tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- john oliver. patton oswalt. "tonight showbotics." cal guest james arthur and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 661, bakersfield! yeah! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! oh! [ cheers and applause ] i feel the love! i feel the love! i give it right back to you. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] you made it! this is the show, baby. here's what people are talking about, you guys. i saw that president trump did an interview the other day where he said that he never realized that being president was such a big responsibility. [ laughter ] somewhere far, far away, hillary clinton crushed the wine glass she was holding. [ laughter and applause ] "gosh! you've got to be kidding me!" in the meantime, trump is asking congress to fund his border wall, and there might be a government shutdown if they don't. or as trump put it, "you hear that? the wall hasn't even been built, and it's already a huge obstacle. [

>> jimmy: john, you're so great on the show. i just love what you're doing. well written. but you get some great interviews. >> yes. >> jimmy: i have to say the dalai lama -- >> amazing, right? >> jimmy: how did it happen? you met the -- >> so i interviewed the dalai lama on our show this year. i wanted to go to india to where he lives, because i thought it was more interesting to do it in his house. it's not -- he has a bit more than a house. but where he lives. and it was -- i wanted to speak to him, because he's a very funny man. and i'd read this interview where he said he sometimes gets frustrated when people take him too seriously. which is kind of an interesting idea for a spiritual leader, to think don't take everything so seriously. i've got some yucks as well. >> jimmy: yucks, yeah. absolutely, yeah. >> and it was a difficult interview to navigate, because you know he's a very important man, so you want to be respectful. but you know, comedy is at its heart disrespectful. but he kind of -- he has a a really amazing way of setting people at ease. so

>> jimmy johns. >> jimmy: in all the black forest ham.t to be high when you're working at jimmy john's. >> what is your name and where are you from? >> blair schotts from mobile, alabama. >> have you ever been high at work? >> jimmy: all right. has blair -- a resounding yes from the audience. >> are we talking about on drugs? >> yes. >> no, i have not. >> jimmy: oh! you see that? his mullet gives him a natural high. [ laughter ] his barber was high at work on the day he did his hair. who is next? >> what is your name and where are you from? >> sketches the clown, i'm the phoenix psychopath, the notoriously hard act of the country. >> have you ever been high at work? >> jimmy: he's a clown. he's a clown names stitches. high or not high? high? all right. >> i'm high all the time. i'm high right now. >> when was the last time you were high at work? >> i don't know, maybe -- obviously it's really responsible, but afterwards i'll smoke under a bridge. >> jimmy: so if he has a chainsaw he will not. but that -- by the way, that's the reason peop

there are more than 2600 jimmy john's in 43 states. if you were which lieu pa, what is that? >> it's a thing i guess. >> well, you're in luck. it's in the form of a comeback in the way of a chip. so it's a fried chicken chip that is not naked. because it comes with nacho cheese and dipping sauce. six pieces of this will make you keel over for $1.99. it will only be sold for six week starting on may 11th. i would like you to do the forecast after consuming some of those. >> i could do it. and >> and a unicorn frappuccino. [ laughter ] >>> i wanted to do puppy cam. we'll be right back. 79 right now. dew points in the 30s. humidity is 20%. winds are no at 22. gusting to 36. my blood pressure was lowering. wind gust trackers. speaking of winds. still gusting to 36 at hagerstown. 36 at national. 32 at martinsburg. they will subside tonight. they will pick up tomorrow morning. so winds will diminish and allow the temps to fall. it is a very dry air mass. cooler tomorrow and thursday. generally 65-70 both days. friday our next yellow weather alert for heavy rain. the impacts and ris

tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- john oliver. patton oswalt.

happening today, you can grab a sandwich for a buck at jimmy john's as part of customer appreciationy. certain sandwiches will be a dollar. they offer runs from 4:00 to 8:00 in stores only. there are eight jimmy john's locations in the bay area. >> hundreds of sea turtles will lay thousands of eggs up and down the coastline in the next few months. this week marks the beginning of sea turtle nesting season. a single nest holds 100 to 120 eggs. biologists say last year and 2015 were record neals with nearly 4600 nests on 35 miles of beach. for the most part, the sea turtles only nest at night and everything from car headlights to flashlights can disorient them. i know what that feels like. >> all those lights. 5:59 right now. ahead, 6:00, just joking, breaking overnight, fists flying on a flight from japan to los angeles. what witnesses say led up to a violent confrontation. >> closing arguments in the sierra lamar trial. the one person who never took the witness stand. >>> and strike averted. the last-minute deal reached with riders to avoid a costly shutdown that would have blacked o

a man pulled out a gun at jimmy john's restaurant. that's the gun.pulls off his latex gloves because he doesn't want to get anything dirty, then he pulls out the jammy and aims it at this guy. it doesn't squirt jelly. the kansas city police department arrests a suspect in the robbery it turn out he was a kansas city chiefs man so he wanted to die. this wasn't the only incident on his shift. a couple minute after the robbery a woman came in and offered him sex for chicken fingers. if you are under the age of 40 you probably think lil' kim is president trump's name for kim jong-un. lil' kim was performing with p. diddy when she got trapped in an elevator for 20 minutes. people were screaming to get out, and that was just during the concert. but luckily rescuers were able to save her and the afterparty went off without a hitch without her real nose or cheek bones or real breasts. topic number five. finally congratulations are in order for an english policeman who crawled the entire london marathon like a gorilla. tom harrison goes by the name of mr. gor

>> no, that other guy. [ lila >> jimmy: ket fester? >> john -- father john --father john misty. "game of thrones." yeah, him. of course it's for a wolf. there's a wolf on "game of thrones." now, shut up. what's the next question? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i would put -- i would have the wolf -- >> i don't think he was asking you. i think he was asking me. [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: i was just suggesting. just suggesting in case -- if you happen to run into a wolf. [ light laughter ] i would do "hungry like the wolf" by duran duran. >> that's so much of a better answer. >> jimmy: no, but then i see when he gets it and see if he gets the joke. [ light laughter ] look at the wolf's face and see if the wolf -- [ light laughter ] >> anyway, next question. please. >> jimmy: let's check out the next question. here we go. >> hi, i'm cheela, from san diego. what is a good name for a hot guy? >> dick. [ cheers and applause ] no. what about thorn -- like say -- >> jimmy: sadly. >> thorn, thunder. >> jimmy: thorn. thorn. this is my boyfriend, thorn. >> thunder dick. >> jimmy: no. that's not a

. >> yesterday i sawed a line outside jimmy johns, $1 stubs. >> it's incredible what people will do foran i dwets five of them to take home for dinner. >> thursday, $1 chipolte. >> oh, hey. >> 6:42 now. >> coming unnext venice it italy. none of us get to go. but kevin does. we'll find out what adventures he want to do and kurt russel one of the most iconic character fox beat next italy well it's a perfect nespresso morning here, george. hold on a second. mmm. ♪ ♪ [mel torme sings "comin' home baby"] hey there. want a lift? ♪ ♪ where are we going? no don't tell me. let me guess. ♪ ♪ have a nice ride. ♪ ♪ how far would you go for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else? beautiful morning. pretty, pretty, protest. >> i who wants to go anywhere i know sketch in venice but who wants to go sglir beautiful spring day. >> what you got there tuck. >> we don't enough spring days around here. >> yesterday gorgeous today gorgeous too. >> thank to you kinder care learning center they sent me this awesome little note. >> so cool >> saying how they watc

john b. mclemore. >> jimmy: how does he contact you?tener to "this american life." and one day, i was just reading -- you know, we get -- we have a listener e-mail account. people who write us after they've heard stories to say like, "oh, i love this story," or, "i hated this story," or, "your voice sounds weird," or, you know, "you said a mean thing about an animal, and i'm deeply offended, and i'm never gonna listen again." [ light laughter ] those are, like what those e-mails are. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly, yeah. sorry about that e-mail, by the way. [ laughter ] >> we can do entire -- but anyway, so it's that e-mail account. and -- so, it's mostly those. we don't usually get tips to that e-mail account, but there was one e-mail caught my eye that just said, the subject line -- john b. mclemore lives in [ bleep ]-town, alabama. and so, i was like, "well, i'll take a look at that e-mail." >> jimmy: weird, yeah. >> and he was basically saying, "i lived in this town in i desperately hate it here, but i've never left. you guys should come d

jimmy fallon, jimmy kimmel, snl, john oliver. caitlin flanagan is writing about all of them. we continue in a moment. ♪ >> we need health professionals who are technically competent, problem solvers, lifelong learners, team leaders, consensus builders, and who can share power gracefully. was told he would understand what this responsibility means. that it means reaching out, it means caring about more than yourself. it means asking about we rather than me. >> having the fortitude to the right thing and not the easy thing. don't be somebody's's lapdog. have the courage to speak the truth even when it is unpopular. >> i want to talk to you about being open to the unexpected, about making room for the improbable and unlikely. commencement speeches from the c-span library and join us for this -- the speeches as we hear from white house officials starting at 8:00 p.m. eastern on saturday, may 20, the 27th, memorial day, and june 3 on c-span and c-span.org. >> monday night on the communicators, a look at small town and rural broad spent with the ceo of mpca, the rural broadband ass

tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- derek jeter, katherine langford, musical guest, father john mistyand featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 674. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, hey, everybody. welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. i feel the love! i feel the love. i give it back to you. welcome to -- welcome to "the tonight show," baby. this is it. [ cheers and applause ] we've got a big show tonight. oh, my goodness. i'm your host jimmy fallon. hi, everybody. guys, this sunday is mother's day, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] so happy mother's day to all the moms out there. and get this, i saw that hooters will be giving moms free entrees. [ laughter ] but before you take your mom to hooters on mother's day make sure you have a good playlist for the long silent car ride home. that's my only -- that was weird. actually i read that mother's day is the most popular holiday to go out to eat. millions of moms taking 20 minutes to decide what to order, then getting the weirdest thing on the menu. that's

come out and he would say to i forget to whoever it was, i think you're throwing great, but jimmy does not. >> john: oh, yeah. he told you what he thought would help you. we had one particular pitcher that finished his warmups. i could hear him walking in the dugout from the bullpen. i could hear pads, you've got great stuff. you take that in the game, you're winning today. back in the tunnel sitting where it's cooler, pads, what have we got today? a long game. this guy ain't got, you know what. there we go. >> tom: one ball and two strikes to altherr. and aaron stays alive and pokes it foul. phillies will wrap up the month of may with only six wins, as this one is popped foul. the worst may they have ever had in a long storied history of this franchise was 1928 when they were 3-22. >> john: ouch. >> tom: this month counting the last two games, 6-22, which winning percentagewise is the second worst. one ball, two strikes to altherr. and 2-2. >> john: wonder what we're going to talk about on the postgame show? >> tom: anything you want to run out there? they could build a graphic for you. >> john: i

a little rainbow right there. >> steve: rainbow. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. father johnt. [ applause ] hey, guys, this sunday is mother's day. a day to celebrate everything we love about our moms. so with that in mind we sent our writer joe firestone down to 30 rock plaza to talk to some moms and theids it's a new segment called "tonight show mom talk." take a look at this. ♪ tonight show mom talk ♪ >> hi, jimmy, i'm down here in rockefeller plaza. i'm going to talk to moms and their kids about mother's day. are you going to do anything for your mom for mother's day? >> we're going to walk around the city and show her around. >> okay, yeah. the free mother's day. >> yeah. >> i get you. have you liked everyone your sons have dated? >> yes. >> everybody? >> yes. because they really haven't had many dates. >> do you do an impression of your daughter? >> whatever. >> that was so fast. you had that ready. does your mom have any celebrity crushes? >> donny osmond. she saw donny osmond in vegas. >> donny osmond? >> yeah. >> still? >> yeah, from here to there i saw donny osmond.

there's an interesting youtube video of them playing with john paul jones and jimmy page coming up andng them. if you get a chance watch it it's really cool. that's it next newscast at 9:00. see you there. - hey, do you want the rest of my-- - okay. - actually, i was gonna say eggs. - okay. - you know, it's not you versus your cholesterol pills. you're supposed to be working together. - you know, i do love my single life, but it would be nice to have someone who didn't want me to die. - well, you do-- a whole city full of escorts. - i'm just saying if you watch the beginning closely, it gives away the ending. - oh, my god. is he still talking about inception? - no. rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. - they play this song at the beginning, and it gives away the ending.

see if people are saying jimmy is gone, john is gone, did you see what's on tv, somebody was talking about that last night. even if youconspiracy, not onlye a support network, but was somebody else involved who is watching this saying the noose is going to tighten around me, i have go with my own operation. otherwise the cops are going to get me. >> you also have -- u.s. law enforcement, not just on at letter to understand what happened here, but to see if there's any blow back in the united states. nypd, famously they keep very close track of any terrorist incident around the world. they try to have officers go over and learn from local law enforcement to understand are there some new methods that jihadis or extremists are using? is there a new way they're communicating? is there a new way that they're trying to cause mayhem? >> there's a lot they will do. as soon as they get a phone number -- the question is, did that person ever call the united states? you will go out two hops. that's not only did they call somebody who called in the united states? there's a huge volume of data yo

i thought it to be a man of national stature like john gardner. jimmy said no, you are going to do it. i said oh no, no. that is a big mistake. nobody knows me. i don't know anybody. no. that is a very bad idea. he said i know you, you know me. i trust you and you trust me so you are going to do it. he said don't worry about not knowing anybody or being known. anybody, when you call, once they know what you are doing, will return your phone call. that is how it worked. >> that didn't sit well with the rest of the campaign. >> not only did they return his phone calls but when jack as president carter's emissary to official washington started meeting with the clark cliffords and the powers that be in washington, he charmed them. jack can charm the birds out of the trees and you know. everybody was thinking as one person put it, here they come, shoeless rubes from georgia, andrew jackson all over again. jack watson was there to reassure them if they are like this guy we are fine. interestingly as you say, there's always as i learned in doing this research

♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to john oliver, patton oswalt, all the robots in theowbotics." and james arthur right there once again! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots from philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth myers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight, america ferrera. from "snatch," actor ike barinholtz. featuring the 8g band with josh dion. >> ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] so good to hear. so good to hear on a monday. in that case, let's get to the news. in a recent reuters interview, president trump reflected on his first 100 days in office saying, quote, i thought it would be easier. what made you think it was going to be easy? [ light laughter ] this is what

. >>> guess who is with jimmy tonight, hayward native dwayne johnson. >> hey guys, dwayne john season is my guest tonight. elie kemper. music from charlie poos. >>> happening now, the coast guard comes to the rescue after a kite surfer is in des tress near chrissy field. happened before 5:00 this even. another kite surfer saw the distressed companion and called for help. the surfer's waterproof cell phone might have saved the day in this particular case. back with more news. did you know 90% of couples disagree on mattress firmness? fortunately there's a bed where you both get what you want every night. enter sleep number and the semi-annual sale going on now. sleepiq technology tells you how well you slept and what adjustments you can make. she likes the bed soft. he's more hardcore. so your sleep goes from good to great to wow! only at a sleep number store. oh, and right now it's our lowest price ever on our temperature balancing i8 bed. save $700. go to sleepnumber.com for a store near you. >>> seattle's skyline not as bright as usual. the space needle went dark this evening in mem

jimmy page said he was incredibly talented and young, elton john page said he was incredibly talented of men. for people who do not know his music, what stands out? it was mainly the abrasive sound of the band. i got into soundgarden to audio slave because of my age. it was very much the post—grunge era and it was the excitement of hearing the four band rather than a solo artist with manufactured instruments behind them. and he did something no other grunge band did at the time, he gone toa grunge band did at the time, he gone to a major label. certainly. it definitely made the grunge scene boom. he was part of the four big grunge bands at the time. and i think it was incredible what he achieved in his career. you will also help run a label. what did he do for the independent scene?m also help run a label. what did he do for the independent scene? in a non—cheesy sense, it gave independent labels hope because it meant that the mainstream is open to more abrasive music and no longer is it music pigeonholed, it paved the way for new metal and things like that. a lot of people watching d

jimmy kimmel home viewer of the night for wednesday, may 17th is becky karsten from waterloo, illinois. becky is a high school guidance counselor who enjoys gambling and entering radio contests. becky's uncle is married to johnvolta's sister. congratulations, becky, for being our home viewer of the night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- bryan cranston. from "baywatch", kelly rohrbach. and music from paramore. and now, last warning, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

jimmy kimmel home viewer of the night for wednesday, may 17th is becky karsten from waterloo, illinois. becky is a high school guidance counselor who enjoys gambling and entering radio contests. becky's uncle is married to johner. congratulations, becky, for being our home viewer of the night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- bryan cranston. from "baywatch", kelly rohrbach. and music from paramore. and now, last warning, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

jimmy stewart. >> yeah. >> harvey. that was the character. >> john gotti, "bikini," nice.s one of my favorites. >> remember, baird jones spoke about spending a million dollars to acquire all this artwork. hugh decides to auction it all off. >> this is muhammad ali. >> in the ring. >> in the ring. >> hugh, you're going to sell this? >> yes, i am because who's going to enjoy it? nobody's getting any chance to look at it. that's what art is for, it's for people to appreciate. >> you think it's worth anything? >> i would imagine it is. what, i don't know. >> he's about to find out. let's open up at $1,500. $1,600, $1,700, $1,800. >> what's your "strange inheritance" story? we'd love to tell it. send me an e-mail or go to our website, srangeinheritance.com. >> now, back to "strange inheritance." >> in june 2016, hugh hooper's ready to auction off what's left of his strange inheritance, a trove of celebrity artwork collected by a preppy new york party promoter named baird jones. jones is said to have poured more than a million dollars into the collection before he died and wille

jimmy stewart. >> yeah. >> harvey. that was the character. >> john gotti, "bikini," nice. he was thinking about. >> that's one of my favorites. >> remember, baird jones spoke about spending a million dollars to acquire all this artwork. hugh decides to auction it all off. >> this is muhammad ali. >> in the ring. >> in the ring. >> hugh, you're going to sell this? >> yes, i am because who's going to enjoy it? nobody's getting any chance to look at it. that's what art is for, it's for people to appreciate. >> you think it's worth anything? >> i would imagine it is. what, i don't know. >> he's about to find out. let's open up at $1,500. $1,600, $1,700, $1,800. >> what's your "strange inheritance" story? we'd love to tell it. send me an e-mail or go to our website, srangeinheritance.com. most of us like to be out in the sun. that's why sunscreen and other safety measures are key to protecting your skin from aging and cancer. the fda recommends using a sunscreen with a sun protection factor, or spf, of 15 or higher. also look for broad spectrum on the label. that means both har

jimmy stewart. >> yeah. >> harvey. that was the character. >> john gotti, "bikini," nice.ou know what he was thinking about. >> that's one of my favorites. >> remember, baird jones spoke about spending a million dollars to acquire all this artwork. hugh decides to auction it all off. >> this is muhammad ali. >> in the ring. >> in the ring. >> hugh, you're going to sell this? >> yes, i am because who's going to enjoy it? nobody's getting any chance to look at it. that's what art is for, it's for people to appreciate. >> you think it's worth anything? >> i would imagine it is. what, i don't know. >> he's about to find out. let's open up at $1,500. $1,600, $1,700, $1,800. >> what's your "strange inheritance" story? we'd love to tell it. send me an e-mail or go to our website, srangeinheritance.com. i got a mortgage offer from the bank today. whuuuuuat? you never just get one offer. go to lendingtree.com and shop multiple loan offers for free! free? yeah. could save thousands. you should probably buy me dinner. pappa's eatin' steak tonight. no. at lendingtree, shop and compare

george bush sr., jimmy carters in their 90s. it's not unthinkable. john f. kennedy was cut down on november 22, 1963 at the age of 46. but we started rummaging through history a little bit to look at press conferences that were short, concise and to the point. he had them everyone 6 days. no other president has come close. he took an average of 40 questions in those press conferences. no other press before or since has come close. who knows that better than the author of the kennedy center and the remarkable book that became a documentary and won an emmy. larry, good to see you. >> thank you, neil. >> neil: it's so interesting when you go back in time and you see a president who did not comport to the image of either a liberal or someone stuck in the party, the ideology of his party, but was able to reach across the aisle and do things. that was the one thing that stood out to me about kennedy and his approach and his openness and dealing with the press, taking on the press. i cannot believe for the life of me that on monday, we mark the 100th anniversary of

if you're looking at national security and i think john would agree with this. >> yeah. >> jimmy carterme in, did not have that kind of experience. same with george w. bush. they appointed strong people and approached it from a position of modesty. they said this is something i don't know that much about, i want to learn, i want to lean on people who have had experience for years. you don't see that kind of modesty in donald trump to make the understatement of the day. >> i wouldn't put modesty and donald trump in the -- >> that's exactly right and should be especially on -- >> that's why he's so successful and won the presidency. >> the other argument he made is that i am successful because i get the best people and i listen to them. you don't see that here. >> kristen welker, what we haven't been talking about is their prime agenda, which is health care, to make way for tax cuts, and none of that domestically legislative agenda is getting forward as everyone is preoccupied with what's happened this week. >> andrea, let's think about where we started this week. it was discussing health

rajesh singla, of the john muir health group, for allegedly sexually assaulting a female patient at his treat blvd office in walnut creek lee/contra costa county sheriff's office spokesperson: "what happened was a female patient of the doctor, earlier this month, filed a complaint, one of our deputies went out there to take a police report and following their investigation on monday they got an arrest warrant for the doctor, went to his office and placed him under arrest. he was booked on numerous charges, two counts of indecent exposure and one count of attempted oral copulation">in contra costa county...haaziq madyun kron4news (pam)say goodbye to the summer- like weather in the bay area.a major cool down is on the way.(steve) meteorologist brittney shipp is back with your complete forecast. .mostly sunny and warm conditions will persist through the day. cooling trend begins on wednesday as onshore flow and the marine influence increases. a cold front will then enter the north bay with a slight chance of rain showers on thursday, cooling temperatures there. continued breezy and unseasonably cool conditions are likely f