jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, you know what i'm going to do, jimmy? >> jimmy: something for me? >> they don't come out until april. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so what i'm going to do is get you a pair. these are a prototype. these aren't even out. these a prototype, man. that's how much nike loves me. this is amazing. it's amazing. >> jimmy: you don't have to do that with your sneakers. that's insane. >> amazing. i got a cross trainer. >> jimmy: do they have a name? >> the hustle hart. >> jimmy: the hustle hart? >> a cross trainer, man. [ cheers and applause ] basically, i do everything. when i go to the gym, i don't just run, man. i run, jump, cut, lift. i do it all. they wanted to make a sneaker that fit my needs. basically, when my move for hart, the big movement i put together. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm going to have people in hustle hart because you have no excuse not to move like me. i work 24/7. i find an hour in the day. that's going to be a part of the movement. move a hart. that's so good. [ cheers and applause ] that's so good. >> jimmy: that was a good one. >> so good. >> jimmy

>> jimmy: yes! you're exactly right. 100% correct. [ cheers and applause ] you have got an unbelievable talent. unbelievable talent. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you very much. that's all the time we have for instant song analysis. >> jimmy: fred armisen, the new season of "portlandia" premieres this thursday at 10:00 p.m. on ifc. we'll be right back with mario batali, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i have asthma... ...one of many pieces in my life. so when my asthma symptoms kept coming back on my long-term control medicine, i talked to my doctor and found a missing piece in my asthma treatment. once-daily breo prevents asthma symptoms. breo is for adults with asthma not well controlled on a long-term asthma control medicine, like an inhaled corticosteroid. breo won't replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. breo opens up airways to help improve breathing for a full 24 hours. breo contains a type of medicine that increases the risk of death and may increase the risk of hospitali

>> jimmy: no. say. >> take. >> jimmy: hello. [ laughter ] >> take a low. >> jimmy: to.to my. >> jimmy: little. >> what? take. >> jimmy: little friend. say hello to my little friend. >> take my bathroom to the friend? what the [ bleep ]? >> jimmy: all right. close enough. all right. [ bleep ] wait, no. we're not going -- >> i hate losing. >> jimmy: don't worry about it. it's not -- >> i hate it. >> jimmy: please, no. no, it's good. >> okay, okay. >> jimmy: say hello to my little friend is what i was saying. say hello -- yeah. >> oh, you were really giving it away with that whole -- >> jimmy: i was doing the scarface mouth. >> aw, man. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: all right here we go. no it's your thing. >> aw, man, i'm not good at stuff like this, dude. >> jimmy: no. you don't have to do impressions. >> okay, okay, okay. i got it. >> jimmy: the thing is it's all fun and games. >> i'm not having fun. [ laughter ] okay, okay, okay. no, i am. [ rimshot ] ready? buckle up. >> jimmy: all right. >> how much wood would a a woodchuck chuck? >> jimmy: what? [ t

>> jimmy: yeah. >> sleigh ridin'. >> jimmy: in new york city? >> yeah, like, i lived on 89th street between west end and riverside. years ago, like 1860 something. it snowed then. >> jimmy: yeah, back then. >> there was a hill. that was by -- right off, you know, in riverside park. >> jimmy: oh sure, sure. >> oh, man. it was a steep hill. and you had to take your life in your own hands doing that hill. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> oh yeah, man. we'd get on that thing and go down. like, you would either hit rocks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> and if you missed the rocks, you would hit the west side highway. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's when sleigh ridin' was sleigh ridin' [ bleep ]. that's when it was fun. absolutely. >> that was bad, man. >> jimmy: is that when you were room mates with -- >> mikey d. >> jimmy: michael douglas. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how fun is that? i love that guy. >> pervert. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: no, no, that's not true. >> he's not, he's not. >> jimmy: that is not true. >> he's a sick man. [ laughter ] god bless him.

you're the first person. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. >> jimmy: ever? >> ever. >> jimmy: mirta. there you go, i love it. mirta, where are you from? >> i'm from south florida. >> jimmy: south florida. okay, south florida. south florida. it is january. which means a lot of people are making new year's resolutions. >> i made a resolution to not make a resolution. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so far, are you sticking to it? >> i'm sticking to it. >> jimmy: wait, but that means you've made a resolution. >> right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the whole thing is -- it's a conundrum, it's a -- it's a puzzle. okay, not to make any resolutions. very tricky. you made a resolution not to make any resolutions. >> i made a resolution to get my husband to get back to the gym. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she made a resolution to get her husband to go back to the gym. that's the way to do it. okay, you want to get your husband back in the gym there. okay, good. very nice of you. that's so good. yeah. [ light laughter ] you guys, we've got my pal mirta here. m-i-r-t-a. classic spelling. [ laughter ] mirta. she's

>> jimmy: your foot. >> i have -- >> jimmy: two left feet!there. >> that was a good one. >> jimmy: that's the strategy right there. that's the way to do it. our thanks to will smith, kirsten dunst, tariq trotter. kirsten and i -- more of the "tonight show" after the break. don't make me open up a can of whoop ass. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hey, you forgot the milk! that's lactaid. right. 100% real milk, just without the lactose. so you can drink all you want... ...with no discomfort? exactly. here, try some... mmm, it is real milk. see? delicious. hoof bump! oh. right here girl, boom lactaid®. 100% real milk. no discomfort and for a creamy and delicious treat, try lactaid® ice cream no way. savor breakfast any time you like. eggs, sizzling sausage, hot cakes, real butter. mcdonald's all day breakfast menu. father, why can't we have directv like the macgregors do? we're settlers, son. we settle for things. like having cable instead of directv. hey, jebediah, how's it going? working the land. hoping for a fertile spring. all right. so we have t

>> jimmy: here we go. and three, two, one. [ shutter click ] [ applause ] three, two, one. [ shutter click ] okay, let's do double hoagie. >> no, no, no, no. double cookie. >> yeah. >> yeah. >> three, two, one. [ shutter click ] [ applause ] >> nom, nom, nom. nom, nom, nom. >> jimmy: cookie monster. >> cookies. >> ha-ha-ha. hello, there. >> hello. >> hi, good to see you. >> jimmy: look, right there. right there, look. [ laughter ] >> three, two, one. [ shutter click ] [ shutter click ] >> check please. [ shutter click ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the cutest thing ever. our thanks to our pals at "sesame street" and all the parents and kids that showed up. season 46 of "sesame street" premieres this saturday, january 16th, on hbo. stick around, we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> questlove: the legendary roots crew has been brought to you by the children's and the don't you won't. riding with the best. (music) woman: i'll never remember all

>>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, chloe grace moretz. from colony, josh holloway. and music from dj khaled featuring future. with cleto and the cletones. and now, moving forward, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. i stand before you tonight to declare that the state of this program is strong. you didn't watch the state of the union address? well, president obama gave his final state of the union address last night. it was the president's shortest state of the union address, clocking in at 58: 49. which happens to be -- my last one would have been much shorter than that. mine would have been however long it takes to say "you're on your own, suckers" and that would be it. festivities started before the speech. the rapper wali who happens to be from washington, d.c. performed at the white house in what was billed as the first-ever state of the union preshow. couldn't be here hey >> then he fired his manager. i don't know, it was lik

burington, sir. >> jimmy: yes. >> jimmy: e. burington. he says, "i would buy out forever 21 and rename the company, face it, you're 30." [ cheers and applause ] truth hurts. truth hurts. last one is from @jessica. she says, "i'd hire oprah to follow me around and yell what i'm doing. 'she's cooking spaghetti!'" [ cheers and applause ] there you have it. those are our "tonight show" hash tags. to check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick around. we'll be right back with hillary clinton, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] this is iphone 6s. not much has changed. except now you can say... hey siri... hey siri... hey siri... which changes how you get in touch. call sophie. how you get answers... penelope cruz: who was the prime minister of britn in 1868? the answer is benjamin disraeli. of course. oh, you knew that. find me a very expensive... coffee shop th outdoor seating... you can n almostanything, just with your voice. play the number one song from 1979. those who define sophistication stand out. those who dar

hello, ringo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: different type of -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: cause they're all >> jimmy: yeah. >> but you know when you were a a kid. just like -- that was like the first, that was one of the first people i remember having that accent. >> jimmy: yeah. i never realized that you could do a oh, yeah. cause at one point everyone just said, "oh, the beatles, they all sound like that." >> yeah. but then there's it's like there's a fine way to do it. >> i've been working on accents. i'm an expert at accents. [ laughter ] and i have been working on the united states in general. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> so i've been doing the you know, like alabama and louisiana and texas. i can do any city. i can do any region, anywhere in the south now. so if you name a part of the it. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. well, do louisiana. i'd love to hear that. [ louisiana accent ] >> louisiana. that's more here. louisiana, it's got a kinda t a kinda round, kinda something kinda regal about it. louisiana. >> jimmy: let me switch it up for you. arkansas. [ arkansas accent ] >> arkansas, that's got kind of e

>> jimmy: no. i've just seen -- >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we allow two people from -- >> brazilians nearby? >> jimmy: we only allow two brazilians to each show. [ laughter ] >> i know. >> jimmy: nbc thing, sorry. gearing up for the olympics, yeah. here you are now. on your way, you went to las vegas for the first time. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i got to know for the first time, what was the experience like? did you enjoy it, was it odd? >> i didn't understand it. >> jimmy: no. >> i'm still like trying to figure it out. it's like really different. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> i tried to gamble a little, but i just didn't understand the rules. >> jimmy: you don't gamble. they don't have gambling in brazil? >> it's forbidden. >> jimmy: it's forbidden? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, i didn't know that. >> it is. >> jimmy: so, you did the macarena. [ laughter ] the forbidden dance. you did the forbidden dance. >> i did a forbidden thing. it didn't work well for me. >> jimmy: what did you

>> yeah. >> jimmy: really, guys we would know -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: -- getting injured. >> yeah. >> jimmy: they make up a story? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they do? >> big story. i can't even repeat it. >> jimmy: do you think you could -- >> stitches is stitches, you can't do that. >> jimmy: do you think they could keep it quiet now just with the internet and social media? >> these days, no. >> jimmy: these days, no, you have to tell the truth. >> it's very unfortunate. because the clippers are almost on their way. and, you know, he's a superstar player. so whenever things don't go the first guy to get blamed. so if they happen not to win, and they won't win this year anyway, even with him on the court. i'm just saying. you know. if they happen to get to a certain point, they don't make it, they're always going to look back at this incident. you know, playoffs, going to the playoffs, it's all about certain positions, certain game. so let's just say they're four games out of second spot, they would have ended up playing denver in the first round, rather than sacramento or somebody. they're going t

>> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: what? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. that was too big. that was too big. >> jimmy: thank you, new star wars-themed condoms, for being the best way to practice safe sex. unless you want to go hand solo. [ laughter ] >> steve: chewbacca. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you, dennis the menace, for looking like donald trump as a child. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i never thought of it that way. the more i think about it -- yeah, perfect. beautiful. [ light laughter ] thank you, untangling christmas lights, for being the one time each year where i think about converting to judaism. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] not worth it. not worth it anymore. who wrapped these up last year? >> steve: oh, , did. >> jimmy: oh, i did. thank you, "time" magazine, for using a sketch of angela merkel for your person of the year cover. which makes me glad your person of the year wasn't tom brady. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i would recognize it. that's tom brady. >> steve: that'

jimmy: no, no. i'll tell you later. >> i like that dude. >> jimmy: no, no. he was good. >> i'm going back in a coma. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you mean? no, no. >> i'm going back, jimmy! >> jimmy: no, no, don't go back. >> i'm going to go back. >> jimmy: don't do it. we're happy to have you. it must be weird, though, having this whole thing happen to you. the coma and you come out and everything is different. >> yeah, things are different. [ light laughter ] donald trump is leading in the polls. [ laughter ] i'm going back. >> jimmy: no, you can't go [ applause ] no, don't go. don't go back. it's fine. it's going to be okay. and we're happy. >> all right. >> jimmy: yeah. have you seen the new "star wars?" >> yeah. things are different, man. hold up. one black dude in the whole galaxy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i didn't write it. i didn't write it. >> i'm pissed off, man. [ laughter ] that was lando calrissian's nephew. [ light laughter ] he pulled some strings to get him in the cadets. >> ji

>> jimmy: it's turkey -- >> jimmy: he might be addicted to durkee's onions. >> jimmy: yeah man, he's got one bad habit. i don't know what it is. he's all dressed up and ready for the big game. >> steve: he wears jeans and a a purple -- >> jimmy: ready to go. probably like an intramural league. either way. he's all ready to go. >> steve: probably playing jai alai. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: check out the back. new outfit. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: fresh new outfit. done playing the game. mystery hand coming out of the locker. [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: mystery person. seems to be happy about it. let's listen to a song called "baseball." >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: first song. this is "baseball." how can i keep control of my nerves the way you wind up when you throw me those curves i hear him yell strike and it's a good call it's so hard to keep my eyes on the ball on the baseball love is like baseball love is just like baseball >> jimmy: all right, stop, stop, stop. who is yelling strike? [ laughter ] >> steve: i think he struck out. >> jimmy: someone's yelling strike when

] >> jimmy: i can't.. ♪ bobby jindal >> jimmy: hey, this is a big story today. the president of mexico announced that the notorious drug lord, el chapo has been caught. [ audience oohs ] so good news, everybody. mexico is completely safe again. [ laughter and applause ] yeah. we can all go to hang out soon. we got it. don't worry about it. there's this video that went viral, i don't know if you saw this. it made me laugh. it's a kid at disneyland, he was on stage taking part in the park's jedi training academy. and i got to say, the force is pretty strong with this one. [ light laughter ] take a look at this guy. >> very good. oh, that was a good one. that was a good. that's some friendly fire. friendly fire. whoa, whoa. [ laughter ] easy, i'm on your side. okay. calm down. good job, young man. well done. all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then darth vader was like, "kid, where is your father?" [ laughter and applause ] did he think candy was going to come out of one of them or something? >> ste

oh, jimmy. >> oh, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, jimmy lassie --., jim. >> jimmy: you can call me jim, if you want, james. i have questions. i have lots of things to ask you. >> yeah, yeah, fire away. what's up? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: last saturday "saturday night live" was fantastic. >> thanks. >> jimmy: i happened to be here in new york city. and it was a mess outside, crazy -- >> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: i mean, you couldn't drive or anything. but yet -- >> it was a bona fide maelstrom. and i don't say that word -- i've never said that word before. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you lie, you said that word before, maelstrom. >> maybe once. [ laughter ] in grade school. >> jimmy: but it was -- it was crazy time. >> oh it was cuckoo-dook. and doing a show -- doing a a show in that was so weird. it had a sort of -- i hope there are no survivors of the titanic here, but it had a sort of like -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: usually you have -- the odds are good. >> playing on the deck of the titanic feel to it of like -- [ irish accent ] it's freezin', but we'r

lause ] >> jimmy: wagner. >> it's amazing. >> jimmy: wagner. thank you so much for being on the show. >> dude, you kidding me?re. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm glad, i'm happy that you're happy to be here. this is great. that was -- was that acting? >> no, no. >> jimmy: oh, ok. for a second, i thought you went to a dark place. >> jesus christ, no. no, no. >> jimmy: this is good.l. >> come on, no. >> jimmy: now, i know -- you still, do you live in brazil? >> i do. i live in rio. have you been there? [ scattered applause ] i've just seen -- >> thank you.lause ] >> jimmy: we allow two people from -- >> brazilians nearby? >> jimmy: we only allow two brazilians to each show. [ laughter ] >> i know.ing, sorry. gearing up for the olympics, yeah. here you are now. on your way, you went to las vegas for the first time. >> yeah.to know for the first time, what was the experience like? did you enjoy it, was it odd? >> i didn't understand it. >> jimmy: no. >> i'm still like trying to figure it out. different. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> i trie

. >> jimmy: yeah. do you know what that means? time for our annual least favorite halloween candies list. first, of course, there's tootsie dumps. next we have, mystery nut log. no one knows what's in there. we have something called warm activia last bite spoon scrapables. [ audience ohs ] >> steve: how do they get that out? with a spoon? >> jimmy: by spoon scrapables. comes with a spoon, yeah. next we have gotcha bouillon cubes. [ laughter ] and finally, of course, butt-or-finger. there you go. we have a great show. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: fantastic. guy, it's been a great week so far. night. will forte, kate upton -- [ cheers and applause ] alex rodriguez, steve martin, here tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, dana carvey [ cheers and applause ] i love him. and we're going to play a game of wheel of impressions. plus, demi lovato, who's just -- i love her. [ cheers and applause ] and thank you notes. that's friday. but first, we have a fantastic show

>> jimmy: yeah. >> guacamole. >> jimmy: oh yeah. i just wanted to hear you say it the same way jeb does. >> yeah. no. >> jimmy: what is your strategy going into this? this is crucial. this time period right now. >> yeah. i mean we're working as hard -- that's why i'm on the show tonight. if you live in new hampshire or iowa, please vote for marco rubio. [ laughter and applause ] i approve this message. >> jimmy: you have to -- you approve this -- >> just in case. just in case, yeah. >> jimmy: what if you don't win those two states, is it still possible? >> oh, sure, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but we want to win. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i mean we want to do as well as possible so let's not talk about not winning, you know, because we're going to do real well there. feel good about it. >> jimmy: that's why you're doing all this stuff. that's why you're doing -- obviously like that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: would you -- this is a -- >> i mean, i have a little bit of an impediment in new hampshire. i don't like the new england patriots. so it's hurt

>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i host. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. i want to thank you in advance for bearing with me, i'm sick, had a cold for a week now. anybody else here sick tonight? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming. i've had -- really i'm starting to get mad at my cold. i'll tell you, i can never remember if they say to feed a fever or starve a cold so i just go with feed and hope for the best. it's kind of the point where my daughter, almost 17 months old, she's making fun of me now. goes -- i'm being mocked by a baby. to me the worst part of the holiday, worse than traveling or trying to find a parking space or any of that stuff, is wrapping gifts. i am the worst. shaquille o'neal is a better wrapper than i am. to give you an idea. i once thought it would be easier, this is not a joke, to wrap gifts in aluminum foil. fyi, it isn't. there are very competent people who can build things, who know how to pick locks, who cannot wrap gifts. tonight we are going to shine a light on this. i think very important issue. hollywood boulevard, cousi

>> jimmy: ll cool j. >> he is the greatest. ll cool j in the streets, you can just start singing his songs at him and he'll join in. i think that's it. >> jimmy: he's that great of a a human being. >> from a social study of one, that's it. he's the greatest. >> jimmy: he's the greatest living man, ll cool j right there. >> who does that? >> jimmy: ll cool j. yeah, give it up for ll. [ cheers and applause ] we always love when you come on. valentine's day, february 14th, season three of "last week tonight with john oliver" premieres on hbo. we'll be right back with a a performance from sia. when laquinta.com sends craig wilson a ready for you alert the second his room is ready, ya know what he becomes? great proposal! let's talk more over golf. great. how about over tennis? even better. a game changer! inside the rack houses of jim beam, thousands of barrels lay silent. but that doesn't mean they lay idle. in fact, inside each and every jim beam barrel, the bourbon is aging, building a fuller, smoother fla

>> yes. >> jimmy: all right. >> but, you know. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: does chloe moretz play the cello? >> there's a lot about that cello in there. >> jimmy: they love the cello. do you have brothers? >> yes. >> jimmy: sing? >> i can do it all. >> jimmy: do you have a kick? >> i don't have a -- what's a kick? that makes me feel old. i'm only 18 and i don't know what a kick is. >> jimmy: you know that it's something. >> i know that it's got to be a thing. >> jimmy: it is a thing. >> is it a thing? >> jimmy: if you don't know you definitely don't have one. >> no. i don't know. >> it could -- i could play my kick cello. >> jimmy: they're really obsessed with this cello. do you like individual grow games? >> i do. >> jimmy: which one dozen you like? >> assassin ss' creed, battlefield. >> jimmy: who is chloe grace more rets, who is chloe grace moretz's mother. >> wow. >> jimmy: who is your mother >> who is my mom? it's a mysterious question. no, my mom -- >> jimmy: never know hot their mother is really, do they. >> not truthfully. then you

>> jimmy: yeah, shalom. >> shalom, jimmy! >> jimmy: shalom, gary, how are you? >> i'm not gary, i'm the hanukkah-corn. the hanukkah unicorn. >> jimmy: i told you we weren't year. >> yeah, but i'm the chanucorn -- >> jimmy: i'm sorry, gary is one of our writers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: as you can see, he's jewish and he's always trying to get hanukkah stuff on the show. last year he created this fake character -- >> it's not fake, it's not fake. >> jimmy: it is a fake character. >> no. no. >> jimmy: yes, it is a fake character. >> jimmy, why have you lost your sense of wonder? >> jimmy: i haven't lost -- my sense of wonder is intact. >> even though you don't believe in the chanucorn? the chanucorn believes in you. [ cheers and applause ] come on in for a chanucorn hug! come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. help. >> hold on one second, hold on one second. >> jimmy: very, very uncomfortable. thank you. that is -- oh, no. what is this? >> this -- >> jimmy: what are you pointing here? >> this is a latke cannon capable of firing potatoes at 5

>> steve: kilm. >> jimmy: kilme. >> jimmy: finally, this is just crazy. i saw that a self-driving car in southern california got anyone behind the wheel. police had to use spike strips to get it to stop, which is the first time in history that cops put a stop to making doughnuts. it's very intersting. [ laughter and applause ] we have great show, everybody. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great crowd tonight. fun show. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, the very funny ray romano will be here. tomorrow night. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is a funny, funny human being. plus lucy hale will be here, brandi carlisle will be here. and thank you notes. that's all tomorrow night. but first, she's the leading democratic candidate in the 2016 presidential race. former secretary of state hillary clinton is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. plus, from "kung fu panda 3," the beautiful lucy liu is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] we love lucy liu. and performing hi

skit. >> jimmy: let's do "ew!" >> okay, ew! >> jimmy: ew! >> ew! >> jimmy: "pretty little liars" airs tuesdays at 8:00 p.m. on freeform. what is that? brandi carlile performs with us next. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] points, points, our points. there has got to be a way to redeem our hotel points. i just want to take a vacation. this seems crazy. oh really? tell us something we don't know, captain obvious. ok. with hotels.com, when you collect 10 nights you get one free. oh. so you only need to know like that nudist resort. yeah i don't know how that got there. because you stayed there, took a selfie and hung it prominently on the wall. hm? hotels.com. they won't judge your life choices. x: rocket blasting off sfx: (countdown) 3, 2, 1 rocket hershey' s miniatures. we pour ' em! we pass ' em! we pick ' em! delicious fun for everyone. hershey' s miniatures are hi, i'd like to make a dep-- scanner: rescan item. rescan, rescan. rescan item. vo: it happens so often you almost get used to it. phone voice: main menu representative. re