>> jon: yeah!d of pump that just to get all ready before you come out -- >> i can't even get up in the morning without lifting ( bleep ). >> first thing being yourself. >> jon: don't let what appears to be an out-of-shape body and someone who in 15 years has gone from being young to ernest borgnine-- >> that's not true. >> jon: i'm not talking even mchale's navy. i'm talking spongebob era. >> you look the same except for some little salt and pepper silver fox thing happening as you did 20 years ago. >> jon: that is maybe the biggest, best lie anybody has ever-- that's very kind of you to say. >> you had dark -- >> that was your best performance? you're very good in "cake." >> i'm being serious. >> jon: but that-- it's interesting, we were-- i can't remember what it was. we were in the re-write. >> yes. >> jon: and i dropped my pen. and everyone froze. >> why? >> jon: because i think they wanted to see is he going to bend down? do you think he's going to go for it? >> you're talking like you're a ve

it's miller time. >> jon: . >> jon: that sour show.larry wilmore. lar-- what? what's the matter. >> hey, jon hey. >> jon: wait, -- >> no, no that's trivial stuff i was-- i was sad about you know income inequality, as it relates to housing policy. yup, that's all. >> jon: inequitable

my name is jon stewart! our guest tonight-- oh, man is this fella talented, incredibly talented fella-- oscar isaac, from the film "a most violent year," is going to be here, but first-- ( applause ) that's for all the young kuwaiti kids who might be watching. ( cheers and applause ) that's all natural right there. ( laughter ) but first, america's election campaigns have become insanely expensive, but there's no need to pretend to reach for your wallet anymore. someone else is picking up the tab. >> the political network led by the koch brothers, has put a price tag on its spending plans. >> $900 million in the 2016 cycle. >> that's a lot of money. >> jon: now, you may think to yourself, oh, that's ( bleep ) up. ( laughter ) aren't those guys going to want something in exchange for spending the gross national product of many countries on one election cycle? and is the thing they want control over the levers of our democracy or would they settle for hand jobs? ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) well, rest

>> jon: it's this book that i -- >> what? >> jon: i was reading it today.t's quite good. >> wow. >> jon: you tell, you spin a nice yarn, my friend. >> thank you very much jon i'm very honored that you would read it. >> jon: well, normally i nap during that time but -- >> there's one quote that i will-- on the back larry david, that i like. what a wonderful book. if only it was about someone else. (cheers and applause) >> jon: but you know do you are you relaxing, just on a book tour do you get to watch the super bowl, do you get to do anything. >> the super bowl i don't-- i dvred it i will watch it in a couple-- i'm canadian. we don't care about the super bowl. no we don't. if i wanted to see sweaty 300 pound men run into each other, i would go to wal-mart. i don't-- (applause) i certainly saw the halftime show though. >> jon: that was nice. >> nothing deflated about katy perry. hey. i never wanted to be a robotic tiger more in my life. >> jon: was that a pup ed. how did they do -- >> i don't know. i thought that was so insanely-- . >> jon: at first i thoug

name is jon stewart. my guest tonight oh we got a good one. oscar nominee patricia arquette from "boyhood" but first you know,. >> brian williams will not be in the anchor chair this evening, after a self-imposed suspension from nbc nightly news following his admission that he mislead the public about his experiences covering the iraq war back in 2003. >> jon: bri! why? (laughter) why bri? why bri lie? sigh. (laughter) were you bri high? cuz if they keep finding [bleep] it's bri bye. a quick recap in case you are under 70 and don't religiously turn on the network news every night at k6 30,. >> in 2003 brian williams gave his original report from iraq. >> we asked the u.s. army to take us on an air mission with them. >> the chinook ahead of us was almost blown out of the sky. >> that hole was made by a rocket propelled grenade orr pg. >> jon: oh. but in 2013 on letterman it became. >> two of our four helicopters were hit. by ground fire including the one i was in. >> no kidding. >> rp g&a k-47s. >> jon: no

let your awesome out. >> jon: . >> jon: that sour show.he nightly show. larry wilmore. lar-- what? what's the matter. >> hey, jon hey. >> jon: wait, -- >> no, no that's trivial stuff i was-- i was sad about you know income inequality, as it relates to housing policy. yup, that's all. >> jon: inequitable subsidy allocations. >> well, yeah, why wouldn't i be, jon. i mean -- >> why would he pass instead of running, jon! it was on the one yard line! the one! you will be all right larry we'll see you in a little minute. that's our show, stay tuned for the night low show. here it is, your moment of zen. >> i'm hoping the others drop out, leave me by myself. that would be delightful for me. and if that news happens the rest of the next few months i would be delighted. that would be great. >> don't hold your b comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> larry: tonightly -- america's obesity rate creeps up 27.7%. on the plus side, now it's higher than our math scores. a a third of americans are obese? that's the most d

(cheers and applause) >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight, sienna miller is going to be joining us. but first i want to show you guys something -- boom! (laughter) i don't know if you know this -- (cheers and applause) you may not realize this, i collect wrists! (laughter) i'm a wristologist! (laughter) i met a dude -- i have been doing this show now, 93 years. never met a dude wearing a bunch of watches who says to me, i just asked you because i'm a horologist. i don't -- come visit us tickets are free. (laughter) let's get into the program. first, there are certain things that are forever. diamonds. batman. and, at this point, the debate over the keystone xl pipeline. >> for six years, the debate over the keystone xl pipeline has often dominated beltway politics. >> if it's ever built, the pipeline will carry crude extracted from the tar sands of alberta canada some 1,700 miles to nebraska, but it has been stalled for six years at the canadian border awaiting the president's approval.

>> >> jon: very much so. >> it's been years! >> jon: i thought it was a dream!very-- look, i'm going to tell you the truth. >> all right. >> i don't scare easy. i'm a hugely courageous individual. >> yes. >> jon: i was-- i was a little bit scared. >> yeah, that's good! my goal was just to scare you. >> jon: is that true? is that why my name is mentioned all the time in the film? >> yeah. >> jon: when you get a screener from a film company your name is on it. but i never had that before with a horror movie so people are like every now and again my name will come up. ( laughter ) >> this is for you jon stewart. >> jon: right. what was the-- "the ring?" is that where if you watch something and six days later-- >> yeah right. it haunts you. if you view vhs you will die soon. >> jon: that would actually be a great horror movie because that would mean all of our grandparents are gone, them and people with answering machines. but are you a particular genre fan? is this just something you wanted to try? where are you at? >> i wanted to try this. i love this genre when i

this is darfur. >> 2004. >> jon: this is -- libya. >> jon: the next is -- afghanistan. >> jon: so let'salk. you're not in any of those pictures. are you lying to us that you were there? (laughter) >> yeah, i actually sent my assistant to take the pictures. (laughter) i had a remote... >> jon: but that is remarkable unfettered, unprotected access. >> sure, when i'm with the u.s. military, i feel somewhat protected. but in darfur, for example, we were sneaking in. we went there and had to walk a mile in amongst the rebels. we walked around looking for displaced people, bodies, burned villages the beginning of the war in darfur. >> jon: right. what's so incredible to me is without someone such as yourself and real courage that you display, we don't know about this. >> sure. i think the role of journalism is fundamental. that's one thing people overlook when they look at me and say, why do you do where to you get your news? don't take it for granted. when you look alt a photo in the "new york times," there's a photographer taking the picture. without journalism, we wouldn't know what's goin

it's not-- it's not-- >> wow. >> jon: what? >> wow. >> jon: what?lk directly to your testicles for a second because i think you're holding them hostage. ( laughter ) you poor balls. your ancestors used to roam free, the wind blowing through your soft fuzzy hair, the sun soaking up into your wrinkled skin knowing that six-- this whole goddamn world was yours! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: wow. that was actually-- that was quite moving, that was. >> oh, jon, your balls are crying. ( laughter ) >> jon: not crying, kristin. they're allergic to wool. >> come on, jon get it together. occupying all the territory you can is sexy. when i'm on a subway car with all those men taking charge of the seats around them, i get so weak in the knees, i can barely stand, but i have to. ( laughter ) ( applause ). >> jon: see, that's-- that's seems rude to make you stand in that. >> jon, who is the manliest man in the world? >> that's george clooney. >> yes jean claude van damme. and look how much room he needs for his balls. would you call that rude or amazing? >> jon

there. >> i did. >> jon: and things are going well. >> yes. >> jon: and then they kick you out of theened. so i was on a flight. i had been living there for ten years. i was actually the largest foreign investor in russia and i was on a flight coming from london back to moles moscow and arrived at the vip lounge at the moscow airport -- >> jon: look at you! vip lounge! (laughter) >> so i arrive there, and it's supposed to be five minutes in and out type of thing. they have me sitting there for a while. four guards come in, grab me by the scruff of my neck and take me to the detention center to have thetohave -- center of the airport. i didn't know whether i was being taken to siberia or kicked out of the country. i sat there about 15 hours. they grabbed me again. ithey put me on a flight and sent me to london and declared me a threat to national security. >> jon: in russia? that's probably the best it regulation of that outcome you could get. they drag you down hold you for a few hours and go, all right, you can go to london. >> the alternative would have been a lot worse. >> jon: so

>> jon: this is insane!s is insane. >> jon: you're a leading man -- >> well i went to leading man school. it was actually a driving school, leading man school double thing. so i got a ticket. i could have gone to pizza traffic school but went to leading man traffic school. >> jon: that was a smart move. i don't know what happened. it was on a show called "breaking bad" and that was crazy good. >> jon: crazy! out of the clear blue, i get a phone call mix agent says they're going to offer you a part on a show don't say no. and i'm, like, i'm not saying no to good parts! and, so, did breaking bad and phenomenon and vince and peter had an idea for this show and went and i'm, like, if you guys want to do it, i'm there. >> jon: first of all, i love your lack of enthusiasm. it's great. it's the hallmark of actor. >> it's the hallmark of the jaded show business guy who's been told it's going to happen too many times. >> jon: you know, here's what's so great about it, i've known you for so many years -- >> you don't

daily show" with jon stewart! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my guest tonight, bill browder of the book called "red notice," an incredible story of his son as a businessman in russia. first, the united states is being hit with an outbreak of a terrible disease. i'm not going to tell you which one. i'm going to tell you this, it rimes with vin diesels. >> measles is making a comeback. the highly infectious virus has spread to 14 states. >> the contagen factor in measles is off the chain. (laughter) >> jon: this just in... measles is off-the-chain contagious! it likes big lungs! it cannot lie! (cheers and applause) i guess what she's trying to say is measles started from the bottom. now it's here. (applause) obviously, i'm not a doctor. pardon my ignorance. but what does the medical establish mean by off the chain contagious? >> if i had measles, walked in, walked out and you walked in the room two hours later, you could get measles if you had not

i'm jon stewart.y guest tonight is david axelrod with his book "believer", his story of following justin bieber on tour for two solid years. , yes david. obviously, there are other things to talk about. we'll get to that later. you probably know things these people don't yet which is usually a twist on things but trust me we'll get there. but first we've got to do the show! as you know the horrific situation, the killing of the jordanian pilot by i.s.i.s., the country has rallied and made fans. >> jordan's king abdullah is turning the table on i.s.i.s. >> i couldn't be more expressed with the way the king of jordan has handled this both the strength and deed. >> i like him, a clint eastwood hybrid. >> he quoted clint eastwood from unforgiven! >> jon: yes clint eastwood. he's a leader unlike the president of our white house. >> i don't know what it's going to take to get the president involved. we crave that in the united states. >> can we just point out the difference between president obama and the k

jon stewart. and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: ladies and gentlemen my name is jon stewart. our guest top christine lagarde. christine lagarde, managing director of the inf international monetary fund. she will be here to promote money later on. a lot of surprising results from last night i don't think anybody expected-- oh and the oscars too. about common and john legend though come on. those guys whooo! they were, that was one of the best moments on tv i've ever seen. but first everybody knows isis are horrible barbaric apocalyptic death full of blood thirsty monsters. i know that it is on all of their advertisements. (laughter) that's why our government is throwing ot all the stops to wipe them out. >> president obama is convening what is being called a summit on countering violence extremism, to defeat the terrorists that go beyond military actions. >> jon: oh [bleep]. (laughter) >> you done poked a sleeping bear isis. and now the bear is having a summit! (laughter)

my name is jon stewart. on the show tonight my guest tonight the great actor colin firth is going to be joining us. but before we get started i did want to ask you a quick question. i was perusing the internet and i guess my question to you is did i die? (laughter) cuz it all seems very i died. (laughter) no very weird. an overwhelming day here as you can imagine. and people have been asking and i'm not exactly sure what-- and i'm in the trying to brag but some offers have been coming in. >> even fast-food chain arby's got in on the fun tweeting jon, feel free to reach out to us at careers careers@arby's.comful (cheers and applause) >> jon: you know what actually, you know what i guess my only question would be if i work there would i have to handle serve touch, eat or even look at what you so generously describe as food? that's-- that's right, arbies this [bleep] ain't over. i do not accept your peace offer. we shall always be enemies. for while you are a worthy adversary you will be-- arby's come for the t

that-- >> jon. >> jon: what?actually, my parents were married so technically i'm not a bastard. >> jon: fine! it just was a figure of speech! the point is on the right they're pretending that our toothfulness is what's really important to them which ironically is not true. what matters to the right is discrediting anything that they believe harms their side. that's their prime directive. and unlike captain kirk, they ( bleep ) stick with the prime directive. they don't just drop the prot colany time they feel like humping a green girl in a unitarred. look this mission drives their attack on all the institutions that form the foundation of the country they purport to love so dearly. >> our vague and very broken government got bigger and more broken. >> americans already suffering in a broken education system. >> teachers suggesting america is evil. >> america's election system, broken. >> science itself seems a little bit corrupt. there's a lot of agendas involved. >> voter fraud is rampant. >> jon: and pra, pray