we'll be watching "jimmy fallon" on the web. re your parents still around? >> yes, they are. >> jimmy: aren't they proud that anyone in the country can listen to you on elvisduran.com 'cause you're on a little radio station. >> does your mother ever listen and go, "jimmy, why do you say that crap? you've embarrassed me?" >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] >> mine does. we talk about everything. no, they're very proud of me as long as they don't listen. >> jimmy: i think it's so cool, man. i just want to say i think you're doing a great job and your crew does a great job and i'm just a fan of yours. >> may we make out now? >> jimmy: no! [ laughter ] ♪ no making out. no making out. i do want to ask you a favor, if you could. >> oh, here we go. >> jimmy: could you just read this in your deejay voice? >> really? >> jimmy: yeah? >> are you ready to throw it? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's 1:20 in the a.m. and you're watching "late night with jimmy fallon." we'll be right back with dispatch! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: elvis duran! elvis duran

nbc, home of "late night with jimmy fallon." how ya like me now? nd applause ] >> jimmy: i guess i like you the same as before. i don't know anything about you. so -- >> well, i know everything about you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's just -- that's just freaky. you're freaking me out. >> you did it again, man. freaky, "late night with jimmy fallon" that took me a second but i see where you're going with that one, too. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> come on. "freaky"? freaky, "freaky friday," "friday the 13th," jason voorhees, lark voorhies, bring you back to lisa turtle from "saved by the bell," belle and sebastian, sebastian the crab, bring you back to "the little mermaid," and then i'm gonna talk about ariel. ariel sharon, samuel l. jackson, "snakes on a plane," "strangers on a train," hitchcock, hancock, he signed the declaration of independence, "independence day," with will smith, circling back to back to "hancock" with will smith, it's a double dip for the fresh prince, "big willie style," "free willy" style, he's jumping over the kid,

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, man! that's the type of energy you want! that was the best in the world. makes you feel so good! you, at home, too, welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." so happy to be guys today. it's going to be a fun one. i can feel it. i can feel it. it's a special episode. you guys, get this. president obama was just ranked 108th in the new list from golf digest of the top 150 golfers in the political world. [ light laughter ] but i hear he's improving. last week in pakistan he shot two holes in one. [ laughter and applause ] i heard that. i heard that. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i heard that. yeah. >> steve: he marked it with a tiny pencil. >> jimmy: did you hear about this? cbs was in patiently in talks with hugh grant replacing charlie sheen on "two and a half men." it would be a lot different. i mean, charlie sheen -- charlie sheen loves

it's hours and hours of fun. [ in unison ] >> thank you, jimmy fallon! body say my name? [ screaming ] >> i'm scared! >> steve: the "thank you notes" book from "late night with jimmy fallon." coming to bookstores may 23rd. preorder now. operator dogs g [ ]badongrk [ dog bark ] [ applause ] ♪ ♪give me land lots of land ♪under starry skies above ♪don't fence me in ♪let me ride through the wide open country♪ ♪don't fence me in... the nokia astound smartphone music video games ...and more available exclusively at t-mobile we make it sizzle and snap. and now so can you. ♪ ignite the night with p.f. chang's home menu. the boldest flavors in the freezer aisle. you swap his ride. the f150 definitely beats out the silverado in quality. know anything about the ecoboost engine? it's a v6 but it's got the power of a v8. i need the power but i don't wanna have to sacrifice the gas mileage. luxury on the inside with an animal under the hood. this is by far, the best truck on the road. you still a chevy guy? no! swap your ride and get a ford f150 with 0% financing for 6

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! hey! look at this crowd right here. hey! that was fantastic. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon!" i'm so excited, you guys, in honor of fleet week, tonight's audience is made up entirely of servicemen and women. unlike -- [ cheers and applause ] unlike arnold schwarzenegger's staff, which is made up entirely of women who serviced him. [ laughter ] [ as schwarzenegger ] "mildred, get over here!" that's right we have an all military audience. and we have "stone cold" steve austin on the show. why do i feel like i'm going to get my ass kicked? [ laughter ] we have thousands of servicemen and women in town -- new york city for fleet week. so if you see them out at a bar, buy them a shot. in fact, buy them two shots in honor of the one -- [ cheers and applause ] in fact, buy them two shots in honor of the ones th

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. welcome to "late night." welcome to "late night," everybody. i'm jimmy fallon. i'm your host for this evening. [ cheers ] it's going to be a great show tonight. hey, you guys, listen -- listen to this. arnold schwarzenegger and maria shriver have put their former mansion on the market for $23.5 million. yeah. and it's not -- it's not that clean though because they had a maid, but she was always busy doing other stuff. [ laughter ] she couldn't be bothered cleaning it. i don't know what -- did you hear this though? arnold schwarzenegger is planning to make his hollywood comeback by voicing a children's cartoon. [ laughter ] yeah. arnold was like, i love making kids shows. i love making kids movies. i love making kids. [ laughter ] serious. it's fun. this is cool. today president obama said that hilary clinton is approaching 1 mi

i love that you watch. >> with one eye open, "'jimmy fallon' is on." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank your. something went down or something? >> well i was very, very concerned myself. it was a major surgery, but god is good. >> jimmy: yeah. well, you look fantastic [ cheers and applause ] so happy. so happy everything turned out okay. but it made you think of things that you still want to accomplish. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: like what things? >> well, let's see. stevie and i have got a thing together and smokey and i have got a thing together. [ cheers and applause ] i want to sail the nile, i'd love to do that. valley of the kings, the sphinx and all the little fabulous places in egypt. >> jimmy: but, i was always wondering, how come you didn't act anymore? >> well, i haven't gotten any offers that really sounded really good. >> jimmy: i mean, you were one of the best things in the "blues brothers." come on. >> i'm waiting. thank you, i'm waiting. >> jimmy: that was the best. [ cheers and applause ] i'd love to see that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's talk about this record right here. "a wom

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. thanks for being here on this great, great night. welcome. oh, man, this arnold schwarzenegger story just keeps getting worse. there are now rumors that arnold had a second secret child with a different woman. i know. i can't believe arnold would cheat on his mistress like that. i just can't believe it. i won't believe it. [ laughter ] here's some political news. this week, president obama offered $1 billion to egypt to boost the creation of new jobs. and if that works, they're going to try it here. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] speaking of the middle east, nato air strikes sank eight of moammar gadhafi's war ships yesterday. there you go. they used a very advanced technique to sink his battle ships. b8, c8, d8, e8. [ laughter ] [ as gadhafi ] "oh, you sunk my battle ship, bro. v

this official "late night with jimmy fallon," t-shirt, you guys. stick around. we'll be right back with eva mendes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] this is lara. her morning begins with arthritis pain. that's a coffee and two pills. the afternoon tour begins with more pain and more pills. the evening guests arrive. back to sore knees. back to more pills. the day is done but hang on... her doctor recommended aleve. just 2 pills can keep arthritis pain away all day with fewer pills than tylenol. this is lara who chose 2 aleve and fewer pills for a day free of pain. and get the all day pain relief of aleve in liquid gels. of samuel adams. (bob cannon) hops add a spicy, citrus flavor to sam adams. (jim koch) the best hops have been grown on family farms like stanglmair's for centuries.

great. >> this is -- this is the second time i've been pregnant on your show, jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: awesome. and close -- you're coming close, right? >> jimmy: around the bend. i saw you on "saturday night live" last week. you and tina both have -- >> geez. >> jimmy: -- the baby bump. >> that is aerodynamic. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: that is aerodynamic. that thing looks fake, y'all. that looks like i put a basketball over my baby. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, do you know -- do you know what it is, boy, girl, do you care, do you know secretly? do you want no one to know? >> i -- i want the world to know but for now i'm just going to go with me. i just believe in me. >> jimmy: a little me time. >> i do know what it is. >> jimmy: you do. >> i do. the doctor said that it is going to be a human. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! [ applause ] everyone is talking about this. it's on every blog. ♪ >> i was nervous. >> jimmy: how are your other kids reacting to the news of the new baby? >> great. they're pretty cute. well, pearl's 5 1/2. so she's like -- >> jimmy: she's 5 1/2. >> i know. and she's such a --

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! hey! how you doing, everybody? welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. it's going to about fun show. it's going to be a fun show tonight. hey, this is really interesting. a new study found that cleaning your house can increase stress. [ light laughter ] yeah. but so can hiring someone else to do it for you. just ask maria shriver. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] she is stressed. she is stressed out. she is stressed out. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: speaking of maria shriver, i read that she could end up with over $100 million from her divorce from arnold schwarzenegger. yeah. yeah, maria deserves that. i mean, she was his devoted wife and mother to at least 40% of his children. so, i mean, she deserves something. [ laughter ] i don't know want what to make of this. herman cain, the former ceo of go

[ laughter ] >> you'll never catch elmo on "jimmy fallon" anymore. alk. >> jimmy: now, you have this -- you've been on road trips. it's fun and you have a problem going to the bathroom when you go and -- elmo, look at me. >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're being -- elmo, you're being bratty. elmo, you're being -- [ laughter ] elmo, you're being a brat. you're being a little bit of a brat now. are you sorry? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: aw. [ audience aws ] >> yeah, jimmy, go ahead, go ahead. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, look, you guys. elmo has a gift. everyone is gonna go home with his great new dvd! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. he's the best. we love you so much, elmo! my thanks to elmo and to everyone and to everyone at "sesame workshop," the non-profit behind "sesame street." jennifer hudson performs next, everybody! elmo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪give me land lots of land ♪under starry skies above ♪don't fence me in ♪let me ride through the wide open country♪ ♪don't fence me in... the nokia astound smartphone music video game

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome. thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." good crowd. good crowd. i love it. good to be here. hey, this is really nice. i just heard that french first lady carla bruni is having a baby. yeah. or as arnold schwarzenegger calls it, "not mine." [ laughter ] i'm sure you saw this. arnold schwarzenegger revealed that he fathered a secret love child ten years ago. the weird thing is, he just slipped it into his speech and hoped no one was listening. [ as schwarzenegger ] we have to work on the budget problems and education and i fathered a child with a staffer and medicare, social security. so like, it's so crazy, everything -- what's that -- [ cheers and applause ] do you see, this, according to vice president biden's financial documents, he has less than $100,000 in savings. yeah. biden says the

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! what's going down? [ cheers and applause ] what a great crowd. thank you, guys. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." happy cinco de mayo, you guys! [ cheers and applause ] earlier tonight i drank eight coronas, six margaritas and four tequila shots. [ cheers and applause ] then someone told me it was cinco de mayo. i was like, "cool." [ laughter ] that's right. it's cinco de mayo, everybody. i celebrate it the way i do every year, by pressing "espanol" on the atm machine. [ laughter ] see if i can make it through, like, "uno, uno, tres, tres." listen to this. senate majority leader harry reid dislocated his shoulder. yeah, after his hand slipped on a parked car he was leaning on. [ light laughter ] so watch out, al qaeda. [ laughter ] what a lame story that is. everyone is still talking about osama bin laden. hil

last night on "late night with jimmy fallon," jimmy provides his audience with a little known detail >> last night bin laden was killed. believe it or not, his last words were i hope you at least use this to interrupt celebrity apprentice. why not? they did dna testing to prove the body actually belonged to osama bin laden. or as i put it, best episode of maury povich ever. you are the terrorist. no, you are. you don't know me. you don't know me. the u.s. said that bin laden was actually buried out at sea today. what a tough year for the ocean. first bp pumps oil into it. then radiation seeps in from japan. and then we're like, hey, do you mind? we're going to put osama bin laden in there. what did i do wrong? i'm the ocean. >> tonight jimmy welcomes actress whoopi goldberg, sesame street's elmo, and musical guest jennifer hudson. "late night with jimmy fallon," week nights 12:35. >>> it's time for your first look at entertainment news. charlie sheen has taken on many varied real life roles lately, but they keep getting more bizarre. yesterday, wearing a university of alabama jersey

it's hours and hours of fun. [ in unison ] >> thank you, jimmy fallon! mebody say my name? [ screaming ] >> i'm scared! >> steve: the "thank you notes" book from "late night with jimmy fallon." coming to bookstores may 23rd. preorder now. operator dogs are standing by. [ dog bark ] [ applause ] my contacts are so annoying. i can't wait to take 'em out. [ male announcer ] know the feeling? try acuvue® oasys brand contact lenses with hydraclear® plus for exceptional comfort. it feels like it disappeared on my eye! [ male announcer ] discover why it's the brand eye doctors trust most for comfort. acuvue® oasys brand. so why use a dirty dishwasher? hidden dirt can build up. for flawless results, use finish dishwasher cleaner to remove grease and limescale. and a cleaner dishwasher means amazing dishes. finish, the diamond standard. let's do this. you're a little early! [ female announcer ] prepare to ace your dental check-up. fight plaque and gingivitis and invigorate your way to better check-ups. new crest pro-health invigorating clean rinse. of some of the

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! that's a great new york city crowd. thank you so much, everybody. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." good guys, good. we're gonna have a fun show. hey, i just wanna say -- i just wanna say a big congratulations to jockey john velazquez, who won the kentucky derby this weekend. [ cheers and applause ] or as the horse put it, "yeah. all you, man. congrats. [ laughter and applause ] i don't know how you did it. you must be exhausted right now." some tv news. it was just announced that chris brown will be performing on the "today" show this summer, which explains the new nbc chime. [ nbc chime ] [ glass shattering ] [ laughter ] it's fine. everyone's fine. a little angry. little angry. roker puts him over the edge. it happens. this should be interesting. the pakistani government will start questioning osama bin laden's three

it's hours and hours of fun. [ in unison ] >> thank you, jimmy fallon! say my name? [ screaming ] >> i'm scared! >> steve: the "thank you notes" book from "late night with jimmy fallon." coming to bookstores may 23rd. y.eorder now. e standing by. [ dog bark ] [ applause ] host: could switching to geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? host: does the buck stop here? sfx: buck's blustery exhale. host: could switching to geico 15% or more on car insurance? host: does it take two to tango? ♪ i'm robin sue joss and my website is big red kitchen. i do believe in standards. cascade was a disappointment because you have dried on food stains. but when i took the finish challenge i realized, i don't need to settle. i like to make roast beef and it leaves a lot of baked on grease. so i threw it in the dishwasher, i did not pre-rinse. but when i open the dishwasher, everything was very shiny and no more gunk left on my dishes. i used to use cascade now i use finish quantum. take the finish challenge for yourself. if you don't see a difference, it's free

last night on late night with jimmy fallon he turned the spotlight on michelle obama who recently showedsome of her dance moves. >> this is cool while promoting her let's move campaign at a middle school, michelle obama danced the cha cha, running man and the dougy. she was just doing her impression of barack after they got bin laden. it was like -- a 90-year-old woman and a 100-year-old man recently became the oldest couple ever to get married. yeah. it was really sweet. first they exchanged vows and then they exchanged teeth. interesting. the couple actually wrote their own vows. i promise to love you for richer or poorer until next week when we depart. hard place to pick for their honeymoon, up the stars. >> tonight he has tina fey, and musical guest twin shadow. "late night with jimmy fallon" on your local nbc station. >>> it is time for your first look at entertainment news where relationship news takes center stage. after all the headlines, the phone tapes and court hearings, oksana grigorieva dropped her domestic violence claim against mel gibson. tmz reports she hopes the move wi

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! n -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys. that's a great crowd right there. thank you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. you guys feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] very good. this is completely, completely insane. just a month after misplacing a cobra, the bronx zoo spent today looking for its missing female peacock. [ laughter ] yeah. you know what else the bronx zoo should be looking for? a new zookeeper. [ laughter ] "it's just too much to keep track of. i got my keys, i got my hat. did i mention my keys? i got to keep track of those things. [ laughter ] where are my keys?" actually, i'm not surprised nobody was watching the peacock. i mean, take a look at it. [ laughter ] yeah. [ applause ] pretty much anything before 12:37 -- [ laughter ] -- that's when they start watching. this is pretty crazy. a tsa screener in kansas city is facing criticism for giving a pat down to an 8-month-old baby. i mean, right?

they were paying tribute to you, jimmy fallon, at the paley center. >> jimmy: it was very nice. >> soer is like a -- like a museum of television. >> yeah, they archive a bunch of great media and, you know -- and so, now, we are archived in their media. >> jimmy: yeah, that was fun. >> but, can i tell the story about what happened backstage? >> jimmy: it was so ridiculous. >> so -- this has never happened to me before and i've been working in television for a long time. >> jimmy: yeah. >> the audio guy came in and he was wearing those ridiculous gorilla feet shoes. right? >> jimmy: you know those? they're these new shoes that are like feet. >> everyone's gotta have some hippie in their life that's like, "oh, they'll change your life." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you're like, "please." it's like your toes go into like -- >> they're like the -- yeah. >> jimmy: it's like a wetsuit for your toes. >> they look awful and they're the new fanny packs, in my opinion, right? they're the new fanny packs. [ laughter ] they're like, "they're practical!" like, "but they look weird!" >> jimmy: they'

so where -- so, like social media or on my website or on the jimmy fallon "late night" website. >> jimmy: so what? so you're just looking for somebody to edit and -- >> well they're gonna coordinate a lot of things they'll actually also be involved in bringing water to jimmy fallon, when he's on set. or helping isabella rossellini get from her house to where we're going or finding the right steak for me to grill for this particular segment. >> jimmy: how did you get -- how did you get involved with monster.com? >> well, monster gave me a call, said, "hey, how'd you like to do this deal? we'll give you some money and we'll help you find the person." and i said, "that sounds great." >> jimmy: yeah, 'cause then you get both. >> right. exactly. >> jimmy: 'cause i never heard of anyone doing this -- just going to monster -- going like -- >> well, ashton kutcher did a job with this. >> jimmy: did he? >> ashton kutcher filled a job with this. his new minister of pop culture. of course, a guy like him has a job like that. >> jimmy: what is a minister of pulp culture? >> i don't know. wha

jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, that's what i'm talking about! hey. wow! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. how you guys feeling tonight? happy thursday! [ cheers and applause ] happy thursday! thursday. and hey, check this out. charlie sheen is apparently selling his five-bedroom house in california for $7.2 million. yeah! the asking price is a little high, but then again, so is the asker. [ laughter ] winning! did you see this -- arnold schwarzenegger was spotted on a bicycle without a helmet yesterday. [ laughter ] what a surprise. arnold riding something without using protection. isn't that just -- [ as schwarzenegger ] i don't care anymore! i don't care. mildred, you get on the back! a tandem bicycle? no, it's a one-seater. listen to this -- i heard that the "x-factor" has already fired judge cheryl cole because her british accent is too hard for

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. how you doing tonight? that's an audience. new york city audience. thank you so much. oh, my gosh. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome, welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." or as nbc is calling it, "the royal wedding pre-pre-pre-show." [ cheers ] [ laughter ] everybody's talking about the royal wedding. get this. apparently, kate middleton is planning to do her own makeup. [ audience oohs ] yeah. so, aside from the castle, the jewels, limousines, the mansions, the servants and butlers, she's basically just like us, you guys. [ laughter ] i just saw this. the libyan government says moammar gadhafi is still in high spirits, even though his compound was destroyed this week. most people would be devastate. but here's the thing, he's insane. [ laughter ] you see this?

jimmy fallon.en there's you? >> the book is called "thank you notes." jimmy fallon, thank you very much. he'll chat with kathie lee and hoda this morning. catch "late night" at 12:35, 11:35 central time here on nbc. up next -- stop the music. ♪ >> holding mom and dad responsible for their kids' shortcomings in school. ♪ >> they're still playing u. >>> this morning on "today's family" should parents be blamed for their child's failures in school? that's being debated in school districts nationwide. in alaska, for example, a parent can be fined if their child is truant from school. in california a parent could face a misdemeanor charge if the problem is severe enough. is it fair? lisa belkin is a new york times writer and blogger for "the mother load." good morning, ladies. how much blame do we place on parents? >> i definitely think we better have them step up to the plate. the number one correlation of a kid who will succeed in school is parent involvement and a kid who shows up prepared to learn.

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. thank you very much, everybody. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." that's a great new york city crowd right there. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] i really appreciate it. welcome to the show. huge tv news going on right now, you guys. big tv news. ashton kutcher is going to replace charlie sheen on "two 1/2 men." [ cheers ] i wasn't sure ashton would be able to replace an older actor, but bruce willis was like, "trust me. he'll be fine. [ laughter ] he'll be just fine." [ applause ] did you guys hear about this? the commandos who raided osama bin laden's compound apparently recovered fairly extensive stash of pornography. [ laughter ] yeah. that's understandable. i mean, it's probably not easy just having sex with the same 11 wives. [ laughter ] probably a little boring. that's right, they actually

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody! oh, it's going to be a great night. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hope you're feeling great. we're going to have fun tonight. [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be good. it's going to be a fun night. hey, guys, listen to this. one of sarah palin's supporters is about to release a documentary about her called "the undefeated." really? "the undefeated?" [ laughter ] that's like a documentary about arnold schwarzenegger called "the faithful." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's right. someone made a two-hour documentary about sarah palin's political life. in case you're interested in watching a movie that's longer than palin's actual political life. speaking of the palins, in a new interview, bristol palin says she doesn't plan on having more kids any time soon. but then she added, "but that never stopped me before." [ laughter ] i just saw this, president obama is planning a state visit to puerto rico

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! that's what i'm talking about. that is a great crowd right there. new york city. new york city. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. hey, you guy, some big -- some big, big, big science news here. i'm excited about this. contrary to popular belief, scientists say that humans and the neanderthals may not have interbred with each other. no. then, again -- ♪ [ techno music plays ] [ laughter and applause ] did you guys hear about this? hillary clinton is attending a summit in greenland this week with leaders of seven arctic countries. yeah. apparently obama was like, "send the ice queen. [ laughter ] make it so." [ cheers and applause ] listen to this. a new poll found that sarah palin is getting a lot of support in her bid for president from low-income republicans. you know, like -- like todd palin. [ laughter ] he's support

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about! [ cheers and applause ] hey, everybody. welcome to the show. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," you guys. happy friday! [ cheers and applause ] that's right. [ cheers and applause ] you guys -- tomorrow -- tomorrow is -- tomorrow is the kentucky derby, you guys. [ cheers ] yeah. i'm excited about this. last year i drank way too many mint juleps. i spent like 10 minutes screaming at all the horses going by. then my friend was like, "jimmy, that's a merry-go-round." [ laughter ] i'm like, "what? i got money on pink." [ laughter ] i heard that the racehorse uncle mo will not run in the kentucky derby tomorrow because he has low energy. no uncle mo. [ light laughter ] he was replaced by a horse with lots of energy, uncle sheen. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] duh. winning, placing and showing. [ laughte

and later jimmy fallon tells why he athankful for life's little anoinss. thank you for watching "early today." just your first stop on the day. have a good one.

[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: and to my right, host of nbc's "late night," and sweetheart jimmy fallonr announcing me. my partner is mitt mitchens. >> mittens. >> jimmy: mittens? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. mittens, his name is mittens. mittens from somerset, new jersey. mittens. and we're here to play "password!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: i'm your host, steve higgins. the rules of the game are very simple. i will give each of you a password then each of you are to a one word -- one word -- one word clue only to your partner to get that password. >> jimmy: come again? >> steve: one word only. >> jimmy: okay. >> steve: not two words. not three words. one word. >> jimmy: oh, gotcha, gotcha. >> steve: scoring starts at six. take a point away each time the clue passes. five seconds each time and remember, no part or form of the password can be used. so don't cheat, jimmy. if a clue is illegal as determined by our judges, you will hear this -- [ buzzer ] and you will forfeit the turn. the team with the most points after six wins. any questions? >> jimmy: well -- >> steve: okay, great

>> that's jimmy fallon's take on "the jersey shore."ed "jersey floor" set at nbc's "30 rock" and a bit of amy poehler there, too. >>> what might have started as a romantic gesture is costing one florida homeowner thousands of dollars. they found this message on their garage door recently, will you marry me allison? they don't know who allison is, but it appears allison said yes. to add insult to injury they've they've gotten a letter saying they are violating county code and they need to get the graffiti off their house. >> coming up next on news 4 at 4:00, bullying victim phoebe prince's mother has something to say today to the teenage [ male announcer ] looking for a complete picture of your money? meet pnc virtual wallet. it comes with a calendar that shows you all your finances at once. it lets you know when your money's going out. and when it's coming in. it even tells you when you're running low. we call that danger days. it's built to help you see your money in a whole new light. experience everything virtual wallet has to offer

jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! that's what i'm talking about right there. great crowd. new york city crowd. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." huge, huge news, you guys. president obama said he will not release the photo of osama bin laden's dead body. well, there goes my christmas card idea. [ laughter ] this is interesting. after osama bin laden's death on sunday there was a 1 million% increase in bin laden searches on google. [ laughter ] which means people are going, "yes, we got bin laden. hold on. who's that again?" [ laughter ] oh, yeah. yeah, that guy. yeah, yeah. yeah, i know him. good, we got him. listen to this, you guys. cleveland indians outfielder, shin-soo choo was arrest this week for drunk driving. they let him go when they realized he wasn't drunk. he was just introducing himself. [ laughter ] shin-soo choo. shin-soo choo. i'm just saying my n

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much. thank you, everybody. thank you very much. welcome. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome to "late night." [ cheers and applause ] it's a fun crowd. oh, i love you guys. hey, man, if you were watching "celebrity apprentice" last night, it was just crazy. [ laughter ] i mean, i didn't see it, but, apparently, star jones and nene leakes got so out of control, they ended up killing osama bin laden. [ laughter ] crazy. that's right, president obama announced late last night that bin laden has been killed in pakistan. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] that's right, bin laden is dead, just like the republicans' chances in 2012. [ cheers and applause ] that's right, obama announced last night that bin laden was killed. and, oddly enough, bin laden's last words were, "i hope you at least use this to inter

and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh! i dropped it. i dropped it. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. and thank you so much for being here. oh, my gosh. what a great crowd already. i'm, like, excited. [ cheers and applause ] we're having a fun day. we're having a fun day. today is national visit your relatives day. [ laughter ] or as arnold schwarzenegger put it -- [ imitates schwarzenegger ] "better make it two days." [ laughter ] listen to this. maria shriver was at the taping of oprah's farewell spectacular last night in chicago. a little awkward because oprah's like, "everyone look under your seats!" and maria was like, "it's not another kid, is it?" [ laughter ] don't surprise her with that. listen to this, you guys. ever since the news of osama bin laden's porn stash, the adult entertainment industry wants to know which movies were in this collection. ye

if you caught him on jimmy fallon earlier this week, yes, that was wavy gravy on the couch. tough name to forget if you go back to the woodstock era. he was one of the hosts of the crucible of rock in 1979. now he's going strong and putting good use to the energy. our report from george lewis. >> reporter: the many faces of wavy gravy. always the consummate clown. >> a clown is a poet who is also an orangutan. >> reporter: but behind the funny face paint, there's a man serious about being a good samaritan. and why? >> for the buzz. i'm in it for the buzz. it makes me feel good. >> reporter: the movie "woodstock" documented how wavy gained pr minceenc'ing the legendary festival while his hog farm fed the crowd. >> what we have in mind is breakfast in bed for 400,000. >> reporter: and he's been providing for others ever since. >> breakfast! >> reporter: every summer, kids, many living in poverty, come to his camp, rainbow, to learn juggling and trap ease work. there's a point to it, building self-esteem. >> when you're the best, you want to make other people the best. >> you w

as jimmy fallon point out this week so far two thousand and eleven it's been a tough year for the ocean take a look. here ok well in any case the point to point out is first the ocean had to deal with b.p. then with the melt out of daiichi and now. and the hits keep coming scientists in the arctic monitoring assessment program a map are forecasting a higher than expected five foot rise in sea levels a century thanks to rapidly melting ice and going on the rest of the arctic a map warns about twenty fifth of the arctic ocean could be completely ice free meaning that low lying areas around the world are in danger of becoming the new ocean floor includes florida even new york city so if you're looking for is a ocean front property provide a house in china sea but the question is what's the real reason behind rising sea levels is it a global warming b. water being pushed up thanks to bigger fish that mutates a result of the nuclear disaster in japan or c. that model was dumped in the ocean and the evil and then ending up as corpses melting glaciers are there. at the world internal temp. of

>> jimmy fallon gets the last word. you can have the last word on our blog. follow my tweets. "rachel maddow show" is up next. >>> happy friday. i here by present to you what it looks like to run for president now against barack obama. >> senator, are you suggesting that heroin and prostitution are an exercise of liberty? >> up until

you know, it's giving late night hosts like jimmy fallon weeks' worth of material.g revelation that arnold schwarzenegger fathered a child with his long-time housekeeper 13 years ago. that's what we're talking about. he managed to keep it a secret for a long, long time, but now it's out of the bag, and it probably means the end of his marriage to maria shriver. let's bring in maureen o'connor, staff writer for gawker.com, a site that's gotten a whole lot of clicks over the scandal. so, maureen, how did he keep this under wraps for so long? that's what people want to know. >> it seems that arnold's own family didn't know about this. just this morning the "new york post" reported the child himself, the child of the housekeeper, didn't know who his real father was. he called his stepfather dad his whole life. he kept the public from knowing because he kept everyone from knowing, it seems. >> it seems they both kept the secret. this brings to mind maureen some other infamous cases of powerful men with kids on the side, doesn't it? >> sure. i mean, we heard shortly after