jimmy to the floor ♪ >> jimmy: whoa what is this >> jimmy, it's time to go back to where it all startedback to the matrix >> jimmy: what is the red pill >> a key that shows you just how deep the rabbit hole goes. >> jimmy: and what is the blue pill >> ivermectin. [ laughter ] horse de-wormer. >> jimmy: hard pass. i gotta go do the show >> what if i told you the show has already started? [ cheers and applause ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests - john cena, j balvin and featuring the legendary roots crew >> questlove: 1511 >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that is a crowd right there. welcome, everybody [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody welcome to "the tonight show." i appreciate it. you guys are here. [ cheers and applause guys, we are coming to you after the first nfl game of the season between the dallas cowboys and the tampa bay buccaneers [ cheers and applause the bucc

>> steve: yeah [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: that's our dude. >> steve: that's my man. >> jimmy: plus the new film "vacation friends" on hulu. meredith hagner is here. [ cheers and applause and we've got a great in-studio performance tonight from baby keem. >> steve: oh [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: it's awesome, by the way. i saw rehearsals, and oh, man, it's great guys, did you ever see a photo in the news and think that headline could be much better? i'll show you what i mean. it's time for "news and improved." here we go [ cheers and applause ♪ news and improved ♪ >> jimmy: for example, check out this first photo the original headline was "biden directs federal aid." the headline could definitely be improved, because if you only looked at the photo, the headline could have been "man drops corn cob right before his first bite." [ laughter and applause chomp. let's check out this next photo. the regional headline was "putin unveils new fighter jet. but if you only looked at the photo, the headline could have been "slow day for the bouncers at coldstone creamery. [ laughter and app

>> i think you're ready, jimmy >> jimmy: all right.oing to head out there, so wish me luck >> good luck, my friend. this is going to be bad. >> jimmy: i'm here at yankee stadium, i'm about to throw out the first pitch of the game, i'm so excited i'm so nervous >> announcer: here to throw out the ceremonial first pitch, please welcome the host of "the tonight show" -- jimmy fallon! and ladies and gentlemen, please welcome his pitching coach, yankees legend and baseball's all-time saves leader, hall of famer number 32, mariano rivera! >> come on, man. >> jimmy: you can. >> i can, bro. >> jimmy: you can. >> yes no, no, no, that's you, brother. >> no, no, from here >> yes, let's go you got this, though come on. you got this you got it ♪ >> there you go! you got it >> jimmy: you helped me. you helped me, buddy you saved it, man. thank you, i appreciate it >> great job great job. >> jimmy: i appreciate it, thank you. ♪ >> oh, my god. oh >> jimmy: thank you, buddy [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ smooth like butter, like a criminal undercover ♪ ♪ go

>> jimmy: sting. >> he's mentioned. >> jimmy: yeah >> he's not in the clip. >> jimmy: oh, no, sorry.ughter ] [ rim shot ] i think -- >> yeah. >> anybody else, you want to be in the clip? [ laughter ] >> hey, springsteen is in it >> jimmy: beyonce's in it. [ talking over each other >> marlon brando >> jimmy: marlon brando's in it he says he's still in it okay, i'm sorry. i'm going to stop now. >> maybe we should just show the clip >> jimmy: all right, yeah. >> let it speak for itself >> jimmy: it's your show [ laughter ] let's take a look at "only murders in the building. take a look. >> the title of their podcast is "dimas chicken wraps presents, colon, only murders in the building. [ laughter ] >> i do love dimas chicken wraps. >> teddy, do you understand how huge fallon is in greece [ laughter ] do you know what my cousins back on nisyros are going to do when they see this they're going to [ bleep ] themselves, oli! they're going to squat right down on their goat fields and [ bleep ] themselves in envy [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: that's fantastic >> there's no one

and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much.hank you, thank you. welcome. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for that arsenio barking. i appreciate it. thanks for staying up late after the football -- on a rare and welcome monday night of football here on abc. the raiders hosted the baltimore ravens in las vegas. stadiums are back to full capacity, whether they should be or not. fans this weekend packed the stands. even tailgate parties are back. people gathered around to eat and drink in the parking lot, which is how we found guillermo, by the way, is eating and drinking in the parking lot. it was like a tailgate party without the game. some stadiums had special safety guidelines this weekend. some required proof of vaccination. some made you show a negative covid test. and some had no rules at all. in jacksonville if you have covid, hot dogs are half price. that's how they do it. [ laughter ] i had an eventful weekend. i don't know if i told you this, but i got a shout out from

beret. >> jimmy: a beret. >> steve: a little mustache. >> jimmy: drawn on >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: drawncigarette. >> jimmy: cigatette. >> steve: and a beret -- i mean a baguette out of your back pocket >> jimmy: yes, and a beret in the other pocket >> steve: in case this one fell off. >> jimmy: as a gift. >> steve: acting >> jimmy: you saw that in the acting >> steve: yeah, i saw that just from the movement. i could tell oh, my gosh. wait, are you wearing a beret or not you put it out in a cup of espresso >> jimmy: correct. >> steve: oh, my gosh, he's got some butter -- jam, ham, nutella? what is it peanut butter, you're french oh, you're spreading something it's french bread. french fries mayonnaise cheese cheese >> jimmy: close. guys, guys stop >> steve: you're a frenchman, you're spreading - >> jimmy: dijon. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: i feel like a fool i feel like a fool you're prepping the sandwich >> jimmy: i was correcting the sandwich >> steve: yeah, you were just getting ready to eat i thought you were creating a sandwich >> jimmy: i was just correcting the sandwich >>

jimmy: day!and applause i don't know i don't know i don't know how it happened >> steve: wow! how'd you do it. >> jimmy: i don't know how it - i don't know how it happened [ laughter ] hey, i read that the owner of a circus in ireland is struggling to hire clowns because apparently they all left the country during the pandemic [ laughter ] you can tell the clowns were irish, because they just left without telling anyone [ laughter ] [ applause ] and finally, this is going viral. someone caught a video of a florida man calmly dealing with a pretty stressful situation. watch this [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: yeah in florida, that's actually how you become governor. [ cheers and applause we have a great show, give it up for the roots, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: what a show we have for you tonight. he just kicked off his new "papi juancho" tour. you can get tickets at maluma.online. maluma is here maluma is in the building! [ cheers and applause

>> jimmy: here is antoine.his is wild >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, this is crazy that you guys even pulled this off. >> it was so amazing i mean, we know each other well we're really good friends. so we were able to trust each other from afar, you know. but i've never made anything where i haven't been able to do be in physical proximity -- i mean, all the actors were all over the world basically the movie is calls coming in. so, all the actors were calling in, but they were all on zoom. in australia and new york, los angeles, and it was just -- our director in a van. down the block >> jimmy: what was he like was he freaking out like, "i have never directed from a van what do i do?" >> he's a champ. he's a champ >> jimmy: yeah, he's brilliant >> you look forward to those kind of things at a certain point -- that pressure and that tension. i mean, it was hard that he did it, but -- >> jimmy: i mean, you would have no clue watching the movie. it's fantastic it's like this is -- i mean, edge of your seat. i'm, like,

right now on jimmy chemical >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- shaquille o'neal -- and music from maisie peters. and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching the show on a big night. there's not much to get excited about here in the united states, but tonight is the first night of football. a new nfl season is under way. [ cheers ] or as tom brady calls it, "the purge." [ laughter ] tonight, the reigning champion tampa bay buccaneers hosted america's team, the cowboys of dallas. guillermo's team. >> guillermo: that's right. >> jimmy: cleto's team as well. >> cleto: yes, sir. >> jimmy: i don't know what happened. in the '70s, at that age you root for the cowboys or steelers, there wasn't really a choice. you root for the cowboys. >> guillermo: that's right, hopefully we'll win tonight, go dallas! >> jimmy: i'm excited, i'm just glad i have a reason to wear my beer helmet on sundays again. [ laughter ] i was

i know it's jimmy. "i know it's jimmy, but you can't be on tv." >> jimmy: that's so funny.bably want to hug you as well. but, like, i -- i go, "i should stop." [ laughter ] but, i was so happy. and, just, thank you for doing -- broadway is back! >> oh, man >> jimmy: i mean, this is a big deal [ cheers and applause >> you don't know what a gift you are to all of those people who sang for you just now, who have been dying for an audience [ audience aws ] we're all like tinker bell in the play "peter pan. we need applause to live [ laughter ] and -- and -- and that was -- you know, it was really fun when i got the sketch, but it was so emotional to sing for an audience again and i'm so grateful to you thank you so much. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: yes. it was wild. how does it -- how does it feel -- how does it feel to actually say broadway is back? >> i -- i -- i -- it's -- it's really exciting. and -- and again, like, this all depends, right like, it depends on us being safe, and it depends on us getting vaccinated, it depends on people feeling safe at work >> jimmy: yea

>> jimmy: thank you.ped me out you guys are good. they kind of helped me with that i love that, yeah. i don't know -- it's tough to lie to you you know, i'm a big fan. all right, guys. this one i'm hearing two. [ audience yelling ] ♪ [ laughter ] in my box was something very sweet. it is -- little dolls, with olympic medals made out of frosted mini wheats. which may be american thing. >> is it specifically a wheat? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, i could try it after this. i don't have an allergy, but i do know a frosted mini wheat when i see it. >> you do? i of course don't. >> jimmy: yes. a weetabix >> oh, got it. okay >> jimmy: but american version, and frosted on one side. >> i see and then, you say gold metals, you say. >> jimmy: no, all three. representing all three >> oh, really? >> jimmy: first, second and third. >> okay. and do they have different facial expressions or all the same >> jimmy: they bearly faces. [ laughter ] they look like they should be something, but they're made out of wheat [ la

, jimmy.ing different kinds of storytellers and it's really exciting that it's just the beginning. you know it's a great time for women to be creating and to be writing their stories in their own words, and i am just so happy to put a spotlight on some other female creators. >> jimmy: it's so good and it's just quality stuff, too. everything you do is quality so i -- i do want to say congratulations and well-deserved. >> i try not to put crap out there. >> jimmy: yeah, you really don't. >> but, you know, they're not -- i mean, everything can't be perfect, but we try. >> jimmy: no are you -- speaking of some of the great stuff you have done, it's the 20th anniversary, if you can believe it, of "legally blonde." [ cheers and applause >> i know. >> jimmy: is that wild 20 -- what -- what -- i mean, it's become such a thing now it's a part of pop culture but, anything game changing when people bring up "legally blonde" to you >> oh, you know, i probably get stopped once a week and asked to do the b

>> jimmy: prepandemic. >> yeah, 10, 15 times? >> jimmy: really?. >> jimmy: wow. >> i'm a connoisseur. >> jimmy: you have, like, a monthly outing? >> yeah it probably averages out about that, yeah. >> jimmy: is it like norm, at "cheers," you walk in, "yeah, gabrielle!" they have a plaque or something? >> there's a famous club in atlanta, magic city -- [ cheers ] >> yeah, you know it, you know it. >> jimmy: they just had a baby. >> you need a little magic. when i walk in, they're like, "gab union!" but yeah, it's like a welcome -- a welcoming place. >> jimmy: it's a welcoming place. >> the ladies are very welcoming. but they're all different. >> jimmy: how much is the most you've ever dropped in an evening at one of those places? >> oh, my business manager is like -- i don't know, probably -- 10, 20 -- thousand? >> jimmy: $10,000 or $20,000? >> yeah you don't really think about it because -- the booze. [ laughter ] you want to make sure all the ladies go home with a little something. >> jimmy: $10,000 or $20,000? [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >>

>> jimmy: yeah >> get in the tub -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah >> -- like it's water?s. [ cheers ] i knew it going into production i was like, "oh, this is gonna be --" you, keegan-michael key. >> i love it so much >> jimmy: dude, the production on this thing is insanity. >> yes, yeah >> jimmy: can you set it up in a couple lines or what it's about? >> sure, i think so. i hope so. >> jimmy: yeah >> it's a couple that is kind of at a stale point in their relationship >> jimmy: yep. >> they're doctors and they go on a hike as one does to fix it >> jimmy: yeah >> and they get lost in a town that turns out to be a musical and they can't leave until they find true love, which is strange to hear if you think you're in love >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. i love that. they're stuck in this town - [ cheers and applause >> yeah. >> jimmy: and by the way, some heavy hitters in this, alan cumming, kristin chenoweth. >> yes >> jimmy: she -- how powerful? >> she's unreal. i feel like she made a quotable line out of every line she had >> jimmy: yeah >> she was just like, "o

. >> jimmy: well.show is "tacoma fd." season 3 premieres thursday at 10:00 on trutv. steve and kevin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, gentlemen. we'll be back with the marias! ♪ music playing. ♪ there's an america we build ♪ ♪ and one we explore one that's been paved and one that's forever wild but freedom means you don't have to choose just one adventure ♪ ♪ you get both. introducing the all-new 3-row jeep grand cherokee l jeep. there's only one. tums vs. mozzarella stick jeep grand cherokee l when heartburn hits, fight back fast with tums chewy bites. fast heartburn relief in every bite. cru tums, ts,um, chewy inside. tums chewy bites kinder bueno? woooooow. it's crispy. it's creamy. it's not your average chocolate bar. smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer and creamy hazelnut filling. it's kinder bueno. ♪ [beep] ♪ [shouting and clashing] ♪ [horse neighs] ♪ ♪ ♪ come in for superfoods, leave feeling mighty. what we value most, shouldn't cost more. ♪ ♪ ♪ (vo) command adjustables products ca

or do i call you jimmy >> jimmy >> jimmy: i do >> yeah. >> jimmy: you go by jimmy. >> i go by jimmy think you should go by james." i was like, "i don't know. everyone calls me jimmy. that might be weird and confusing. and she goes, "yeah, but james stewart is what jimmy stewart was billed as. and i said, "all right, well if it's good enough for jimmy stewart, it's good enough for me." >> jimmy: for jimmy stewart, yeah >> and so then became the most confusing ten years of my life because what happened is i'll go onto a set, and they'll go, "so what should we call you? and i said, "well, call me jimmy. but i don't get to everyone at the same time. so, i'm telling certain people jimmy. certain people james >> jimmy: then people think you don't like them. >> people think i'm not a nice person >> jimmy: yeah, they go, "hey, what's this? why can i -- i'm not in the jimmy club." >> yeah, "why does he get to call him jimmy, and i have to call him james?" >> jimmy: yeah, you actually have them start saying your middle name as well. that's really rude i got to assume you get recognized a lot

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for joining us. what turned out to be a very bad day for r. kelly. did you see that? in brooklyn today, r. kelly was found guilty on eight counts of sex trafficking and one count of racketeering. that could mean he will spend the rest of his life behind bars. which is tough. he already spent so much of it trapped in that closet. there were no cameras present, but they released a sketch from the courtroom. that indicates he should also be charged with not properly wearing a mask. kelly will remain in custody until sentencing, which makes sense. if the guy who sang "i believe i can fly" isn't a flight risk, i don't know who is. but it just goes to show you, sometimes a sexual predator is the person you most suspect. maybe they should send r. kelly into space. you hear william shatner's going? next month, 90-year-old william shatner, the original captain kirk, will become the oldest human ever launched into space. he will also be th

jimmy kimmel? honestly, jimmy, [ bleep ] you, bro. [ bleep ] that. >> jimmy: oh, come on now.ad i known you fondly called me "j.k.," i never would have said any of that stuff, i'm story, l.p. [ cheers and applause ] i hope we can be bros again, dude. and i'm sorry about your testicle. i forgot about that. [ laughter ] you know what? to make up for it, i'm gonna give you one of my testicles. [ cheers and applause ] or wait a minute -- i just thought of something -- maybe i'll introduce you to nicki minaj's cousin's friend. [ laughter ] this guy, he's got more testicle than he knows what to do with. everyone is mad now. all the time. a lot of the times they're mad at me. anger is the new default emotion in the united states. we are very eager to pounce. at all times. in fact, we conducted an experiment today. we went out on the street and asked people to weigh in on a bunch of celebrity misdeeds we made up. none of these things actually happened, but that didn't stop folks from being upset about them in a new segment on the show, the first-ever edition of "cancel nation." >> we'

jimmy: it was "no."n for my business, but all my employees need something different. oh, we can help with that. okay, imagine this... your mover, rob, he's on the scene and needs a plan with a mobile hotspot. we cut to downtown, your sales rep lisa has to send some files, like asap! so basically i can pick the right plan for each employee... yeah i should've just led with that... with at&t business, you can pick the best plan for each employee and get the best deals on every smartphone. introducing xfinity rewards. our very own way of thanking you just for being with us. enjoy rewards like movie night specials. xfinity mobile benefits. ...and exclusive experiences, like the chance to win tickets to see watch what happens live. hey! it's me. the longer you've been with us... the more rewards you can get. like sharpening your cooking skills with a top chef. join for free on the xfinity app and watch all the rewards float in. our thanks. your rewards. lemonis: this isn't a business that i am comfortable wri

know jojo, jimmy.us, streaming on this. tell everyone what it's about. >> so "the j team," i like to explain it as if it's me but i'm a completely normal 14-year-old. but i still act the same, dress the same, i am the same, but i'm just normal. i go to my dance studio. my dance studio gets turned over to new management new managment kicks me off the team it's really dramatic so i make my own team. and my own team is made up of gymnasts and soccer players and football players and cheerleaders and, you know, people who don't really fit in. but they -- they can because you -- everybody fits in, in a a way. so, it's all about being yourself letting nobody change you. staying true to who you are and not giving up because somebody tries to make you give up. >> jimmy: there you go that's it. [ cheers and applause i love that message. "the j team. i want to show everyone a clip here is jojo siwa in "the j team." take a look. >> yeah. ♪ i wear my heart on my sleeve won't hide i am who you see ♪ ♪ i wear my hear

jimmy kimmel live is next. the guest is bill marr. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- bill maher. hannah waddingham. and music from carly pearce. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thank you. thanks. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for joining us here in sunny southern california, where gavin newsom is still the governor. [ cheers and applause ] yesterday, he won the recall election. i think. did he win? can you win an election you didn't want to happen? [ laughter ] it's like coming home from work, you say, "good news, honey. the guys at the office dug a hole and pushed me in it, but they decided not to fill it back up with dirt." [ laughter ] you've had that happen, right? we all have. yesterday, gavin newsom didn't not win. he didn't get fired. not even close. he trounced the clown car full of candidates running against him. the cost to our state was about $300 million. which i think i

jimmy: "jimmy, jimmy. >> steve: jam me some "jimmy, jimmy. >> jimmy: here you go. hear it? ♪ jimmy, jimm there's pressure on yo a life ain't feeling how it used to ♪ jimmy jimmy no need to be sa when they play your song we'll get along ♪ ♪ i been searching ♪ >> jimmy: a beautiful song [ cheers and applause guys, before we go on, i would like to take a moment the thank some of our sponsors for tonight's show they don't always fit in the commercial breaks, and we want to make sure we mention all of them so, it's time for "tonight show sponsors." here we go [ cheers and applause ♪ tonight show sponsors tonight show sponsors ♪ our first sponsor is spectrum, "we hear your complaints, and we don't care. [ laughter and applause head and shoulders, "let everyone who uses your bathroom know you have dandruff." [ laughter and applause cnbc, "cornering the market in business news and shark tank reruns." [ laughter and applause guinness, "because sometimes you're in the mood for a tall cold glass of carbonated motor oil. [ laughter and applause also sponsored by u-haul, "do yo

: yeah >> this is more fun. >> jimmy: yeah >> or funnest. >> jimmy: yeah it is. [ laughter ] >> jimmyd i hear a rumor i heard a rumor about you maybe filming a movie? are you -- >> yes, i'm filming a movie. >> jimmy: you are, but are you doing -- >> well, i'll tell you -- maybe you can guess what i'm filming it starts with an f and it rhymes with "fletch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you are doing "fletch? >> we're remaking "fletch," yes. we're rebooting "fletch" up in boston we start on monday, and we're very excited greg mottola is directing, myself, john slattery -- >> jimmy: holy moly. >> a cast of others will be in it [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: that's major >> very exciting, very exciting yeah, it's very, very exciting it's very exciting we all loved the movie growing up >> jimmy: dude, you're perfect >> it's an '80s staple and we're going to sort of reboot it and update it for the 2000s >> jimmy: you're perfect >> well, thank you >> jimmy: i want to -- i was going to talk about "top gun maverick," of course >> oh, we can talk about that too. >> jimmy: yeah i mean - [ cheers and a

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. thank you. i'm jimmy.'m the host. thank you for coming. very nice. thanks for watching as we are -- [ cheers and applause ] thanks for being here. we are at our headquarters here in hollywood where it's both pumpkin spice and flu season. [ laughter ] not a coincidence. every year, it seeps like flu season comes earlier. my neighbors already put their flu decorations up for two weeks now. [ laughter ] dr. fauci says americans should get their flu shots as soon as possible. and we always listen to what he says, so listen to what he says. you know, i was thinking about it and for years, people have just been getting the flu shot. it wasn't a big deal. and i think that's because we call it the flu shot, not the flu vaccine, even though it is vaccine -- [ laughter ] "vaccine" sounds controversial now. whereas shot just sounds like something you do on spring break. [ laughter ] i think i just solved covid. [ applause ] youtube is finally doing something to slow down the vaccine misinformation train. they are rem

>> no, no. >> jimmy: >> jimmy: that's where it goes too far. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you're from newike it wasn't going to hit us -- >> jimmy: very sudden? >> it was very sudden. we were all sitting there, everybody got an alert on their phone. as we left, it came -- it's like this deluge. so we ran home. and, you know, it was -- there were cracks everywhere, put out bowls and towels and this, it was going on and on. i was very calm the entire time. then the dog peed on the rug. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and that -- >> that was the end of my equanimity. >> jimmy: i see, oh. well, you know what, i'm glad you mentioned your phone. this is something -- i don't know how this subject came un. >> here -- okay, okay. >> jimmy: tell me what we're going to see here. >> did you know that you can name your phone? >> jimmy: yes. >> i didn't know. i saw other people naming their phone. but i never knew that you actively could name your phone. it just seemed like your phone's name came up places. >> jimmy: right. like you'd do an air drop. >> yeah. so you do an air drop, they'll be like, jimmy's ipho

where's jimmy?" "seriously though, where the hell did jimmy go?" "jimmy still in rehab?" laughter ] "is jimmy kimmel on secret suspension? seems too long for vacation." "does kimmel have covid?" "is jimmy alive? i feel like i haven't seen him for a long time." "jimmy is dead, right?" [ laughter ] jimmy is not dead. unless we're all dead. in which case, maybe we're all in hell, i don't know. [ laughter ] all i know is it's good to be wearing makeup again. [ cheers and applause ] i want to ask one thing. the hardest part of being at home while the show was still going on was watching guillermo cheat on me with all the other hosts. [ laughter ] like, great show, great show. you seemed to be having a lot of fun. >> guillermo: jimmy, listen, it i love you. [ audience aw wchaww'ing ] >> jimmy: i wish i could believe anything you say. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: no, it is true! >> jimmy: now i know what it feels like to be on "the bachelor" watching your fiancee take four people to the fantasy suite. i was starting to wonder if you were here for the right reasons. [ laughter ] >>

>> jimmy: i love you happy thri-day >> steve: thri-day, really >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: thri >> jimmy't make that up, right? is that a thing? >> steve: it is now. >> jimmy: happy thri-day >> it's thursday >> jimmy: yeah, but i'm -- it's thri-day [ laughter ] 'cause the energy -- i'm already in the weekend already >> steve: yeah [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well, guys, this sunday is father's day that's right so - [ cheers and applause so make sure you call your dad, even though you'd both prefer text [ laughter ] but talking with dad on father's day is fun. it's a great way to catch up on which neighbors are annoying him for which reasons. [ laughter ] "this guy parks his car in front of his house all the time [ laughter ] this guy, he plays his music -- "okay, good, dad." that's right, father's day is this sunday, and americans are expected to spend over $20 billion. that story, again, on sunday over 20 billion scratch-off tickets will be sold [ laughter ] "good luck, dad. let's get to some news after his week-long trip to europe, president biden is finally back in washington, d.c. w

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. thank you, thank you.ery nice. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] oh, boy. we have so many things to get to, but i want to start tonight with a story that will lift our spirits. our spirits are starting to get a little droopy, so let's give them a lift. what we do is go to a surgeon and give them a lift. [ laughter ] there's a new guinness world record from japan -- a pair of sisters, who, at the age of 107, have been crowned the world's oldest living identical twins. there they are -- umeno and komay. aka mary-kate and ashley oldsen. [ laughter ] that's komay, the face of a woman who's pissed she's missing "wheel of fortune" to take this picture. the previous record-holders were also from japan. one of them died in 2000. the other in 2001. at age 108. you know what they died of? it's weird. they both died in skateboarding accidents. [ laughter ] yeah. half-pipe. finally got 'em. you know? but congratulations to umeno and komay

>> jimmy: "i'm the cool one.s amazing, just won a gold medal. >> he did, yeah. [ cheers and applause it's awesome >> jimmy: i saw you last night at the met gala. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you looked stunning >> thank you >> jimmy: look at this >> thank you [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: i mean, holy moly. >> thank you >> jimmy: how long does it take you to get ready for these events >> that took probably like two hours. >> jimmy: yeah >> which and it was like calm. >> jimmy: yeah >> like i wasn't usually -- i feel like i'm a little more nervous -- >> jimmy: yeah >> -- most years and i was actually really just like calm i told myself before, like, "why stress yourself out with unnecessary nerves, just like be chill." >> jimmy: yeah i felt safe with all the covid. i think they did a good job. >> yeah, yeah, yeah, i thought they did a really good job with everything you were the first person i saw when i walked in with my mom >> jimmy: it's almost like i greeted everyone >> yeah. well, by the way - >> jimmy: ojn the w

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thank you. hi, i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i'm glad you're in a good mood, because i tell you what, you picked a fun one to be at. we have a legendary lineup for you tonight. a ringo starr-studded show. [ cheers and applause ] one of the beatles, ringo starr, is here. to save us. and we have american royalty in the building tonight, too. olympic gold medalist simone biles. [ cheers and applause ] and the doobie brothers with tom johnston and michael mcdonald. [ cheers and applause ] i'll tell you something. personally, cleto and i have been looking forward to this since we were 12 years old. [ laughter ] since we wore socks pulled all the way up to our knees. we get two songs from the doobies tonight. what a night. what a magical time of year this is. the smell of pumpkin spice is everywhere. literally everywhere. [ laughter ] i read this today. a team of research scientists looked into why this pumpkin spice is so popular. turns out, it's not because of the

okay >> jimmy: just chill., which is acting, and you're also producing "nine - [ cheers and applause -- no, really every single day you come out with -- it's like you just keep proving yourself, and you're like, "oh, okay, she's the greatest." it's another one, it's a slam dunk "nine perfect strangers," it's the new "it" show right now. it's on hulu [ cheers and applause people love it everyone's talking about it. >> yes >> jimmy: the finale streams tomorrow can you set up what the show is about? >> this show is such a trippy ride >> jimmy: yeah, it is. >> nine strangers check into a a wellness retreat, which is run by me. >> jimmy: yeah >> i play a russian-american woman who is and her name is masha. >> jimmy: yeah >> and we treat the people for their depression or their trauma or any of the things that they're going through, and it's sort of this crazy ride and the finale is -- happens to be my favorite episode >> jimmy: oh, really >> and that's -- yeah, so that's kind of good. and it gets crazy. >> it all go

the best >> jimmy: how old is she now >> she's 11. >> jimmy: no >> she is 11, yeah >> jimmy: that's wild going to get in trouble for saying that actually >> jimmy: really >> well, she's at that age where everything i do embarrasses her, which is fun for me i'm sure it's very painful for her, but it's fun for me >> jimmy: that's wild that i've known her her whole life then, huh? >> you have, yeah. >> jimmy: that's wild. that's amazing well, please tell her i said hello or i can just say hi if she's watching >> i will. >> jimmy: yeah, please i'm going to send a case of this, by the way so she gets it - >> oh, my gosh >> jimmy: yeah so, yeah i shouldn't have to eye-roll that i'm doing that because, yeah, tell her i love her. all right. you had a very exciting summer because you filmed the sequel to "enchanted" and i knew that - [ cheers and applause you told me that you were going to do that the first one was giant and everyone is back for this one. what can you tell me about the sequel >> it was a lot of fun to film we filmed it in ireland. there is -- everyone's back. we also have great a

>> jimmy: we did, right?. [ cheers and applause >> yeah, thanks. i mean, would you -- are -- are -- would you ever put out music as you like, just - >> totally yeah i'm in route to that into really sing music. >> jimmy: do you record anything >> mm-hm, yeah i have a single dropping soon. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: wait, what >> yeah. >> jimmy: dude, that's fantastic. >> mm-hm >> jimmy: and how does it -- do you get nervous when you -- when you do these things and, you're like -- because like, i watch this movie and i'm like, "oh, if i even did one scene of that, i can do it joking around," but really singing in front of all these people and ben platt as well, i go, "whew. >> oh, yeah, so nervous. yeah, cause i come from film, you know so i wasn't -- like, i'm not well versed in the world of musical theater. and my scene in particular, i remember talking to kaitlyn dever before we shot the film and being like, "i'm really nervous to sing in front of people. and she was like, "don't worry, it's going to be

chicken >> jimmy: that can't be real >> steve: wow, i think that was a comical piece. >> jimmy: yeah,must not be real. yeah [ light laughter ] well guys, get this. this is real vladimir putin had to self-isolate after being exposed to covid right? so the kremlin released some photos of him on vacation to prove that he's feeling great. and i think it worked. here's a couple photos here. here's one of him sitting on a a rock [ laughter ] and here's another one of him leaning against a tree [ laughter ] it looks like he's in russia's newest reality show, "bachelor in siberia." [ laughter and applause he looks like a catalog model for l.l. borscht [ laughter ] he looks like a dad whose gift card to filson was about to expire "get me the outback. i'll take the waterproof jacket, too. [ laughter ] give me -- throw in the camouflage wallet. i can't let the animals see the real wallet in the woods [ laughter ] only problem with camouflage wallets is if i drop it. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] i know you - [ applause ] i'm taking too much of your time." those look like photos you'd pose with the c

>> jimmy: they loved it. >> oh, good. >> jimmy: they cried. >> oh. >> jimmy: the whole thing. >> youghnut in the river, it all -- you're not human! if that doesn't rip your heart out. >> jimmy: it's such a great movie. they learned the word "penisbreath" which they now use a lot. >> it was a great line, we loved it as kids, so i'm not surprised kids today still like it. >> jimmy: have you sat with your kids and watched that? >> it's funny, they've seen -- at first, you know, i didn't want to be an indulgent dip you know what and be like, let's sit around and watch my movies! like, what a jerk. but then it got -- >> jimmy: i totally didn't do that with the "paw patrol" movie this summer, so you know. [ laughter ] >> it's "paw patrol"! >> jimmy: i totally didn't go to the theater and see if anybody recognized me, the other kids. but go on. [ laughter ] >> i'm tempted to sing the "paw patrol" theme song but i'm going to stop, i'm not a singer. ♪ paw patrol paw patrol we'll be there on the double ♪ ♪ paw patrol paw patrol whenever there is trouble ♪ okay, sorry. >> jimmy: it's a great th

yeah >> jimmy: why not?well, we won't say the name we'll bleep it out but pizzeria something, yeah and here's the highlights of the menu underneath. it says panna cotta and carbonated water the highlights i love this restaurant [ laughter ] i love this place. >> steve: what do you love about it >> jimmy: what >> steve: what do you love about it >> jimmy: the pizzeria the pizzeria >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: are you kidding me >> steve: the panna cotta? >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> steve: what else? >> jimmy: they have this water [ laughter ] i can't even tell you. you have to try it for yourself i actually haven't had the pizza. [ laughter ] i go there for the water [ laughter ] we're down to our last one it was sent in by gavin leg in toronto, canada. he was scrolling through instagram, and he came across a photo of a swedish metal band from the '80s called kingpin and he thought one of the guys in the band looked like me [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause i don't know [ cheers and applause that's all the tim

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for spending your friday night with me, after yet another divisive week here in the just barely united states. president biden last night, brought the hammer down. laying out a malarkey-less plan to get the vaccine in more. so we can get the virus out of our lives. biden will mandate that businesses with more than a hundred workers require employees to get either vaccinated or tested once a week. which doesn't seem like that big a deal, but the maga hysteria machine kicked right in. a number of republican lawmakers lashed out, including texas governor greg abbott who tweeted, "biden's vaccine mandate is an assault on private businesses. i issued an executive order protecting texans' right to choose whether they get the covid vaccine." he actually used the words right to choose. just marvel at the hypocrisy of that one for a minute. but i get it. i understand why the greg abbotts of the world are angry. the government's trying to tell them what to do w

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us in the aftermath of the emmys last night. before we go any further, and i want to congratulate my co-workers last night, our show won the emmy for outstanding achievement in variety comedy talk comedy variety. [ applause ] what's that? oh, we didn't? i made that category up? well, thank you guys for believing in us any ways. that is an emmy in and of itself. you know, last year, i hosted the emmys, and this year, i watched them at home, from my kids' bouncy castle. it's funny, people keep kind of giving me their condolences because i didn't host the emmys this year. like, they're sad for me, i have to explain that the emmys rotate. this year they're on cbs. next year nbc, then fox. and the only time i would host is when the show is on abc, because i'm on abc. but they never seem convinced. it's like okay, you're doing good. i had a little gathering of our producers at my house last night to watch the

how would you pay tribute to jimmy greaves? {iii pay tribute to jimmy greaves?ly and friends. it is a very sad time. irate go to all his family and friends. it is a very sad time.— go to all his family and friends. it is a very sad time. we talk about or we use the — is a very sad time. we talk about or we use the word _ is a very sad time. we talk about or we use the word legend _ is a very sad time. we talk about or we use the word legend a _ is a very sad time. we talk about or we use the word legend a lot, - is a very sad time. we talk about or we use the word legend a lot, but l is a very sad time. we talk about or| we use the word legend a lot, but in the case ofjimmy greaves do you think it is justified? i the case ofjimmy greaves do you think it isjustified?_ think it is 'ustified? i think of because think it isjustified? i think of because jimmy _ think it isjustified? i think of because jimmy was - think it isjustified? i think of because jimmy was a - think it isjustified? i think of because jimmy was a legend | think it is justified? i think of i bec

it's| good to get your reflections on the late jimmy greaves.— late jimmy greaves.tice, _ late jimmy greaves. well, i can't really do itjustice, clive, - late jimmy greaves. well, i can't| really do itjustice, clive, because he was that good but there will be all sorts of things in the papers tomorrow and looking back on previous action, although tomorrow and looking back on previous action, althouthimmy of course, played in an era when there was hardly any television at first. his goals were all in black—and—white. no less fantastic for that. black-and-white. no less fantastic for that. , , , for that. oh, yes. the goals were in black-and-white _ for that. oh, yes. the goals were in black-and-white but _ for that. oh, yes. the goals were in black-and-white but i'm _ for that. oh, yes. the goals were in black-and-white but i'm sure - for that. oh, yes. the goals were in black-and-white but i'm sure the i black—and—white but i'm sure the memory were all in colour. it's a pleasure to talk to you and thank you so much for your reflections on the late jimmy you so much

ithink, of course, jimmy was _ it'sjustified? ithink, of course, jimmy was a — it'sjustified?was a legend _ it'sjustified? ithink, of course, jimmy was a legend at - it'sjustified? ithink, of course, jimmy was a legend at chelsea | it'sjustified? i think, of course, i jimmy was a legend at chelsea and it'sjustified? i think, of course, - jimmy was a legend at chelsea and at spurs and all of the clubs he played at but even beyond that, in england he was the biggest goal—scorers that they have ever had. as you mentioned, the word legend is used loosely at times but in jimmy's case, he deserves it and it's always been the case for him. he's been outstanding throughout his career and the goals he scored. his goal—scoring abilities, his character, but he's come through, he's had to overcome a lot of things, and he's a fantastic character and he will be sadly missed. ., ., , ., character and he will be sadly missed. ., ., ,. , , missed. how would you describe his abili to missed. how would you describe his ability to score _ missed. how would you describe his ability to score goals?

jimmy: we are exploring the now.mment on the wall street journal report or what conversation we are having. the bottom line is it has to be the right fit from a brand perspective, the right partner for us. right now, we are in exploratory mode. emily: is there any hesitancy at disney about getting involved in gambling more directly? jimmy: we have done the research. our sports fans are not just ok with it, they are expecting it. we are constantly focused on expanding our audience, growing engagement across our properties, especially digital. what we are hearing loud and clear from our fans is they expect espn to deliver a fiction list sports betting experience, which is why we did those deals before with caesar's and draftkings. jimmy: you have said you are interested in the nfl sunday ticket package. what about that as an added subscription package for espn customers? jimmy: incredibly valuable product. as a sports fan, putting a fact that i may sports executive, as a fan i see the value of that product. i am from n

jimmy greaves, who's died at the age of 81.l commentatorjohn motson told mejimmy greaves was one of his "boyhood heroes" and went on to become one the true footballing greats. motty said so many of his happy memories were tinged only by the sadness of today. i was actually at west ham to join in the minute's silence there today but my mind went back you know, to 1957, i i was 12 years old, and jimmy greaves became a boyhood hero of mine and i will tell you why, that i used to play football on christmas day in those days and my father took me to stamford bridge on 25th december, 1957, and i saw chelsea beat portsmouth by seven goals to four. and 17—year—old jimmy greaves, who had just come into the chelsea side scored four goals that and day and i was hooked, at the achievement of this guy. and if i could just advance that four years he played for chelsea for four seasons, and he scored 132 goals in those four years and his last game for chelsea was at the end of the 60/61 season when he had agreed to go and play in italy. chels

when someone talks about jimmy greaves, what do _ someone talks about jimmy greaves, what do you — someone goal-scoring uenius. what do you think of? goal-scoring genius- his — what do you think of? goal-scoring genius. his footwork, _ what do you think of? goal-scoring genius. his footwork, speed - what do you think of? goal-scoring genius. his footwork, speed of- genius. his footwork, speed of thought. we relate to him as a human being because there are stories of him having a cigarette at half—time during the game in delhi. just incredible. pm during the game in delhi. just incredible.— during the game in delhi. just incredible. �* . , , incredible. an incredible bloke. he saw one of — incredible. an incredible bloke. he saw one of the _ incredible. an incredible bloke. he saw one of the greatest _ incredible. an incredible bloke. he saw one of the greatest goals - incredible. an incredible bloke. he saw one of the greatest goals he l saw one of the greatest goals he scored _ saw one of the greatest goals he scored in — saw one of the greatest goals he scored in 1968— saw one of the gre

the thing about jimmy carter is, i will give you one of my favorite quotes from jimmy carter. he starts tearing up the economy. i make the point he did something remarkable. he began scolding americans. we was something to be done about problems except when it we favorite sacrifice of others covers which abolished tax loopholes and less with our loopholes, walter lippmann in 1935 were recorded the same thing from walter lippmann he love this quote is that the nation prepares for war. as a foreign wartime now. the great he took the great things for granted name asserting them again it's written for every right you cherish you have a duty which must fulfill. for every hope that you entertain, was a task you must perform for every good you wish to happen, you will sacrifice your comfort and ease. there's nothing for nothing any longer c7 like your dad who would appreciate the stringent call evidence against interest in the law like roane reckon i'm going to give you a tax cut will give unicorns and flowers, right? the striking thing about jimmy carter's that's not how he ran for

jimmy wasa jimmy was a legend at chelsea and spurs and all the clubs he played for.u mention, sometimes the word legend is used this silly at times. he has deserved it. it is always the case for him, he has been outstanding throughout his career and the goals he scored. his goal—scoring abilities and character. what he has come through, he has had a lot of things to overcome. a fantastic character who will be sadly missed. there are more tributes on the bbc sport website, tojimmy greaves who's died at the age of 81. after nine years at tottenham — jimmy greaves played for a year at west ham. and this afternoon at the london stadium, ahead of kick—off against manchester united in the premier league, there was a minute's applause for greaves, who scored 13 goals in 38 appearences during his brief spell at west ham. and what a match it was that followed. west ham took the lead but manchester united found an equaliser five minutes later through none other than ronaldo. it looked as though the points would be shared but jesse lingaard, on loan at west ham last season, had

fox across america hose, jimmy shayla jimmy, there is a plethora of comedians named jenny. yourself a comedian yet i believe it. unlike these poor jimmy's. >> before we get there, let's acknowledge the shot taken of my wardrobe. you're the king of late night. we can't all afford to shop the hottest new fashions at baby gap. >> greg: no, jesse watters did that joke on monday. he looked better doing it. >> i'm amazed how many of those jackets you have. >> there's a lot. >> you're on the show a lot. congrats. but there's a new ugly jacket every time. >> i'm not going to sit here and let you slander my stylist. >> i'm not slandering. >> you look like you feed a leprechaun. that's is funny that's why people are watching the show because we are changing the climate of late night. when it comes to the climate, they do recycle the same trump jokes every night. they practice with ap mike creech. this is where late night comedy really is failing america and i mean that. lena comedies to be a source on something called common culture where we all put our differences aside for an hour