okay >> jimmy: maybe. >> baby. >> jimmy: we >> we. >> jimmy: found. >> found >> jimmy: love >> love in >> baby we found love right where we are >> jimmy: and it was the other one too. and then, it was also, "now that we found love, what are we going to do with it. ♪ now that ♪ there we go. all right. >> okay, my turn >> jimmy: yeah >> i'm going to whisper it [ laughter ] i'm going to swing >> jimmy: um, you're sweet >> from a chandelier >> jimmy: um, do you want some drinks [ laughter ] ♪ i'm going to swin from the chandelier ♪ >> jimmy: hey, i'm putting the tray >> the tray, no. ♪ i'm going to swin from a chandelier ♪ >> jimmy: i'm -- sway. sway >> swing swing. >> jimmy: sway >> i'm going to swing. >> jimmy: i'm -- sway. >> -- from the chandelier. >> jimmy: i swear -- i swear to god. [ laughter ] i sway >> i'm going to swing. >> jimmy: i sweet -- i sway into you >> swing, like on a swing. >> jimmy: i sway into you. >> swing i'm going to swing - >> jimmy: i swaying with you [ laughter ] >> i'm gonna swing >> jimmy: i'm going to sway. >> swing >> jimmy: i'm going to swing >> swing show

"hey, jimmy.questlove: yeah, man. i love the costumes. yeah >> jimmy: yeah how about you, mark? >> i'll probably go. adam driver is good in everything >> jimmy: yeah, good >> steve: good >> jimmy: yeah what about you, james? are you excited for "house of gucci" >> never heard of it [ laughter and applause ♪ >> jimmy: wow. sorry i asked. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: this next one is from jeff billingham. "hey, jimmy. i'm a big fan of tennis. oh, good i like tennis too. "but i don't like it when tennis players make those loud grunts please don't show me a bunch of other sports with tennis grunting in it it would just really bum me out. [ laughter ] "just kidding. it's opposite day. [ laughter ] it's a very tricky suggestion. well, if it's opposite day and you don't want to see grunting in other sports, here you go bud! [ grunting ] [ grunting ] ♪ [ grunting ] >> jimmy: yeah, there you go [ applause ] it's opposite day. >> steve: yeah [ laughter ] all right, here we go. let's try one more here. this one

>> jimmy: wow. >> how did you get - >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. >> tariq: we're connected. >> jimmyed. >> where's the machine >> tariq: obviously a time machine. >> jimmy: that's great >> yeah. >> wow thank you. >> jimmy: i'm drawing. what number? [ audience shouts okay okay >> what is it? >> jimmy: a person >> oh. >> jimmy: does that help at all? >> yeah, i'm going to guess people now [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, ready for this all right, here we go. >> tariq: first of all, that's not even your board. like you're drawing on - [ laughter ] >> no, no, no. he's drawing for me. it's fine. i'm sorry. >> tariq: okay, okay >> you cannot distract him start the time over. >> tariq: okay, okay >> go back, rewind legs it's horseman. it's a cowman. cowboy cow in the latrine poop, pee, bathroom. outhouse man >> jimmy: what >> udder milkman. >> jimmy: yes! nice job [ ding ] [ cheers and applause ♪ >> milkman >> milkman >> jimmy: that's all right >> tariq: yeah >> wow >> tariq: nice whose turn is it >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah >> my god. >> tariq: great. >> wow wow. >> tariq: great, gr

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you.hat's very kind, i appreciate it. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy kimmel, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] you may not know it around here but tonight is a big night for country music here on abc. the cma awards. you picked a good night to stay up. we've got ryan reynolds, science bob pflugfelder, and music from ryan hurd and maren morris. the real ones. the ryan and maren you saw at the cmas earlier tonight in nashville were clones. the real ones are here with us. [ laughter ] one cool thing about the cma awards is you can watch without any fear that kanye is going to interrupt an acceptance speech. [ laughter ] odds are very low. country music, for the most part, either you're in or you're out. it's the most popular genre of music in the country. but here in l.a. for years we didn't even have a country music radio station, we had none. now we have one. so i thought it might be fun to play a game with our audience tonight. it's called "countr

>> jimmy: oh [ laughter ] >> steve: oh >> jimmy: lil jon just hopped on the call.r being here. you're teaming up with dj khaled? >> what? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i said, "you're teaming up with dj khaled? >> yeah! >> jimmy: that's incredible. [ laughter ] now, are you guys working with anyone else? ♪ jason derulo ♪ >> jimmy: oh this is triple threat. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here, guys anything else you'd like to say? ♪ jason derulo ♪ >> we the best >> yeah! >> chicken >> jimmy: okay thank you very much. [ cheers and applause that's nice of them to stop by nice of them to stop by. this is -- well this is interesting, i read that americans are ditching knockoff brands and returning to recognizable big-name brands >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: but i'm not sure i trust the story because i read about it in "tim" magazine [ laughter ] >> what? >> jimmy: yeah [ laughter ] and finally, a man was trying to renew his license at a california dmv when he found out that he'd been declared dead [ audience oohs he said, "how am i dead if i'm standing here? the d

>> and music on. >> jimmy: do it two versions >> yeah. >> jimmy: why not?h, me too >> you know. >> jimmy: speaking of needing to laugh, i was reading about your first film, which was "the color purple." >> right >> jimmy: but i know you as a performer on broadway and a comedian >> yeah. >> jimmy: and how do you end up going into "the color purple" with drama >> he asked me >> jimmy: spielberg? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and cause you saw him at the show? >> i think he heard about the show and quincy jones told him about me and i think, also, alice walker, who lived in san francisco where i lived, and i think she came to see some of my weird shows >> jimmy: yeah >> and so she, you know, said, "hey, there's this weird girl who might be okay. you know and when you think about it, it's like -- i was very, very controversial. >> jimmy: oh, yeah >> oh, yeah. a very long time ago [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you haven't stopped. >> well -- >> jimmy: you haven't stopped, whoopi >> i swear i'm not as bad as i used to be [ laughter ] i'm not. i'm not. i don't -- you know. >> jimmy

and i think it's going to be -- >> jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, jimmy. breaking the rules.out. >> jimmy: what do you mean? i was told i could mention this, they want to sell toys. [ laughter ] you can see there's me as craven the hunter, which i am playing. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's pretty good. yeah, you do look a little like john krasinski. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you saying john krasinski is playing craven the hunter? >> i'm saying you look a little like him. >> jimmy: interesting, interesting. well, no. i'm super excited. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was so much fun working with you guys. [ laughter ] >> what the hell, jimmy? we had this conversation. just because you have a chat show doesn't mean you can chat about this. >> jimmy: turns out that when they give you the nondisclosure forms, if you sign "lionel richie" on them, it doesn't app apply. [ laughter ] you're not legally bound. plus i'm so excited. >> let me put that rumor to bed, lionel richie is not in this film. >> jimmy: really? i might not see it. [ laughter ] it's very good to see you, i look forward t

>> jimmy: yeah >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: a clean sweep! >> steve: come on!an sweep, buddy >> questlove: yeah >> jimmy: you won best documentary, best music documentary, best archival documentary, best first documentary feature, best editing, and best director congratulations, buddy >> questlove: thank you. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: wow. what -- what -- what was it like and when did -- what part did it get surreal or was it all surreal? >> questlove: the whole thing was surreal. >> jimmy: yeah >> questlove: and i had the -- i had the seat in the back, so it took me like two minutes to -- "pardon me, pardon me, excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, pardon me. >> jimmy: you're one of those guys >> questlove: yeah >> jimmy: hilarious, man well, congratulations. we're so proud of you, bud you did a great job. [ cheers and applause it's just fantastic. "summer of soul. if you haven't seen it, check it out hey, guys, it's time to take a a look at the stories making headlines today, and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go >> steve

>> jimmy: the exit -- yeah oh, how about -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: tomago >> tomago. >> jimmy: how about yeah, we're in -- egg heads egg heads. >> jimmy: yeah, you got egg heads. >> it's like a bowie thing >> jimmy: yeah, you don't -- you're not quite -- not ready to hatch [ laughter ] >> we could name it -- we could name it after someone who has done something, you know, remarkable like, we could name it after a a real person like elon musk >> jimmy: yes. >> or, maybe, kanye. he's not -- he isn't using his name any more. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, yeah, he got rid of his name. >> so he's -- i kinda like that >> jimmy: yeah, legally, we're allowed to get "kanye. >> kanye >> jimmy: "kanye" is the name of the next 30-second to mars album. >> thank you very much >> jimmy: that's it right there. "kanye." [ cheers and applause >> thank you >> jimmy: he's not using it. >> thank you >> jimmy: you got it >> thank you >> jimmy: you should do that >> i appreciate it >> jimmy: can i just ask you about a couple photos? because i love showing pictures of you >> yes >> jimmy: because i live vicariousl

>> jimmy: that's what i'm like when i go gambling >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: jimmy popcorn here >> steve yeah i go -- "popcorn!" popcorn! >> steve: i love vegas i'll go there next time and i'll do, "popcorn. >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: i'm going to vegas - >> jimmy: yeah, let me know when you go. >> steve: okay >> jimmy: not before >> steve: not before >> jimmy: wait until you go. then tell me after, we'll talk about it >> steve: so when i'm there i should tell you. >> jimmy: uh-uh. when you come back home. i'll wait for it >> steve: you got it don't worry. it's gonna be great. >> jimmy: i can't wait >> steve: for me to go to vegas? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i can't even talk about it now >> steve: why? you got something to do? >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: what's that? >> jimmy: what's that? [ laughter ] i'm going to do this bit i'm going to finish this bit >> steve: oh, i'm sorry. you were doing a bit i did not realize it zip, zip shutting it up go for it. don't want to interrupt it >> jimmy: no [ laughter ] >> steve: it's humor the people -- the people enjoy it got to show some respect >

>> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: how long has it been?ht? you actually look a little bit better. [ laughter ] >> thank you, thank you very much. i started to feel very close to probably what matt damon feels like. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, is that right? >> i was like, maybe this is on purpose. >> jimmy: you're not supposed to say that name, bad things happen, he would appear. [ laughter ] you have a baby girl? >> i have a baby girl, nican och nicanoschiana valderrama, she turned 9 months yesterday. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's great. is that a family name, nicano? >> no, inspired by a trip to japan, a trip where we said "i love you" and we both agreed a family is what we wanted with each other. so when we went to name our daughter we said, how can we commemorate that day where she was a possibility? and we went back to an ancient female samurai, an honorable geisha, female samurai by the name of keiko nikano, so we took that nikano and gave her a strong japanese name. and my lady is a scuba diver, a dive master. >> jimmy: i knew one da

wvr. >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: yeah, with all in one thing. >> jimmy: dude, did you get "wvr"?hter ] >> jimmy: oh, i got the wvr. >> steve: i got wvr too. shoot. [ laughter ] oh, hey. >> jimmy: yeah [ laughter ] >> steve: what's that? oh, hey. hey. hello? [ laughter ] okay [ laughter ] "wavr. "wavr. the new meta [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @fencertoni. she says, "hungovermates, like postmates but they deliver a a blue gatorade and a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause that's -- i could do that. >> steve: now. >> jimmy: invent that immediately. >> steve: one button >> jimmy: that is genius this one is from @thetiktokman >> steve: @thetiktokman. god bless him. >> jimmy: he says, "yelp but it gives you reviews of the person you are dating from their exes." oh, hey. [ laughter and applause kyle has zero stars. >> steve: oh, hell no. >> jimmy: this one is from @cxhenderson he says, "a movie theater rewards app that deletes the reward points of anyone who talks during the movie." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause yeah this one is from @beatr

halloween, jimmy. >> jimmy: wow.y? >> i am. >> jimmy: or a hobbyist? yes? >> i am a working bearded lady with the venice freak show. >> jimmy: you work with one of those freak shows. when did you realize that you could grow hair on your kin? >> let's see, i must have been at least 13. >> jimmy: 13 years old. you decided, hey, i'm going to spin this into a positive. >> sal: this is weird. >> everyone wants a beard. >> jimmy: all right. all right, maybe we should change this to "who's crazy" instead. [ laughter ] next up, we have paul -- >> sal: another bearded lady. >> hi, jimmy. >> he's pretty. >> jimmy: paul, you have a beard. you have a rugged-looking beard. >> why, thank you. >> jimmy: yet it's well styled, isn't it? yes, and paul what do you do for work? >> just -- here and there, just surviving l.a. >> jimmy: all right. okay. all right. i think -- i'm starting to form my answer already. [ laughter ] and finally, we have liliana. hi, liliana. >> hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you, and where are you from? >> i'm fro

>> jimmy: "kiss me more. >> "kiss me more." >> jimmy: doja >> i love this song. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: nicks. okay here we go ♪ ♪ can you kiss me mor we're so young ♪ ♪ boy we ain't go nothing to los oh oh ♪ ♪ it's just principle baby hold me ♪ ♪ cause i lik the way you groove oh oh ♪ ♪ boy you write your name i can do the same ♪ ♪ oh i love the taste oh la la ♪ ♪ all on my toung boy you write your nam i can do the sam oh i love the taste ♪ ♪ oh la la la ♪ [ cheers and applause >> all on my tounge. i want it. >> jimmy: that is beautiful! >> thank you >> jimmy: i want to hear that all night! come on, that's fantastic! >> thank you now it's time for another bad version. here we go [ laughter ] >> oh, come on >> jimmy: it's my turn now here we go [ beeping that was fantastic >> oh, my gosh, thanks [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hold on, hold on the spiderman theme song the cartoon spider-man, spider-man british invasion spider-man. feel like a beatles -- >> what's british invasion >> jimmy: yeah >> what does that mean oh, beatles. ♪ ♪ spider-man spider-man does whatever a spider can ♪ ♪ spins a w

it's big, so this might take a minute. >> jimmy: it's jimmy kimmel.he host of the show we asked you to be on. >> oh, okay, yeah, jimmy kimmel. sorry. i didn't recognize your face because i'm supposed to pretend i'm not doing that anymore. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, i heard you guys shut down the facial recognition technology. what made you decide to do this now? >> well, you know, that's a simple answer. we finished. >> jimmy: you finished? >> yeah, we collected all the faces. and mark zuckerberg's blood pact with the dark lord is resolved, so we're done. [ laughter ] just as the prophecy foretold. >> jimmy: did you just say something about a prophecy? >> i'm sorry, who are you again? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's jimmy kimmel. >> okay, okay, let me write that down because i am finding you extremely forgettable. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. >> listen. don't feel bad, though. this morning i woke up and foun never seen before. >> jimmy: oh my god, really? that's scary, was it a break-in? >> he told the police he was my husband, but who can be sure?

there. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's so good >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, "tick, tick...e way. >> tariq: thank you. >> jimmy: jonathan larson -- it's a story -- it's about jonathan larson. >> yeah. >> jimmy: can you tell everyone who -- who he was? >> yeah. jonathan larson is -- is most known to the world as the composer of "rent," which knocked me flat when i saw it for my 17th birthday i was in the back row of the nederlander theater, and it was the most contemporary musical i'd ever heard it was the most diverse cast i'd ever seen on broadway. it gave me hope that i could maybe be in a broadway show. >> jimmy: wow. >> because it looked like the new york i actually live in. and it was about artists, sort of, struggling to survive. and i knew i wanted that life for myself and, you know, so i became a a theater major. i started writing musicals, because i saw "rent. and, you know, when i was a senior in college -- now i'm a senior -- i'm a theater major. i did it i followed jonathan larson's advice >> jimmy: yeah >> and i saw the off-broadway version of "tick, tick... boo

>> jimmy: yeah.nly problem is he's dressed as mr. spock. [ laughter ] the blue shirt was spock, captain kirk wore a gold shirt. [ applause ] that you saw right there is vintage bill de blasio. in an effort to ingratiate himself to a small cotillion of middle-aged nerds who would be excited to learn he's a fellow a fellow trekkie. he winds up looking like a phony to them and a loser to all the rest of us. [ laughter ] >> i want to remind everyone of the prime directive, "live long and prosper -- with candy." >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] will someone please vulcan nerve pinch this man out of his misery? whoever wrote that hates him, right? [ cheers and applause ] mayor deblasio wasn't our only elected official goofing around in costume today. senator mitt romney came to work dressed as ted lasso. [ laughter ] or super mario, we really don't know which one. [ laughter ] and then, he stopped by fellow republican kyrsten sinema's office. she went dressed as ted's boss, rebecca. he handed her biscuits. the

>> it's real gold you guys >> jimmy: oh, my god >> paid for by jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: yeah, of course saugerties and you guys, jimmy is like a god there, there's pictures of him, like, in restaurants >> jimmy: that's my hometown, saugerties, new york >> i love that >> jimmy: shoutout hi, saugerties >> yeah. hi, saugerties >> jimmy: i love that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why don't you come back when the movie comes out? >> i'd love to it was very cold >> jimmy: it was saugerties is -- you're back in new york. >> i'm back. >> jimmy: you're in studio, thank you for doing this >> i'm so happy to be here, it feels so nice. i got here the day the marathon, or actually the hour the marathon was ending right in front of my hotel >> jimmy: wow. >> and i had to pull my bags like five blocks i wasn't even mad because it's so nice to see people like out and about doing things, it's great. >> jimmy: new york is the greatest at this time of year too. it's gorgeous. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you bring the dogs >> unfortunately, the dogs are back in l.a., getting the full l.a. treatment, but i'll be back in a

>> jimmy: wow!wift that was stressful, oh, my gosh i have to take -- i'm taking that home by the way you can take that home >> it smells delicious >> jimmy: you can have that. yeah, you can have that. taylor swift, everybody. i'm talking to taylor more after the break. stick around come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ (vo) singing, or speaking. reason, or fun. daring, or thoughtful. sensitive, or strong. progress isn't either or progress is everything. ♪♪ ♪♪ motrin works fast to stop pain where it starts. like those nagging headaches. uncomfortable period pains. and disruptive muscle aches. you can count on fast, effective relief with motrin. on my travels across the country you can count on fast, i came across this house with water dripping from the ceiling. you never know when something like this will happen. so let the geico insurance agency help you with homeowners insurance and protect yourself from things like fire, theft, or in this case, water damage. now if i had to guess i'd say somewhere

like "jimmy!-- i saw you going like - you know, i saw you testing it to make sure that it would take your weight. and i kind of saw you like maneuver yourself over so i was like, "you know, i'm going to do the same thing." >> jimmy: maneuver myself? i jumped over the bush [ laughter ] jumped over. >> did you >> jimmy: yeah >> do we have a -- do we have a picture? >> jimmy: apparently, yeah, i have a picture oh, this is you. >> that's me >> jimmy: wait, you jumped the bush >> yeah, 'cause i jumped in after you. 'cause i was like "if jimmy fallon is going to go and say hi to the fans who have been waiting all night to, you know, for a glimpse of the stars then i want to do the same thing i wanted go and spend some time with them. >> jimmy: you're a good man. look, here's simu liu. look at this [ laughter ] clearing - [ cheers and applause clearing the bush. and then you go right into the street >> mostly a great shot of my ass, but yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, no -- i love that - all right, so here's a pic

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i was just jimmy, jimmy the sports guy.there in the morning, we were like, what's the problem, we're here every morning. >> at 4:30 a.m. >> jimmy: yeah. >> what's the prime slot? if you're in radio? >> jimmy: morning drive. >> 4:00 to 6:00? >> jimmy: 6:00, 5:30 to 10:00 a.m. then you have to do a shift sunday morning too. >> you were in show business, my friend. >> jimmy: yes. >> you got paid to say funny things to people with a microphone. >> jimmy: yes. and i couldn't hear if they were laughing so i just assumed they weren't. >> i assume they weren't. [ laughter ] but they were waiting for the next song. they were waiting for that. >> jimmy: on a serious note, if i may, as you know, i love the show "bosom buddies." >> aww. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: not only do i love tom hanks and admire him, peter scolari, your friend and costar and the guy you started with on television, passed away. two weeks ago. >> peter walked onto the set saying, we have a guy who's going to be the other bosom buddy, he's already done two f

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everybody.hank you, thank you, thank you. that's great. i appreciate that, thanks. welcome, hi. thank you very much. thank you, guillermo. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for watching at home. wow, quite a difference, right? tell you what. we have almost a whole audience. we have been bumped up from 50 to 75% capacity. [ cheers and applause ] that's you guys. i've been told that all 125 members of our studio audience are tested, vaccinated and sexually aroused. is that the case? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate it. i love that you had an extra hour of sleep last night, theoretically. did you get an extra hour? >> guillermo: yeah, everybody did. >> jimmy: you did? i didn't, not me. [ laughter ] i did not enjoy an extra hour of sleep because i have a 4-year-old maniac living at my house who loves to wake us up. [ laughter ] this was my clock this morning. when my son billy walked in and tapped me on the head to make him french toast, i knew

>> jimmy: wow, i love you.u got to feel the love right there come on. >> yes thank you. yes. >> jimmy: i gotta feel the love >> i could feeling the love, man. thank you, man >> jimmy: will smith, come on! [ cheers and applause we love you, dude. >> that is fantastic >> jimmy: we love you, dude. all right -- >> oh, that's fantastic. >> jimmy: here's how it works. the roots are going to start playing a song one instrument at a time. >> ooh >> jimmy: and will and i can buzz in and guess as soon as you know the song. if you guess wrong, the other person gets a chance to steal. >> to steal? >> jimmy: yeah, you can play along at home. roots, let's hear the first -- am i going to get these, quest >> questlove: okay i don't know [ laughter ] are you going to get these >> jimmy: all right. >> questlove: we're going to see. >> jimmy: let's hear the first song all right, whenever -- whenever you are ready. >> questlove: two, three - [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ >> do you know that? >> jimmy: yep. [ buzzer ] sometimes i go wonder how

>> jimmy: wow!sh! taylor swift that was stressful, oh, my gosh i have to take -- i'm taking that home by the way you can take that home >> it smells delicious >> jimmy: you can have that. yeah, you can have that. taylor swift, everybody. i'm talking to taylor more after the break. stick around come on back [ cheers and applause ♪ (vo) subaru and our retailers believe in giving back. that's why, in difficult times, we provided one hundred and fifty million meals to feeding america. and now through the subaru share the love event, we're helping even more. by the end of this year, subaru will have donated over two hundred and twenty five million dollars to charity. this is what it means to be more than a car company. this is what it means to be subaru. walmart's deals for days isn't over yet. this cyber monday is your last chance to score big online starting sunday night. don't miss out on walmart's deals for days. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ deals for days. ♪ ♪ ♪ (sha bop sha bop) ♪ ♪ are the stars out tonight? (sha bop

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us in southern california, where something pretty crazy happened not too far south of us on interstate 5 friday. an armored truck was full of money, somehow the door swung open while it was on the highway. and money started pouring out onto the road. this was the scene in carlsbad. it was a literal money grab. people were pulling over. how the door to an armored truck flies open, i do not know. the drivers had to be high, right? these police got hand cuffed. but for most of these people, it was the greatest thing ever. look at the celebrations! but it's a federal crime to take it. all those people who posted videos with the money are wanted by the police. it's illegal to pick up litter now? seems to me, if there's loose cash all over the road that falls under the finders-keepers clause of the constitution, right? authorities are urging those who took it to give the money back. right. there's a better chance of jfk

i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching and thanks for joining us on, i don't know if you know, today's a notable day. today marks one year since the presidential election. can you believe that? it only seems like ten. [ laughter ] remember a year ago, we wondered how long plumpty trumpty could keep being a sore loser? [ laughter ] turns out, the answer was "forever." joe biden said he ran for president "to restore the soul of america." well, i'm not sure if we've had our soul restored, but we did get the mcrib back, which is a great start. [ laughter ] things aren't great, but they could be worse. in fact, on this one year anniversary, let's look back at the many times donald trump warned us of what would happen warned under a biden presidency. >> if joe biden became president, china will own this country. if joe biden gets in, your second amendment is gone. your 401(k)s and money itself will be worthless. no city or town or suburb will be safe. religio

>> jimmy: did you meet halle? >> no. >> jimmy: did you know her?i'm good. >> jimmy: you're like the happiest person i think i've ever met in my whole life, and i mean that as a great compliment. i really do. >> i just really like talk shows. >> jimmy: is that what it is? normally you're sulen? >> yeah. it's only when i come on. >> jimmy: i see. do you ever get really mad? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you do. is your mad a higher level than other people's mad? because your happy seems to be at i ahi higher level. >> probably yes. my emotions are -- there's no in between with me. >> jimmy: when is the last time you were really, really mad? >> oh, god. i get over -- like i can get overwhelmed. >> jimmy: okay. >> you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you see? >> jimmy: i did feel a little bit. i did get a little taste of it. you just came in from georgia? is that correct? >> i did, yeah. i'm filming in savannah right now. >> jimmy: oh. i've never been there but i hear it's very beautiful. >> yeah, it's nice. you can -- it's like kind of like a new orleans, you can dr

have a good -- right now on jimmy >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jamie dornan. jessica williams. and music from dustin lynch featuring mckenzie porter. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. welcome. thank you, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for staying up late to watch us. thanks to all of you for traveling far and wide to join us here in disgusting hollywood, california. [ laughter ] home of the dirtiest spider-men in the world! [ laughter ] there is litter and fit here as far as the eye can see. it's the kind of place that makes you want to sit on a rocket and fly away, and pretty soon, you will be able to do that. because flying motorcycles are coming. there is a company here in california that is hoping to have flying motorcycles available by 2023. you can buy them, you can ride them. this is called "the speeder." it's daily a jet key you lay on. dj khaled already pre-ordered six of them. [ laughter ] the top model goes 150 miles per hour, capable of going up to 15,000 feet f

>> jimmy: yeah >> and that's why i did it >> jimmy: yeah exactly.iti and earn a cash bonus when you open a new eligible account and complete required activities. ♪ i see trees of green ♪ ♪ red roses too ♪ ♪ i see them bloom for me and you ♪ (music) ♪ so i think to myself ♪ ♪ oh what a wonderful world ♪ the xfinity black friday sales event is happening now on xfinity mobile. now new and existing customers can get our best wireless deal of the year - up to $1,000 in savings - for a limited time only. on the most reliable network nationwide, plus nationwide 5g. act now and save up to $1,000 with xfinity mobile. so you can go all out on gifts for the family - during our best wireless deal of the year... ent. click, call or visit a store today. wealth management is planning your path together. and, it's guiding you along the way. start a relationship with citi and earn a cash bonus when you open a new eligible account and complete required activities. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: our next guest is the host of "the ali kolbert show," available at app

jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, thank you. thank you, thank you. hi, everybody. hi. hi. welcome. muchos gracias. very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for all the clapping. by the way, thank you for joining us on national unfriend day. national unfriend day, or "nud" for short, is an occasion that i concocted 11 years ago. it is a day on which i urge americans to purge. to remove those randos on facebook who are not your "friends." [ laughter ] of course, this was before arguments over vaccines and donald trump removed our friends for us. [ laughter ] it was a simpler time. here's a good way to tell if you shouldn't still be facebook friends with someone -- if they are still on facebook, that's it, really. [ laughter ] [ applause ] happy nud. i will say this. your only real friends are your dogs anyway. this is an invention that i'm not sure how to feel about. a professor in glasgow has developed an electronic device that allows do

>> jimmy: squeeze it >> squeeze it. >> jimmy: squeeze it >> squeeze it.m not squeezing it ever in my life [ laughter ] i'll take the loss on this what was i holding and squeezing? >> a hairy egg >> jimmy: ew [ sad tuba ] [ cheers and applause disgusting eggs hairy eggs i knew it was something that smells all right, victoria, here comes yours. this is going to be great. we might end on this [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> oh, come on i'm from london. help me. >> jimmy: no, no, no, look here's the deal. she's really cute. >> oh, stop. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: yeah, put both hands in ♪ [ cheers ] >> can someone give me a clue? this is like - >> jimmy: that one's closer. that one -- the left - that one's - >> squeeze it! >> oh. oh, my god, what is it [ laughter ] oh, my god, it's like sticky and disgusting - it's like a -- >> jimmy: look at yourself don't touch it anymore your fingers are going to get all black. this is mascara. [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause sorry about that i apologize. [ sad tuba ] oh, no, i should've given you this one sorry. >>

and now - jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you.h, it's very nice. thank you. hi, everybody. that's very fine, i appreciate it. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. i'm glad you're here. jon bernthal and michelle, the bachelorette, are with us tonight on "bachelorette" night here in the usa. are you watching "the bachelorette" this season? [ cheers and applause ] i feel half of you are lying but that's all right. [ laughter ] we are getting a sense of what we may have to look forward to in the race for president, in 2024. why we're talking about the race for president in 2024, i have no idea. but since we are, joe biden was asked and says he expects to run again. even though he will be 82 years old. he's planning to either run for re-election or take out a reverse mortgage on the white house. [ laughter ] some democrats are hoping bernie will be the nominee again. but he's 80. bernie sanders makes joe biden look like timothÉe chalamet. [ laughter ] but make no mistake. joe wants you to know he

>> jennifer lawrence >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's fantastic >> very specific >> jimmy: i is perfect roots, we have shannon here from long island, okay thanksgiving's coming up her favorite side dish is mashed potatoes. and if she can invite any celebrity to have thanksgiving with her, it would be jennifer lawrence. for this one, maybe i've been listening to a lot of industry baby lil nas x? can we do -- [ laughter ] yeah can you do it like that type of - that type of vibe? ♪ >> okay, i got it. ♪ >> okay. shannon, right ♪ look long islan we comin' live wit my buddy shannon ♪ ♪ she's my friend and not my sidekick ♪ ♪ and thanksgivin is the time i ca vibe with ♪ ♪ jennifer lawrence made me eat my favorit side dish ♪ ♪ mashed potatoes taters tater taters taters ♪ ♪ mashed potatoes taters tater taters taters ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: thank you! thank you for being here, i appreciate it. who else how about how about someone on this side? right there, i see you right there in the front it's ryan gosling, everybody amazing. [ laughter ] what is your name? i'm sorry. >>

>> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. i hope you had a happy halloween. we did something fun. we took the kids trick-or-treating. ever do this? and i had a revelation. if your kids don't say "thank you" when they get candy, you did a bad job. that's how you know. my dad was at the house yesterday. we had an interesting conversation. my father grew up in brooklyn. i was getting the kids ready. i was painting my daughter's face, and he said, "i miss what we used to do on halloween." i said, "what did you do?" he said, "we would go across the street to the apartment complex. ring the bells. you'd fill up your sack with cady. then we'd go out in the street and hit each other over the head with socks filled with chalk." what? you'd hit each other with socks filled with chalk? "yeah." why? to leave a chalk mark? "yeah, they were black socks. you were supposed to break up the chalk into little pieces, but nobody did." did it hurt? "it hurt like hell." and then he added, "but i really think it was the safest thing you could do."

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. that's great. thank you for watching. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. we have almost a whole audience! we have been bumped up from 50 to 75% capacity. [ applause ] i've been told that all 125 members of our studio audience are tested, vaccinated and sexually aroused. is that the case? i love that you had an extra hour of sleep last night, theoretically. did you get an extra hour? >> yeah, everybody did. >> jimmy: not me. i did not enjoy an extra hour of sleep because i have a four-year-old maniac living in my house. this was my clock this morning. when my son billy walked in and tapped me on the head to make him french toast, i knew he wasn't going to eat. 5:59 am. that's as blurry as my vision was. and why? why do we do this to ourselves? daylight saving time is something benjamin franklin, who has been dead for 230 years, came up with as a joke! and it's still screwing with us. for no reason. we don't have to worry about conserving whale blubber for our lamps anymore. here in california, we

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. oh, please, relax. we have a lot to get to tonight. it's election day in a number of states. a guy cried about his jacket on “the bachelorette.” there's a lot of important news. and we will get into all of that, but first i'd like to take a moment to share something that has me puzzled and disturbed. the story goes like this. one of our producers, let's call her maggie, because that is her name, was at a wedding in greenwich, connecticut over the weekend. she was staying at a hyatt regency hotel and it was friday night. she got back from the rehearsal dinner and turned on our show. which, by the way, maggie, i appreciate. she tuned in to our local abc affiliate on the cable system in the room. and this is the description of me and our show. “chubby, cheeky comedian jimmy kimmel, late of cable tv's raunchy the man show, was launched in his own late-night abc talk-variety series on january 26, 2003.” really? nineteen years later, that's stil

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i appreciate that. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on the most important holiday of all, cyber monday. also known as "every company you ever bought something from sends you eleven emails" day. great to hear from you linens n' things. it's listen so long. i got aggressive for cyber monday this year. i drove down to the port of los angeles and lined up outside a container ship. i was like hey, let's go. this is our first show back after thanksgiving. i hope you had a good one. i had a mildly frightening thanksgiving. you may have seen this on istagram. i was lighting the pizza oven and i wish i could say this is the first time i've done this, but i turned on the gas and flipped the switch. usually it lights up first. 40 minutes goes by. the oven didn't light. so i grabbed a piece of paper, lit it on fire. lit it on fire, and tossed it into the oven and boom! it came right back at me. it's a good thing i was wearing a hat because i would be bald tonight. i wound up roasting my hair and lig

and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. hi, everyone.hanks. gentlemen. guillermo. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for joining us on a night when things are literally looking up. if you are watching this show on tv right now, you might be missing a once-in-a-lifetime event. the lengthiest partial lunar eclipse in almost 600 years is happening at this moment. but you don't have to run out immediately, because it's three hours and 28 minutes long. longer than the movie "dune." by an hour. [ laughter ] so you can go out, and take a bunch of blurry pictures you'll never look at after the show. when the sun, the earth, and a full moon line up, it's called, i learned this today, a syzygy. which is a term that was first coined when a cat walked across an astronomer's keyboard. [ laughter ] i tell you something, if jfk doesn't come back tonight, he's not coming ever, right? [ cheers and applause ] somebody tell those qanoners in dallas to go home. it's not a full eclipse. the earth's shadow is only partiall

>> jimmy: really? oh. wow. >> yeah. so he was like excited too. >> jimmy: so he was not being cool with the "squid game" people. he was a fan all of a sudden. you -- this show of yours is based on -- well, it's based on a real person. a person we assume is real. we've never seen her. catherine the great. >> he why. >> jimmy: in what, the 1700s? >> 1800s. well, no, 1700s. 18th century. >> jimmy: 18th century. and is it historically accurate at all? >> it is. well, some things are. we take a lot of liberties. this is not like a history lesson. i definitely would not go into it thinking that we are teaching you anything about history here. we make a lot of stuff up. [ laughter ] for sure. tony mcnamara is the writer and the creator of the show and our show runner. he's the most wild imagination in the whole world and incredible. p but there is -- catherine the great did a lot of progressive and amazing things in her time. and we do share that because that horse rumor about her that she like had sex with a horse -- >> jimmy

late night now. >> and jimmy kimmel has moved up to 11:35.d there is a presidential election coming up. >> i am running for president of the united states. >> people are already trying to figure out what to call bill clinton if hillary is elected president. yeah. so far the most popular choices are the first man, the first husband, and that naked guy running across the south lawn. >> i'm a candidate for president of the united states of america. >> america needs a bold new vision. >> it's time for the country to make a decision. >> ladies and gentlemen, my father, donald j. trump. >> a billionaire vanity candidate taking the escalator to the white house. >> when donald trump announced his candidacy, jon stewart seemed over the moon. >> trump is the part of your brain that's like at 3:00 a.m. let's go take a [ bleep ] in the mailbox. >> i was the last correspondent hired by jon. >> hassan minhaj. >> i had learned so much from jon for the year and a half, two years i was there. then he called me to his office. he said i think it's that time for

>> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching.ids trick-or-treating. ever do this? and i had a revelation.

dan: here is a look at what is up ahead on jimmy kimmel live. jimmy: thank you. tonight's show could save your life. you are telling me aaron paul and your husband hang out together? >> yes. i'm trying to remember if we have been out, out. jimmy: right in the trump ♪ i see trees of green ♪ ♪ red roses too ♪ ♪ i see them bloom for me and you ♪ (music) ♪ so i think to myself ♪ ♪ oh what a wonderful world ♪ dan: deliberations resumed tomorrow in the kyle rittenhouse trial. durer's began deliberating today and asked for extra copies of the jury instructions. rittenhouse faces five felonies for shooting three people, killing two of the victims during protest unrest in kenosha, wisconsin last year. prosecutors say he provoked the shootings by pointing his ar-15's isle weapon at one of the victims. rittenhouse claimed he fired in self-defense after the men attacked him. >> today, i am announcing that i will not be a candidate for reelection to congress in 2022. it is time for me to come home. dan: seven term bay area congresswoman jackie speier is calling it a career in

where is jimmy hoffa?y answered ever since the powerful teamsters boss first disappeared in 1975. now the fbi may have broken some new ground in the search for him, but it has led them to a former landfill in new jersey. cnn's miguel marquez joins us with more. miguel, what do the fbi find at this landfill? >> so far, nothing. but they are looking and here we are again. it is worth remembering that jimmy hoffa was sort of a union celebrity when he was alive, part bernie sanders, part tony soprano. the idea that somebody so high profile could just disappear doesn't seem possible. >> this is another propaganda. >> jimmy hoffa, the infamous union boss. >> we're successful in getting from our members -- >> are we today closer to knowing what happened to him? >> this is one of the great mysteries of the modern criminal world. this is one of the great mysteries in mafia history. what happened to jimmy hoffa, where is jimmy hoffa buried all right the latest tantalizing possibility points to a former landfill unde

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i appreciate that. i'm the host of the show.ou for joining us on the most important holiday of all, cyber monday. also known as "every company you ever bought something from sends

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, i'm jimmy. for watching. thank you for joining us in southern california, where something pretty crazy happened not too far south of us on interstate 5 friday. an armored truck was full of money, somehow the door swung open while it was on the highway.

jimmy: clearly very messy.nk part of the problem, back in november when we had that extremely dovish fed meeting which was, for many people, a green light. we got real rates now, deeply negative. you started to see huge inflows again into things like the nasdaq. that was based on the fact that we were still debating whether or not the inclusion was transitory, but broadly speaking, growth was fine and covid was behind us. now we have this hard reversal on a day where a lot of people are still out, so i think the problem as well is we haven't got a lot of clarity. so up until the deck expiry a lot of people have been using to hedge, it is going to remain very volatile. so the volatility of making a few here is higher than it would have been, and you've only got six weeks left in which to hold the position before you have to restart everything again. so lots of different things. the inflows, being caught off guard, perhaps not paying the subject enough attention, plus the fact that everybody is out. two weeks fro

where is jimmy hoffa? lore. >> the fbi reportedly searched the site of a former landfill in new jersey last month looking for the body of union leader jimmy hoffa. so far no lovhoffa. three jimmys, but no hoffa. >> reporter: we know he was last seen outside the red fox restaurant in bloomfield township, michigan. >> there are confirmations that he was seen outside of the restaurant. >> reporter: hoffa helped build the teamsters union into a powerhouse. >> i appeal to the chair. that be taken out of the record and that nobody cast any aspersions on my loyalty to this country. >> reporter: and spent nearly five years in prison for conspiracy, fraud, and juror tampering, his 13-year sentence commuted in 1971 by president richard nixon. >> the guests tonight are jimmy hoffa, former head of the teamsters union -- >> reporter: when he got out, he still had celebrity status and was still trying to control the union. >> the media may me look as though i was one of the biggest goons that ever took plates in this co

little run-pass option from jimmy garoppolo. you love to see it shot the ball into sidelines and to play in front of all of his family or friends. he's a chicago kid and he put on a show 17 for 28 322 yards and those 2 rushing touchdowns forty-niners win this one 33 to 22. they snapped four-game losing streak after the games. we talked to jimmy g about how important this win was for the team. >> well, i thought we had a sound bite. that's all right. maybe we know it was a sign that the four-game skid lot of offense today over 400, 60 yards of offense for the forty-niners waking up and it's like jimmy g still got a job for now. get you know, he keep the haters often for another week, at least. all right. thanks a lot, jason. all right. we'll be back here for kron 4 news at 8 o'clock in prime time. thanks for joining. - [voiceover 1] the following is a paid presentation for neuroq a total brain support system designed to boost focus, reduce anxiety and stress. - [voiceover 2] and has been clinically shown to improve working memory