and now, not for nothing, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> nice to see you, hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. that's very kind, i'm the host of the show. i'm glad you're excited but a -- because this is -- this is a good night for enthusiasm. a very special night here in hollywood. it's first night of the l.a. feast of san gennaro. our eighth annual charity event, goes on all weekend. it's in back of our theater every year. san gennaro for those who don't know is the patron saint of chest hair and colognes. and jewelry. [ laughter ] and you will see plenty of that tonight. the food though is the main attraction. i have been starving myself for this. i have not eaten since lunch. so this is going to be -- tonight not just a celebration. tonight we are on a mission. tonight, i'm declaring war on mexico. now, i'll explain why. on august 4th -- i'm glad some of you support it in general, but there is reason. on august 4, mexico set the record for the world's largest meatball which obviously is unacc

and now, right on time, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> welcome the to the show. i'm jimmy. i'm the host -- hey, can i ask you a favor tonight? if anyone sees kanye west sneak up behind me with a microphone, give me a heads up. well, we have a strong show for you tonight. eva longoria parker is here. [ cheers and applause ] kelly clarkson is here. and we have something special from matt damon on the show tonight. matt damon was supposed to be on the show a couple of times i think. for one reason or another, it didn't work out. but tonight, it will. i hope anyway. if not, what are you going to do? but stay tuned for that a little later on in the show. this is kind of interest, i want to mention this right up front. you know that iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at president bush? well, he was released today after nine months in prison. his name is muntadahar and he said he was tortured while in prison. this poor guy, they made him bathe every single day. while he said he's still o

oh, my gosh, i'm tired of jimmy kimmel over here, jimmy kimmel over there, jimmy kimmel football. >> from hollywood, it's the guillermo show! [ cheers and applause ] please join your host, guillermo! >> hello and welcome to my show. i'm guillermo. boy, how about kanye west. he's a real jerk. [ laughter ] my first guest is a funny guy. he has a new book called "barack like me". please welcome david alan grier. [ cheers and applause ] how you doing? >> david alan grier is my guest tonight. >> no, he's my guest. >> guillermo, you can't steal my guest. ing the dag, come back down here and -- >> i don't want to get in the middle of this. >> but you did make a commitment to us first, right? >> yeah, yeah, but i mean, your uncle is here. >> uncle frank. [ cheers and applause ] >> sorry, jim. >> you know you can actually keep him. >> yes, sorry, jim. tell us about your new book. >> in spanish -- >> i'm not going to -- i'm not going to tolerate this. you know what i'm starting to think there may be too many talk shows on television. maybe abc will put him on at 10:00 every night. who knows? y

and now, if you haven't heard, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> thank you. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. and before we go any further, i want you to know that i always believed in you, even when no one else did. [ laughter ] let's kick things off with some accidental profanity. it's a lot of fun when news people curse. because they're so serious. honestly, the only reason i even watch the news is because on the off chance that someone might say the f word. this is from the local fox news last night. nick gregory wrapping up the weather when anchorman ernie jumps in with some fun unscripted interplay. and listen closely because this is a good one. >> check that seven-day to make your weekend plans. >> takes a tough man to make a tender forecast, nick. [ bleep ] you chicken. [ laughter ] >> before we continue -- >> remind me never to have dinner at ernie's house. he said plucking the chicken, but you wouldn't know it from the look on his co-anchor's face. >> to make your w

and now, like it or not, here's jimmy kimmel! ptions paid for by abc, inc. >> hi, i'm jimmy. thank you. i'm the host of the show. i want to get that straight right off the bat. i am the host of the show. we've got quite a program planned for you, but before we move on with our guests and our music and all that stuff, we have some very big news today. apparently, michael jackson is alive. >> oh. >> it is big news, right? and apparently dicky is the only one that is happy about it. [ laughter ] there is a new tape that has surfaced on the internet of all things. and look at this. what you're seeing there is the l.a. county coroner's van. this is the van that according to the person who shot the videotape contained michael jackson's body. watch -- you can see here through the fence a man who either is or is not michael jackson himself gets out of a van and walks into the building. michael jackson is alive. isn't that something? [ applause ] >> good news. >> we have been -- we have been jackoed again. he's got a wicked sense of humor

and now, at last, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. i'll be your guide through the next hour of adventure and >> hi. i'll be your guide through the next hour of adventure and laughs and it's 9-9-09 today. or at least it was until a few minutes ago. september, 9, 2009, and that's what happens when our governor yells when they get his breakfast order wrong. nine, nine, maria. i wanted the scones. you didn't know i did impressions? today is the 40th birthday of the atm. the automated teller machine or -- 40 years ago, somebody somewhere came to the exciting realization that people will pay $1.50 transaction fee to get something they already own and they sprung up everywhere. this is interesting, the first-ever atm transaction was completed by the first man to walk on the moon, neil armstrong, in 1969. they had him make a transaction. he withdrew $10. remember when you could get $10 out of an atm? he bought a salami sandwich and a pack of naked lady playi

and now, no kidding, here's jimmy kimmel! eers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> well, hi, there. >> well, hi, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. i want to -- [ cheers and applause ] i want to confess something to you. moments before the curtain opened i realized my fly was all the way down. [ laughter ] i hope you had a good labor day weekend. i did have -- i spent most of it really watching television, specifically the jerry lewis telethon. i watch it every year. the muscular dystrophy telethon is a wonderful thing and growing up in las vegas it was a family tradition to watch the telethon. especially when the ventriloquists and magicians saw each other in half. but especially when jerry lewis opens his mouth to sing. ♪ ♪ rock a bye baby ♪ ♪ oh, yeah [ laughter ] >> all right. well, what do you want, the jonas brothers? it's a telethon, for god's sake. jerry was not in a great mood this year. let's just right off the bat. he scolded his crew a couple of times on the air, and well, here's what happened

have a great weekend. >>> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. i'm here to tell you about a funny new show called "modern family" that premieres next week as part of the new abc comedy wednesday. that's right. the show is getting rave reviews for the unique take on the modern family, hence the title. "entertainment weekly" calls it the funniest new comedy of the fall. in this scene, ed o'neill and sofia vergara are a couple and their son professed his love to the photo kiosk girl at the mall. >> she has a boyfriend. >> oh, i'm sorry. >> i gave her my heart. she gave me a no -- >> no, it was great, right? right? >> well, you'll know better next time. come on. >> you know, hold on a second, stop the clip. it's silly to show the clip when the stars are in the building, in fact, in the greenroom. there's ed o'neill and sofia vergara right now. [ cheers and applause ] instead of showing the clip, maybe you guys could act the scene out for us instead? huh? >> well, we would love to, jimmy, but the thing is that you didn't invite the actor that plays my

and now, while we're at it, here's jimmy kimmel! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> thanks. i'm jimmy. that's very nice. you know what, if it wasn't for the swine flu i'd kiss every one of you on the mouth. i really would. well, the new nfl season kicked off tonight with the super bowl champion pittsburgh steelers hosting the tennessee titans. today is or was for me the skinniest day of the year. this is my mary kate olsen phase because it's 22 pizza and buffalo wings packed sundays and then wrapping up with my annual gastric bypass operation. are you coming to the house on sunday, guillermo? >>es >> okay. it's real football, not the fake soccer kind, right? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> and real food. >> president obama made his big healthcare address to a joint session of congress last night. it went pretty well except for one weird part in the middle of it when a congressman from south carolina yelled out suddenly you lie. i'm amazed this guy was able to sit through seven years of president bush telling him everythi

and now, get it together, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. from those of you visiting us from out of town, this was autumn and it was 103 degrees. the weather here in is getting hotter every year. a lot of women have figured out a way to adjust to the heat by implanting two melon-sized sacks of liquid to the front of their chest to help them regulate the temperature from within, which is ingenious. not only is it hot, there are more wildfires, five new ones started yesterday. they say one of them is a 16,000 acre fire in ventura county may have been caused by exploding cow manure. appare apparently, it gets hot enough, manure will spontaneously come bust. like when kids leave a bag of dog crap out on the front doorstep, only without the kids and a front doorstep. just when we thought we had it all, mud slides, floods and wildfire, exploding crap. so if you're storing crap, you may want to move it out to the pool. if you're watching abc you know this

and now, not only that, here's jimmy kimmel! eers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> well, thank you, cleto. welcome to the show, i'm jimmy. i'm the host, which is the main reason why i'm up here and i want to say happy labor day weekend. i hope you have a job to be off from on monday. the economy is getting worse, the department of labor today announced that unemployment is at a 26-year high of 9.7%, making this the most ironic labor day since 1983. crazy. there are 15 million unemployed people in america and michael vick isn't one of them. [ laughter ] labor day is the symbolic end to the summer for most of the country. here in l.a. summer doesn't officially come to a close until matthew mcconaughey puts a shirt on which happens in december. president obama is asking americans to drive safely and not consume too much alcohol this labor day weekend. boy, he really is just like hitler, isn't he? if you happen to be planning a barbecue and you live here in l.a. look out because there's an 80% chance you'll be soaked

"jimmy kimmel live" is up next. from all of us at abc news, good night, america. >>> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight, from "californication", david duchovny. from the denver nuggets, carmelo anthony is with us. we have music tonight from kid cudi, and wolf blitzer goes down in "celebrity jeopardy" flames. >> king david and jesus, both hailed from this town. wolf? >> what is jesus town? >> no. >> the thing is wolves aren't the brightest. "jimmy kimmel live," in two minutes. it lets you choose what purchases you want to pay in full to avoid interest...with full pay. and those you split... you decide how to pay over time. if having a plan matters. chase what matters. create your own blueprint at chase.com/blueprint. hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7.... happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. your old mop will just have to ge

and now, look out, here's jimmy kimmel! d for by abc, inc. >> thank you, fellas. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. someone had to be, and i was chosen. by the way, it's never smelled better in this studio than -- it's actually never smelled good this this studio. i does tonight because it's friday night, we have the italian feast of san gennaro going on right here in our backyard. this is our eighth annual feast. it's a big charity event we put on. it goes on all weekend here, so if you're in the area come by and say hello. last night we set the world record for the largest meatball ever recorded, 198 pounds. [ cheers and applause ] we're pretty proud of ourselves too. this morning, i weighed in at -- what is 205 plus 198 pounds? whatever that is, that is what i weigh. the food is the main attractive at the feast, but there's also music, carnival games. carnival games are something i've been fascinated with. i don't want to say fixed but they want to make sure you don't win the stewy from family guy doll. n

and now, take cover, here's jimmy kimmel! cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> thank you, cleto. hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. and i've got a feeling that tonight's going to be a good night. [ laughter ] tonight is gonna be a good, good night. then we'll do it again. i just want to work that in because i'm concerned that the black eyed peas aren't getting the air time they deserve. [ laughter ] you know, the black eyed peas performed on "oprah" yesterday, and then again before the steelers game in pittsburgh. the steelers won that game, it was the first game of the nfl season. for you ladies i have been asked this a few times, wondering why they have football games on thursday. the answer is i don't know. they just do, so stop it, you're giving me a headache. personally i don't understand how anyone could focus on football when there are still 14 excellent contestants left on "project runway" anyway. the steelers beat the titans in overtime last night and in doing so they provided us wi

and now, i'm fairly certain, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >>> hi, i'm jimmy. . buckle up, folks, i'm flying right into a lake. it's tuesday, which means dance hall death on "dancing with the stars." tonight -- >> on this second week of competition the couple with the lowest combined total and therefore leaving right now is -- kathy and tony. >> supermodel kathy ireland gets the bedazzled boot tonight and probably the first time she has ever been reject. i think this could be good for her. kathy will be here with us later on, along with ricky gervais and alice in chains will be here tonight and tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] last night on "dancing with the stars," they had a substitute judge filling in for len goodman, the english, proper judge and the substitute was ba luhrmann. baz followed a good rule of thumb, when in doubt, give them a seven. >> baz. >> seven. >> seven. >> seven. >> seven. >> seven. >> seven. [ laughter ] >> seven seven. i wonder if he knows he has more than

"jimmy kimmel live" is up next. for now, i'm terry moran. for cynthia mcfadden and martin bashir and all of us at abc news, good night, america. >>> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. summer is winding down, but it's not too late to book your hotels through hotels.com. when you do, you can get a free night stay every time you accumulate ten nights. >> i know you are, but what am i? >> guillermo, what's going on over there? >> you smell like a goat. i am humiliating this knight, jimmy. >> why? >> you just said i could get a free night stay with hotels.com every time i humiliate ten knights. this is number seis. >> no, no. guillermo, i said you need to accumulate ten nights to get a free night. you understand? >> humiliate? >> accumulate! >> humiliate? >> accumulate. >> oh, haccumulate. >> close enough. and with welcome rewards from hotels.com you can stay just about anywhere. big chains, boutique hotels, bed and breakfasts. even resorts. and you can start earning your free night as soon as this labor day weekend. >> that's good news. ighty iidy i accumula

"jimmy kimmel live" is up next. good night, america. >>> tonight on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> time now for our fifth annual pedestrian belly flop competition. are you wet? >> i'm very wet. >> this is taking a surprisingly erotic twist with carrie ann soaken wet. >> my patient stopped breathing. how did he do it? >> i don't know. >> gordon ramsay. >> get out! >> do you scream at them because you feel like it will make them a better chef or because you're emotionally unstable? >> on the phe day you asked me to make you a marinara sauce. what do you think? >> it's actually [ bleep ] delicious. >> and we have to go out to martha vineyard's right now. >> i apologize for interrupting the relaxing i told you to do. >> if i seem relaxed i'm oe pid lley're rkinwo >> "jmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with gordon ramsay, rob zombie and music from friendly fires. i'd spend class preoccupied, bothered by itchy eyes. but now i have new zyrtec® itchy eye drops. it works fast, with just one drop, to relieve my itchy eyes fro

lisp, what does it mean when you are made the butt of jokes by guys like jimmy kimmel and jay leno?ars. it means you have officially been ushered into the pop culture as major stars. you are in the game now. you are brand. you are well known. you have arrived. i think it actually only helps anything else that they want to do. his clothing line, her doing this talk show where she's sitting among renee sylor and lee woodruff. you know, a journalist, and she's among their company and paula dean, who is obviously a huge star. she is now a huge star, and i think, you know, these late night talk show hosts, they can't help but ignore these people that everybody is talking about, and i think, a.j., you and i and most of your guests, haven't we kind of been having fun with them for months now too before jay and the rest of them? >> it's true. no, if that's your definition of having arrived, i think it happened some time ago. when you think about comedian and good friend of the show tonight kathie griffin, and now she's been making a living often of jon and kate gosselin for months now. she'

these are two things that got jimmy kimmel thinking of the perfect spoof. what a new jon and kate show would be like. >> sixteen desperate single womb, one available guy. kate gosselin presents, who wants to be the underaged shut having sex with my husband above the garage while he's supposed to be watching a litter of kids. >> lisa, what do you think about all the drama about both of them that's been in the news lately and how jon is with this woman who is ten years younger than them? do jon and kate deserve to be a laughingstock? >> i'll tell you something. i think, yes, they do. what does it mean when you are made the butt of jokes by guys like jimmy kimmel and jay leno, it means you've arrived. you're stars. you've been ushered into the pop culture as major stars. you're in the game now. you're brands. you've arrived. i think it actually only helps anything else that they want to do. his clothing line. her doing a talk show where she's sitting along renee siler, lee woodruff, a journalist, paula dean, obviously a huge star. she is now a huge star. i thi

what does it mean when you are made the butt of jokes by guys like jimmy kimmel and jay leno?ally been ushered into the pop culture firmament. you're in the game, you're brands, i mean i think it only helps anything. his clothing line, her talk show, where she is sitting among lee woodruff, you know, a journalist, and she's among their company and paula dean, a huge star, she is now a huge star. i think these late night talk show hosts can't help but ignore these people that everybody is talking about. i think a.j., you and i and most of your guests haven't we been having fun for them for some months before jay and the rest of them. >> it's true. no. if that's your definition of having arrived i think it happened sometime ago. when you think about good friend of "showbiz tonight" kathy griffin, now she's making a living off taking stabs at jon and kate for months. check out the spoof that she did for jimmy kimmel live. >> she was a mother. >> i told you monsters to cram it. mommy's doing a satellite feed with regis. >> but mom, we're thirsty. >> wa-wa-wa. drink the tears of fa

[ laughter ] >> jimmy kimmel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: senator john mccain, everybodyxt. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what makes a hershey's bar pure? . . pure hershey's. score delivery pizza... hut! hut! ( thud ) ouch! . ♪ for fresh delivery taste without the delivery price, it's digiorno. ♪ even more freedom to the freest country on earth. so why should you be penalized for talking to someone, just because they're on another network. shouldn't you be able to call any mobile... on any network, at any time? it's a free country. knock yourself out. announcer: introducing the revolutionary any mobile, anytime. now on the sprint network you're free to call 250 million mobile phones nationwide without worrying about the meter running. only from sprint. the now network. deaf, hard of hearing and people with speech disabilities access www.sprintrelay.com. has a way to get things cooking..... at home. they're macaroni grill dinner kits, the restaurant favorites that'll ignite your senses. you get the pasta, special sauces and seasonings. add your grilled chicken, cook for 20 min

kathy was on jimmy kimmel live, a good friend of ours, wednesday night where she debuted her new movie"kate is enough, the kate gosselin story." watch. >> here's kathy griffin's new movie. take a look. >> smooth mother. >> i told you once not to cram that positivelyly pocket in your p -- polly pocket in your piehole. >> she's a wife. >> hi, honey. >> can i use the bathroom? >> and she was a tabloid superstar. >> that's right. look at this mama's ass and look at the tummy tuck scars [ bleep ]. >> kathy griffin is kate gosselin. george sekay is john gosselin. "kate is enough," the kate gosselin story. >> larry: that was brilliant. kate got some advice from kathy griffin. she'll tell us what kate is doing now, what she's doing wrong and why kathy is considering john gosselin for her next boyfriend. that's next, stick around. >>> by>> larry: by the way, you'll love the index. the comment is about larry king's brother. what is your real opinion of kate gosselin? >> well, i love that show and i've been watching it since it was an innocent christian show about the christian couple who has the

[ laughter ] >> jimmy kimmel. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: senator john mccain, everybody joins us next. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. our next guest is the biggest star on nickelodeon right now, with her emmy nominated show "icarly." just got picked up for another season. say hello to the lovely miranda cosgrove, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome, welcome. i am surprised. i didn't see you last night 'cause we were walking by. >> i saw you run by. you're too big for me. >> jimmy: the vmas. yeah, i was running around. i was afraid of kanye. [ laughter ] i -- you never know what he's gonna do. you had to introduce taylor swift. >> yeah, it was a lot of fun. it was the first time to going to the vmas. but, i thought it was kind of lame. i mean, it was like taylor swift's moment. the end was cool when beyonce had her come out. i loved that. that was really awesome. >> jimmy: i love beyonce. she's good, yeah. that kanye thing too -- that's what you get when you invite kanye to your party. he's gonna go

i'm not sure if this is for lifetime or a jimmy kimmel production, either way, watch. >> here is herew movie. take a look. >> hi, honey. >> hi. >> want to grab that for us here? >> and she was a tabloid superstar. >> that's right. look at these mama abs. >> you don't love the kids. >> of course i love kids. have you seen my girl it's john gosselin. kate is enough. the kate gosselin story only on lifetime. >> we got advice from kate and what she's doing now and why she canopy egyptian cotton sheets are designed to get softer every time you wash them. and canopy comforters don't have to be dry-cleaned, which makes your bed easier to sleep in and that much harder to leave. canopy home furnishings. available at walmart. save money. live better. walmart. to get out of those tubs? when we want. when we're in the mood. it's our choice. announcer: today, guys with erectile dysfunction can be ready with another dosing option from cialis. cialis for daily use is a clinically proven low-dose tablet you take every day, so you can be ready anytime the moment is right. so relax and take your time.

jimmy kimmel. sfoo this is from the phillies game last night in where a lucky fan made a pretty nice catch in the stands. >> go after him there, and lose a fast ball. to the upper deck. caused by that man right there. it's grabbed. there it goes. he sees them do it all the time. >> that's what you get tore teaching her how to share. >> jimmy kwimel, everybody. my favorite moment. i love watching that tape. that is the mash-up. new developments when we come back tonight in the murder of yale grad student annie le. we'll dig into the background of the suspect here, raymond clark, and tell you why police had him in their sights. >>> and breaking news to share with you also. we're just getting our first look inside the home where jaycee dugard was held captive for 18 years. we'll go live to california in a moment. i'm ed whitacre, the new chairman of general motors. before i started this job, i admit, i had some doubts. probably a lot like you. but i like what i found. i think you will too. car for car

when you came to do "late night with jimmy fallon." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you thought i was "jimmy kimmelthe club all the time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's right. i'm always in the club dancing. my dancing is so lame. i apologize. >> we'll work it out, brother. we'll work it out. yeah, but you wanted to make sure that you had one of the dopest of the baddest bands in the land. that's the baddest band in the land. and so, you know, i wanted to give an opportunity for the next roots. the next generation of roots to come in and play with me all over the world. so, it's just really giving like some of the young musicians, young cats that don't really get a chance at the auditions, giving them a chance to come and audition for me. and then, you know, we're going to rehearse day and night and just aspire to be the roots one day. >> jimmy: that's a goal right there. >> that's the goal. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's a cool show. are they going to record on your album? >> they are -- i'm finishing an album now. they are going to help me with maybe two songs. that's one of the things that they'll b

. >> here's one idea the jimmy kimmel live show came up with. think this is a good one. >> 16 desperate single women, one available guy. kate gosselin presents who wants to be the underaged to have sex with my ex-husband above the garage? >> there's a title for you right there. lauren lake, what do you say? i mean, in all seriousness, if kate gosselin becomes the host of her own show she's going to become the butt of every late night joke. certainly will provide a lot of fodder in nothing else. >> she will. however, she is a woman with eight kids and going to be single soon. she's going to need a way to make money. the problem is she's going to need to use that money to get coaching. from what i saw it was a tad bit limp. >> didn't do it for you. lauren lake, carlos diaz. we'll see if the jimmy kimmel show they came up comes to fruition. >>> here's our "showbiz tonight" question of the day. jennifer aniston's new movie flops. are you surprised? keep voting. e-mail us more of your thoughts at "showbiz tonight"@cnn.com. >>> i always thought beyonc

. >> here's one idea that the "jimmy kimmel live!" show came up with.le women, one available guy. kate gosselin presents who wants to be the underaged slut who has sex with my ex-husband above the garage? >> there's a title for you right there. lauren lake, what do you say? i mean, in all seriousness, if kate gosselin becomes the host of her own show she's going to become the butt of every late night joke. certainly will provide a lot of fodder if nothing else. >> she will. however, she is a woman with eight kids and going to be single soon. she's going to need a way to make money. the problem is she's going to need to use that money to get some coaching. because from what i saw, it was just a tad bit limp. >> just didn't do it for you. all right, lauren lake, carlos diaz, thank you for your input and we'll see if that jimmy kimmel show that they came up with actually comes to fruition. that would be interesting. >>> now let me turn it over to you. here's our "showbiz tonight" question of the day. pulling no punches here, jennifer aniston's new movie fl

check out this hilarious spoof she did for jimmie kimmel. >> but mom, i'm thirsty.but kathy told me what she thinks of jon. >> he's a tool. he's a tool. sitting there rolling his eyes. it's "kate plus 9." and she's another win we are the tummy tuck and -- my mother didn't have a tummy tuck. she has a box of wine and a mumu. >> when they take these chances, they are trying to create careers outside of the reality show. >> hold on one second, kids, shut up, okay? >> back to important business. no, you can't have a drink. jon gosselin last i checked is not running for senator of pennsylvania. he's running to get another reality show. so and the last i checked he wants to do a reality show as a divorced dad moving on with his life. he knows what he is and he knows what his brand is and it's not barack obama. his brand is for joe six-pack. so i think it's -- i think it's going to be totally fine. >> listen to this, joy behart stopped by to tell when what she thinks of them being laughing stocks -- joy did not hold back with me today when i asked her what she thought abou

however, you didn't show up for any of your interviews, including the one with my boy jimmy kimmel. so, for that girlfriend, being a sore loser, no. you get the award. >> all right, niecy nash has spoken. now, tune in to her other big show, "clean house" and make sure you catch "the insider" tomorrow to find out who will be our next best and worst celebrity of the day. until then, good night from the new "insider." when morning comes in the middle of the night, [ rooster crow ] it affects your entire day. to get a good night's sleep, try 2-layer ambien cr. the first layer dissolves quickly... to help you fall asleep. and unlike other sleep aids, a second dissolves slowly to help you stay asleep. when taking ambien cr, don't drive or operate machinery. sleepwalking, and eating or driving... while not fully awake with memory loss for the event... as well as abnormal behaviors... such as being more outgoing or aggressive than normal, confusion, agitation and hallucinations may occur. don't take it with alcohol... as it may increase these behaviors. allergic reactions such as shortness