they is not only-- [bleep]. >> jon: what? >> what are you doing! >> jon: i'm sorry.hter) i'm sorry, i just-- there must be some benefit to the volatility on wall street, you know, for them. >> there is this. >> one are they saying. >> oh, they love the volatility. don't get that wrong. obviously for the average investor as home, we sweat all those big swings but the traders they come every day trying to make money and they make machine the more volatility there is. >> jon: oh so, up or down win or lose, they still win. those people are animals! >> you are-- overreacting to this situation. >> jon: hmmmm. (laughter) >> i told you-- . >> jon: we'll be right back. we'll see you in a little okay, people, let's get started. pete, did you forget yours? me pete, me use pen! (laughter) sorry i'm late, i was in the 16th century looking for pete's pen. (laughter) guys, guys. take it easy, ok? pete's mom is videochatting me, and she wants her pen back! ok, alright, well. i just got one. so... yeah, you've got a little... yep, i can feel the wet patch. don't look at it. when it's

stewart captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, judge andrew napolitano will be joining us. a fine man, we're excited to have him on the program. but we begin tonight in the field of presidential politics have. you been following the gop presidential race you know that hit ens romney has been-- mittens romney has been the uncontested front-runner for everyone's second choice. (laughter) >> jon: for the republican nomination. he's the subject of tonight's installment of indecision 2012, scared mittless. (laughter) when polling began a year ago, polling began a year ago for the republican presidential race mitt romney was polling in the low -- and was in second place. and since then so much has changed. >> minnesota congresswoman michele bachmann surging ahead of the 2012 field. >> huckabee leads 19% a romney is trailing, with 18%. >> gallup has perry leading with 29%, mitt romney now second with 17%. >> then governor christie tied for first place with the former massachusetts governor mitt romney. >> in the lates

[cheering and applause] >> jon: wow. that's interesting. >> jon, they're both right, jon. racism isn't as bad as it used to be, but without racism, cornel west is just a guy with an out-of-control afro wearing a wool scarf in the summertime. >> jon: how do you say racism isn't a big deal. disproportionately it's people of color. >> i don't understand your point. >> jon: isn't it somewhat racist that crack cocaine sentencing is harsher, prison terms longer for powder cocaine. >> that's your proof of racism, that people smoking crack are sitting in prison longer than people smoking coke. 50 years ago little black girls were blown up in a church. that was racist. i don't recall dr. king dreaming of the day crack heads and coke heads would be together singing "free at last, free at last." >> jon: so you agree with herman cain that racism cannot stop black americans? >> well, tragically, it still might be able to because ironically this black man might be blocked from the presidency because he won't admit to black people that his blackness blocks him from the presidency. that's

>> jon: what?> see, you don't even know what the $16 muffin is. >> jon: what neighborhood do you live in? what makes a $16 muffin? >> this is great. i'm glad. look... >> >> jon: all right. >> $16 muffin. brock this story last week on "the factor." you were otherwise occupied, making your little wise remarks. not reading what's happening. they had a bunch of conferences for pinheads, the federal government, and they ordered $250 muffins at $16 apiece. >> jon: that's a lot for muffins. >> yeah! and you know what, i paid for the muffins. >> jon: i understand that. >> and so did you. >> jon: i understand that. are you familiar with wall street? >> no. [laughter] >> jon: because there's this idea... >> is that run by the federal government? >> jon: no, it's not. >> not yet. >> jon: no, it's not, but interestingly enough, they had a little problem that added up to what i believe is more than, what's $16 times 250 muffins? so capitalism also finds itself going astray sometimes and wrecking our economy. if

. >> jon: samantha ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. you want to see darth vader in a bra and panties? hold on. welcome back. also when we were last on the air, the protest known as occupy wall street were in their infancy. let's check in on how they're doing now. >> wall street protest started here in new york last month have now spread to more than 60 other cities. >> the protests have stretched from new york and boston to seattle, los angeles. >> jon: new york, boston (breathless) they're like the hard rock cafe of leftist movements. hey, everybody. try the emma goldman burger. it's a revolution. that's not the only good news. >> the movement's website has collected nearly $300,000 in donations. >> jon: you have $300,000? all right. you better change the title of the protest. there you go. i'm kidding. i'm sure the money is, you know, is in no way going to go to their head. they got a butler. son of a bitch. sir, your hash, sir. perhaps the best sign of the movement... ( cheers and applause ) perhaps the best sign of the movement's g

october 27th,ewsadquarters in new york illey show jon >> show, my name is jon stewart. andrew napolitano will be join a fine man have him on the program. but we begin tonight in the field of presidential politics have. you been following theential race you know romney been-- mittens romney has been the uncontested front-runner for everyone's >> jon: for the republican nomination. he's the subject of tonight's installment of indecision 2012ittless. (laughter) when poll a year polling b ano a year ago for the republicanpresidential race mitt romney was polling in and since then so much has michele bachmann surging ahead of the 2012 field. romney is trailing with 18%.gallup has perry leading romney now christie tied for first place with the formerrnor mitt romney. >> in the lates republicans romney to rudy giuliani who is not even running. (laughter) >> jon: in fct is losing to ree animatedronald reagan. or reagan on brains. (laughter) but as front-runners have come romney remains. let's check in where he's at right now. later mitt romney sits at about 23% support. mitt ro

jon jon in robot boxing, it would be...ed off one of their heads, you'd be like, awesome. >> my six-year-old ava was watching it. she's like, yeah, noisy boy, take his head off. she was going for it. i know, it's good. >> jon: noisy boy? >> noisy boy. that's her favorite. she's a mosh pit ac/dc girl. my girl. i'm in serious trouble in ten years. >> jon: i've met the girl. you're in serious trouble now. are you trained in the art of... >> robot boxing? >> jon: boxing? you had to learn to box? >> yeah. well, there's one scene where i'm an ex-boxer in the film. there's one scene where you have to see i'm an ex-boxer. they gave us sugar ray leonard as a consultant. they said, hugh, sorry we didn't check with you, sugar ray is hired as a consultant. are you cool with that? i'm like, what? the best boxer in the history of boxing is my personal trainer. >> jon: pound for pound. >> i felt quietly confident. i had been training. he said, show us what you got. i showed him and he's like, really? he's like, man, we better get to work.

>> jon: this is embarrassing for america. >> jon i disagree. while america may have a legacy of intolerance it's also shown it has the capacity to learn from its mistakes and transform those ugly feelings into expressions of our highest ideals. >> jon: wow. that was beautiful, wyatt. it's so easy to get caught up in the shameful parts and overlook the beauty of the country. >> yeah it reminds me of that song, "america the beautiful. "the lost verses. sing along. ♪ oh, beautiful for rivers wide ♪ ♪ and strong like darkey creek ♪ ♪ for half-breed hill and dago's nose ♪ ♪ the snow upon chink's peak >> jon: don't do that, wyatt. >> ♪ america, america, god shed his grace on thee ♪ ♪ and keep the blacks across the tracks ♪ ♪ from sea to shining sea >> jon: wyatt cenac, everybody. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome back. remember our border? you know, the one with the crisis on it? it turns out out it has a whole new crisis, a crisis so bad we sent jason jones to mexico to try and fix it. >> mexicans, for years they've snuck across our borders to

my name is jon stewart.night, the great, the great, the legendary-- you can't say this about anybody else-- tony bennett is going to be joining us ( cheers and applause ) top story tonight, though, democracy! on the lurch. it's the news everybody's talking about. america's great ally and favorite romantic stroll partner, saudi arabia, is holding museuholding municipal s today. today. and the big news from the election, no, no, not the surprising strength of the jeddah city council elections. (laughter) i tried to say that right. it's this bombshell announcement. >> the seismic shift in saudi arabia, king adbullah announced women will now be allowed to vote and run for office. >> jon: yes! ( cheers and applause ) nothing says democracy like a royal decree. ( laughter ) but still today, thursday, september 29, saudi women, participating in municipal elections for the very first time. >> the king said that women could participate in future municipal elections. >> in the next municipal elections in 2015. >> jon:

>> jon: 9. >> i'm boxing these numbers, jon. oh, wait, i'm going to play it straight, no, i think i'll box them. >> jon: how do you box... forget about it. we're talking about the black vote here. what about white voters? are they going to vote a second black president in a row just because he's... >> jon, they'll vote for a second and a third. line them up, jon. i think white voters have finally learned what white women have known for a long time. (cheers and applause) >> jon: which is... >> once you go.... >> jon: black. >> hey, hey, no, jon, let me finish, god. once you go down the road to diversity it's impossible to change course and return to one's previous misconceptions. (laughter and applause) >> jon: i thought you were going to say... how is that a thing white women know? >> jon, i think because women struggled for their own rights. they know how satisfying it feels to take a massive.... >> jon: black? >> no, jon, stop! step forward, jon! >> jon: sorry about that. (cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome back to the show.

). >> big talent. >> jon: that's what it was. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: talent. they recognized your talent. they all like at each turn they're like they meet you and go, okay, sure, come work for me. every sickle guy. >> kermit had the conversation about college. should i go in and everything and he left it up to me and my mom and dad. we decided, you know, i would just go right into it. my daughter is in college now. >> jon: so when she was deciding whether or not to pursue her dream and not go to college and you said.... >> you better go. >> jon: that's what i figured. what is it now? you have elmo and you have your own daughter. was it hard not to use elmo at home on her? >> oh, what? yes,. yes, no, yes. what was really cool is, no, she really loved the character. there was no animosity or anything. but at three-and-a-half... what is going on? >> jon: trying to figure out why she would have animosity. >> but at three-and-a-half she said, elmo, daddy. we were very concerned about that. and then she went out of that phase. then it was like daddy, hey, can you p

ntral's world news headquarters in n jon stewart. ( cheers my name is jon stewart. we've got going.etter known as the voice of elmo and yes tickling him. so i spent the weekend watching a little footballball having some snacks. because you was occupying this i i'm a little it's been a boring news miss anything. >> rick perry. izarre... >> jon: one at a time. one at a time. >> texas governor rick perry issue over the certificate back in the headlines in an interview m perry he went quite sure if the president's birth certificate was legit. >> jon:il e on the cover of parade magazine offering thenation his nipple. "hey, america, hey are you hungry?" "are you hungry? do you want to "that's good suck on a good barbecue sauce."ed up the even donald trump dropped six perhaps none of us the president's real birth. this repts progress.e's only six months behind the national conversation. but his n-word family hunting ground was like 150 years time. normally perry goes birther no time. >> house majorityer eric peek at pen business. >> but his officeceled the appearance after

they. >> jon: i'm sorry. sorry i just-- thereme benefit to the volatility on wall streetyou know for them. >> there is this. >> one are they saying. >> oh, t volatilthat wrong. obviously f investor as home, we swehose big swings but theay trying to make money and they make machine the more volatility there is. >> jon: oh so up or down still those p animals! >> you are-- overreacting to >> jon: we'll be right back. >> jon: welcome to my guest tonight he is the senior judicial analyst for the fox news channel host of news network. called it is dangerous to be right when t program judge andrew solis en, it's nice to fi the book is it's dangerous to be right when the govern the ca freedom. so for you. >> yes. >> jon: you would like to see government the antithesis of liberty i mind >> yes to take we are born free. >> jon: and naked.aked. we have (laughter we have naturalue our negates those rights. some of those rights should be to kill and steal and harm. ear aht to say wh want andet invadistitution than enforci

is jon stewart.ve a good one for you tonight. oh, we got a one good one tonight. also richard brookhiser is going to bejoining us. he has written a new biography of james madison who as you know is the name sake of the second biggest city in wisconsin. (cheers and applause) >> jon: i'm going to go right to the big news. >> moammar qaddafi is dead conditions. >> qaddafies with company tured in sirte. hes with on the hood of a car. they had to prop him up. he seemed very groggy. according to one of the rebels involved in that situation. >> he pleaded don't shoot, don't shoot, but they shot him. (laughter) >> jon: you know why they shot him after he said don't shoot, they're rebels. (laughter) >> jon: may,-- hey, man, don't tell us what to do. of course with this sort of event there's always the question of proof. >> there's a photograph that has been published from the news agency afp. i want to warn you about that, it's quite graphic. (laughter) how am i going to explain those shoes to my children. th

>> jon: ♪ america, (bleep) yeah! (cheers and applause) i don't know why i always make myself the bass player. (laughter) why wouldn't by lead get star in it's my own air band and yet... (laughter) i mike myself the bass player. it really makes very little sense. what are we talking about? (laughter) yes! republican majority leader eric cantor is right! the people must take to the streets to take this country back! (chanting) >> whose streets? our streets! >> the whole world is watching! >> jon: oh, my god! it's working! (laughter) eric cantor, are you seeing this? the people have been awakened by your battle cry! >> i for one am increasingly concerned about the growing mobs occupying wall street and the other cities across the country. (laughter) (cheers and applause) >> jon: oh, i thought we were having a democracy soul battle. (laughter) remember, take our country back! the bayonets! the charging with the powder and the muskets. (laughter) so that's what the wall street protestors are doing. somehow that wrong? >>

and applause ) my name is jon stewart. my guests tonight texas congressman and republican presidential contender ron paul will be joining us. ( applause ) on the show. i'm sorry. i meant rick santorum will be here. i apologize. quite different reactions on that. it's like we have an audience full of teachers of the year. ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: playing hooky from what they're supposed to be doing. can their be truancy from a teacher of the year conference? "a dog ate my conference schedule." anyway congressman paul, of course, turning in another fine performance last thursday when the republican presidential candidates gathered in florida for the fox news google debate. the 83rd such debate so far this year following of course the previous cnn tea party debate, the reagan library debate, the history channel civil war recreationist debate, the tron debate. the "are you afraid of the dark" debate, and the "don't tell rick santorum we're canceling the debate" debate. by the way, santorum... ( cheers and applause ) yea

>> jon: have i seen "moneyball?" >> yes. >> jon: yes.um slowly." you can do any baseball movie now see one as smart as that one and well done as that one... >> i thought it was going to suck. (laughter) when they told me they were making it i thought they were insane. i thought i was going to have to go hide. (laughter). >> jon: is that how you pitched in the the room? (laughter) >> the genius of bennett miller, the director, and brad pitt's performance is unbelievable. it's unbelievable. they took a book that shouldn't have been a movie and they made it into a great movie. now i've got this problem. i backed away from it and hid from it for seven years. >> jon: no one checks up on that (bleep). just say "i always knew that'd be great." (laughter) michael, i remember you telling me in 2009 how you thought that the adaptation of that would make an oscar-winning film. (laughter) there's your clip. that's it. you're done. now this, on the other hand. if i may, the premise of this book... you take us through iceland, greece, ireland, germany

captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: what's happening? my name is jon stewart! we've got a nice program for you tonight. our guest tonight, calvin trillin. author of the new book called "quite enough of calvin trillin." oh, we'll be the judge of that. (laughter) what? why would i threaten my own guest? enough levity, enough frivolity, enough rye bald good humor. tonight i want to talk about something serious. (laughter) america is and has been for quite some time at war. now... (laughter) ... not that one. no, this... why don't i just tell you? no, that's not the one! let me... that's not even... when did that start? (laughter) that's not even real! just let me tell you what it is! (laughter) it's a battle for the very soul of our democracy. >> the battle for our democracy is being fought today. >> the raging battle is for america's future. >> the heart and soul of america. >> we must win this battle. >> get your muskets, affix your bayonets and the charge is to the right! >> jon: but before you charge, pour the powder from the powder horn into the barrel and th

(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a nice show tonight. i think you're going to enjoy yourself, our guest jason sudeikis here to pro note-- promote a new program he's on saturday,-- on "saturday night live", god bless him. i don't know if this though is going to last, everybody knows, saturday night is bridge night. everybody that watches the program we recently spent time analyzing how sarah palin has been traveling the country in a constitution wrapped bus frequenting early primary states and talking about her plans to save america which suggested two very distinct requesteds. >> you are either running for president of the united states or you are a crazy person. (laughter) well, last night sarah palin went on fox news, bravely supporting-- that could have easily car keyed her away in -- to provide the answer. >> no, i'm not running. >> jon: so i'm ready to call it with 100% of sarah palin's reporting tonight. the winner is crazy person. (cheers and applause) crazy person was the obvious front-runner. onl