jimmy, lift yours up vertically. [ tone sounding ] >> jimmy: whoa!"close encounters of the third kind." that's pretty cool. what do you have over here? >> we figured, let's do this a little bit bigger, huh? is that okay? >> jimmy: yeah, let's do it a little bigger. >> all right. come on over here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm going to have you come here. you're going on hold this. >> jimmy: who, me? >> yes. we're going to have you hold this horizontally. >> jimmy: okay. >> then at one point, you're going to kind of -- you might have to move your hands. >> jimmy: kids, climb in. [ laughter ] >> all right, wesley, you okay with flame throwers? >> yeah. >> all right, excellent. we're going to turn this baby on -- >> jimmy: whoa >> squeeze that, that's going to get it -- we have a piece of screen in there. go ahead and heat that one up. >> jimmy: okay. trixie, you're not allowed to use a flame thrower till you're 13. >> next time we'll get you in on the flame thrower. back a little bit further. there you go. that's starting to glow nice and orange. >> jimmy: l

>> jimmy: yeah >> and i'm like -- >> jimmy: yeah, "no, i'm an adult. >> "go sit down. >> jimmy: yeah,r ears >> i will. >> jimmy: -- if you don't want to hear about yourself but, all right, here's something from "the wrap." it says "this magnificent performance elevates deadwyler into the ranks of the great actors of our time." [ cheers and applause >> it is hot, jimmy. >> jimmy: it is hot, right >> my pits are sweating. >> jimmy: "this is a a career-defining performance that'll likely lead her to become one of the most highly sought after actresses in the business." from "collider." [ cheers and applause >> jimmy, you wrote that >> jimmy: no, that's for real, from "collider." "her performance here is nothing short of magnificent and powerful." that's from "screen rant." [ cheers and applause the last one >> okay, finally >> jimmy: whoopi goldberg was here on the show, sitting there and told me "it is the best thing i've ever seen from an actor. [ cheers and applause and i watched it, and i was blown away and i go, "i have to get to know you." you are unbelievable in this thing. it mus

i want to show everyone a clip >> starring sarah. >> jimmy: starring sarah >> sarah >> jimmy: jimmy.lf !pack." take a look. >> i need your help, everettmy ou to helpe. me figureiear a ah e out who's e responsibluie forp qudavqu of several peecople aer that iesncludes some of youra e uen usnds who toare on tha at s bus.sh f you're going to hear that the oa ecenocpect acorson that's only part of the truth.ty because it's not just a suspicion.lae d.rq t i knowo for certa in this fihare a cte was causined by arson. i can te jll you i'mlo certain o e other thingsoc the arsonist i ds a teenagraerrs uce might have been even be someone you go to school with.ghimn in fact, it's quite possibleab thinis teenager r was on tguhata with you >> jimmy: come on. that's how you do it [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: sarah michelle gellar! "wolf pack" airs thursdays on paramount plus more "the tonight show" after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ at marshalls, our buyers spend every day hustling ♪ for the brands you love... so you don't have to. we get the deals. you get

>> jimmy: walzer >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer >> we have an "l." jimmy: oh, walzer when does the "l" come in? >> the third >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer walzer >> walzer. >> jimmy: walzer >> yeah, almost. >> jimmy: walzer oh my gosh >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: didn't help me at all. [ cheers and applause no, it's terrible. christoph walzer [ cheers and applause christoph waltz. ♪ >> steve: you know what, it's chris waltz. [ laughter ] let's make it easy on ourselves. >> jimmy: no, not at all either way, is the guy bad in anything you ever seen in your life >> steve: never. >> jimmy: he is fantastic in every single thing i love the guy so much no matter what you call him [ laughter ] >> steve: hey, shut your mouth i'm talking about christoph. >> jimmy: yeah ♪ >> steve: thank you. wow. >> jimmy: yeah >> steve: it's that kind of day, right >> jimmy: you know what i'm saying >> steve: it's friday, though. >> jimmy: yeah, but he's here. he's here. christoph is here. [ cheers and applause i do love the guy. plus, you can see her in the new romantic comedy, "y

jimmy kimmel. jimmy kimmy. jimmy. call me up, jimmy.l me up, tell me what you want, what time, i'll be there. jimmy, i haven't heard from you. it's not funny anymore. right? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no, it's still funny. it kind of gets funnier as we go on. but we missed mike so we accepted his request on one condition. i told mike he was welcome on the show if he agreed to do the interview from inside a dave & buster's claw machine. [ laughter ] and guess what? >> jimmy kimmel has mike lindell, i don't know, round three or four, thank you for putting yourself through what jimmy kimmel's going to put you through, whatever it's going to be. >> yeah. by the way, everybody, i'm going to be inside of a claw game. inside of a -- you know, where they grab the -- the stuff. because he doesn't want -- you have to be vaccinated there, so it's for his protection. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, hold on. i do want to make something clear. i did not insist mike be in a claw machine because he wasn't vaccinated, i insisted he be i

>> duel. >> jimmy: you do? >> i'm a seer, jimmy. >> jimmy: have you seen a ghost?ow. if it was a ghost, it would make sense. i feel presences, see presences. i had a bit of a misstep. i felt a presence in my home, i thought, i'll cleanse it, google cleanse, what's the big deal? and i think i might have kind of accidentally invited more ghosts in. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> because as i was cleansing, i was trying to be joyful and happy. i was like, "the only spirits allowed here are the positive, good ones." then i realized the next day when the heats were flickering, and like -- i have a cabinet -- >> jimmy: you opened the portal to hell. >> i opened a portal, i welcomed them in. i did need to consult with an expert after that. >> jimmy: where do you get an expert for that sort of thing? >> i just googled "best witch in l.a." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what really? >> yes. she was wonderful. we got the situation sorted. i haven't felt or seen any signs of any more ghosts. >> jimmy: can i tell you something? i think it's time we take away your google. [ laughter ] i thin

okay okay >> jimmy: yes. >> okay. ready? >> jimmy: yep. >> here we go. >> jimmy: cupid! and applause [ bell ringing ] >> look at the tunnel. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable! >> look at the tunnel. >> wow >> look at the tunnel. >> jimmy: wow! tunnel of love >> yeah! valentines love tunnel. >> well done well done. quest, good luck to you, bud >> yo! >> questlove: in my years of being here, no one ever picks ten. >> yeah. >> do it >> questlove: i'm going to pick ten. [ cheers and applause >> i feel good about it. >> jimmy: i don't think words are written on number 10 >> questlove: now i know why no one ever - [ laughter ] i can do this. >> jimmy: okay >> all right, mind meld, mind meld >> questlove: i got you. i hope i got you [ laughter ] i haven't been to sleep in hours though >> sure, sure. >> questlove: you ready? >> yeah. >> questlove: okay >> jimmy: you ready? >> okay. do you want to come here alison >> yeah. guys, guys okay, okay cupid! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god cupid. >> baby fish mouth baby fish mouth. [ laughter ] okay bee. bee. be yourself. bee. bumblebee.

i want to show everyone a clip >> starring sarah. >> jimmy: starring sarah >> sarah >> jimmy: jimmy.esgele "wolquf pack."tr iptake a look.star im >>essa retty. need your j help, eve a i need youer to help m>>e fign out whdeo's responnosible for t deaths of several people that includeghs some of imyour nfriends who are on that school wos.osclos shear you'shre going t fo hear that t police suspect arson! that's only part of the truth. . because it's not just a suspicion.t my i know for certain this fire>>o was caused by arsison.e uaesab luosn detell you ite'm certainas one otosher thingsanut the arsonist is a teenagertoowa! might have been even be someone you go to school with. in fact, it's quite possible this tvaeenager waues on that cr o snaspghimnr >> jimmy: come on. that's how you do it [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: sarah michelle gellar! "wolf pack" airs thursdays on paramount plus more "the tonight show" after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ♪ i need to find a valentines gift fast. i just don't know what to do. normal isn't going to cut it this year.

jimmy! become a neil diamond impersonator. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> why? >> jimmy: you did a great job, i'm going to be "neil zirconia." [ laughter ] that will be my name. i've trademarked it so nobody can take from it me. >> that's good, yeah. >> jimmy: bobby, your neil diamond was pretty spot on. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: i'm guessing that wasn't your first go-around with "i am, i said." >> how good is that song? >> jimmy: its great. the lyrics are a combination of fantastic and preposterous. >> it starts out fantastic, right? the story makes perfect sense. then introduces cher. >> jimmy: he says, i am, i said, to no one there, and no one heard it all, not even the chair. it's one of those songs you have to go back and listen again, did he say chair? >> yeah. then there's the thing about frog -- >> audacious, isn't it? >> jimmy: the frog and the -- >> yeah, became one. >> on drugs, do you think? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: neil diamond? everybody was on drugs back then, i don't know. >> ju

>> jimmy. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah. >> jimmy: don't tell my wife, okay?really just the plus-one, to be honest. but it's great to have you guys here. the movie is called "80 for brady." it opens in theaters february 3rd. lily tomlin, jane fonda, rita we'll be right back with jacob latimore. tri-zone. discover the ozempic® in my ozempic® tri-zone, i lowered my a1c, cv risk, and lost some weight. in studies, the majority of people reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults also with known heart disease. and you may lose weight. adults lost up to 14 pounds. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. serious side effects ma

you were there, jimmy. >> jimmy: was i?ed out. this is true i thought it was segmented out like around regionally so i thought we were the 100 most influential people in central texas. but they, in fact, meant like a larger spot. >> jimmy: yes, yes >> a larger audience than that so we come to this thing, everybody is there you were there you remember 2019 >> 2019. >> jimmy: of course. >> you were sitting in front of us >> of course like it was yesterday. whenever timberlake says something, you know exactly what he's talking about. [ laughter ] but if i mention some bro moment, you have no idea what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: we were bro-ing out? >> we were bro-ed out, bro >> jimmy: really >> so, long story short. we're in an auditorium similar to this. >> jimmy: oh, i remember this. >> taylor swift comes in the whole audience is filled >> but was everyone's mingling everyone's mingling. there was the rock, martha stewart i mean, everyone we were in awe we were two kids from waco, texas. what the heck are we doing here >>

>> jimmy: break a leg! >> guillermo: thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: don't break a leg.e's definitely going to break a leg. [ laughter ] february, as you know, is black history month. every so often around this time i like to shine a light on how much progress we've made as a nation when it comes to race relations. we went out onto hollywood boulevard and asked people passing by, "do you have a black friend?" now here's how it works. we're going to see a person, a white person introduce themselves. based strictly on that introduction, our job as an audience and a family is to guess if they have a black friend, okay? [ laughter ] understand? let's meet our first pedestrian. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> allie from arizona. >> do you have a black friend? >> jimmy: what do you think? does allie from arizona have a black friend? all right, most of the audience says yes, let's find out. >> yes. >> what's their name? >> i'm trying to think. sorry. i'm trying to think. oh, rashaun. >> jimmy: oh, rashaun, right. [ laughter ] i have a feeling rashaun doesn't reme

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for taking shelter here in. very kind. i have to say, i want to apologize to our visitors from other towns. i hope you had a good weekend. we had some crazy, crazy weather here. when i woke up on sunday, a huge piece of lattice had flown off my roof and onto my car. and that wasn't even the number one weirdest thing that happened. i had like 80 texts sending me an article from "rolling stone" it says "trump white house pressured disney to censor jimmy kimmel." now disney is the company that owns abc, our network. and obviously jimmy kimmel is me. so obviously i was interested in seeing what it was. according to the story, in 2018, donald trump, who was at that time president of the united states was so upset about my jokes that i made about him, he directed staffers at the white house to call disney to kell them to rein me in. the report says at least two calls were made from the trump white house to "co

jimmy kimmel, jimmy fallon, or jimmy buffett >> jimmy fallon. >> jimmy fallon? that's correct!ee as we get ready to start the third quarter of play. mark jones chopping it up courtside, they're not here to play around, they're serious about this thing. >> i think they're ready for a fun second half. >> i love that. >> he needs to pick on someone his own size. >> come on, that's illegal. >> how do you feel you've been playing so far? >> guillermo: well, i think -- i'm trying my best, i think i'm doing okay. i haven't scored a basket yet but i'm looking forward to score the basket. >> you're saying, give the rock to you? >> guillermo: give me the ball, pass me the ball, yes. >> let me talk to one of your assistant coaches. guillermo thinks he wants the rock more. what do you think of that strategy? >> he's my favorite, we started him. but we want to win as well. >> guillermo -- >> that is the most guillermo thing that you will see tonight. >> so fitting. >> we need to count that as a bucket. >> oh, yeah, oh, yeah. that's my pizza. hey, coach, i ordered pizza. you want some pizza?

woo-hoo >> jimmy: do you feel the love >> jimmy: yahoo!mmy: it is great to see you. dude, you look great, as always look at you on the cover of "men's health" magazine, looking like a stud. ♪ >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no we can't - >> audience: yahoo >> thank you you're embarrassing me >> jimmy: no >> bringing out "men's health" already, out of the gate >> jimmy: no, i did it on your intro. >> very sweet of you >> jimmy: you're a stud. this is awesome. you know, it's funny, because your co-star, jonathan majors, also was on the cover of "men's health." >> yeah. it's strange, because, normally, you're doing a movie and they ask you to do a a magazine cover, and here we are, "men's health." but this time they did both of us both actors from the movie >> jimmy: were you worried that it would be similar photographs? >> a little. i mean, a little bit, because, you know, i don't know if you've seen "men's health. they sometimes will -- they'll, kind of, have a similar setup. and i'm like, "is this going to be too alike." >> jimmy: right, right,

no [ laughter ] >> jimmy: never? >> no. >> jimmy: never?able. it -- did it -- that's fantastic. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so, you go into the audition did you know that you were auditioning for diana? >> so, it's a weird story. i knew, in a kind of vague way, that i was going to play this part for very -- like, five years. so, i went in and did an audition for a part in season two. >> jimmy: of "the crown. >> of "the crown." and season one had just come out and it was a really big hit and everyone was, rightly so, very excited my agent called me up and said, "well just go in --" basically -- i was so physically wrong for this part and so i went in and i did this pretty bad audition, you know. they kind of stopped me and they were like, "thank -- we'll call you thank you so much," you know >> jimmy: oh, that is the worst. >> brutal. so then i left and then i got an email, this sort of ambiguous email like the next day saying, definitely not that part, but maybe diana but it was about -- you know, it was, like, five years in the pipeline >> jimmy: s

jimmy: to americans. >> sure. >> jimmy: on the moon. >> that's right. >> jimmy: it's set in what appears these cars that float. >> yep. >> jimmy: and popcorn that makes itself. >> that's right. >> jimmy: in a popcorn popper. like the jetsons, really. >> we call that the retro future. >> jimmy: the retro future. >> in the tv world. so i think probably the writers are thinking what's a good way to tell a story about america in the past and in the future - and a bit of the present. so america tends to be a very hopeful, optimistic country. the people who came here were probably looking for promise of a better future. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and we sell that a lot in our products. and so i think the idea of this, it being a part of the past, part of the future, part of the present, what happens if we're only selling hope? do we ever actually live in the present moment. jack is a believer in hope. so he is constantly selling this optimism. >> jimmy: now you made a really interesting show sound boring. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: with your gobbledygook. >> i'm going to take that damn chair with me. by t

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>> guillermo: not at all, jimmy. yeah, i was -- >> jimmy: tequila works, doesn't it?> guillermo: works all the time. >> jimmy: it was a 4.2 off the coast of malibu. it was coupled with an annual reminder of our impending doom. in washington they have a group of atomic scientists who gather to update what they call the doomsday clock. this is a metaphorical measure of how close we are getting to the end of the human race. i'll tell you what, these guys, one thing they really know how to put on a show. >> we move the clock forward, the closest it has ever been to midnight. it is now -- 90 seconds to midnight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's like they died already or something. [ laughter and applause ] the doomsday clock, first of all, it looks like they bought it at party city. [ laughter ] second, if they want to get people's attention, you need to spice this presentation up. like this. >> it is now -- 90 seconds to midnight. >> we're all gonna die! we're doomed, doomed i say, doomed! how are you so calm? 90 seconds! run for your [ bleep ] lives! aah! aah! [ cheers and ap

>> jimmy: great job, thank you. >> love you, i love you. >> jimmy: don't encourage him. >> jimmy theest, he's the one make me famous. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: god bless you, yehya. >> no, god bless you. >> jimmy: oh, god bless you. >> no, god bless you. >> jimmy: i'd rather goss blessed you tonight. >> god bless you. >> jimmy: god bless you and your family. >> and your family. >> jimmy: god bless you. >> you have good heart, too. >> jimmy: god bless guillermo too. [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. camila morrone is here. we've got music from walk off the earth. and we'll be right back with the one and only tom cruise. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we need to protect him! >> guillermo: i want to go home. >> jimmy: what are you going to do? tonight, from "daisy jones and the six," camila morrone is with us. [ cheers and applause ] then later from ontario, canada, their song is called "my stupid heart." walk off the earth from the mercedes benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] next week, we're back at it again with courteney cox, michael b. jordan, jon favreau, ike

no, i -- >> jimmy: a mod? >> i was a sweet kid. >> jimmy: you were?being an actor, you're kind of everything. but i did sports in high school. i was student body president. >> jimmy: you would student body president? >> senior class president, yes. >> jimmy: wow. your last name is a lot to put on a sign. [ laughter ] that must have been a lot of work. >> no, no, it was way easier. i was running against garrett kerr, blond hair, blue eyes. i'm dark hair, dark eyes. instead of a big speech about, i'll do this, he'll do this. we both said, "comes down to, you want someone with blond hair and blue eyes? dark hair or dark eyes?" they wanted me so i won. [ laughter and applause ] i don't know what i did as senior class president. thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: what were your responsibilities as senior class president? >> i have no idea. i don't remember what they were then. i found out later on that that is a title you can never get rid of. 10 years, 20 years later, people will ask you, "are you going to organize the reunion?" >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's ri

for now, jimmy kimmel. >> lou: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, milo ventimiglia, carles barkley, and music from paramore. with cleto and the cletones. and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. very nice. thanks. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. happy valentine's night. thank you for coming. thank you for sharing the romance. love is in the air. or maybe it's just another chinese spy balloon. i don't know. [ laughter ] for those who are watching at home, thank you for taking a break from what was no doubt a vigorous night of love-making. it's good to watch you do it. [ laughter ] valentine's day, as you know, was created by the hallmark corporation as a way to ruin your marriage. [ laughter ] guillermo, did you do what needed to be done? >> guillermo: yes, of course. >> jimmy: you got flowers? >> guillermo: flowers, chocolate, and wine. >> jimmy: oh, flowers, chocolate, and wine. what about a card? are you stopping at cvs on the way home? >> guillermo: i already got it. >> jimmy: cvs is like an episode o

>> guillermo: no, jimmy, it's too hard. >> jimmy: it's too hard?> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever tried to give up anything for lent? >> guillermo: i did one year, alcohol, but it didn't work. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: didn't work. >>. >> guillermo: did not work. >> jimmy: it's hard to give things you love up for 40 days, but i will say when easter finally comes, and you get into all those delicious hard-boiled eggs? it's so worth it. [ laughter ] much of the country is dealing with extreme winter weather. more than 1,500 flights were canceled today, or as southwest airlines calls it, "not a bad wednesday!" [ laughter ] for the first time in decades, the national weather service issued a blizzard warning for parts of l.a. county this week and weekend. in las vegas, which often gives us a preview of weather we are about to see, they had 45 mile an hour winds. look at this. the wind was blowing so hard, port-a-potties were moving across parking lots on their own. remember that old game of electronic football? it's rare that a scene from "jackas

>> jimmy: elizabeth!y a thing. i have so many questions first of all, i know you're an eagles fan >> well, i'm a patriots fan. i'm from massachusetts but my side chick is the eagles 'cause i went to school in philly and my husband is a a philly fan [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: oh >> yes >> jimmy: your side piece -- >> my side piece are the "iggles," yeah >> jimmy: yeah, yeah >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and where you did you watch the game >> well, unfortunately, i was on the airplane coming here. >> jimmy: oh >> and the first half was great. i felt really good about the first half actually. >> jimmy: oh, yeah >> and then we were coming in for a landing, like, right as we were counting down to the halftime and i was like, "god dang it, this plane thing is going to land right as rihanna is coming out on stage." [ light laughter ] and jimmy, a rihanna miracle happened we landed -- >> jimmy: delay. >> "your gate is -- there's a plane at the gate. >> jimmy: the gate took off. >> "we've got to sit here 15 minu

thank you again for this >> thank you >> jimmy: that is so thoughtful >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy:mania," is in theaters and imax february 17th [ cheers and applause we'll be right back with a a performance from armani white stick around [ cheers and applause ♪ so cozy. how many rooms are in there? should we go check it out? yeah. we get to stay here all weekend! when you stay at a vrbo... i call doing the door code! ...the host doesn't stay with you. it looks exactly like the picture. because without privacy in your vacation home... it's a full log cabin guys. ...it isn't really a vacation... we can snuggle up by the fire. ...is it? wow, oh my- [birds chirping] ♪ remix your routine. ♪ make it a hidden valley ranch night. ♪ ♪ hey, it's just not right. nah, i need to try something... new. [sfx: triangle instrument dings] “ring my bell” by anita ward. audience screams. ♪ ring my bell ♪ you're gonna quit rap for a triangle? i gotta do me, missy. i love you, jack! america has a case of triangle fever. jack harlow did it again. ting, ting, ting! [sfx: triangle dings] doritos, try anothe

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. welcome.hank you. welcome. thank you, cleto. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching at home. thank you for joining us on the first day of february. it's february, it is black history month, president biden made an official proclamation declaring it black history month. republicans in the house of representatives countered by declaring it march. [ laughter ] the first month of the new year is behind us. dry january is over, and i tell you what, february's here and nobody was more surprised by this development than our nation's easily astonished casters of news. >> first day of february, can you believe it? >> first day of february, can you believe isn't it. >> first day of february, can you believe it? >> can you believe it is february 1st? >> can you believe it's february 1st? >> can you believe, february 1st? >> february 1st, can you believe it? >> february 1st. >> can you believe it? >> february 1st, can you believe it? >> february 1st, can you believe that

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheering and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello. i'm jimmy.'m the host of the show. thank you for watching. i'm glad you're here. i appreciate that. i don't know if you know this. today is probably the most unproductive work day of the year, super bowl monday. they say almost 19 million americans called in sick to work today. can you believe that, guillermo? wait, where is guillermo? did he -- oh, no, did guillermo call in sick to work today too? oh, wait a minute. [ cheering ] can i just say you did such a great job backing up rihanna at halftime. >> guillermo: thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i don't know if you saw, guillermo is really the star at the super bowl. there he is. [ cheering ] shining bright like a diamond. rihanna yesterday delivered had to deliver what is the biggest we're expecting in america. when her belly came out, every living room in america stopped waiting for someone, preferably a woman, to say something. everyone was like, "when did she have that baby again?" my wife was looking up her ovulation chart. all hands were on de

>> jimmy: the best >> steve: the best >> jimmy: jetes! >> steve: jeter! my favorite. >> steve: lovely >> jimmy: i was so lucky to see most of his important big milestone games. i used to go to the games all the time with lorne michaels and we used to sit there and i'm behind - you know, sometimes we'd end up on camera, because the seats are right behind home plate. but i just never knew kind of what to do with my hands so, i would just get kind of nervous. i'm like, "come on, derek. i was rooting for him all the time so, every time you watch these highlight videos of derek, you could see one nerd in the background going - [ laughter ] and yeah, that's me, yeah. but anyways, derek jeter is here tonight, i love that guy. [ cheers and applause speaking of love, i love her new single, it's called "you only love me." it is out right now. and she stars in season two of the animated series "kung fu panda: the dragon knight" which is streaming now on netflix. rita ora is here [ cheers and applause we're going to talk to rita ora, then she's performing, "you only

totally. >> jimmy: -- as it was driving by >> yeah. >> jimmy: i handled it very well >> yeah. >> jimmys serious. there's a lot at stake here. pride is on the line >> yes >> jimmy: so, you have agreed to help train to get me ready for the race >> i think you are, like, the ideal candidate to beat the best formula 1 drivers in the world. you're perfect >> jimmy: thank you. are we -- did we get that on tape >> yes >> jimmy: did we record it because that is -- finally someone's saying that. [ cheers and applause >> yeah. ♪ [ race car engine >> first thing we have to do, is visualize yourself behind the wheel. >> jimmy: okay >> so, close your eyes >> jimmy: yep. >> and then steer the wheel. that's it, yep so, you're racing right now. and then you're pressing the throttle press the throttle, press the throttle and then don't forget honking the horn you've got to honk the horn. yeah >> jimmy: this is going to help me win the race? >> no, actually it's for my tiktok ♪ [ cheers and applause [ race car engine >> jimmy: okay, jim, it's time to drive these things are electric. they've been hooked

>> no, no, no, not at all, jimmy. >> jimmy: you've got short, short, short hair.h, you're welcome [ light laughter ] all right, now, do not remove the blindfolds until i tell you, okay? are you excited? >> very excited. >> yes >> yeah, yep [ laughter ] >> jimmy: audience, are you ready? are you ready -- [ cheers and applause -- for the brand new, freshly permed, tyler? here is tyler before and here he is now tyler, come on out [ cheers and applause ♪ ♪ oh my god ♪ >> jimmy: can you do a 360 >> that's great. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: step right on the star >> i'm so excited. [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: wow. tyler, you look great. do you feel great? >> i feel incredible >> jimmy: wow. [ laughter and applause guys, are you ready to see tyler? >> yes >> yeah. >> jimmy: hold hands -- hold hands and follow me. >> all right [ laughter ] >> jimmy: getting closer and closer do not take off your blindfolds yet. [ drumroll ] all right. who are you most excited to see your new look? dad? >> he's -- he's seen every single one of my hairdos this is gonna be a unique o

and now, jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome, thank you.i, everybody. stop it, it's too much. i'm jimmy. thanks for watching. thanks for braving the elements to be here. wow, you guys must be from out of town. [ laughter ] you must be from strong places. we saw weather today we don't see here. we got hit with rain, hail, and even a light dusting of snow in southern california, in hollywood. it even had the audacity to snow on the hollywood sign. [ laughter ] and of course, everybody's complaining about how -- this is a great example of how different l.a. is from other places. the earth itself moves in the middle of the night and we don't even get out of bed, but a tiny bit of snow? we will not leave the house, we're scared. [ laughter ] you okay, guillermo? >> guillermo: it's freaking cold, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: italso when the last time you saw snow here? >> guillermo: oh, wow. a long time ago. >> jimmy: and he's an actual snowman. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: yeah, long time ago, yeah. >> jimmy: by the way, compared to the rest of t

> yeah. >> jimmy: the answer - >> true. >> jimmy: water -- >> it's wet. >> jimmy: but why would he ask us >> jimmy: is water wet [ audience yelling ] what do you mean no? yes. >> yes it's wet it's wet >> questlove: answer the question, please is water wet >> jimmy: i'm just going to say -- >> true. >> jimmy: yes. >> questlove: well, the answer - >> may surprise you. >> jimmy: may surprise you [ music sting >> questlove: -- may surprise you. [ buzzer ] [ cheers and applause that is incorrect. whatever is filled with water is wet, but water itself is not wet. >> jimmy: aaron judge, everybody. water is not wet we're talking to aaron after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ♪ >> jimmy: now and then, i go to the games. and i -- it's just interesting i just figured while you're here, i just -- you never look over at me you never go like -- [ laughter ] >> hold on, jimmy. hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on [ laughter ] i try. but every time i look over, you're taking selfies or eating hot dogs you're drinkin>>g a beerdo jro i don' t want to ninterrupt qyou.¿mo immy: ple

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, hey. hi >> oh! >> jimmy: whoa jay hernandez. "magnum p.i." and applause ♪ coming this year. this is about everything. to the hulu and disney+ bundle. ♪ this is why we're perfect together. hang on. epic adventures on disney+. you ready for an adventure? this is just the beginning. and stories you'll love on hulu. what did you say? it's dazzling. ♪ love it. hulu and disney+. better together in 2023. so brilliant! spot on. all of these and more streaming soon. on the next episode of "tv dad"... kids are so expensive, dad. maybe try switching your car insurance to progressive. you could save hundreds. that's a great idea, tv dad. listen to your tv dad. drivers who switch and save with progressive save nearly $700 on average. hi. is it too early to return these diet resolutions? are they unrealistic or soul crushingly awful? does it matter? nope, honey, it does not! with weight watchers, you can eat the foods you love and still lose weight. start today. but hurry, offers end soon. i'm lindsey vonn, and ever since i retired from skiing, i've had tr

>> jimmy: you feeling good >> i feel good about this. >> jimmy: you do >> i think so. >> jimmy: go for [ cheers and applause >> all right we're off to a good start. >> steve: that one >> jimmy: that one's a little shiny. >> that's shiny. i'm scared of that one >> jimmy: i'm scared of the shiny one. i'm going to pick that one -- that one >> yeah. >> audience: yeah, yeah. >> that looks cooked to me >> jimmy: somebody said, "why not? >> steve: "why not?" [ laughter ] >> why not oh, this is fun. >> jimmy: i don't feel good about this it's not fun is it fun? >> yeah. come on. >> jimmy: are you having fun >> come on ♪ [ cheers and applause yes. >> jimmy: i just squashed it - >> that was amazing. [ applause ] all right. >> jimmy: that was it. >> all right >> steve: 6-4. >> jimmy: that felt like it was going to be raw. "whoa, that means -- >> whoa. >> jimmy: -- there's a lot of raw guys in there, bud [ laughter ] >> oh, man all right, i'm going to go with this one >> jimmy: ooh, that's -- that's the biggest one. no, i -- i just tried that didn't work for me >> didn't work >> jimmy: no >> all r

and jimmy is looking exit stage right. >> now majesty and benji are giving jimmy kibble >> jimmy kibbleith the paws to >> jimmy: is anybody going to help jimmy kibble out there? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] what's wrong with people? by the way, all of this, the game, the commercials, the halftime show, the puppy bowl, guillermo in this costume -- [ laughter ] it's all an elaborate cover-up to distract us from the ufos suddenly plaguing our country. have you been following this? all of a sudden, there are more ufos than chick-fil-as. [ laughter ] the air force shot down another unidentified flying object yesterday, the third one in four days. i never in a million years thought i'd say this, but where the hell is the space force? [ laughter ] why are they a thing? the white house today announced they formed an interagency team to look into what's going on. after initially refusing to rule it out, today, they said they do not believe these are extraterrestrial visits. which is exactly what they say at the beginning of every movie about extraterrestrial visits. [ laughter ] they do

>> jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, don't call me james. >> jimmy: matthew! >> what's happening?on because i am so into this book. and i know it's been out for -- is it a year >> almost two years now, i think. >> jimmy: oh, my god [ light laughter ] i'm so sorry i'm so -- but, i do love it. but i -- i'm so into the book. and i loved it, and i read everything it is -- it is charming. it is funny. it is personal you get in there, you tell every single story and i loved it and it's actually made me think. it's just so fun >> awesome >> jimmy: and then my friend said, get the audiobook. and, "you've gotta hear it, it's matthew mcconaughey talking and reading the book." i go, "this is gonna be unbelievable." [ light laughter ] and it is unbelievable you are a fantastic storyteller. one that really stuck in my head, is when you're in high school and you had your truck -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: and -- and having that truck, and what -- what did you -- what was the truck? what did you drive >> the truck was a dodge it was only, like, a four cylinder dodge truck that was slightly lifted. good

laughter ] >> jimmy: sorry. i got a gig to open for you at the universal amphitheater in los angeles. >> yep >> jimmy: and so i went. i said hi to you and davy. but you said to me -- you go, "hey, what's your name again it was jimmy?" i go, "yeah. you go, "i think you got something there, kid." >> yeah. >> jimmy: and i go -- and i go, "oh, thank you so much." you're micky -- i'm freaking out meeting you. and you go, "i'm actually directing this pilot if you want to audition, have your manager call this guy you're working with. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you gave me an audition i don't know if the show went anywhere >> no, no. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i wanted to tell you, it built my confidence as a comedian and someone who couldn't get a gig or a callback or anything that little boost, that little someone believing in you really meant a lot to me. >> oh, thank you >> jimmy: and i'll never forget it, and i really that you so much [ applause ] >> oh, thank you >> jimmy: you're a good man. and i was freaking out b

jimmy: okay that may be true. but if i blame accident on norfolk southern, can you not also blame biden administration for the bungled response. our thursday night party panel. former cia officer, chairman and ceo of p portman scsquare group, mike baker and jessica tarlov. diamond dave landau in the house. i start with you, as a resident of midwest and parent, who do you trust more with transportation and trains, computer buttigieg or sir toppen happen. hat, no doubt even drunk. putin is buttigieg is not even capable. the train around the christmas tree. jimmy: maybe on buttigieg. >> baker, you know things. >> i know sir toppen hat does not drink. jimmy: is that true. >> don't put that story out. >> i heard a story he does. jimmy: i have innel f tell for you, a lot of the attempt to pass buck centered around well trumped change the rule, if the change was so egregious should they have not changed it back in the past two and a half years. >> they would have had the opportunity, no surprise one administration blames

jimmy: weird.o tank the play to collect insurance money. i feel that we elected max, and they are trying to tank the -- we should have nathan lane play biden in second term. someone that follows energy markets, if you were intentionally trying to weaken the u.s. of america, could you do a better job than producers in the white house right now. >> i got distracted, i am rewriting lyrics for springtime for hunter and great opportunities. >> boom. >> well, if you have a play, nothing without drugs in the green room, springtime for hungter is hungter is the way to go. >> how many times have a almost shot your tv watching biden in les last two years. >> it beyond frustrating you see struggling mr. ame for american people, and eggs are $8 a dozen. and state of union he does not mention security for america, for biden to talk about the rosie economy, neither he or vice president or none of them go grocery stores shopping or fill up their cars, the rest of us know that is not a grade economy. jimmy: really

i specifically for jimmy carter and say i want to see what you have, jimmy carter. so there was something so there's an orientation program which i've never forgotten because there weren't many people research at the end. and so they pulled out their top gun. well, second top gun, i guess martindale's the interview because they teach you how to presidential library. so martin was explaining to me. he was explaining all different kinds of records, executive subject records, difficult auctions and records and. this just went on for about an hour. and they usually this in ten or 15 minutes. but i was pushed. it went out about an hour and then martin looks at that and and i must have a very blank look on my face. and he said you know, i have no idea what you're going to do when you walk through those doors. and, you know he was remarkably because i had no idea that those but i finished it. you know, i mentioned the name jody powell because i knew he was pretty close to a card. and i said, well, that start by looking at the at the jody pilot fact i did want to tell marti

what do you say jimmy. >> jimmy: first of all, anyone who says women over 50 aren't in their prime hasrch history. allow me to submit to the record cougars 5. but don lemon is at least trying to play good ball, because he has at least come to the realizesation, there's no market for him if this doesn't work out. >> greg: that's right. >> jimmy: don lemon is the journalism job as bill cosby is to bartending jobs. i don't doubt somebody would hire them but they would be sleeping through the interview if they did. i think that's the problem. piers made the bigger point. okay. not that he should be fired for sexism if you fire him it's that he should be fired for stupid. you never want to hear yourself on live interview say google it why? that's what you want to do at a bar to throw them off. i'm right bro goggle it get another shot. >> kat: what if his training was to watch milf manor. i watched five episodes last night. they are not slowing down. >> that's for sure. >> greg: coming up south park dresses down brats from the british crown. >> greg: was south park too mean for crawling out