>> yeah. >> jimmy: 12! >> 12. >> jimmy: dude. dozen. >> jimmy: hey, man. 12 more than jimmy fallon got. [ laughter ] >> geez man. you okay? >> jimmy: what's up? >> what's -- what's on your mind? [ laughter ] is it just because of the emmy nominations or something else? >> jimmy: it's bunch of things. i don't know if i feel like getting into it right now. it's like -- [ laughter ] >> hey, pretend they're not here. no one's here. it's just me and you. >> jimmy: no, dude. you're -- you're in the room in your boxers. okay? chill out, and relax you know? >> everyone in this crowd is naked. everyone. >> jimmy: everyone's in their boxers. >> look at that. >> everyone is naked.. yeah. [ cheers ] just tell me. look at everybody.ok i mean, t them. are you happy? all right. >> i never got that. >> jimmy: just tell me what's -- i never got that either. >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, but what's going, man [ laughter ] worst question ever. >> like, "so, what's going in your life, man?"wh >> jimmy: so's going on, man? tell me. >> oh, my gosh. [

d your pals. >> yes. >> jimmy: leslie jones. >> yeah. >> jimmy >> whoo.ant. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: kenan- >> my friends. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you -- you're not competitive in that way, right? no, you -- >> i am just so excited fo friends. god, i love my friends. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> good friends and colleagues, w. >> jimmy: do you -- >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: do you hang out with -- do you hang ou them outside of the show? 'cause i know on "snl," when i was there, i would just say, "you stay -- you spend so much time together that when you got time off, you're like, "i'm good." >>hteah. [ la ] >> jimmy: you ever go back to their families and do stuff? do you hang out ike -- >> i hang out with leslie sometimes. leslie -- we like to go on adventures. we -- our most recent was to the met. >> jimmy: wow. >>e went to the knight in shining armor room. >> jimmy: oh, wow.d >> and we fofriend who we did a lot of bits about who ha has,would we call it? i guess an upturned codpiece. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, yeah. i understand, yeah. >> and so for myirthday, she sent me a picture of it in

jimmy: yeah.right. omarosa's new book is out today. you can find it at most bookstores in the section marked "i can't believe this is u.s. history." [ laughter and applause ] i saw that in the book, omarosa claims that trump refers to education secretary betsy devos as "ditzy devos." [ laughter ] when betsy heard, she was like, "wait, have i been saying it wrong this whole time?" [ laughter ] no, your name is betsy. [ applause ] and omarosa also claims that melania can't wait for trump to leave office so that she can divorce him. [ audience oohs ] in response, melania said, "that's outrageous. i told her that in confidence." [ laughter and applause ] you see this? earlier this morning, trump tweeted about omarosa again, writing, "good work by general kelly for quickly fired that dog." [ audience oohs ] yeah, trump called omarosa a a dog. then he rolled over for putin, barked at his staff and ate a a bunch of paper. [ laughter ] and you go -- oh, that's weird. [ cheers and applause ] actually, ever

>> jimmy: oh, my gosh.laughter ] tells me to stay away but you can just text and go, "hey, i'm doing this video?? >> well, like, i texted her, of course, because, like, without madonna, i wouldn't be able to make a song like that. you know what i mean? she paved the way for all of us. and has been here fighting that fight way longer than any of us. >> jimmy: she is awesome. >> yeah. i mean, so i -- >> jimmy: she's one of the coolest people. >> ever, in the whole world. but, i just -- you know, of course i immediately thought of her to be involved somehow because without her, i wouldn't be able to make that song. and so i texted her, and i was like, "hey, um -- my next single is called 'god is a a woman.' i'd love to send it to you and see what you think. and there's, like, a little part in the video that would be perfect for you if you would like even consider doing it." i was like, "i hate myself for even asking you any favors. but you'll see why it's fitting. here you go." and she was like, "oh, yeah, i'l

here we go. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you ready, jimmy?t laughter ] >> who can you always trust? >> jimmy: george sampson. >> what's the capitol of earth? >> jimmy: ugniged. [ laughter ] >> uniged? when is tomorrow? >> jimmy: tomorrow. [ laughter ] >> how do you dance? >> jimmy: like this. [ laughter ] [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you do dance like that. >> jimmy: i just got it. >> uniged. >> jimmy: uniged. >> uniged. >> jimmy: capitol of earth. i didn't know what was happening. >> i love to fly uniged. i love uniged. >> jimmy: all right, it's time for the final round. >> okay. >> jimmy: in this round we'll both pick up a card with the same set of questions. we'll ask and answer them one at a time. going back and forth. >> mmm. >> jimmy: and there's only one winner. >> yeah. how do we know who wins? >> jimmy: the sound at the end. [ light laughter ] >> all right. okay. >> jimmy: here we go. now, will i go first? our you'll ask the first question? >> i just want to find -- i just want to find my center and just kind of get to -- >> j

islight laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, s -- >> and -- >> jimmy: what?e house and [ bleep ] everywhere. [ laughter ] and -- >> jimmy: this is the best minterview i've ever had entire life. i'm so intrigued. >> you said this last time, because it was a giant teacup pig. >> jimmy: that's right. your mom is very interesting. mom on the ave you show. [ laughter ] >> and that pig is still alive. and she lling me the story about -- because we grew up with, you know, not a lot of money. and so i would make my toys. and i made bat wings out of like recycled cardboard boxes. and i would sleep in them. and i would run around in them. and i would jump off high things. >> jimmy: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> nd she would have to cat me. and she just said that we would have to keep like, gaffer taping them. because they were like soggy, and wet and smelly and gross. and i just lived in them >> jimmy: and now you're batwoman. >> and now i'll get ones that aren't made of cardboard. >> jimmy: yeah.la [ cheers and ae ] dude, oh my gosh. is that a good story or not? >> it's

>> jimmy: no.ey, listen. >> jimmy: we want -- am i too judgmental? >> it's just that -- um jimmy: is that hummus? >> if this doesn'ts, you don't know where we're going from here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, i should be thankful that thia hummused fottle bit. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. >> you ever been walking around next to the meterranean sea, you will? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: i've walked on the sea. [ laughter ] >> very hungry, and you thought s yourself, "you know what i like to eat in humrm? ground beef, boxed pasta and powdered sauce." well, now you can. ♪ hamburger lper. will it hummus? [ cheers and applause ] >> jim: all right. i think -- i think this is gonna work. [ audience ohs ] >>.eah. ye >> this is 75% of my diet from gradschool all through college. >> right. [ laughter ] it's just mashed up like in baby food. >> jimmy: yeah. okay. >> it's a full meal. >> jimmy: that's true. >> it's got that going, 'cause amburger helper is alread a full meal. >> jimmy: we love hamburger

>> jimmy: yup.at. [ light laughter ]th 's the first time i have said it. >> steve: yeah. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: i'll show you what i'm talking about. it's time for "tonight show gifs." here we go. ♪ tonight show gifs [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. first up, let's take a look at th gif of donald trump. [ laughter ] this gif is called "when you've got front row seats to 'bob the builder live.'" oh, yeah! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: yes, you c >> jimmy: this next -- next is a gif of drake from his new c musivideo. [ light laughter ] his gif is called "when your friend repeats your joke louder and it gets a big laugh." [ laughter and applause ] it's like, "i just said that." here's a popular gif of a dog. i don't know if you saw this from a couple of weeks ago.[ ughter ] look at that. t s gif says, "when you realize the waiters are ab sing you happy birthday." it's like, "oh. [ laughter and applaus] here come the -- here come the candles. no!" next is a gif of a jump

no. >> jimmy: no. >> jimmy, don't do this. >> jimmy: no. >> it's okay. >> jimmy: i can't do it.mewhere and they'll, like, you know, pitch a tent lyr you. it's nice and lo >> jimmy: okay, that's what i'll do. >> without, like, putting other people in danger. >> jimmy: we'll talk. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmylawe'll talk. hter ] >> jimmy: let's talk about your movie, "the spy who dumped me." >> yes. >> jimmy: super funny. >> thank you. >> jimmy: cong >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: you, kate mckinnon. i mean, we love -- i love kate mckinnon. >> kate's great. kate's the best. immy: i mean, fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: explain -- set up the movie. it's a -- >> yeah, so, it's -- the best way i can explain it is it's like if "007" and "bridesmaids" had a baby, it would be us. >> jimmy: yes.'s threat. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a great way of putting it. >> it's a -- it's an action-comedy. b it's about tt friends. they get -- go on this, you know, crazy adventure. our second unit was the same stunt guys that did "bourne" and "007." so, we have unbelievable action sequences.

>> jimmy: fantastic.la, okay. oh, sorry. isabella. the movie "mamma mia! here we go again" is in theaters tomorrow. it's a romantic comedy. if there was a movie about your love life, what would it be called? >> o god. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a pretty good name. "oh, god." [ laughter ] all right. "oh god." alright, here we go. h god." all right, very good. who would play the two lead roles in your movie?y >> oh,odness. okay. oh, gosh. two lead roles? >> jimmy: yeah, who do you like? >> ltors i like? >> jimmy: sure. >> oh. well, me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you would cast yourself in your own movie. yeah, why not? >> why not? >> jimmyof course, yeah. launch my acting career. >> jimmy: i love it isabella. >> and my favorite actor? oh, gosh. zac efron. >> jimmy: yeah, there you go zac efron. very good. zac efron. [ applause ] we love him, too., gu have isabella here. if there was a movie made about her love life, it would be called "oh god." [ laughter ] the leads will be played by her and, of course, zac

so, the bugs will be repelled. >> jimmy: yes. >> right. >> jimmy: from the ankles. >> okay. >> jimmy:i think that would work. >> jimmy: that's -- that's not bad? >> yeah, that's not bad. >> jimmy: again, "ocean spray," call me. 'cause maybe we -- i mean. no, i'm just kidding. i know that we talked about this, and you're -- you love it. an on doing -- i'm --fandwich o this is, like, the pitch for this piece. 'cause i really wanna do a a piece on "sunday morning" about liverwurst. and since we're running out of animals to feature in our end moment of nature, maybe we can feature liverwurst. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: a moment of liverwurst. >> yes. >> jimmy: let's do it, right here. mo rocca, everybody. please, cheers. [ cheers and applause ] >> we leave you now -- >> jimmy: we leave you -- >> with the liverwurst sandwich. >> jimmy: cheers. >> cheers. >> jimmy: mo rocca! check him out on "cbs sunday morning." we'll be right back with the performance from j. balvin and nicky jam! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm not picking it up. you pick it up. i'm not picking it up. well, somebody's gotta pi

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show.hank you for watching. thanks for coming. thank you for joining us. [ cheers and applause ] that's very nice. i want to thank you for joining us on what was the first day back to school for a lot of kids here in l.a. today children across los angeles headed to school with a heart full of song and a thermos full of kombucha. [ laughter ] that is what we do here. what is kombucha? i don't know what it is. it seems weird to me school starts in august. when i was a kid you'd go to school and summer was punishment for making a bong in wood shop class. [ laughter ] meanwhile, all hell is breaking loose in washington as the battle between president trump and his former adviser slash "apprentice" contestant omarosa rages on. i'm not sure who i'm supposed to root for in this. it's like lord voldemort versus king geoffrey. omarosa put a new book out today in which, among other things, she called the president a racist, a bigot, a misogynist. she also claims to have heard a recording of president

>> okay. >> jimmy: go. >> okay, film. >> jimmy: tv show. >> spy -- the spy. >> jimmy: shark -- "sharknadoearch for something. the look -- the search -- >> i don't know what i'm looking at. >> jimmy: where are -- where's my glasses? second word. >> "finding nemo"! "finding nemo"! [ ding ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you guys, the winners right there! jamie foxx, taron egerton. [ cheers and applause ] zoey deutch is my partner. we're talking to zoey after the break. stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm captain obvious and hotels.com rewards me basically everywhere. so why am i hosting a dental convention after party in my vegas suite? or wearing a full-body wetsuit at this spa retreat? or sliding into this ski lodge with my mini horse kevin? because hotels.com lets me do me, right? sorry, the cold makes him a little horse. hotels.com. you do you and get rewarded. you're wearing a hat. that's funny. homegoods. go finding. you're wearing a hat. that's funny. at at&t innovations, we give you more for your thing. here were adding tv and movies from our unlimited plan

ear. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: you're right. >> jimmy: yeah, it's not. >> steve: no, it's not. >> jimmyards -- >> steve: ear drummer. >> jimmy: yeah, they're ear drummers. [ light laughter ] it's ear drummers, right? >> questlove: apparently. [ laughter ] >> steve: man, he sold you out fast. >> jimmy: no, tariq was just laughing too hard, man, i >> steve: it loo l yes, it is. >> jimmy: it's ear drummers? >> tariq: yeah. >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. like drummers ear you think is something you get like swimmers ear. >> tariq: like, cauliflower ear. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. that's not, that's not the case. this is ear drummers. so they hear beats. the last time they came on it was cape night, remember? we had -- just everyone wore capes on our show. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and so they come out -- and they came out to perform and they wore capes. that was like, that's so cool that they did that. i love these guys. anyways, rae sremmurd is here you guys. there here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] "sremm 3" is the name of the album, there. guys, it's time for "tonight s

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, welcome. very nice. hi, i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. i'm so glad we could have this, you know, this moment. very nice. i appreciate that. since you're in such a festive mood, here's a fun fact about me. sometimes when i'm on the highway and i see one of those trucks that say how am i driving on the back rl i call the number and say, "pretty good." [ laughter ] speed's fine. nothing unusual. from back here, everything looks a-okay, i'm going to hang up. [ cheers and applause ] you ever do anything like that, guillermo? >> guillermo: no, never. >> jimmy: give it a shot. not everything has to be a complaint all the time, you know? we have an interesting show for you tonight. christian slater and sean spicer are here. [ cheers and applause ] not together, though. they arrived separately, they will be leaving separately. you may remember sean spicer from his work in the hilarious 2017 comedy show "the white house press briefings." that seems like it was a hundred years ago, d

> jimmy: did it?en the movie? >> i've let one actual classmate see the movie and she loved it. >> jimmy: it's rated "r" so they'd have to get their parent or their uber driver to bring them in the theater. [ laughter ] >> the hope is -- i think it's great that it's rated "r." now parents and kids will have to see it together. sit in opposite ends of the theater, talk about it afterwards. >> jimmy: yeah, i wonder about that, i wonder if kids are going to want parents to see this. i know there's a whole secret society that goes on. maybe you can tell me a little about it. >> sure, sure. >> jimmy: there are fake instagram accounts which they call, rather cleverly, thinstagram accounts. that is true? >> i know those exist but i have no insight into them. i have older friends who know about them. >> jimmy: so that's already old? >> i don't know. i don't know if it's old. that is one of the things -- >> jimmy: you're under oath here and you need to tell the truth. [ laughter ] >> i'm so sorry, i'm not lying

>> jimmy: and then -- >> they got me out. >> jimmy: but then -- >> they got me out. >> jimmy: you'renning. [ cheers and applause ] dude, that is the best thing. [ cheers and applause ] i've never seen that done before. when did you think -- when did you decide that -- >> first -- >> jimmy: your comedy mind that you were going just run around the whole bases. >> first of all -- [ laughter ] that's what we do, as black people -- run. okay? [ laughter ] so i was not going to stop at the first base. >> jimmy: no. >> and i don't care if you got me out. i'm going to keep running. but when i got to the second base, i was like, "this was a a mistake. [ laughter ] i am tired. i will never yell at stanton again!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> i was -- i ran into home. and they're like, "slide, slide!" my knees was like, "bitch, if you slide -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] i will quit you right now. i will quit you." >> jimmy: oh, my. your knees were talking to you. oh, my. >> the knees was like, "we ain't havin' it. you are done." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: dude, i've got to say congratulati

>> jimmy: course. >> ready? >> jimmy: ready?[ whack ] "oh, be right." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> let me tell you something. let me tell you something. >> jimmy: not bad. >> first of all, it's flattery. isn't that supposed to be the highest form of flattery? >> jimmy: yes, of course. an impression, yeah. about it, it's like a double insult. because, well, he's making fun of my voice. and he's making fun of my golf gamehit that may bad shots. he's talking about a time when we played golf together. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. and another thing, i don't want to take anything away from jon hamm. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but here's what pisses me off about it. [ laughter ] no, but he's handsome. and he's funny. >> jimmy: i know. >> that son of a bitch. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. [ laughter ] i'm mad, too. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, i'm mad too. >> yes. i don't -- >> jimmy: i will never have him back on the show, ever. >> here's him. here's jon hamm hitting a bad golf shot. go ahead. do the thing. [ laughter ] [ whack ] "i don't give a

. >> right now jimmy kimmel, kristin bell. >> >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- kristen bell. from "blackkklansman," john david washington. and music from brett eldredge. and now, first and foremost, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. very nice. thank you, everybody. very nice, thanks. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. welcome to hollywood. you know what, it was a big day in hollywood today. we had some big motion picture news today. they're making big changes to the oscars. the academy of motion pictures arts and sciences is cutting the length of the oscars telecast drastically to three hours long. which according to most everyone on twitter is still two hours too long. [ laughter ] but it's a start. the plan is to give out the oscars for some of the less-popular categories in the commercial break. so while the commercials are going on, somebody will be there thanking their parents and the parents won't hear any of it. sorry, best live action short, you had a good run. an

> jimmy: yeah.sour face. >> tariq: hacker? >> jimmy: yes. [ bell ] rico nasty? >> tariq: rapper. >> jimmy: that's true. [ bell ] czarface? >> tariq: rapper. >> jimmy: yes. [ bell ] >> tariq: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sea daddy. >> tariq: hacker. >> jimmy: yes. [ bell ] [ cheers ] big baby gandhi? >> tariq: hacker. [ buzzer ] [ crowd groans ] >> jimmy: rapper. power-shell back door. [ light laughter ] >> tariq: neither. i don't know. [ laughter ] [ buzzer ] it's a hacker. >> jimmy: penuckle. >> tariq: rapper. [ bell ] >> jimmy: yeah. i like that name. ac i think -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you're black thought. >> tariq: rapper. >> jimmy: hacker. [ buzzer ] cake duke. >> tariq: hacker. [ bell ] >> jimmy: yes. i tried to sell it like he was rapper, yeah. >> tariq: i know. >> jimmy: finally, skipper? >> tariq: uhm -- sailor. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: he is a hacker, and a a rapper. skipper. he's double. [ bell ] [ applause ] ♪ great job. tariq trotter everybody. blackenergy. give it up for bl

thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: we got the number one fish taco in new york city from eater.com. >> oy. >> jimmy. >> so, he's the thing is, i grew up with 99 cent tacos. i feel like these ones might be a little more fancy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, trust me. >> really? >> jimmy: they're less than 99 cents. >> all right, i'm gonna try and make this look cute. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: 50 cents. >> mmm. [ cheers and applause ] not bad. honestly. >> jimmy: not bad? >> not bad. i'm impressed. >> jimmy: fantastic. ki thanks to emily ratajko [ cheers and applause ] "welcome home" is out this fall.'l have music from greta van fleet after the break. stick around, everybody. come back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ main menu. oh! ok, robot. press one. i'm sorry, zero is not an option. rep-re-sen-ta-tive! please say the name of your second pet. rok-narr... incorrect. your call is important to us. we'll be with you shortly. oh! ok! good! yes! hello, daniel. can you hold, please? no! please! main menu. calling customer service is the worst. so t-mobile just made it better no bots. no bouncing, real customer

jimmy: i know.i mean there was no end. but it was just -- yea i, uh -- but yeah. >> jimmy: and then who calmed you down, or what ?lmed you do >> well, we -- i mean, we were in the studio. we were writing, and i was like, "ugh!" !"was like, "i can't breat and they were like, "we're going to write this song," and i was like, "okay, i still can't breathe, but we'll write it.". >> jimmy: ye so you end up writing this song. >> yeah, we made this song. i can kind of breathe now.. so it was go progress. >> jimmy: it's a fun -- it's a fun song, though. it turned into a like poppy, good -- >> yeah, we made a pop song -- >> jimmy: yeah, here it is, "breathin." st -- out of it. >> jimmy: first of this. here we go. [ cheers ] ♪ ♪ time goes by and i can't control my m don't know what else to try ♪ ♪ but you tell me every time ♪ ♪ just keep breathing and breathin and breathing and breathing ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i know i got to keep keep on breathing ♪re ♪ just keephing and breathing and breathing and breat

cardigan. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i know what -- >> yes, cardigan. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes. >> jimmy: little coffee vest. and -- and she gave me her phone number on it. and it was weird. ouwell, i'm not gonna call [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, of course you don't -- >> look, i mean, we've had a a hug. at's enough. that's all. >> jimmy: and a cry. yeah, exactly. yeah. >> but somehow, she got ahol of my number [ laughter ] and, not reading the room. and -- >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, really persistent. >> but -- i did not kn'd sent me a text. and i was in the middle of texting someone else. so, no real good reason, but i was keen to send my friend a a picte of chuck norris. [ laughter ] and i accidentally sent it to emma thompson. >> jimmy: ug. [ er ] >> it was -- she sent me a text going, "that was an amazing show.t i, you know,ok me all night to process it. it's changed my future of the world." and i'm like, chuck norris, double denim. cha-choo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like, what is wrong with this person? [ cheers and applause ] i've never met anyone like this person. and -- how is your

is a tip. >> jimmy: i don't know if that is a tip. >> it's a tip, jimmy. >> jimmy: it is a tip?i don't do it for money, i do it for the kids! come here, i do it for the kids! >> jimmy: how excited these children are to see you. >> he's excited. the sparkle in the little boy's eyes when he hears the sound of the hulk flying in the hulk-copter! hulk fly, arrgh! >> jimmy: what's a hulk-copter? >> it's my -- the hulk's private helicopter. >> jimmy: the hulk does not have a helicopter. >> he's got a [ bleep ] hulk-copter! >> jimmy: he does not. >> i'm the hulk! i know what i fly! >> jimmy: all right. >> don't make me angry, jimmy, you wouldn't like me when i'm angry. >> jimmy: may i ask -- >> you wouldn't like me when i'm angry. >> jimmy: what happens when you're angry? >> my back hurts and i get quiet. >> jimmy: okay, all right. nobody wants that. i'll let you get back to work. thank you, jon. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, superman. thank you, spider-man. wow. that's amazing. those three guys have ten emmys between them, it's incredible. we're going to take a break. w

>> jimmy: yes.onally different burgers from all over the globe. [ light laughter ] oh my god. guys, some celebrity news. later this month, david hasselhoff is getting married in italy. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers ] he said -- he said it will be a a short ceremony except for the 45 minutes it will take him to walk down the aisle. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] oh hey, listen to this. did you hear about this? i read that burberry actually burns a lot of their unsold clothes. then t.j. maxx pulls them from the ashes and puts them on the -- the pile. they throw them on the pile of clothes. [ applause ] >> steve: international house of burberry. >> jimmy: get this, a new study looked at how much air is inside different bags of chips and found that cheetos has the most. [ audience ohs ] when the researcher presented his findings, his wife was like, "this is what you do for a living?" [ laughter and applause ] "oh, honey, this has less air than lays has more --" [ light laughter ] were ayou do? a scientist.

>> jimmy: i mean, rit? yeah. >> jimmy: not bad. >> yes. >> jimmy: they love you, i love you.my: -- there's so much to talk about. >> i know. >> jimmy: congrats on everything. >> thank you. >> jimmy: dude, you work so hard. you work -- there are so many thingsnghat you're dso i want to get to everything. >> okay. you don't have to. >> jimmy: no, i do -- >> it makes me tiredbu >> jimmyi want to congratulate you on the mtv -- the video vanguard award. >> i know. >> jimmy: i can't evw. talk right >> i know. i -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i can't even -- no, i'm getting emotional thinking about it. >> the other day we announced it on mtv, and i got so emotional. it was embarrassing almost. i was like, oh, my god, get a a hold of yourself. >> jimmy: no. >> i walked in, and, you know, i grew up in the whole mtv age with "trl." i mean we didn't have phones all of the tim so we watched mtv all day long. oat's all we did, and when i started releasing music, and going to "trl," you know, there would be all these fans there. >> jimmy: yes. >> and 20 years later now, all those fan

: "ohma." >> jimmy: "ahma." >> mark: "ohma." >> jimmy: "ahma." >> mark: "ohma." >> jimmy: "ahma." [ togetherma. ohma. ahma. ohma." >> kamal: wait, wait, wait, wa.stop, stop, stop, stop it. don't you see what's happening here? huh? that's exactly what they want. [ laughter ] they want to tear you apart! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: gosh, you're right. sorry, mark. >> mark: i'm sorry jimmy. >> jimmy: thanks, kamal. >> mark: thanks, kamal. >> kamal: it's pronounced "camel." [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: how am i supposed to -- i didn't know that. thank you, mark and camel from the roots, everybody. [ indiscernible ] [ cheers and applause ] i saw that white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders couldn't guarantee that there's no tape of trump using racial slurs. sarah said, "at this point, think of anything and there's probably a tape of trump doing it." [ laughter ] [ applause ] yeah, in the past few weeks, trump has insulted several notable african americans like omarosa, lebron james and don lemon. but today trump said, "he'll stop. because those are all african-americans he knows." [ cheers and

>> no. >> jimmy: really, never? >> no. >> jimmy: why?you don't think you'd be good? >> i wouldn't really pass any of the things that you have to pass. but i guess trump did it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you would be a boy scout by comparison. >> yeah, yeah. no -- i like doing what i'm doing. >> jimmy: you like doing -- yeah, yeah. there's no fun in that, is there? >> i don't know if i could be responsible for the whole country. >> jimmy: you know what, i think that at this point? almost anybody would be doing a better job. [ laughter ] >> what about you? >> jimmy: yeah, and i wouldn't do a better job, but i think -- you know what, if you agreed to run for president, i would be happy to be your running mate. let's put it that way. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh. >> jimmy: i say that because i know you won't. >> but that would be fun, though. >> jimmy: you would be the first president with diamonds on his teeth. think of the history there. [ laughter ] that really -- >> that's right. >> jimmy: -- really would be somethi

t >> jimmy: i los. >> thanks a lot. >> jimmy: the director, jesse peretz. >> yes. >> jimmy: i love himon a nick hornby novel and it's chris o'dowd and i play a a couple who have sort have, like, been unhappily together for a long te. he's obsessed with this musician played by ethan hawke who's kind of like a a jeff buckley-typreclusive character. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then i end up getting sort of involved with him we online and thend up kind of -- me and chris break up and we -- and ethan and i sort have this sort of relatiohip. >> jimmy: and ethan sings in the movie. >> he does. he sings. beautifully sings his own songs and, yeah, jesse peretz directed it. it's very funny. 's very -- it's unlike a film you would usually see these days. it's very -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> gentle romantic comedy. >> jimmy: that good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love a nice comedy. >> well, that's what we need, guys. >> jimmy: i want to show everyo a clip. we do, we need some that. we love that! [ cheers and applause ] here's rose byrne and ethan hawke in "juliet, naked." take a look! >> i can explain this. >> ma

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thank you. welcome. i'm jimmy, i'm the host.hank you for watching. thanks for coming. i know it's very hot outside. i appreciate that. thanks for enduring me. thank you. you know what? i know you're really cheering for the air conditioning but i appreciate it, i really do. [ laughter ] we are in the middle what was they're calling an extended heat wave here in southern california. also known as summer. [ laughter ] it's very hot. i think god is doing wus what the hit with the magnifying glass does with the anthill. [ laughter ] here's something kind of interesting. the west hollywood city council passed a movement to remove donald trump's star from the hollywood walk of fame. [ cheers and applause ] someone took a pick ax to the star, and they don't want it to be replaced. he has a star for hosting "the apprentice," i guess, which that alone warrants investigation. [ laughter ] since he was elected president, people have been vandalizing his star. and here's the thing. trump's star isn't in west hollywood where they voted, it's

your name is jimmy. >> jimmy: my name's james. >> that's your real name?y: yes. >> i didn't know that. >> jimmy: i feel like you're mad at me now. >> looks line somebody about to get their credit checked. >> jimmy: i propose a toast to james. >> yes, to james. >> jimmy: the king. >> toast. you know what else is really good about white people? >> jimmy: what? >> inheritances. a lot of them got inheritances. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. you got a inheritance, don't you? >> jimmy: i don't know if my dad's leaving me anything. >> i bet y'all don't have to do fish fries and car washes to bury a family member. >> jimmy: no, yeah, you're right, probably not in our house. >> i don't think y'all would have it. >> dicky: ciroc peach. the answer to all of life's ridiculous questions. at at&t innovations, we give you more for your thing. here were adding tv and movies from our unlimited plan to the powerful new samsung galaxy note9... ...the perfect device for entertainment & productivity. so, it's essentially the ed helms of devices? how so? well he's both very enterta

jimmy! >> jimmy: can do some sand -- some sand gags there.one has their gifts. please put them under your chair. because it's the opposite of oprah. [ laughter ] we actually give you gifts and then ask them to put them under your chairs. hey guys, as you know, president trump doesn't trust the media. well, now he's decided to do mething about it. he's actually broadcasting his own news channel. so thahe can give the news the way he wants to. let's turn it on right now and see what's happeng. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]: >> jimlcome back to the trump news network. the bigleyest and newslit network in the world. let's get to tonight's top story. this morning, i tweeted, t "collusion is crime." and it worked. apparently if you say something's not a crime then it's not a crime. watch this tax evasion? not a crime.e bootlegging w "mama mia" movie? not a crime. [ laughter ] committing a crime? not a crime. i'm in the clear. and it's all thanks to my fantastic lawyer rudy giulian look at him, the epitome of calm. i love rudy. he's had a great week. pe

and now, don't move -- here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: welcome. very nice. thank you. hi, guillermo. how you doing? hi there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching the show. thanks for coming to the show. how's your summer going so far? is it going all right? [ cheers and applause ] how many of you are representing us from out of town tonight? [ cheers and applause ] more importantly, how many of you traveled with an emotional support animal? nobody? okay. you know about these emotional support animals, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: people get a note, you pay like $40 and some bogus online doctor will give you a note that says you have a medical need to take a monkey on the plane. it started with animals people actually need, like seeing-eye dogs. someone decided, i'm disabled too, i have emotional problems that can only be solved by carrying a big-horned sheep on my lap. [ laughter ] lawyers got involved and now it's a thing. emotional support animals. you can't have a bag of peanuts on the plane because people are allergic, but you can brin

a jimmy: yeah.teve: two quarter pump, seven-eighths -- >> jimmy: seven-eighths type of pump how long have we worked together? >> steve: d say about 19 1/2, 19 and 3/4 years. >> jimmy: did you evlize we have similar voices. [ light laughter ] >> stevei didn't until -- dad? [ laughter ] ♪: >> jimank you, washing the spoon in the sink, for turning my utensil into a super aker. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, everything bagels, for being the only breakfast food that looks like it was dropped under the couch two weeks ago. [ laughter and applause ] i mean, i'll eat it. ♪ thank you, air conditioners, for challenging my t a constant game of who can be loudest. [ light laughter ] there you go, everyb thank you. those are my "thank you notes." we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ main menu. oh! ok, robot. press one. i'm sorry, zero is not an option. rep-re-sen-ta-tive! please say the name of your second pet. rok-narr... incorrect. your call is important to us.

>> jimmy: right. music and people said it wouldn't work out. then i started producing and selling beats and i started selling beats to jay-z, rocafella and that started going well. i said i wanted to rap and people said that wouldn't work, they had this term producer rapper. it meant you wouldn't rap as well as the real rappers. that started working out. i said i wanted to design closes and that started working out. >> jimmy: what's the next -- what is next for you? >> well -- >> jimmy: space force? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i would totally be involved. >> jimmy: you should design the uniforms for the space force. is that something that you would do if president trump asked you to do that? >> i'm into designing. >> jimmy: yeah. why not? [ laughter ] your wife was here last week -- >> space force! >> jimmy: oh my goodne somebody put a leash on him, will you? your wife was here last week. and she's very nice. and she did something i would imagine you're very proud of. she went to washingto

>> jimmy, this is to make sandwiches. >> jimmy: yes. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: it's a panini maker. >> ohthese are off a bridal registry. >> i love paninis. >> jimmy: the first question is, what is your fiance's middle name? middle name. oh, okay. >> i didn't know it for the longest time. >> jimmy: well, the important thing is you know it now. okay, garrett, we'll start with you. what is becca's middle name. jill. that correct? >> yeah. i had the think about that for a second. >> jimmy: what is garrett's middle name. >> it is vincent. >> jimmy: vincent. okay. very good. you win a panini maker. your next prize is what, guillermo? >> this is to scoop either the ice cream or fruit. >> jimmy: technically, it's a -- i don't know how small the ice cream cones are at your house, guillermo. but that is for melons. that is a melon baller. the question is, name one of your fiance's grandparents. doesn't have to be alive, or dead. nana doesn't count. okay. oh, good. garrett has finished first, again. garrett, name one of becca's grandparents. garrett says -- >> yes! clyde the glide. >> jimmy: well d

it's very -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> gentle romantic comedy. >> jimmy: that good. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love some that. we love that! [ cheers and applause ] here's rose byrne and ethan hawke in "juliet, naked." take a look! >> i can explain this. >> maxwell's 89.dussdorf. did i play dusseldorf? >> it's not what it looks like. i can explai >> that's me and my high school chess club. >> yeah. >> i can explain this to you. i know this looks weird. remember the review on the website and the guy -- and it was a really, like, over the top review and he calls him like a sad sap blogger and -- >> oh. duncan? >> yeah. >> something. >> oh, my god. if he knew that you knew his name. so, that guy is the guy. >> that's your -- >> yes! >> that's 15 years of -- >> yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, yeah, bingo! >> jimmy: yeah! come on, pal. [ cheers and applause ] rose and i are playing a new game called "eye to eye" when we come back. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ you have a side that saved for her to go out of state. ♪ ♪ now she's in and you can celebrate. ♪ ♪ a side that's getting your li