. >> jon: you do.air was. i thought you were doing the ron dugay story. remember the rangers? rnch they making that? i bring it up, jon because you made a movie this past year that you directed that i'm not in. >> jon: well, because i was making a film, not a movie. >> oh. [audience reacts] >> jon: i was trying to class it up a little bit. >> with serious actors. >> jon: just actors people when could act. >> yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] can i go back to the hair quick again. i do a lot of my acting with my hair. >> jon: let me ask you a question. how long did it take to you get a perm? what did they -- >> it's like deniro in raging bull. you have to grow it out, okay? >> jon: sure. >> for months at a time. you have to really let it go. >> jon: or walk into like a sauna, i guess could you do. >> and then you have to go a hair salon. i went to an actual hair salon and had it cut by a professional hair stylist. >> jon: yeah, yeah. i remember being really impressedpressed with robert den raging bull because of

really, jon.ow do you feel about taco bell one of "the daily show"'s major sponsors? hmmmm. >> jon: i think it's it's a place that thinks outside the bun to provide america's families with a wholesome and nutritious dining experience. [ applause ] taco bell -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> yeah. yeah, you know what? i thought you might say that and that is why i sent some over for you. >> jon: you don't have to did that. you didn't have to do that at all. what? >> oh, yeah. [cheers and applause] >> jon: thank uh-oh roman cren turran. >> yum. >> jon: mmmmm. [laughter] i'm definitely not going to poop all night. all night. >> yes, eat up! it takes place in anhaha, cleveland... i love it babe. i'm not your babe. you weren't saying that this morning, when you're like... mmmmm mmmm mmm alright we're done. break up with lingering food. (ding!) mmmmm mmmm for that just brushed clean feeling... ♪ eat, drink, chew orbit to help pay for her kids' ice time, -before earning 1% cash back... -guys! -every

] >> jon: so -- >> stephen: i don't know, jon. a free man now. i'm not sure what -- i'll go wherever the wind takes me. maybe ride the rails. live boxcar to boxcar. learn how to whip up a hearty stew from peanut shells and a stolen chicken. i doesn't sound like much, jon but it's a king's feast to me and my companions. biscuits, the wily mouse that lives in my wee pocket. and anyabell the one eyed prostitute who has a heart of gold. don't you dare call her a whore, jon. >> jon: i wasn't saying anything. i heard david letterman is retiring. stay in television. >> stephen: i heard that, too, jon but they gave the part to some fat guy. timing she's a cruel miss stress. >> jon: don't say fat. pair shaped. >> stephen: don't we kind to him, jon. i've seen the photos. >> jon: they are called birthing hips. i wish you and biscuit, is it? >> >> stephen: biscuit jon in the wee pocket. >> jon: and i wish you both and the one eyed woman, i wish you the best of luck. >> stephen: hold back the tears, jon. you'll be fine. >> jon: thanks for comi

) walks. >> precisely, jon.analysis. [laughter] >> jon: how -- >> jon what the supreme court has said today is money is indeed equivalent to speech. in other words mo money mo pronouns. >> jon: by that logic cutting entitlement programs could be a form of censorship? >> how is that? jon, noo what america you live in this this america you earn the right to speak with your money. >> jon: not all rich people have earned their money. some of them have what you call, you know, very talkative parents who -- >> jon, the people who are doing the listening don't care where the talking is coming from. all they want is that sweet, sweet walking around verbiage. this country was fund on the principle -- >> jon: did you say funded -- you said funded? >> funded, no founded. >> jon: you said funded. you sudden funded. >> i did not. the principle place in this country by our funding fathers. >> jon: you said it again. you said funded. >> i assure you i didn't. can i just bling you back to the point? >> jon: assif if money equal

>> yes, yes jon.all the naacp. >> jon: what are they going to do. >> the national association for the advancement of chris paul to the lakers. [ laughter ] that's right. chris, you need to escape. look, wait until dark and good to the north side of staple center to the lakers locker room. >> jon: how does this fix the racism problem? >> don't be silly. we're never going to fix racism in this country but i'm a lakers fan and we can fix basketball in southern california. >> jon: thank you, ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ gigantic, gigantic, gigantic ♪ a big, big love ♪ gigantic, gigantic, gigantic ♪ a big, big love ♪ ♪ there was a boy who traveled to a faraway place where villages floated on water and castles were houses dragons lurked giants stood tall and the good queen showed the boy it could all be real avo: whatever you can imagine, all in one place expedia, find yours land speed record nine times. what was he chasing? what are you chasing? [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight a new york mets legen

>> jon: oh!get out of, he is vladdy going to get out of this one. >> we don't have a system of interception. according to our law, it cannot exist. >> jon: touche. who would ever have thought putin could outwit a prerecorded question from a man whose life is in his ♪ boring! yeah! ♪ if you want to see old faithful ♪ ♪ don't be such a couch potato ♪ ♪ yeah just go check out the thing for yourself ♪ highlander! ♪ we ain't got no room for boring ♪ ♪ ferdy gerdy ferdy ger boom! [ cluck, cluck ] ♪ no, we ain't got no room ♪ for boring ♪ for boring, we ain't got no room ♪ ahh! [ male announcer ] the all-new highlander. toyota. let's go places. the expedia app helps you save with mobile-exclusive deals [ male announcer ] the all-new highlander. download the expedia app text expedia to 75309 expedia, find yours >> jon: my guest tonight the administrator of the environmental protection agency, please welcome gina mccarthy! [ applause ] >> jon:. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jon: welcome to the program. fi

>> jon: oh!ow is ott vladdy going to get out of, he is vladdy going to get out of this one. >> we don't have a system of interception. according to our law, it cannot exist. >> jon: touche. who would ever have thought putin could outwit a prerecorded question from a man whose life question from a man whose life is in his pizza hut already makes great pizzas. but now they're delivering award-winning wingstreet wings. me to put them to the test, with some real wing experts: pub trivia teams. delicious. these are great! fantastic. really good. you gonna give my man one or are ya gonna box him out here? get 8 bone-out wings r 5 bucks. wingstreet from pizza hut it's like jasper here. strong. sturdy. but not too sweet. [ male announcer ] built from apples. built to refresh. smith & forge hard cider. made strong. we'll pay your early termination fees. so you can get the new galaxy s5 for $0 down. ♪ it's such a good vibration ♪ it's such a sweet... [ singing in russian ] [ dog whines ] [ singing in punja

that's right. >> jon: assif mandvi, that's right. >> jon: assif mandvi, everybody.ew bud light lime ed with mang-o-rita. mang-o-rita combines great margarita taste with a refreshing twist of bud light lime. just pop, pour over ice and enjoy. also try new raz-ber-rita. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight legendary footballer won three world cups during his professional career is the all-time leading goal scorer in soccer history. his new book is called why soccer matters. here is a little taste, just a small taste, of what made him the greatest of all time. ♪ ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jon: wow. please welcome pele. so good to see you. [cheers and applause] it's such an honor for me to have you here not just because of how great you were as a player but how you played the game with such tenacity, such skill but always with such heart. i admire that greatly. >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> you know, jon, sometimes it's hard to understand why because just god know why you do some things. you know? >> jon: yeah. >>

show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. good program for you tonight. you know who son the program tonight? you'll be delighted about this. on the program tonight -- [cheers and applause] -- thank you. peter dinklage from the hit hbo show girls or game of thrones or one of them. it's all nudity to me. first there's been a big development in the chris christie p-the-bridge-gate scandal. >> new results of the chris christie bridge-gate scandal have been released today. >> jon: i wonder what the results will be of the investigation that chris christie himself commissioned. [laughter] perhaps i'll read about it in this scandal's paper of record the christie sun-"times-picayune". i haven't seen the report. what does it say? >> this report has come out. it exonerates you completely. do you feel exonerated. >> jon: i better. it cost me $1 million (bleep) dollars and by me i mean you if you are a new jersey taxpayer.

really, jon.ow do you feel about taco bell one of "the daily show"'s major sponsors? hmmmm. >> jon: i think it's it's a place that thinks outside the bun to provide america's families with a wholesome and nutritious dining experience. [ applause ] taco bell -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> yeah. yeah, you know what? i thought you might say that and that is why i sent some over for you. >> jon: you don't have to did that. you didn't have to do that at all. what? >> oh, yeah. [cheers and applause] >> jon: thank uh-oh roman cren turran. >> yum. >> jon: mmmmm. [laughter] i'm definitely not going to poop all night. [ beep ] oh, hey jim, this is my sister, lisa. [ jim ] mmmmm. so, hot. whoo! mmmmm. that is hot! [ male announcer ] made with real cheese and premium cuts of meat. [ ding! ] ♪ hot pockets! and premium cuts of meat. do you guys ride? well... no. sometimes, yeah. yes. well, if you know anybody else who also rides, send them here -- we got great coverage. it's not like bikers love their b

really, jon. how do you feel about taco bell one of "the daily show"'s major sponsors? hmmmm. >> jon: i think it's it's a place that thinks outside the bun to provide america's families with a wholesome and nutritious dining experience. [ applause ] taco bell -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> yeah. yeah, you know what? i thought you might say that and that is why i sent some over for you. >> jon: you don't have to did that. you didn't have to do that at all. what? >> oh, yeah. [cheers and applause] >> jon: thank uh-oh roman cren turran. >> yum. >> jon: mmmmm. [laughter] i'm definitely not going to poop all night. all niso i just funded my ira with e*trade. you know, planning for the long haul. (cat) planning for the loowwwwg hauuuuuwwwwl, yay. ok, what the heck is that? (director) that's beanie, your new sidekick. sidekick? you can't be serious. i get expert trading tools... (cat) he's got those traaayyyding tooooools! i get... i... can you... (cat)trayyyding tooooools, yeah! are you done? (c

really, jon. how do you feel about taco bell one of "the daily show"'s major sponsors? hmmmm. >> jon: i think it's it's a place that thinks outside the bun to provide america's families with a wholesome and nutritious dining experience. [ applause ] taco bell -- [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> yeah. yeah, you know what? i thought you might say that and that is why i sent some over for you. >> jon: you don't have to did that. you didn't have to do that at all. what? >> oh, yeah. [cheers and applause] >> jon: thank uh-oh roman cren turran. >> yum. >> jon: mmmmm. [laughter] i'm definitely not going to poop all night. >> yes, hershey's drops. perfectly bite-sized drops of rich and creamy chocolate happiness. when the chocolate is hershey's, life is delicious. i like it. must see. i found a great new listing. little busy here. i love this neighborhood. nice. uh huh. it's the agent. they accepted. shut up! [ laughs ] they accepted...owww. [ male announcer ] that moment when it all comes together. th

>> yes, yes jon.re they going to do. >> the national association for the advancement of chris paul to the lakers. [ laughter ] that's right. chris, you need to escape. look, wait until dark and good to the north side of staple center to the lakers locker room. >> jon: how does this fix the racism problem? >> don't be silly. we're never going to fix racism in this country but i'm a lakers fan and we can fix basketball in southern california. >> jon: thank you, ♪ ♪ ♪ have your next burger with a side of awesome. the one-of-a-kind, creamy blend of sweet and tangy. miracle whip and proud of it. sonic has every slush flavor someone could ever want. this is basically slush headquarters. where sour blue raspberry plans world domination. well, not if lemonberry has anything to say about it. ( laughs ) lemonberry, you're already sour. come to the sour side. never! i'll never join you. - lemonberry, you're my son. - nah... daddy. ew, that turned. announcer: refreshment just got colorful with new slush flavors l

>> jon: oh!s ott vladdy going to get out of, he is vladdy going to get out of this one. >> we don't have a system of interception. according to our law, it cannot exist. >> jon: touche. who would ever have thought putin could outwit a prerecorded question from a man whose life is in his guy: hey captain obvious, watch this! captain: when i'm looking for a hotel with a wet pool, i go to hotels.com. you can get up to 50% off with their private sales. that man's privates are no longer private. we'll pay your early termination fees. so you can get the new galaxy s5 for $0 down. sweetheart i'd love to daddy can you play princesbut the guys...with me? they're outside waiting for me. i've got doritos!! steve... what is the hold up? [ crunch ] it's like jacob here. strong. sturdy. [ shouts ] but not too sweet. [ male announcer ] built from apples. come on, jacob! built to refresh. throw it to me! smith & forge hard cider. made strong. ohhh! >> jon: my guest tonight the administrator of the environmental

>> jon: you are so good in this. >> thank you. you saw it? >> jon: no. no, i did see it.phenomenal. it's incredibly emotional. and we were just talking about this. so it flips back and forth. i don't want to give... is it okay to say it goes from... >> tell the whole thing it's fine. i'll find out if you are bluffing. >> jon: world war ii to 1980. it goes back and forth. we were thinking 1980 is a period piece. because the distance of time between 1980 and now is the same amount between 1980 and world war ii. >> hurts, doesn't it? >> jon: it really... >> i was doing a play set in 1952, and i reserved it to as a period piece and my mother was mortified. >> jon: what do you mean it's modern history? >> exactly. the first time i was on your show is probably a period piece now. ( laughter ) >> jon: exactly. a woman asked me tonight when you first started here what was it... i was like when did i first start? was it 42? you clearly now you are in fighting shape. are you doing a boxing movie or something? i've never seen you in this type of fighting shape before? >> people seem

one out of every six. >> jon: and? 200920% of the votes had to be discounted because they were considered fraudulent. >> jon: okay not the ideal conditions i'm sure 60% is fraudulent anyway. >> widespread alleges of bottle stuffing and fraud have not materialized. people have until the end of today to property -- report complaints. one has to do with polling stations running out of ballots. >> jon: not only that but the fox news affiliate in kabul reported that a black panther was trying to intimidate white voters outside of the polling station. [laughter] wow. seven million afghan citizens ignored death threats from the taliban to get to the polls. i cannot imagine the gargantuan balls that these guys must have. >> a third of the voters that lined up at the polling stations yesterday were women. [ laughter ] >> jon: you know it -- it occurs to me we need to maybe come up with a better term to describe balls than balls. of laugh lady balls. [laughter] ballettes. estricles. it's great it went well but they are going to

[cheers and applause] >> jon: samantha bee. [cheers and applause] >> jon: samantha bee. you are about to become very popular. because when you buy the new samsung galaxy s5 on verizon, you get a second samsung galaxy s5 for free. so, who ya gonna give it to? maybe your brother could use it to finally meet a girl. your mom, but isn't your love reward enough? its not. maybe your roommate, i mean you pretty much share everything else. hey. your girlfriend. just do not tell her it was free. whoever you choose, you'll both get the best devices on the number 1 ranked network. for best results, use verizon. maestro of project management. baron of the build-out. you need a permit... to be this awesome. and you...rent from national. because only national lets you choose any car in the aisle... and go. and only national is ranked highest in car rental customer satisfaction by j.d. power. (aaron) purrrfect. (vo) meee-ow, business pro. meee-ow. go national. go like a pro. has every amenity. booooriiiing!!!! ah, ah, ah. hit it, guys! ♪ ♪ it's got a bin for your chickens ♪ ♪ a compute

this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. michael lewis joining usm written a book about high frequency tradinging on wall street and just how misunderstood and incredibly fair it really is and how it and it asloane working to make this world a better place for you and me. [ laughter ] (bleep). first it's been three weeks since the disappearance of malaysian flight 370. three weeks filled with dispair and anger for the families. confusion and frustration for the investigators and ratings for cnn. in these three weeks cnn has been much like our native american and set ancestors usiny part of tragedy of. [laughter] with non-stop expert news reenactments, graphic simulation, with just a souscian of pop culture relevance. >> there's a theory out there with a so-called zombie plane theory. >> jon: because zombies are hot, yo! or maybe the plane was cooking meth in a new mexico t

[laughter] >> jon: oh, or that. i guess. or for no reason your car may perhaps form to an uncontrollable 2500 power dead metallic blue cannon ball, satellite radio omtional. they learned the problem and immediately moved for a recall. system worked. >> gm first noticed the problem in 2001. >> jon: right 2001. they noticed the problem in 2001 but you have to approach these things with caution. you have to figure out exactly what the problem is. >> it's what is called a detent plunger. this tiny part in the recalled vehicles was too short and could slip makinging it possible for the ignition to shift while driving. >> jon: save the plunger, save the world. [laughter] >> in mamp 2005, a -- a gm report said fixes would take too long and cost too much. quote" none of the solutions represents an eapable business case." >> jon: they found out in 2001, studied it for four years, did an internal cost benefit analysis using ratio equations and came up with (bleep). [ laughter ] cost too much. out of curiosity, though let me ask you a

[laughter] >> jon: what? >> exactly. that's right. >> jon: assif mandvi, everybody.s premium chicken club is awesome. there's a new premium chicken club in town? oh, no. i'm talking about the sandwich. is it just for chickens, or do they let people in? sometimes they let people in if you're cool enough. you've been? yes, i've been to the premium chicken club. you -- how did you get in? 'cause i knew the password. what is it? password is "there's no club, you moron"! "there's no club, you moron." [ male announcer ] welcome to the premium asiago caesar chicken club. and start your day with the 99¢ morning drink stop. [ click ] this is how you sonic. and start your day with the 99¢ morning drink stop. hey there can i help you? shhhhhh (whispering) sorry hi, uh we need a new family plan. w about 10 gigs of data to share and unlimited talk and text. oh ten gigs sounds pretty good. yeah really good. and for a family of four, it's $160 a month (breaks whisper) what! get outta here! (whispering) i'm sorry are we still doing the whisper thing? or? o! sorry! yes yes! we'll tak

this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] that's a fact. thank you for joining us. our guest tonight oh, she puts the huff in huffpo. awr -- arianna huffington. tonight the malaysian flight seems to have shown the worst. >> a jumbo jet carrying 239 people. we're doing everything we can to get as many detail as possible from the sources around the world. >> jon: the accurate and humble assessment from cnn until they realized oh, (bleep) we have 23 hours and 59 minutes left to fill. [ laughter ] (bleep) it let's go nuts. and they did. with everybody -- everything in their bag of tricks. giant floor maps. big flake airplanes. little fake airplanes. holographic airplanes. no airplane detail left unspoken. >> a plane like this is around 61, 62 meters end to tend. 61-62 side to side. >> jon: you are telling them what a plane looks like? [laughter] did you forget who watches cnn? you could tell 9

>> yes, yes jon. call the naacp. >> jon: what are they going to do. >> the national association for the advancement of chris paul to the lakers. [ laughter ] that's right. chris, you need to escape. look, wait until dark and good to the north side of staple center to the lakers locker room. >> jon: how does this fix the racism problem? >> don't be silly. we're never going to fix racism in this country but i'm a lakers fan and we can fix basketball in southern california. fan and we can fix basketball in southern california. >> jon: thank you, brewed for more this ispirited nights.tune. it's undistilled, yet it has a smooth clean finish. you might choose a regular beer, but then you might get a regular night. miller fortune. your fortune awaits. thanks. mmm, actually it does! get ready for summer with a frozen, fruit-flavored dunkin' coolatta. pick up any small coolatta for just $1.99. that's why i got a new windows 2 in 1. it has exactly what i need for half of what i thought i'd pay. and i don't need

>> jon: oh!he is vladdy going to get out of this one. >> we don't have a system of interception. according to our law, it cannot exist. >> jon: touche. who would ever have thought putin could outwit a prerecorded question from a man whose life question from a man whose life is in his yo, untamed larger than life, question from a man whose life is in his move fast fruit flavor, watermelon, blue razz green apple. your taste buds dancing. it's the jolly rancher, we make it happen. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. yeah. i heard about progressive's "name your price" tool? i guess you can tell them how much you want to pay and it gives you a range of options to choose from. huh? i'm looking at it right now. oh, yeah? yeah. what's the... guest room situation? the "name your price" tool, making the world a little more progressive. >> jon: my guest tonight the administrator of the environmental protection agency, please welcome gina mccarthy! [ applause ] >> jon:. >> thank you. [ applause ] >> jon: we

>> jon: oh!of, he is vladdy going to get out of this one. >> we don't have a system of interception. according to our law, it cannot exist. >> jon: touche. who would ever have thought putin could outwit a prerecorded question from a man whose life ♪ ♪ break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. sfuel reward card is really what makes it like two deals in one. salesperson #2: actually, getting a great car with 42 highway miles per gallon makes it like two deals in one. salesperson #1: point is there's never been a better time to buy a jetta tdi clean diesel. avo: during the first ever volkswagen tdi clean diesel event, get a great deal on a jetta tdi. it gets 42 highway miles per gallon. and get a $1,000 fuel reward card. it's like two deals in one. volkswagen has the most tdi clean diesel models of any brand. hurry in and get a $1,000 fuel reward card and 0.9% apr for 60 months on tdi models. unwrap your paradise. soft, sweet coconut covered in rich, creamy chocolate. alm

>> jon: what? biographer would say, this is insight into me. >> jon: i say. >> gandhi has written about his life, other people have written about gandhi's life, therefore grand, based on gandhi's writing but i liked to look at the perspective on him, what people are saying about him, in south africa for example the whit whiy bulger newspapers, not -- not in a similar manner to the report you were just talking about, but saying things about him, you know, they were his friends, his rivals so what other people are saying amount gandhi, the documents can illuminate his life, his early formation, his views, much better than he is remembered or dare i say it miss remembered memories of his early life. >> jon: what that is what i love about this. what i love about what you brought to this is context because as you lionize an individual they begin to narrow. >> absolutely. >> jon: in our memory. and you forget, you know, it is like when i look at a black and white picture. i forget, oh that jacket could b

[cheers and applause] >> jon: samantha bee. [cheers and applause] >> jon: samantha bee. you are about to become very popular. because when you buy the new samsung galaxy s5 on verizon, you get a second samsung galaxy s5 for free. so, who ya gonna give it to? maybe your brother could use it to finally meet a girl. your mom, but isn't your love reward enough? its not. maybe your roommate, i mean you pretty much share everything else. hey. your girlfriend. just do not tell her it was free. whoever you choose, you'll both get the best devices on the number 1 ranked network. for best results, use verizon. right now you can build your own. girl: sweet! make mine with the seven-grain bread with strawberries -- oh, no, wait, bananas. ooh, and glazed pecans! whoa, i get to choose my own sauces? better hurry, beautiful, it's not going to be around for that long. [ding] welcome to denny's. salesgets up to 795 highwayal is the passamiles per tank.sel salesperson #2: actually, we're throwing in a $1,000 fuel reward card. we've never done that. that's why there's never been a better t

that's right. >> jon: assif mandvi, that's right. >> jon: assif mandvi, everybody. you are about to become very popular. because when you buy the new samsung galaxy s5 on verizon, you get a second samsung galaxy s5 for free. so, who ya gonna give it to? maybe your brother could use it to finally meet a girl. your mom, but isn't your love reward enough? its not. maybe your roommate, i mean you pretty much share everything else. hey. your girlfriend. just do not tell her it was free. whoever you choose, you'll both get the best devices on the number 1 ranked network. for best results, use verizon. yo,move fast fruit flavor,fe, watermelon, blue razz green apple. your taste buds dancing. it's the jolly rancher, we make it happen. untamed fruit flavor. jolly rancher. has every amenity. booooriiiing!!!! ah, ah, ah. hit it, guys! ♪ ♪ it's got a bin for your chickens ♪ ♪ a computer from the future ♪ ♪ and some giant freaky room for eight ♪ ooh, yeah! ♪ but it ain't got no room for boring ♪ i'm spacing out on all this space, too! ♪ no, we ain't got no room for boring ♪ ♪ for

- "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. good one tonight. my guest author william cohan to talk about the duke lacrosse scannedel, the price of silence. it costs $3.99. that's right. there's breaking news in the case of l.a. clippers owner donald sterling. he has come under fire for his thoughts on the instagram-ability of -- i guess you could call it girlfriend/black person friendship. >> effective immediately, i am banning mr. sterling for life. [cheers and applause] >> jon: yes! >> from any association with the clippers organization or the nba. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jon: wow. so much excitement out there. so much excitement out there from the entire world and even apartly the past. [ laughter ] -- apparently the past. it's good to see the distinction between free speech and consequence free speech. my guest is this is not the death nell for this long and proud tradition of crazy talk. >> if i were in

[laughter] >> jon: okay. so -- [laughter] by the way we spent all day looking up old stuff on the internet of stephen. it's really fun. i mean working, we were working. truly one of great pleasures of doing this will show has been trying to maintain professional composure while mr. colbert is making me laugh uncontrolibly. the exciting news today is i no longer need a cable subscription for the privilege of watching stephen colbert. our good friend stephen colbert will be heading to cbs to take over the late show from, for at least me, the comedian broadcaster who is the best there ever was, david letterman. i think the best there ever was. and i think -- here is the exciting thing for me. i think stephen colbert is up for the challenge. while we wish dave the absolute best for a well earned retirement, there's no greater joy for seeing a genuinely good man who works as hard as he can every day and deserves all the success in the world actually get that success. for stephen we're just thrilled. [cheers and ap

oceans 11 type guys. >> yes. >> jon: let me pitch the movie for you. >> it's been done. >> jon: theyat runs things right. >> they go to investors. people running the savings of this country and say look this is basic basically what is happening. the investors -- you would think they would know what is going on in the stock market and they kind of do. they kind of know something is wrong. they go to the hedge fund manager who is always buying companies and selling companies. he thought. he thought they had an insider trading leak. the market was so able to anticipate he thought someone was leaking information about when he was doing. >> jon: which would be illegal. >> it would be illegal. >> jon: but if a computer does it. >> it's okay. especially if it's a mac. [laughter] but so -- so -- this he goes -- he educates people. they say to him create a fair place for us to trade. so in a way he was answering a call. >> jon: and they do it and people go after them in incredibly vicious ways, trying to ruin them and break them. and they create this iex and it's working. it's still going on