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>> jon: yeah, sure.ady come on. come on jon. >> larry: . >> jon: all right, thank you larry have fun. that's our show. here it is your home of zen. >> in the '90s i thought lots of fun tweets so we will start with d who says in the '90s i thought that computers were much easier to use. remember the green flashing you know. >> oh yeah. >> and thought nothing will ever be as cool as crystal meth.group at wgbh access.wgbh.org announcer: tosh.o features videos from the internet. enjoy. >> what the -- >> oh! ♪ >> that fan is not going to clean itself. welcome to tosh.o. my birthday was this weekend. i don't want to toot my own horn but i think i look pretty grate for 22. tonight on the show the naked wizard gets rediem. i introduce you to bob my pleasure coach. i let you decide what will be in my dressing room when i go on tower. let's watch this chick get thrown into a fan again. don't try this at home. i'm kidding i

>> jon: it's called. >> infiniteitly. >> jon: bear. >> "infinitely polar bear." >> jon: you got it. so good in it. >> thanks, jon. no, it's cool. i'm selling a movie. you're doing a show. okay, so i'm just another addition in the parade of false pleasantries you foist aboutp -- >> now that's not entirely, unsuspecting audience members. >> so it's cool. but this this moment, i'd like to take a look back tonight in a celebration of what a tremendous interviewer you have been. >> gl thankbeen. >> jon: thank you. the movies are great. >> thank you. >> jon: it is a good movie and you're very good in it. it's terrific. the movie opens up on fridays. this book moves me-- i didn't actually see it. no i have not read it, but here's the thing-- >> you haven't seen it, but it is terrificking. >> you have seen it? >> jon: i have not. i haven't seen it. i don't watch that ( bleep ). i don't read that. >> you have seen it. >> jon: i have not. >> have. >> jon: you are you kidding me? obviously, i've seen the movie. >> i know you haven't seen the movie, you know, but that's, you know-- because-- (

>> jon: welcome to the daily show my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight, everybody's buzzing in the office tonight. we got ourselves taylor schilling. taylor schilling is going to join us. (applause) >> i don't even know where to start. last week was amazing! all right we all know country's been in a bit of a rough patch latly. the [bleep] i believe it's referred to. (laughter) but then all of a sudden out of nowhere confederate flags start coming undo supreme court decisions supporting health care fair housing marriage equality. it was a display-- (cheers and applause) >> jon: stunning in its-- it was a display stunning in its a lack rit and its completenessment traditionally victimized communities granted the legal dignity that had been denied them so many years. truly a moment of joy or or or-- (laughter) to put that another way -- >> today some of the darkest 24 hours in our nation's history. (laughter) boo! >> jon: they're not booing they're saying clue! why what-- what is wrong the darkest 24-- what is wrong-- the insurance exchange

>> jon: no! me in some kind of comedy hospice. ( cheers and applause ) where all i'm getting is this straight morphine-- well obviously, with such a stunning announcement we have full team coverage. we're going live to jordan klepper at trump headquarters. what is-- what is the latest? >> jon, i can't believe this is really happening. donald trump is running for president. it's going to be so, so good. so, so-- oooh! oooh! >> jon: jordan! >> oooh! ooooo-oooh! >> jon: i'm going to hasan while you collect yourself. hasan minaj live from the capitol. what is the word down there? >> yes, jon, i just want to oako what my colleague is saaay-- let's get back to the announcement that trump is rung for president. oh my god! oooh! oooh! i'm sorry, jon. but -- >> just because donald trump is going to be flying around in air force trump doesn't-- >> oooh. >> oooh! >> oooh! oooh! >> ooooh! >> jon: stop, think of your grandmother! think of your grandmother! >> my grandma is it running for president! >> at trum

>> jon: '97? point taken. >> and face it, jon.s actually on it. jon, who is on the 50. >> jon: easy president 50-ington. >> exactly. guys if you want to make a real stack at progress put women on preobsolete things. but of put eleanor roosevelt on apple pay or put olivia pope on bitcoin. >> jon: you would feel better about all this wouldn't you? >> at the end of the day i don't give a damn who is on the bill. what i do care about is getting an equal share of the bill. i would rather have 10 full hamilton dollars than 8.45 of lady bucks. >> jon: j and when you bundle your home and auto insurance through progressive, you'll save a bundle! [ laughs ] jamie. right. make a bad bundle joke a buck goes in the jar. i guess that's just how the cookie bundles. now, you're gonna have two bundles of joy! i'm not pregnant. i'm gonna go. [ tapping, cash register dings ] there you go. [ buzzing ] bundle bee coming! it was worth it! saving you a bundle when you bundle -- now, that's progressive. give it to me i'm worth it. baby i'm worth it. uh h

. >> jon: you left comedy.and then i lost track of what happened. so where have you been these past few years? >> i have been in minnesota and in washington d.c. i split my time between them. i'm in the united states senate. >> jon: whoa. >> but look jrz why would you do that to your accept? >> i will explain that to get things done. but before i do that i want to say something because i don't come on these shows very often. but i wanted to say something about you, okay. >> jon: is this going to be anti-semitic because i can take it i can take it. >> and quoi do anti-semitic because i'm jewish but i wonts i won't this is going to be look, you have taken this platform and with your hard work, your judgement your int elect you have-- your intellect, you have engaged a generation of young people in public policy in politics not enough to get them the vote. >> jon: i was waiting. you couldn't just leave me hanging out there. >> but enough to get some of them to rock the boat party. and those are fun parties. >> jon

is jon stewart.you tonight. my guest tonight first minister of scotland leader of the scottish nationalist party nicolea sturgeon will be joining us, very excited about that. but first june is here. really? >> you applaud june? >>. >> group of kallender fetishists in the audience. >> he's right it's june. >> i love this time of career time to check in with our regular upbeat segment jon stewart summertime news. what fun summer story are we covering tonight? >> a summer pool party in an upscale neighborhood ends with police under fire and a texas community outrageed that pool-goers became obsessed that teenagers shodz up allegedly without a pool pass for a birthday party at a swim club. >> a police officer in texas is on administrative leave after being caught on video throwing a teenage girl to the ground. coalso be seen pointing his weapon at other teens. >> jon: how do you know from a pool party to this? when i say marco you say polo mother [bleep] say polo marco! marco! (applause) suburban pool pa

>> jon: it will be fine. be fine. >> jon: all right. >> but the pope-- i'm sorry, i disagree-- i'm a spiritual guy catholic, good good good. you know when i step in dog ( bleep ) -- >> you said pope and wet dream. who brings that up? >> maybe i'm a hoax. maybe i'm a hoax. and maybe i introduced him 30 years ago on cable. >> jon: richard lewis was the host of-- it was a comic special, i was 24-- >> and you looked like me back then. you were 10 and i was about 21. >> jon: i keep vug back on the show to find out what i'm going to look like. ( applause ) i keep bringing you on-- i am bringing you on right now to go, "all right i'll be fine." >> better than that. i could have gone to woodstock but it was drizzling and i stayed home. okay. ( laughter ) but i went to a lot of stuff when i was 16 and 17. now if i had ( bleep ) anybody in that mud he could have been my son and it would have been unbelievable. ( cheers and applause ) i love you -- >> can i tell you something? >> it's your show. >> jon: that was nicer t

>> jon: yeah, sure.all right, thank you larry have fun. that's our show. here it is your home of zen. >> in the '90s i thought lots of fun tweets so we will start with d who says in the '90s i thought that computers were much easier to use. remember the green flashing you know. >> oh yeah. >> and thought nothing will ever be as cool as crystal meth.group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> larry: tonightly the head of the naacp is secretly a white woman. coincidentally secret white women is my favorite yankie candle. when asked when if she was african-american. ms. dolezal said she didn't understand the question. they should of asked her when your ancestors left africa were they above deck or blow deck? and "jurassic world" is top at the box office. another story we won't get to because of the fake white women story. put your wig on this. is the nightly show. captioning sponsored by comedy central [cheers and applause] ♪ [cheers and applause] >> larry: yes, monday. welcome to the "nightly show" how we doing on a

>> jon: yeah, sure.o talk about that crazy white lady come on. come on jon. >> larry: . >> jon: all right, thank you larry have fun. that's our show. here it is your home of zen. >> in the '90s i thought lots of fun tweets so we will start with d who says in the '90s i thought that computers were much easier to use. remember the green flashing you know. >> oh yeah. >> and thought nothing will ever be as cool as crystal meth. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org >> larry: tonightly the head of the naacp

>> of course i do. >> jon: -- >> jon, you won. >> jon: i won. >> you're american's idol. >> jon: didhe most prolific comedy writer director actor guys i think i have ever seen and all their stuff top-notch. not a dud in the bunch. >> not one i don't know how they do it. >> jon: how did you get involved with this. >> i don't know i have no idea. >> jon: you don't even watch your own show. >> i don't know what i am doing. >> jon: taylor. >> what day is it. >> jon: are you good enough, are you smart enough and gosh darn it people like you. the thing about these types of shows when they hit like lightning, your life changes overnight. like your life changed overnight, yes? >> yeah, i think i actually think it happened intentionally the way people watch netflix it all comes out of one swrz like a weekend. >> and suddenly they-- it was like 48 hours and by the first time it happened and everyone was just like-- . >> jon: did you track that on your like contact, did you suddenly your phone -- >> my contacts. >> jon: your contacts on a phone. >> i have contacts on my phone but how would-- i

i say absolutely not. >> jon: that is just science that's just fair. >> exactly. >> jon: but and theren. you told it a bunch of times but how many people accepted the challenge or just most people tell you to [bleep] off. >> most people-- . >> jon: the interview. >> almost everybody said yes. >> jon: was there somebody that you met back then who didn't remember remember this and so when you went back up they were stunned at oh you are that kid? >> most people don't remember it thank god there are very few people that remembered. alan-- the great writer from "saturday night live" and tons of great movies he was nice enough after its interview he took out his phone become and said here is rodsny dangerfield here's al fracken's home number. he was the greatest guy ever. thank you. >> jon: meanwhile those guys are like what the [bleep] did you do! >> why you bothering me kid. >> jon: all right. this is judd and i on the set of larry sanders right or was that at your -- >> that's my birthday during larry sanders. that was 17 years ago. we both look great. neither of us have gotten gray it's

>> jon: '97? point taken. >> and face it, jon.body gives a flying buck about who is actually on it. jon, who is on the 50. >> jon: easy president 50-ington. >> exactly. guys if you want to make a real stack at progress put women on preobsolete things. but of put eleanor roosevelt on apple pay or put olivia pope on bitcoin. >> jon: you would feel better about all this wouldn't you? >> at the end of the day i don't give a damn who is on the bill. what i do care about is getting an equal share of the bill. i would rather have 10 full hamilton dollars than 8.45 of lady bucks. >> jon: j ♪ music playing ♪ if you haven't heard about the latest sale at hotels.com by now ♪ music playing ♪ it's because you're willfully ignoring me. ♪ music playing ♪ book now and save during the fourth of july sale at hotels.com. ♪ ♪ if you want a paint that's tough enough to protect from the elements. if you want a paint flexible enough to survive the subtle cracking of time. if you want a paint that gives you a lifetime warranty... only this can. aura exte

>> jon, i know it's you!or the last time, please, stop calling me and yelling "penis" into the phone! stop it! it's weird! (laughter) >> jon: i have not been calling john oliver all day and shouting penis penis, penis! (laughter) for a while i was just texting eggplant emojis three of them. (laughter) people ask me all the time, what are you going to do when you leave the show? the n.s.a.' metadata collection isn't the only patriot act provision that turned into a pumpkin at midnight. >> the expired programs are the phone data program and wiretaps and the lone wolf provision which can track a suspect not tied to a terrorism investigation. >> jon: can we stop calling them lone wolves, please? they're deranged murderers. lone wolf makes them sound cool like, al quaida can't handle me, man! i'm an alpha dog! i don't need a pack! even though the patriot act expired it doesn't really seem like the country has pummeled into chaotic violence-based terrorocracy. >> icele and al quaida won't suddenly stop plotting aga

. >> jon: wow! (laughter) you know your surveillance program has gone too far when you cannot get permission from the patriot act! (laughter) that's like getting thrown out of an olive garden for eating too many bread sticks! we said unlimited, buddy, not infinity! look how genuinely upset and nauseous both minimum look! (laughter) are bread sticks that (bleep) big? (laughter) those look more like bread redwoods. those are big. it's like a bat. anyway, back to surveillance. according to the courts, the government does not have permission to vacuum up cell phone metadata like cell numbers call lines. they don't have the ability to do it! like eggplant used for the emoji of a pennies (laughter) penis. (laughter) i know. my penis is crowned by little green clover. i have the exact same thing on my penis and i was always ashamed until now. now i know i'm not alone. where did the court place the collection program's fate? well, they placed it in congress' wrinkly gold bond-scented hands. the patriot act

i'm jon stewart.y guest tonight we're very excited, we've got your jack of all trades, renaissance man nick offerman is going to be joining us! (cheers and applause) by the way, and i poll eyes i meant to ask you guys this yesterday, do you know what would really be great on "the daily show" when the camera swoops in if you just heard a sound like this -- (making sound) (cheers and applause) >> jon: 21-year-old trom donebone player in the audience no fallback position. (cheers and applause) by the way -- i meant to ask you guys this yesterday. what did you do over the weekend? did you have a good time? barbecue? maybe throw a humvee down american style try to put off the honey do list? while you were doing jack (bleep) these mother (bleep) were trying to save the world! >> they're discussing the fight against i.s.i.s. >> the siring debt crisis in greece. >> climate and energy issues. the future of sanctions against russia. >> jon: the leaders against the big seven -- america germany -- (laughter) (hum

i wish i was here. >> jon: no. it's interesting, when i watched the film you can't help but-- in some ways, the world has been somewhat unfair to you, in that it has placed a burden upon you that i think is-- that you are somehow an ethereal creature that must save us. and i think what's nice about the film is to see you as-- you say yourself as i'm an ordinary girl maybe representing thousands and thousands of ordinary girls whose courage is the same in pakistan and all over the world as they just strive for an education. is that how you feel about it? >> i think i have this opportunity to raise my voice, and i believe that it's not just-- i'm not just representing myself but i am speaking up for all girls who are deprived of education. there are about 66 million girls, and i think i'm speaking up for them. and sometimes people do things that it has been forced upon me or i haven't chosen this life, but the reality is i have chosen this life. and fiwouldn't have liked it, i could have said no and would have said i

jon? jon: scary stuff. peter doocy in washington. peter, thank you. we want to hear from you. how concerned are you about this massive government data breach? our live chat is up and running. go to foxnews.com/happeningnow. get your thoughts into the conversation. >> meanwhile the family of a terrorist suspect killed in boston said showed no signs of radicalization. members of an anti-terror task force shot usaama rahim tuesday authorities say he lunged at officers with a knife and refused to drop it. federal investigators say he and his nephew talked about beheading conservative activist pam geller before turning their sights on law enforcement. molly line as the story in boston. hi molly. >> reporter: hi jamie. the family of a rahim is holding private services and burial today. they are calling for a full and transparent investigation. family members spoke out yesterday detailing their surprise with this. they got a chance to watch the surveillance video of the conflict with police that

is "the daily show" with jon stewart! (cheers and applause) ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! i'm jon stewart! we are back baby and better than ever. my guest tonight a young fellow, senator rand paul running for president of these united states of america against, like, 35 other republicans! (laughter) and half of those are -- cuckoo! (laughter) but first, if you happen to be a phone data surveillance program -- well, my condolences to you. this is not your month. >> a federal circuit court ruled the controversial n.s.a. program is illegal thursday. >> the collection of bulk phone data at the n.s.a. exceeds what was authorized by congress and the patriot act. >> jon: wow! (laughter) you know your surveillance program has gone too far when you cannot get permission from the patriot act! (laughter) that's like getting thrown out of an olive garden for eating too many bread sticks! we said unlimited, buddy, not infinity! look how genuinely upset and nauseous both minimum look! (la

you can just be like hi, jon hi jon. >> what odd-- hi jon. >> what odd times square t-shirt shop dids is me,. >> this is a craft project. >> when you-- this is rock myself to sleep crying when you stop doing the show. i will be like-- you know i'm not going to have anything to do. if you want i will come to your house and do the show every night. i don't have a problem with that. >> yes for the love of god. >> in the news tonight i'll act out all the highlights. >> it will be-- . >> do you have a matching set. >> he's gonea. >> you're crafty. >> i like that, very much. it's very weird because i don't photograph well. and i try not to -- >> yes you do. >> there are so many ways to go. >> i know. >> i am-- it's the least i can do. >> settle down there. >> i'm the king of the unflattering freeze frame right? >> no. >> now i'm reading reviews for "spy" your reviews they're like on the comedic-ometers. >> sure you are like gandhi and dancing with wolves now this is like goodfellas this is incredible. >> i don't knows what happening. i'm really proud of it. but any time that's happening i'

my name is jon stewart. big show tonight my guest number 42 number 42 is on the program president bill clinton will be joining us a little bit later. but first i've got to tell you i hadded weirdest dream last night remember that guy from the reality show what was that show called,s with it-- ego maniac -- no no, its with called yeah that was it that's it. so in my dream the guy from that show the one without puts his name on everything the way a six-year-old might that guy announced he was entering the republican 2016 race for president. so in my incredibly unlickly dream this man then like descended down an escalator like a god going from theater 12 to theater 7 at the multiplex. anyway, in my dream he ended up saying a bunch of weird [bleep] about mexicans and then i woke up. i mean it's crazy right the whole thing. oh my god! oh my god! (cheers and applause) >> hair like fibers completely unnatural in color and texture. it was real! yup. it's all true. except for the stuff he said about mexicans. all rig