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Jan 11, 2011
01/11
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. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. do you like to get together with family and friends to play touch football over the holidays? you do? the clorox toilet bowl was created for you. the inaugural game will be played in new orleans january 13. former nfl quarterback and bachelor jesse palmer will play all-time quarterback for two lucky teams. my pals are warming up for the toilet bowl right now as a matter of fact. hey, guys, how's it going in there? >> very good, jimmy. rough and tumble. >> yeah, football. >> jimmy: who's winning? >> it's very close. first, i score a touchdown. then a touchdown. then -- oh, no. >> jimmy: oh, no, what's wrong, guys? >> i think -- coming in. >> jimmy: here it comes now. well, i killed them. >> the clorox toilet bowl in new orleans this january. >> jimmy: jimmy kimmel live back in two minutes. [ male announcer ] in the event of a collision, the smartest thing you could do is cut the fuel supply... ♪ ...unlock the doors, and turn on the hazard lights. or better yet, get a car that automatic
. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. do you like to get together with family and friends to play touch football over the holidays? you do? the clorox toilet bowl was created for you. the inaugural game will be played in new orleans january 13. former nfl quarterback and bachelor jesse palmer will play all-time quarterback for two lucky teams. my pals are warming up for the toilet bowl right now as a matter of fact. hey, guys, how's it going in there? >> very good, jimmy. rough and...
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Jan 14, 2011
01/11
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huh. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! immy: oh, crap, i'm late again. >> action! >> dicky: and now, bonjour. here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for coming. michel? michel? what should i do about him? >> interact with yourself. just talk to yourself. that's a great opportunity to sbro spekt your double personality. >> jimmy: yeah, you don't understand, i have to do a monologue, and it's not one if there's two guys. >> see, you don't respect the director here, especially the french one. >> jimmy: that's not true. i do the show by myself and that's -- i apologize. where was i? oh, yeah, there's a new animal sensation from germany, remember the polar bear? well, he's old news now. the new thing the internet is excited about is heidi, the cross-eyed possum. >> say hello to heidi the cross-eyed possum has become a media sensation in the country, despite the fact that she hasn't been seen in public yet. >> jimmy: well, that is cuter than a ferret with tourette's, i tell you that. >> well
huh. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! immy: oh, crap, i'm late again. >> action! >> dicky: and now, bonjour. here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for coming. michel? michel? what should i do about him? >> interact with yourself. just talk to yourself. that's a great opportunity to sbro spekt your double personality. >> jimmy: yeah, you don't understand, i have to do a monologue, and it's...
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"jimmy kimmel live" bac >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." ♪ it's jimmy kimmel livey: and now once again here's jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: thank you very much. i'm jimmy. thanks for coming. thank you for watching. and allow me to be the first to wish you a happy new year. [ cheers and applause ] my new year's resolution this year, same as last year, which is eat more gluten. that's right. [ laughter ] what even is gluten? and why are people so against it? [ laughter ] the first two weeks of january, typically when people try to lose weight, and it's a golden time of the year for me because the line at sizzler is much shorter. [ laughter ] you can eat all the chickpeas you want. but i don't understand why people resolve to lose weight because when you do this, you always gain it back. you should resolve to lose something more realistic like keys. [ laughter ] this year i'm going to lose 35 keys. [ laughter ] it's been raining here in l.a. hard for the past couple of weeks. which is unacceptable. on behalf of the chamber of commerce, i apologize to those of you visiting.
"jimmy kimmel live" bac >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." ♪ it's jimmy kimmel livey: and now once again here's jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: thank you very much. i'm jimmy. thanks for coming. thank you for watching. and allow me to be the first to wish you a happy new year. [ cheers and applause ] my new year's resolution this year, same as last year, which is eat more gluten. that's right. [ laughter ] what even is gluten? and why are people so...
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Jan 26, 2011
01/11
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call me jimmy. >> mr. kimmel buzz 14 but i have extensive experience. >> jimmy: you know, about that, when i hired you, you said you were 28. >> mr. kimmel, it makes no matter if you knew my age correctly. surely a man of your age and learning should know better that a girl 14 is twice her age. >> jimmy: okay, i have no idea what you're talking about, but can i get lunch? >> mr. kimmel, you need to forego at least a small amount of food to manage your health. >> jimmy: so, i can't get lunch? >> i'm looking for lunch myself. >> jimmy: go get lunch. please. >> but i do not have money in which to purchase food. after all, i am just 14 years old. >> jimmy: all right, here, listen, get lunch for yourself, please, and just you go ahead and eat. don't worry about me, all right? >> thank you mr. kimmel. pleasure doing business with you. >> jimmy: you too. and hailee? you're fired. yeah. well, imagine how red faced i am now that you're nominated for an academy award. i never would have fired you. well, cob garangratulatio
call me jimmy. >> mr. kimmel buzz 14 but i have extensive experience. >> jimmy: you know, about that, when i hired you, you said you were 28. >> mr. kimmel, it makes no matter if you knew my age correctly. surely a man of your age and learning should know better that a girl 14 is twice her age. >> jimmy: okay, i have no idea what you're talking about, but can i get lunch? >> mr. kimmel, you need to forego at least a small amount of food to manage your health....
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Jan 25, 2011
01/11
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. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight cory monteith from "glee" and "joan & melissa," joan rivers and music from the script on our outdoor stage and the bachelor drinking game. >> every time they say amazing we'll drink. >> every time? >> yeah. >> wow. >> are you ready. >> i'm ready. >> okay. >> tonight on "the bachelor." >> this is amazing. >> whoa. >> amazing. >> salut. >> like our own drunken "jersey shore" cast. there ya go... now when you use chase freedom at the grocery store, you get 5% cash back. don't miss out. activate your 5% today. go to chase.com/freedom. with beauty... ♪ ...and brains. now get a samsung focus™ for only $99.99. only from at&t. rethink possible. here's the gum for the rest of the time. dentyne pure. it purifies your breath deliciously instead of just covering it up. dentyne pure. practice safe breath. instead of just covering it up. with olay challenge that. olay bodywash has 2 times the combined cleansers and moisturizers and 25 percent less water than the top selling body
. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight cory monteith from "glee" and "joan & melissa," joan rivers and music from the script on our outdoor stage and the bachelor drinking game. >> every time they say amazing we'll drink. >> every time? >> yeah. >> wow. >> are you ready. >> i'm ready. >> okay. >> tonight on "the bachelor." >> this is amazing. >> whoa. >> amazing. >>...
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Jan 20, 2011
01/11
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. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. tonight on the show, wilmer valderrama, music from new politics, and the great don rickles. i'm standing outside don rickles' dressing room right now and -- >> jimmy, will you go away? i don't need you. go away. biggest pain in the neck -- >> jimmy: he's in a good mood. that's good. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. whenever the whole family gets together, we always make time for just us cousins. like the other night at olive garden. this is like being back at the kids' table. try our two new scaloppini dishes. pan-seared chicken or sauteed pork. both served with asiago filled tortelloni. at olive garden. [ record scratches ] ...and over [ record scratches ] probably isn't giving results you want. discover neosporin® lip health™. shown to restore visibly healthier lips in just 3 days. neosporin® lip health™. rethink your lip care. here's the gum for the rest of the time. dentyne pure. it purifies your breath deliciously instead of just covering it up. dentyne pure. practice saf
. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. tonight on the show, wilmer valderrama, music from new politics, and the great don rickles. i'm standing outside don rickles' dressing room right now and -- >> jimmy, will you go away? i don't need you. go away. biggest pain in the neck -- >> jimmy: he's in a good mood. that's good. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. whenever the whole family gets together, we always make time for just us cousins. like the other night at olive...
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jimmy kimmel!ers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for everything you've done so far. please, i have to make this quick. i want to go home and play with my singamajigs. as of right now, no one is allowed to say happy new year anymore. it's enough. [ applause ] the new year is six days old. if the new year was shrimp, it would be spoiled by now. if someone says happy new year tomorrow, don't be rude, just say, no, not anymore. in washington, the 112th congress was sworn in this morning, with republicans taking control of the house for the first time in four years. and republicans say their plan is to stick to a strict interpretation of the original constitution, so, i hope you didn't like voting, women and non-whites. they're also hoping to cut back on government regulation of wall street, which is good, i mean, i think we can all agree that wall street does a pretty good job of policing itself, so -- [ laughter ] republican congress
jimmy kimmel!ers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for everything you've done so far. please, i have to make this quick. i want to go home and play with my singamajigs. as of right now, no one is allowed to say happy new year anymore. it's enough. [ applause ] the new year is six days old. if the new year was shrimp, it would be spoiled by now. if someone says happy new year tomorrow, don't be rude, just say, no, not...
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Jan 21, 2011
01/11
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. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. tonight on the show, from the movie "blue valentine," ryan gosling. from every reality show on e!, kourtney kardashian. we have music from ra ra riot. and why is this woman so unhappy? >> it's humiliating when it doesn't happen to you. it's funny when it's not you. when it's you, it's a totally different feeling. it's a totally, totally different feeling. >> well, she's upset because she was texting while walking and she wound up in this fountain. and -- now she has a lawyer. that, and more tonight. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. that. i switched to sprint's $69.99 plan, so i wasn't charged extra. [ buzzes ] okay, i just got your breakup e-mail. e-mails are unlimited, too. and look -- i just changed my facebook status to "single." but internet's also unlimited. [ cellphone buzzing ] deaf, hard-of-hearing and people with speech disabilities, access www.sprintrelay.com. yeah. [ male announcer ] only sprint gives you unlimited text, web, and calling to any mobile for just $69.
. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. tonight on the show, from the movie "blue valentine," ryan gosling. from every reality show on e!, kourtney kardashian. we have music from ra ra riot. and why is this woman so unhappy? >> it's humiliating when it doesn't happen to you. it's funny when it's not you. when it's you, it's a totally different feeling. it's a totally, totally different feeling. >> well, she's upset because she was texting while walking and she wound up in...
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jimmy kimmel! and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. thank you very much. welcome to the show. i'm jimmy, and -- and that's my go cart. thank you. i -- i appreciate that. hold on, let me make my hair perfect. there we go. that's very nice. i was on the ellen degeneres show today and she gave me a go cart for saving her life. i've been driving it everywhere. has ellen ever given you a go cart? i didn't think so. by the way, you notice i'm not wearing a helmet? that's because i'm rebellious. that's right. one of my new year's resolutions is to raise more hell in 2011. i'm doing it with the go cart there. i'm planning on eating by body weight in pez, as well. that's what 2011 has in store with me. do you have a new year's resolution, uncle frank? >> yeah, to stay alive for at least one more year. >> jimmy: that's a very good one. [ applause ] and you're doing it because you are actually multiplying. this morning at 4:00 in the morning, uncle frank, for the first time in his lengthy life, bec
jimmy kimmel! and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everyone. thank you very much. welcome to the show. i'm jimmy, and -- and that's my go cart. thank you. i -- i appreciate that. hold on, let me make my hair perfect. there we go. that's very nice. i was on the ellen degeneres show today and she gave me a go cart for saving her life. i've been driving it everywhere. has ellen ever given you a go cart? i didn't think so. by the way, you notice i'm not wearing a helmet? that's because i'm...
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Jan 19, 2011
01/11
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here's jimmy kimmel! cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you very much. thank you for watching. thank you for showing your faces. i didn't think you had the guts, but you did. i was wrong. hey, quite a bomb shell we got hit with this morning. regis philbin announced that as of this summer, he will no longer be apart of "live with regis and kelly." he's going to leave the show and i guess they'll have to find someone else named regis to fill in for him. he's 79 years old. which is easy to forget, because he has the energy of a chihuahua on meth. she's be he's been on tv since there was tv. he would put a fish bowl on his head and do cigarette commercials for the neighbors and then somebody, i guess, got the idea for television. he's done with the daily grind, i guess, and said he's looking forward to spending more time guarding his pot of gold -- not his potty. that would be weird. i'm going to stay in the bathroom! but i don't like this at all. we're losing oprah this
here's jimmy kimmel! cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you very much. thank you for watching. thank you for showing your faces. i didn't think you had the guts, but you did. i was wrong. hey, quite a bomb shell we got hit with this morning. regis philbin announced that as of this summer, he will no longer be apart of "live with regis and kelly." he's going to leave the show and i guess they'll have to find someone else named regis to fill...
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Jan 27, 2011
01/11
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with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, one last thing -- here's jimmyl! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. it's -- it's a special night for us here tonight. it's our anniversary. we started on the air january 26th, 2003. eight years ago, on super bowl sunday. i was totally overwhelmed. i had no idea what was happening. and i certainly didn't think i'd still be here today. i shouldn't say that. i thought it would be here but i assumed i'd be out front of the theater dressed as spider-man taking pictures with you for a dollar. i tell you, it's weird to see yourself age on television. i don't feel like i'm older or any different but we found this picture. this is from our first night on the air. and -- [ laughter ] my hair was longer. and that was before i wore a tie. a lot has changed since we started. and not just that. i was thinking about it today. in 2003, there was no facebook. there was no iphone. a text was a book you had to read for school. a tweet was
with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, one last thing -- here's jimmyl! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, cleto. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thank you for coming. it's -- it's a special night for us here tonight. it's our anniversary. we started on the air january 26th, 2003. eight years ago, on super bowl sunday. i was totally overwhelmed. i had no idea what was happening. and i certainly...
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Jan 22, 2011
01/11
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"jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. oh yes! ♪ what about love?! female announcer ] swiffer attracts dust. swiffer 360 dusters gets in hard to reach places. it picks up two times more dust than a feather duster using thousands of fluffy fibers to lock dust away. you're just my type! [ laughs ] [ female announcer ] swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning. looif i'll finally get the can fecoverage my family deserves. if it's something we can afford. to steer clear of the confusion, go to metlife.com in less than 5 minutes, you'll get straight answers. like how much life insurance you really need and how much it costs. so, no matter where you end up buying, you'll make the best decision for your family. get guarantees for the if in life. from metlife. call 1-888-metlife for your free quote with no pressure or obligation. this is android. which powers the evo. this is something nice someone said about the evo. so is this. ♪ and this. and all this. ♪ and this is the new htc evo shift 4g. a smaller evo with a slide out keyboard. only from sprint, the
"jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. oh yes! ♪ what about love?! female announcer ] swiffer attracts dust. swiffer 360 dusters gets in hard to reach places. it picks up two times more dust than a feather duster using thousands of fluffy fibers to lock dust away. you're just my type! [ laughs ] [ female announcer ] swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning. looif i'll finally get the can fecoverage my family deserves. if it's something we can afford. to steer clear of the...
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Jan 12, 2011
01/11
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. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on our show tonight, from the new movie, "the dilemma," dreamy channing tatum. from the new show "off the map," mamie gummer. we have music from a day to remember. and with the weather being what it is, we check in with chief meteorologist candy guitterez. what's the latest candy? >> oh, my gosh. it's a mess out there, jimmy. an unstable low pressure ridge is dumping snow everywhere from pittsburgh to burlington to rochester. and a bunch of other places. >> jimmy: show us pittsburgh one more time? because i think i might have missed it. >> pittsburgh. >> jimmy: that's it. hey, it's meteorology, not geography, folks. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. o...um...thank you. excuse me... this is yours... thank you! you're welcome. with chase freedom, you get cash back on what you buy everyday. this is yours! thank you! that's 5% cash back in bonus categories every three months. and an unlimited 1% everywhere else. activate your 5% cash back today at chase.com/freedom, or at your loc
. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on our show tonight, from the new movie, "the dilemma," dreamy channing tatum. from the new show "off the map," mamie gummer. we have music from a day to remember. and with the weather being what it is, we check in with chief meteorologist candy guitterez. what's the latest candy? >> oh, my gosh. it's a mess out there, jimmy. an unstable low pressure ridge is dumping snow everywhere from pittsburgh to burlington to rochester. and...
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Jan 28, 2011
01/11
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jimmy kimmel!ers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to open of you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the program. thank you for inviting me into your life and it's an important day today. it's an important night. tonight is our parking lot security guard, our friend, our little angel, guillermo's 40th birthday. [ cheers and applause ] that's -- guillermo turned 40 years old today. his mustache turned 32. it seems like only yesterday we were celebrating, guillermo. i guess it's true. guacamole really keeps you looking young. guillermo proved, if you come to this country and work kind of hard sometimes, but mostly not really, and you drink a lot, anything is possible. so -- [ cheers and applause ] i want to say this. sometimes people think guillermo is an actor that we hired. that is not true. he really was our parking lot security guard. he worked in the parking lot and he worked at a restaurant part time also. we thought he was funny so we started putting him on the air and then like a human pinata, wonderf
jimmy kimmel!ers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to open of you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the program. thank you for inviting me into your life and it's an important day today. it's an important night. tonight is our parking lot security guard, our friend, our little angel, guillermo's 40th birthday. [ cheers and applause ] that's -- guillermo turned 40 years old today. his mustache turned 32. it seems like only yesterday we were celebrating, guillermo. i guess it's true. guacamole...
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with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, having said that, here's jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, everyone. thank you, cleto. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for being here. thank you for watching at home. and you know what? i appreciate that. i won't say we couldn't do it without you, but there wouldn't be much point. so thank you for being here. you know, today in washington, it was a big day in politics. the new republican controlled house of representatives opened the 112th congress. to honor the founding fathers, they decided to start things off by reading the entire constitution allowed. they took turns, the congressmen. and there was a break for lunch and a slave auction, and then they finished. i'm glad they read it, though. i learned a lot. for example, did you know congress has the power to exercise exclusive legislation in all cases whatsoever over such district not exceeding ten miles square as may be session of particular states and the acceptance of congress become the seat of government of the united states an
with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, having said that, here's jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, everyone. thank you, cleto. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for being here. thank you for watching at home. and you know what? i appreciate that. i won't say we couldn't do it without you, but there wouldn't be much point. so thank you for being here. you know, today in washington, it was a big day in politics....
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Jan 29, 2011
01/11
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with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, as scheduled, here's jimmy [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, fellas. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's thursday, which means we had a difficult choice to make tonight which was whether to watch "american idol" or "jersey shore." you know, if only snooki sang karaoke, we could have both. i hate being forced to choose between j.lo and j-woww. but thank got for tivo, i didn't have to. tonight was the second night of "american idol." which means we have 985 nights to go. they're in new orleans. there's so much talent in the city of new orleans and yet we saw none of it tonight on "american idol." ratings for the premiere last night were down 18% from last year, despite interest in the new judges. still, though, 26 million viewers, which, i think is even more than we have for this show. so that's a lot. steven tyler, jennifer lopez and randy jackson are the new judges. now, put them up on the screen. i notice something. if you go from lef
with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> dicky: and now, as scheduled, here's jimmy [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, fellas. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. it's thursday, which means we had a difficult choice to make tonight which was whether to watch "american idol" or "jersey shore." you know, if only snooki sang karaoke, we could have both. i hate being...
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Jan 13, 2011
01/11
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. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel.the show tonight, from "grey's anatomy" and the new movie "rabbit hole" sandra oh. from "modern family," the kids are here -- nolan gould, ariel winter, and rico rodriguez. we have music from fitz & the tantrums. and these two viewers, from texas and maryland, will go head-to-virtual-head, via skype, with a live scavenger hunt from inside their own house. are you ready, chris and heaven? >> both: yes. >> jimmy: by the way, to find out which one's chris and which one's heaven, tuned. "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes. ford fusion hybrid emerges as the clear fuel economy leader. kimberly? the fusion hybrid holds a 10 mile per gallon advantage in the city over the toyota camry hybrid. uh... that's not good. i would like 10 more miles. he's going to have a lot to think about, kimberly. and there you have it. fusion hybrid. the most fuel-efficient midsize sedan in america. pediatrician recommended pain reliever for children. plus, children's advil® brings fever down faster than child
. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel.the show tonight, from "grey's anatomy" and the new movie "rabbit hole" sandra oh. from "modern family," the kids are here -- nolan gould, ariel winter, and rico rodriguez. we have music from fitz & the tantrums. and these two viewers, from texas and maryland, will go head-to-virtual-head, via skype, with a live scavenger hunt from inside their own house. are you ready, chris and heaven? >> both: yes. >> jimmy:...
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Jan 26, 2011
01/11
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but first, jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on "jimmy kimmel live." jimmy?> jimmy: tonight on the show, the great anthony hopkins is here. from "true grit," 14-year-old hailee steinfeld and music from delta spirit. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. there she is! 3q hey, i got a leak! yoo hoo! your husband left the seat up again! oh, wait a minute! come on, now. come back! um, miss? up here! right. so those are hard water stains, and that cleaner's not gonna cut it. truth is, 85% of us have hard water. you need lime-a-way, the hard water expert. unlike the leading all-purpose cleaner, lime-a-way is specially formulated to conquer hard water stains. for lime calcium and rust, lime-a-way is a must. that's why i got them pillsbury toaster strudel. warm flaky pastry with delicious sweet filling my kids will love. plus i get two boxtops for their school. toaster strudel. the one kids want to eat. plus i get two boxtops for their school. winning is my but we lost today. no, we didn't... ♪ we're the kids in america ♪h, oh, oh
but first, jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on "jimmy kimmel live." jimmy?> jimmy: tonight on the show, the great anthony hopkins is here. from "true grit," 14-year-old hailee steinfeld and music from delta spirit. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. there she is! 3q hey, i got a leak! yoo hoo! your husband left the seat up again! oh, wait a minute! come on, now. come back! um, miss? up here! right. so those are hard water stains, and that cleaner's not gonna...
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Jan 18, 2011
01/11
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. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight, from the new series "episodes," matt leblanc. from "no ordinary family," julie benz. and a live performance by this guy. his name is michael carbonaro, he has the smoothest skin in show business. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes. it is who we are and what makes us great. we debate politics. we debate sports. we debate art. and we debate debates. ♪ but when it comes to cars... the debate...is over. the 2011 s-class. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> woman: with the right guidance, i get exactly where i want to go. >> gps: turn left ahead. >> turbotax has a unique gps feature that guides me to every deduction and credit i deserve. and calculations are guaranteed accurate. so i get my maximum refund, guaranteed. >> man: try turbotax now. last night was amazing. was that cinnamon you put in the dessert? yeah. little dash of nutmeg too. mmm, nutmeg. [ female announcer ] k-y brand intense. makes that big moment feel even bigger. [ whistle blows ] [ squishing
. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. on the show tonight, from the new series "episodes," matt leblanc. from "no ordinary family," julie benz. and a live performance by this guy. his name is michael carbonaro, he has the smoothest skin in show business. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes. it is who we are and what makes us great. we debate politics. we debate sports. we debate art. and we debate debates. ♪ but when it comes to cars... the debate...is...
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Jan 28, 2011
01/11
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but first, here's what's coming up next with jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: on the show tonight, ryan seacrestere. from "the fighter," melissa leo. music from cage the elephant and "this week in unnecessary censorship." "jimmy kimmel live" is next. 43q lysol believes kids shouldn't miss school during cold and flu season. that's why lysol created a healthy way to wash hands and developed healthy habits programs for schools with a pediatrician. for healthy tips and more visit lysol.com/missionforhealth. recently tested automatic dishwashing detergents. they rated finish quantum number one, beating the competition ! try finish quantum for amazing clean and shine. satisfaction guaranteed or your money back.
but first, here's what's coming up next with jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: on the show tonight, ryan seacrestere. from "the fighter," melissa leo. music from cage the elephant and "this week in unnecessary censorship." "jimmy kimmel live" is next. 43q lysol believes kids shouldn't miss school during cold and flu season. that's why lysol created a healthy way to wash hands and developed healthy habits programs for schools with a pediatrician. for healthy tips and...
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Jan 29, 2011
01/11
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but first, here's what's next with jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: tonight, ryan gosling, kourtney kardashian ra ra riot, and something else that i can't remember right now. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. ztzq looking to add a little smile to your chili ? try french's. mac and cheese need a boost ? french's helps that, too. chicken in need of cheering up? add french's to your marinade. it's a surprising way to add a little fun to your food and a whole lot of happy to your family. for recipes and valuable coupons, go to frenchs.com to add a little happy to almost any meal. french's. happy starts here. a man can only try... and try...and try. i heard eating wle grain oats can help lower my cholesterol. it's gonna be tough...so tough. my wife and i want to lowe our cholesterol, but finding healthy food that tastes good is torturous. your father is suffering.
but first, here's what's next with jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: tonight, ryan gosling, kourtney kardashian ra ra riot, and something else that i can't remember right now. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. ztzq looking to add a little smile to your chili ? try french's. mac and cheese need a boost ? french's helps that, too. chicken in need of cheering up? add french's to your marinade. it's a surprising way to add a little fun to your food and a whole lot of happy to your family. for...
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Jan 22, 2011
01/11
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but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?jimmy: tonight, james mcavoy, jim stur guess, music from kt tunstall and "this week in unnecessary censorship." "jimmy kimmel live" is next. [ female announcer ] why settle for plain bread when you can have pillsbury grands! flaky layers biscuits? the warm, light delicate layers are like nothing else. ♪ layers of brownie and caramel, dipped in chocolate. ready to eat sweet moments. find them in the refrigerated section.
but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?jimmy: tonight, james mcavoy, jim stur guess, music from kt tunstall and "this week in unnecessary censorship." "jimmy kimmel live" is next. [ female announcer ] why settle for plain bread when you can have pillsbury grands! flaky layers biscuits? the warm, light delicate layers are like nothing else. ♪ layers of brownie and caramel, dipped in chocolate. ready to eat sweet moments. find them in the...
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when we come back, freshmen congressmen throw a party, but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming> jimmy: tonight, matt leblanc is here, julie benz is with us, and we will witness a man lathering himself with shaving cream. why not? "jimmy kimmel live" is next. health matters to all of us. that's why lysol has started a mission for health. with new mom programs, lysol healthy habits initiatives in schools and disaster relief efforts. when you use lysol at home, you'll know you're a part of something bigger. for healthy tips and more, visit lysol.com/missionforhealth. that's why i got them pillsbury toaster strudel. warm flaky pastry with delicious sweet filling my kids will love. plus i get two boxtops for their school. toaster strudel. the one kids want to eat. plus i get two boxtops for their school. winning is my but we lost today. no, we didn't... ♪ we're the kids in america ♪h, oh, oh ♪ we're the kids in america ♪ oh, oh, oh [ female announcer ] important events can sneak up on you. oh, i am not ready. can i have a couple weeks? you could be ready. you could lose 5 pounds in
when we come back, freshmen congressmen throw a party, but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming> jimmy: tonight, matt leblanc is here, julie benz is with us, and we will witness a man lathering himself with shaving cream. why not? "jimmy kimmel live" is next. health matters to all of us. that's why lysol has started a mission for health. with new mom programs, lysol healthy habits initiatives in schools and disaster relief efforts. when you use lysol at home, you'll know...
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Jan 20, 2011
01/11
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. >> we'll be right back, but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: tonightn rickles, wilmer valderrama, music from new politics and together, we mourn the return of "american idol." "jimmy kimmel live" is next. cbcb [ male announcer ] nature is unique... ...authentic... ...pure... and also delicious. ♪ like nature valley. granola bars made with crunchy oats and pure honey. because natural is not only good, it also tastes good. nature valley -- 100% natural. 100% delicious.
. >> we'll be right back, but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: tonightn rickles, wilmer valderrama, music from new politics and together, we mourn the return of "american idol." "jimmy kimmel live" is next. cbcb [ male announcer ] nature is unique... ...authentic... ...pure... and also delicious. ♪ like nature valley. granola bars made with crunchy oats and pure honey. because natural is not only good, it also tastes good. nature...
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Jan 27, 2011
01/11
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but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?ight on the show, amy poehler is here. martha plimpton is with us. we have music from cold war kids and it's our eighth anniversary, so, bring a gift. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. [a[v
but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?ight on the show, amy poehler is here. martha plimpton is with us. we have music from cold war kids and it's our eighth anniversary, so, bring a gift. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. [a[v
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Jan 25, 2011
01/11
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KGO
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tomorrow's state of the union is the subject of tonight's "closing argument" but first here's jimmy kimmelmy: tonight, cory monteith from "glee." joan rivers is here and music from the script and who is oprah's secret half sister? "jimmy kimmel live" is next. this is a strawberry pop-tart. and this is the warm fresh baked taste... of a strawberry toaster strudel. see the difference? pillsbury toaster strudel. the one kids want to eat. than listening there'to our favorite songs. there's nothing we love more than listening to our favorite songs. but our favorite thing is eating totino's pizza rolls. but our favorite thing is eating totino's pizza rolls. ♪ we're the kids in america ♪ oh, oh, oh when you use lysol neutra air fabric mist. it kills 99.9% of bacteria on soft surfaces and eliminates odors at their source better than febreze. so now a fresh home is the sign of a healthy home. for tips on a healthy home, visit lysol.com/missionforhealth. twizzlers. the twist you can't resist.
tomorrow's state of the union is the subject of tonight's "closing argument" but first here's jimmy kimmelmy: tonight, cory monteith from "glee." joan rivers is here and music from the script and who is oprah's secret half sister? "jimmy kimmel live" is next. this is a strawberry pop-tart. and this is the warm fresh baked taste... of a strawberry toaster strudel. see the difference? pillsbury toaster strudel. the one kids want to eat. than listening there'to our...
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but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: tonight, from "the fighter," amy, music from young the giant, and "this week in unnecessary censorship." come in, enjoy. "jimmy kimmel live" is next.c [ male announcer ] nature is unique... pure... and also delicious. like nature valley. granola bars made with crunchy oats and pure honey. nature valley -- 100% natural. 100% delicious. you can make a big difference. did you know that by march 1st,
but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: tonight, from "the fighter," amy, music from young the giant, and "this week in unnecessary censorship." come in, enjoy. "jimmy kimmel live" is next.c [ male announcer ] nature is unique... pure... and also delicious. like nature valley. granola bars made with crunchy oats and pure honey. nature valley -- 100% natural. 100% delicious. you can make a big difference. did you know that by march...
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Jan 15, 2011
01/11
by
KGO
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eye 286
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first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: tonight, simoner, snooki from "jersey shore", music from lloyd banks. and two people picked the winning numbers for the mega-millions jackpot. tonight,igigigigigigigigigigigi@ dinner's ready! it's french's crunchy onion chicken! (announcer) for a quick and easy dinner crush french fried onions. dip chicken in egg. coat with onion crumbs and bake. when dinner's made with french's french fried onions, everyone's happy. french's. happy starts here. look for it in the canned vegetable aisle. caw caw!
first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next on "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: tonight, simoner, snooki from "jersey shore", music from lloyd banks. and two people picked the winning numbers for the mega-millions jackpot. tonight,igigigigigigigigigigigi@ dinner's ready! it's french's crunchy onion chicken! (announcer) for a quick and easy dinner crush french fried onions. dip chicken in egg. coat with onion crumbs and bake. when dinner's made with french's...
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Jan 19, 2011
01/11
by
KGO
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eye 258
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but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up on "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: tonight, randyence and with the money you invest in clothes, why risk they'll end up faded or stretched ? try woolite. woolite isn't just for your delicates. it's for all your clothes. with woolite complete you can wash everything because it has the right balance of cleaning and care. and say goodbye to fading, shrinking and stretching. woolite complete keeps all your clothes looking like new, longer. visit woolite.us to print your high value woolite coupon. a man can only try... and try...and try. i heard eating wle grain oats can help lower my cholesterol. it's gonna be tough...so tough. my wife and i want to lowe our cholesterol, but finding healthy food that tastes good is torturous. your father is suffering. [ male announc ] honey nut cheerios tastes great and can help lower cholesterol.
but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up on "jimmy kimmel live." >> jimmy: tonight, randyence and with the money you invest in clothes, why risk they'll end up faded or stretched ? try woolite. woolite isn't just for your delicates. it's for all your clothes. with woolite complete you can wash everything because it has the right balance of cleaning and care. and say goodbye to fading, shrinking and stretching. woolite complete keeps all your clothes looking like new,...
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182
Jan 21, 2011
01/11
by
KGO
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eye 182
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but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?an gosling, kourtney kardashian, music from ra ra riot and something else that i can't remember right now. "jimmy kimmel live" is next. ñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxñxññññññññññññññññññññññññññññÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑwÑw er) for a quick and easy dinner crush french fried onions. dip chicken in egg. coat with onion crumbs and bake. when dinner's made with french's french fried onions everyone's happy. french's. happy starts here. look for it in the canned vegetable aisle. @@ ♪ ♪ leftover desserts, boardroom, now. and hurry before the interns get here. thanks but i already have some yummy black forest cake. black forest cake? ♪ ♪ so? [ female annou
but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?an gosling, kourtney kardashian, music from ra ra riot and something else that i can't remember right now. "jimmy kimmel live" is next....
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266
Jan 12, 2011
01/11
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KGO
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but first, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: tonight, channing tatum is with us. mamie gummer. and n
but first, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: tonight, channing tatum is with us. mamie gummer. and n
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210
Jan 14, 2011
01/11
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KGO
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but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: thanks cynthia., music from the damned things "this week in unnecessary censorship," and from "the green hornet," seethe rogen and3q looking to add a little smile to your chili ? try french's. mac and cheese need a boost ? french's helps that, too. chicken in need of cheering up? add french's to your marinade. it's a surprising way to add a little fun to your food and a whole lot of happy to your family. for recipes and valuable coupons, go to frenchs.com to add a little happy to almost any meal. french's. happy starts here. can i eat heart healthy without giving up taste? a man can only try... and try...and try. i heard eating wle grain oats can help lower my cholesterol. it's gonna be tough...so tough. my wife and i want to lowe our cholesterol, but finding healthy food that tastes good is torturous. your father is suffering. [ male announc ] honey nut cheerios tastes great and can help lower cholesterol. bee happy. bee healthy. 3q health matters to all of us. that's why lysol has started a mission
but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: thanks cynthia., music from the damned things "this week in unnecessary censorship," and from "the green hornet," seethe rogen and3q looking to add a little smile to your chili ? try french's. mac and cheese need a boost ? french's helps that, too. chicken in need of cheering up? add french's to your marinade. it's a surprising way to add a little fun to your food and a whole lot of happy to your...
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." >>> first here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?tonight's patricia heaton is here, brad womack and josh 3q experts from a leading consumer publication recently tested automatic dishwashing detergents. they rated finish quantum number one, beating the competition ! try finish quantum for amazing clean and shine. satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. a man can only try... and try...and try. i heard eating wle grain oats can help lower my cholesterol. it's gonna be tough...so tough. my wife and i want to lowe our cholesterol, but finding healthy food that tastes good is torturous. your father is suffering. [ male announc ] honey nut cheerios tastes great and can help lower cholesterol.
." >>> first here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. jimmy?tonight's patricia heaton is here, brad womack and josh 3q experts from a leading consumer publication recently tested automatic dishwashing detergents. they rated finish quantum number one, beating the competition ! try finish quantum for amazing clean and shine. satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. a man can only try... and try...and try. i heard eating wle grain oats can help lower my cholesterol. it's...
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but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: tonight, simon baker, with what's jimmy: tonight, simon baker, nicole "snooki" bÑbÑbÑbÑbÑbÑbÑb! >>> time now for tonight's closing argument. a decade
but first, here's jimmy kimmel with what's coming up next. >> jimmy: tonight, simon baker, with what's jimmy: tonight, simon baker, nicole "snooki" bÑbÑbÑbÑbÑbÑbÑb! >>> time now for tonight's closing argument. a decade
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Jan 11, 2011
01/11
by
KGO
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eye 236
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first, here's what's next on jimmy kimmel. >> tonight, scott foley is with us.e have music from far east movement. and cameron diaz. yes, the cameron diaz. a wipe is a wipe unless it's also a scrub. lysol complete clean dual action wipes have 2 sides that go beyond ordinary wipes. you can feel the difference. one side for everyday touchups. and one to scrub tough messes. all while killing 99.9% of germs. for tips on a healthy home visit lysol.com/missionforhealth. try french's. mac and cheese need a boost ? french's helps that, too. chicken in need of cheering up? add french's to your marinade. it's a surprising way to add a little fun to your food and a whole lot of happy to your family. for recipes and valuable coupons, go to frenchs.com to add a little happy to almost any meal. french's. happy starts here. shift your weigh left foot. take the right leg up, holding the inner arch of the foot... introducing instant action alerts, only from chase. left arm up... manage your account and help avoid overdrafts with a click of a button. just reply to the alert with
first, here's what's next on jimmy kimmel. >> tonight, scott foley is with us.e have music from far east movement. and cameron diaz. yes, the cameron diaz. a wipe is a wipe unless it's also a scrub. lysol complete clean dual action wipes have 2 sides that go beyond ordinary wipes. you can feel the difference. one side for everyday touchups. and one to scrub tough messes. all while killing 99.9% of germs. for tips on a healthy home visit lysol.com/missionforhealth. try french's. mac and...
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Jan 12, 2011
01/11
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KNTV
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but, for me -- >> jimmy: "lifetime," it's like -- "i got more -- i got more to do." >> i got more to do. i got kimmelhter ] there's a lot of shows i gotta do. >> jimmy: you got a lot of other stuff to do, yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but why it means so much to me is because i happen to have been working with and in the audience the night that jack lemmon got the "booth award," and i gave the "booth" award to jason robards, who is one of the great actors in this country -- >> jimmy: sure. >> -- who won an oscar for "all the president's men." so, the fact that i'm getting it -- it means a lot to me. >> jimmy: congratulations. that's fantastic, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] you -- here or london -- 'cause i know you've been in london for a long time, doing -- [ english accent ] the old vic. >> yes. i've been in london now -- this is coming into my eighth year. we're in the -- >> jimmy: isn't it an amazing thing that you've got -- i mean, of course -- it's an opportunity that you have to -- you're the artistic -- creative director or -- >> artistic director. >> jimmy: artistic director of the old vic? >>
but, for me -- >> jimmy: "lifetime," it's like -- "i got more -- i got more to do." >> i got more to do. i got kimmelhter ] there's a lot of shows i gotta do. >> jimmy: you got a lot of other stuff to do, yeah. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> but why it means so much to me is because i happen to have been working with and in the audience the night that jack lemmon got the "booth award," and i gave the "booth" award to jason robards, who is...