stephen colbert and jon stewart are here.[ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] house party. ♪ [ female announcer ] go-to... [ male announcer ] temptation. [ female announcer ] i'll have the yellow tail, i'll have the yellow tail. ♪ go-to... [ male announcer ] joker's wild. [ female announcer ] i just love that moscato. go-to... [ male announcer ] girl's night in. [ female announcer ] never the wrong time, for the right wine. [ male announcer ] yellow tail. the go-to. >> jimmy: we're back with -- >> hey, everybody. stephen colbert. >> jon stewart. >> jimmy: the avett brothers are still to come. now, we know you guys are -- you're a tandem on the air, partners. off the air, are you friends, do you have things in common? do you hang out together? what goes on with you? >> we hang out, phone calls, mostly late night stuff. it's -- >> i'll text jon at 1:00 a.m., i'll go, "you up?" >> and this is kind of our thing, i go, "you know i am." >> i think we're both products of isolated childhoods. >> nice to have another, like

jon stewart was. this is the guy you want, not me! (cheers and applause) >> jon: you son of a pitch! you're not pinning this on me, brother. >> stephen: i'm not take the fall, jon. you had control of the super pac. >> jon: for a week! >> stephen: you bought a zeppelin. >> it's a very important meetings downwind. i was just following your orders! >> stephen: in a noncoordinated way. >> jon: yes, of course, noncoordinated, completely. >> stephen: well now they're going to kill one of us, jon. >> jon: they want a head on a platter! >> stephen: wait. a head on a platter? (laughter) then let's give them-- . >> jon: the ham. >> stephen: yes. ham rove. (cheers and applause) the trusted and salted advisor. >> jon: what are you waiting for, kill him! >> stephen: why don't you do it? >> jon: i can't do it, it's not kosher. (laughter) (applause) >> stephen: fine, fine. i'm sorry, ham rove. one of us is dead meat and you already are. gah, gah, gah! gah, gah! gah! >> jon: i was never here! (cheers and applause) oh, these hands, oh these hands are c

did you miss that jon stewart?l american voters generally want a smaller government in washington. more local control. some oversight on abortion and believe in american exceptionism. the majority of those who voted for president obama want a large government that spends heavily on entitlements because that reduces so-called income inequality. they want quality for gays in the marriage arena. they want unfettered abortion with no parental notification for minors. they want a one world foreign policy they gives other nations equal status to america. here's a bullet at this point to those pinheads at comedy central, those are not traditional positions. are we clear about this? mr. stewart wasn't finished. >> bill, fox, boobulahs. you don't need to worry so much. what you are demonstrating is the health and i have tattle of america's vitality of america's that dils condition ruling class of rise of religiously diverse new class one that will destroy all that is virtuous and good and bring the american experiment crash

applause ) >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewartedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. man n-we have a good show for you tonight. last night eye don't know if you knew this-- we had an election and tonight on this program, the winner of that election, the president of the u.s.a., the united states of arithmetic, nate silver will be joining us ( cheers and applause ) it was a big

www.vitac.com from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one for you tonight. my guest mike huckabee of the fox news program huckabee will be on the program. he's clearly landed in the right place for himself in terms of hosting. i just want to tell you very quickly, hurricane sandy relief efforts still slowly but surely advancing. the red cross, fema companies doing a nice job except obviously the power company in long island. [bleep]. it would be a shame if you lost power. but here is the thing about the conditions. it's much worse than you probably understand even from the vivid and horrific nature of the images you've seen. the destruction and devastation. the crazy part some of the hardest hit area are places heavily populated with our first responders. firefighters, police, sanitation, e.m.t.s, all live very heavily in these areas. people we rely on when we are in trouble. the dedication of rescue workers, volunteers has been phenomenal but there's still huge n

access.wgbh.org >> from comedy central world news headquarters in new york this is the daily show with jon stewart my name is jon stewart. oh, our guest tonight, a good one, tv journalist, co-founder the bob woodruff foundation, bob woodruff, he'll be joining us. now obviously new york still reeling from the affects of the superstorm this whole region. things are getting back to normal in small measures. this morning, in fact, crazy person was outside my window yelling we're all going to die! and it was mayor bloomberg was-- it was him. (laughter) and he wasn't talking about

>> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ). captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the "daily show." my name is jon stewart. man n-we have a good show for you tonight. last night eye don't know if you knew this-- we had an election and tonight on this program, the winner of that election, the president of the u.s.a., the united states of arithmetic, nate silver will be joining us ( cheers and applause ) it was a big night last night. the big news, of course, president barack obama not just re-elected but seemingly given fresh batteries. >> we remain more than a collection of red states and blue states. ry are and forever will be the united states of america. and together, with your help, and god's grace, we will continue our journey forward. ( laughter ). >> jon: so that's all it took for to you get back in the groove was the fact that you never have to run for president again? ( laughter ) that's all it took? ( cheers and applause ) of course, on the other side, governor mitt romney

comedy central's world news headquarters in new york are ar are, this is the "daily show" with jon stewart. captioning sponsored by comedy central ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the ""daily show"." my name is jon stewart. i have a good divest tonight. the most delightful laugh in television to my mind, judge andrew napolitano will be joining us right over here. first, i want to let you people know i am a jew who is in to politics. ( cheers and applause ). been doing the show 15 years now. ( laughter ) speaking of which, ooh, i think we have a new middle east war brewing out there. that's late-breaking news. we'll have to deal with that when we get back. what's better than a middle east war. let's begin one more from the "where are they now?." you may remember mitt romney made a rather infamous statement that 47% of the country would not vote for him because they saw himself as victims, entitled-- housing, health care, from the government. as it turns out, much to his disappointment, barack obama was able to pick up four more percent of real america giving him the victory. of co

applause) from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: hey, welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. our guest journalist martha raddatz will be here, moderator and the winner of this year's vice presidential debate. a very rough weekend in the tri-state area. i'm sure by now you've all seen pictures of the damage. here's something you might want to look at. these are marathon runners who channeled their disappointment in the cancellation of the marathon into volunteering to help storm clean-up. ( cheers and applause ) it was very, very moving. it's enough to make you not that annoyed by marathon runners. not quite. obviously all donations still greatly appreciated. the sandy relief fund dot-org. your i-tunes dot-com slash red cross. you have your united way nyc dot-organ the salvation army usa dot-org. we'll give you the websites for the giant nor'easter coming on wednesday. somehow we have annoyed god. we'll begin tonigh

york this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. oh, our guest tonight, a good one, tv journalist, co-founder the bob woodruff foundation, bob woodruff, he'll be joining us. now obviously new york still reeling from the affects of the superstorm this whole region. things are getting back to normal in small measures. this morning, in fact, crazy person was outside my window yelling we're all going to die! and it was mayor bloomberg was-- it was him. (laughter) and he wasn't talking about the storm. he was talking about transfats. (laughter) but so everything seems to be coming around. (laughter) i'm actually so proud of this area. still very thankful to be in soggy portion we areless new york. because, and this is true, you have to keep perspective n someplaces in this country, it's even worse. >> the candidates are spending so much time here it's as if they are running

access.wgbh.org stephen: that' >> from comedy cd news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme music playing] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we're going to have a nice one for you tonight. from "the new york times" 538 block, statistician all-star nate silver will be joining us on the show. [cheering and applause] and then tomorrow night it's president barack obama. but still... [laughter] these people get to... [cheering and applause] nate silver, the president of statistician-stan. as you know, last night the presidential cam pan headed to hofstra university where the candidates debated from a diverse crowd hard of long islanders ranging from italian guys to other italian guys to a jewish guy and his mom. [laughter] such diversity in long island. the first question somehow ended up on the auto industry rescue. >> i know you keep saying, you want to take detroit bankrupt. well, the president took detroit bankrupt. you took general motors bankrupt. you took chrysler bankrupt. that was pre-sizely what

jon stewart's a very funny man, but what is doing on there?laughter] >> come on, megyn, he impregnated beyonce, but i know a lot of guys -- megyn: i think you mean jay-z now, we're off of jon stewart, aren't we? [laughter] >> jay-z, let's not start a new rumor, his wife, beyonce. sandra fluke started a conversation that had really, in a sense, been put back in the closet in america, and that's regarding women's reproductive rights, where tax dollars should and shouldn't go, and she also did this putting herself out there as a target, as we know, for right-wing talk show hosts etc. and that, i feel she did make a contribution to society -- >> oh, come on. >> -- within women's rights. we see how many women voted, she made a contribution, and i think women came together both left and right. do you think she should win? no. i do think -- megyn: many women actually felt that sandra fluke was not representative of what -- >> no! megyn: -- you know, what women value and how they feel about society, and, you know, there was a tone in a lot of her rema

we wanted to get jon stewart's thoughts on florida. >> perhaps the best news was in florida. after months of republican governor rick scott attempting to suppress democratic voter turnout, at reducing early voting days and introducing a ten-page novel estate ballot to people couldn't handle a one-page butterfly ballot, florida is too close to call. here is the good news, the election was decided without them. [ cheers and applause ] >> for once florida's cluster [ bleep ] is irrelevant. >>> still ahead on "way too early." why are you awake? your texts, tweets and e-mails are next on "way too early." orr had to cost a fortune. nobody said an all-in-one had to be bulky. or that you had to print from your desk. at least, nobody said it to us. introducing the business smart inkjet all-in-one series from brother. easy to use, it's the ultimate combination of speed, small size, and low-cost printing. progresso. in what world do potatoes, bacon and cheese add up to 100 calories? your world. ♪ [ whispers ] real bacon... creamy cheese... 100 calories... [ chef ] ma'am [ male announcer

highlights next in sports and jon stewart takes on the romney gift remarks showing off fake swag for voting obama. that and a check on weather when "way too early" comes back. >> it's a mandate for freedom, for dignity, for quality, for hope for entering the 21st century with technology and science. so you say men are superior drivers? yeah. then how'd i get this... [ voice of dennis ] ...safe driving bonus check? every six months without an accident, allstate sends a check. ok. [ voice of dennis ] silence. are you in good hands? [ female announcer ] he could be the one. soulmate. husband. loving father to your children. but first you've got to get him to say, "hello." new crest 3d white arctic fresh toothpaste. use it with these 3d white products, and whiten your teeth in just 2 days. what will a 3d white smile do for you? new crest 3d white toothpaste. life opens up when you do. this reduced sodium soup says it may help lower cholesterol, how does it work? you just have to eat it as part of your heart healthy diet. step 1. eat the soup. all those veggies and beans, that's what may

. >> on october 1, president obama sat down with late night daily show host jon stewart. mr. stewart questioned the president, about the event at the u.s. consulate in benghazi libya on september 11, when four americans were killed, including ambassador christopher stevens. >> other people were -- >> the truth is, information comes in, folks put it out thought the process, people say it's still incomplete. what i was up clear is we're going to do an investigation and figure out what happened. >> as part of the investigation, is it helping the communication between the divisions of, not just what happened in benghazi, but what happened within? i don't know, i would say even you would admit, it was not the optimal response, at least to the american people as far as us being on the same page. >> here's what i'll say. >> yeah. >> if four americans get killed, it's not optimal. >> right. >> and we're going to fix it. and -- >> all of it? >> all of it. and what happens during the course of the presidency is that the government is a big operation, at any given time, something screws

highlights next in sports and jon stewart takes on the romney gift remarks showing off fake swag for voting obama. that and a check on weather when "way too early" comes back. >> it's a mandate for freedom, for dignity, for quality, for hope for entering the 21st century with technology and science. so you say men are superior drivers? yeah. then how'd i get this... [ voice of dennis ] ...safe driving bonus check? every six months without an accident, allstate sends a check. ok. [ voice of dennis ] silence. are you in good hands? [ female announcer ] he could be the one. soulmate. husband. loving father to your children. but first you've got to get him to say, "hello." new crest 3d white arctic fresh toothpaste. use it with these 3d white products, and whiten your teeth in just 2 days. what will a 3d white smile do for you? new crest 3d white toothpaste. life opens up when you do. this reduced sodium soup says it may help lower cholesterol, how does it work? you just have to eat it as part of your heart healthy diet. step 1. eat the soup. all those veggies and beans, that's what may

my name is jon stewart. my guest one william james bill o'reilly will be discussing his book killing kennedy which i can only assume is a confession. let's get right to, it. we know this is a deeply divided nation, until last night when something brought all americans together in agreement. >> president obama took a shell acting. >> he was not properly prepared for this. >> the president didn't bring his a game. >> he was just so dull. >> he looked tired to me. >> romney won hands down. >> he was very, very bad last night. >> jon: there is no red america there is no blue america there is only the america that can't believe how bad this guy did in the debate. how bad was the defeat o bama lost despite mitt romney doing this. >> i'm sorry, i will stop the sub sid to pgs. i like big board, i like few, but i'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from china to pay for it. >> jon: mother [bleep] fired big board. america's favorite nonfried bird. he fired big board and won. beloved childre

my name is jon stewart. good show today. fabulous author jon meacham.s written a biography of jefferson. cher monohelmsley. (laughter). (laughter) hooray me! last night we had on the program jason sudeikis from s.n.l . a tremendous, very, very funny man, plays mitt romney and joe biden on the show and he was making a joke on the

my name is jon stewart. good show today. fabulous author jon meacham. he's written a biography of jefferson. cher monohelmsley. (laughter). (laughter) hooray me! last night we had on the program jason sudeikis from s.n.l . a tremendous, very, very funny man, plays mitt romney and joe biden on the show and he was making a joke on the show about how wouldn't it be funny if in this election it turned out that romney and biden had both won and ended up as president and vice president, wouldn't that have been funny and i said, oh, i don't think that could happen, jason. as a man who knows a lot about like -- and he's like "well, i thought that was the scenario. well, it turns out that could happen! he was referring to a scenario which i found out later where if the electoral college was tied the president would have gotten kicked to the house of representatives where they might have picked mitt romney, the senate would have picked the vice president, they would have picked joe biden and that's how it would have happened. once again there's -- one of the thin

my name is jon stewart. than exciting night here. this is the night the americans in the millions conduct some kind of real time poll. the results of which i'm sure will be contested the next day. we have some preliminary results. pennsylvania which as you know is a great state named after the great pendulum has gone most supporting barack obama. [crowd cheering] >> jon: the electoral vote. obviously that was a state that mitt romney at the very end made a play for, but the amish don't play that. good news from mitt romney he has won tonight making announcements right now most of the confederacy. he's the winner there. a lot of the electoral votes. michigan, 15 electoral votes it's mitt romney's, one of mitt romney's home states. most presings reporting, we're going to call that for barack obama. [crowd cheering] it's a shame that that car pulled out right by that. we've got an interesting senate race to report. there's a lot of attention on this race in massachusetts. there was a yuk ma young man nad scott brown versus a gentlewoman