this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! ers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, yo! what's up! what's up! welcome to "the daily show." leguizamo here in the house! [cheers and applause] it's my third night behind the desk and i've been getting some great feedback so far. i mean, mostly from my mom. so i asked her what she thought of the show last night and she was like, "i'm sorry, i fell asleep after "wheel of fortune. but i'm sure you are great, m mijo." we've got a great show tonight, so let's get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] let's kick things off with some sports. the nfl has announced that it will allow its players to put the number zero on their jerseys next season for the first time ever. meanwhile, the jets announced that they'll put zero on the scoreboard for the 40th season in a row. hey! hey! [applause] seriously, i think this is a great way for football players to celebrate the amount of brain cells they'll have left when they retire. i know, that's so [bleep] up. but it's true!

this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, what's up! welcome to "the daily show." i'm john leguizamo. and i'm back for night two as your as your first latino "daily show" host ever. [cheers and applause] yeah, that's right, if you change the channel now, you're a racist, bitch. but we've got a great show for you tonight. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right. lutz kick things off with donald trump, the former president of the united states and future president of cellblock d. [cheers and applause] yesterday, trump sat down for an interview on fox news with sean man-titties. that's his real name. it sounds like ron desantis. >> ron came to see me, tears in his eyes. he said, "i need you to do me a big favor." "would you endorse me? i fought for you." so, i said: "let's give it a shot, ron, okay?" and he was desperate. i said, okay. i gave him a nice endorsement. i got him the nomination. by the way, could have never gotten the nomination. he

this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! plause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: yo, yo, what's up! welcome to "the daily show." i'm john leguizamo. and, yo, it's my last day here, oh, yeah. it's been amazing man. i've just been having fun, goofin', speaking out on topics i care about. there's no amount of money that could match this feeling. but if you're feeling generous... [shakes jar] and i also take venmo. all right, we've got a great show for you tonight. so let's get into the headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right, we've had such a heavy week of news, so i thought we would wrap up some things this week with some lighthearted news that is really going to put a smile on your face. >> we are interrupting this package right now because we have some breaking news and it is historic news out of lower manhattan right now, a federal jury, a grand jury has voted to indict former president trump, the first time ever a former president has been criminally charged. [cheers and applause] >> john: yeah! whoo! that's right

this is "the daily show" with your host, john leguizamo! ers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> john: whatsapp! welcome to the daily show!" i'm john leguizamo, and as a new yorker and a big fan of this show, hosting this week to help kick to be hosting during hispanic heritage month! [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] that was not hispanic heritage month here for that is in september. that is a test, yell! oh, my gosh, i have a lot to teach you this week. we've got a great show for you all tonight so let's get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ okay. let's kick things off with donald trump. [boos] that's right. the man so bad at sex, he pays people not to talk about it. yep. we're still all waiting for the cops to arrest him for lying about his affair with a porn star, but until then, he's continuing his presidential campaign, and staying focused on the important issues: like lying about his affair with a porn star. >> former president trump used his first official campaign rally in waco, texas, to denounce the le

[cheers and applause] john leguizamo! check out the al franken podcast.g with these folks all week. they've just been great! [applause] i'm just sorry trump wasn't indicted. [laughter] now here it is coming your moment of zen. >> the oreo is such a delicious cookie. >> i like mine with coffee. musical physical >> it taste like an it tastes like an oreo! rip digman: mount quiquaran. one of history's most lethal supervolcanos. in 200 bc, a series of deadly eruptions had decimated the local tribe. so the elders turned to the great artisan tiliktakorkatan, who sculpted an offering to the gods... the molten idol. -it's beautiful. -and yet... not so beautiful as you, love of my life, keeper and tender-to of my loins.

. >>> coming up on "cbs mornings," emmy and tony award-winning actor john leguizamo joins us in the timesguest hosting "the daily show" this week. >>> i'm anne-marie green. this is the "cbs morning news." when you stay at a vrbo you always get the whole home not part of it but the whole upstairs the whole downstairs the whole fridge and the whole secret nap room because is it really a vacation home if you have to share a house with a host? ♪ only with vrbo and it's easier than ever to get your projects done right. with angi, you can connect with and see ratings and reviews. and when you book and pay throug you're covered by our happiness check out angi.com today. angi... and done. lactaid is 100% real milk, just without the lactose. tastes great in our iced coffees too. which makes waking up at 5 a.m. to milk the cows a little easier. (moo) mabel says for you, it's more like 5:15. this van just hit me out of nowhere. i thought i was dead. after the accident, i was in a lot of pain and i decided that i needed to get an attorney because i could not work. i called jacoby & meyers they had th

[cheers and applause] john leguizamo! check out the al franken podcast.'t tell you how great it's been working with these folks all week. they've just been great! [applause] i'm just sorry trump wasn't indicted. [laughter] now here it is coming your moment of zen. >> the oreo is such a delicious cookie. >> i like mine with coffee. musical physical >> it taste like an it tastes like an oreo! - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪