and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in beautiful, scenic hollywood, california. every time i hear one of these right wing guys in washington talking about hollywood being the home of the liberal elite, i look out my window and i see a man in the filthiest elmo costume imaginable surrounded by a bunch of children from west virginia on spring break, and i think "that's us all right!" glamor as far as the eye can see. in our nation's capital, there are conclusions being drawn about whether our crazy ex-president committed crimes while in office related to the attacks on january 6th. the house select committee looking into this says they have eough evidence to refer trump's crimes to the department of justice, but they're hesitant to do that because they don't want it to seem politically motivated. the committee is concerned that if attorney general merrick garland decides to prosecute, republicans will call the prosecution a partisan witch hunt. i

, i'm sorry. >> jimmy: i really can't >> no. >> jimmy: i promise you.can watch you in "made for love" on hbo max. i want to show everyone a clip here's cristin milioti in "made for love." take a look. >> hello am i a ghost or something. do you people not see me i know that you know who i am. i am hazel gogol, and i am [ bleep allowed to be down here now because i have -- because i have this. um, you. what do you -- what is your name >> well, william is that a severed finger >> good morning, everyone. >> good morning. >> did you need to - you need to tell them that i'm allowed to be down here. and that they can talk to me like i'm a normal [ bleep ] person because - because they're all looking at me like i'm the boogieman. >> of course right, right i'll correct this immediately. >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause how fun. cristin milioti, everybody season two of "made for love" premieres thursday on hbo max. we'll be right back with a a performance from soccer mommy. stick around [ cheers and applause stick around [ cheers and applause ♪ pti. what's th

: "jimmy falon." >> jimmy: "jimmy falon." >> steve: "jimmy falon."new guy?" >> jimmy: yeah, nbc is like, "yeah, you'll get there, one day, yeah. i was like, "don't take it off, don't change that, i gotta save that." so, anyway, thanks to everyone who worked on that show and everyone for watching us for all these years. i appreciate it. [ cheers and applause >> steve: fun times. here we are. 13 [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: guys, as i said earlier, yesterday was president biden's state of the union address. and after the speech i saw a a lot of politicians reacted with statements of their own let's take a look. it's time for "state of the union reactions. [ cheers and applause ♪ state of the unio reactions ♪ >> jimmy: all right, let's see what everyone had to say about biden's speech first up, we have senator richard blumenthal he said, "i love the speech, almost as much as i love folding my arms naturally. [ laughter ] up next we have senator mark kelly he said, "i wasn't there i sent jeff bezos in my place, and no one noticed." [ laughter ] >> ste

>> "jimmy kimmel!" >> jimmy: "jimmy fallon! >> "jimmy kimmel!" >> jimmy: "jimmy fallon!imble kimble! >> jimmy: "jimmy fa-fone." >> "johnny carson! >> jimmy: "carson daly!" >> "daily show." >> together: "i miss dave. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i miss dave too. >> every night should we call him >> jimmy: yeah, let's call him >> yeah. >> jimmy: yes. i actually have his phone number >> oh, perfect [ dial tone ] >> hi, you've reached dave letterman please don't leave a message, and if your name is jimmy, don't call here again. [ light laughter ] [ beep ] >> guess he doesn't want you calling him >> jimmy: i'm pretty sure he's talking about you calling him. >> it's your phone >> jimmy: well, he said "jimmy." the way he said jimmy was clearly -- >> yeah, i know, but that's -- >> jimmy: should we call him one more time? >> yeah, let's call him again. >> jimmy: 'cause maybe he's on the other line >> i'll call him from my phone >> jimmy: okay [ dial tone [ laughter ] >> hi, you've reached dave letterman please don't leave a message, and if your name is jimmy, or jimmy, don't call

okay, good >> push. >> jimmy: push >> yeah, push is good. >> jimmy: thank you. >> you my man. >> jimmyim? >> jim >> jimmy: yeah okay you can call me jim. all right, push. [ laughter ] welcome to allstate. where everyone saves when they bundle their home and auto insurance. isn't that right, frank? i saved 25%. booyah. you protected your casa? sure did. and the frank tank? you know it. and now you're relaxing. i'm working from home. sure you are. alright i see a lot of head nods. let's circle back tomorrow. you weren't kidding. save up to 25% when you bundle home and auto with allstate. click or call for a quote today. ♪ ♪ if you went on a road trip and you didn't stop for mcdonald's, that wasn't a road trip. it was just a really long drive. ♪ ♪ kenan! it was just a really lhey kenan! looking good. feeling good. i just found all these cars on autotrader. wow! now wait for the best part there microwave. a dealer is gonna deliver this car to our home. never leave home, never leave home! woo, it's here! there's one thing... i can't do from home. drive! someone stop him! kenan! catch ya lat

debbie bazza [ cheers and applause >> jimmy >> jimmy: debbie bazza >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: that was fallon oh, my god >> jimmy: thank you so much for coming on the show >> thank you and thank you for signing my book >> jimmy: oh, my god >> oh, oh. >> jimmy: signing your book? whatever you want, i'll do it. >> yes, that -- oh, my god >> jimmy: are you kidding me that snoring bit was fantastic i loved it >> thank you thank you. >> jimmy: give it up for debbie bazza, everybody. [ cheers and applause >> thank you come on! >> jimmy: stick around, we'll be right back with "puppy predictors." come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ in coffee fruit. new starbucks baya enine naturally found its energy, that's good. ♪ ♪ ♪ "how bizarre" by omc ♪ no annual fee on any discover card. ♪ ♪ who do you think you are, taking up space? making a scene, and indulging yourself? oh, right. you're you. tj maxx. where you can afford to be you to the maxx getting the incredible iphone 13 without t-mobile, makes as much sense (ready or not,) as playing hide-in-seek... (here i come...) in the deser

state tuned for jimmy kimmel, up >>> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- idris elba. lamorne morris. plus music from the regrettes, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. very nice. i appreciate it. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on a day when millions and millions of co-workers in america quietly resent the winner of their march madness office pool. we forgot to even do one this year. which i think makes us all winners. we didn't lose 10 bucks. did you watch the game last night? >> guillermo: yes, it was a great game. >> jimmy: you enjoyed it? >> guillermo: yes, i did. >> jimmy: the kansas jayhawks came back being down 15 points at halftime, incredible comeback. at halftime, their coach, bill self gathered the team together and told them to look deep inside to summon every bit of confidence and strength to use all the tools that got them this far. "if you win, i'll get you all chuck e. cheese." and it worked sclaf [ laughter ]

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host.hanks for watching. thank you for coming. oh, that's very nice. i appreciate that greatly. we have -- oh, there's a lot happening. i have many thoughts on many subjects, starting with president joe mama biden. did you know his middle name is mama? [ laughter ] named after his mother, that's right. the president is in brussels right now for an emergency summit with our nato allies. the leaders of the g7 nations put out a forceful statement warning russia not to use chemical weapons on ukraine. also posed for a series of awkward photographs, starting wth a group shot. i don't know, this seems unnecessary for an emergency meeting. but you can see there's biden. [ laughter ] with canadian prime minister justin trudeau. it's like a commercial for mentadent or something. [ laughter ] it's interesting to watch these leaders kind of hanging out to see who pairs off with who. [ laughter ] you see, that uncomfortable-looking individual is boris johnson. he's the prime minister of england. you ca

>> jimmy: i'm regal!ly is the theme of the show. we didn't even know about this but, i was thinking if tiktok was around when you guys were starting out, you would have destroyed. you would have ruled tiktok. >> i was going to say ruined it >> jimmy: no, no sorry, no. ruled it ruled it ruled. >> i think we would have figured out some fun things. we're not big dancers, but back in the day, me and my brothers would always be asked by our record label at the time, "hey, can you -- can you encourage people to go out there and listen to your music, go buy this album, blah, blah --" and we're like, "we just don't feel right being, like, a salesman on camera." so, we'd come up with fun videos and post them on our myspace or youtube >> jimmy: yeah, you were on myspace. >> myspace >> jimmy: here's what i love about -- i actually have a photo of you and your brothers on myspace >> oh, god [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can you just explain -- just explain what this is? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause >> so, that -- i wr

>> look at that, jimmy! >> the ball's in your court, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. well.'s weird. [ cheers and applause ] how do i explain it? here's the thing. i have a soft spot for mike lindell, i do. most of these guys are out there trying to make money, mike is working hard to lose all of his. [ laughter ] with this evidence he keeps claiming he's about to release of voter fraud. then nothing ever happens. i'd love to have him on the show, i can't because he's not vaccinated, he's an anti-vaxxer. we have a policy, you're not vaccinated, you can't come in our building. mike, here's what i will offer. you can come to l.a. you can park in our parking lot if you want. there's a dave and buster's across the street. [ laughter ] inside that dave and buster's is a claw machine. we will put you in that claw machine. [ laughter ] and i will interview safely from there. i know you're very focused on machines. and that way, you can get your message out, and maybe even take home a stuffed monkey. [ cheers and applause ] wouldn't that be fun? >> guillermo: that's a great idea! >>

true. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: w-2. >> double -- >> jimmy: w -- >> w >> jimmy: two. >> w -- true jimmy: you're like, "i haven't done my w-2 in years." [ laughter ] >> w-2 >> jimmy: "i pay somewhere for that." all right here we go >> there's no -- there - >> jimmy: all right, here we go, ready? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right, come on, this is it for the win. we already got 50 -- 50/50, this is good [ cheers and applause >> i didn't -- >> jimmy: we got this. we got this, bud >> okay. timothee chalamet. >> jimmy: timothee chalamet? ♪ [ cheers and applause >> ah! yes! [ cheers and applause [ talking over each other >> you got it the first, and i got it first - >> jimmy: i know, i got it the first time [ indiscernible we're such winners >> jimmy: "timothee chalamet!" amanda seyfried everybody! [ cheers and applause the series finale of "the dropout" airs this thursday on hulu i don't know how i got that. more "tonight show," after the break. stick around i don't know how i got that! [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ one-two-three uh, alright, uh!♪ ♪got to know how to pony♪ ♪like bony maronie♪ ♪

jimmy: no, chef disney.hter ] >> jimmy: you'd probably get a a lot of followers >> steve: yeah, i'll pretend i'm chef disney. they won't know the difference >> jimmy: i don't think this person is a chef at disney >> steve: really >> jimmy: i don't think you'd -- >> steve: you think disney would go, "don't." >> jimmy: yeah i think disney would say no and i think you probably also, as the chef from disney, you would probably be like, "you know, i've got enough going on." >> steve: yeah i'm busy [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't want to bring my work -- yeah, i don't want to bring my work to my - >> steve: i cook for about a a million people a day >> jimmy: yeah i want to go on twitter and just, like, say what i don't like about something or -- >> steve: complain about goofy [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah 'cause if you're chef disney, it'll get traced back to you you get busted - >> steve: they'll go, "hey, did you say this about goofy?" "yeah. [ light laughter ] "you're fired. >> jimmy: our last one here is fr

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for everything really. you've already done too much. that's very nice. i haope you had a great holiday weekend. we had a family gathering for at my cousin's house for easter. there was a hunt. we captured and killed around two dozen hard boiled eggs. you know, it's funny, i can never get my kids to pick up their toys. we do the song, clean up, clean up, everybody do their share. but hand them a basket and they will kill each other to fill it with eggs. remarkable. my daughter, jane, she's 7 now. she said -- she told my wife, "i know the easter bunny is a man in a costume, but my question is, is there just one who does everything, or are there like 12 for the state?" some kind of regional manager bunnies. my cousin sal's son, archie, had to wear the family bunny costume this year. we have a pretty good one. but a lot of bunny costumes aren't very good. some of them are scary. like this bunny, which is 80%

. >> jimmy: he's the master.lov to see the springtim that's true ♪ ♪ they don't know i lov to feel the sunshine rain too ♪ ♪ allergies are clearing up in no time at you ♪ ♪ easter's coming u i'll get some down tim who knew ♪ ♪ might do some sudoku ♪ [ cheers and applause >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: wow. >> steve: dang ♪ might do some sudoku ♪ >> steve: right. put a little mustard on that >> jimmy: yeah you ever do sudoku >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: yeah i kind of got out of it. >> steve: felt like a job. >> jimmy: yeah, it felt like another job. >> steve: yeah that's like the -- what was it, bum spelling bee or whatever >> jimmy: oh, yeah the beehive thing. >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: i did that too >> steve: and i go, that's why i like wordle. one thing, done. gone go home. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, but you added wordle and you took the other -- the other ones out. >> steve: yeah, i took the other ones away. i said, "forget it." >> jimmy: now you're still doing it >> steve: i'm still doing it >> jimmy: did you d

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you very much.hank you. that's very nice. hi, everybody, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching at home, and thank you for coming. that's very nice. what a day, i have to tell you, what a night and what a day. i have the weirdest life, i really do. once again, i find myself in the middle of a brouhaha. as i appear to have run afoul of probably the worst woman in american politics. marjorie taylor greene, the congress "person" from the 14th district of georgia is unhappy. she's specifically unhappy with me. she's had a tough couple of days. on the show tuesday night, mtg klan mom as we call her -- [ laughter ] earlier in the day called three of her fellow republicans "pro-pedophile" for supporting judge ketanji brown jackson's nomination to the supreme court. which is lovely, a lovely thing to say. so i made a joke, i said "where is will smith when you need him?" [ laughter ] and the audience laughed. [ cheers and applause ] and she saw it. and she decided she was going to get some

>> jimmy: yeah, yes. doing great you're back. you're back. >> back in the room. >> jimmy: here we go which of the following beasts is not featured in newt's book glumbumble, nogtail, niffler, goochengoggle, chizpurfle? >> you know, i think the camera man is laughing -- >> jimmy: i don't know which one he's laughing at, but yeah >> the goochengoggle - >> jimmy: that is correct. [ ding ] goochengoggle is not true. [ cheers and applause this guy know his stuff! you "know your role. eddie redmayne, everybody! check out "fantastic beasts: the secrets of dumbledore," in theaters april 6th we'll be right back with patricia arquette. come on back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪there are places♪ ♪i remember♪ ♪all my life♪ ♪though some have changed♪ ♪all these places have their moments♪ ♪with lovers and friends♪ ♪i still can recall,♪ ♪i know i'll often stop and think about them♪ ♪in my life, i love you more♪ liberty mutual customizes your car insurance so you only pay for whatchya... line? need. liberty biber

please welcome papa richy [ cheers and applause m♪ jimmy fallon >> thank you >> jimmy: i'm jimmy fallonething >> of course >> jimmy: yes. >> hello >> your hands are freezing >> my hands actually are freezing >> jimmy: and this is your -- this is your granddaughter >> yes, i'm katie. >> jimmy: katie, how are you jimmy. [ applause ] >> hi katie. >> it's katie's 22nd birthday. >> jimmy: it's katie's birthday happy birthday to you. >> happy birthday. >> jimmy: what a present this is, right here >> yes >> jimmy: now, i read something that said that one of your dreams is to dance with dua lipa >> yes, yes, of course [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can we make -- [ cheers and applause can we make that dream a a reality? ♪ all right, let's - [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about right there! >> this one's -- this one's for -- >> jimmy: my thanks to dua lipa, papa richy [ cheers and applause >> yes >> jimmy: his granddaughter katie! happy birthday stick around, we'll be right back with more "tonight show" after the break. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause >> we w

, you know -- rugged >> jimmy: the -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: i would totally do that >> it works. >> jimmyy -- i enjoy that >> a little trick. a little trick >> jimmy: i want to talk about "american buffalo. >> yeah, yeah, yeah, man thanks for having me >> jimmy: because this is -- oh, come on. you know, we love you. i don't know what i would do without sam rockwell man, i love you buddy, come on but this play was supposed to be - was is it two years ago? >> this is supposed to be two years ago. we're shut down at the beginning of lockdown, pandemic >> jimmy: is that tough? >> it was very tough it was kind of heartbreaking of course, we thought it would be over in two weeks or a month. and so, fishburne and i continued to run lines on facetime and zoom and occasionally neil the director would join and we just did it because we were losing our minds. >> jimmy: yeah, this will be over in a month. this will be over. >> yeah, and sometimes, even three times a week, we would run lines. but also, just to keep our sanity i think >> jimmy: just to entertain yourself >> exactly - >> jimmy: during t

fallon, everbody jimmy. >> jimmy: roots!you. >> jimmy: sure >> shawn: how have you been? good >> jimmy: yes, i've been good. thanks - >> shawn: you look great >> jimmy: thanks for asking. >> shawn: new suit >> jimmy: yes, brand new suit. i just got it for the show i got dressed up for you >> shawn: okay >> jimmy: yeah >> shawn: let me ask you a a question, right. >> jimmy: sure >> steve: like, follow or block. you got nile horn -- [ cheers and applause justin timberlake -- [ cheers and applause and shawn mendes [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: like, follow, block. >> shawn: yeah, like, follow, block. >> jimmy: nile - >> shawn: he's watching. >> jimmy: like >> shawn: like >> jimmy: like nile. >> shawn: not enough to follow him, right >> jimmy: block justin timberlake. [ cheers ] just because he's blocked me so, that's why [ laughter ] i feel like he's tired of hearing from me. and i will follow shawn mendes [ cheers and applause justin, call me, please. call me, justin. i like that. that's a good question >> shawn: yeah yeah,

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us on a big night here at abc. an emotional night. one of the most beloved shows in recent television history, "black-ish," packed up and left us. after eight seasons, the johnson family moved out of sherman oaks. the cast is here to talk about it. eight seasons is a big deal. most shows at abc don't last eight episodes. "black-ish" has been on so long, it was the subject of an angry tweet by a then private citizen named donald trump, who tweeted back in 2014, "how is abc television allowed to have a show entitled "black-ish?" can you imagine the furor of a show "whitish!" racism at highest level?" no, you being elected president was racism at the highest level. this was a tv show. but that's the kind of straight shooting common sense that got the man to the white house. in florida yesterday, a federal judge struck down the mask mandate in place for airplanes, trains, and buses. which is good news for the little b

>> jimmy: never, we love -- we love you >> such a friend >> jimmy: we love you. >> hey, my man >> jimmyer, go on academy award winner, love, you changed already. look, the afro's now slicked back [ laughter ] he changed he's -- now you speaking in eastern standard dialect [ laughter ] "i am a serious performer now. my name now is amir k. thompson don't call me by my government [ laughter ] it has dignity now black thought, you are -- tariq, you are no longer 'black thought,' you are 'negro contemplation.' >> jimmy: okay, hey -- changed it [ laughter ] i'm always happy to have you here, because i don't know what you're going to do or say. >> i don't know what the hell i'm going to do. >> jimmy: yeah, i -- but i'm happy that you're here, i'm happy that you're in new york city. we love you here >> thank you i love -- love being home. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: if -- you know, today, i was gonna ask you - >> although it's changed a lot like, i'll go to my old neighborhood i was in the -- i grew up in the hood, you know, on 16th street and 9th avenue >> jimmy: yeah >> and back in the da

up next, jimmy kimmel. have a good ni >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- rebel wilson, randy rainbow, and music from lawrence. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there, everyone. very nice. thank you. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching and for joining us on a special day in the united states of america. you know whose birthday it is today? the pride of slovenia. the matriarch of mar-a-lago. melania trump turned 52 today. [ laughter ] birthdays are tough for melania. she's made the same wish for the past twenty years and it never comes true. [ laughter ] the tears keep extinguishing the candles before she can blow them out. everybody knows that melania before she beed best started out as a model who was discovered by a photographer named jerko. this is one of the photos jerko took that launched her modeling career, which took her all way did new york, where she eventually married a much bigger jerko. [ laughter ] i don't know what kind of gift trump ga

we go >> jimmy: caro >> i like it >> jimmy: carro. no [ laughter ] when she is nueva -- >> dieciseis >> jimmy: dieciseis. she can drive a carro. unfortunately, caro can't drive a carro. >> exactly [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that track on here no, it's not on here but she -- you brought us an exclusive audio of her - how old? >> okay, so she was eight when she basically -- so my dad came to the studio. we had a whole mariachi setup there. and he freestyled. and then she came over and on this song "celia" that i have, we were like "caro --" like, it was like me, her and my producer ricky. and she just, like, freestyled the thing. >> jimmy: i hate to say it but it's actually ricky. >> exactly [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's okay, no big deal it's okay, it's fine >> oh my god, i'm so embarrassed. >> jimmy: he's not watching. but you brought this clip. do you want to hear how cute this is? listen to this take a listen. this is caro ♪ [ singing foreign language ] ♪ >> okay, so she said, "now i live in miami. now i am 8 years old ♪ i also have a

on jimmy kimmel, nicolas cag >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, nicolas cage, vanessa bayer, and music from noah cyrus, with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for watching, for joining us on a high holiday if ever there was one. it's 4/20. do you know the origin of 4/20? it's kind of interesting. in the '70s in san rafael, california, north of us here, a group of high school boys who called themselves "the waldos" because they would hang out and smoke next to a wall every day at 4:20. did that, somehow it caught on, spread all over. this is what the waldos look like now, gaze upon them. [ laughter ] those are the founding fathers of 4/20, ranging from most to least high. [ applause ] did you know this story, guillermo? >> guillermo: no, i have no idea. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yet you did celebrate today, yes? >> guillermo: yeah, i did. >> jimmy: you did, yeah. [ laughter ] >> i did it nor you

jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah >> questlove: what is the secret ingredient? >> jimmy: it was disgusting. yeah, it had a sourness to it that's why i said lemon. [ buzzer ] [ sad tuba ] lemon. >> sometimes love is sour. >> questlove: no - >> love goes bad >> jimmy: is this real can i have this? or is this like dog urine or something like that? [ laughter ] >> questlove: so, the answer was steak sauce. >> oh, i can smell it. you got to smell the hole. >> questlove: no, i'm good i'm good >> jimmy: steak sauce. all right. thanks for everything. [ cheers and applause check out "inside eats with rhett & link" airing sundays at 10:30 p.m. on the food network stick around, we have a performance from lauv after the break. ♪ getting the incredible iphone 13 -without t-mobile, -three... -makes as much sense -two... -as playing hide-in-seek... -one... ready or not, here i come... in the desert. ahhh. really guys? t-mobile has more 5g bars in more places. and now, when you switch, you can get iphone 13 on us, and one year of apple tv+ for free. you're not going to fit in that hole. don't look any furt

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in sunny, hot and sunny california. i'm tired. i have to admit, i'm tired. i got home late last night. i got home at 3:00 a.m. we were in washington this weekend presenting the mark twain prize to jon stewart. it was a lot of fun. but a lot of people there were worried i might get locked up being in the same town as the klan mom, marjorie taylor greene. who you may know reported am i to the capitol to the capitol police last week. i actually met some of the capitol police. i think i'm going to be okay. there was no a.p.b. put out. i was able to walk around freely in the city. she is about to get sued by her constituents in georgia. according to the 14th amendment, anyone who takes part in insurrection or rebellion is barred from holding office. so the green goblin had to testify under oath for almost four hours where she played even dumber than she actually is. [ laughter ] >> you think speaker

hosting "jimmy kimmel live!" [ cheers and applause >> jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. confused? me or you guys i have no idea guillermo, you know who i am, right? >> yeah, yeah, jimmy yeah, jimmy. [ laughter ] that's correct >> here's this intro here. >> jimmy: hey, good to see you how you doing? >> good morning. >> jimmy: nice to see you. >> this is just for you, the spit cup >> jimmy: oh, perfect. thank you very much. say it again >> it's for you to spit your gum in >> jimmy: spit into. yeah, okay, thank you. what have you heard? i don't spit in things spittoon was on my rider here's your cup to spit into [ laughter ] welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live," i'm jimmy fallon. let's just start the show. you guys want to start the show [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight -- we're already one spit into it let's see -- wow. whoa [ cheers and applause wow. oh, please oh, please really you see him enough why would you clap for him big deal >> how's that [ bleep ] hole in l.a. that your working in? [ laughter ] been in l.a. for, like, four hours, and already you are v

it, jimmy kimble.dependent cyber expert and you go click on that little dominion exposed. it's what's inside the machines. and you have your guy check that out, and jimmy, i will pay for your cyber guy, i will come back on your show. i will come back on your show and you can sit there and you can go, "mike, you were right." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: suddenly he's got it all planned out for us. i assume i'm being held at gunpoint in this fantasy you've conjured up? [ laughter ] i don't know. but i am interested in the you paying my cyber guy part of the deal. in fact, i happen to have my cyber guy here. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] cyber guy, did you hear that? >> yes. >> jimmy: what was your name again? >> sir, my name is nick. >> jimmy: nick charges $75,000 an hour, and he goes real slow. [ laughter ] how long do you think the job will take, nick? >> i can do it for 2, 3 million. >> jimmy: seems very reasonable to save democracy, right? >> yes, it is, sir. >> jimmy: okay, that's great, all right.

>> jimmy: no, no, no >> you can't practice for that, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, no i don't -- yeah.>> jimmy: "we're not friends anymore. >> i mean, we're talking, you know, we're going to -- >> jimmy: what a great game. what a great game that is. >> it's more frustrating than anything to be -- >> jimmy: really >> jimmy, my mind -- >> jimmy: everything is fantastic in it. >> i'm pretty sure i end every night more upset after i play "mario party" with friends than -- than happy >> jimmy: no, that is not true >> absolutely. >> jimmy: no, your sights -- >> you're stealing stars you're sucking coins, man. your -- your bod -- you know what i mean? it's awful [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're very young. i was going to ask you, do you -- do you ever, like, wait in line for, like, a console or a game like, because i had to do that >> my parents would not let me stay out for the "halo 3" release. for -- for, like, the xbox 360 "halo 3. tyler -- i was, like, 14 i was too young, obviously midnight release because remember -- you remember midnight releases >> jimmy: i -- of course i remember midnig

cook "hey, jimmy.sual. lhlh "i live in south dakota." well, south dakota is split between mountain time zone and central time zone. so it depends if you live in western or eastern south dakota let's move on to the next suggestion "i live in sioux falls." [ laughter ] all right. well, that's on the eastern -- that's in eastern south dakota so, everyone knows that. so, you would be in central time zone, which means right now it would be 10:55. i hope that helps. "actually, sorry, i just moved now i live in boise. [ laughter ] you know, that's -- that's enough we're done with this "no, we're not." [ laughter ] what does that mean? ♪ "i say when we're done." [ laughter ] this is my show. ♪ "not anymore now answer me. i live in boise. what time is it? i won't do it. ♪ "yes!" no ♪ "yes!" no ♪ "do it now!" all right. fine it's 9:55 in boise are you happy? "yes, thank you so much. i love the show. [ applause ] we're down to our last suggestion it is from cindy chan. "hey jimmy, there are only two things i love

jimmy kimmel >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, red hot chili peppers, and special guests! with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> oh! what? what? [ cheers and applause ] hi! [ cheers and applause ] hi. hi, i'm jimmy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] please, please, please, settle down, you're going to offend the other jimmy. [ laughter ] happy april fools' day, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] i switched places with jimmy kimmel. [ laughter ] although as far as surprises you've seen on abc this week, this one's a distant second. [ laughter ] it's really strange for me to be here. i feel like someone opened a late night multiverse, you know? [ laughter and applause ] what happened? well, i hope you're happy to see me. [ cheers and applause ] i'm happy to see you. guillermo, did you notice anything different about me? >> guillermo: you're the other jimmy. [ laughter ] >> thank you. you really feel the chemistry between us, it's amazing. [ laughter ] it's great to be -- it's goo

"what is jimmy kimmel doing on jimmy fallon's show?" "wtf...ere is jimmy kimmel he's not on channel 11. and where is jimmy fallon, he's on channel 2." "well either i'm -- up drunk or jimmy fallon is hosting 'jimmy kimmel live.' i know i had a few too many beerritas but this is ridiculous." "this jimmy fallon/kimmel april fools prank has made me realize it's very strange we have two incredibly prominent adult men in entertainment who go by 'jimmy,' not 'james.'" well, i can't argue with that. i have to tell you, it's a very different scene over at 30 rock, where they do "the tonight show." guillermo, you're not gonna believe this. over there, the security guards in new york actually do security. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: good for them, jimmy. i like t have fun. >> jimmy: that's right. there is so much history in that building too. we have none. over the johnny carson, david letterman, john belushi, they all worked in that building. or studio in l.a. was a disco and a heroin needle exchange. theirs is a four seasons. ours is a motel 6. let's put

it was that real. >> jimmy: really? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: well, yeah.r answering machine was broken because he definitely called. oh, that's something else. >> yeah. >> jimmy: then did you vote for him after that? >> um -- [ laughter ] yes. >> jimmy: you did, even though he didn't call? >> even though he didn't call. >> jimmy: he's probably going to call now. [ laughter ] well, it's great to see you. congratulations on all these great parts. >> thank you. >> jimmy: your great performances. this is called "the first lady." it premieres sunday night on showtime. gillian anderson, everybody! we'll be back with janelle james. with relapsing forms of ms... there's a lot to deal with. not just unpredictable relapses. all these other things too. it can all add up. kesimpta is a once-monthly at-home injection... that may help you put these rms challenges in their place. kesimpta was proven superior at reducing the rate of relapses, active lesions, and slowing disability progression vs aubagio. don't take kesimpta if you have hepatitis b, and tell your doctor if

uh, you're jimmy kimmel or fallon >> jimmy: my god >> fallon. >> jimmy: your microphone is on, yeah > two people weren't sure. and then -- and then, but i always say jimmy, jimmy -- but i never -- >> jimmy: you don't know the last name. >> no, i don't but you know what? i know now >> jimmy: yeah i got to say -- i had dinner with you last night. when you come into town, i'm lucky enough you invite me out -- you invite me out to dinnr >> i know, there's few people i like to eat with you're always hilarious, fun to go out with. chris rock came -- >> jimmy: yeah, me and chris rock is interesting to sit with each other, because chris came a little bit later. so, at first it was just me and you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and do you remember, one nice lady was leaving, and she goes, "david spade, oh, my god, you're the funniest person on earth." >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and i go - [ laughter ] >> she liked you too >> jimmy: and then she said something like, "you're okay too or something." [ laughter ] >> she goes, "and you're doing your thing." >> jimmy: i'm like, whatever and then chris comes

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in hollywood, california, where heads have finally stopped spinning from what happened at the oscars on sunday night. [ laughter ] not that we've stopped talking about it. it's all we talk about. i feel like if they discovered a live chicken on the moon, we would talk about it less. than we do this slap. [ laughter and applause ] it even came up at the white house press briefing today. >> i want to talk about will smith and chris rock, it is the biggest story right now. you saw the level of violence that was unleashed on chris rock. is that something that the white house condones, that type of violence, do you condemn it? and do you do anything to support comedians who have been attacked or other artists? thank you. >> so i don't have any official comment from the white house on the altercation, i know the president was not able to watch the oscars. >> jimmy: well what the hell is he doing all day, then? [ lau

and now, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. thank you. very nice. i am jimmy. i am the host of the show. and i thank you for watching us and for joining us here. that was a big day. it was a big day in our house today. our son, billy, turned 5 today. he is this many. i mention it because he is doing very well. people ask me about him a lot. he is healthy, in to spiderman and dinosaurs, he goes to school, buys bitcoin and drives an uber. all of the normal 5-year-old kid stuff. my wife and i will go online and buy stuff without telling each other and all of this stuff comes like an amazon avalanche. yesterday the doorbell rings. he knows the stuff is coming. he is looking to see what it is. who says a s -- he says is amaz god. mostly kids pray for toys. amazon does deliver on those prayers. but i think god would not force his angels to pee in water bottles at work. today is also queen elizabeth's birthday. don't get me wrong. i appreciate the enthusiasm. she turned 96 years old, which is a lot of cucumber sandwiches. mattel has unveiled a queen elizabeth barbie d

jimmy: i know we did. >> i just don't -- >> jimmy: okay, good not possible >> i don't think so. >> jimmysh >> i mean, we saw her in that episode and she looked very surprised. >> jimmy: uh-huh >> right >> jimmy: well, you don't want to look calm as the plane is crashing >> that's true that's true. it could have been a a performance. >> jimmy: she's not an actor >> but she seems genuinely shocked. but i don't know, again -- >> jimmy: she's on a plane that's going down with the soccer team. >> so she did a bad job or a a good job >> jimmy: it was the human reaction to cover up, but she knew, maybe, that she knew maybe it was going to go down? the whole thing is insane. all right. so you're saying no. >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: misty has been working under lottie and her henchmen and henchwomen this whole time >> yeah, that's interesting. i think that's possible, but i don't know >> jimmy: i feel like these are all -- >> you got me. >> jimmy: some things you have more confidence than others. >> yes, that's true. yeah some things seem more possible >> jimmy: juliette lewis' character, na

and now, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. hello, everybody. very nice. look at this. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. how many are traveling, spending your spring break here. thank you for joining us here in sunny los angeles, california. where dreams come true. especially if your dream involves being lunged at by a very dirty spider-man. did you have fun in the line? we'll be giving everyone tetanus shots on the way out. don't worry. everything is crazy. except us. did you see the clip of president biden getting hit by an unidentified falling substance last night? don't worry. i haven't. biden was in a barn in menlo, iowa, talking about inflation, when something landed on his shoulder. >> to build a fought that's made in america. that's that hyperboe. it is about being made in america. a lot of that has to do with this industry. >> jimmy: it seemed like a bird may have been responsible. but white house communications director said no, if you knew your way around a corn silo at all, you would know it was corn. just because it was corn, doesn't mean it

>> jimmy: yeah?xed, like no complaints. and i don't know, when i read the role i just saw it as kind of -- i don't know, i just saw him as this really bright and sunny and cheery kind of guy who just happens to be the head of a chechen crime mob. [ laughter ] just so happens, you know. >> jimmy: then once you get the part, did you do a ride-along with the chechen mob? >> no, i have not encountered chechen mobsters just yet, thankfully. >> jimmy: i assume there are chechen monsters? >> there definitely, you should youtube it. [ laughter ] or don't, it's absolutely terrifying. >> jimmy: oh, really? this is a tough mob? >> yeah, big-time. >> jimmy: this is not like the canadian mob? [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: no offense, of course. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then you're playing this character. do you do anything to get in the mind frame? >> i mean, yeah, i definitely like to, you know -- i like to listen to a lot of music. i'll definitely listen to, you know, huey lewis and the news. [ cheers ]

>> guillermo: no, not yet, jimmy. >> jimmy: my body is not prepared.here's a lot of activity outside our theater. the paparazzi is at defcon one. because the kardashian-jenners are here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] kris, kourtney, kim, khloe, kendall and keiko. is there a keiko? [ cheers ] the kardashians are here, of course, to catch us up on the ongoing conflict in ukraine. [ laughter ] and to talk about their new show on hulu. their old show was called "keeping up with the kardashians." the new one is just called "the kardashians." which is good, because i was having trouble keeping up. to be honest. [ laughter ] their old show was on e! for 20 seasons. which is nuts. [ cheers and applause ] ask anyone at a rave, that's too long to be on e!. [ laughter ] also with us tonight, future football, and party bus hall of famer, rob gronkowski. [ cheers and applause ] my plan, if all goes well, by the end the night -- who knows, maybe we'll have a second rob in the kardashian family. [ laughter ] khloe is single, right? maybe we'll have a khloe gronkows

>> yeah. >> jimmy: oh. >> many jokes. >> jimmy: jokes, right, yeah. like this. >> yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: one that you still haven't gotten, really, i guess. [ laughter and applause ] >> take a picture from right here. >> jimmy: are you a violinist? >> i'm a beginner. >> jimmy: you walk around with it? >> yes. >> jimmy: yes. >> there we go, a few more this way, great. this way. square this way. this way. >> can you play us something? >> play it -- oh -- >> this way, keep going. >> play a little something. >> play a little something? all right. we've got to make some jokes. >> i will, yeah. yeah, i'll make some jokes, absolutely. trust me. people will be laughing. [ laughter ] just try it. look in the camera, try to play. we're recording. >> look at me. great, great. ♪ look over here while you're playing. fabulous. thank you, keep going. ♪ >> jimmy: not bad. you keep practicing and it's going to be great. you know? ♪ very well done. yeah. that was good. that was good. >> so this is your -- how many years have you been on the tv show? >> jimmy: 19 year

i'm glad to be with amy and with jimmy. i'm going to convey all this information that i have to jimmy. i look forward to consulting with him on a regular basis. >> i think my role was more one of a sounding board for jimmy. he could explain the issues to me and in the process think them through. he knew i was interested in them because i had been all over the country telling people what he was going to do and i wanted to be sure he did it. i could go out into the country side and talk to people. the president can become very isolated. one reason is because they have such huge underwriting is they go out and can't get access to people. also, people tell the president what he wants to hear. i can get information about how the energy crisis was hurting people, problems with the elderly. i had one woman tell me that her house had been taken away because she had paid for it, but her husband had take an second mortgage on it. those kinds of things i could come home and bring to jimmy. then as he struggled with an issue, maybe som

so even before jimmy was inaugurated, after he was elected, i had to gather up the commission and jimmy announced that we were in less than a month. i had been working with equal rights amendment. i wanted to get that ratified. i had worked -- i think maybe my interest in problems of the elderly came in the campaign because when you're campaigning, people in a community will take you where there are crowds of people. and they always take you to a golden age club or home because a lot of people there. and most of the time they were democrats. and they would want me to go visit them. i was really interested in those. i worked on immunization. i had a good immunization program in georgia. so i knew why -- i had an agenda when i got to the white house. i knew what i wanted to do. i always -- i was frustrated because i couldn't always get the kind of publicity wanted to about my issues. in fact, i announced my mental health task force, the president's commission on mental health and we had a big ceremony, invited people from all over the country that were interested in mental health. and i w

i thought the battle of we had a lot of input from people jimmy would jimmy consulted a lot of people about who would be best with certain positions and then we would have a nato list and then would narrow it down. i told him what i thought about people out, which i always did with issues and so forth. i always told him he always knew how i felt. sometimes you took my advice and sometimes he made the decision. were you? do you think that your voice was one he tended to listen to. with greater that had greater weight than perhaps some of his other advisors. just because sometimes a spouse. is not going to necessarily have the kind of outside agenda that an employee or an appointee might someday have i don't know whether on some things that i knew about like mental health and women's issues and problems of the elderly and those kinds of things. he always listened to what i had to say, but there were so many issues that i didn't know about he could talk to me. for instance. we were trying to make latin america nuclear free zone so he talked to me all about the whole issue. of i think the