that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, i'm so -- >> i got to tell you i'm a little nervous. >> jimmy: oh, here, man. >> jason: yeah, of course. >> jimmy: now, walter, have you done a lot of acting before this movie? >> well, you know, it's funny you should ask that. actually the way that they found me is i was swimming laps at the beverly hills hilton -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> and this guy comes up and he says, "hey, have you ever considered acting?" and i was like, "no." you know, all i was considering, really, is how i was going to get away with swimming in this pool when i'm not a guest. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. exactly. of course. now, was walter your first choice, jason, when you cast him? >> jason: walter was -- >> i was his first choice. >> jason: close to my first choice. >> what? >> jimmy: who was your -- >> my first choice was michael cera. >> jimmy: but wait a second. [ laughter ] he's not a -- michael cera's not a muppet. he's a -- >> jason: this wasn't even originally a muppet movie. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: walter, but you're a big fan of the mupp

>> yeah. >> jimmy: oh wait. >> "the dictator." >> jimmy: "the dictator." >> just finished it. >> jimmyt extraordinary? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it is very interesting that we both say "tomahto." yeah. i shouldn't, yeah, 'cause i'm from new york. that's weird. i want to show everyone a clip from the movie "hugo," with the great ben kingsley. it's in -- the night before thanksgiving. "hugo." ♪ >> fix it. >> i know you've been stealing parts from the shop. might as well use those you haven't stolen yet. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> you've got a bit of talent. >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] he's really impressed. you are the man. "hugo" is in theaters next wednesday. do not miss it. sir ben kingsley. we'll talk to felicity jones after the break. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cellphone rings ] cut! [ monica ] i have a small part in a big movie. i thought we'd be on location for 3 days, it's been 3 weeks. so, i used my citi simplicity card to pick up a few things. and i don't have to worry about a late fee. which is good... no! bigger! bigger! [ monica ] ...because i don't think we're going anywher

jimmy kimmel -- >> -- the two jimmy's, yes. >> jimmy: -- yeah.ck, and we're about to go on -- and next to the back stage they had like a monitor showing like the order -- rundown of the show. >> mm-hmm. >> so they have jane's opening. it says "jane's musical opening" -- and then next is j. kimmel/j. fason. [ laughter ] f-a-f-o-n. and jimmy pointed, he goes, "look at that, they misspelled your name." i hosted last year! i hosted the show. >> i know. >> jimmy: utter disrespect. >> i will find out, and heads will roll. >> jimmy: j. fafon. [ laughter ] it was unbelievable. but, you did a great job with that. >> oh, thank -- thank you. >> jimmy: congrats on "happy accident." >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wrote a memoir. it's very good. >> thank you. >> jimmy: what made you -- what made you decide to write a memoir? >> i don't know that i decided to do that. it was kind of a "happy accident," if you will. i had written a bunch of speeches for different organizations and -- and like hrc, and a bunch of gay organizations. and

they're good. >> hey, jimmy. hey, jimmy. let me do one. >> jimmy: okay. >> can i do one?od ahead. >> shout out to my cat brum. [ laughter ] today's his birthday. i love him so much. i know he's watching this at home. can i tell him something? >> jimmy: uh, yeah. go ahead. >> okay. [ light laughter ] hey, brum. hey, there. hey, brum-ster. hope you're having a good birthday. i love you so much, brum. hey, brum. get down. get off the couch. brum, brum, you get down there right now. brum, stop misbehaving! damn it, brum! get down now! damn it! what are you doing? what the hell are you doing? what's wrong with you? ha-ha. [ laughter ] sorry, jimmy. you know, brum's always up to no good. >> jimmy: well, it is his birthday, so -- >> yo, i'm next, jimmy. >> jimmy: okay. tariq, go for it, buddy. >> all right. shout out to the month of november. yeah, i love november, man. i'm talking ice skating at rockefeller center, thanksgiving with the family, and getting my christmas shopping done. but the day after thanksgiving, it's time to let mexico meet the mayflower with these tasty tur

i got my --" >> jimmy: you're like, "jimmy, yeah, yeah, you shot it, jimmy. me back to my room. it was just sad. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, now we got to talk about "j. edgar." >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is -- this is phenomenal. this is leonardo dicaprio. you and leonardo -- what is the movie about, really? >> well, it's the story of j. edgar hoover and sort of the inception of the fbi. where it started, how -- you know -- >> jimmy: and he started the fbi. >> he did. yeah, he was the driving force behind the creation of that thing. and he was with it for 50 years, through eight presidents. i mean, he was in control for a long time. so it was really his baby, and it just sort of chronicles that. >> jimmy: and directed by clint eastwood. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, come on, how do you wrong there? that guy's just -- >> you can't. >> jimmy: oh, he's the coolest. he's like -- >> he scares wrong away. like, that's why you can't go wrong with clint eastwood. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he arrives with a gun in his car. [ imitates gun shots ] >> yeah, yeah. >> jimm

>> jimmy: no.th nominated. >> jimmy: you got nominated for people's choice! >> people's choice nominees! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you totally deserve it because you work so hard. and gosh, four specials, i mean, good for you. >> and for "my life on the d list." and, but here's the irony. i am literally up against kim kardashian. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh! a war is on, you guys. >> a war is on, people. >> jimmy: a war is on, get ready, buckle up. >> this guy's up as well. you deserve it. >> jimmy: it's gonna be good. kathy griffin -- >> we want the people to choose us. choose us, people. >> jimmy: people just choose you. people will choose you. [ cheers and applause ] they've already chose you. you're amazing. hey, do you want to stick around and play a game? >> i'd love to. >> jimmy: it'd be super fun. kathy griffin and i are going to play a game after the break. stick around, pictionary! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'd race down that hill without a helmet. i took some steep risks in my te

>> jimmy: my partner here -- thank you, my name is jimmy. >> steve: thank you. >> jimmy: this is -- thism your host. steve higgins. the rules of the game are very simple. i will give each of you a password. and then each of you are to give a one-word clue. one-word only to get your partner to guess the password. the scoring starts at six points. we take away one for each time it passes. you have five seconds to guess each time. remember, no part or form of the password can be used. and if a clue is illegal by our judges, you'll hear this. [ buzzer ] and you'll forfeit your turn. and the player with the most points -- still talking. guess what they do. >> jimmy: what? >> steve: they win. >> jimmy: there you go. >> steve: any questions? great. all, right. first word, betty and jimmy, we're going to start with you. >> jimmy: betty. >> okay. >> the password is -- >> can i show my partner? >> steve: no, that's against the rules. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she knew that. she knew that. >> okay. >> steve: start with you, betty. >> start with me. all righty. good luck, sweetheart. needle. >> thread.

jimmy: yeah. brisket, for sounding like either a manly biscuit or a bitchy triscuit. [ laughter ] that's an old school joke. i don't even know that means even. >> steve: yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: i don't even get that. [ laughter ] ♪ triscuit but it's funny. i don't know why. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, frosted glass, for letting me see just enough to get the gist of what's behind you. you're like the scrambled porn channel of windows. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] what -- you okay, johnny? what happened? what happened? >> jokes are killing me. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: the jokes are killing you. very good. [ light laughter ] >> steve: stool. >> jimmy: yeah, loose stool over there. >> steve: loose stool. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> i love you, jimmy! >> jimmy: i love you, too. [ laughter ] ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, three-hole punches, or as i like to call you, confetti maker. [ cheers and applause ] i like those things. ♪ [ light laughter ] thank you, pl

jimmy fallern. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay.t right. >> computer: you say tomato, i say tomato. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, well, we just want to get to know you a little bit. are you currently dating anyone? >> computer: yes, her name is scarlett johansson. >> jimmy: the scarlett johansson? >> computer: no, that was a joke, do you get it, ha ha ha ha ha ha. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i get that, it's pretty funny. how about -- what about food? do you have a favorite food? >> computer: natchos. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: nachos? >> computer: yes. natchos. i love natchos. with cheese, sour cream and jollypenas. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that does sound pretty good, actually. [ phone ringing ] what? >> computer: oh, excuse me, jimmy. i have to take this. hello? yes? yes? yes? yes? yes? yes? bye. >> jimmy: who was that? >> computer: none of your biznass. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. let's get back to the interview. do you have a favorite band? >> computer: black eye pea. >> jimmy: the black eyed peas? >> computer: black eye pea.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon!and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome. we're going to have fun tonight. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be good. it's going to be a fun show. hey, this is cool, you guys. last night, president obama had dinner with a u.s. postal worker who won a contest to meet him. and the mailman was like, "wow, someone who takes longer to deliver than i do." [ laughter and applause ] it was a long meal. every time obama tried to pass the salt, it got rejected by republicans. it was just weird. it was like -- [ laughter ] did you hear guys hear about this? two lawmakers in new york have proposed a bill that would make it a felony to sell fake maple syrup and label it as the real thing. [ light laughter ] or as one confused occupy wall street protester put it, "we did it! what?" [ laughter

>> ooh, jimmy -- >> jimmy: there's a movie, a great movie. >> no, you didn't. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy> oh, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, bill, you're going to love this. we have a clip of it. you're really going to love it. check out "pizza man," you guys. it's pretty good. >> don't you know how to dance? what's the matter elmo, been delivering pizzas too long? don't your feet work? >> babe, i could dance you in half. >> prove it. ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers ] >> jimmy: there you go! [ cheers and applause ] more with bill maher, when we get back, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i'll have the yellow tail, i'll have the yellow tail. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] joker's wild. [ female announcer ] i just love that kangaroo. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time, for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. ♪ [ male announcer ] it's movie time. with a wii twist. n

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, wow! that's a crowd right there! the energy. thank you so much, everybody! welcome. it's going to be a fun show tonight. wow, it's a hot one. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. here is -- [ cheers and applause ] a big show tonight. yeah, you feel it. you feel it. here's some election news, you guys. this week, mitt romney's campaign sent out automated phone calls saying that rick perry is too soft on immigration. yeah. the call was like, "for english, press one." [ laughter ] "para espanol, go talk to your buddy, rick perry." [ laughter ] "you love him so much." [ light laughter ] this is pretty interesting, you guys. google announced that it is changing its search formula to make results more current. yeah, you can tell if their results are a bit out of date. this morning i googled kim kardashian, and it was like, "do you

cornelius and zira. >> jimmy: cornelius. >> and dr. zaius. >> jimmy: dr.id, "his destiny." [ laughter ] "i'm not saying all humans are bad. [ laughter ] simply cause they are skin is white." [ laughter ] "the only good human is a dead human." so i grew up on that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you got to do a one man show -- you got to do a one man show on broadway. i want you to do that. you got such a range, my man. i'm so happy for you, i'm so proud of you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're doing movies with al pacino and all this stuff. i want to show everyone a clip of this drama you have out. it's out this weekend. it's tracy morgan in "the son of no one." check this out. >> vinnie. you got something you want to say to me? >> you never told nobody. why you never told nobody? 'cause you was my friend? you still my friend? >> i couldn't talk. >> but you did talk. you did talk. you said you weren't going to say nothin' to nobody. >> you said you weren't gonna tell nobody. >> i knew you were too good. >> jimmy: oh, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:

thank you. >> no, i love jimmy. you know, jimmy. i love jimmy.rote that for me. it's a joke. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i really did. now, how was -- i know, in canada -- i was going to say, "happy thanksgiving." >> well, happy thanksgiving to you. yeah. >> jimmy: but in canada, it's already -- >> yeah, it's happened. >> jimmy: it's already done. >> well, no. we have our thanksgiving. >> jimmy: when is thanksgiving? >> around july. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] christmas in april. which is followed -- is one week after halloween. and we do our traditions different. we stuff our turkey through the beak. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? is that how you -- i've never seen -- yeah. i've only been there once so i don't really know. >> eight football teams, two called "rough-riders," it's a different -- >> jimmy: it's a different kind of -- [ light laughter ] i always -- i tell everyone every time i see anyone, i say, "the funniest man on earth, martin short" and everyone agrees. because you are the funniest human on earth. [ cheers ] they know how to tak

i love it. >> seven. >> jimmy: seven. >> two. >> jimmy: seven and two. okay. that definitely doesn't look like $100. but that one might be. [ laughter ] he can barely hold it up. let him have it, you guys. [ sad tuba ] nope. [ audience ohs ] >> no. oh, god. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. [ laughter ] very good. that was baked beans and apple cider? what was that over here? >> steve: mashed potatoes again. >> jimmy: good job. >> steve: mashed potatoes. >> jimmy: i love mashed potatoes. all right. go for it. it's down to the last one. [ drum roll ] >> eight. >> one. >> jimmy: eight and one. you're talking about teresa and nina. ♪ teresa >> and -- ♪ nina >> jimmy: let them have it, guys. [ sad tuba ] [ audience ohs ] >> okay. all right. i'll take that. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that is -- glittery confetti and gravy. boy, i really hope you win something. i really do. [ laughter ] [ drum roll ] go for it. one of these two is the winner. >> nine. >> six. >> jimmy: there you go. kenzie and audrey. ♪ kenzie >> and -- ♪ audrey >> jimmy: one of these has the winning bucke

> jimmy: yeah.retty cool. i mean, we all were here. [ cheers and applause ] >> i asked who was going to be on the show, and they told me, they said mystery guest. and it couldn't have been a better mystery guest. >> jimmy: it's up there -- it couldn't be better. >> couldn't be better. >> jimmy: could be anyone. but it wasn't, it was them. >> yeah. it was them, yes. >> jimmy: when you see them live, like, you know -- in new york or wherever they pop up, they don't -- they don't go by a name. >> no, they don't go by a name. >> jimmy: so that's what makes them great. >> i know. i don't even know how you guys found them. [ laughter ] how did you? >> jimmy: you know what, they were over at "dr. oz" across the hallway. >> you're kidding me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they were there. i said, "are you guys the guys that do 'the turkey stuffing song?'" and they -- the one guy was dressed like a pilgrim. he was in his disguise. >> yeah. oh. >> jimmy: yeah, he had a -- he had a -- he had a -- richard nixon mask o

>> jimmy: yeah.pe. >> hard-boiled eggs. >> jimmy: no, vlasic. dill -- >> dill egg? dill. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a type of -- like a kosher -- a sweet and sour. >> chicken? chicken egg? >> jimmy: no, no, first word, first word. >> chicken. no, egg. >> jimmy: second one, yes. first word is a different word. it's, like, something that you do. it's green things, cucumber! >> egg salad? >> jimmy: a dill cucumber! >> egg pickle. egg pickle salad? [ buzzer sounds ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so close. [ laughter ] pickled eggs. >> i've never heard of a pickled egg. >> jimmy: but you've heard of egg pickle salad? i mean, it's the same thing. well, we lost, but i would like to just see you go again. i'm so sorry. i was not good at giving clues. sorry, emily. >> that is really strange. that doesn't really exist, does it? >> jimmy: let's just say it doesn't, sure. >> thanks for trying to make me feel better. >> jimmy: hey, we're bffs. >> but we're also friends. should we start again? >> jimmy: yeah, go f

>> what, jimmy? >> jimmy: i said, what did you do to me? >> i shrunk you, jimmy!l now. >> why am i latching if it's not funny? >> jimmy: you know what, you're behaving in an extremely immature way right now. >> oh, i'm really shaking. look! now i'm in the chair! it's my show! finally! my own talk show! i can do whatever i wish. cleto, play me some circus music. >> jimmy: no! don't play -- >> jump, jim my. >> jimmy: stop it! that is my band -- >> this is my bad. >> jimmy: no, it's my band and you're sitting in my chair and this is my show! you know -- i know you made your trick or treat soup and that stupid ghost story -- >> we'll be back with more pee-wee herman live and bruno tonioli. ew. hey, mom? what? pay you? for what? for unloading the dishwasher?! kid, you need to pay me for making this delicious -- whoa. hold on there, mom. kitchen counselor. um, mom, i think what she means is "greasy dishes." yeah. in fact, check it out. cascade complete pacs are the ones with the real liquid top. they fight tough greasy messes better than the other tablet, which can leav

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola.s, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. we should be thankful to be alive right now. are we alive? i guess we don't really know, do we? a few hours ago, an asteroid bigger than an aircraft carrier passed inside the orbit of the moon. a 1,300-foot wide rock just missed the earth and not a single one of us even looked up from our cell phones to see it. we only care about flying objects when they're angry birds. [ laughter ] the asteroid missed the earth, fortunately, but the president had bruce willis, michael bay and aerosmith standing by just in case. it came within 200,000 miles of us, which is -- it's close enough for anyone with a medium-sized telescope to get a look at it but not close enough to be groped by herman cain. herman cain had another big day today. he held a press conference in phoenix to address the sexual harassment charges that are multiplying like gremlins lately. he was defiant, he was angry and he even got emo

"the third one is -- whatever." >> jimmy! >> jimmy: what's up, buddy? cheers and applause ] good to see you. this is crazy, guys. the duggar family? [ audience ohs ] >> steve: no. >> jimmy: yeah. from the show "19 kids and counting." they're having a 20th child. because they, quote, "didn't want to stop on an odd number." [ laughter ] yeah, 'cause when i hear someone has 20 kids, my first thought is "not odd at all. that's not odd." [ laughter ] >> steve: 20. >> jimmy: -- those people. there's a new survey predicts that lax will be the busiest airport this year on thanksgiving. in fact, it's so busy that tsa is asking passengers to grab their own crotches. [ laughter and applause ] they can't be bothered. you do it yourself. "come on through. grab it." [ light laughter ] you guys, next week is international fraud awareness week. i fooled you. it's actually this week. [ laughter and applause ] why? "the third one is -- uh --" get this, you guys. a man in new york is running against his grandfather in a local election for town judge. the debates are prett

jimmy. >> jimmy: so sorry, you guys. so sorry.yeah. all right. you happy? you psyched? >> mm-hmm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you going to do with it? >> i -- i have no idea. >> jimmy: yeah. take a guess. >> door mat. door mat. >> jimmy: fantastic, yeah, yeah, yeah. or you can frame it. >> oh, that's true. >> jimmy: i'm just kidding. we're going to give you that gift certificate. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] that is all the time we have. we'll see you all next time on "wheel of carpet samples." we'll be right back with heidi klum, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ all ] trick-or-treat! aren't you a little, like, old to be trick-or-treating? [ robotic voice ] it is a growth spurt. fair enough. [ male announcer ] you're never too old for a smooth, delicious milky way caramel. too old for a smooth, not bad..only two meetings what's mytoday.ook like? can i walk to the belvedere hotel from here? here are directions to belvedere hotel. read me that text. new message from sarah russell:'see you soon' do you think it will snow today

[ applause ] >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: hi, chris. you've got a -- well, it says superman on your jersey. you have the whole thing going. >> yes, i do. all my clothes have something to do with superman. >> jimmy: and well they should. all right. well, thank you very much, chris. >> you're welcome. [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right, who do we have next? we've got -- >> hi, i'm spongebob! >> jimmy: that's our friend spongebob. and let's now meet the man behind the sponge. [ applause ] your name is not bob, correct? >> yeah. it's not. >> jimmy: introduce yourself. >> my name is bernard golden. >> jimmy: bernard golden and his costume is golden. isn't that interesting? do you feel naked when you're not encased in a block of yellow foam? >> i sure do, you know. i feel real naked. >> jimmy: all right, all right. thanks. pretty normal. who is next? who do we have? >> my name is the incredible hulk! >> jimmy: okay. that's the incredible hulk. and let's meet the incredible hulk in real life. what's your name? >> i'm joe mcqueen as the incredibl

>> jimmy: me, too.immy: i actually wanted to be a priest as well. >> right, wow. >> jimmy: yeah. >> how come you didn't go? >> jimmy: i think i just hit puberty, and -- >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> see, i was late. i was late. i was late by a year. i decided to go. i just turned 14. so, i went. and, by the time i hit 15, when i was there, it was like, "whoa, this is not the place to be." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so, i went in to quit. and, to the priest, to father dewiki, and he said -- before i got a chance to say anything, he just blurted out, "we'd like to ask you to leave." [ laughter ] i thought, wait a minute, you can't fire me. i quit. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what a weird conversation between -- yeah. >> and he said that he would pray for those who would have to endure me later in life. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: thank you. well, that's pretty cool. yeah. >> he didn't say enough prayers. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. activism kind of started young for you. you were the youngest elected official in the u.s. a

>> jimmy: i guess. though. >> yeah. >> jimmy: right? >> i -- >> jimmy: cleto was one of mine. >> yes, well -- [ applause ] i may be rethinking my strategy. he wants to study music, but not like, classical music, like, guitar, like, rock. >> jimmy: yeah, you need to go to college for that. >> did you guys go to college for that? they did. you did. >> jimmy: cleto did, kind of. >> cleto: i didn't, really. they did. >> jimmy: all the great rock stars went to college. >> i don't want him to be a rock star, though. >> jimmy: what do you want him to be, like, a band teacher? >> that would be better. >> jimmy: what about your 16-year-old son? >> he, well, he just got his driver's license. >> jimmy: is that good? >> i mean, it makes my life easier. >> jimmy: okay, good, yeah. do you get nervous when he drives off on his own? >> he has to drive out in rush hour in the morning but the traffic moves really slowly then. that's not so bad. but it's the other drivers, to me, that are so scary, i mean, i've had some i