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Sep 17, 2015
09/15
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jimmy: no, it's hair. i'm just looking for jokes about donald trump if you have them. >> oh, donald trump, you came to the right place. >> jimmy: slept. >> i'm getting our number one donald trump joke now. i don't know but i've been told donald trump is turning red more donald >> jimmy: it's not my birthday. it is not my birthday. >> it's not your birthday? >> jimmy: no, it's not my birthday. i'm looking for donald trump jokes. >> donald trump jokes, yes. >> jimmy: okay, great, all right, good. oh, great. >> these will knock your socks off. >> jimmy: okay, good, all right, i'm ready. it's a great-looking wig. >> ready, jimmy? >> jimmy: what? >> you ready? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm ready. >> okay. joke number one. >> jimmy: okay. >> how many donald trumps does it take to build a wall? >> jimmy: i don't know, how many donald trumps does it take to build a wall? >> zero! he will make the mexicans build it for him! >> jimmy: onh, okay. >> ha ha ha! >> that's the greatest joke! >> jimmy: maybe not the greatest joke. it was good, though. it was solid. can we hear another one? do you have anything else? >> yes, jimmy.
jimmy: no, it's hair. i'm just looking for jokes about donald trump if you have them. >> oh, donald trump, you came to the right place. >> jimmy: slept. >> i'm getting our number one donald trump joke now. i don't know but i've been told donald trump is turning red more donald >> jimmy: it's not my birthday. it is not my birthday. >> it's not your birthday? >> jimmy: no, it's not my birthday. i'm looking for donald trump jokes. >> donald trump jokes,...
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Sep 16, 2015
09/15
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if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmy: but she's boring. let's be honest. donald trump is not. yes? i can read your mind. >> i would never say that. >> jimmy: never say that. you don't have to. your face says it all. well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. [ applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. my grandfather angel martinez vi came over from puerto rico, and his thing was the american dream. he taught us that health is your greatest asset. and that's why 45 years ago, he chose ghi which is now emblemhealth. ghi was the first to cover preventative care for new york kids. today with my business, i'm passing on the family tradition of hard work and good health to angel ix. we're talking generations of healthy, brooklyn "angels." emblemhealth: what care feels like...in the neighborhood. >> jimmy: i'd like to than
if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmy: but she's boring. let's be honest. donald trump is not. yes? i can read your mind. >> i would never say that. >> jimmy: never say that. you don't have to. your face says it all. well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake...
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Sep 16, 2015
09/15
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if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmyour face says it all. well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. ♪ [ applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. the buttery jack was a huge success. people went crazy for a burger with melted garlic herb butter. now, here's the sequel... ...with portobello mushrooms. boom. hang on, i don't want anyone to trip... ok. oh yeah. that's jack's new portobello mushroom buttery jack, the sequel to the classic and bacon & swiss, topped with the same melted garlic herb butter, plus portobello mushrooms and grilled onions. spoiler alert: it's awesome. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank john stamos, jake tapper, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, this is the deluxe edition of "hold my home," here with the song "first," cold war kids! [ applause ]
if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmyour face says it all. well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. ♪ [ applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. the buttery jack was a...
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Sep 16, 2015
09/15
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if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmy says it all. well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. ♪ [ applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. let's clear the air. there are no limits on the amount of carbon pollution power plants can... release. and our senator, pat toomey, led the fight to keep it that way. carbon pollution, a major cause of climate change, leads to more asthma attacks in children. over a million pennsylvanians now suffer from asthma. and senator toomey took over a million dollars from polluters. tell senator toomey: it's time to clear the air. vote for the clean power plan. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank john stamos, jake tapper, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, this is the deluxe edition of "hold my home," here with the song "first," cold war kids
if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmy says it all. well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. ♪ [ applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. let's clear the air. there are...
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Sep 16, 2015
09/15
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WNBC
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. >> jimmy: donald trump. let's talk donald trump. >> steve: all right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: please sit down. [ laughter ] donald trump gave a big speech in dallas last night and began by pointing out that he wasn't using a teleprompter. then he yelled at gary busey to hold the cue cards higher. [ laughter ] "sorry, sir, this -- pineapple spaceship!" [ applause ] seems like everyone is weighing in on trump. in fact the creator of "dilbert" -- did you hear about this? he predicted that trump will win the presidency and also compared him to jesus. [ laughter ] and people hope he's right, because they would love a a three-day break from [ laughter and applause ] a little tiny -- just give me three days. and this isn't good here. i read that jeb bush has seen a a drop in campaign donations lately. he's been forced to take
. >> jimmy: donald trump. let's talk donald trump. >> steve: all right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: please sit down. [ laughter ] donald trump gave a big speech in dallas last night and began by pointing out that he wasn't using a teleprompter. then he yelled at gary busey to hold the cue cards higher. [ laughter ] "sorry, sir, this -- pineapple spaceship!" [ applause ] seems like everyone is weighing in on trump. in fact the creator of "dilbert" -- did...
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Sep 12, 2015
09/15
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tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- donald trump, terrence howard,
tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- donald trump, terrence howard,
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Sep 26, 2015
09/15
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if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmy: but she's boring. let's be honest. donald trump is not. yes? i can read your mind. >> jimmy: never say that. you don't have to. your face says it all. [ laughter ] well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. i really can't. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. we'll be right back with cold >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is with the new chase freedom mobile app, you can simply redeem, pay, and go. the new chase freedom mobile app. the card is for the essentials. the cash back is for the fun. chase. so you can. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank john stamos, jake tapper, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, this is the deluxe edition of "hold my home," here with the song "first," cold war kids! [ cheers and applause ] cheated
if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmy: but she's boring. let's be honest. donald trump is not. yes? i can read your mind. >> jimmy: never say that. you don't have to. your face says it all. [ laughter ] well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. i really can't. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper...
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Sep 26, 2015
09/15
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WPVI
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if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmyhat. you don't have to. your face says it all. [ laughter ] well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. i really can't. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. we'll be right back with cold war kids! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. do we have anymore chips? [off screen] fellas? uh, sorry. we were day dreaming. about that vip tailgate and game tickets? uh yeah! and that pre-game sideline experience... exactly. or even eagle season tickets! [shouting over crowd] how do you know? you both have the new instant game from the pennsylvania lottery. yeah, the eagles instant game with top prizes of $50,000. and second chance prizes, including season tickets. [both sigh] the pennsylvania lottery. bring your dreams to life. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy:
if hillary clinton did -- were willing to do as many interviews as donald trump we would be covering her as much, as well. >> jimmyhat. you don't have to. your face says it all. [ laughter ] well, it's very good to see you. i wish you the best tomorrow. i can't wait to see it. i really can't. tomorrow night the republican candidates debate live on cnn, 8:00 eastern. jake tapper is the moderator. thank you, jake. we'll be right back with cold war kids! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >>...
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Sep 16, 2015
09/15
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. >> jimmy: donald trump. ald trump. >> steve: all right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: please sit down. [ laughter ] donald trump gave a big speech in dallas last night and began by pointing out that he wasn't using a teleprompter. then he yelled at gary busey to hold the cue cards higher. [ laughter ] "sorry, sir, this -- pineapple spaceship!" [ applause ] seems like everyone is weighing in on trump. in fact the creator of "dilbert" -- did you hear about this? he predicted that trump will win the presidency and also compared him to jesus. [ laughter ] and people hope he's right, because they would love a a three-day break from donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] a little tiny -- just give me three days. and this isn't good here. i read that jeb bush has seen a a drop in campaign donations lately. he's been forced to take commercial flights to campaign events. [ audience aws ] it got weird when the airline said they lost jeb's baggage and he was like, "you lost my brother?" [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] "no
. >> jimmy: donald trump. ald trump. >> steve: all right. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: please sit down. [ laughter ] donald trump gave a big speech in dallas last night and began by pointing out that he wasn't using a teleprompter. then he yelled at gary busey to hold the cue cards higher. [ laughter ] "sorry, sir, this -- pineapple spaceship!" [ applause ] seems like everyone is weighing in on trump. in fact the creator of "dilbert" -- did you hear about...
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Sep 29, 2015
09/15
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. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about donald trump. do you know donald trump? >> i do know donald trump. >> jimmy: have you spent personal time with him? >> i have spent personal time. >> jimmy: as a doctor, what is your specialty area? >> you just said i was a quack. now you want me to -- >> jimmy: i would never say that about you, please. >> not with me here. >> jimmy: take that back. that's right, i don't ever say you're a quack. >> you said it in the intro. >> jimmy: i make a quacking noise sometimes. i don't think you're a quack. you're on tv, sometimes there's a simple answer to these things and maybe they aren't so simple. what would your diagnosis be of him? >> well, i project into the future. and i wonder sometimes just exactly how diplomacy would play out with him. if let's say we were in a real tight, tense situation with another world power. and he decided to make [ bleep ] up. and he decided to claim that we had 4,000 submarines in their harbor. and we didn't have any, or something. i just wonder if that might -- i just wonder if he might lack in di
. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about donald trump. do you know donald trump? >> i do know donald trump. >> jimmy: have you spent personal time with him? >> i have spent personal time. >> jimmy: as a doctor, what is your specialty area? >> you just said i was a quack. now you want me to -- >> jimmy: i would never say that about you, please. >> not with me here. >> jimmy: take that back. that's right, i don't ever say you're a quack. >>...
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Sep 18, 2015
09/15
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order now and get the donald trump alarm clock free. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: donald trump went into this debate as the front-runner. and according to donald trump, emerged as the winner. he tweeted today, every poll done on debate last night from drudge to "time" magazine had me winning in a landslide. it's true. all the polls i saw did have him winning dat bail last nate. this is interesting, the odds of donald trump getting the nomination went down significantly. he was at 20% before the debate. according to the cnn political prediction market, slipped down to 12% after it. however, the odds of him winning next season's "last comic standing" went way up. [ laughter ] krts [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there was a lot of talk last night about corner policy and upon foreigners and illegal immigration and building walls. but we don't -- you know what, we don't build walls. we build bridges. and we build bears across the street at build a bear. that said it's time to play "foreigner or not." please join me at the wall of america. the people have brought us this bea
order now and get the donald trump alarm clock free. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: donald trump went into this debate as the front-runner. and according to donald trump, emerged as the winner. he tweeted today, every poll done on debate last night from drudge to "time" magazine had me winning in a landslide. it's true. all the polls i saw did have him winning dat bail last nate. this is interesting, the odds of donald trump getting the nomination went down...
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Sep 17, 2015
09/15
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donald trump. >> oh, hello, donald. >> jimmy fallon channels donald trump to give hillary some campaign advice. what he told her on "tonight show." you're watching "today in new it's not about hugging trees. it's not about being wasteful either. you just gotta find that balance. where taking care of yourself takes care of more than just yourself. lease an mkz hybrid for $299 a month >>> welcome back. 70 degrees. it's thursday morning. looking at the l.i.e. islanders fans, your team's getting a new look. the familiar orange and blue jerseys are not going away, but to mark the team's move to the barclays center in brooklyn, they unveiled these alternate black jerseys. they resemble the jerseys worn by the team they share the barclays center with, the brooklyn nets. that's what i thought when i first saw it. >> do they stick with the traditional orange and blue or do they make the subtle transformation? >> well, they changed locations. it'll be interesting to see. but they have a lot of tradition. a lot of stanley cups in those uniforms. >> they'd look like the l.a. kings with just the black and w
donald trump. >> oh, hello, donald. >> jimmy fallon channels donald trump to give hillary some campaign advice. what he told her on "tonight show." you're watching "today in new it's not about hugging trees. it's not about being wasteful either. you just gotta find that balance. where taking care of yourself takes care of more than just yourself. lease an mkz hybrid for $299 a month >>> welcome back. 70 degrees. it's thursday morning. looking at the l.i.e....
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Sep 12, 2015
09/15
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jimmy: yeah. mr. party, they call him. [ laughter ] mr. party. ♪ thank you, donald trump the show tonight. and in every monologue we've done the past few months. thank you very much, donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: the gift that keeps on giving. >> jimmy: it's a dream, it's a a dream. ♪ thank you, rosh hashanah, for sounding less like a jewish holiday and more like how tom brokaw says "russian sauna." [ laughter ] [ as brokaw ] "rosh hashanah. r --rosh hashanah. [ mumbling ] you've reached tom brokaw. leave your name and number after the beep." >> steve: beep, boop. >> jimmy: "hey, tom, it's me, just checking in. i check my own messages, i call myself." sorry. >> steve: beep beep, boop boop. >> jimmy: "i'm about to go to a a russian sauna." [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, dr. ben carson, for not only looking like a viable candidate for president, but also looking like the stock photo on every health insurance brochure. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, the new apple pencil, for looking like someone rolled my ipad up into a joint. [ laughter and applause ] ♪
jimmy: yeah. mr. party, they call him. [ laughter ] mr. party. ♪ thank you, donald trump the show tonight. and in every monologue we've done the past few months. thank you very much, donald trump. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: the gift that keeps on giving. >> jimmy: it's a dream, it's a a dream. ♪ thank you, rosh hashanah, for sounding less like a jewish holiday and more like how tom brokaw says "russian sauna." [ laughter ] [ as brokaw ] "rosh hashanah. r...
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tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- donald trump, terrence howard, musical guest pharrell williams,nd featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 327, arkansas! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. how are you? hey. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about! hot crowd, tonight! you're looking good. welcome. welcome, welcome, everyone. welcome to "the tonight show." thank you so much for being here. this is it. [ cheers and applause ] welcome -- [ cheers and applause ] -- to "the tonight show." "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon", or as one of my guests is calling it, "the tonight show starring donald trump, featuring a guest appearance by jimmy fallon." [ laughter and applause ] we should change the logo. of course, everyone is talking about trump these days. in fact, yesterday, republican candidate bobby jindal was ked about donald trump's controversial comments this week on carly fiorina's appearance. check out what he had to say. >> he said some things in "rolling stone" about carly fiorina that have attrac
tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- donald trump, terrence howard, musical guest pharrell williams,nd featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 327, arkansas! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. how are you? hey. [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about! hot crowd, tonight! you're looking good. welcome. welcome, welcome, everyone. welcome to "the tonight show." thank you so much for being...
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Sep 11, 2015
09/15
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jimmy: it's going to be huge! [ laughter and applause ] it's pretty cool, though. he chose our show to go on. it's the first late night appearance that donald trumpt's gonna be great. >> jimmy: i don't know what's gonna go down. it's going to be fun. plus, also, from the hit show "empire", my man terrance howard will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] he's great. and we're going to do this thing tomorrow night. it is so cool. we have music from pharrell williams, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] a performance unlike anything you've ever seen before. it's really, really gonna be fun. if we can pull it off, it's really cool. [ light laughter ] you never know. i don't want to make promises in case we don't pull it off. they'll be like, "that was it?" "yeah, no, that -- we had something else planned." it's going to be really, really big. and also, of course, i want to remind everybody, next wednesday, we're talking with the leading democratic presidential candidate, hillary clinton. [ cheers and applause ] she will be here as well. how fun? this is unbelievably fun. we get to talk to these candidates. but first, joining us tonight, he's a good
jimmy: it's going to be huge! [ laughter and applause ] it's pretty cool, though. he chose our show to go on. it's the first late night appearance that donald trumpt's gonna be great. >> jimmy: i don't know what's gonna go down. it's going to be fun. plus, also, from the hit show "empire", my man terrance howard will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] he's great. and we're going to do this thing tomorrow night. it is so cool. we have music from pharrell williams, you guys....
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Sep 1, 2015
09/15
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chris christie dropped by "the tonight show" to campaign to jimmy fallon. >> donald trump is in the lead of all these polls. is this a surprise to you? >> oh, no, i completely expected that. everything he does is beautiful and wonderful. life is a strange ride, gym. we'll keep riding it. i'm not worried about donald or anybody else. i'm worried about me. we will see what happens. >> the straight talker in the campaign until donald trump got involved was chris christie. now he found himself second fiddle or third fiddle to donald trump. it is interesting. >> life is an interesting ride. you do have to keep riding it. >>> joe biden set to take place in the labor day parade. estimated 60,000 union members. this is an effort to gauge support for the democratic nomination. >>> and president obama will be in the alaska wilderness today. he is planning a glacier hike of the bay. he is using the arctic as a backdrop of the climate agenda. he is taking global warming deniers to task at a conference in anchorage. we have jim acosta all the way from alaska with latest. >> reporter: john and christi
chris christie dropped by "the tonight show" to campaign to jimmy fallon. >> donald trump is in the lead of all these polls. is this a surprise to you? >> oh, no, i completely expected that. everything he does is beautiful and wonderful. life is a strange ride, gym. we'll keep riding it. i'm not worried about donald or anybody else. i'm worried about me. we will see what happens. >> the straight talker in the campaign until donald trump got involved was chris...
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Sep 12, 2015
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>> the money, that i have a lot of money. >> jimmy: you don't like that. >> donald trump says huge a instead of saying huge, he says huge. and i'm huge. >> jimmy: huge. what do you think of him, tanner? >> he is an elephant. >> jimmy: you mean because he is a republican he is an elephant. >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: let's look at the donkeys. >> democracy can't just be for billionaires and corporations. prosperity and democracy are part of your basic bargain too. >> no. >> jimmy: what do you think that means? >> we have no idea. >> jimmy: it means pretty much nothing. it means nothing. >> i don't want her as a president. because i heard on the news, she sent bad e-mails. >> jimmy: what kind of e-mails did she send? >> i don't know. but i don't want her as our president. >> jimmy: do you think you should see the e-mails first before you decide? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what would be a bad e-mail. what would be a bad e-mail? >> the s word. >> jimmy: the s word. unless i'm mistaken, the s word is sunny, right? >> nope. >> jimmy: it isn't? >> starts with the s-h. >> jimmy: oh, shoulders. >> no. >>
>> the money, that i have a lot of money. >> jimmy: you don't like that. >> donald trump says huge a instead of saying huge, he says huge. and i'm huge. >> jimmy: huge. what do you think of him, tanner? >> he is an elephant. >> jimmy: you mean because he is a republican he is an elephant. >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: let's look at the donkeys. >> democracy can't just be for billionaires and corporations. prosperity and democracy are part of your...
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Sep 22, 2015
09/15
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trump and carson make up 30% to 40% of republican support. but carly fiorina is surging to second place since the last debate, appearing tonight on jimmy fallon. >> donald trump recently said that vladimir putin said he wants to meet with trump when he comes here. >> the two of them have a lot in common, actually. >> as for carson, he tells me he would be happy to meet with the group calling on him to step down. a representative from the organization said carson is simply wrong, that islam is inconsistent with the constitution. >> hallie jackson, thank you. >>> another major story tonight, in washington, d.c., new york and philadelphia, are bracing for what is being called an unprecedented security event as pope francis arrives in the u.s. tomorrow. he is currently taking part in a historic visit to cuba. our team is there and we'll show you that in a moment. but first nbc's stephanie gosk on the massive undertaking here in america to protect the pope. >> reporter: on the east river in new york city, the nypd shows off the newest boat. >> the cabin itself is bullet resistant. >> reporter: just a small part of the unprecedented security operation for the
trump and carson make up 30% to 40% of republican support. but carly fiorina is surging to second place since the last debate, appearing tonight on jimmy fallon. >> donald trump recently said that vladimir putin said he wants to meet with trump when he comes here. >> the two of them have a lot in common, actually. >> as for carson, he tells me he would be happy to meet with the group calling on him to step down. a representative from the organization said carson is simply...
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Sep 17, 2015
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and before sitting down with jimmy fallon, hillary clinton got some advice from none other than donald trump win? here is what you got to do. first, yell. i yell all the time. next, pick three things everyone loves and say you hate them. watch, puppies, stupid. rainbow, total losers. fall foliage, tree puberty. are you writing all this down? >> hold on. let me grab my pen. ask your doctor now about prescription kerydin. used daily, kerydin drops may kill the fungus at the site of infection and get to the root of your toe tucking. kerydin may cause irritation at the treated site. most common side effects include skin peeling... ...ingrown toenail, redness, itching, and swelling. tell your doctor if you have any side effect that bothers you or does not go away. stop toe tucking... and get the drop on toenail fungus. ask your doctor today about kerydin. quilted northern works their bathroom experience. just like they forgot conductor randy, who sees all and forgets nothing. at least he's not constable bob. >>> leading the news from nbc news.com. small number of u.s. trained syrian rebels still
and before sitting down with jimmy fallon, hillary clinton got some advice from none other than donald trump win? here is what you got to do. first, yell. i yell all the time. next, pick three things everyone loves and say you hate them. watch, puppies, stupid. rainbow, total losers. fall foliage, tree puberty. are you writing all this down? >> hold on. let me grab my pen. ask your doctor now about prescription kerydin. used daily, kerydin drops may kill the fungus at the site of...
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Sep 5, 2015
09/15
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WNBC
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best wishes, donald trump." [ laughter ] [ sharpie squeaking ] >> steve: best wishes. >> jimmy: best wishes, donald trump. yeah. it's not very nice, but we actually were able to get some footage of kareem's response. take a look at this. >> best wishes? >> jimmy: there you go right there. [ cheers and applause ] well, a little international news here. the president of guatemala otto perez molina resigned yesterday after a judge ruled to jail him because of a fraud scandal. but today, another judge overruled it. which means that next week, molina will be starting for the new england patriots. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i think i read that correctly. i don't know. yeah. some celebrity news. kim kardashian reached 45 million followers on instagram yesterday and celebrated the only way she knows how, by establishing a a public awareness campaign to raise money to build wells in southern sudan. just kidding. she posted another selfie. [ laughter and applause ] didn't do anything good. just posted another selfie. don't worry about that. meanwhile, miley cyrus posted yet another nu
best wishes, donald trump." [ laughter ] [ sharpie squeaking ] >> steve: best wishes. >> jimmy: best wishes, donald trump. yeah. it's not very nice, but we actually were able to get some footage of kareem's response. take a look at this. >> best wishes? >> jimmy: there you go right there. [ cheers and applause ] well, a little international news here. the president of guatemala otto perez molina resigned yesterday after a judge ruled to jail him because of a fraud...
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911
Sep 25, 2015
09/15
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WCAU
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eye 911
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oh, wi. [ laughter ] [ speaking in french ] >> jimmy: now we're doing donald trump. [ laughter ] [ cheersah. >> jimmy: you're fantastic. not only do you speak french in the movie, which i knew that you spoke french, then you have to speak in english with a a french accent. >> yep. [ french accent ] >> jimmy: which is very tricky. talking like on the wire. i could never have made it. >> sounds exactly like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it does not, but man, you're so believable and fantastic. >> thank you, man. thank you. >> jimmy: oh my gosh. this guy is just an artist. he's a wire walker. is that what you would call him? >> yeah, well, that's exactly it. you know, he's half a brilliant artist and half completely out of his mind. >> jimmy: yeah. how would you come up with this idea? you go, "oh, i wanna walk on a a wire across the twin towers." >> exactly. >> jimmy: you know you can't get permission. >> but that's the thing. is we all have these things in our life that are impossible. we know we can't do them, but isn't it great when you really try to do them, anyway? and that's why i find hi
oh, wi. [ laughter ] [ speaking in french ] >> jimmy: now we're doing donald trump. [ laughter ] [ cheersah. >> jimmy: you're fantastic. not only do you speak french in the movie, which i knew that you spoke french, then you have to speak in english with a a french accent. >> yep. [ french accent ] >> jimmy: which is very tricky. talking like on the wire. i could never have made it. >> sounds exactly like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it does not, but man, you're...
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Sep 12, 2015
09/15
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donald trump stopped by "the tonight show" last night and what resulted was part trump being trump. katy tur has the story. >> reporter: trumping fal lon. >> starring jimmy double dose of the donald. >> how am i going to get mexico to build the wall? easy. i'll challenge them to the biggest game of xanga ever. i'll make them set up the board and when they finish i'll say i don't want to play anymore. >> reporter: trump trading his muscle for his comedic tongue but still campaigning. >> who would be the person at the debate you are targeting? who is your biggest threat? >> in terms of targeting any voter but i want them to vote, i want them to love trump and them to know i'll do a great job. as far as candidates, you know, to me they are all the same. >> reporter: the republican leader pulling his punches on stage and off friday even tweeting a gracious for him farewell to rick perry. after the former texas governor announced he was suspending his campaign writing@govern perry is a terrific guy and i wish him well. i know he will have a great future. a sharp turn in tone from the lashing he gave carly fiorina in "rolling stone" on thursday criticizing her
donald trump stopped by "the tonight show" last night and what resulted was part trump being trump. katy tur has the story. >> reporter: trumping fal lon. >> starring jimmy double dose of the donald. >> how am i going to get mexico to build the wall? easy. i'll challenge them to the biggest game of xanga ever. i'll make them set up the board and when they finish i'll say i don't want to play anymore. >> reporter: trump trading his muscle for his comedic tongue...
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Sep 12, 2015
09/15
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CNNW
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still to come, donald trump talks to jimmy fallon dressed as donald trump. very funny.mp's expense. who's laughing? my li'l buddy? and what if this happened again? i was given warfarin in the hospital but i wondered if this was the right treatment for me. then my doctor told me about eliquis. eliquis treats dvt and pe blood clots and reduces the risk of them happening again. not only does eliquis treat dvt and pe blood clots, but eliquis also had significantly less major bleeding than the standard treatment. knowing eliquis had both... turned around my thinking. don't stop eliquis unless your doctor tells you to. eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. don't take eliquis if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. if you had a spinal injection while on eliquis call your doctor right away if you have tingling, numbness, or muscle weakness. while taking eliquis, you may bruise more easily... and it may take longer than usual for bleeding to stop. seek immediate medical care for sudden signs of bleeding, like unusual bruising. eliquis ma
still to come, donald trump talks to jimmy fallon dressed as donald trump. very funny.mp's expense. who's laughing? my li'l buddy? and what if this happened again? i was given warfarin in the hospital but i wondered if this was the right treatment for me. then my doctor told me about eliquis. eliquis treats dvt and pe blood clots and reduces the risk of them happening again. not only does eliquis treat dvt and pe blood clots, but eliquis also had significantly less major bleeding than the...
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Sep 15, 2015
09/15
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WABC
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>> jimmy: for me it's a lot of fun. people know who donald trump is. >> me too. >> jimmy: he's got the hair, he says crazy things, and he's not afraid to make fun of people. and it's not boring. which really is what you want more than anything. >> that first debate, it was incredible the numbers, the most-watched debate in i don't know how long. >> jimmy: i hadn't heard him mention that. >> he's never said that. never called anyone a loser. >> jimmy: he's trying to keep that under his make america great again hat. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, you're doing a great job. and it's great to have you. and keep making people cry and flying up to the fires. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: david muir, everybody. "world news tonight." weeknights on abc. be right back with casey musgraves! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. thirst for the extraordinary. ahhh perrier! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank my guests sofia vergara, david m
>> jimmy: for me it's a lot of fun. people know who donald trump is. >> me too. >> jimmy: he's got the hair, he says crazy things, and he's not afraid to make fun of people. and it's not boring. which really is what you want more than anything. >> that first debate, it was incredible the numbers, the most-watched debate in i don't know how long. >> jimmy: i hadn't heard him mention that. >> he's never said that. never called anyone a loser. >> jimmy:...
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Sep 1, 2015
09/15
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WABC
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trump. >> jimmy: got to ring in. >> sorry. >> there you are with donald trump. >> that one i give him glasses look like men in black with the glasses in new york. remember, i do, i touch his hair. >> jimmy: you did touch his hair. >> i thought he has -- >> you have a tie game here, yaya. the next celebrity is this woman. >> this lady. >> jimmy: yes. >> oh, that lady she music. she win oscar. she marry english guy. >> jimmy: she did not win an oscar. >> she is famous. she does music. >> jimmy: maybe a little bit, yeah. >> marry one guy, english guy. long hair. english accent. >> jimmy: briefly marry. >> separate from him now. >> madonna. >> jimmy: no, she -- >> she is young. >> i guessed madonna. >> she does change hair color every time. >> jimmy: yaya, tell us who that is? >> taylor swift! i forget. katy perry. katy perry. >> jimmy: our next celebrity is? who is this gentleman? >> this guy is actor, director. >> ben affleck. >> from new york. >> jimmy: not ben affleck. >> more clues, yaya. >> his marry, he has his daughter. she coming up. he marry her and leave his wife. >> wadoody allen! whoo! whoo! >> jimmy: very
trump. >> jimmy: got to ring in. >> sorry. >> there you are with donald trump. >> that one i give him glasses look like men in black with the glasses in new york. remember, i do, i touch his hair. >> jimmy: you did touch his hair. >> i thought he has -- >> you have a tie game here, yaya. the next celebrity is this woman. >> this lady. >> jimmy: yes. >> oh, that lady she music. she win oscar. she marry english guy. >> jimmy: she...
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Sep 15, 2015
09/15
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. >> jimmy: could you get donald trump to admit to a mistake? next. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that would be something. if you can get him to cry. >> i have to say, say what you will about hillary clinton, she came to play in that interview. we were not easy, we asked tough questioned, and she answered them. we would do it with any candidate. i've been in the field covering campaigns for years, presidential campaigns, and they put a lot on the line to do this. i know it seems like a circus to watch but it's a lot they give of themselves. >> jimmy: well, yeah, yeah. do you look forward to -- did you look at this donald trump candidacy as something that is a positive? >> well, he started the conversation a lot earlier, i think, than america usually gets talking about the presidential race. so i actually think that donald trump, you know, say what you will, i think a lot of people first thought, is this a reality show i'm watching? this is the real thing. his poll numbers are going up. he has america talking about the election f
. >> jimmy: could you get donald trump to admit to a mistake? next. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that would be something. if you can get him to cry. >> i have to say, say what you will about hillary clinton, she came to play in that interview. we were not easy, we asked tough questioned, and she answered them. we would do it with any candidate. i've been in the field covering campaigns for years, presidential campaigns, and they put a lot on the line to do...
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Sep 22, 2015
09/15
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KNTV
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donald trump. >>> walker isn't the only one taking shots at trump. gop presidential hopeful carly fiorina brought her campaign to late-night television appearing with jimmy fallon. >> donald trump has recently said that he wants, vladimir putin saying he wants to meet with trump when he comes here and sit down and have a conversation with him. you met putin. >> two of them have a lot in common, actually. but we'll just leave it at that. >> fiorina is now second to trump and the latest gop presidential polls. >>> with all that coming up now, breaking new carjacking suspect shot to death by deputies in the east bay. the latest on the investigation, next. joining us. i'm laura garcia cannon. >>> a very good tuesday morning to you. thank you for joining us, i'm laura garcia-cannon. >> i'm sam brock. more heat on the way. let's check in right now with kari hall. >> at least we catch a little bit of a break today. temperatures going back up in time for the end of the week. enjoy today while we get this break from the sizzling temperatures we had yesterday. it's right at about 60 degrees across most of the bay and today's high will be 71 degrees in san francisc
donald trump. >>> walker isn't the only one taking shots at trump. gop presidential hopeful carly fiorina brought her campaign to late-night television appearing with jimmy fallon. >> donald trump has recently said that he wants, vladimir putin saying he wants to meet with trump when he comes here and sit down and have a conversation with him. you met putin. >> two of them have a lot in common, actually. but we'll just leave it at that. >> fiorina is now second to...
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Sep 22, 2015
09/15
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WABC
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some of trump's solutions are pretty good. >> jimmy: if i was donald trump i'd be friendly to you over the coming months. bill o'reilly. read his book "killing reagan." it's available now. we'll be right back with the muppets! i sure had a lot on my mind when i got out of the hospital after a dvt blood clot. what about my family? my li'l buddy? and what if this happened again? i was given warfarin in the hospital but i wondered if this was the right treatment for me. then my doctor told me about eliquis. eliquis treats dvt and pe blood clots and reduces the risk of them happening again. not only does eliquis treat dvt and pe blood clots, but eliquis also had significantly less major bleeding than the standard treatment. knowing eliquis had both... turned around my thinking. don't stop eliquis unless your doctor tells you to. eliquis can cause serious and in rare cases fatal bleeding. don't take eliquis if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. call your doctor right away if you have tingling, numbness, or muscle weakness. while taking eliquis, you may bruise more easi
some of trump's solutions are pretty good. >> jimmy: if i was donald trump i'd be friendly to you over the coming months. bill o'reilly. read his book "killing reagan." it's available now. we'll be right back with the muppets! i sure had a lot on my mind when i got out of the hospital after a dvt blood clot. what about my family? my li'l buddy? and what if this happened again? i was given warfarin in the hospital but i wondered if this was the right treatment for me. then my...
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Sep 1, 2015
09/15
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CNNW
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if you can't win iowa, maybe you can win jimmy fallon. >> donald trump now is the leader of all of thee to you? >> oh, no. i expected that. didn't you? >> no. >> of course. everything he does is fabulous and amazing. life is a strange ride, jimmy. we'll just keep riding it. the fact it is doesn't matter. i'm not worried about donald. i have to worry about me. i do what i do and we will see what happens. >> joe biden is set to join in the largest labor day parades this weekend. he will march in pittsburgh this weekend with 60,000 union members. observers say this is an effort to gauge support for a possible run for the democratic nomination. >> biden is thinking about it. >>> president obama will be in the alaskan wilderness today. he will take a boat tour of the bay and he will use the arctic as a back drop for the climate agenda. he has taken global warming deniers to task in an unusually blunt speech at the conference in anchorage. our white house correspondent jim acosta is there. >> reporter: john and christine, president obama has arrived in alaska to deliver what he believes to b
if you can't win iowa, maybe you can win jimmy fallon. >> donald trump now is the leader of all of thee to you? >> oh, no. i expected that. didn't you? >> no. >> of course. everything he does is fabulous and amazing. life is a strange ride, jimmy. we'll just keep riding it. the fact it is doesn't matter. i'm not worried about donald. i have to worry about me. i do what i do and we will see what happens. >> joe biden is set to join in the largest labor day parades...
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Sep 12, 2015
09/15
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KNTV
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tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- donald trump, terrence howard,
tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- donald trump, terrence howard,
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Sep 17, 2015
09/15
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WNYW
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juliet: doing a skit with jimmy fallon dressed up once again as donald trump. later on sitting down with it for a more serious interview was asking about but e-mail scandal-plagued erica payne. >> the most significant one that has come to life because this was a really important issue, i had to talk about it on the e-mail, i was asked if i could for it to be used in time for passover. >> these are top secret e-mails. juliet: her first late-night appearance as a presidential candidate, clinton also visited the ellen degeneres show. all right, police said at 10-year-old girl was kidnapped by her parents who don't have legal custody of her and maybe in the bronx. hicks was last seen in manhattan tuesday afternoon wearing a yellow shirt with the logo castled middle school. police say she was taken by her father, and jack lead hendrix, imam. they may be traveling in a 1993 white chevy lumina with new mexico license plates. she is 5 foot 4, 120 pounds, black hair and brown eyes. if you spotted the car and you know where these people are please call police. ben: the a
juliet: doing a skit with jimmy fallon dressed up once again as donald trump. later on sitting down with it for a more serious interview was asking about but e-mail scandal-plagued erica payne. >> the most significant one that has come to life because this was a really important issue, i had to talk about it on the e-mail, i was asked if i could for it to be used in time for passover. >> these are top secret e-mails. juliet: her first late-night appearance as a presidential...
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Sep 1, 2015
09/15
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WNBC
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that are plastic, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you have donald trump now is the lead. he's in the lead of all these polls. is this a surprise to you? do you know -- >> oh, no. i completely expected that. didn't you? >> jimmy: no. >> course. everything he does is fabulous, spectacular, wonderful, amazing. >> jimmy: yes, huge, yes. >> huge, yeah. it's the best. >> jimmy: but this is -- when i talked to you last time, you weren't even sure you were going to run. >> right. >> jimmy: now you're running. but i didn't know donald trump was going to run. and now trump is running and boy is he just going out and he's yelling and saying stuff. i thought that was going to be your thing. [ laughter ] because i thought you're the guy who'd go out and you'd yell and say stuff. well, you do at least to me when you come on my show, yeah. and so i assumed -- but that's his thing now and people, it seems that people are eating it up. they love it. >> you know, life is a strange, strange ride, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we'll just keep riding it. i mean, fact is, it doesn't really matter.
that are plastic, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you have donald trump now is the lead. he's in the lead of all these polls. is this a surprise to you? do you know -- >> oh, no. i completely expected that. didn't you? >> jimmy: no. >> course. everything he does is fabulous, spectacular, wonderful, amazing. >> jimmy: yes, huge, yes. >> huge, yeah. it's the best. >> jimmy: but this is -- when i talked to you last time, you weren't even sure you were...