come on, jimmy. >> jimmy: come on.> you got nothing. >> jimmy: oh my god. i'm right behind you. >> uh, oh. oh, damn it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes! you guys, thank you for -- that was a tough one. "top gear" airs sundays at 10:00 pm on history, and "rescue me" airs wednesday at 10:00 pm on fx. adam ferrera everybody. >> thank you. >> jimmy: my chemical romance performs next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and started earning loads of points. you got a weather balloon with points? yes i did. [ man ] points i could use for just about anything. ♪ ♪ there it is. [ man ] so i used mine to get a whole new perspective. ♪ [ male announcer ] the new citi thankyou premier card gives you more ways to earn points. what's your story? citi can help you write it. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are currently on the road with blink-182, as part of the honda civic tour. and they're here tonight to play a song for us from their album, "danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys." please welcome my

>> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> whew! >> jimmy: yeah.etting closer. i can feel the audience power. [ light laughter ] >> come on! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought you were going to fall down. you're scaring me. oh, my gosh, there they are, right there! the audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> we have to get it in there? >> jimmy: yeah. we got to get it in that bucket. >> ugh. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. [ audience ohs ] that was phenomenal. >> can i throw it? >> jimmy: no! can you throw it? no. that's half the fun of the game. >> i think this is too tight on me, i feel. >> jimmy: oh, stop it. we played the whole round already. [ laughter ] whoa. >> whoa. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: hey. that was good. you got air on that one. >> yeah, right? >> jimmy: all right, now, you're farther away, so you go. i really like these. [ light laughter ] >> i'm going to get this, i feel. >> jimmy: all right, good luck. [ drumroll ] >> all right, with the pressure. [ laughter ] oh! [ laughter ] come on! [ sad tuba ] ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: hey, what

>> jimmy: polo. >> marco. >> jimmy: polo. >> steve: marco. >> jimmy: polo.n86. she says, tornado sirens went off. i wanted to find a safe place. my grandpa said, "if it's our time to die, then so be it." i was only 10. [ laughter ] want some tuna, becca? >> steve: no. well, honey, if it's our time to die, so be it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. [ grunts ] one drag. this one's from @cbrichards. she says, watching campfire with hubby and 12-year-old son, thought it was a cool moment. then son says, "maybe if we keep staring, maybe it will turn into a tv." [ laughter ] this is boring. this fire's lame. [ laughter ] >> steve: garrison. >> jimmy: what? i hate that name, too. >> steve: don't call me that. >> jimmy: call me gary. [ laughter ] >> steve: don't ever call me garrison. >> jimmy: don't you ever, ever, ever, in your life call me garrison. [ laughter ] and turn that fire down. [ laughter ] it's too loud! [ laughter ] >> steve: honey, just let him be. [ laughter ] he just has to sleep off the shrooms, and then he'll -- >> jimmy: leave me alone. you get

>> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: do you speak english? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: perfect.s your name? >> austin. >> jimmy: what's on your neck? >> my them? a bow tie. hello kitty. >> jimmy: you got that tattooed on your neck? >> yeah, i stole it. >> jimmy: you stole it? >> yeah, don't tell her. >> jimmy: believe me, i -- what's that on your arm there, it looks like -- >> it's gaga kitty. >> jimmy: wow. you are -- you've got completely gaga, haven't you? >> yeah, or hello kitty, so. >> jimmy: who do you like better, if you had to choose one? >> gaga for sure. >> jimmy: okay, but if hello kitty was here, you might have a different story? >> no, they might have a fight. >> jimmy: are you aware that hello kitty is fictional? >> a cartoon. not fictional. >> jimmy: okay, all right, i got it. let's talk to somebody else. >> my name is lacy. >> jimmy: lacy. hi, lacy. your hair looks like delicious cotton candy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i mean, really. like, if i was at a baseball game, i would probably start eating it. >> it's all my real hair, too. >> jimmy: real hair? what about

>> jimmy: yeah, french fries! >> jimmy! >> jimmy: that's my secret ingredient. i didn't invent them -- but, and then, my ketchup i put a little sriracha in there. >> mmhmm. >> jimmy: into -- yeah. sriracha, this stuff. have you ever had this stuff? >> i have -- i love sriracha. >> jimmy: oh man, i put it on everything. it's the greatest. >> i love sriracha. >> jimmy: all right, so i'm going to do it up, like that. i got potato buns. that's the other secret. i like that. >> you got potato buns? >> jimmy: let me just do this, yeah. i'm going to put -- so then -- >> you made your own potato buns? [ laughter ] cause i made -- i made my ground beef. i was grinding the beef in the greenroom with my own hands. >> jimmy: oh, you -- it must have been so tough. [ light laughter ] gosh, dude -- >> it was tough. >> jimmy: fabio, i do love you but i'm going to beat you at this, i think. we're going to have the burger off. >> this is not -- >> jimmy: here's what i do. i do a little of this ketchup sriracha and then -- you're going to be the judge. do you mind, stephen? [ laug

] >> jimmy: whoa.ample magic trick. [ laughter ] you ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. pick a card, any card. [ laughter ] don't show me. i'm not looking. okay. show it to the audience. all right, now place the card back on in deck. [ laughter ] was this your card? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] magic. all right. she's got 492 points, which is the most you can possibly get. you think you can top it? >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. let's spin that wheel of carpet samples! there you go, buddy! give it a good spin. [ drumroll ] aggressive. aggressive spin. watch out. yeah, that's good. i don't want you to -- don't want to fall off and we'll roll out of here together. [ laughter ] that was a great spin, my man. which one are you looking at? >> i'm going for the mystery. >> jimmy: oh my god. i wonder what it is. oh, "iguana mirage." ♪ you got "iguana mirage." you know what that means. let's put three seconds on the clock. when i say go, you have to name as many things as you possibly can. read

>> jimmy: yeah. >> wow. >> jimmy: yeah.m here and you're there, i guess. [ laughter ] anyways, thanks for coming here. i appreciate that. that's awesome. hey, we got a huge show tonight. the lovely, the charming katie holmes is here! [ cheers and applause ] oh, i love katie holmes. this guy is a judge on "master chef," owns a ton of great restaurants, awesome guy, joe bastianich is here. [ cheers and applause ] good wine, too. >> steve: gonna have some of that. >> jimmy: a good man. and we got some great music from the kills tonight! [ cheers and applause ] oh, man. they're good, good, good stuff. oh, my gosh. what a fun show. hey, ladies and gentlemen, it is time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. time for "pros and cons." here we go. ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, we will be taking a look at the "pros and cons" of congress being on vacation. that's right. congress is currently in the middle of a five-week break. tak

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. that's the new york city crowd! right there, everybody. welcome! welcome to "late night --" welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hey, this is nice. today, michelle obama urged her husband's supporters to sign an e-card for his 50th birthday, which explains why joe biden has magic marker all over his computer screen. [ laughter ] hey, here's an election update. fox news will host the next republican primary debate on august 11th, in iowa. yeah, fox news will ask some tough questions like, "how much better are you than obama?" "why is obama such a bad president?" and, "man, can you believe we elected that guy?" [ laughter ] it's gonna be very interesting. hey, this is cool. i heard that later this year, india will introduce a $35 laptop. it's weird buying a computer in india, 'cause when you call t

>> yeah. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: watermelon's good.g in it, right? >> i mean, it's like -- i don't know what it is. i dream about it. >> jimmy: i hope the baby doesn't come out covered with -- red and covered with seeds. >> if it's a healthy baby, that's all -- >> jimmy: do you know what you're going to name the baby? >> i don't. we were actually talking about it this morning, funny enough. it's hard to follow a name like honor because honor's such a -- >> jimmy: honor's your daughter's name. >> it's a good name. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a solid name but you can't cheat on anything in school or anything when your name's honor. >> well, yeah, i mean -- >> jimmy: there's a whole system named after you. you have to abide by it. >> yeah. a lot of pressure for the kid. and, you know, so cash and i were talking and, you know, he came up with this name and i was like, you know, we want to let our kid, you know, be able to be a rocket scientist or a painter or, you know, you want to be able to, like, allow your kid to do anything with the name.

] >> jimmy. >> jimmy: how -- >> jimmy, go stand over there!nd over there and see what it feels like. it feels the same as sitting over there. why are you in my desk? why are you at my desk? >> ah, i love this. you don't understand, folks. this feels so good right now. i -- i would -- oh, my god. no, that looks bad. i would -- i would stab my girlfriend in the head to have this show. i would. just so nice and you got your stuff. look at this. you got your cough drops. i can imagine you had an assistant run out to get them for you. you have the pencils like letterman. hey, look at me, how do you like that? you got -- by the way, this is stuff off of -- you doing all right over there? >> jimmy: i'm fine. >> how does it feel? >> jimmy: it feels a little awkward. >> you got your nail clipper. that's w wt jimmy does when the actor is boring. an actor will be telling a story, he's like, oh, yeah, that's real good. you got the nail clippers. the tissues. excuse me. so -- how -- i don't know what to do now. this is harder than i thought. do a joke. >>

>> i actually hadn't seen that till now so thanks. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: to come full circle at abc. we get you together and then we break you up later in the night. so you hadn't seen that. go ahead and have a discussion. we'll -- >> we'll talk about it later. >> i'm in trouble now, jimmy, thank you. >> jimmy: well, listen. he would have found out one way or the other. i'm glad it was in front of friends. and now your sister also caused quite a commotion. >> i know. >> jimmy: and -- i still -- i can't believe that -- if it was me, i don't know if i'd ever forget it. maybe in ten years or something like that. tonight on the -- after the rose show, you said it was all water under the bridge and you were willing to forgive and kind of forget and move past. i don't buy that for one second. >> she's been nothing but sweet and supportive since we got back. it's as if i don't even know who that person was back in fiji. totally different person. >> jimmy: we've been good to japan since the war too, i mean it's -- [ laughter ] you know, it's -- let's take a look a

>> jimmy: yeah. >> i love you, dad! >> jimmy: yeah! yeah!ter just half of one episode. [ laughter ] hey, you guys, horatio sanz, right here. go see him at the ucb august 14th. or somewhere around there. horatio sanz, everybody. we'll be right back with wwe superstar, triple h! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ also get a free flight. you know that comes with a private island. really? no. it comes with a hat. you see, airline credit cards promise flights for 25,000 miles, but... [ man ] there's never any seats for 25,000 miles. frustrating, isn't it? but that won't happen with the capital one venture card. you can book any airline anytime. hey, i just said that. after all, isn't traveling hard enough? ow. [ male announcer ] to get the flights you want, sign up for a venture card at capitalone.com. what's in your wallet? uh, it's okay. i've played a pilot before. wha complete adult multivitamin onein a gummyacraves. with ingredients to support energy, immunity and your inner child. one a day vitacraves. multivitamin gummies for grown-ups. host: could

>> doing great, jimmy. >> jimmy: am i better than harrison ford? you're doing great, jimmy. >> jimmy: jon demanded $20 million and a percentage of the gross to direct the show tonight. we went back and forth for six weeks and finally we agreed on -- >> nothing. free. but we're going to plug "cowboys and aliens," right, jimmy? >> jimmy: i've not heard of this but yes, think we probably will. by the way, you did a great job withthhe movie. it's a t te story of cowboys fighting aliens. it's in how many "d" is the movie, jon? >> i believe we have two of them. 2-d. back in the old days, cowboys, everything was 2-d and we wanted to be historically accurate. >> jimmy: i didn't know that. and what is this thing i have here? >> well, it's upside down but it's the wrist blaster that daniel craig actually wears in the movie. >> jimmy: yeah? >> and it's -- actual prop from the film. >> jimmy: and it actually works? >> yes, it does. so don't pull that -- jimmy, don't pull on that handle because that thing's hot. >> jimmy: okay. i don't feel like i did pull on t

and, now, above all, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi there. i'm jimmy.how. thank you for coming. thank you for ignoring the very serious problems facing our country to watch the show tonight. as you probably heard, the united states' credit rating has been downgraded to aa plus. which, am i the only one who thinks that sounds pretty good? i'd settle for a dd plus myself. apparently, this is a very bad thing. because aa is short for "ah, the economy's about to be destroyed." the president took his family to the olive garden this weekend. his credit card got declined. it's embarrassing. standard & poor's, which is the company that downgraded us, said our credit rating could drop even lower. in case you don't understand what a credit rating downgrade means to a country, basically, you know that cousin that asked you for $900 to get his deejay company off the ground? that's us. that's what we are to china ght now, we're cousin ray. we owe china more than $1 trillion. and i don't know where we're going to get $1 trillion. here's what i propose. instead of pay

hello, men. >> hello, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you?or those who don't know, these guys were the first band ever to play our show back in january of 2003 and you haven't been heard from since. what have you been doing for the last eight and a half years? >> will worked at fedex and the rest of us run a pet shop. >> jimmy: you started the band in college and now you're back in college there at ucla. have you always dreamed of playing on a tennis court? >> always. >> absolutely. >> this and bowling alleys are our specialty. >> jimmy: maybe if there's a lull in the show later we can have a quick round of doubles or something. >> okay. >> jimmy: thanks for coming back, guys. we'll see you in person later on the show. it's coldplay. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: hey, this is exciting. the group that puts on the academy awards, the academy of motion pictures, arts and sciences has announces that oprah will be the recipient of an honorary oscar this year. do people just hand oprah awards any time she walks into a room now? she will receive a

hi, jimmy. it's me, jimmy. hey! great hearing from me. what's up, handsome? have you seen the lineup for the samsung at&t summer krush concert series? it looks great. yes. i know. i just saw you say it. oh. well, good talking to you then. good talking to you, too. i love me. i love me, too. really a great guy. >> dicky: for more information on the samsung at&t summer krush concert series and the openini act contest, visit samsungsummerkrush2011.com. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with jerry springer, music from incubus and jesse eisenberg. ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] new 100% natural lipton iced tea. you are what you tea. [ female announcer ] new 100% natural lipton iced tea. you don't have the app store. so you don't have the world's largest selection of apps, that are this easy to find.. and this easy to download right to your phone. so it can be almost anything.. like a b brding pass. or do almost anything.. like pay for your coffee. the app store. just one more thing that makes an iphone an iphone. >>> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel

>> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you.'ll have music from coldplay tomorrow night, so join us for that. if you're a fan of "the simpsons" and you are, you have our first guest to thank for roughly 140 character voices from apu to chief wiggum and mo to dr nick. now he puts his face in a cartoon in the new 3d movie "the smurfs." it's in theaters now. please say hello to hank azaria. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? how are you doing?good. >> jimmy: i'm good. you must be excited. this movie is big. >> we kicked blue butt. >> jimmy: i'm a little too old for the smurfs. i was kind of surprised it was a big deal. >> i was mildly surprised myself. i was too old when they rose to power in the '80s. but i watched itt anyway, becaue i'm really immature. i really did. >> jimmy: how old is your son now? >> he's 2. >> jimmy: so, he's not old enough to appreciate the smurfs yet? >> we brought him to the premiere. we figured he would be good for 20 minutes. he watched the whole movie with the little 3d glasses on. every ti

jimmy takes the form of a pit bull head. >> jimmy always around. jimmy, jimmy.w, me and jimmy have some interactions the last few weeks. some of it has been good. some of it has been bad. but they put me on a new med. i told them if i feel and jimmy feels that it's making me slow in any shape or form, i'm going to get off the medication because i don't like to be down. i like to be up. >> corey's decision to go off his medication not only affects him but his new cellmate, jonathan elliott, who must cope with both corey and jimmy. >> did you brush your teeth today? >> no. >> that's crazy [ bleep ]. toothbrush so little. >> he's all right. hard to live with. it's just he has two personalities. it's kind of tough living in this cell. there's only two bunks in here, but when there's three people in here it gets really crowded. when you have three personalities in here, it's not the easiest thing in the world to deal with. >> like you perfect. >> i'm not saying i'm perfect either, but other people feel the same way. >> that's crazy. >> but i don't mind him at all. he

>> charlie: jimmy doyle. >> jimmy: yeah. >> charlie: charlie kelly. >> jimmy: yeah. charlie: from high school. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i-i didn't recognize you without all your acne. >> charlie: yeah. ( laughter ) yeah. all right, listen, i need to talk to you about your kid. >> jimmy: why? >> charlie: uh, let's see. because your kid has serious emotional problems. >> jimmy: why? >> charlie: oh, i don't know. maybe because you're not there for him as a father. >> jimmy: why? >> charlie: you're kidding me? >> jimmy: why? >> charlie: let's do it again. >> jimmy: why? >> charlie: 'cause of what you're doing. >> jimmy: why? >> charlie: 'cause what you're doing to me. >> jimmy: why? why? >> august 4, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: so nice to see you. on tonight's show, senator dick durbin from the gang of six, the gang of six. yo yo. you know to, get into the gang of six, they beat you inch i don't know if you

. >>> if you only know jimmy fallon from his tv show, you don't know the real jimmy fallon. yes, he may well be the funniest guy in late night tv. he's a veteran of "saturday night live" and an author. he's even got his own ice cream flavor. behind all the laughter is another jimmy fallon. >> piers, you're not going to make me cry, buddy. i saw what you did with oprah. >> the real jimmy fallon. >> properly in love? properly in love, what are you saying? what are you -- >> jimmy fallon, the prime-time cable exclusive, this is "piers morgan tonight." jimmy fallon, your new book is called "thank you notes." we all know them from your show. brilliant, simple idea. >> very quick. you know, when you start a talk show, a late night talk show, you always hope for like the top ten list or the headlines like leno has or whatever like that. we try different things every week. this guy jeremy bronston came up with the thank you notes. it was with one off. we tried it, wrote sarcastic thank you notes, twitter, facebook blew up. my god, thank you notes did it again. guys, we might have a

last night on "late night with jimmy fallon," jimmy talked about the public's reaction to how congress handled the debt ceiling negotiations. >>> listen to this, a new poll found that 77% of americans think lawmakers acted like spoiled children during the debt ceiling debate. yeah. in response, lawmakers issued a statement saying na-ah, we don't act like spoiled children. a recent survey found that 67% of people relied more on their computer than their dog. i can see why. when i ask my computer who played the bad guy in "die hard" it said allen rickman. when i asked dog, he said which die hard? there's been like four of them. >>> charlie sheen checked his ex-wife brooke mueller out of rehab. which begs the question, which kind of rehab facility lets charlie sheen check anybody out. "late night with jimmy fallon" week nights at 12:30, 111:35. >>> in case you have any doubt remaining that charlie sheen will never return to "two and a half men," this should put an end to it. various reports say in the season's opener starring sheen's replacement, ashton kutcher, the character sheen played

he said, anything jimmy wants to do. jimmy wants to do it, yeah, let him do it.be great. we did it and he liked it and he had to promote "darkness on the edge of town" box set. amazing box set, by the way, if you get this. has a notebook with all his scraps and lyrics. amazing box set. so he didn't do any shows but our show. i used to do neil young. i did this impersonation of neil young on the show. i said, would you want to do maybe a duet with me as neil young singing willow smith's "whip my hair"? ♪ whip my hair back and forth ♪ whip my hair back and forth but it's as neil young. ♪ whip my hair back and forth he was like, i like that. that's good. that's good. his manager calls and said bruce wants to dress as young bruce. can you get him a floppy hat. he's bring his own sunglasses from the "born to run" tour. he goes, you got the floppy hat? get the floppy hat. i get the floppy hat and we do the whole thing. i said, also we have a wig for you, too. cindy lou and courtney have a wig. he goes, no, no, no wig. what are you trying to do? i don't want to wear a w

jimmy carter kind of prepresidential jimmy carter, postpresidential jimmy carter can a presidential jimmycarter is all the same person. he is the same goals, same personality, did the same kinds of things. we hear a lot today about what a wonderful ex-president, but really hasn't done more as an ex-president than he did before he came president and why he did in the circumstances in which he was able to work of course were vastly different once he was freed from the restraints of the office of being president and plus added boost but that position gave him. but he is still the same -- he's still very much the same name. there's probably a few republicans in michigan who disagree with that, but anyway they are entitled to their opinion. the book begins with the ancestry and first introduction is called the carders and the smiths. i had a huge battle with the editor to keep as much as the ancestry in it as is still in it and i won about half of the battle. about half of it got lost. but the interesting part was kept in a period the carter family, of course the original one in america showed

go ahead, governor. >> dylan, i think susan and jimmy are both right. i think this is an area where the president needs to step up. and he needs not to do politics. he needs to do substance, and he should do substance, because the best politics is good government, and people want their president to lead. even if they don't necessarily agree with it. if it's a plan that's workable and can get things done, i think people will appreciate that. i think the president should outline a bold plan. i love the infrastructure bank. i think we need the infrastructure bank. but it only helps us in private dollars in. private dollars aren't going to repair up a the thing we need to repair because many can never have a return on investment. >> not to mention the tax code and -- >> absolutely. >> the loopholes, jimmy williams had a narrative on. >> the president's got to come in big. we talked about the grand plan. if we're going get the economy straightened out, if we're going to do this, the president should put on the table his big vision, the big plan. but he also

last night on "late night with jimmy fallon," jimmy equated the red sox with the economic woes. >> theyankees are lost all four of their series against the red sox. that explains why today, the s&p downgraded the yankees to the mets. there's been some rough economic news. yesterday, the dow fell 634 points and went below the 11,000 mark. all i can say is it's a good thing all my money is tied up in beanie babies. yeah. i got happy the hippo, the gray one. yeah. hard to grab. listen to this. yesterday, rush limbaugh accused president obama of trying to inflict as much damage as possible in four years. and then, rush limbaugh's chair accused him of doing the same thing. come on, man. just stand up. am i atlas? come on, man. >> tonight, jimmy welcomes "jersey shore's" snooki, sportscaster, joe buck. that's "late night with jimmy fallon." at 12:35. >>> it's time for your first look at entertainment news. hollywood schedulers have come up with the battle of big screen titans for later this year, during christmas week. in one corner will be opening of johnny depp's "the lone ranger." in the

. >> and has president obama momp morphed into jimmy carter? the factor begins right now. captions by closed captioning services >> bill: hi, i'm bill o'reilly. thanks for watching us tonight. is president obama really responsible for the bad economy? that is the subject of this evening's talking points memo. last night we had a very lively debate with rodgers and ben stein about president obama's role in a dismal economy. mr. stein believes the president is a positive when it comes to economic matters saying his vision of government stimulus is a good thing. i, of course, disagree and i believe the facts back me up. mr. rogers says the president is a neutral for the economy. that it is congress who is most responsible for the out-of-control spending. again, i disagree. president obama is the leader of his party and democrats control both houses of congress for the first two years of his administration. clearly mr. obama sets the tone for how the american economy is presented to the world and the stats are grim; since barack obama took office t

jimmy, karen and susan are all here. small plans playing out congress just reach add deal to end the partial faa shutdown that left tens of thousands with a paycheck and compromising our ongoing safety work but the overall further per sermgs of our government's ability to actually make decisions with a shared purpose that is in a positive direction and shared values to do it. governor, unfair to look at this faa latest as a microcosm of exactly what we're talking about? >> absolutely pathetic. absolute pathetics. we're letting union politics get in the way of safety, get in the way of construction projects, get in the way of the federal government collecting hundreds of millions of dollars in taxes. it was pathetic and give harry reid a little credit. talk was the president was in the room during this process and he tried hard to do association but harry reid i think has been great throughout the entire process and my understanding harry brokered this and put it together. >> and susan, you've been talking how politicians

that's what i think jimmy -- jimmy's idea, we had a conversation yesterday. >> right. >> it just to -- a fundamental problem. >> again, this is the aligned interests of every one of the 300 million americans. even the one whose are winning right now, i believe, are fearful, because they know that the way that they're winning is by rigging the game, which is apparently dangerous. so while the losers are irate, even the winners in this system, i think, are anxious, at the very best. some are actually very afraid. one of the things that i would add i don't know whether you and jimmy williams talked about it yesterday when you were discussing the early drafting, how important is it that anything that -- not only draws a crisp line across all money in politics, but also draws a crisp line around the revolving door so there's not payoffs coming out ask one thing to prevent the payoffs while coming in or while there, there's a whole other big batch of payoffs in the years following as we've seen from everybody at the sec to minerals in mining management, the list goes on. >> well, i agree. t

>> susan, karen, jimmy. he's saying, listen, as long as the federal reserve prints money in a way that congress can spend it correctly, that's okay. is that a fair characterization for you? >> i don't have the problem with the federal reserve -- >> i couldn't disadpree with that more. for the simple reason that allowing the fabrication of money without capital, without capital requirements, without any intrinsic value, releases the natural inhibitor to risktaking. in other words, the sooner they take the capital out and allow nstead of having to hang allow on a second, kro want to do that, i don't have that natural inhibition, this runaway with risk. is that a fair characterization, david? >> yes. rick perry used the wrong word. he should have said stupid, destructive, another huge windfall for speculators, that will harm the middle class economy, that will punish laborers. >> a bigger point. which is that the federal reserve isn't the problem. the federal reserve is covering up the problem. the problem is,

let me start with you, jimmy. the super committee put together all eyes are on this now, some talk also, though, about how e the, you know, the lobbyists -- i'm sure there will be 100 lobbyists for every 1 or more waiting to put pressure on them. how do you see it playing out right now, jummy? >> every lobbyist in washington is on vacation, but all on blackberry, not a smart way of spending your vacation. luke russert made interesting points about some of these members. i want to bring out three other ones, though. all three republicans. jon kyl, the number two republican in the senate, he is retiring from the senate, arizona. he is a member of the finance committee. a thoughtful member. a very much, a policy man. a smart guy, and he's not going to be beholden. don't get me wrong. jon kyl is as conservative as they come. not beholden to the idiots lie grover norquist. others, fred upton of michigan. chairman of the energy and commerce committee. spread a thoughtful member of congress. fred's been in the congress.

. >> dicky: up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- jamie foxx. >> jimmy: that's xaps when you wearah print sheet. >> you got it, baby. >> jimmy: obama continues his

on the last late night with jimmy fallon, jimmy was in a singing mood and to back him up, brian williams made a special appearance. >> i want to slow gin the news and i'm not the only one. >> with the deadline it reach a deal looming this tuesday, democrats and republicans find themselves at a stalemate over the nation's debt ceiling. that's the cap on the amount of debt our government can borrow. >> oh, yeah. i can't get no sleep at night because all the moaning and groaning on capitol hill. obama's on his knees begging for compromise in positions. you know what they say. anytime democrats and republicans come together, somebody's getting screwed. >> somebody's getting screwed. ♪ it's all right >> brian williams. such a good sport there. tonight jimmy welcomes lou dobbs and musical guest tonigon yards. all right. it is time now for your first look at entertainment news. the box office battle between cowboy, aliens an smurfs ended in an unexpected tie. cowboys and aliens took in around $36.2 million about $4 million short of expectations. those were slightly disappointing numbers conside

last night on "late night with david jimmy fallon," jimmy nailed the current generation on its obsessionlogy. >> in a recent survey, 60% of teenagers said they're highly addicted to their cell phones. the other 40 important were like -- [ laughter ] >> one second, i'm sorry. what were you saying? hold on a second. gary's awesome. this is cool, i heard that later this year india will introduce a $35 laptop. it's weird buying a computer in india because when you call tech support your own cell phone rings. hello? have you tried unplugging it? you know i did -- control-alt-delete. >> tonight jimmy welcomes former s&l cast member horatio sands and triple h. that's weeknights at 12:35, 11:35 central on your local nbc station. >>> time for your first look at entertainment news. this weekend at the box office, audiences are ready to go ape. "rise of the planet of the apes" starring james franco is the latest from a franchise that kicked off way back in 1968. the ape films have always drawn well. this one has actually received some very good reviews. experts see it taking first place with around

and last night on "late night with jimmy fallon," jimmy talked about a new product he's obviously notng forward to. >> hey, guys, i heard that 7-eleven is now selling potato chips that taste like hot dogs. seriously? i'm still waiting for 7-eleven to sell hot dogs that taste like hot dogs. what is that brown thing? hey, check this out. a new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. yeah. the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gain more weight after marriage. travel in new york is still crazy because of the hurricane. in fact, they lost a woman's cat at jfk. and the airline -- the airline put out food and water to try and lure it back. that is unbelievable. not that a cat was lost, that an airline is actually offering food and water. i want to get a ticket on that one. >> on "jimmy" tonight, actress christina ricci, animal handler jack nuzeal and comedian jim gaffigan. 11:35 central time on your local nbc station. >>> it is time for your first look at entertainment news. george clooney is losing a big upco

last night on late night with jimmy fall gone, jimmy was happy to announce that the big debate was overy rounds of negotiation and compromise on both sides, a deal was finally reached. that's right. my wife would go see cowboys and and i wiliens while he goi sei smurfs. mcdonald's is planning on opening a restaurant every day in china for the next four years. when kids get their happy meal toy, they're like, cool, i made this. >> big sports news. plaxico burress is returning to no torq new york to play with the jets. which explains that new chant, j-e-t-s. >> tonight jimmy welcomes danny mcbride, and musical guest the sheepdogs. that's week nights at 12:35, 11:35 central time on your local nbc station. >>> time for your first look at entertainment news. apparently owning your own tv network isn't all it's cracked up to be. after a week on the job, oprah winfrey says running her tv channel own is "ten times harder" than working on her talk show, and she's finding it difficult to adjust. >>> talk about a dame. 66-year-old actress dame helen miran beat out elle mcpherson, and pippa middlet

jimmy carter didn't look so great in the end because the last part of the chapter on jimmy carter had to do hostage situation and the failed rescue attempt. actually the first of the chapter she was actually doing fairly well with a lot of difference with the middle east and china and a lot of areas as he was working on. but he was completely undone by the hostage situation and by the outcome of that rescue mission which was a complete disaster. maybe not on the domestic side, but i think there was that last year or so of the presidency. >> george w. bush is interesting. he was completely, the 9/11 and the whole war on terrorism kind of overshot chapter as it did the whole presidency. during that whole time during the presidency would and should be the entire presidency but half of the presidency. you do have presidencies going on that were unresolved, and that we're not going well and it wasn't the situation that you would want to say okay here is a very successful outcome as he's leaving office. we get into the two chapters on obama where you were still dealing with afghanistan and

. >> the most anti-business policies we have seen since jimmy carter. >> more than 100 c.l.'s pledge to halt campaign contributions until washington gets its act together. after 40 years in power, gaddafi is on the rhine. >> the regime is finished. >> at a memorial dedicated to the memory of dr. martin luther king jr.. captioned by the national captioning institute --www.ncicap.org-- let me be up front, we are somewhat focused on a national events in washington -- natural events in washington. hurricane irene is speeding up the east coast. we also had an earthquake, unusual for us. i think it is fair to say that it generally scared the hell out of a lot of people. the beauty of our business is that we can work politics into just about anything. as irene does for worse, let's talk about the debate in the republican party about climate change. rick perry says it is a scientific theory that has not been proven to jon holtzma -- jon huntsman told a capper that if republicans position themselves as the anti-size but, it will cost them 2012. >> it is what the national academy of sc

. >> dicky: up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: it turns out that perry was at one timeemocrat, but just once in college, he was experimenting. >> dicky: joel mchale. >> i began

jimmy kallstrom and others made some calls.ere was one job in particular he was really interested in. it paid $350,000 a year, but it also had a special kind of significance for o'neill. it was chief of security at those buildings ramzi yousef had tried to destroy, the world trade center. >> and i joked with him. i said, "well, that will be an easy job. they're not going to bomb that place again." and he said... he says, "well, actually..." he immediately came back, and he said, "now, actually, they've always wanted to finish that job. i think they're going to try again." and of course, that's something i'll just never forget. >> narrator: on the night of september 10, john o'neill did what he loved doing, and he did it from his favorite table at elaine's. >> it was classic john. i... to this day, i can remember john sitting in a chair looking up at me with that... that classic john o'neill smile, saying, "doesn't get better than this." >> narrator: the talk, of course, turned to bin laden. >> he had said to me, "we're due, and

karen, susan, jimmy. coming up here, match game has new dna brought the fbi any closer to catching d.b. cooper? the results next. on our car insurance. great! at progressive, you can compare rates side by side, so you get the same coverage, often for less. wow! that is huge! [ disco playing ] and this is to remind you that you could save hundreds! yeah, that'll certainly stick with me. we'll take it. go, big money! i mean, go. it's your break, honey. same coverage, more savings. now, that's progressive. call or click today. whose non-stop day starts with back pain... and a choice. take advil now and maybe up to four in a day. or choose aleve and two pills for a day free of pain. way to go, coach. ♪ way to go, coach. navigating today's real estate market is complicated. you've seen the signs. that's why having the right real estate agent is more important than ever. at remax.com, you can find experts in short sales or bank-owned properties or commercial real estate, agents who can help speed up the process

last night jimmy fallon focused on how the economic downturn has affected one particular web giant. >ead aol stocks 20%. it's not good. when i signed up the guy was like, welcome, can i crash at your place for a while? you've got a few ton, right? it's fine. during a call with investors rupert murdoch said news corp. made $2.7 billion. murdoch said if investors had any questions, they should contact him by leaving a message on their own voice mails. i'll check them later, i'll check them later. this isn't good. after all the rioting in london officials are wondering it could mean security problems for the olympics next year. the guy running with the torch will just blend right in. >> tonight jimmy welcomes julia styles, musical case they mon poll la. that's weeknights at 12:35, 11:35 central on your local nbc station. it is time for your first look at entertainment. a classic battle of the champion versus eager newcomers is shaping up at the box office this weekend. the defending champ is "rise of the planet of the apes" which out performed expectations. experts think in defense of th

and brian williams stopped "late night with jimmy fallon" to explain the session in a slow-jam session. ♪ the fears of the nation could go into default for the first time in all of history, democrat harry reid and republican mitch mcconnell are working upon a bill that is capable of passing both houses to end this mounting crisis ♪ ♪ hmm sounds like congress has a mounting crisis and the tea party isn't pleased by mitch mcconnell jumping into bed with harry reid and telling him to move mitch get out the way ♪ ♪ get back jimmy fallon, you don't know him like that ♪ [ female announcer ] this is not a prescription. this is kate. [ kate ] can't believe i have high blood pressure. what's that thing? another medication. ♪ i really should have taken my shoes off before i got weighed. [ female announcer ] you've got a lot on your mind. that's why every walgreens prescription goes through a 10 point safeguard check that reviews your current walgreens health record for allergies and potentially harmful drug interactions. [ kate ] i can do this. [ female announcer ] the 10 point safeguard check f

jimmy carter did not come out looking so great in the end because the last part of the chapter on jimmy carter had to do with the iran hostage situation and the failed rescue attempt. the first bits of the carter chapter he was actually doing fairly well with a lot of different -- with the middle east, with china with a lot of areas that he was working on. but he was completely undone by the hostage situation and by the outcome of that rescue mission which was a complete disaster and so i think sort of if you took the carter presidency it would have been stopped and it would have been successfully in terms of the foreign policy piece. it was the last year or so of his presidency and that's why he came out in that way because that was the end of the chapter. >> what about george w. bush seven >> george w. bush was completely -- the 9/11 and the whole war on terrorism kind of overshadowed that chapter as it did overshadow his whole presidency when i think that at the time -- i mean, we were working on this book during that whole time, during his presidency, well, not the entire presidency