couple things i might mention, there are people who write a lot about marriage, one of them is john gottman, he did a lot of research at the university of washington, seattle, they can predict with 92% accuracy which couples will stay together or not, just observing their interactions for 10 minutes . after all this work they have done in their lab, they can watch for 10 minutes, and he talks about the four horsemen of the marriage, criticism, contempt, defensiveness and he talks about how to overcome them. >> i think you and i have learned just by watching the couple at the next table at the restaurant, we can sometimes predict. >> gary is another author, he has been doing this for years, this book that i often give to couples, i gave it to my nephew two weeks ago, but he has been doing christian marriage for years, he does preparation but also ongoing formation, so both have websites, one is the gottman institute and the other one is the smalley institute. >> someone like you could point out to people, here is the way to go, here are the books to get. >> so if you like to read, here is $1