[ laughter ] >> jimmy: long >> long. >> jimmy: mm-hmm legs >> quake >> jimmy: legs >> thanks. >> jimmy laughter ] [ cymbal crash ] >> i believe in you. i believe in you >> jimmy: d-d-d -- >> this is way harder than it looks. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: god. daddy long legs. >> daddy long legs >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ♪ [ indiscernible you did it fantastic! >> why did that sound weird to be like i need more of that? >> jimmy: dude, it was hilarious. oh my god. it was the best. oh my gosh you are good at this all right, here we go. last one, here we go this is for all the marbles. we can do this >> "oh so i have to say i had a crush on this man. [ laughter ] [ speaking foreign language he's just so fantastic." >> jimmy: are you doing it now [ speaking foreign language >> "i am, actually okay, okay, i am." >> jimmy: all right, sorry here we go >> "antonio banderas." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is it in spanish [ speaking in foreign language ] >> "antonio. [ speaking in foreign language ] [ laughter ] >> "banderas." [ speaking in foreign language ] >> "antonio banderas antonio banderas."

and now, stay still, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for coming. please, relax, that's very nice. thank you for being a part of our mandatory quarantine. no one's leavin' the room for eight weeks. so get to know each other. i am honored you braved the germs to be with us tonight. the stock market is down and the coronavirus is up. this planet is going to purel in a handbasket. so they just identified the first case of this new coronavirus here in the state of california, and it's mysterious, because the person who got it didn't go anywhere or come into contact with anyone who traveled from one of these viral hotspots overseas. last night i ordered post mates, and before i opened the door i made the delivery guy spray himself down with the hose. this is how they're cracking down on the virus in had china. they've deployed remote control tanks that shoot disinfectant onto the citizenry. it's of, that should clear it up. it's a lysol roomba. but we don't have that. president trump is concerned, not necessa

>> yeah. >> jimmy: that's pretty good frannie, did you draw this >> no. >> jimmy: hm >> i did >> jimmy: how about tonight's charity? john legend is on the show and he is working with feedingamerica.org which is pretty cool did you draw that, frannie >> no. >> i did >> jimmy: thank you, winnie. >> frannie, you going to hang out back there >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, good john legend is our guest tonight. and we'll be talking about feeding america, which is awesome. they have over 200 food banks. they're helping food pantries all over -- nationwide they're amazing. jose andres is very close to them he is just doing -- he is like an angel, that guy he is amazing. we'll be talking about that. also, later in the show, we're going to have some of our favorite clips from "the tonight the show," including nicole kidman, one of the most awkward interviews i've ever done so, get ready for that guy, here in the quarantine i start off my morning by coming downstairs and making fresh coffee no big deal. not the stuff of miracles, except for this morning. take a look at what happened this morning >> ji

>> yeah. >> jimmy: you crushed that movie. >> awe, thank you. >> jimmy: that was all you, man.ut i did mean that. i read somewhere that you grew up in oakwood apartments >> yeah, a lot of my adolescence was spent there. yeah, yeah >> jimmy: this is these -- this apartment -- i don't know what you call it, where all -- basically a lot of kid actors live - >> yeah. >> jimmy: and, kind of, go on auditions and stuff. >> yeah, they come up for pilot season and that kind of thing, yeah >> jimmy: so, did you meet a a bunch of your friends there and that's - >> i was kind of a loner but there were a lot of kids who come out there there was a little bit of competition. like you've meet up at the pool and it would be like, "what auditions are you going on" or you know, "who's your agent. and i was always a bit freaked out. and occasionally you would see people like hilary duff or frankie muniz just hanging out and -- >> jimmy: wow. >> they were the cool kids and i was always like, "oh, god. >> jimmy: really >> "this is scary. >> jimmy: but did it help you with your -- did you -- did they

>> jimmy: yes! get buckets and we raise money for the actors fund which supports actors in times like this so they've created this emergency fund, it's the emergency assistance fund. we're trying to raise $1 million for people in the performing arts who need help right now because they're not making a living. housing, food, sort of whatever needs doing, so i'm here with a literal disinfected red bucket and so, you know, i've been posting -- it got me back on twitter and i've been just trying to make little live videos and raising money for them because that's my little corner and that's where i can be of service. >> jimmy: what website actually do we go to? >> well, i have the good fortune of -- this became our art activity i've drawn the website and my son drew you he wanted you to know, jimmy, that that's a monster. that's a sea monster with eggs and that's a - [ laughter ] -- on top and the website is broadwaycares.org/help2020 my 2-year-old wanted to get in on the fun too he's not quite with the

>> jimmy: i bet she -- >> fricking can. >> jimmy: i bet she can. that's right.make a snake. when we come back, emily blunt is here. we'll see a scene from "a quiet place part 2." after this. we'll be right back. during these uncertain times we want you to get the great service you expect without leaving the safety of your home. sprint.com makes shopping easier by offering free next day shipping and no activation fees on our best new phone deals, like the amazing iphone 11 for just $15 a month when you switch. for now sprint.com is the best way to learn about our plans, buy new phones and get the services you need. stay healthy and go to sprint.com today. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com this is gonna be america's favorite breakfast. they just don't know it yet. (ding) these are a few of my favorite things. you order a breakfast sandwich and that's when wendy's makes it. not weeks... or months ago. try your new favorite. order by 10 and we'll even deliver it. f. r. e. e. free. free free. that's right, turbotax free is free. free, free free free

>> jimmy: right?>> jimmy: a lot of things are happening. in fact, a lot of companies have sent home nonessential employees. so if you're home right now, i'm glad you are safe and sorry that you're considered nonessential [ laughter ] "sorry i guess i'm not essential. is that cool?" >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: and finally, i read about a company that started selling packs of 20 pre-made jell-o shots americans heard and were like, "forget purell just give us that. hey! [ rim shot ] that's it. that is tonight's monologue, everyone, right there. [ light laughter ] i don't know why were saving - >> steve: come on, yeah. >> jimmy: maybe i'll put it on an inspiration board or something. hey, guys, the players championship on the pga tour started today. this is -- i'm so happy we did this and even though there won't be any spectators this year, it still looks like it's gonna be a great tournament we wanted to do something really fun with the pros so we gave them a bunch of weird phrases and asked them to sne

and i'm like, jimmy, jimmy it's go time. >> jimmy: i go like this. >> he gives me a hug, and he says,hey, this is stupid, whatever. so we talked about snl and some other stuff for a while. super cool dude, fan before, still a fan. i just felt bad. i was a little thorn in his side for all that time. but we're all good now. it was fun. >> jimmy: if only our leaders in washington. >> yes, why can't our -- >> jimmy: nations of the middle east, if they could just come together the way you and eddie murphy did, what a beautiful planet this would be. >> we'd fix everything in one dinner. >> jimmy: it is always a treat to have you on the show. your show is very funny "lights out with david spade", week nights, 11:35 on comedy central, next week, with no laughs! we'll be right back! tv sports announcer: five seconds left. oh ho! yeah, that's my man there. tv sports announcer: time out. let's go to a commercial. nooooooo! not another commercial! when you bundle your home, auto and life insurance with allstate you could save 25%. in fact, the more you bundle the more you can save. put the other

that's so nice of you. >> you are ageless jimmy >> jimmy: "good for you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: "good foruld say like, "good for you? >> oh, that true "good for you. >> jimmy: "good for you. >> yeah. "good for you. >> jimmy: it's almost like a, "good for you. >> yeah, it's not that snarky. >> jimmy: it's not cause that would be a bad interview podcast. if you were like --- >> oh, "good -- good for you." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "good for you. "good for you. yeah, you just got a new house yeah, good for you >> no, that's what i think whenever someone tells me anything >> jimmy: you can't say that >> but i try to say, "good for you. no [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god >> i's "good for you," like this is good for you >> jimmy: okay, good >> yeah, you should listen to this there's good stuff in here >> jimmy: see? the podcast is "good for you." >> yeah, not "good for you," but -- >> jimmy: oh, it's -- all right. >> it's a rorschach test, basically. >> jimmy: i'm gonna do your show, and then you can do, "good for you. >> "good for you." >> jimmy: do you like to be interviewed or do you like int

♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching.hanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. thank you for joining us on the day after the oscars. the academy awards were handed out just across the street from us at the dolby theater last night. janelle monae opened the show with a version of the mr. rogers song "it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood" which was a nice idea, clever idea, but as those of you who lined up on hollywood boulevard know, there has never been a beautiful anything in this neighborhood. [ laughter ] this neighborhood, this is where homeless spidermen gather to steal wallets from canadians. that's what we do here. [ laughter ] a lot of the focus going into the show last night was on the lack of diversity. all the acting nominees but one were caucasian. and what do you do when you have a diversity problem? well, you hit them with the world's most famous white rapper, eminem. that's what you do. [ laughter ] i actually learned a lot last night. for instance, that song from "frozen 2," equally annoying

>> jimmy: wow! wow!s jin. [ countdown >> go! >> woo woo woo woo woo >> get him >> woo woo woo [ laughter ] [ bell ringing ] >> oh! ♪ >> announcer: jin wins rm versus v. ♪ [ countdown >> go! ♪ la, l la, la, la ♪ [ rubber duck squeaking [ bell ringing ] [ bts oohs ] >> announcer: v wins ♪ round two, dance your shades and gloves off the first player to fling off their shades and gloves by furiously dancing wins the round. jimmy versus jungkook. ♪ >> woo ♪ >> go, go, go! ♪ >> let's go. let's go >> go! ♪ [ bts ohs [ bell ringing ] >> jimmy: come on! come on! >> winner! >> announcer: jungkook wins. jin versus v ♪ >> one, two, three >> let's go. >> let's go. ♪ [ bts oohs ] [ bell ringing ] [ bts ohs ♪ >> announcer: jin wins ♪ final round, post-it challenge get as many post-its on your body as you can in 15 seconds. ♪ jin versus jungkook. ♪ [ countdown >> go, go! >> oh! [ speaking in foreign language ] >> go, go, go, go! go, go, go, go [ speaking in foreign language ] >> go, go, go! [ bell ringing ] >> thank you

♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: come on! >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: who is cooler?boys i cannot wait. you can see the full trailer right now on the apple tv app. i cannot wait to see those guys so thank you so much for letting us watch that show, everybody. [ cheers and applause guys, there's a lot of information floating around out there about the coronavirus and it's leading to a lot of misinformation so we thought we'd try and clear some things up for you it's time for coronavirus facts versus fiction [ cheers and applause ♪ facts facts over fiction ♪ >> jimmy: let's get started. first up we have fact. to stay clean use hand sanitizer that's at least 60% alcohol. fiction, to stay calm make cocktails that are at least 60% alcohol. [ laughter and applause see what i'm saying? >> steve: that's fiction >> jimmy: next up we have fact, you should avoid crowds. fiction, radio shack and sears are now considered international safe zones [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. [ applause ] not true not true here's another one fact, the most similar illness to the coronavirus is the 19

not good luck >> jimmy: what >> not good luck >> jimmy: thank you, not good luck thank you.s i'm the reales drop this and let th whole world feel it ♪ ♪ and i'm still i the murda biznes i can hold you down like i'm givin' lessons in physics ♪ ♪ you should want a bad bitch like this drop it low and pick it up just like this ♪ ♪ cup of ace cup of goose cup of cris high heels somethin' worth a half a ticket on my wrist ♪ ♪ takin' all the liquor straight never chase tha rooftop like w bringin' '88 back ♪ ♪ bring the hooks i where the bass a champagne spillin' you should taste that ♪ ♪ i'm so fanc you already know i'm in the fast lane from l.a. to tokyo ♪ ♪ i'm so fanc can't you taste this gol remember my name bout to blow ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: got the jitters out. just got the jitters out right there. >> that was pretty damn good >> jimmy: just getting the jitters out right there. all right, emma, let's hear your first song. >> all right i'm impressed jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you. >> i'm impressed my first song is "hook" by blues traveler [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ be

>> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: and then you flew back just -- >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy there people on the plane? >> guillermo: like 20 people. >> jimmy: only 20 people on the plane? >> guillermo: yeah. they were wearing masks, gloves. >> jimmy: was it a big plane is it. >> guillermo: is it was a big plane for just 28 people. it was very sad. >> jimmy: did you wear a mask, or did your mustache protect you? >> guillermo: my mustache protect me. >> jimmy: we may have to put you in quarantine for a week. but the new bachelorette is a familiar face. her name is clare crawley. she was on juan pablo's season. this will be her fifth time. she was on "the bachelor," bachelor winter games, and bachelor in paradise two times. she's like a stlie stallone character. just when she thought she was out of it they put pull her in for one last job. tonight was the women tell all special, which was really more of a women yell all special. >> you called me a stupid [ bleep ]. >> i didn't call you stupid. >> what did you say? >> i think i called you a dramatic [ bleep ] bitch. >> okay. >>

. >> jimmy: she was my favorite. >> mine, too. >> jimmy: really?hink she liked pepperoni. >> jimmy: well, who doesn't? did you have that, you know, it's funny, because especially in the '70s, you'd see these movies, and the pizza delivery guy seemed to be very popular with the ladies, but i never experienced that. >> what kind of movies are you talking about? >> jimmy: i never had that, and i always would hope that the door would open and -- did you ever have anything like that? >> no. no. i did deliver to one place where it was clear that everyone was like high on cocaine and they were no longer interested in the pizza. like, oh, did someone order a pizza? >> jimmy: did you have any tricks or ways to steal from the place or anything like that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i did too. i'd hold the pizza up to the heater in the car, so when they got it, because i always got lost, they'd think it was still hot. >> i would do this as a starving young actor. i would, it would be like 11:00, and i'd call in a pizza. i'm going to come pick it up, and 11:30 would co

one play. >> jimmy: one play. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow.w i was right about him the whole time. by the way, another fellow st mark here last week, and he seems to think when it comes to tom brady's favorite like actor pal, that he is number one on the list. >> does he think that? >> jimmy: he did say that. >> i've never felt competitive with mark before but -- so that's interesting. i don't know. maybe he is. i don't want to step on any toes. i met tom -- not to brag -- the year that, you know, he replaced drew bledsoe. this is when i thought things like this were fun. the white house correspondents' dinner. i went to a party and saw him. they had just won the super bowl, and of course he was 22 and i was 27 or something. so i was like older than him. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i was like, oh, my god, man. like so great. dude, you're like the king of boston. he goes, no, way. you're the king of boston. he thinks i'm the king of boston. >> jimmy: you were smitten with him immediately. >> i realized then that i loved the man. [ applause ] >> jimm

. >> jimmy: oh, wow. that's the ultimate crime. >> exactly. >> jimmy: so you didn't even make it out the window, huh? >> you know, the story is a bit hazy for sure. >> jimmy: yes. >> but i've been told the uber driver was really nice. >> jimmy: oh, he was? >> he had a stache of throw-up baggies in his car, so he obviously gets this a lot. >> jimmy: did you get the bag in. >> i got the bag, but it was a lot, is so i was in the bag. and then i -- >> jimmy: oh, no. >> but then it was like, i was like maybe i can just out the window, we kept telling him i ate bad fish. >> jimmy: bad fish. >> sorry, sorry, bad fish. he totally knows. i have glitter, i'm probably wearing a 21st birthday, like, hat, you know. but tried to do it out the window. he was super nice. >> jimmy: that's great. i hope he got a good tip. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: your tip to him was get the olive juice on the side. >> yeah, yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how is your sister? your sister dakota. >> yes. >> jimmy: are you guys living together o

jimmy. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: tom football in here. >> jimmy: what?illermo: he can break the lights. it's too dangerous. he can kill somebody. >> jimmy: you know, you're actually right. you could break a light and kill somebody. well, maybe we should do it outside? >> guillermo: yeah, let's go outside. >> jimmy: excuse us for a second. we'll try it outside. >> guillermo, you know what you're doing? >> guillermo: yeah, i know what i'm doing. follow me. >> thanks, guys. >> jimmy: wow. huh. let's see. oh. do you think you could knock one of these columns down with a football? >> absolutely, yeah. >> jimmy: great. do it. >> guillermo: no, no, jimmy. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: tom cannot knock down this column down. >> jimmy: why? >> guillermo: because the whole building can fall and it can kill a lot of people. >> jimmy: oh. right. you could knock the whole building down. gosh. all right. well, let's see. oh, i have an idea. followme, ys >>uier: uillanksgo. can you take us to 223 liberace lane? thanks. >> so where are we going? >> jimmy: you'll see. ye

, what >> jimmy: poo poo, what?o la la >> jimmy: i didn't even know - i have no idea what a poo poo la la is >> steve: no not specifically >> jimmy: i have an idea >> steve: i have a general idea [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: depends on it's where the poo poo happens or the la la happens [ laughter and applause one or the other >> jimmy: i don't know all right. i don't -- yeah, i don't know >> steve family-friendly show >> steve: yeah, we're a family show we just want to know knowledge >> jimmy: all right. that's all [ laughter ] let's move on to something a a little more family friendly. this is a group called the kelly family >> steve: hey. >> jimmy: there they are there one big happy family with their lead singer moses, apparently. [ laughter ] well, let's -- >> steve: that's a lot of kelly. >> jimmy: let's listen to -- ah let's -- oh. let's take a listen to "ain't gonna pee pee my bed tonight." >> steve: okay [ laughter ] >> quest: what ♪ ain't gonna pee pee me bed tonight ain't gonna pee pe my bed tonig

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. i'm jimmy. i am the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. please relax. happy day after daylight saving day. how are you holding up for that? everyone all right? yesterday morning was our annual reminder that we aren't as smart as our microwave ovens. [ laughter ] guillermo had a big week. and congratulations to you, guillermo. >> guillermo: oh, thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're welcome. now, this is from a horse race in tampa bay on saturday. and it would seem that we have a winner in our midst. >> king guillermo now going to the lead. inside the final furlong, do you believe this? king guillermo. he doesn't just win! he wins impressively. >> look, i'm a jockey! >> jimmy: i had no idea you were racing. what's your horse's name, guillermo? >> pepe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pepe. it's also his dog's name coincidentally. the coronavirus -- this coronavirus is all i hear about from -- whoo? [ laughter ] people are selling off stocks and buying up toilet paper. and if you are buying up toilet paper, i have

>> jimmy: come on!hat. >> i work hard i love muscles i love feeling strong. that's my baby arm, though, too. >> jimmy: that's not even the big arm? >> no, no. no, no, no sorry. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh >> i carry the baby on that side of my body. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, sorry, sorry i thought you had a baby arm i thought you had a baby arm and big arm. [ laughter ] >> no, that's why they're on - >> jimmy: 'cause i do. i have a baby arm. >> i only work one side. >> jimmy: this one's weaker than this one, but this one -- 'cause i play a lot of like, golden tee and stuff and i bowl with this one and stuff. so, this is my baby arm. >> all moms out there know, though you have one arm that's stronger than the other, 'cause you carry your -- >> jimmy: of course. >> -- kid on that side >> jimmy: yeah, and that's the stronger one >> yep >> jimmy: yeah, i think i'm kind of -- >> we only photographed from this side. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: there's also a thing called the fit52 app >> yeah. >> jimmy:

>> jimmy: 170,000?ou listen to all of them >> questlove: not even 10% >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah [ laughter ] what album do you recommend i get if i don't -- maybe i have already. >> okay, do you know boney m.? >> jimmy: no boney m. >> yeah. >> jimmy: no >> boney m., "nightflight to venus. it's one of my -- it will trip you out, for sure. >> jimmy: yep. [ laughter ] i don't mind a little trip out >> yeah. >> jimmy: boney m. "nightflight - >> -- to venus." i would recommend, you know, maybe a glass of wine and to listen to it at nighttime. >> jimmy: really >> yeah. [ light laughter ] it feels like you are about to get on to a spaceship and fly to space [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i love that. >> like, literally yeah, yeah.e >> jimmy: quest, do you know boney m. >> questlove: yeah, they're the sample for barbra streisand. ♪ >> yeah, exactly yes. ♪ >> have you heard this [ beat boxing you know it? >> questlove: yes. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what but you get to be musical in this movie >> yeah, bro

>> jimmy: "it was legendary. >> steve: "yeah, man." >> jimmy: "it'll be legendary.er ] next poll asks, "what is a good retirement activity? 58% said volunteering. 40% said dog walking joe biden and bernie sanders said the presidency. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh [ cheers and applause wow! [ vocalizing ] >> jimmy: just listen, for a a second ♪ ♪ i'm your summer girl ♪ ♪ i'm your -- >> jimmy: stop, stop just no. [ laughter ] he just bails halfway through. [ cymbal crash ] >> steve: now he's messing with you. >> jimmy: he bailed. he played a different song half way through, yeah >> steve: do you think it goes - [ vocalizing ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, it goes like -- but it's close i thought it did, but now i changed the way -- i think it goes - >> steve: you heard it again [ vocalizing ] it goes up, not down [ vocalizing ] [ light laughter ] [ vocalizing ] >> jimmy: or - [ vocalizing ] >> steve: yeah, because you were doing - [ vocalizing ] it's not that. >> jimmy: ian, just give me what you think what i can't -- come on ♪ [ cheers and applause >> steve: no [ cymb

jimmy: i would love to come on the show. >> okay. >> jimmy: done booked >> okay, all right >> jimmy:n. >> so i'm booking -- i'm booking jimmy fallon on my yet to be named podcast. >> jimmy: yeah i've got to say, i've watched this docuseries on hulu of you it is fantastic. >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: i loved it so much >> thank you [ applause ] >> jimmy: it is so well done the director, nanette burstein - >> burstein. >> jimmy: nanette burstein, fantastic job. >> she did an amazing job. i mean, because it was all her i was interviewed for 35 hours but -- >> she was the one who pieced it all together. you know, it originally had started off as a look at the 2016 campaign 'cause we had about 2,000 hours of footage and people came to me again and said, "hey, why don't we use it?" so that's what we thought we were agreeing to and then, she looked at all of the footage and came back and said, "you know, there's a a bigger story here. and it's a story not only of your life, but really, the women's movement, women's lives. it's a story of our politics how did we end up being so partisan so she

on, jimmy.n, man i mean - >> jimmy: here's what i started doing. i started playing the game backwards. so, like, "candyland" starts at the end. and you've got to make it all the way to the beginning "chutes and ladders," i'm playing "ladders and chutes. so, now the chutes are fun now you want to get on a slide 'cause you want to make your way -- i mean, we're running out of ideas >> and i am prediabetic, so, i want to go backwards on "candyland." [ laughter ] go back. now, who is the person you have spoken to in this talbot here who you think is the most, like, at their wits end and they're cracking up. who is going over the deep end >> jimmy: oh, gosh, you mean besides me i mean, everyone is kind of been i mean, i'm talking to tina tomorrow so we'll see what she's doing. she's going to be -- >> i can't imagine >> jimmy: yeah, she's going to be -- she told me she's doing a lot of zooming with amy's kids and maya's kids and dracha's kids and they're doing, like, improv and stuff. so i want to tal

>> jimmy: well - >> steve: great, let's move on [ laughter ] first clue goes to jimmy and kevin. >> jimmy. >> oh, no. [ light laughter ] yes, dear? [ laughter ] come on, use your words. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: scampi >> um -- crustacean [ laughter ] [ fog horn ] >> steve: oh, oh oh, the old overthought. [ laughter ] kevin, kevin, it's your turn >> holy -- >> steve: i don't know if tariq is gonna get this. >> okay, let's see >> oh my god, now i know the answer [ laughter ] >> boiled? >> tariq: shrimp ♪ [ bell dinging ] [ cheers and applause >> steve: oh my, oh my five-zero. >> jimmy: are you -- [ talking over each other crustacean scampi? >> a crustacean is a shrimp. >> jimmy: i know >> a curstacean -- >> steve: classic over thinking >> i thought we were doing smart -- i thought we were doing smart answers. >> tariq: i was a little bit worried. >> jimmy: crustacean scampi? >> it just sounded too easy. it sounded too - >> steve: that's american tv all right, next clue goes to tan and tariq. >> jimmy: come on, we got this, tan. >> the password is - >> steve: okay, tariq, you are up first >> t

. >> jimmy: no [ applause ] >> steve: i think it's wrong >> jimmy: oh, listen to this i saw that trump just asked congress for $2.5 billion to fight the coronavirus. and this is nice, he even showed everyone how that money will be spent. take a look. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "don't worry, the chance of me getting it is very, very small." [ laughter ] some business news, i saw that burger king just came out with a new french fry sandwich. take a look a this thing yeah >> steve: oh [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and this is cool if you ask for the low carb version, the cashier just squeezes mayo directly into your hand. >> steve: oh [ laughter ] >> jimmy: listen to this, a new report found that more and more people over 65 are smoking weed so for the first time it's a a fun thing when seniors have stiff joints [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ♪ finally i read that abc is working on a new version of "the bachelor" for the elderly [ light laughter ] i'm not sure it's necessary. there's already a place where old people can meet. it's called the democratic debates. we have a great show give it up

and i'm like, jimmy, jimmy t's go time. >> jimmy: i go like this. >> he gives me a hug, and he says,whatever. so we talked about snl and some other stuff for a while. super cool dude, fan before, still a fan. i just felt bad. i was a little thorn in his side for all that time. but we're all good now. it was fun. >> jimmy: if only our leaders in washington. >> yes, why can't our -- >> jimmy: nations of the middle east, if they could just come together the way you and eddie murphy did, what a beautiful planet this would be. >> we'd fix everything in one dinner. >> jimmy: it is always a treat to have you on the show. your show is very funny "lights out with david spade", week nights, 11:35 on comedy central, next week, with no laughs! we'll be right back! in america we all count. no matter where we call home, how we worship, or who we love. and the 2020 census is how that great promise is kept. because this is the count that informs where hundreds of billions in funding will go each year for things like education, healthcare, and programs that touch us all. shape your future. start here

jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hi, oefrn everyone. welcome, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. that's very nice. you are joining us tonight for the after the after the final rose special. tonight, if you don't know, it was the second and final part of a two-part bachelor season finale. it hearkens back to a simpler time when watching people pass viruses to one another was fun. what we do know is that last night, madison, the virgin who decided it was a good idea to go on this show, sent herself home. she eliminated herself, which made it easier for peter to decide who to propose to, hannah ann. it seemed to surprise chris harrison. >> i hate to darken the mood at all. there's something i just found out about hannah ann. to be honest, i'm not positive she's coming. >> what? >> jimmy: just kidding. she's coming. she came. not only did hannah ann show up, she showed up in a formal dress with a formal address. >> hi, chris harrison. >> jimmy: so as not to confuse him with the other chrises wearing suits in the australian outback. his ot

my daughter carlotta, jimmy. >> hello >> jimmy: hi, buddy. have a lot of -- and you start cooking. can you smell it in your house >> jimmy: yes, i'm smelling it already through this >> you can add some chickpeas because cans are good -- >> jimmy: yes. >> when you're at home for long periods. >> jimmy: i have a lot of chickpeas at my house. >> some corn why? because canned vegetables are good >> jimmy: they are >> i'm french, but if you don't have -- canned vegetables are excellent. actually, they need love they feel sometimes like we're ashaming them. [ laughter ] vegetables in a can, they have feelings too >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> look at how beautiful they are. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, you guys. >> look at this great -- >> jimmy: you guys, you can get your dad out of there. >> they have feelings. the poor chickpea. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> they always say, "why people think like we're not good people?" >> jimmy: how do you live with this guy how do you live with this guy in your house >> i don't know. >> i don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy:

and now with all due respect jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone.'m jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's very nice. you know, the clock is ticking right now. we're like 24 minutes away from valentine's day. tomorrow night, couples of all ages, types and sizes will go out of town, get rushed through dinner at a restaurant and then on to the most popular sexual position of all -- obligatory. [ laughter ] if you're smart, you'll do what i do on valentine's. you don't have to make a big deal out of it, you don't have to spend a lot of money. just hand your wife a single rose and say "this means you get to stay." [ laughter ] but i thought you loved "the bachelor"! this is something i learned today. you know those little candy hearts that have the messages on them that taste like a mix between rubber and chalk? originally, they were called wedding candies. now we call them sweethearts. but they were invented in the mid 1800s by a man named daniel chase who invented a machine that stamped words onto candy. bu

>> jimmy: no, no.ys one weird house. >> jimmy: at least one weird house. >> and if there isn't one on your street, then you're the house. >> jimmy: you're probably right. that's a good way of looking at it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that was definitely, i wonder if it's what we're experiencing right now that makes us long for those days. >> yeah. >> jimmy: or if they really were better. i feel like they were better. >> i feel like people wore jeans out more to event. >> jimmy: it's all about dress code, really. >> it is. >> jimmy: what kind of kid were you? what kind of teenager were you? >> i wasn't, i wish i could say i was cool and rebellious. i was not. /was kind of, i had a nice group of friends. and we, you know, we stuck to the rules. but we did like drink in the woods. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, stuff like that. but i was, i was petulant. i was a petulant kid. and i remember, there was a rule in my house that my dad would, i'd go to the mall all the time. that's what i did. >> jimmy: mm-hm. >> and m

that would change. >> jimmy who? >> jimmy carter. >> jimmy who? >> i don't know who he is. >> he looks to me like he's all right. >> he is the people's man. >> he is sexy. >> what do you mean by that? >> i have never thought of jimmy carter as sexy. i think people would say more that gerald ford was sexy because he was a football player. carter sexy? >> i think he has a nice smile. [laughter] >> he has bushy hair flying all around. >> i heard he is a peanut farmer. >> i don't think it makes any difference if he is a peanut farmer or not. there is nothing wrong with peanuts. >> i picture him like one of us. one of the working people. the common people. >> it gives me a great deal of pleasure to present to you the next president of the united states, jimmy carter. [applause] mr. carter: sometimes introductions are hard to follow. i remember when i was running for governor, a young man who introduced me had done a great deal of work in my background. he said we have with us tonight senator jimmy carter from plains, georgia. he went to georgia souther

♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host.hank you for watching, thank you for coming. thank you for joining us on what is a day of reflection for catholics. if you see someone's with ashes on it, either they're catholic or they put out a cigarette on their forehead. have you given anything up for lent? >> guillermo: weed, jimmy. >> jimmy: wheat? did you say wheat? >> guillermo: no, i said smoking weed. >> jimmy: i didn't even know you did that. if you're looking for something to give up for the next 40 days. pope francis has an idea. he's encouraged us to stop insulting people online. it's a time to give up useless words, gossip, rumors, tittle-tattle. i'm with him on all but the tittle-tattle. please, stop mean tweeting the pope. i wonder what prompted the pope to pick up this particular subject, i wonder if he was on twitter and read that just learned that pope francis was a virgin? send him a direct message if you must. i hope the pope didn't watch the debate last night. because the democrats engaged in a good deal of titt

>> jimmy: wow.like -- i went in the other room and my daughter dressed up my little daughter like that. with a wig on. she was walking around like that >> jimmy: she looks like annie >> honestly so fun getting to be with all the kids. they love it they think it's the best thing ever >> jimmy: my kids are having fun too. i ordered takeout from a local place trying to, you know, keep the local restaurants in business and i got this package last night it was my food but it came with a roll of toilet paper in the bag. >> that's nice >> jimmy: clever, right? >> so generous >> jimmy: thank you, que pasa. do you mind hanging out a couple more minutes i want to talk to you about your documentary? >> for sure. >> okay. cool more with kim kardashian when we come back, "to nenight show" hoe edition. 60% of women wear the wrong u 'y fit try the next size up and get up to 20% better coverage - day or night because better coverage means better protection always. and here we have another burst pipe in denmark. if

>> daddy >> jimmy: yeah >> are you ready >> jimmy: yeah >> say hit it. >> jimmy: hit it >> are you okthis is "late night. how is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news president trump claimed on saturday that he had scheduled and then canceled a meeting with the taliban at camp david to discuss a peace agreement. and if you're wondering where we are as a nation, my first thought was, i don't know, i'll believe it when i hear it from the taliban. [ laughter ] the "washington post" has published a new article calling former vice president joe biden and senator elizabeth warren frenemies. even crazier, they referred to john delaney and michael bennett as candidates. [ laughter ]

and no more jimmy carter! >> but instead of a knockout punch, the boxing match is going to continue to go on and on and on. >> carter has suffered a bruising blow at the hands of his rival. and, still, america is relying on its commander in chief to bring the hostages home. >> there is a decision that's made to try a military operation. it's called operation eagle claw. the mission would take a rescue team into iran. where they would pick up the hostages and take them out to safety. >> the rescue was a courageous thing for carter to do. but everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. at kay, we've learned the most important one will always be your own. every yes. oh my gosh, yes. begins with kay. ♪ and i like to question your i'm yoevery move.n law. like this left turn. it's the next one. you always drive this slow? how did you make someone i love? that must be why you're always so late. i do not speed. and that's saving me cash with drivewise. my son, he did say that you were the safe option. and that's the

and now with all due respect jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone.'m jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's very nice. you know, the clock is ticking right now. we're like 24 minutes away from valentine's day. tomorrow night, couples of all ages, types and sizes will go out of town, get rushed through dinner at a restaurant and then on to the most popular sexual

and now, keep low, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. i'm jimmy.please relax. happy day after daylight saving day. how are you holding up for that? everyone all right? yesterday morning was our annual reminder that we aren't as smart as our microwave ovens. [ laughter ] guillermo had a big week. and congratulations to you, guillermo. >> guillermo: oh, thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're welcome. now, this is from a horse race in tampa bay on saturday. and it would seem that we have a winner in our midst. >> king guillermo now going to the lead. inside the final furlong, do you believe this? king guillermo. he doesn't just win! he wins impressively. >> look, i'm a jockey! >> jimmy: i had no idea you were racing. what's your horse's name, guillermo? >> pepe. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pepe. 's

and now, prk up, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host.g. thank you for joining us on what is a day of reflection for catholics. if you see someone's with ashes on it, either they're catholic or they put out a cigarette on their forehead. have you given anything up for lent? >> guillermo: weed, jimmy. >> jimmy: wheat? did you say wheat? >> guillermo: no, i said smoking weed. >> jimmy: i didn't even know you did that. if you're looking for something to give up for the next 40 days. pope francis has an idea. he's encouraged us to stop insulting people online. it's a time to give up useless words, gossip, rumors, tittle-tattle. i'm with him on all but the tittle-tattle. please, stop mean tweeting the

. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, sir patrick stewart. tony hale. this week in unnecessary censorship and music featuring miguel, and now, mayor pete buttigieg! ♪ [cheers and applause] >>> hello. welcome and thank you for being here tonight. my name is pete buttigieg -- and i am running to be the next host of "jimmy kimmel live!" this is a very strange night. not only because this is my first time hosting a talk show -- because we're doing it without a regular audience. due to public health concerns over the coronavirus, we cancelled our studio audience tonight. a few kind kimmel staffers and some friends are here instead, we're going to have a great time. everyone is spread apart at the cdc-represented distance. this was not our plan. we just decided this a few hours ago. and it's disappointing, because as you all know, i love to crowd surf. it's kinda my thing. but the experts have told us the best way to prevent the spread of the virus is for us to physically stay apart. so that's what we're going to do. the only way we're going to get through th

and now, stay still, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show.or watching, thank you for coming. please, relax, that's very nice. thank you for being a part of our mandatory quarantine. no one's leavin' the room for eight weeks. so get to know each other. i am honored you braved the germs to be with us tonight. the stock market is down and the coronavirus is up. this planet