jimmy: oh, okay. that, yeah. >> yeah, but what is strictly prohibited would be something like this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you very much for that. i appreciate it. andrew carn, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] hey, hey! go, go! hey, get out of here! hey, get out of here! he sneaks in. he can't even walk. >> steve: i laughed. that last one -- yeah. >> jimmy: he was so nervous, he couldn't even walk out of here. yeah. is he still -- is he still trying to leave? is he still trying to get out of the building? >> steve: no. [ laughter ] he is not. >> jimmy: wow. >> steve: it's like "the shining." ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. >> steve: was that last outfit good or bad? i don't even know. >> jimmy: in congress, it's bad. here we'd totally wear that. it's more than comfortable. >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: is he still -- is he still there? has he left? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, all right, all right. all right. he's dancing. >

>> jimmy: stud.round like kind of solving mysteries and debunking mysteries like a real -- >> like "scooby doo?" >> yeah, but it's a reality "scooby doo" thing, kind of. abd apparently he says he saw big foot. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: you didn't hear that? you didn't read that? >> steve: i read it, but i don't know what to make of it. >> jimmy: yeah, he says that he saw big foot. he's going to talk about that and maybe bring a clip of something. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: you'll see for yourself. i don't know. >> steve: yeah, you judge. >> jimmy: i don't know, he's the one that experienced it, i didn't do it. i bet you he did. >> steve: why would he lie? well, who -- he's not michael, he's not going to race a a shark -- >> jimmy: if i was big foot i would want to meet rob lowe. he's awesome. >> steve: yeah, i'd like to meet rob -- >> jimmy: we're going to catch with him and then rob and his sons are going to compete in a a game -- a new game called, "the best son challenge." >> steve: ew! >> jimmy: to

>> jimmy: i know.w white house communications director. con, somehow a guy named tony the mooch isn't even close to being the most trustworthy person in the white house. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: big don. pauly the weasel. >> jimmy: pro, sean spicer can now start looking for a less stressful job. con, like heart surgeon or bomb diffuser. [ laughter and applause ] he didn't have an easy job. pro, the bar is set very low. con, the bar is also where you'll end up after every press briefing. well, that's -- >> steve: oh. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: and finally, pro, anthony scaramucci has a clear message for the american people when it comes to russia. con, "don't worry about it." there you go. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: that's pros and cons. we're playing charades when we come back. stick around, everybody. come on! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ready, ok! when we say "study"! you say "haul"! study! haul! study! haul! when we say "study"! you say "haul"

>> jimmy: okay. [ buzzer ] >> we want to cut a deal. >> jimmy: okay.>> i think it's total bs. >> yeah, i agree. it's a lie. >> yes. >> i don't buy it. >> jimmy: it's a total lie. she's very professional. she would never do that. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> horrible liar. that means you're good man. >> jimmy: i'm really bad at -- i'm a bad liar. all right. kate, it is your turn. i will choose the envelope. to me, you are a number one. >> oh, bless you. [ light laughter ] oh, my goodness. >> jimmy: that's what's in the cup. >> wait. >> i know. i drank it. >> jimmy: certainly did. >> i once snuck into a zoo after hours. [ light laughter ] >> why would you want to sneak into a zoo, to see a certain animal? >> yes. >> you have a thing for zoos or were you just being rebellious? >> i enjoy a zoo. >> jimmy: do you -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: do you live close to a zoo. >> no. >> jimmy: so you had to travel to get there. >> oh, yes. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you there alone? >> no. >> jimmy: besides the animals. >> no. >> did the travel include anythin

[ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> nice. >> questlove: the next fact is for you, jimmy. >> jimmyut end to end, the human small intestine would be longer than a football field? truth or a lie? >> jimmy: you know, you could be acting like it's so obvious. i know, 'cause i think that it's obvious. i think i've heard this, but yes, it is, the small -- or wait, is it the large intestine? >> yeah. >> jimmy: the small intestine, i think this is a trick question. first of all, i've never looked cooler. [ cheers and applause ] i think i would say that is -- that is true. it's longer than a football field. >> questlove: is he correct? >> jimmy: the answer might -- [ light laughter ] >> questlove: the answer may surprise you. >> jimmy: yeah. [ buzzer ] [ applause ] >> questlove: yes. that is a lie. let's see that mind blowing again in slow motion. >> yeah! >> jimmy: what the heck was that? >> lettuce in the mouth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you didn't get lettuce! you got like fruity pebbles! you got fruity pebbles. i got some old salad. >> i got cotton. >> jimmy: what the heck was that? >> the

>> jimmy: pilla. >> pilla. >> jimmy: pilla. >> of course. >> jimmy: pilla.>> jimmy: yeah. >> i don't want to give you my disease. so that means if i put them on, i keep them. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's the way it works, man. yeah. >> how do i look? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: why fool around? why fool around? why even -- i mean, come on. why even -- look at that. [ cheers and applause ] just a good looking guy. but you -- you rock those glasses, but you came up to me on "saturday night live" -- >> my new glasses. pilla. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: do you remember you came up to me because i was hosting the show and i had this opening where -- i wanted to sing -- >> you're bowie. "let's dance. >> jimmy: i sang david bowie, yeah. >> and you're so musical. you're so talented. you can move and everything. but you were really -- you seemed a little tense. you were like working it really hard like bowie had a hernia. know what i mean? [ light laughter ] like bowie slipped a disc, he was in pain. and you're kind of like going, you're like -- and i s

>> jimmy: this is nice.about a 91-year-old airline mechanic who still works on planes at jfk airport. [ audience aws ] [ cheers and applause ] passengers said, "it's a great story as long as he didn't work on their plane." [ applause ] stay away. "i'll fix the engine!" okay, all right. [ light laughter ] just get him out of here. listen to this, you guys. i read that some battery-powered fidget spinners are exploding and catching fire. [ laughter ] on the plus side, they definitely cut down on fidgeting. because, then -- now they're just -- [ applause ] and mercedes -- mercedes just announced that they are launching a luxury pickup truck. [ light laughter ] mercedes says it will be the most rugged midlife crisis car on the market. yeah, it'll be -- [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: so good. >> jimmy: and finally, this made me laugh. it just came out that the wife of the japanese prime minister may have pretended not to speak english to avoid talking to trump at the g-20 summit -- [ laughter ] when asked wher

>> jimmy: take a look at this. ♪ >> jimmy: all right, come on.applause ] i mean, have some respect. that's the president of the united states. >> steve: come on. what's going on? >> jimmy: and we're still getting to know trump's new communications director anthony scaramucci. [ light laughter ] i saw his friends like to call him "the mooch." [ light laughter ] when trump heard that, he's like, "great, now what am i going to call don jr. and eric? [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: i saw that this week democrats announced their new slogan. "a better deal, better jobs, better wages, better future." and republicans announced their new slogan, "shorter slogan." [ laughter and applause ] that what they -- it's too long. that's too long. this is kind of interesting. a new study found that procrastination might be genetic. [ audience oohs ] i asked my mom if that was true and she's like, "yeah, i meant to tell you that 20 years ago." sorry, hun. yeah, it is. it's true. earlier tonight." that's a great show and it's -- [ cheers and applau

and now, look out, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us right here on a special night. you join us on what is hands down our wettest show of the year. our most beloved summer tradition happens tonight. directly behind our theater we have erected this beautiful above-ground swimming pool. it cost us more than $40 million to build this. and it was worth every penny. [ laughter ] because tonight we're going to grab random people off the street, ask them to disrobe and do a belly flop on television for you. it is our 11th annual -- [ cheers and applause ] it started back in 2006. and from time to time people ask me why a belly flop contest every year? and to those people i say, mom, go to bed, we're doing this. [ laughter ] my cousin sal is out on hollywood boulevard right now. bellies and hopeful floppers there? >> oh, we've got some big ones, some flat ones. we've got everything for you. >> jimmy: good. let's meet some of them,

>> jimmy: looks like a boom box. >> jimmy: how many? >> 50. >> jimmy: 50 fish in the aquarium?the most. it's already obnoxious having a big boom box right when you walk in the door. 50 is over the top. >> jimmy: when you bring a date home this is the first thing they see? >> trying to get me caught up, i see what you're doing. actually, no, we walk in through the garage. you see that hallway. the laundry room to the left. unless i'm going to wash clothe. we come in through the back -- >> jimmy: go right up to the bedroom? >> yeah. no, no -- [ cheers and applause ] no, no! not up to the bedroom. you got me, you got me. i was going to say upstairs. >> jimmy: come upstairs, there's nothing interesting other than a nine-foot fish tank. does it play music? >> a lot of country music, actually. >> jimmy: the fish tank plays country music? can you reprogram it or is that what youan suddenly cuts off, or i cut it off. it's all the same. no one wants to play country music. >> jimmy: what artists are you into? >> luke bryan -- [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, you know what i'm saying? >>

>> jimmy: yes!r oh, baby! >> jimmy: oh, yeah. do it for every hand. >> do you have a -- what is your poker face like? >> jimmy: i'm not good at poker facing, or lying. i can't do it. if i get a thing, i give it away. i sweat. [ light laughter ] it's not fun, it's a physical sport, yeah, for me. >> it's hard. and it's a lot of pressure. >> jimmy: a lot of pressure and i sweat a lot. >> and then everyone's into the rules, and if you bet on the wrong thing and you bet too much. they're like "why did you make that bet"? i'm like, "i don't know. i don't know how to play." >> jimmy: i don't know, man. i'm having fun. i'm not a professional gambler. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. do you have a gambling story? >> actually, i do, i do have a a gambling story. >> jimmy: you do? >> do you want to hear my gambling story or did you want to --? [ cheers and applause ] i actually have a great gambling story, when before i got to "saturday night live" and kind of bumming around l.a. with my acting friends and decided we

>> jimmy: no.n say it, if you like. i can say it. get down. get down. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's it? i didn't think about that. that was great. [ laughter ] you got the part! but did you know if you're supposed to be an american or -- >> oh, i did not know anything. honestly, i just got the sides. did the audition. zach is a wonderful man. we sets -- i did the audition. it went great. went back to israel to shoot an israeli movie and i didn't know if i want to -- wanted to continue acting afterwards. anyway, i'm in israel, i get a a phone call. they tell me that they wanted to do a camera test. i'm like, again. camera test. again another, almost almost. >> jimmy: right. so you're ready to -- >> and then like, okay. whatever. what am i being tested for? what's the part? and then my agent goes, they didn't tell you? i'm like, no. so no one knows what am i -- >> jimmy: yeah, what am i gonna be? am i -- >> what's the big deal? >> jimmy: what am i? yeah, who am i? yeah. >> so anyways, zach calls

>> god help us. >> jimmy: maverick. >> maverick. >> jimmy: i'm freaking out. >> i know. >> jimmy: i'm jimmy: "top gun" maverick is happening. >> i know, i know, i'm freaking out, too. >> jimmy: and this is like it's -- and this is -- >> it's exciting. it's joe kosinski and jerry bruckheimer, i can't wait to work with him. he's one of the greatest producers in movie history. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. >> did the first one and we finally figured out the story and it's really exciting. >> jimmy: and it's far down the line? i mean it's -- >> it's far down the line. there's no turning back at this point. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the danger zone. >> i can't wait. >> jimmy: the danger zone. i know, i can't wait either. highway to the danger zone. we're doing it, yes. [ talking over each other ] i want to talk about -- you have a movie called "american made" coming out september 29th. and i just saw the trailer, went on the internet like two days ago, and it just lit on fire. so, congrats on that. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: and that is a -- [ cheers and applause ] doug liman?

jimmy: that's french. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: mom knew!game works. pick questions. >> oh, boy. >> steve: that range from 10 to 50 points. you're going to answer any one in any order. the higher the points get, the harder the questions are. >> jimmy: and whoever -- this is the weird part, whoever has the most points at the end of the game wins. >> oh. that's weird. >> steve: it's up to amy and jimmy to answer your questions. you can ask your partner for help. but you can only -- >> jimmy: i don't think i'll need it, i kind of know all this. >> steve: you can only ask them once. alright, amy, you're up first. what would the category be? >> well, thank you for asking, steve. i'm going to go, you know what, i always like to go towards what scares me. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, i'm going to pick math. >> steve: oh, math for 10. and the question is, if you have nine pizzas -- >> oh, god. [ light laughter ] >> steve: -- and each one of them is cut into eight slices, how many slices do you have? >> nine pizzas. [ clock ticking ] >> jimmy: yes, that bu

>> jimmy: i did, yeah.ht. >> jimmy: it was actually a good while ago. i don't want to ruin anything for you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know i know you're from the bay area. >> i am. >> jimmy: the nba finals are also over. >> that i watched. >> jimmy: and your golden state warriors won the nba finals. >> yes. yes. yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you a big fan? >> i'm a huge warriors fan. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> and look. i know it sucks for everyone else. like no one from the bay is like yeah, it's fair! we're just like the warriors were bad for so long. and i watched the warriors my whole life. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and like really watched them. i've been a fan for a long time. and now it's like, we watched them get beat down by shaq and kobe. beat down by the spurs with all their all-stars and stuff. it's like, now it's our turn not to be embarrassed. >> jimmy: to beat people down. people do get upset about it not being fair but there's not a team in the league that wouldn't swap lineups, really. everyb

yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's great.ng or not be myself. any time i say i'm being myself whether i look like this or look completely different or i'm a panda. that is myself. [ light laughter ] i'm always being myself. you know? so -- >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. that's who you are. >> it just depends who that is. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and don't ever change. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're going to play a quick game. >> all right. >> jimmy: when we come back it'll be really fun. miley cyrus and i are doing "google translate songs" after the break. [ cheers and applause ] stick around, everybody! miley cyrus! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's labor day weekend on top of the fourth of july. hotdogs. it's abe lincoln on top of george washington. yonder. it's rodeos on top of rollercoasters. it's favorites on favorites, alice. it's very moving. get your favorites on top of your favorites. only at applebee's. get your favorites on top of your favorites. bill assumed his mayo was the best choice. assume nothing. just like the le

>> jimmy: yeah., i saw that anne hathaway is in talks to star in the upcoming "barbie" movie. she'll have to say goodbye to her brown hair for the roll. while the actor playing ken will have to say goodbye to something else. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have got a great show tonight. >> steve: i love this! >> jimmy: so much fun on the show tonight. he is a super bowl champion and the host of abc's "$100,000 pyramid." michael strahan is on the show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: charming dude. >> steve: a delight! >> jimmy: he's a stud. i love that guy. also joining us tonight, she's the star of the very funny bravo series "odd mom out." jill kargman is stopping by. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's super funny. >> steve: yeah, great. >> jimmy: and we got great music tonight from slayer! >> steve: what? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're h

and now, moving on, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for visiting. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] i had a -- i had a baby somewhere under here. i don't know what happened. what i have in this stroller are baby products. those of you who have babies at home or abroad know that a lot of stuff comes with them. we have so much stuff at my house. to be honest, i don't know what half of this stuff does. what i do is every item in this stroller has a terrible name, and it's starting to drive me nuts. like this. this is a wubenub. it's a pacifier with a little like dead animal at the end. [ laughter ] my daughter calls it a wubby. and now i have to say the word wubby ten times a day. as if that's a thing. there's also -- we have one of these. this is a bumbo. this is to help the baby-sit upright. in case you take it to benihana or something i guess. [ laughter ] when my wife was pregnant, she slept with one of these. this is a snoogle. it's like a -- i don't know why they call it a snoogle. i g

>> yeah, then -- >> jimmy: it's a kiss by you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: by your car? so you hit -- you basically tapped it? >> i didn't even think that i did it. and i will also say, i have nice manners. and i am always like, "is everyone okay?" so, if i had thought i would have hit it -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> i would have said something. i heard some honking. suddenly a lady -- it's not even like she -- i don't even know if she opened the van door. it seems like she just, like, busted out, and she was already yelling at me. >> jimmy: okay. >> like, came out yelling. and i was like, "ooh, i'm uncomfortable." [ laughter ] okay, i'm uncomfortable because i don't like to be yelled at. and i -- but i was like, "why is this worse than when i usually feel bad about being yelled at?" and i was like, "oh, because this lady also isn't -- she's not wearing any pants." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> no slacks at all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> she came out of that van with a shirt, and that was all. and she's like, "i don't know if i'm allowed to say thi

jimmy, jimmy, jimmy. >> jimmy: yes! >> when you're looking at me, don't look at the puppet.e, you throw the entire deck as high as you can in the air. i will shoot your randomly chosen card out of the deck, and make it appear magically in that yellow balloon that teller's holding. you ready, jimmy? >> jimmy: yes. >> right after three, throw the entire deck in the air. this is for real. don't screw it up. here we go, and -- one, two, three! [ cheers ] [ gunshot ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. oh, my goodness. i -- [ light laughter ] oh, my god. this is terrible. >> hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> is this your card, the two of clubs? [ cheers ] is that your card rights there? the two of clubs! there right there. the two of clubs. the two of clubs. >> jimmy: how the heck? i -- i love you guys! >> we are magic. >> jimmy: you are magic. >> that's how we did it. we are magic. >> jimmy: that was the coolest thing ever. that is so bizarre. [ cheers and applause ] nice to see you. great to see you. how great? penn & teller, come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimm

>> jimmy: no, born. >> steve: born. >> jimmy: born to dance.s the greatest swimmer of all time. michael phelps is here. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the best. and i wouldn't have guessed this, i wouldn't have guessed this, but he's racing a great white shark this weekend. [ scattered cheers ] >> steve: for real? >> jimmy: he's racing -- for real. he's racing a great white shark. >> steve: does he get to run or does he have to swim? >> jimmy: no - [ light laughter ] i gotta -- i'll show the whole thing. but i just, would never -- i wouldn't have guessed it at all. i cannot wait to see this thing. it's "shark week," so you've got to do something. but, of course. michael phelps, he's totally going to win. >> steve: he's gonna -- he's gotta win, right? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he has to win. >> steve: why would they do it? 'cause everybody thinks the shark's gonna win. >> jimmy: yeah, well, you never know -- >> steve: i hope he doesn't jump the shark. >> jimmy: i don't know what shark -- they maybe got like an out of shape sh

> jimmy: called cool company. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: yeah.cool company? >> questlove: nah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's take a listen. this is called -- "call you back" is not the name of the song. well, it's called "call you back (i ain't gonna)." >> steve: oh, i see. >> jimmy: in parentheses. >> steve: parentheses. >> jimmy: "(i ain't gonna) call you back." here we go, take a listen. ♪ ♪ i ain't gonna call you back i ran out of love when the clock hit midnight ♪ ♪ i ain't gonna call you back is you serious thinking this was real life ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: stop, stop, stop. [ applause ] what happened? what happened? it was great for a little bit. yeah, no. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that beginning was -- >> steve: it was fantastic. ♪ ♪ i ain't gonna call you back ♪ [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it sounds like when the -- >> questlove: grimace from mcdonald's. >> jimmy: it sounds like -- it sounds like one of the teachers from "charlie brown." [ unintelligible ] [ laughter and applause ] ♪ ♪ i ain't gonna call you back girls let's top this after midnig

>> jimmy: miley cyrus!cond. >> it's all me. [ cheers and applause ] it is all me. >> jimmy: miley cyrus! >> it is all me, all night, jimmy. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. i love you. >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i knew that. i should have come to rehearsal. miley cyrus, everybody. i'll see you in a few minutes. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ light laughter ] all right, there you go, fantastic, all right, very good. let's -- let's start the show. that was -- no, no. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] it would be -- it would be rude to make our guest do the dance one more time. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] let's get to some news here. we love you. i saw that today is president trump's 71st birthday. that's right. they turned out the lights and hid until he went away. and they go, "whew, so close. [ laughter and applause ] we almost had to -- we almost had to say "happy birthday." that's right. trump turned 71 today. he got a lot of birthday cards from different people. and we actually got our hands

but -- >> jimmy: right.applause ] put the picture up on the wall. because this is -- what's going on here? this is -- >> double xl. after we did "24/7" for one of the boxing matches. >> jimmy: what's it called again? money phone or something? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: money phone. >> you know how the old school cell phones looked. >> jimmy: yeah, the big brick phone. >> yeah. that's what it look like when you've got a little paper. >> jimmy: you started this and then people started duplicating this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how much money do you need -- how much cash is in your hands? >> if it's hundreds you need like $50,000. but if it's 20s you can fake it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would have 100 on one end, 100 on the other end and your grandfather's $1 bills in the -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] that's the way to go i think. guillermo and i do a similar thing to this actually. put that picture up. we sometimes -- [ cheers and applause ] we call each other with american cheese. kraft singles. by the way, congratul

>> jimmy: no!en look at me. the roots won't even look at me. questlove won't even look at me right now. so, gross. all right, for just -- just for the record, how many things did -- did hotdog? >> just the first one. >> jimmy: right, just the first one hot-dogged. this last one was a total, total nightmare. >> but now we know. >> yeah, yeah. >> and that's all that matters. >> yeah, now you don't have to do this. >> jimmy: see, that's why i love you guys. [ light laughter ] that's why you guys exist. my thanks to rhett and link. [ cheers and applause ] check out "good mystical morning" every weekday on youtube. more with rhett and link when we come back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what's going on here? um... i'm babysitting. that'll be $50 bucks. you said $30. yeah, well it was $30 before my fees, like the pizza-ordering fee and the dog-sitting fee... and the rummage through your closet fee. are those my heels? yeah! yeah, we're the same size...in shoes. with t-mobile taxes and fees are al