and now, may the force be with him, here's jimmy kimmel! and now, here's jimmy kimmel!

- it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- seth rogen. eric stonestreet. jake owen. the world series champion kansas city royals. "mean tweets - country music edition." via hologram. with cleto and the cletones. and now, right now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. welcome. i'm jimmy kimmel. thanks for coming. very nice of you. i appreciate it. i'll tell you something. you're here on an unusual night, a night on which miracles of physics will be revealed. tonight we are simultaneously doing our show from two places. i will be beamed from this theater here in hollywood to the cma theater in nashville, tennessee, as a hologram. haunted mansion at disneyland. i will appear -- we did this last year and it's incredible that it works. let's do it, let's go live to nashville where we've got a lot of people standing by. [ cheers and applause ] hello, nashville! say hi to hollywood! thank you, thank you. are you ready for the magic of holography? [ cheers and applause ] let's do it.

. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- mark ruffalo, from "fresh off the boat" constance wu, and it's mashup monday with music from color me bradd. with cleto and the cletones. and new now, mark my words, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for coming. i will say that we have a big night of candy and craying in store for you tonight. it's very good to have you here. any of you show up an hour early because of daylight savings time? yesterday. this is the good one where it goes an hour back, not the terrible nightmare one that ruins our lives. i've found that i spend that extra hour trying to figure out how to reset the time on the microwave and my alarm clock by the bed, the clock in my car. what is it with the clock in the car? why does my car know how to get to san diego but doesn't know what time it is? shouldn't that be automatic? and now it's going to be dark by lunch time. why do we go along with this every year? daylight saving is o

>> you're [ bleep ] and jimmy kimmel is an [ bleep ], too. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jack and mitch, everybody. i love that the giant mitch is looking for tiny little jack for help. by the way, i do want to say, seriously, i love what you guys have done with your apartment. it's really -- jack and mitch, everybody. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from jason aldean. dave bautista is her and we'll be right back with sharon stone. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the next generation of pcs. watch tomorrow night to see all the powerful things the pc can do. pc does whaaat?! (music begins. the song, danger zone by kenny loggins plays from t the pc) pc does what?! hey, guy! pc does what?! shhhh pc does what no pc has done before. >> jimmy: tonight, from the new james bond movie "spectre," dave bautista is here. then, this is his album. it's called "old boots new dirt." jason aldean from the crown royal ststage in nhville, tennessee. tomorrow night, after the country sic awards, we are simulcasting via hologram from hollywo

>> you're [ bleep ] and jimmy kimmel is an [ bleep ], too. [ applause ] >> jimmy: jack and mitch, everybodygiant mitch is looking for tiny little jack for help. by the way, i do want to say, seriously, i love what you guys have done with your apartment. it's really -- jack and mitch, everybody. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show we have music from jason aldean. dave bautista is here. and we'll be right back with sharon stone. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the next generation of pcs. watch tomorrow night to see all the powerful things the pc can do. pc does whaaat?! ♪ (music begins. the song, danger zone by kenny loggins plays from the pc) ♪ pc does what?! ♪ hey, guy! pc does what?! shhhh pc does what no pc has done before. does yours? on his legendary quest jack went looking for a man. known simply as...the onion whisperer. the onion said... "you must prepare me three ways... " "...then put it all on a burger..." "...and make a commercial about it." and that's the legend of the cheddar onion buttery jack. crispy, grilled and

and now and furthermore, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ applause ]

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, sharon stone. from "spectre," dave bautista. and from music, jason aldean in nashville, with "cleto and the cletones." and now and furthermore, here's [ applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. thank you. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. it's a great time. i don't mean -- i'm not looking for more applause but by a round of applause i want to know how many of you voted today. how many didn't even know there was an election today? [ applause ] and this is before we have legal marijuana in every state. today was election today in america. the polls are closed, so it's too late. the votes have been counted. the american people have spoken. i guess they said, sorry, but we only vote for president. see you next year. it wasn't a big election, but they're all important. it's important to vote if for no other reason but to make the old couple down the block who cleaned out their garage who voted to feel good about themselves. next election day is a big one. cord to a new national poll. dr

leon: jimmy kimmel live is next. 50's for the weekend. leon: jimmy kimmel live is next.ghty or nice?k calm or bright?d. but at bedtime... why settle for this? enter sleep number. don't miss the semi-annual sale going on now! sleepiq technology tells you how you slept and what adjustments you can make. she likes the bed soft. he's more hardcore. so your sleep goes from good, to great, to wow gift the best sleep. only at a sleep number store. save $500 on the veteran's day special edition mattress with sleepiq technology, plus 36-month special financing. hurry, ends wednesday! know better sleep with sleep number. it's the holidays. which means a house full of people -- who all want to get ont ne. so it's the perfect time for verizon fios. it has the fastest internet and wifi available. withedpeeds from 50 to 500 megs. and right now, you'll get 50 meg fios internet, tv and phone for 79.99 a month online for your first year. and with a 2 year agreement, we'll give you all the premium movie channels for a year. plus, 400 dollars back. so go online or call now. get out of the

and no, now, till the end of the program, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone.

"jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, joseph gordon-levitt. amber heard. and music from albert hammond jr. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. welcome to our show. welcome to hollywood. does it feel like the holiday season to you now? it does? christmas is five weeks away. are any of you done with your christmas shopping or holiday shopping yet? [ no ] >> jimmy: no one identifies themselves if they have because they know we'd kill them if they did. seems like christmas comes earlier every year, even though it doesn't, it always comes on the 25th, the day after christmas eve. the stores keep stretching the season. a lot of commotion a couple of years ago when big stores started having their black friday sales on thursday. thursday as you know used to be known as thanksgiving day. now radio shack, radio shack announced yesterday that they're moving their black friday deals to

"jimmy kimmel live"!ight -- melissa mccarthy, lie witness news. and one direction on hollywood boulevard. with cleto and the cletones. and now, for clarification, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

and now, having said all that, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. you're embarrassing me. hi, i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for -- wow, you guys are excited tonight. thanks for tgit'ing with us tonight. i'll tell you something. we had an extra-big night on abc tonight. our usual shondaland lineup joined the force with star wars, a new "star wars: the force awakens" commercial aired tonight on abc. which might be the first time people sped through the show to get to the commercial. you might be asking yourself, why would they debut new "star wars" footage in the middle of an abc block targeted primarily at women? the reason is, it's interesting. their plan is to target both the key demographics of women ages 18 to 49, and men who have never had sex with a woman between the ages 18 and 49, simultaneously, and they've done it. in case you missed it, and i pray that you didn't -- this is tonight's abc "star wars" exclusive. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: glad they got away from the cgi. what happens in the new movi

and now, in person, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. i'm jimmy kimmel, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. blustery night here in l.a. it was windy today. the power went out at my house this morning. of course it was while i was in the shower. so the water -- the power went out and then like, i don't know, 12 seconds later the water was not -- all of a sudden not just cold but it was very cold. and i was all lathered up. soap all over my body. i don't like to miss a spot. you know that moment when you realize, the water's cold and it's only getting colder -- but i have to rinse off, there's no two ways about it. then you're like james franco in that movie "127 hours" where he's like, i got to cut this arm off now! you do it and you're ripsing, sloshing. then i remembered i still had conditioner in my hair and beard and i had to do it all over again. that's how i woke up today. i bet oprah never goes through that. i bet oprah's hot water is never turned off. i had another realization of equal unimporta

- it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- ty burrell. lake bell. jimmy pitches to "shark tank." and it's mash-up monday. with music from joss stone temple pilots. with cleto and the cletones. and now, for good measure, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, there. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. i to those visiting welcome to hollywood. did any of you see the weird light in the sky on saturday night here? saturday night around 6:00, a big story here, what appeared to be a spacecraft of some kind was spotted streaking across the night sky. some people looked up from their phones to see it, that was amazing. >> what is that? what the hell is that? >> okay, this is weird. what the hell is that? >> this is videotaping it. is that too cool? >> oh my god, what is that? >> oh my god, you guys. >> this is weird, guys. >> this is what much of the southland looked up to saturday night. a mysterious bright light that moved slowly over the pacific. >> then it floated around and got higher and higher a

live." >>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- mark ruffalo, from "fresh off the boat" constance wu, and it's mashup monday with music from color me bradd. with cleto and the cletones. and new now, mark my words, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪

my name is jimmy kimmel. >> oh my lord. >> jimmy: i'm from kimmel laboratories as you probably know. you may remember me from last season where i presented you with a revolutionary new idea. horse pants. they're comfortable, fashion inability, business casual. appropriate for the track or the barn. as you may recall, robert offered me $5 million for a 10% stake in horse pants and i accepted. but when i asked him for the money up front in cash in a big bag, robert backed out. >> shameful. >> jimmy: well this year i am back with an even better idea. and i am excited to present my latest revolutionary new concept. to everyone except for robert. sharks, let me tell you a story. one day i was walking with my daughter down the street. and i stopped to look at a youtube video of a baby pig wearing boots. while i was looking at this hilarious video, my daughter ran off into the street. luckily no cars were coming. but i learned a valuable lesson that day. idea. and i turned that idea into an industry. fasten your shark belts because i present to you -- the kid cone. >> jimmy: a full-sized tr

good night. ♪ >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel liveight -- mark ruffalo, from "fresh off the boat" constance wu, and it's mashup monday with music from color me bradd. with cleto and the cletones. and new now, mark my words, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [

discover something you. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy issa mccarthy -- "lie witness news" -- and one direction on hollywood boulevard. with cleto and the cletones. and now, for clarification, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm ji

"jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- ty burrell. lake bell. jimmy pitches to "shark tank." and it's mash-up monday. with music from joss stone temple pilots. with cleto and the cletones. can you imagine? people are getting upset about this? starbucks isn't celebrating jesus' birthday. what makes people think jesus wants to be on a starbucks cup? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm going to tell you something. jesus does not, he wants no part of this. does not want to be part of this. to me the outrage is they start october. can we please get through pumpkin latte season first? what a thing to be offended at. if you have time to actively protest the color and design of the starbucks holiday cup? anything else. literally. anything else. go sit in the middle of a cul-de-sac and play candy crush or something. at least you'll be exercising your thumbs. the race for the republican nominee for president got more interesting over the weekend. donald trump hosted "saturday night live." since the debate dr. ben cars

"jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, jay z, tracy morgan, and music with usher, nas, and jay z from the barclays center, brought to you by scion and cigna, with cleto and the cletones. and now, not for nothing, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"ight, liam hemsworth. from "black-ish," tracee ellis ross. and james bond. and it's mashup monday with music from jewel and the gang. with with cleto and the cletones. now in person, here's jimmy kimmel!

." >> dicky: from hollywood - it's "jimmy kimmel live"!nkirk & david cross. with cleto and the cletones. and, now, till the end of the program, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"ight, liam hemsworth. from "black-ish," tracee ellis ross. and james bond. and it's mashup monday with music from jewel and the gang. with with cleto and the cletones. now in person, here's jimmy kimmel!

. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- liam hemsworth. from "black-ish" tracee ellis ross. and "james bond." plus, it's mash-up monday with music from jewel & the gang. with cleto and the cletones. and now, in person, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. i'm jimmy kimmel, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. blustery night here in l.a. it was windy today. the power went out at my house this morning. of course it was while i was in the shower. so the water -- the power went out and then like, i don't know, 12 seconds later the water was not -- all of a sudden not just cold but it was very cold. and i was all lathered up. soap all over my body. i don't like to miss a spot. you know that moment when you realize, the water's cold and

leon: jimmy kimmel live is next. alison: have a great night. >>> and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight julia roberts. the kids from "black-ish." "this week in unnecessary censorship." and muc from future. with cleto and the cletones. and now, having said all that, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪