in the rewrite tonight remember when jon stewart went on a cnn show just to say how bad that show was? we have a perfect reply good excuse to show you that video again tonight. that's coming up. ask me what it's like when my tempur-pedic moves. why not talk to someone who owns an adjustable version of the most highly recommended bed in america? ask me about my tempur advanced ergo. goes up. goes up. ask me what it's like to get a massage anytime you want. goes down. goes down. [ male announcer ] tempur-pedic brand owners are more satisfied than owners of any traditional mattress brand. ergonomics. [ male announcer ] tempur-pedic. the most highly recommended bed in america. to learn more or to find an authorized retailer near you, visit tempurpedic.com. >>> remember when jon stewart went on crossfire to hear how much he hated crossfire, a left/right argument show on cable news. he couldn't stand it. not long after he went on crossfire to say how much he hated it, crossfire was canceled and that kind of tv is not really what's happening on cable news anymore in this country. in some cou

now, were you invited to chat with jon stewart or to be in a field piece? tavis: that is good question. i am not sure. i think it was a chat with jon. i am not sure about that. >> because in that context, you are safe. jon is a bright guy and a respectful guy and obviously a brilliant comedian, and he is a very genuinely intellectlly curious person, so he is subjects. i love to watch him interview. i think he is one of the greatest out there. but the field pieces, which is what i did, those i cannot in good conscience encourage anyone -- [laughter] to ever agree to do, and i apologize to my buddies who still work at "the daily show." it is an inherently manipulative process, and people agree to be in those segments, thinking that they get it, that they understand the way we operate, and they are not going to be a victim to it. it is impossible for you to sit down for a field piece interview and win. tavis: yes. [laughter] >> because we leave with all the footage and we control the presentation. tavis: that is right. >> we control how the audience sees it. th

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central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ). ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. you're in for a treat tonight. joining me on this stage, both zach galfianakis and will ferrell. ( cheers and applause ) very exciting. not the comedians. the nobel prize-winning economists of the same name. quite a coincidence. very exciting. but anyway, before we get going, girls, i've got some bad news. >> north korean leader kim jong un is a married man. ( laughter ) >> jon: that's right, ladies! you're favorite man-child with a walk-in closet full of mao work shirts -- size husky-- you missed your chance unless he decrees that he remember take more than one bride. look, how did he meet the lucky lady? i assume k-date, but... ( laughter ) >> little is known about the so-called mystery woman. they did not confirm the identity of his wife. >> literally, all we know is that he's married. >> jon: it's so frustrating! i get keeping your nuclear tests sec

this is dale dale with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we have a program for you tonight. we're going to have a visit from our good friend and noted author steve carell. (cheers and applause) but first, breaking news. it is so (bleep)ing hot today. (laughter) i don't have a followup to that. (laughter) breaking news concerning the ongoing investigation into the administration's fast and furious program which from 2009 to 2011 sold american guns to mexican drug lords so that the drug lords... could... shoot... people? or perhaps accidentally themselves? the white house was on a high after cash for clunkers and this program might have just gotten away from them, i don't know. (laughter) the house oversight committee has been investigating the debacle but attorney general eric holder has refused to turn over some 80,000 documents that chairman darrell issa has demanded siting as grounds that they n

my name is jon stewart.litz, author of the new book "the price of inequality," which is also the worst game show ever. ( laughter ) let's begin tonight with our election coverage. democalypse 2012. do we look stupid? don't answer that, edition. we touched on this a little bit last night. there's an old saying in washington a gap is when a politician accidentally tells the truth. recently, president barack obama made a new type of gaffe when he told the truth on purpose. >> if you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. there was a great teacher somewhere in your life. somebody helped to create this unbelievable american system that we have that allowed to you thrive. somebody invested in roads and bridges. >> jon: argument made in apparently a comedy club of hecklers, that your success also owes some debt to the system and infrastructure created to support your endeavor. and that's the debt that it owes is what we call taxes. that's supposed to go back into the system. pretty unremarkabl

16th, 2012, from comedy central's world news head quarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) hey, everybody, welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we're back, baby, two weeks. our guest tonight, the great louis c.k. will be joining us. (cheers and applause) louis, ck of course-- (laughter) louis calvin klein. (laughter) changed had for show business. look, i can't give you a recap of all the [bleep] that happened, over the past, every major story. but i can tell you-- in what can only be called a bit of devein intervention, the hot political moment of mitt romney venture capital which happened to bear the same fame as the post frightening and current batman villain. (laughter) it's the subject of tonight's democalypse 2012 thank you jesus edition. (laughter) bain! not since aid-- diet candy suffered through their somewhat ill timed 19880 lose weight with aids sales campaign has a brand faced such challenges. bain! >> corporations are people, my friend. (la

my name is jon stewart. we've got a good show. tonight, very exciting, andrew garfield, 20th president of the united states. and he looks amazing. listen, if you watched the show for the past couple of weeks you know i've talked a bit about governor cuomo in new york his plans to decriminalize small amounts of marijuana. you would be permitted to carry up to 25 grams for personal use without getting arrested. to remind you, 25 grams is is-- it's snuff to fill this. it's enough to fill this-- i think we must have mice here because it was up to here, and there were, like, five bags of doritos around here. ( laughter ). and they're all-- that's fine. never mind, just to show you. let me just get that. so it's-- by the way, i don't know if you can tell, this is labeled so that i know. ( laughter ). anyway, so i just want to refill it up to show you what would be legal, you know. >> governor cuomo today confirming his proposal to decriminalize small amountof marijuana is dead. so it went up in smoke following opposition in the republic

16th, 2012, from comedy central's world news head quarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewartd applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) hey, everybody, welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we're back, baby, two weeks. our guest tonight, the great louis c.k. will be joining us. (cheers and applause) louis, ck of course-- (laughter) louis calvin klein. (laughter) changed had for show business. look, i can't give you a recap of all the [bleep] that happened, over the past, every major story. but i can tell you-- in what can only be called a bit of devein intervention, the hot political moment of mitt romney venture capital which happened to bear the same fame as the post frightening and current batman villain. (laughter) it's the subject of tonight's democalypse 2012 thank you jesus edition. (laughter) bain! not since aid-- diet candy suffered through their somewhat ill timed 19880 lose weight with aids sales campaign has a brand faced such challenges. bain! >> corporations are people, my friend. (laughter) now

treats the staff. >> right, here is jon stewart in 2000. ry king had his show at night. here's what he asked jon and here's how he answered. >> most people can't hide their political views. >> i think you're a democrat, jon. >> i think that's probably correct. i'd say i'm more of a socialist or independent. yeah, no one would ever, i think, watching our show think that guy is leaning so far -- >> but you would knock the democrats. >> oh, sure. >> so i mean, that's where he leans but he also has a series of investments, too, he's on route, according to your stats to making more than mitt romney by the time he's 65. being worth over $300 million as opposed to romney's $250 . >> he would be more than mitt romney. the most interesting point is stewart rails against income inequality and how c.e.o.'s on wall street make 300 times the average worker. the same thing with stewart. stewart makes 300 times the median household american income. if he was really, really concerned about this problem, he could take his estimated $15 million in salary and

my name is jon stewart. we've got a good show. our guest tonight, very exciting, andrew garfield, 20th president of the united states. and he looks amazing. listen, if you watched the show for the past couple of weeks you know i've talked a bit about governor cuomo in new york his plans to decriminalize small amounts of marijuana. you would be permitted to carry up to 25 grams for personal use without getting arrested. to remind you, 25 grams is is-- it's snuff to fill this. it's enough to fill this-- i think we must have mice here because it was up to here, and there were, like, five bags of doritos around here. ( laughter ). and they're all-- that's fine. never mind, just to show you. let me just get that. so it's-- by the way, i don't know if you can tell, this is labeled so that i know. ( laughter ). anyway, so i just want to refill it up to show you what would be legal, you know. >> governor cuomo today confirming his proposal to decriminalize small amountof marijuana is dead. so it went up in smoke following opposition in th

. >>> plus, jon stewart returns from a midsummer's break loaded forbear. going after mitt romney and the mysterious tax returns. we'll have that clip a little later in the show. first, let's get to the news live at 5:30 a.m. here's 30 rock in new york city. former vice president dick cheney returns to washington today to meet with top house republicans about how to deal with the two-part challenge facing the economy at the end of year. the expiring bush tax cuts and those deep automatic spending cuts. democrats took a hard line yesterday suggesting they are prepared to go over the so-called fiscal cliff and allow those cuts in taxes to take effect if republicans continue to balk at raising taxes on the nation's wealthiest households. >> if we can't get a good deal, a balanced deal that calls on the wealthy to pay their fair share, then i will absolutely continue this debate into 2013 rather than lock in a long-term deal this year that throws middle class families under the bus. >> there was some tough talk from vice president joe biden at the white house y

organizers assure jon stewart that everything will run smoothly. it has so far for us.nt to sound smart today, tell your friends london last hosted the olympics in 1948. the only city to host the modern games of three olympiads, the first in 1908. 1948 games took place in a city still ravaged by world war ii. they br known as the austerity games because of the frugal approach london organizers were forced to take amid post-war rationing. athletes were housed in old air force barracks and the financial climate was so dire that to save money, athletes had to return home immediately after they completed their events. members of the finland's team resorted to scalping tickets outside the stadium to scare up cash. teams encouraged to bring their own food. axis powers germany and japan were not invited and the soviet union boycotted. public support for the 1948 games a bit lackluster among londoners but once they began, there were lines around the block to get into wembley stadium and see the world's best compete. they'll be back in the stadium behind me two nights from now.

and later jon stewart offers a passionate defense of the boss after london officials cut the mikes of springsteen and sir paul mccartney, if you can believe it, during concert at hyde park. that story and a check on weather when "way too early" comes right back. >> mary jo kopechne, a passenger in the senator's automobile was drowned early saturday morning when he drove the car off a bridge and overturned in a pond. police say kennedy reported the accident about nine hours later. [ buzz ] off to work! did you know honey nut cheerios is america's favorite cereal? oh, you're good! hey, did you know that honey nut cheerios is... oh you too! ooh, hey america's favorite cereal is... honey nut cheerios ok then off to iceland! the global ready one ? yeah, but you won't need... ♪ hajimemashite. hajimemashite. hajimemashite. you guys like football ? thank you so much. i'm stoked. you stoked ? totally. ... and he says, "under the mattress." souse le matelas. ( laughter ) why's the new guy sending me emails from paris ? paris, france ? verizon's 4g lte devices are global-ready. plus, global data

jon stewart -- >> jon stewart was asked all the time when george bush leaves, aren't you going to haveal? that never happened. >> no. >> you have something to say about sarah palin an the convention. >> yeah. this is a personal cause. i hate it when people get out there and discuss their personal causes, which is not the new yorker's. let me say there is this business where republicans are not going to invite sarah palin to the convention. speaking as a comedian, i think that's unforgivable. i think we comedians lost so many people in the last year from donald trump to herman cain, rick perry. i wanted to raise some money. i'd like to give her a party a million dollars to invite sarah palin to the convention. >> andy, you have had the last word. the good news for us, is jeff daniels is alive and well in the green room.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, >> good morning, 8:25 a.m., did you call up with bay area headlines. san jose city officials are expected to remove about two dozen homeless people from kelley park. neighbors have complained about recent break-ins and some suspicious fires there as well.

you will be captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewartit's going to be very nice. tenacious d will rock you tonight. (cheers and applause) >> jon: it's going to be incredible. but of course, the main story tonight, the supreme court's rule on the affordable care act, aka obamacare. yes, this morning all americans, indeed, all citizens of the world gathered together to see what our nation's highest court would say without con seb difficults rule the day or liberals reign granting the government power to keep old people alive artificially so that we may harvest their organs. (laughter) that is exactly the question the courts faced. and then suddenly, at the exact time we had been told the day before the decision would be handed down, pandemonium! >> this is cnn's breaking news. >> jon: the race was on. which news organization would be the first to speak of the great decision. who would emerge from the chaos as today's grand champion of news firstiness! >> i want to bringing you the break nugs that according to procedure bill meers the indiv

my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. our guest tonight, new york giants wide receiver victor cruz. cruise-sanity whether... yeah, it doesn't really work, does it? (laughter) i'm just grasping at straws. that's actually steve martin, that's not really... (laughter) that's west virginia. i think he just labeled it egypt. thank you. that's... as you know, egypt has recently held its first free presidential election since... (laughter) ... the invention of lang language. (laughter) the winner, the muslim brotherhood's mohammed morsesy. that's morrissey. (laughter) that's morris is cat. (laughter) that's conrad bane and you've just labeled him mode med morsi. thank you. so anyway, our intrepid secretary of state sir edmund hillary dennis rom ham clinton went to pay her ropts to their newly elected president and... >> on sunday secretary clinton's motorcade was pelted with tomatoes and shoes as she left the newly reopened u.s. consulate. (laughter) what? what is going on, egypt? you're mad at us when we prop up your dictator f

. >> in arlington, jon stewart is watching. the power crews have been a lead his neighborhood for two days and nothing. >> they have told us that they might have power to it. >> he thinks it may be another sweltering night of sleep. now, some people in in this neighborhood have gone to a hotel. you can see the power crews out here working. dominion powers says they hope to have 90%-95% on line by thursday. pepco hopes to have a 90% back online by friday. many of her hope they do not have to wait that long. brianne carter, abc 7 news. >> in addition to visiting montgomery county, the governor stopped by an emergency shelter. he met with baker and was updated on storm damage and recovery efforts. the governor declared a state of emergency in maryland yesterday. >> off nearly 48 hours after people lost power. the threat of carbon monoxide poisoning due to generators. fire officials confirm half a dozen incident from maryland to d.c. and one incident sent some children to the hospital. we continue our storm watch covered live from

my name is jon stewart. guest tonight, the great matthew mcconaughey -- [cheers and applause] -- is going to be joining us. we're going to sit right here together, two men, one shirt. [ laughter ] settle down, the shirtless one is not the one you think it will be. [ laughter ] it's been so hot today. mmmm -- exciting for the show because for the first time since our show was taken off the air in the uk18 months ago, the uk can finally watch us every night again. that's right. we're back, baby. ba, ba, boom! it will be a right jolly rogering it will be. [ laughter ] in case our british viewers have been wondering what they may have missed there was the incredibly understated news of the world scandal coverage, our in no way derogatory look at your queen's rain soaked birthday flotilla and the respectful coverage of your royal wedding. ♪ oh, yeah, hitler is hiding in there ♪ [ laughter ] [cheers and applause] hold on. sorry. i'm being told we're no longer on the air in the united kingdom. i forgotten paddingto

( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to "the daily show," my name is jon stewart! we've got an excellent... we have an excellent episode following, obviously, what was a wonderful encounter session with the audience. (laughter) where i thought we learned a lot about each other. (laughter) my guest to want the great sigourney weaver, the show "political animals." she plays a neo-con pan sda. (laughter) no? that's... that's not the show. you have to advocate mitt that'd be a pretty (bleep)ing show. neo-con pandas. tonight we start with our current economic woes. we all know where to place the blame for our woes. >> more regulation will strangle the private sector. >> states are going bust and cities are going bust. they're in dire financial shape because of public sector unions. >> the uncertainty facing small businesses are crippling job creation in our country. >> jon: got it! (laughter) too much regulation, gledy public sector union pensions. uncertainty. (laughter) the stallion of the free market cannot run wild while saddled with these progressive sacred cows f

my name is jon stewart.ve a very nice show, tonight's guest ej dionne, his new book our divided political heart, the followup to his previous best-seller, our swollen political prostate. (laughter) i'm sitting on it right now. if you saw the show yesterday you know we talked about a scandal that had something to do with libor, the word doesn't really shed any light on that, does it. but it's the all-important interbank lending rate which, funny story, turned out major financial institutions have been colluding to rig. it's really quite-- it was a fascinating object lesson in financial-- (laughter) oh, if only there were a new preferably simpler banking scandal towards which to turn our ire. >> a money laundering scandal involving one of the world's largest banks, hsbc. >> jon: wow! money laundering!, now there's a bank scandal everybody can understand. except a media badelia, oh, amelia, that's not money laundering. you-- (laughter) but my point is this, while there are some very difficult to understand comp

my name is jon stewart. what a show tonight. my guest tonight, fareed zakaria making his 400th appearance. (cheers and applause) (laughter) first, obviously, everybody is still stunned after the terrible shootings friday. are we ever going to get a handle on how to prevent these types of tragedies? i... it's a very complex issue, obviously. an intersection of the mental health system, cultural influences, the balance between individual freedoms and public safety. the viability of guns. >> i think now really is not the time to have a big national conversation about guns. (laughter) >> jon: the... it's a factor. i mean... i mean, it's a factor along with other factors. obviously it's a complex ecosystem. owning a gun is a right protected under the constitution and that's... you know, i agree with that. i mean, i don't have to agree with that, it's right there. but we can't have tanks. (laughter) so we... if we draw lines on weaponry, obviously, the question is have we drawn them right? >> this is not the time to have the discussio