and now, all of a sudden, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] glad you have a lot of energy. i really do because i'm tired. i was up late last night. i watched david letterman's last show. did you watch letterman's last show last night? [ applause ] and then i sat up two hours thinking about it and e-mailing back and forth with cleto and then i had a dream about it. i had a dream i went to dave's house and i was supposed to stay over but somehow i broke a water pipe in his kitchen and it started flooding and his wife seemed upset with me and i went to a hotel. it must mean something. someone do a dream analysis and let me know what it means. it was a great show. my favorite part of the show, the old clips and stars and everything but especially liked when dave took time to introduce his son's friend, tommy roboto, a 10-year-old kid. >> you cried watching the show. you did. >> jimmy: did you cr

by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&nightline" is next but first, continuing our mash-up monday series with the song "roll with the changes," imagine reo speedragons! ♪ ♪ so if you're tired of the same old story come on come on come on oh, turn some pages i'll be here ♪ ♪ when you are ready to roll with the changes as soon as you are able woman i am willing ♪ ♪ to make the break that we are on the brink of my cup is on the table my love is spilling ♪ ♪ waiting here for you to take and drink of so if you're tired of the same old story ♪ ♪ oh, turn some pages i'll be here when you are ready to roll with the changes ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ ♪ i knew it had to happen felt the tables turnin' got me through my darkest hour ♪ ♪ i heard the thunder clappin' felt the desert burnin' until you poured on me ♪ ♪ like a sweet sun shower so if you're tired of the same old story oh, turn some pages ♪ ♪ i'll be here when you are ready to roll with the changes ♪ ♪ so if you're tired of the same old story oh, better turn some pages i'll be here ♪ ♪ when

and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ thank you for coming.hank you for kicking off your holiday weekend with me and my television friends, you know memorial day weekend is here. a day which we remember and give thanks to those who serve this country. according to aaa, a lot of people are traveling. if you are planning to go anywhere for memorial day, you are too late. you have had to left yesterday morning. so sorry. you know the big difference between memorial day now and memorial day when i was a kid is? kids don't get stuck in the third row of the station wagon anymore because everyone has an suv now. my parents -- now they are so careful with their grand kids. for us, back then, safety was not a concern. we'd be packed, not even the seats but the back of the car where the luggage goes like chickens in a third world country. my face would be pressed against the rear-view window. every inch was filled with cousins and siblings. my little brother, my parents would stuff him in the exhaust pipe all the way to disneyland. now kids are in seats

>>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- mariah carey, and from "san andreas", alexandra daddario, with cleto and the cletones, now, just relax, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] glad you are here. this is such an important night for this television network. earlier tonight on abc, night one of the special two-night season premier of "the bachelorette." i don't know if you have been following what's going on but they are doing a crazy thing this time around. this time around, there are two bachelorettes, 25 suitors and one secret case of herpes. britt and kaitlyn, who were fan favorites on "the bachelor" last season squared off tonight. they were forced to face off against each other. i assumed it would be awkward but didn't realize how awkward until i saw it for myself. this is how tony, who describes himself as a healer from st. louis, chose to greet both bachelorettes. >> hi. i'm tony. >> hi, tony. nice to meet you. >> i have b

and now, like jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: cinco de [ speaking in spanish ] >> jimmy: it's so freeing to be able to speak in my native tongue at long last. [ cheers and applause ] english only, i'd like to wish you a happy cinco de an entirely different thing. mexican independence day is the one on september 16th. this is the one celebrated by drunk white people here. [ cheers and applause ] we've got a whole audience full of drunk white people. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, correct me if i'm wrong, it actually commemorates the mexican army's victory over the french on may 5th, 1862. i was thinking about it today. hard to envision the french and mexican people fighting each other now, isn't it? i don't see that ever happening again. have you been celebrating? >> of course, jimmy, yeah. >> jimmy: i ask because you're standing upright. usually by this time -- >> it's okay. >> jimmy: do you have a designated person to carry you home tonight? >> yeah, my assistant. >> jimmy: what's your assi

i said, how did it go with jimmy kimmel, went good, went good.lie says what were the mean tweet. she forced him to do the mean tweets to us. >> jimmy: okay. >> this is him doing mean tweets to me and leslie. >> jimmy: he is thinking about what they were. >> we are forcing him to perform for us. there is one crazy mary said next time you go on a golf vacation, don't come back. then i wanted to get a picture of us laughing. i know if we are laughing in the photo it looks like we are friends. so this is a picture of us reacting. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know if it looks like you are friends. >> nobody has ever had their ass kissed harder than that right. there afterwards the president says, well, what have you been doing lately and he says leslie, what have you been doing and he said i'm in a movie about how to be single and in it i make out with a 25-year-old. which is a weird thing to say to the president. it is kind of an insult to me on one level. >> jimmy: two strikes is what it is. he probably loved that. >> he was very charmi

. ♪ >>> from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"!onight -- elizabeth banks, marc maron, and music from earl sweatshirt featuring badbadnotgood. with cleto and the cletones! and now for the most part here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you. hi, everybody. thank you. thank you, cleto. hi. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching and for coming to the building. that's very nice. i'm glad you still care because i'll tell you something, you know, we started doing this show in 2003, january of 2003. and at that time there was a talent show, a very -- to be honest -- dumb-sounding talent show that was getting started called "american idol" that went on to become probably the biggest hit in television history. it's a show that gave us ryan seacrest, simon cowell, carrie underwood, kelly clarkson. maybe biggest of all, lee dewise came out of "american idol." so anyway, tonight was the season finale of idol. next season is going to be its last season. fox announced this week they're doing o

she said isn't that jimmy kimmel? i said oh, my god, it s. t little band run dmc. >> jimmy: that's what everyone thought. not what i was going for but what everyone thought. >> my observation was and i brought it up on the radio with you you are there in the back ground and all of a sudden you start to bob and weave, bounce a little bit. why? >> jimmy: i thought we were going to all bounce. remember the band crisscross? >> right. >> jimmy: manny was doing this, i thought i better start doing it. soy started to bounce. >> he is looking around like, just bounce a little bit right here. >> jimmy: i didn't want to slog up there. i was in the ring which was not on television. >> we didn't know you were in the ring. i didn't realize that. >> jimmy: i was in the ring. they brought me in the ring and i'm like what am i doing in the ring. i need to get out of the ring. i got out of the ring and they are like no, get up in the ring. >> what was your role in the ring? >> jimmy: i had no role in the ring. then i started to think what if this is a trick on

jimmy kimmel amy is there. jimmy kimmel amy is there. >> enjoy the show see you ♪ >>> from hollywood! it's "jimmy kimmel live"! amy schumer, chris "ludacris" bridges, kerry washington, david beckham, and music from jose gonzalez with cleto and the cletones. now, once again, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i followed the sound of clapping and here you are. so earlier tonight here on abc we had the season finale of "scandal." i know you in our studio audience haven't seen it so i won't give anything away. suffice to it say, olivia and associates have some serious hr issues to deal with and father's day this year will be no fun for the folks at all. that's all i'll say. i know you haven't seen it. a crazy episode. much of the plot revolve around the white house and the president of the united states. not only is he a character on the show, his job title gets mentioned a lot. with that we give you every mention of the pr

>> it is the way it goes at the jimmy kimmel show. >> jimmy: does it go like this. >> you can look at this is not from the rorschach test. it would be inappropriate to show one of the items from the real test. so this is an inkblot test. tell me what you see. >> jimmy: i will tell you what i see. it looks to me like one of the "space invaders" villains, come to life. like he's attacking you in kind of a cute way. >> and where do you see that? >> jimmy: i see the eyes here. there are the eyes and there's his horns and his arm -- he is missing an arm and there's his tail, little tail and feet right there. >> so his tail is growing out of the side of his body is what you are telling me. >> jimmy: he's turned. he's like this. >> all right. now, this is very important. >> jimmy: okay. >> are the eyes looking at you? >> jimmy: no. they are looking at you. >> are the eyes threatening or friendly? >> jimmy: they seem threatening. >> are they threatening me or you? >> jimmy: both of us probably. >> do you have any explanation for the holes below the eyes? >> i think of those as little paws in

and now, for sure, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >>> thank you! >> jimmy: i'm the host of the show. thanks to all of you for coming. i will say this. we have quite a show for you tonight. the incredible george clooney will be with us. the sexiest man in the world is here and he's going to interview george clooney tonight. george is here. thank you. george is here to promote his new movie "tomorrowland" in which he plays a man who waits three hours in line to get on space mountain. george was the first guest on our first show. also here tonight, as seen on television earlier this evening, britt nilsson is back stage. for those of you who don't follow the show, they aired part two of the season premier of the "bachelorette." the guys in the house had to vote for one of them and that one got to stay. this is how chris harrison gave britt the bad news tonight. >> i counted the votes. >> okay. >> a majority of the men have chosen one woman who they can hopefully see a future with. britt, unfortunately, you're not going to be the bachelorette. sorry. >>

"jimmy kimmel live" at 11:35 after "action news" here's jimmy with a preview of tonight's show. >> thanksjim hello philadelphia, here's a snippet of what we're up to tonight. >> i was riding through outer face with scott folly. we were not open rocket ships. we were >> aberdeen dad vail regatta take over tomorrow and largest collegiate rowing event in united states. it means detours for drivers. parts of kelly drive are now closed until saturday 6 p.m. traffic is detoured through fairmont park. eagles first round draft choice nelson agalar now in the nest. >> can i not wait until he gets on the field and see what the coaches think about his progress on the field. they have to get all the rookies signed six draft picks and four signed to the team. latest being top pick nelson agalar has a four year deal with nearly $9.5 million. eagles begin a three day rookie mini camp tomorrow. >> it's been a day since we learned about lesean mccoy's comments about chip kelly. in case you missed it lesean mccoy said he got rid of the plaque players the fastest. he pointed to deshawn jackson as example. j

kim kardashian is on jimmy kimmel. kardashian is on jimmy kimmel. >> enjoy see you >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, kim kardashian west, michael sheen. this week in unnecessary censorship and music from yelawolf featuring travis barker. with cleto and the cletones. and now, be seated, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i'm glad you are here. we have a big show tonight with michael sheen, yelawolf and kim kardashian-west is here. this has been a weird week for kim kardashian. for the first time in her life she is the second most newsworthy woman in her family. kim is here because -- kim's here because she has a new book out. that's right, a book. this is it. it is called "selfish." it is 400 pages of pictures she took of herself. you know how you can't judge a book by its over? this one you can. this is a good thing to have around in case instagram goes dow

[laughter] leon: jimmy kimmel live is next.nday. >> dickey: from hollywood it's “jimmy kimmel live”! tonight, paul giamatti “science bob” pflugfelder and this week in unnecessary censorship with cleto and the cletones. and now, for the most part here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

unnecessary censorship, and music from brandon flowers, with cleto and the cletones, and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you for coming. thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thanks to all of you for coming. very nice. i appreciate it. so yesterday the big story, at least in the world of sport s was this deflategate, as they call it. i'm sure you know about this. this is the nfl, released the findings of their investigation yesterday in to the under-inflated footballs the patriots used in the afc championship game and found it was more probable than not that patriots employees deflated the balls on purpose and also that quarterback tom brady was at least generally aware that it was happening, which is something he denied. of course the response to this has been divided. some people believe the patriots are cheaters, who should be fined, penalized and possibly meant to forfeit the games and other people are from boston. [ cheers and applause ] the owner of th

sweatshirt featuring badbadnotgood, with cleto and the cletones, and now, for the most part here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. thank you.

jimmy kimmel live is next.m on the golf course, give them a couple strokes, he needs it. tim: i challenged him. leon: one more to jan ♪ dicky: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live”! tonight -- ryan seacrest. from “pitch perfect 2”, brittany snow. and mash up monday with imagine reo speedragons. with cleto and the cletones. and now, all of a sudden, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice.

and now, no need to worry, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi. you? hi, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for

leon: jimmy kimmel live is next. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"ight, kim kardashian west, michael sheen. this week in unnecessary nsorship and music from yelawolf featuring travis barker. with cleto and the cletones. and now, be seated here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

and from "the middle", patricia heaton with cleto and the cletones and now, by the way, here's jimmy kimmel

[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by shinola. ght, two bachelorettes went into the pit. kaitlyn came out and britt came here. here now to tell us all about the shortest run in bachelorette history. please welcome, britt nilsson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: for someone who just had her heart broken in 25 pieces, you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: very good to see you. why did you do this again? what was going through your head when you agreed to do this for a second time? >> i'm just totally nuts. i don't know. honestly, yeah, last time was hard. and i just felt like i was supposed to do it. there was something inside of me that was always a yes. and last time was hard and this was going to be a weirder situation than normal. and all of the things from the outside would make one thing -- stay away. >> jimmy: you were starting to fall in love with those 25 guys. >> every single one of them. honestly, i mean last season i was starting to fall in love. >> jimmy: you never would have moved to that farm. there's no way.

"jimmy kimmel live," tim mcgraw >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- tim mcgraw and from "the middle", patricia heaton with cleto and the cletones and now, by the way, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i am very grateful. we have so more important things to get to tonight. first, i want to talk about something that might be the most important movement we will ever be a part of. this is something we launched last night. it's big. i call it the finger of shame. i had a high school teacher -- who is the high school teacher that did that to us? you remember? used to point at us when we would misbehave. he would point a finger that he called the finger of shame. we would stop. now that i'm an adult, kind of, i'm ready to start fingering people myself. i would like you to join me. there's so much rude behavior so much inconsiderate behavior that goes on everywhere. all day we see it. i thought it might help people if we became more aware of this. last night, i

and now, settle down, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. i'm glad you are here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. i had -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: please, turn the applause sign off. thank you. i had an interesting night last night. i went to don rickles birthday party last night. his 89th birthday. his actual birthday is on friday but they had the party at a restaurant last night. when you are 89, you don't wait until friday. you get it done on tuesday. it is also cheaper to rent out a restaurant on tuesday. it was quite an event. all of don's friends were there, bob newhart, norm crosby, tommy lasorda. the youngest man there was larry king. they kept rubbing him on the head. don roasted everybody. he sat at his table and roasted about 100 people, pretty much all of his family and friends. he sat there and mowed through everyone. it was hilarious. it was unbelievable. it was a fun night. i got don a fun gift -- i should say my

and now, be seated, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

. >> on "jimmy kimmel live," george clooney. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's “jimmy kimmel live”! and the cletones. and now for sure here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ]

now on "jimmy kimmel live" julie >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!"t 2", adam devine. and music from imagine dragons. with cleto and the cletones. and now, like always here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

and now, might i add, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. thanks to all of you for coming. very nice. i'm curious because i know a lot of people here on vacation and what not. how many of you watched diane sawyer's interview with bruce jenner on friday night. [ applause ] i did too. i watched it live and the next morning to soak it up. i think he came off very well. he went from being a boring man to a very charming woman. right? i think we might have found our next bachelorette. the interview got huge ratings. 17 million people tuned in to watch and it did not disappointment. i have to say the most shocking part of the interviewer for me is when bruce told diane there was only one full-length mirror in the kardashian house. i find that impossible to believe. bruce also said that so far kim has been the most accepting of the kardashians and the easiest to talk to. he said kim credited kanye west, her husband, with helping to understand how important i

and now, be seated here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

kim kardashian is on jimmy kimmel. >> enjoy see you >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel liven west, michael sheen. this week in unnecessary censorship and music from yelawolf featuring travis barker. with cleto and the cletones. and now, be seated here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪

i'm ducis rogers, thanks for watching, good nights "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight dr. phil mcgraw manny pacquiao and music from chet faker with cleto and the cletones. and now, no need to worry, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi. how are you? hi, everybody.

and now, all of a sudden, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you.

"jimmy kimmel live" next on channel 6 followed by "nightline". y's guest paul jimati and science bone fullfelder. for "action news" i'm jim gardner, good night, have a great weekend. "action news" continues at >> dickey: from hollywood it's “jimmy kimmel live”! tonight, paul giamatti “science bob” pflugfelder and this week in unnecessary censorship with cleto and the cletones. and now, for the most part here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

. >> "jimmy kimmel live" next on channel 6 followed by "nightline".ie mandel, ray leitt and and zed. >> "action news" continues at 4:30 with matt o'donnell meteorologist david murphy and karen rogers with traffic for cecily tynan, ducis rogers and entire "action news" team, i'm jim gardner, good night "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- howie mandel. ray liotta. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from zedd. with cleto and the cletones. and now, all of a sudden, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [

and from "san andreas", alexandra daddario, with cleto and the cletones, now, just relax, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. thank you fo