♪ ♪ >> jimmy: okay, really >> no. >> jimmy: okay, wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is really good, bys. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tom cruise is -- he's not in that one. >> yeah, yeah, it's very good. >> jimmy: and in these films, you do your fight scenes - >> yes >> jimmy: with very like, you have the sorcerer-type precise moves. >> gestures. >> jimmy: gestures and i'm sure you've been trained to do these. >> endlessly >> jimmy: yeah >> it's hard work. yeah >> jimmy: but that wasn't my question that wasn't my question. >> what was your question? sorry. is it hard work? >> jimmy: is it hard work? >> it is >> jimmy: no, but i mean, i thought maybe you could teach me a move or two tonight if you could show me how -- >> i the best way to do this, probably, because this is the sixth time i played him. so, you know, you get some perks after a while. and one of them actually is that i don't do the moves any more. [ laughter ] in this film, sam raimi does them so what you need to do is you need to be me, right you just stand up. >> jimmy: yeah >> and just put your hands behind your back a little

well, do you have children, jimmy? >> jimmy: yes. from the house. [ laughter ] toys are banned from the house, only books a child's play set to me seems like a swing set or something. that's a play set. >> no. i mean like a toy almost something that you go oy, oy you know [ laughter ] >> jimmy: toy and a painting of a demogorgon, "e.t." too many details i'm going to say millie bobby brown, you lie. >> ew! >> jimmy: oh, my god are you kidding me [ cheers and applause [ sad tuba ] come on. you're good. you know how to act. come on, what am i talking about? why mess with the best why mess with the best i'm sorry. of course you're going to be a a good actor which one, guys? [ audience yelling ] >> i'm going to put -- my "e.t." for later i'm going to put it this way i'm here with you. >> jimmy: all right. here we go phew ♪ mm-hmm mm-hmm [ laughter ] [ light laughter ] >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. [ laughter ] >> go! tell me. >> jimmy: it is -- it's like a a child's play set [ laughter ] it is a bowl full of chef boyardee. >> what

and we're going to name it jimmy. >> jimmy: you're going to name it jimmy >> yeah. >> jimmy: is thatare a -- >> we're going to find some one from the roots >> jimmy: all right. no problem >> yeah, no, very blessed. we're very happy we've got a a baby coming this summer which is great that'll be baby three for me >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> and yeah, it's a big summer >> jimmy: you've got a big family now that's awesome >> yeah. yeah, father of three. >> jimmy: gosh how old -- now how old do you have - >> jack is nine. lila -- we were talking backstage. she's about a year and a half. 20 months. >> jimmy: 20 months. >> and jimmy fallon is - [ laughter ] you know >> jimmy: yeah you're a talented actor. you're a talented musician as well i know from years that i've known you. we've done bits together we've sang together. >> yeah, that's true yeah >> jimmy: but you were telling me you were playing your guitar for you -- >> yeah, i've got a -- my son is 9 and i like to play guitar when i get home and i was playing this song, and -- it's this keith urban song "country comfort. and one of the

and now -- jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, there. wow.i, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. i've returned. i'm back. i've returned from the dead. i'm alive. [ laughter ] that's very nice. i appreciate it. i had, as you probably heard, i had covid three weeks ago. i tested positive. three weeks ago, i was positive for a week. then i was negative for a week between that. and then i was positive for another week. what i'm saying is i'm weak, i think. [ laughter ] i wasn't very sick either time. fortunately, i had two boosters. and a whole bottle of flintstones vitamins. [ laughter ] but it was a reality check. once i tested negative, i was like, oh, i'm indestructible. i can do anything. i went to an indoor restaurant, which is something i haven't done in a long time. not only was i not wearing a mask, i didn't have a shirt on! [ laughter ] i was just going crazy. then i go online after i tested and i read this headline. "jimmy kimmel tests positive -- for hiv again." [ laughter ] again? i got many, many, many e-mails again? [ l

oh, god. >> jimmy: is it -- >> wait. >> jimmy: all right. that and this is here does that feel right >> nothing feels right [ laughter ] okay >> jimmy: come on, bud we got this. now, what is it? it's a thing >> it's a thing. >> jimmy: thing is the worst subject. >> yeah, yeah. okay, ready? >> jimmy: yep. oh ark. noah's ark a boat >> oh, no. >> jimmy: oh, no oh, no someone's drowning someone's drowning someone fell off the boat. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: help, help me. help do something there's two people oh, my god it's jack. it's the titanic [ dinging [ cheers and applause ♪ >> yes >> jimmy: wow! how are we getting this? >> this is -- what was that? the -- >> jimmy: yeah >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: okay look at that >> your turn >> jimmy: titanic. >> that is - [ cheers and applause banana split and titanic >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. titanic. [ cheers ] which one you going with >> tariq: go five, go five, go five, go five. >> five? [ audience shouting [ laughter ] >> no. >> it's a generational thing >> jimmy: you look bumme

1,500 sketches >> 1,500 >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. it seems like a lot. >> jimmy: it does.hat day like somebody posted like, "kenan thompson is only 3 sketches away from 1,500." i was like, "really? like, that's crazy i missed all 1,490 -- i wasn't counting." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, no one was counting yeah, but that's wild. >> but yeah, and then i saw that, you know, i had four sketches that day. and then at the dress rehearsal they were all in, so, i was like, "oh, snap, i'm going to, like, do this tonight, basically. so i had that moment of like, "that's pretty cool. and then after i -- i didn't think anybody was going to be, like, waiting to celebrate it necessarily but -- >> jimmy: yeah, of course. >> but, like, you know, our tender staff and crew were back there with, like, a card and they were all clapping and it was - >> jimmy: "snl"? >> it was a nice moment. >> jimmy: nah, come on, buddy, that's great i'm so happy for you [ cheers and applause couldn't happen to a better guy. you know -- do you know what to do now in a sketch, like, when -- when you have a lin

>> not match >> jimmy: not match. >> okay. >> jimmy: ready?is game, jimmy. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: fantastic. all right, 2-2 >> all right, that's pretty good >> jimmy: that's not bad [ cheers and applause >> time out. that's not -- you see what's up >> jimmy: well, i should do a shot i forgot, i have to do this. >> wait -- oh, wait. we both get to do it >> jimmy: oh, we tied. >> hey, all right. >> jimmy: good to see you, bud >> yeah, we did -- [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: woo-hoo. woof woof. all right, here we go bud. >> you got it jimmy. >> jimmy: next round, it's up to you, bud. all right, here we go. you do it. ♪ ♪ [ laughter ] >> there it is ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: dude -- you drink. oh, sorry. [ buzzer ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to have to do a drink >> i was dancing i was -- >> jimmy: yeah, i was into the groove right there did i get the lead there yeah, i think -- i won that one. so, you take the shot, bud >> oh, i forgot to sip, too. >> jimmy: yeah, you forgot the sip and the shot there you go that's for you, bud. >> you're go

>> look at that, jimmy! >> the ball's in your court, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. well.'s weird. [ cheers and applause ] how do i explain it? here's the thing. i have a soft spot for mike lindell, i do. most of these guys are out there trying to make money, mike is working hard to lose all of his. [ laughter ] with this evidence he keeps claiming he's about to release of voter fraud. then nothing ever happens. i'd love to have him on the show, i can't because he's not vaccinated, he's an anti-vaxxer. we have a policy, you're not vaccinated, you can't come in our building. mike, here's what i will offer. you can come to l.a. you can park in our parking lot if you want. there's a dave and buster's across the street. [ laughter ] inside that dave and buster's is a claw machine. we will put you in that claw machine. [ laughter ] and i will interview safely from there. i know you're very focused on machines. and that way, you can get your message out, and maybe even take home a stuffed monkey. [ cheers and applause ] wouldn't that be fun? >> guillermo: that's a great idea! >>

>> i'm going to double up on the jimmy and say jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy kimmel. [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: nowthat is -- that's outrageous! [ laughter ] those people have no idea what kind of moves i have. it got worse from there. >> that's a hard one. 5? >> pat sajak. >> 3? >> alex trebek! >> jimmy: hold on a minute, alex trebek passed away 18 months ago, my moves aren't as good as a deceased game show host? pat sajak? no offense, pat's only move is this, spinning the wheel. [ laughter ] i've never been so insulted in my whole life. in new york yesterday, the end of an era, really. the last pay phone in manhattan was carried into space. [ laughter ] pay phones are weird. this is something we're going to have to explain to our kids. it's why superman now has to change clothes in the middle of the street. [ laughter ] there are no more pay phones. i guess the city started getting rid of them in 2015. they replaced them with wi-fi hot spots, which is an upgrade. pay phones were disgusting. it's like they removed all the rats and replaced them with golden retrievers. [ laughter ] it's an upgrade.

hello. >> hi. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> diana >> jimmy: hi, diana.hocolate >> jimmy: she loves chocolate, huh? >> yes >> jimmy: and what are you actually planning to get your mom. >> flowers >> jimmy: there you go [ laughter ] there you go she would want chocolate, but you're going to get her flowers. all right, roots, we have diana. and if they can get their mom anything in the world, it would be chocolate, of course. and that's why they're planning on getting her flowers for this next one, everyone's talking about the new "barbie" movie. i saw the picture of margot robbie is playing barbie can we do something with that "barbie girl" -- that "barbie girl" energy. >> tariq: oh, god. that song? ♪ ♪ diana is her name she won't be the same ♪ ♪ though after sunday it's your mum's day ♪ ♪ what you're getting her is not what she deserves ♪ ♪ a chocolate fun day because you're getting her flowers ♪ ♪ you can do chocolat getting her flowers ♪ ♪ you can do chocolat getting her flowers ♪ ♪ you can do chocolate ♪ >> tariq: you should go with the chocolate. [ ch

jimmy: you know >> steve: no >> jimmy: dolby atmos?my: you're talking about gold monster cables. >> steve: i wouldn't do any other kind what kind would you do >> jimmy: wait, what do you think? i'm a total idiot? >> steve: i'm gonna get the gold i saw you when you come in, and i said, "this guy's not a maroon he's going to get the gold." >> jimmy: and i went in and i bought gold with a little maroon circle around it, so i know which one's left and which one's right speaker. >> steve: you play dvd >> jimmy: of course, i go home, i put all my dvds on it. that's all i do. got a great dvd collection >> steve: six sound bar setup. what i did is i took my living room, got a sledge hammer, blew out the ceiling. >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: now i don't have a a bedroom up there speakers come down so, it feels like i've been in an earthquake every time i turn the tv on. >> jimmy: and also it feels like you live in danger of something falling on you >> steve: i did get hit very badly by a piece of beam >> jimmy: i could not tell you seem exactly the

vecna >> jimmy: okay >> but - >> jimmy: can i ask a question >> yes >> jimmy: is this cgi, vecna, orat i was, like, looking at it, going, "oh - because i knew you had a lot of - >> so, yeah. it's all practical like, they had someone there >> jimmy: wow, fantastic >> like, nine hours of prosthetics or something >> jimmy: is it frightening to act opposite this thing? >> yeah, but then -- in the moment, yes. but then in between takes, he'd be, like, eating a chick-fil-a sandwich so - [ laughter ] it was -- kind of took the magic away yeah >> jimmy: vecna wants a spicy -- spicy chicken sandwich >> right >> jimmy: yeah, get vecna -- and then the internet is, kind of, going crazy about -- no one knows what to say about this, but this is just on the internet >> i'm so close to the finish line like, i have not spoiled anything >> jimmy: "so don't mess -- jimmy fallon, don't mess this up for me. i won't. >> i'm sprinting to the finish >> jimmy: i won't -- i won't mess this up for you but are you -- >> i appear to be -- >> jimmy: okay don't say anything all right, don't >> -- in the air >> jim

>> jimmy: yep. >> oh! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: come on, man can we see that again?yeah, that was fantastic. we make a good team. i want to talk about "dancing with myself. >> yes >> jimmy: this is a new show on nbc. we're psyched here at the network, obviously >> i know you had shakira here >> jimmy: that's right, shakira. [ cheers and applause yeah, she can dance. >> she can dance >> jimmy: she -- she can dance would you say that you're a pretty good dancer >> no. [ light laughter ] no >> jimmy: really >> so i think the -- the biggest misconception about the jonas brothers, if i had to name one - >> jimmy: yeah >> that people think, because we're a pop group of guys, kind of boy band category, that we dance. but we don't especially kevin he can't dance for [ bleep ] [ light laughter ] no, i'm playing. >> jimmy: well, i guess you're always playing the guitar. >> playing the guitar. but i did some theater and stuff. so, i do have some experience. so, the thing i was drawn to about this show, which i think is the brilliant thing about the idea that shakira had, was th

>> jimmy: ohh!] choosing t-mobile is like paying for this... ...but getting that! ♪ more, more, more ♪ and so much more. ♪ more, more, more ♪ more 5g bars in more places. more savings so your family saves 20% versus the other guys! and now, for a limited time there are even more ways to save at t-mobile... get up to a thousand dollars when you switch your whole family on our magenta max plan. only two things are forever: love and liberty mutual customizing your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. if anyone objects to this marriage... (emu squawks) kevin, no! not today. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty. ♪ buy one favorite like a big mac and get another for just a buck right now at mcdonald's. ♪ it's a lovely day today ♪ and get another for just a ♪ so whatever you've got to do ♪ ♪ you've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true ♪ [ chuckling ] ♪ and i hope whatever you've got to do ♪ ♪ is something that... ♪ [ music stops ] [ beeping ] cars built with sa

jimmy john's.use i know she now stars in the new hbo max series "the staircase. the first three episodes are streaming now. please welcome sophie turner [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic >> you look fantastic, as always >> jimmy: i -- i love seeing you. oh, my gosh, it's been -- it's been three years almost to the day. >> almost to the day >> jimmy: yeah, and a lot of things have happened congratulations. >> what are you talking about? >> jimmy: oh, yeah what am i talking about? you have another baby on the way. >> i do. i do [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: hey, baby. hi baby! you have the -- it's the three year anniversary coming up, you and joe jonas? >> three year marriage anniversary. >> jimmy: wow. >> i think it's leather. >> jimmy: is that -- three years is leather >> i think so, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, interesting. what -- do you have any thoughts >> not a clue. >> jimmy: no, yeah a pair of shoes. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, maybe a pair of shoes >> jimmy: maybe, yeah. >>

jimmy: lock it.at ballot box >> no one can see what we just did. >> jimmy: now let's reveal what's in the box. take it back out yeah, take the cage off. [ laughter ] take the cage off. sorry about that apologize. we went too hard we went too hard yeah, it just opens. yeah, all right. here we go >> tariq: okay [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: the winner is. the weiner is -- >> number one! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: congrats to "the tonight show hot dog off" champion me you are the best judges. thanks again to our very special judges we'll be right back everybody! come back, more tonight show [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: from your house. >> this is from my house my dad had one and when i was in baltimore i was like -- i think i had like six snowballs one night. i was like, "i think i need to get one of these for my apartment. >> jimmy: yeah >> so i have one >> jimmy: before you had kids. >> this is -- no, this is yesterday. ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ tú tienes el toque... now go and deja tu huella. it's a cheetos t

, jimmy, jimmy. are nowhere near ready for it. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay, you heard the lady. summer is cancelled, everyone. go home. >> no, not yet. listen. i'm going to show you how to summer grown-up edition. okay? step one, no more boring meetings! >> jimmy: okay. >> and step two, actually relax. >> jimmy: wow. why am i the only one dressed like a nerd? [ laughter ] thank you for destroying our conference room, kaley. >> no problem. >> guys! yeah! [ cheers and applause ] check it, this just in. summer fun up 2 million percent! [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! >> lou: smirnoff wants you to enjoy being a grownup. make sure you enjoy your summer. give me one of your mcnuggets... si quieres un mcnugget, just ask for it. ay... did i say that or did i think it? buy one favorite, like a big mac, and get another for just a buck, at mcdonald's. ♪♪ ♪♪ tú tienes el toque... now go and deja tu huella. it's a cheetos thing. one day, you might wake up and think... time for a change. when your frien

>> jimmy: koala! >> jimmy: koala, okay, good.taurant >> chipotle, i used to work there. >> jimmy: chipotle >> yeah. >> jimmy: noun >> baby! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, baby, okay >> baby. >> jimmy: a kitchen appliance. >> spatula [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that, you're -- you're so confident on spatula [ indiscernible that was the one, you're like, "oh, no, no, yeah. spatula, of course." spatula. a plural noun. [ laughter ] >> fungi [ laughter and applause right? >> jimmy: wow. that's next level. that's next -- that's next level. fungi. uh, another animal >> platypus. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: platypus one of the seven dwarves >> oh, i never watched that movie. >> sleepy! >> smokey? what smokey [ laughter ] what >> jimmy: smokey >> sleepy, sleepy! >> jimmy: no, no, i'm writing down smokey, because - [ laughter ] celebrity name [ indiscernible audience suggestions >> uh, uh, benedict cumberbatch [ laughter ] >> jimmy: benedict cumberbatch [ light laughter ] name me a number >> just "eleven -- eleven -- >> jimmy: "eleven tou

>> jimmy: yeah >> i don't know. >> jimmy: wow! applause the people love you for it you won an emmy for this you're the biggest star in the world. i mean, it is the biggest following -- it's like a cult following at this point. >> it's wild >> jimmy: it is, like, insane. but you get mistaken for other people, for other celebrities. and i don't think that's fair. but how? >> yeah, i'm -- i feel like i'm constantly disappointing people, because you guys heard of anne murray >> jimmy: of course. >> like, singer, songwriter extraordinaire >> jimmy: she's amazing. >> and um, so i'm constantly being like, "no, annie murphy. not anne murray. and people's faces just fall >> jimmy: "yeah, but you did the show from canada, so you must be anne murray. and you go, "no, i'm not." >> "no, i'm really not." >> jimmy: no >> "and i won't sing for you." and, um -- [ light laughter ] but my favorite one that started happening more recently - [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i have -- you know, i have a picture of the person that you get - 'cause you have

and now, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thanks. very nice. i'm alive. i lived. i survived covid. i was out for last week. hopefully you noticed. i was out for last week. i tested positive for covid on monday morning a week ago. and by friday afternoon the virus just took a look around my body and said "yech, we're getting out of here." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i feel pretty good. i had it easy. let me tell you. i drank so much bleach, my teeth are whiter than a fundraiser at mar-a-lago. [ laughter ] [ applause ] look at that. the whole family is fine. i had it pretty easy. i was tired, i had a little bit of a headache, but those are also the symptoms of having children. [ laughter ] so it may have been pre-existing conditions. i don't know. but i will say i had a lot of time to think. i feel like i deserved covid. i was so -- [ audience moaning ] i do. i did. i was obnoxiously pleased with myself that i hadn't gotten it yet. [ laughter ] and every time i would meet somebody who had it i w

right now jimmy kimmel >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, zac efron, alfonso ribeiro, and music from parquet courts. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, thank you, thank you, thank you. oh, that's very nice. i appreciate that. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for coming, thanks for watching. i want to give a special shout-out, as the young people say nowadays, to those of you breast feeding your kids as you watch the show. a lot of women tell me they watch the show while they're up late feeding their children, which is very intimate. a mother, her child, and me looking at them in the dark. [ laughter ] and so this story i think is of particular interest to you. there is a nationwide shortage of baby formula. part of the reason is because of the supply chain issues. part is because of a recall. and a lot of the shortage, the bulk of it, in fact, is because of this kid. [ laughter ] hogging it all up for himself. authorities are warning parents now, and this is serio

>> hi, jimmy [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank -- short -- short, but sweet >> steve: yeah >> jimmy: yeahick thank you for talking with us, patrick. is that the 300-year-old violin >> it is i'm actually taking it to a studio to get photographed for the auction. now, usually, we use high end couriers but for something special as this, i prefer to - [ car crash >> jimmy: oh, my god oh, my god pat -- patrick patrick. pat -- patrick. patrick, are you okay? >> tariq: is he okay >> yeah, i'm okay. but i just -- i got to check - [ car thump >> jimmy: no, no, no, no oh patrick, oh, patrick, maybe you should get out of the street oh, gosh i had hoped -- [ laughter and applause oh, man. you know - >> steve: hope the violin's okay >> jimmy: i just hope the violin's all right yeah [ laughter ] well, guys, this is crazy. i read that nasa has opened an investigation after an astronaut was floating outside the international space station, and his helmet started filling up with water. yeah, they knew something was wrong when the astronaut was like, "houston, we have a problem. [ laughter ] guys, i -- i s

>> jimmy: sure >> like, i felt bullied in a a way. >> jimmy: yeah >> but - >> jimmy: did you almost thinkity as a singer and they -- they were -- they said -- especially my dad, always said that i -- that i didn't have to change my vibrato. i have to protect that vibrato and never ever change it, because it was -- it was -- he always said that a voice without vibrato is not worth it it's not a voice, you know and so, i kept my vibrato. and that's kind of my signature. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. my goat -- >> jimmy: thanks mom and dad [ cheers and applause >> my goat signature - >> jimmy: your goat signature, yeah i know in new york, you were recently at a mets game and cheering on the mets and i was like, "oh, yeah, i wonder how you do cheer at a a game," because you get very excited when you're cheering for your sons, for your boys i've seen -- >> i do. >> jimmy: i mean, i've seen video. >> i get carried away. >> jimmy: you are one of those people [ laughter ] >> one of those moms >> jimmy: yeah, you're one - >> annoying moms >> jimmy: yeah, you just like -- and you scream >> yeah. yeah >>

. >> jimmy: stuyvesant you made - >> stuyvesant. >> jimmy: stuyvesant >> yeah. >> jimmy: stuy-town?just silent while i was on the phone >> jimmy: stuyvesant >> and they didn't correct me. and then they all just laughed >> jimmy: you could jack the prices up if you lived - [ laughter ] >> i know. in stuy-town stuyvesant town. >> jimmy: stuyvesant town? [ laughter ] it sounds so french. it's so cool >> yeah. >> jimmy: we might -- they didn't like that at all? it didn't take off >> no, it's just a voice mail and i was just made fun of after. >> jimmy: stuyvesant, i love that i'm always going to call it that from now on i remember learning what soho was. i was like, "oh, soho, that's so cool. and it just means -- >> south of houston. yeah, everything dumbo, every -- it's all - >> jimmy: yeah, i didn't know what any of that stuff meant >> which is cool >> jimmy: yes. >> there is a coolness >> jimmy: we made it cool. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah nomad. >> yeah. >> jimmy: north of madison >> sure. >> jimmy: yeah >> i think i just learned that >> jimmy: oh, is that right? >> sure. >> jimmy: all

>> jimmy: i'm -- i'm sorry, tariq. i'm sure you'll figure something out for dinner >> tariq: dude, whatever i'll just whip up something in my insignia air fryer i just got at best buy. >> best buy is recalling hundreds of thousands of popular air fryers there have been more than 100 reports of the insignia air fryer catching on fire, burning someone or melting >> tariq: fine i'll just eat beef jerky >> jimmy: tariq, what are you -- what are you talking about? >> i bought nearly 5,000 pounds of tennessee brown bag jerky last month >> we are following a recall on nearly 5,000 pounds of beef jerky. [ laughter and applause it is for tennessee brown bag jerky. >> tariq: i'm over it! i'm just going to go home and lie on my mattress without checking it. >> in today's recall alert, you may want to check your mattress before lying on it [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh >> that's it i'm so worked up that, honestly, i might explode, jimmy. it's a good thing i took my blood pressure medications >> jimmy: yeah, it is a good thing. what ki

: jimmy buffett, we love you thank you so much for coming on >> jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: i know, jimmy got the voice. >> i know, that was like angelic kind of. >> jimmy: yeah, take that on tour you were saying backstage, i go, "thanks for doing the bit," and you go, "yeah, well, i sang 'margaritaville' for the first time on the "tonight show. >> that's right. >> jimmy: with johnny carson >> yeah, 41 years ago. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: 41 years i have a photo of it >> oh, god >> jimmy: here's a picture of you and johnny, right there. [ applause ] >> oh, that mustache, no wonder it went. >> jimmy: look at that mustache i think you look like a stud come on, bud >> no, that's a little porn-looking mustache. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, no >> no, i never -- no >> jimmy: 41 years ago this song has stood the test of time >> it has. >> jimmy: do you remember going on "carson"? >> oh, yes yes. >> jimmy: what was it -- >> it was a transitional time between like -- most of the acts before, there were vegas acts, and people johnny knew or liked. and i guess the network probably was pushing ro

>> guillermo: no, no, jimmy. not at all. >> jimmy: just marijuana? >> guillermo: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: twitch is an app that has live videos, mostly of people watching other people play video games. but they also have more traditional programming, like this cooking in a minidress show. [ coughing ] [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. [ fire alarm sounding ] oh, oh! i don't know what to do, guys, i don't know what to do! help, help, help, help, help! help, help! i don't know what to do, you guys! i don't know what to do! [ applause ] >> jimmy: what you do is call doordash and never cook anything again! [ laughter ] i do that almost every weekend. another popular app is grindr, [ cheers ] okay. the lgbtq plus dating app, which announced this week it's going public. it didn't announce, the people that work there announced it's going public. now this is the app i wish elon musk would buy. when a business goes public, it means they're selling stock in their company, and for most straight people grindr is a bit of a mystery. to shed light on how it wor

>> no. >> jimmy: no?teresting. >> no, i don't like to be peed on either. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i know you love big band music, standards, crooners of the past. did you like rock music when you were a kid? or did you just skip right to mel torme? >> it was mostly -- i was big into, like -- i was a big film score nerd. john williams, gary goldsmith, james horner, i loved those scores. i had a brief period where i would listen to top 40, like the rick astley era. >> jimmy: uh-huh, sure. >> you know, the billy ocean era. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. "get out of my dreams and into my car." >> that's right. [ laughter ] that's a tough opening to that song. it's literally spoken. "hey, you, get into my car." [ laughter ] all right! i don't know what's happening here! >> jimmy: yeah, it's -- the title is very -- it's one of the weirder. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the least commented on songs of the '80s. >> i know. great melody. >> jimmy: get out of my dreams and into my car. >> right, right, right. i don

and now -- jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi there. wow. hi, everybody. jimmy, i'm the host of the show. i've returned. i'm back. i've returned from the dead. i'm alive. that's very nice. i pr appreciate it. as you probably heard, i had covid three weeks ago. i tested positive, i was positive for a week. then i was negative for a week. and then i was positive for another week. what i'm saying is i'm weak, i think. i wasn't very sick either time. fortunately, i had two boosters. and a whole bottle of flintstones vitamins. but it was a reality check. once i tested negative, i was like, oh, i'm indestructible. i went to an indoor restaurant -- not only was i not wearing a mask, i didn't even have a shirt on! and then i go online, and read, "jimmy kimmel tests positive -- for hiv again." again? i got many, many, many e-mails about that. again in you'd think i would have heard about it the first time. that's the kind of thing they call you about, right? i tested positive for covid while i was in new york. so i had to stay there until i was negative. so when i

>> jimmy: what is a sunny? >> chuck us me sunnies? >> jimmy: yeah.d what you're saying. [ laughter ] all of a sudden i'm on their side. what is that? what does that mean? >> "throw me my sunglasses." >> jimmy: your sunglasses are sunnies? i've never heard that before. >> you haven't heard that one? >> jimmy: no. have we heard of that? [ audience responds ] now we've started a fight in the audience. [ laughter ] i wanted to mention this. i think this is kind of crazy. first of all, it's the 20-year anniversary of "star wars episode 2: attack of the clones." you were in this movie. there you are right there. [ cheers and applause ] with natalie portman and jar jar binks. is he a cool guy? >> what happened to this guy? >> jimmy: well, he got poked in the eye, i guess, i don't know. [ laughter ] do you remember -- what do you remember about making this movie? >> well, it was -- it was amazing. it was shot in australia. it was many years ago. i look so serious, don't i? >> jimmy: well, sure, you were in "star wars," yeah. >> very dramatic. and it was like

jimmy, that's for you. >> jimmy: we drink this?t's called fire paste along here. >> jimmy: okay. >> here's what i'm going to do. i'm going to light a little bit at the bottom here. >> jimmy: all right. >> there we go. >> this is how it started in 1968. >> you guys go ahead and open those up. >> jimmy: okay. >> i'm going to have you pour that down the gutter. >> jimmy: okay. >> say please, baby bro. >> please. >> jimmy: you're saying this is what starts the wildfires? >> this is why they climb up hills. that's going to drip down. you're going to see it hit this flame. and then it's going to move -- >> it's like a satanic ritual. >> there we go. >> here comes the god of fire! >> it's going to walk up this hill. if all goes well, when it does that, as it goes along, it's going to light these little fire paste candles. >> jimmy: it's kind of beautiful, huh, bob? >> yeah, it's getting there. >> the land of crock pot with lord racknu. fire will heal those who bow down to it. [ laughter ] eat the fire, little brother, come on! ha ha! ha h

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you. thank you for watching. thank you for joining us here in sunny -- hot and sunny california. boy, oh boy. i have to admit, i'm tired. i don't like to admit it as i know it makes me vulnerable. one of you could have tagged me and get this spot. i got home late last night. i got home at 3:00 a.m. we were in washington this weekend presenting the mark twain prize to jon stewart. [ cheers and applause ] who is a national treasure. it was a lot of fun. but a lot of people there were worried i might get locked up being in the same town as the klan mom, marjorie taylor greene. [ laughter ] who you may know reported me to the capitol police last week. i actually met some of the capitol police. i think i'm going to be okay. there was no a.p.b. put out. [ laughter ] i was able to walk around freely in the city. but marjorie is busy getting sued by a group of her constituents in georgia who believe she is ineligible to run for re-election because of her role i

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's up? >> mike: jimmy! jimmy!ou've got to turn the music off. >> jimmy: hey, man. what's up? >> mike: jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's happening? >> mike: did you just take your second pair of sunglasses off your first pair of sunglasses? >> jimmy: because of the covid, the doctor told me to wear two pairs. [ laughter ] >> mike: it seems like you're sort of having a vacation. are you sure you have covid? >> jimmy: oh, no, this is not a vacation at all. just i was told to kind of relax, stay at home, have a -- >> mike: hey, molly. i thought you were sick. [ laughter and applause ] molly was behind you a second ago, looked like she was mixing a drink. >> jimmy: no, molly's upstairs in bed, she's very ill. [ laughter ] >> mike: okay, molly's grabbing the vodka behind you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy, i appreciate you having me here -- [ doorbell ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh. can you just -- my masseuse is here. i just have to run and grab the door. >> mike: don't do that, you have covid! [ doorbell ] >>

>> after jimmy was elected, there was a cartoon in the washington post with, jimmy's mother, me, and there were haystacks, we had on straw hats, there was strong between our teeth. [laughs] then i went from that to being steel magnolia. i thought that was pretty good. steele is tough, magnolia's southern. and then i was fuzzy. i was fuzzy for awhile. and then i was most powerful. i had a full range of images. i did not think i was any of that. i was proud i was from the south. i hope i was tough. i didn't think i was fuzzy. when we came to washington, i knew what i wanted to do. i had worked on mental health problems while jimmy was governor. i had been the governor's wife, i had had my projects, i had entertained ambassadors instead of heads of state. i had entertained georgia legislatures and said of congress people. there was a lot that i had learned. i couldn't wait to get to washington to work on mental health. i had a chance to do it in the whole country. the campaign, my biographical state saying i was interested in and mental health issues. everywhere i went in the country ca

i thought the battle of we had a lot of input from people jimmy would jimmy consulted a lot of people about who would be best with certain positions and then we would have a nato list and then would narrow it down. i told him what i thought about people out, which i always did with issues and so forth. i always told him he always knew how i felt. sometimes you took my advice and sometimes he made the decision. were you? do you think that your voice was one he tended to listen to. with greater that had greater weight than perhaps some of his other advisors. just because sometimes a spouse. is not going to necessarily have the kind of outside agenda that an employee or an appointee might someday have i don't know whether on some things that i knew about like mental health and women's issues and problems of the elderly and those kinds of things. he always listened to what i had to say, but there were so many issues that i didn't know about he could talk to me. for instance. we were trying to make latin america nuclear free zone so he talked to me all about the whole issue. of i think the

i'm glad to be with amy and with jimmy.i am going to convey all of this information that i have to jimmy. in fact, i look forward to consulting closely with him on a regular basis. [laughs] i think my role was more one of a sounding board for jimmy. he could explain the issues to me and in the process -- and he knew i was interested and them because i have been all over the country, telling people what he would do. >> [laughs] >> and i could go out into the countryside and talk to people. presidents can become very isolated. one reason is because they have such huge -- they can't really get access to people. also, people tell the president what he wants to hear. and i could get information about how the energy crisis with affecting people. problems are -- i had one woman tell me that her house had been taken away because she had paid for it, but her husband took out a second mortgage on it. and in that -- presented -- those kinds of things i could come home and bring to jamie and then, as he struggled with an issue, maybe s

he knew it was something from jimmy carter.e opens the envelope, they are carter says, zbig, do you ever know when to stop? [laughs] brzezinski was proud of this note. he thought it was, it signified his, the nature of his access to the president. it was, this relationship wore carter down. by the third year of the presidency, during the hostage crisis, zbig was beginning to win the arguments. zbig was the one who was constantly urging carter to respond to the iran hostage crisis with military force. he was the one who persuaded carter in the and reluctantly, to give a greenlight to the helicopter rescue mission. which, of course, turned out to be a disaster. i think was preordained to be a disaster. it could never have succeeded. but brzezinski was in favor of force. it is ironic that over this issue, jay vance finally resigns, leaving brzezinski standing on the field. this is i think one of the tragedies of the carter foreign policy. apparatus. >> was there an october surprise in 1980? we know from the archives, it looks like

if someone offered to buy you a horse you would. >> jimmy natalie responded that. >> jimmy: will beorses. i mean, to be clear. the timing of this reminds me a lot of when joe rogan was in the crosshairs of the far left attack machine. and he went from we love this podcast on spotify two he has a racist, he is a homophobe, he wrote the bad ending to "the sopranos." i'm telling you he's got to go. i just think this whole idea of timing, we have taken into consideration. especially when you consider that everybody doing this is tweeting at him from a tesla, okay? they love this guy. he was the patron saint of the left like 5 minutes ago. but what i love so much is that elon musk said what? the left is the party with division and hate and they responded with division and hate. this is like if you call me an alcoholic and i responded by chugging a keg of beer. it's kind of a cell phone. >> emily: yes, today is a cell phone. elon musk said he put a popcorn emoji. i don't want to know what jimmy did last weekend, okay? [laughter] keep my mind up you senator elon musk said this would happen

we gave my son malcolm peanut butter that was gifted to us from jimmy kimmel of "jimmy kimmel live.". i think we have a photo of him getting his first little taste. >> andy: let's get a peek. what's that? [ laughter ] >> that's him pushing away the spoon when he found out the man who gave us the peanut butter is riddled with covid. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> andy: understood. i thought you were saying, that's him pushing away the spoon, i'm the other guy. [ laughter ] >> i'm the guy in the dodgers hat. you know me with my dodgers. >> andy: you love them dodgers. >> yeah. [ cheers ] >> andy: here's something fun. >> for sure. >> andy: we've got to bring it back to "chip 'n' dale." >> obvs. >> andy: we were given international posters. chip 'n' dale internationally are called different things everywhere. >> we have different names in different countries. >> andy: i have not seen these but i think it would be fun to take a peek, see what we've got. >> yes, let's take a look. >> andy: this is finland. >> where we are -- tikun and takun? [ laughter ] >> that's the finnish name. >> andy:

>> jimmy i would call you sir but i'm not a biologist.int i think homeschool should be something for people they should consider what about the socializing part of it kids need to be able to deal with other students and build confidence, integrity and all that kind of stuff but i'll tell you personally, me going to a public school was not all that bad i learned how to say no to drugs by being at a school on the south side of chicago because the teachers that are sold at bad weed therefore i never purchased them i always said no. [laughter] >> just to be clear you said no because the weed was bad? there's a follow-up no time for follow-up. [laughter] >> they get a lot of the back lash is the end result of zoom learning children got more involved in their curriculum and got to see exactly what's going on since the moment all that day drinking in their pajamas has finally caught up to the teachers? >> yes it has. i will note in all seriousness, so a lot of parents realized when they got to see the education they were getting via zoom in publ