to mock herman cain. >> jon stewart tries to disguise his true liberal bias. >> jon stewart says he'sh liberal and he's fair. let's see how that's working out. >> jon: i guess everyone got the memo. [laughter] do you want to bring your whole network to the throwdown? you want to go channel 44 versus channel 45? obviously that's the channel configuration of time warner in the new york area, your local listings where comedy central and fox are would be more accurate. of course, hd is a completely different situation. my point is you don't think i have peeps? you don't think i roll deep? cc rolls deep, yo, yo, check this [bleeped] out. yeah, yeah, yeah. comedy central, get me krud mandoon. that's, mother... really? canceled? when was that canceled? he's our only guy with a sword, though? how am i going to... that show was like our "game of thrones." it was ahead of its time. all right, fine. i'll handle it myself. everybody at fox is real mad about this herman cain joke. candidate herman cain offers real solutions to fictional issues. >> don't try to pass a 2,700 page bill. you and i did

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday?

also cashing in the perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand tuxedos. all the elegance of a tuxedo but with the flattering physique. >> (cat yowling). >> jon: indeed. fray fry's decision brings the total number of states permitting gay marriage to 7. 41 other states still have laws on the books explicitly banning same sex marriage. it's why many gay activists are looking for federal action to achieve national marriage equality. last thursday barack obama addressed that very question. >> i have long believed that the so-called defense of marriage act ought to be repealed. >> jon: hear, hear, yeah! i assume the president's problem with the defense of marriage act is that it should be a federal law in support of gay marriage. >> part of the reason that doma doesn't make sense is that traditionally marriage has been decided by the states. (audience groaning). >> jon: really? the gentleman with mixed race parents playing the states no best card. you know, when i was born... ( cheers and applause ) when i was born my parents' marriage would have been illegal i

my name is jon stewart. welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. our guest is daniel radcliffe. the star of the new flick harry potter and the half billion dollars in worldwide weekend gross. so exciting tonight. i found out something scientifically i didn't know was possible. a canadian with breed with a german. did you know that? ( cheers and applause ) i don't even know how they fit them together. they've created a new species of canad-erman. you know what? no fooling around. our top story tonight, of course, the debt ceiling. our ongoing segment. that is in no way hyperbolic as america mes closer to laying out a blanket in front of our garage and selling off all our old board games it has become clear that time for action is short. >> theate president says he wants an agreement. >> president obama set a deadline. >> president obama now says it's decision time. >> jon: snap, commander in chief throwing down a deadline. on friday the president of the united states broke out his "i mean business" podium. >> we are obviously running out of time. so

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to the dail show. my name is jon stewart. our guest tonight, dr. cameron diaz. that will make sense later on in the program. you will see. she has graciously agreed to perform a surgical procedure on... [laughter] on tonight's program. a quick word before we get going to the tourist community, to the visitors to this great land of ours. if you've been here eight months, you live here. you live here. you're not from venezuela. [cheering and applause] donde esta you're mine. seven years of spanish, all i remember. [laughter] donde esta. let's begin tonight perhaps in america, the land of opportunity, where the streets are paved with let's say cinnabuns. [laughter] and yet we are nation besieged with problems, problems we must solve. problem number one, our gooey, rat-infested cinnabun-paved streets. why did we do that? that was a dopey material to pave our streets with. [laughter] we're g

last night by the way on "the daily show," jon stewart giving us his own take.ake a look. >> the whole day of testimony was amazing. but perhaps no moment more remarkable than murdoch interrupting his son's opening statement. >> of the newspaper -- >> before you get to that, i'd just like to say one sentence. this is the most humble day of my life. >> not so humble you couldn't wait for your turn to talk. by the way, that was before some idiot tried to pie murdoch. the young woman in pink whose lightning reflex and devastating chuck norrisesque hand speed subdues him. that woman is rupert murdoch's wife, wendy. now, i'm not a big proponent of the four decade marriage age gap. but if ever there was a situation where it would pay dividends, it would be an ambush like that. of course the attack occurred after a period of the testimony where murdoch may have appeared somewhat vulnerable. asleep. what? what happened? >>> still ahead, why are you awake? your texts, e-mails, coming up next. morning joe moments away. you know when something's bad -- but you do it anyway

my name is jon stewart. boom! we got a good one for you tonight. tonight's guest, dennis leary will be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) >> jon: monday denis leary, thursday sergeant first class leroy petry who is going to be receiving the medal of honor, one of the only living members of the military to receive it since the vietnam war, leary on monday, maeld of honor winner on thursday. it will be, the largest character gap we have ever had. (laughter) >> between guests. denis was wondering how i was going to get him today. anyway, took last week off. and had a great vacation. went away completely unplugged. no news, no tv, threw my cell phone in the ocean which caused some problems later but at the time felt pretty great. so let's plug back in, what i did miss? >> the president is worrying that we have just nine days to raise the debt ceiling or risk default. >> the numbers of jobs created last month, just 18,000, that's 100,000 fewer than expected. >> investigators say 80% of atlanta schools cheated on state standardized tests. >>

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2 catastrophic ultimatum we've already moved twice. (laughter) and so it was under these conditions that president barack obama interrupted a bachelorette's search for love... (laughter). ... to take that long walk down "we killed bin laden" lane. >> tonight i want to talk about the debate we've been having in washington over the national debt. >> jon: the debate we've been having? (laughter) is that what that

diana can still the sell magazines. >>> fox and jon stewart have been going for weeks. th liberal and fair. is he really? >> did jon stewart mock republican presidential candidate herman cane because he's a black man? >> he gets away with one sided attacks. are. >> jon stewart needs a lessen on truth telling. >> kerimen -- herman cain says that he was mocking him. >> i guess everyone got the memo. >> he did make fun of him in an an amos and andy voice i found unis thing but he did a lot of

jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next week when i, chuck assume, revishu schumer, i classic the star wars. in this film, a large asthmatic man dressed in black plastic cuts the arm off of a boy wearing pajamas with some type of a glow stick. and here's the part you won't believe. the man in the suit is the boy's father. >> pretty good summary. still ahead on "way too early," why are you awake? tweets, texts and e-mails are next. emily's just starting out... and on a budget. like a ramen noodle- every-night budget. she thought allstate car insurance was out of her reach. until she heard about the value plan. and saving money with allstate doesn't stop

. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that

jon stewart, here's jon stewart at the grammys or emmys or whatever they give for television.'t know because i'll never win one, but here he is with his writers. he's got 15 writers for this segment. i believe he's had as many as 40 writers. he uses these writers for six minutes of television and a total of 22 minutes a night. whoa. i want to bring in my writers, bring them all in because we have never seen them. can you bring them? bring them in. oh, here they are. dan and pat. hi, dan. hi, pat. see. its easy to speak from the heart. its easy to do things when you actually believe them. we've done it with a remarkably small and dedicated staff and remarkably large and dedicated audience and we thank you for that. >> glenn: my whole world has changed because of the time we spend together every day at 5:00, this is the last program. i want to show you little things that because we've met, things change. holding money. if i -- i wouldn't have said this two and a half years ago. i look at this one, ben franklin. abolitionists. willing to go looking crazy, go to his grave looking

, 2011 from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight author matthew richardson. he is author of a book about fannie mae and freddy imagine and -- freddie mac and why the two shu never have gotten married. republican michel bachmann has surged above president obama. the key to the success progrowth agenda, adherence to the founding fathers principles and something special. >> analysts say her uncompromising views on homosexuality are one of big reasons she's gaining traction in iowa. >> jon: what? why would iowans be so concerned about what happens three inches below the corn belt? [laughter] since the iowa supreme court legalized same-sex marriage in 2009 they've noticed real changes in the state's cash crop! [laughter] yes, their worst fears corn destroyed by a (bleep) playing. [laughter] a -- (bleep) plague. movie about iowa f

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." boom. got a good one for you tonight. we got a good one for you tonight. i is jon stewart. our guest tonight, focus, boy, focus, our guest tonight steve carell for... [laughter] anyway, i look forward to meeting the young man. our top story, of course, tonight, once again, the continuing revelation in the british tabloid "news of the world" scandal. as you may recall, yesterday news corp owner montgomery burns was called before parliament for a dramatic three-hour testimony so intense the media mogul managed to stay awake. [laughter] he managed to stay awake for nearly all of it. >> this is the most humble day of my life. >> jon: 'tis true. for nearly 80 years rupert murdoch has had, for lack of a better term, the "run of the planet." dominion over all that he surveys. but yesterday, july 19, in the year of our murdoch 2011, was the day that the aussie iconoclast had to accept t

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. we have put together a program for you tonight that i think will delight and entertain. my guest rachel weisz here to talk about her new film. [cheering and applause] her new film is called "the whistleblower." it's about a young girl who finds a whistle. [laughter] i don't want to give away the rest. [laughter] she blows the whistle. she ultimately blows the whistle. but let's begin tonight in norway. obviously what norway's going through right now is just awful. people are upset, angry, outraged, although some people's upset, anger and outrage, at least in this country, extends into areas that may surprise you. >> why is the liberal press playing up the christian angle in the norway shooting case? >> the mainstream media was quick to portray the suspect as a christian extremist. >> they lay down this narr

. >>> and jon stewart has to bring in an expert to help him pray the gay jokes away. naturals from purina cat chow. delicious, real ingredients with no artificial flavors or preservatives. naturals from purina cat chow. share a better life. [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brushing their teeth. so how did only one get gingivitis? well, one in two people do. so i told karen about new crest pro-health clinical gum protection toothpaste. it helps eliminate plaque at the gumline, helping prevent gingivitis. it's even clinically proven to help reverse it in just 4 weeks. and it protects these other areas dentists check most. looks like the twins are even again. new crest pro-health clinical toothpaste. life opens up when you do. >>> so the whitey bulger case is a federal case. so there's one guy who is hoping for a federal government shutdown so they can't bring him to trial and the prosecutors don't get paid. >>> still to come tonight, senator ted kennedy's campaign team from 1994 found a way to stop mitt romney co

28th, 2011,from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the house urged republicans to unite behind boehner's plan by showing this clip from the movie "the town" >> the town? (laughter) "the town", no rudy-- "rudy" "brian song" or "300" or "rocky" or "rocky 2" or "rocky 3" or really any of the "rockies" you went with the boston bank rubbers in nun costumes clip. >> well, there is going to be good. (laughter) let's see the clip-- (cheers and applause) >> that the republ

from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [cheering and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. [cheering and applause] our guest tonight, a young man named scott miller. he is the author of a new book on william mckinley's ass. [laughter] i'm going to assume that is "assassination." you got to stop abbreviationing around here, not to say that william mckinley did not have a noteworthy rear end. folks, we are a mere 15 and a half months away from what will definitely be called the most important election of our lifetime. an inveritable herd of republican candidates have already begun the treacherous migratory journey to become their party's nominee. they will need strength. they will need agility. they will need luck. but mostly to survive they will need money, [bleeped] boatloads of money. >> we have the numbers behind you. mitt romney $18.4 million. pawlenty $4.4 million. bachmann the same. huntsman $4.2 million. herman cain raised $2