>> jimmy: two and a half years. >> wow. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, i -- >> jimmy: you were one of our firstthat rough? was i sweating too much? >> no, no, you were great. no, i don't know how i was. but you were great. i mean, you invited me back so i must not have been bad. >> jimmy: oh, you're phenomenal. you're always great, please. >> but you -- i have not seen you since i've become totally obsessed with your -- your song parodies. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> i mean, they're amazing and -- >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> i mean, i don't know how many people know about the troll series. >> jimmy: that's going back there. yeah, the troll dolls. >> yeah, totally. yeah, the troll dolls. >> jimmy: when i first started -- >> auditions. >> jimmy: -- stand up comedy, i used to do these impressions. that was my whole act, was impressions. so i did these impressions of different people singing about troll dolls. you know, those dolls? [ light laughter ] with the hair and, so it was just like -- >> like, i was obsessed with trolls. so i just thought it was so amazing. >> jimmy: you were obsesse

grab it. >> jimmy: yep. >> go. >> jimmy: here we go.ds ] look at that! >> there we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: cut that in half, nothing! >> all right. now -- >> jimmy: nothing. >> that was the little hammer. >> jimmy: oh, i love, you brought a jackhammer. that's what i'm talking about. let's do it! >> an electric jackhammer. come over here with me. >> jimmy: yep. >> whoa! >> you ready? >> jimmy: yep. >> here you go. hold on tight. [ laughter ] >> make sure you're ready. >> go, man. >> jimmy: i don't want to say it. >> go. >> jimmy: are you going to jack it or am i going to jack it? >> no, it's all you. [ cheers and applause ] [ jackhammer sounds ] >> jimmy: there you go, brother! [ cheers and applause ] you guys -- kevin o'connor, tom silva, richard trethewey and roger cook. "ask this old house!" airs on pbs, check your local listings. the avett brothers perform next, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's called block live. it's like having a tax professional right in your own home. - in our house? - it basically turns you

> jimmy: you did?i was like, i love you guys, the show, everybody here. you're like a second family, you know? so i wanted the biggest, coolest present i could find. so i went into target, right? and i went over to -- no, really. yeah. [ light laughter ] i had to get them shipped in from saudi arabia. one of them. and the other one came from china. do you want to see your gift? >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, i got your gift here. check it out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! >> how cool is this? these guys -- >> jimmy: yeah. oh, my gosh. >> this -- this here is called -- this is a bactrian camel. and the way you know, they have the two humps. bactrian -- >> jimmy: does that mean he's going to spit at me? >> no, the bactrians do spit, yeah. but i'd take it for you. the bactrians have the double hump. that's why they're called bactrian, b double hump. dromedary, like the big one here, d, one hump. cool, huh? now, these guys are cool. i'm going to move this one over here. he's a critically endang

>> john. >> jimmy: ron? >> john. >> jimmy: john. >> yep. >> jimmy: all right.ron. that's a good nickname. john, where are you from? >> from south jersey. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, you could totally use this sweater in south jersey. [ laughter ] it gets cold. >> yes. >> jimmy: this is going to match perfect with your shirt, too. you want to try this guy on? >> i would love to. >> jimmy: yeah, it's going to be fun. ♪ [ laughter ] make sure the shoulder pads fit you there. oh, yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] come on, look at this. >> thank you. >> jimmy: oh, my god, look at that. that's a great sweater. oh my god. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: john from south jersey. nice to meet you, buddy. good man. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] a makeover ♪ it's like a makeover. ♪ hey, guys. i'm in the spirit of giving. and, we're about to give away some awesome stuff. it's time for "late night" stocking stuffers. >>> hey, ladies. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's a late night stocking stuffer girl yeah ♪ >> jimmy: that is right. every night this week, we'

>> jimmy: yeah. >> i didn't know that. >> jimmy: yeah. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's by slayer. >> yeaht know if you know this. but there's, you know, what happened to your grandmother is actually a song. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you mean? you're joking. >> it's kind of a famous song. >> jimmy: you're joking. >> yeah. yeah, about -- just like your grandmother getting run over by a reindeer. >> jimmy: it's a sad song? >> it's very sad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was awful. >> yeah. i mean, i'm trying to help you out. >> jimmy: all the family is dressed in black. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and we don't -- the whole thing. grandpa's handling it pretty well. [ light laughter ] >> i'm sure he is. i'm sure he is. >> jimmy: he's drinking beer. he was in the room watching football with cousin mel. >> he's a good man, grandpa, from what i remember of him. >> jimmy: he -- i don't know. >> grandpa fallon. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] that's -- yeah. so, they wrote a song. is it, like, glen campbell or something? >> it's just an eerie coincidence. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i don't -- i don't -- >> jimmy: yea

>> hi. >> jimmy: stand up. >> hello. >> jimmy: how you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: nice to see you.jimmy: emily, where are you from? >> houston. >> jimmy: from houston. >> yes. >> jimmy: well, welcome to new york city. >> thank you. >> jimmy: are you having fun? >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: all right, great. do you have your phone with you? >> yes, it's right here. >> jimmy: another iphone. this is very interesting. all right, here we go. this iphone goes in to the hacker 9000. >> hello, emily, this is the officer benetti of the houston police. we've identified the suspect who apparently defecated in your purse. [ laughter ] he's wearing kind of a red gingham-y type shirt. with his hand on -- he has a watch. and smiling. and now he's moving. [ light laughter ] he's standing next to you. see, you know what? i hope that helps. hold on a second. yeah, what is this? i'm on the phone. >> i have to go to the bathroom again. >> you have to go to the bathroom? [ laughter ] hold on a second. i'm almost done talking to this lady. her purse was defecated in. all right. we'll see you later, chelsea. em

but, jimmy fallon's happening jimmy!s and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. we got a great show tonight, oh, man. thank you guys for joining us. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] it's exciting for us too. well, the big story today is a lot of websites, including wikipedia and craigslist, decided to shut themselves down in order to protest the anti-piracy bill s.o.p.a. craigslist users were like, "great, now where am i going to find a couch, a job and a hooker all in one place?" [ laughter ] this is nice. last night president obama took michelle out to a steak restaurant for her birthday, marking it the first time in months the word "obama" and "well done" appeared in

>> jimmy: sit down.s ] that's easy. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> too late. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter and applause ] >> should i put this back? >> jimmy: you can do this, though, aaron. you can do this. have some confidence, my man. we can do this, man. i know we can. >> all right. let's go. >> jimmy: oh, we started. we started. go. song. "rolling in the deep." [ laughter ] two words. first word. short. second word, first word. short, little. tiny. "tiny dancer." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks a lot. >> me and you. >> jimmy: it's a new thing, it's called -- it's called a charades showdown. me and you. charades showdown. each team gets the same clue to give at the same time. all right? whichever -- whoever gets -- >> at the same time? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] whoever gets it first gets two points. >> all right. >> jimmy: very intense. who is in the lead now? i'm in the lead 2-1, right? so if you win this you -- whoever wins this wins. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> wait, i'm your gue

jimmy? >> jimmy: you get a hug from young santa. i'm jealous.e, buddy. you doing okay? >> doing all right. there you go. that's pretty good. >> jimmy: it was good? you also get this $150 gift certificate to whole foods for participating today. [ applause ] thank you, my friend. that's all the time we have for "put it on a cracker." stick around. we'll be right back with jeremy renner, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: and now it's time to play "guess the gift." is it "a" -- a wooden baseball bat. "b" -- a pair of slacks. or "c" -- a bag of lemon suck-on candy. we'll give the answer, right after this commercial break. >> announcer: and now, the answer to tonight's "guess the gift." if you guessed "a," a wooden baseball bat, you're wrong. it's "c," a bag of lemon suck-on candy. thanks for playing "guess the gift." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is an oscar and golden globe-nominated actor. you know him from such movies as "the hurt locker" and "the town." he's great in both of those. he's great in

>> jimmy: what your names? >> brendon. >> jimmy: brendon? >> zack. >> jimmy: zack.other? >> from hometown. >> we grew up together. >> connecticut. >> jimmy: from hometown in connecticut, yeah. [ laughter ] what would that hometown be? >> old saybrook. >> jimmy: old saybrook. yeah, and you guys grew up together? >> yeah. >> jimmy: like high school, and -- >> yeah >> jimmy: where are you? are in college now, or -- >> nope. we live in hoboken. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: congratulations. [ laughter ] now, look, guys. you know that one of you will be spitting. the other will be receiving, right? [ laughter ] but, it still hasn't been decided who will be doing what. does that make you nervous? >> a little bit. >> a little bit. >> jimmy: now, you know what a spit take is, right? this is when someone says something shocking or funny while you're drinking and you -- [ spits ] spit it out. yeah. so, let's find out who will be doing the spitting, and who will be spat upon. let bring out the die. oh, as you see, the die says "spit" on three sides. it says "take" on the other three

>> jimmy bound. >> jimmy: jimmy bound. like jimmy band or jimmy bound? guys or it's up to interpretation. >> the first one, the first one, jimmy bound. >> jimmy: all right good, you're jimmy bound. very good. go take the stage, you guys. this is very exciting. [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, here to perform their song, "jimmy bound." [ light laughter ] i can't believe we got these guys. [ cheers and applause ] give it up for careless whisper! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ walking out of penn station i look to the right and i look to the left ♪ ♪ and what do i see all around people that are jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound, jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound now we're here studio 6b ♪ ♪ anothony macky and bill cosby we've got rhythm and we've got soul ♪ ♪ count to 30 rock and roll ♪ ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound, jimmy bound jimmy bound, jimmy bound ♪ ♪ jimmy bound ooh ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. come on over. whoa! that was great, pal. thank you so much. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that

jimmy: "30 rock," season finale. >> yeah. >> jimmy: tonight. >> it was tonight. >> jimmy: yeah. >> howw. hope everyone enjoyed it. 100 shows. >> 100 shows. [ cheers and applause ] thanks. >> jimmy: that's a big -- that's a milestone. >> that's big milestone. then by the end actually, this was like 102. it's so funny, because the thing is that after 102 shows, it is like a little off the rails. we just kind of -- we're in that phase. like, you know on sitcoms where people are like -- "and then my character's going to sing." like, we just do whatever we want. >> jimmy: making up crazy plots. >> yeah. we're gonna go to france. >> jimmy: when do you bring in -- like, the oliver? >> yeah, we need to adopt a little black kid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. you have to adopt a little black child and then jump the shark. >> but we did -- actually, our show actually takes place on the back of a shark, so we can't really -- >> jimmy: you can't ever -- >> we never jump the shark. >> jimmy: you're with the shark. >> we've been on the shark from the beginning. but we did start -- we started usi

jimmy: that was great guys. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that was so good. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that wasyour sleeves. 5-hour energy is faster and easier than coffee. man, does it work. you'll get that alert, energized feeling you need to get stuff done. a lot of stuff. wow. look at you go. 5-hour energy. when you gotta get stuff done. [ woman ] i was ready for my trip, but my smile wasn't. [ female announcer ] new crest 3d white intensive professional effects whitestrips. it goes below the enamel surface to whiten as well as a five-hundred dollar professional treatment for a transformation that's hard to believe. ♪ wow, that's you? [ female announcer ] new intensive professional effects whitestrips. and try 3d white toothpaste and rinse. from crest. life opens up when you do. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to seth and josh meyers, kim wayans, the muppets, steve cropper and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody, right there. [ cheers ] stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a great weekend. have a great holiday. good-bye, everybody. [ cheer

thank you, dude. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: phenomenal. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: johney again, everybody! we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ first you take the jumbo jack, then you add two tacos. ♪ ♪ waddya get? jumbaco! ♪ jumbaco! ♪ jumbaco! jumbaco! jumba-jum- jack, i don't know why you keep pushing the jumbaco. research shows normal people like the jumbo deal. your classic jumbo jack made with 100% beef, two tacos, fries and a drink for just $4.29. it's all their favorites in one meal. they killed my jumbaco idea? i tried.

and the guitar player. >> jimmy: no way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how exciting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but what? >> jimmy: can i do morrissey? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i think so, probably. like what -- like -- [ vocalizing ] i used to do -- i could do morrissey like singing the beatles. ♪ she loves you yeah, yeah, yeah she loves you yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] you can't, like do -- i don't do his actual voice. ♪ we all live in a yellow submarine in a yellow submarine ♪ [ singing over each other ] i had brought -- i brought a guitar because i know you play the guitar. >> yeah. i'm quite good. >> jimmy: no, you're not. [ laughter ] but we were joking around. ♪ >> okay. >> jimmy: oh, stop it! it's the guitar. but we -- 'cause we -- we were playing around when we were doing "saturday night live" and we were laughing because we both do versions of elvis costello. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: elvis costello fans out there? [ cheers and applause ] there's two elvis costellos. i was thinking, if you want, maybe we'd do, like, a version of "happy birthday." it's my mother's birthday, by the way. >

jimmy: yeah.emember doing anything bad to the roots." and i am from philly. so i had a very philly reaction. i was like, "i'm gon' kick his ass. i'm gonna key his car. i'mma drag him behind the wawa and we're gonna fight." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "i'm going to key his car." >> i'm going to key his car. i'm gon' egg his house. i'm going down there, i'm egging his house. [ laughter ] but then i calmed down. >> jimmy: all, right. >> but i honestly -- like, i can't -- i don't know. it's crazy someone -- and you're like "i don't even know what he's talking about." >> jimmy: no, i came in -- yeah. 'cause i watched the show. and then i saw that go down. i just didn't know -- and i knew, because quest -- i mean -- what? >> what did i do? >> questlove: we -- we tried to say hello to you last time and you -- >> in here? in here? >> questlove: yeah, yeah -- okay. >> 'cause i -- >> questlove: it was a misunderstanding. i -- >> this show is like family to me. we can't have any bad blood. so i don't know what ha

he failed. >> jimmy: he choked. >> that was -- >> jimmy: this is -- >> i earned that. >> jimmy: thisse ] no! [ cheers ] >> okay. ♪ >> jimmy: three points. >> but, i can still win with the money ball, maybe. >> jimmy: yes, maybe. yeah. >> maybe, okay. >> jimmy: just double the points. >> audience member: go, daniel! >> thank you! >> jimmy: double the points. [ cheers and applause ] come on, buddy, you can do it. come on, red! i want you to catch that ball! [ cheers ] >> aw! yes, yes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: all right. you're the man. >> three! okay. >> jimmy: all right. i got to do it to win. >> how much -- how much do you need to win? [ cheers ] oh, you need three to win? >> jimmy: i need three to win. [ cheers and applause ] you know what to do, guys. [ cheers ] >> hey, hey! red hat! time out! time out, red hat! [ cheers ] [ drum roll ] knock it. [ drum roll ] >> yes! >> jimmy: oh, no! ♪ come on! >> you're -- >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. daniel radcliffe, you guys! the winner! [ cheers and applause ] check him out this week on "saturday night live." see him in "the woman in bl

you guys are awesome. [ cheers ] >> questlove: jimmy, jimmy, jimmy.ow we were doing shout outs. can i do one? >> jimmy: sure, quest do you want to do a shout out? >> questlove: yeah, yeah, yeah, can i? yo, can i get some shoutout music? ♪ >> jimmy: all right. >> qusetlove: i want to give a shout out to art. and if you love art like i do, then you need to come in and check out this event it's called subculture april 19th, april 20th at the brooklyn academy of music. it's an interactive event about music, and new media, plus i'm the curator. and what's better than that? >> jimmy: there you go, i guess. yeah, nothing's better than that. that's pretty good. [ cheers ] that's pretty cool buddy, congrats. >> here's a better shout out -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: okay. kamal, go ahead. >> shout out to jalapeno peppers. they keep it hot! they transform any mediocre meal into a flaming flavor-filled fiesta of fiery fantasticness, baby! i hope your tongue got the balls for these bad boys. pepper, hot sauce, move bitches, get out of my way. i love jalapenos so much

>> right, jimmy. >> jimmy: right. big taste, big portion, big flavor. yehya, do you think you can say the words applebee's unbelievably great tasting and under 550 calories entrees in less than 15 seconds? >> applebee's -- >> jimmy: wait. start the clock. >> applebee's 500 lot calorie, ah, taste very good. >> jimmy: cle enough. >> dicky: applebee's new unbelievably great tasting and under 550 calorie entrees. all of the taste, none of the trade-off. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with randy jackson, dermot mulroney and music from will hoge. this looks like steak. thick, juicy, satisfying steak. this looks like anything but a resolution. [ male announcer ] applebee's introduces fresh new choices, all great-tasting and under 550 calories. like our sizzling asian shrimp & broccoli, roasted garlic sirloin, and sizzling chili lime chicken. starting at just $9.99 at applebee's. come in and try one today and get half-price appetizers late night. come in and try one today you could get money that's both fast and free on an emerald card. just bring in y

thank you, dude. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: phenomenal. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: johnhn mulaney again, everybody! we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 2:30 in the afternoon, a lot to do, and you've hit the wall. but you got to get stuff done. so take 5-hour energy. just open it up, knock it back, and roll up your sleeves. 5-hour energy is faster and easier than coffee. man, does it work. you'll get that alert, energized feeling you need to get stuff done. a lot of stuff. wow. look at you go. 5-hour energy. when you gotta get stuff done. pick your style off a salon wall? not in a million years. inspired by all who challenge the same old thing comes gain icy fresh fizz and other scents that are, like you, anything but ordinary. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to queen latifah, dolly parton, miranda cosgrove, john mulaney, meshell ndegeocello, and the greatest band in late night, the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for carson daly, thank you for watching. have a great weekend! see you next week! bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ]

my famous quail in the bush, jimmy. >> jimmy: say it again?ueur. some rum. say "when," everybody. >> audience: when. >> jimmy: yeah, they didn't say "when." yeah, 'cause i have some good people. >> some beautiful mandarin juice. >> jimmy: little mandarin juice. >> ginger juice. and when you shake that up -- >> jimmy: okay. what is this last one? >> ginger juice. >> jimmy: ginger juice. >> that looks fantastic. >> jimmy: sure. >> you want to shake it or you want me to shake it? >> jimmy: go for it. oh, man. all right. so, then, what is this called? the madman cosmopolitan? >> madman cosmopolitan. >> jimmy: all right. i'm excited about this. i need to get my booze on. [ laughter ] >> all right. you got the pan on? >> jimmy: yeah, pan's hot. i'm going to -- you got all -- what is this again? >> cheers first of all. >> jimmy: cheers, my friend. >> cheers to you, my friend. >> jimmy: congrats on everything. iron chef, that's awesome, buddy. >> happy new year! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: happy new year! hey, why -- why would you do iron chef?

>> jimmy: yeah. >> [ mumbling quickly ] >> jimmy: "ask your doctor." >> all right. >> jimmy: yeah, that's -- >> jimmy: i was gonna ask you -- i have -- i have two questions. one is -- because i'm very interested in this -- is that you -- before comedy, you were in the navy. >> yes. >> i know i signed the paper saying i would serve my country. i was kind of serious about that. >> jimmy: yes. >> i didn't want to die. >> jimmy: no. >> so then they had boot camp, which is where they do a turn-around on you. they cut off all your hair. i don't care. but the man -- they didn't curse in those days. >> jimmy: oh, no? >> no, no. but they would get in your face. and this man said -- he says, i don't know what i did -- oh, yes, it was 04:30. and i made a mistake and said to him, "in the morning?" [ laughter ] and he went up and the cigarette was hanging and smoke was going like a -- and he says -- he says, "you, 150 pounds of maggot urine --" [ laughter ] i mean, there was -- >> jimmy: no cursing. >> no cursing. >> jimmy: no, no, "maggot urine." >> he was calling names, man. "you rat -- you rat ear