oakland in such a bad time, you know. oakland was getting a lot of bad publicity because there's a lot of bad things going on there. to be able to bring that back to oakland and try to give them something good to talk about. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it was sort of like my love letter to oaklan

. >> jimmy: hi, paris. >> hey >> jimmy: i'm so happy you're back on the show >> love being here >> jimmy: did you hear about this new pepper called pepper x supposed to be really spicey i got one if you wanna try it. >> sure, i'll try it [ crunch ] [ ominous music >> that's hot. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests - issa rae paris hilton comedian jared fried and featuring the legendary roots crew >> questlove: 1855 >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: oh - welcome, everybody welcome to "the tonight show." you're here! thank you very much for watching [ cheers and applause i love you let's get to some news guys, it was a very chaotic day in washington. because once again, republicans couldn't agree on speaker of the house. they were unable to elect jim jordan yeah they did this once before with kevin mccarthy where it took 15 votes to get elected. so only 14 more rounds to go han

>> jimmy: wow.on't think we've ever had this kind of reaction for a director before, but thanks for coming. >> uh, wow. weird. calling martin scorsese a director is like calling mountain dew code red a soda. >> yeah. if he was just a director, would we have stayed up all night making these? >> jimmy: are those friendship bracelets? >> close. they are friendship rosary beads. >> jimmy: oh. >> they're to commemorate all the different ear razz of marty. there's the gangster era, the catholic era, the de niro era, the catholic era -- really, there's just like too many to cover. >> jimmy: what do they say on the bracelets? >> this one says, "travis bickle is an incel zaddy." >> mine says "cape fierce." >> oh, my god, trade me that one for this one that says "kundun, i liked it!" >> okay. >> jimmy: guys, please. this is very funny, it's very cute, but i have a show to do, so if you don't mind, if you could be quiet, it would be great. >> funny. >> jimmy: what do you mean funny? >> like we amuse you? >> fu

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on a very important day of online shopping here in the united states. it's october prime day on amazon, exclusively for prime members which is everyone in the world. it's not to be confused, october prime day, with multiple other prime days. this is a two-day event, and i want to say they've got great deals on some must-have items like a pickle that yodels. a cat scratcher shaped like a tongue. a pa january yeah goose. a piece of plastic pork. and a delicious can of spam maple flavor. i don't want to give hints but those were make some excellent christmas gifts for you know too. >> guillermo: i know who, yeah. >> jimmy: joe biden spent his october prime day trying to figure out where the hell this woman alexa who keeps yelling at him is hiding. president biden spent much of yesterday being interviewed as part of the special counsel's investigation into the classified documents that somehow ended up at his home an

>> jimmy: why? >> why's that? >> jimmy: why? >> why >> jimmy: why?ing ] ♪ ♪ ely keep in stock. blendjet 2 gives you ice-crushing, big blender power on-the-go. so you can blend up a mouthwatering smoothie, protein shake, or latte wherever you are! recharge quickly with any usb port. best of all, it even cleans itself! just blend water with a drop of soap. what are you waiting for? order yours now from blendjet.com before they sell out again! this october 10th and 11th, prime big deal days give prime members exclusive access to two days of big savings. which means, you're kind of a big deal. prime big deal days, october 10th and 11th. only for prime members. we are trying really hard to get you reese's peanut butter cups but there is only so much we can do here. you're gonna have to meet us halfway. (♪♪) well, the whole way, actually. (♪♪) ♪ thousands of women with metastatic breast cancer, are living in the moment and taking ibrance. ibrance with an aromatase inhibitor is for adults with hr+/her2- metastatic breast cancer as the first hormonal based t

point to jimmy. >> jimmy: what?ve a winner here. there's no way -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. thank you. i want to thank the fans, i want to thank everybody out there, my parents who took me to balloon practice every saturday morning at 6:00. i want to thank josh duhamel. new episodes of "buddy games" thursdays at 8:00 on cbs and paramount. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, josh. i'm exhausted. we'll be back with the golden bachelor! [explosion] ♪ ♪ karangailyg ♪ ♪ kara ♪ ♪ hovaa ♪ ♪ o, ♪ ♪ dyngyl - dyngylda-a-ai ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ is someone trying to steal your butterfinger this halloween? call the bfi. ♪ no one lays a finger on your butterfinger. with scope squeez mouthwash concentrate, just add water, squeeze to control the strength of your mouthwash, ♪ and find a zone all your own. ♪ scope squeez. you know those mornings when it takes just a little bit extra to get you out of bed? this might be it. wake up to the goodness of jimmy dean. my active psoriatic arthritis can make me feel like i'm losing my r

>> jimmy: yeah >> yeah.know that's what i -- >> i do vocals yeah i sing it takes me away from show business >> jimmy: oh, so, it's too distracting? >> yeah. i do something else. i've always wanted to be a pip like gladys knight & the pips. i always -- more than the temptation - >> jimmy: yeah >> i wanted to be a pip. >> jimmy: pip, yeah. one of the pips. yeah >> pips is the joint i think one of them is my biological father. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know -- can i just bring this up i know we were just talking backstage, but i don't want to do anything. but you told me backstage that you were almost speaker of the house. is that -- [ laughter ] >> yeah. yeah, i could have been speaker. >> jimmy: i didn't know -- >> i could've been my game is good. >> jimmy: i know i didn't - >> how do you think i got my wife to marry me >> jimmy: yeah >> lying [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what >> she did not want to know the truth about me [ light laughter ] i'm telling you. who could get the democrats and republicans together bet

and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: i appreciate that. hello. i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thanks for coming. thank you for watching. i'd like to relay a special hello to those of you who are still drunk after monday night football. [ laughter ] we are coming to you from our home base, in the heart of hollywood. one of the strangest places in all the world, but we do get some competition from time to time. this is from the sunday service at st. john the divine cathedral in new york where parishioners were invited to bring their pets to be blessed in honor of st. francis, the patron saint of animals. there were cats. there were dogs. a goose on site. there was a giant snake. they had a baby crocodile. look at that guy. a sloth paid its first visit to church in a basket, as did a very reluctant little donkey, who is probably an atheist that wanted no part of any of that. there is also some horrific news over the weekend, our friends and allies in israel, innocent civilians killed and kidnapped by the terrorist organization, hamas. israel is now at war.

>> yeah. >> jimmy: you and keith. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, boy.at true? >> well, i don't brag about it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. i don't blame you. i played the clarinet in school. >> i played the clarinet, then i switched to oboe. >> jimmy: wow, switched from clarinet to oboe, you're heading the wrong direction there. [ laughter ] >> yeah, you know, i had -- i was a strange kid. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and why did you give up the woodwind instruments? >> well, because -- i realized that i'm not going to get any girls playing clarinet. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and you can't accompany yourself -- >> jimmy: i wish you'd let me know back then, yeah. [ laughter ] >> you can't accompany yourself -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah, there you go. look at that. >> oh, wow! [ applause ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: shockingly, yeah, no, it didn't lure any girls at all. [ laughter ] >> that's impressive. and you can't accompany yourself and sing with a clarinet in your mouth. >> jimmy: i'm able to sing with a clarinet in my mouth, the only living person th

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hola.'m jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad you're here. i'm glad we're able to do a show tonight. i have to tell you, i don't know if you heard about this. last night we had an eventful night. i went home and got a call saying the fire department was at the show. turns out we had smoke pouring out of the vents outside our edit rooms, then coming out of the building. they had to clear the whole place. fortunately, everything and everyone was okay. the firefighters even left us a photo. posing together at my desk. [ laughter ] they fixed it all. thank you, guys. by the way, i want to say, the fire department, if you see any smoke coming from the building tonight, that's just because snoop is here, we're fine. [ cheers and applause ] did you go back and visit snoop, guillermo? >> guillermo: of course, jimmy, yeah. that's my favorite day, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, i can barely see your eye balls. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: a dream come true. >> ji

>> jimmy: john stamos. >> jimmy >> jimmy: you are the best we have a lot to talk about. it is out.out so - first of all, happy belated birthday >> thank you >> jimmy: how old? >> 42. >> jimmy: wow. unbelievable congratulations. [ cheers and applause >> i turned 60 >> jimmy: you turned 60 years old? that doesn't make sense to me. >> me either [ scattered cheers ] >> jimmy: it doesn't make sense to you, no >> it's good >> jimmy: i got to say, this book, by the way, congratulations on the reviews that're coming in. you're getting a lot of praise because you're very honest about things - your sobriety, your divorce. it's gotta be pretty tough to write a memoir in some ways. >> i didn't -- i didn't -- i never thought i'd write a book it was the last thing on my mind and, you know, they just kept asking and i was a father at 55, and then, you know, bob saget died and so, i thought maybe i do have something to say. so, i started writing it, and as i was writing it, i discovered my story. i decided to write the two hardest chapters the first chapter was terrible, my lowest point where i go

>> jimmy: halloween!he man-spreader of the keyboard [ laughter and applause how much space you need? >> steve: we got it. >> jimmy: we got it. gosh sit normal, bud. all right. ♪ thank you, las vegas aces owner, mark davis, for ending the wnba season with a bangs [ laughter and applause >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: he did a good job. >> steve: that's a good one. >> jimmy: he did a good job! >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: he did a great job >> steve: thanked him very profusely. >> jimmy: he ended with a bangs. yeah ♪ thank you, accidentally breaking an olive oil bottle on the ground, for making me go, "you know what let's just move. [ laughter and applause i don't want to clean this up. >> steve: i'm not cleaning this up >> jimmy: yeah, it's going to take me four years to clean that up. >> steve: tiny slivers of glass. >> jimmy: let's get on zillow. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, jack-o-lanterns, for showing me you don't need teeth to be happy. [ applause ] happy. happy pumpkin. ♪ thank you, "the golden bachelor

was a family affair. >> jimmy: yeah how old is - >> luna's 11 >> jimmy: she's 11 >> yeah. >> jimmy:inute of it >> jimmy: yeah, right? >> enjoy it. >> jimmy: it just happens, right? it just -- >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: i'm getting to that, kind of, years of like, "dad, what's a crush i want to have a crush on somebody." i'm like - >> yeah, you've got very little time left, i'm afraid to warn you. >> jimmy: i do, right? >> very little time left >> jimmy: i know, okay >> soak it up. >> jimmy: i'm loving every single thing >> like, this christmas has to be the best time of your life. >> jimmy: oh, my god yeah, it is. she goes, she keeps saying - >> it will be, too >> jimmy: she goes, "when did you have your first crush, dad? i go, "what grade are you in again? fifth -- fifth garde?" i go, "i had mine in sixth." >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then next year when she asks, i'm gonna say "i had mine in seventh. keep pushing it forward. >> oh, just keep pushing it. >> jimmy: what is she into now >> you can always put braces on them even if they need them -- don't need them. >> jimmy

>> jimmy: funny.nominated news anchor who hosts "sunday today with willie geist" which airs every sunday on nbc. willie geist is joining us tonight! [ cheers and applause he's got some scoops i want some news i want some scoops and we got great music tonight she's a grammy winner and her country music "made me do it tour" kicks off this thursday in new york city carly pearce is here tonight [ cheers and applause stick around we'll be right back with chelsea handler, everybody come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: this is such a a perfect fit, and i gom "man, when are they making the movie when is chelsea handler taking over 'daily show'? >> oh, well. whether it's me or not, they should hire a woman. >> jimmy: yeah [ cheers and applause >> so. >> jimmy: i -- i think - >> wouldn't you guys all like to see a woman behind a desk >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely [ cheers and applause (woman) it is high. whenever you are ready. (man) are there any snakes? (woman) nope. (man) are you sure? here we go! (vo

>> jimmy: you're such a treat.y: you kept your hands on the wall the whole time? >> oh, yes, absolutely. yeah. >> jimmy: you're playing the apollo theater as part of the new york comedy festival, which is a big deal. this is a historic theater. >> big deal. >> jimmy: have you played there before? >> no, never. growing up, i would watch showtime at the apollo. >> jimmy: yeah, sandman. >> watch people get booed. you i don't worry about getting bad, people want to come, i think. >> jimmy: they're paying to see you. if you're paying to boo you, they've wasted a good deal of money. >> i think so. i'm excited. i lived in harlem for so long. i walked past the apollo. >> jimmy: it's moments like that that really mean something. >> truly. >> jimmy: it's funny how some of the big things don't mean that much, then the things like the apollo theater -- >> you're absolutely right. >> jimmy: you're on "wipeout" which is on tbs with john cena. >> yes. >> jimmy: that is coming back. >> for season two. >> jimmy: season two right th

and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. please relax. sit. we've got a whole hour and it's -- it's a great time -- happy pumpkin did you know thank you for coming on a very important holiday. it's national pumpkin day, october 26th. why they couldn't wait five days and have this on halloween, i don't know. someone at the pumpkin council speaking of old gourds, "the golden bachelor" is one step closer to choosing the woman he will spend the rest of his week with next i have been looking forward to what's happening next week ever since they announced they were doing this show. next week are the hometown visits, which usually means you meet the parents. but in this case, the parents would have to be around 100 years old. >> we're on our way to hometowns. >> it's going to look a lot different. >> it's very intimidating. >> i didn't think that you should be the new papa. >> are you going to marry my grandma? >> i might. >> jimmy: "or i might just give her a li

the great jimmy earl and kevin stevens are filling in. welcome back, jimmy. >> how are you? we say hello to the paxlovid five, everybody, and. i also would like welcome those of you who are still conscious after the monday night football game. >> you know, the big story in the nfl this weekend, big story every weekend is did taylor swift go to the chiefs game and why? sure enough, she did show up in kansas city yesterday to cheer on travis kelce and also to reveal her new secret handshake with brittany mahomes. patrick mahomes wife, which i have to say is a bummer for us because that's our secret handshake. yeah, right. it's. >> yeah, i guess it works because travis kelce had his best game of the season yesterday. >> he finished with a touchdown. 12 catches 179 yards and 35 friendship bracelets. so what a haul. and then today, the world was treated to a photo of taylor kissing travis on the cheek. and surprisingly, her fans are being very levelheaded about it. the reaction was muted. just killed myself. reasonable height difference. i am screaming. and why wouldn't you be in

be back. >> jimmy: but when? >> now! the show is starting. get to the chopper! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's a chopper? >> there always is a chopper. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- arnold schwarzenegger, and music from jason isbell and the 400 unit, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i appreciate that. i'm the host. oh, actually, that's very kind. i have one thing i have to take care of. apparently -- apparently while we were gone, they've been renting our studio out as a pickleball court. [ laughter ] sorry, guys. you can't play here. you have to wrap it up, take it some place else. i'm sorry. try james corden's studio, he moved to england. [ laughter and applause. >> jimmy: thanks. well, hi, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. i don't know about yourself either. in case you have forgotten, my name is jimmy. i have been off the air for five months. we've been gone so long, the b

here comes jimmy carter. former president carter said ofy all his years in politics and public itlife, that's his favorite. watch out, guinea worm, here comes jimmy carter. so happy 99th birthday, mr. president. middle east peace may still be a work in progress but this other goal, you might get to cross it off your list. jimmy carter turning 99 years old yesterday. with jimmy carter and his global guinea worm eradication program, we have one model for how a former american president can make the best use of his post-presidency years. there are other models, too. and we will talk later on this hour about the remarkable scenes in court today in new york. former president donald trump deciding to be in the courtroom today in new york even though he did not have to be. this today was the civil case brought against trump and his adult sons and top employees of his business and his business itself. it is a civil case in which the new york attorney general has alleged insurance fraud and falsified business records

. >>> and it is jimmy carter's 99th birthday. a look at his life and league and the birthday wishes he's getting from people all around the world including willie nelson. >> happy birthday, president carter. i'm thinking about you. i love you. we miss you. and i hope you have a real good one. >>> the iowa caucuses are less than four months away. donald trump, the current republican front-runner, is ramping up campaign efforts in the hawkeye state. elena trina is there and joins us with more. i understand you're hearing that donald trump will be back in court tomorrow. this time in new york. what could you tell us? >> reporter: well, that is right, jim. so we've learned that the former president is expected to travel to new york city tonight. he's wrapping up his iowa events. he so youust finished his rally here and then traveling to a form and is heading to new york city and is expected to appear at the courthouse tomorrow in a civil fraud case. now this case was brought by the new york attorney general letitia james last septemb

jimmy carter turning 99 years old yesterday. and in jimmy carter and his global guinea worm eradication program we have one model for how a former american president can make the best use of his post presidency years. there are other models to. and we will talk later on this hour about the remarkable scenes in court today in new york, former president donald trump deciding to be in the courtroom today in new york even though he did not have to be. this today was the civil case brought against trump and his adult sons and top employees of his business and his business itself. it's a civil case in which the new york attorney general has alleged insurance fraud and falsified business records and falsified financial records. the basic allegation from the attorney general in this lawsuit, is that trump's real estate business it's built on fraud. it's built on systemic, sustained, deliberate, financial fraud. but the attorney general is claiming here is that former president trump's lying insistence that he is way richer than he actua

>>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"!

kimmel's wife, molly mcnearney, is actually an executive producer on jimmy kimmel live.o i guess that makes it better. she must have podcast over. they have two episodes left on strike porch five. i'm obsessed with strike force five. they do that every time they say it on the podcast. i have no idea what they're talking about. oh, it's so much fun. the five of them with john oliver and seth meyers and the three of them. they've had letterman on. they've had jon stewart on. so it's like watching all of the late night at once, but not watching at all. >> you're listening because it's podcast. >> you get a little more late night. yeah. for all your senses. i like it. i'm just glad they're back. i know i need to one to recap how i feel. >> okay. we have good news tuesday coming up next. >> and the 104 year old woman who jumped out of a plane. we'll show you. >> we are a unique law firm that only represents mesothelioma victims and their families. do you have questions about paying medical bills, getting the best medical treatment, finding a specialist or learning about the n

like jimmy carter. people will judge character as not just the defining thing -- some people said fdr would never let his -- he could make up stories. i am not talking about the moral right to tune. -- moral rectitude. but feeling it was honest and you were treated like respect. >> we appreciate>> good afternoe director of the john w -- library of congress. this center is one of the sponsors of this year's festival and are proud to bring beloved writers here.

back. >> jimmy: but when?now! the show is starting.