." >>> jon stewart will use his summer vacation to become a hollywood director. >>> jon stewart is steppinghe daily show, not for every but four months while he goes overseas to direct a feature film. >> marissa guthrie, how did jon stewart get so engulfed in the american culture that this makes the msnbc nightly news. >> what's so funny is people who are regular watchers of "the daily show" know jon's history with bill o'reilly. you see that underneath that commentary. poor john oliver. he's wonderful. you can never fill those shoes and he doesn't have the background that jon has. >> you're referring to john who will be filling in for jon stewart. gail shister, i have a feeling some things will happen and people who would get a pass will be mocked because stewart is not there. >> i have three words for jon stewart, all about eve. he shouldn't turn his back too long on john oliver. we know what happened with steven colbert. they have the same first name. you have to worry about that. i want to point out that brian williams mentioned that stewart was going on a hiatus on the "nbc nightly new

access.wgbh.org from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewarty show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." [cheers and applause] my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight author helaine olen. she's going to talk about her book "pound foolish" about the financial industry and how it's serving you perfectly. [laughter] let's begin with the president. as you may know barack obama is a student of history. he learned two things in particular from the greatest president in history abraham lincoln. one when putting together a cabinet you need assemble a team of rivals and two, you cannot kill a vampire with an axe. you need a built-in shotgun in that mother humper. lincoln the vampire. [ laughter ] [ laughter ] didn't take off like we thought it would. [ laughter ] but to the first point when it came time to choose a secretary of defense barack obama demonstrated lincoln-esque team rivalling by choosing former nebraska senator chuck haaag -- hagge -- hagel. [ laughter ] he is a republican. a two term senator, vie

any name is jon stewart.name is jon stewart and i need a haircut. [ laughter ] this is the longest head i've ever had. [ laughter ] we've got a nice one. the actress alison brie will be joining us from the hit show "community." p my guess is she'll in no way tell us what is going on there but i'm excited. let's begin tonight with america. as if you didn't know the reference. i put that up there to let you know. remember that map from the placemat at howard johnsons. [ laughter ] as you know, our country has been on a difficult run. gas prices have risen steadily over the last few months. our president is unsure whether he has the authority to target americans on our mainlandslandsh missiles. and geraldo is thinking of running for senate. it's been a tough run. we decided to do a segment aimed at boasting our morale called we may be (bleep) but -- let me explain to you. let's begin with horsemeat. >> imagine buying frozen hamburgers and litter discovering that the patties you assumed were beef were ground hors

and then, then he won because jon stewart is better than me.use he's very, very, very, very funny always. >> listen, i love me some jon stewart and "the dally show." i'm a big fan. but no apologies for reporting on which agency is the lead of our national efforts to respond to haiti. >> now, when i saw and heard what she said right there, i thought it was completely fair. but when i read what she said, "maddow retaliates against unlikely foe," oh! oh! we're foes, [ bleep ]? is that it? you don't retaliate back at me, young lady. no, no, no! so now i'm mad! until i realized how easy i had gotten off, judging by what maddow had done to other people. "maddow eviscerates." "maddow eviscerates." "maddow eviscerates." "maddow eviscerates!" she's an eviscerating machine. >> i do love me some jon stewart and "the daily show." and i have learned to love even when he makes fun of me and of msnbc in his extremely effective ways. he makes everybody in the media better at what we do by the way that he laughs at us so well. but tonight i raise the white flag

[cheers and applause]>> from cod news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. got a good one tonight. we got our guest tonight r.j. cutler made a documentary about dick cheney and -- [laughter] [laughter] -- did you guys just get really cold? [laughter] first let's talk about the top story tonight, the fragile economy. economic growth is stagnated. unmyment is stub bornly high and by midnight tomorrow the spending cuts, sequester, congress and the president subjected themselves to to force them to make a deal before the sequester took effect because the effects would be so drastic and dire that it's taking effect. listen, this is bad news my brothers. you can imagine what the mood on wall street is. >> hope and optimism here on wall street. >> merger mania is back. >> the highest bubble since 2005. >> merger mania is back with a vengeance. >> jon: ah-ha! whoo! what else would it be back with? humility? no (bleep) vengeance. the merger mania. who a

central >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my same in jon stewart. does that look like anything in i tried to draw a cartoon. ow indeed. we have a nice one tonight. joining us tonight from the msnbc cable news network we have a basket of graduate degrees. actually it's rachel maddow who has a degree. she has earned them. earned them. not like me with the honorary doctorate although i still operate. [ laughter ] one day i won't kill one. [ laughter ] folks, next month marks the tenth and -- anniversary of the iraqi war. what do you get the paper, sphwhood this might be regret. how do you start it by starting another war. >> the obama white house is engaged in a war of words with "washington post" reporter bob woodward over the origin of the spending cuts. >> jon: oh, a war of words as long as one of those words isn't drone, really that's the kind of war you can get into with this administration. why would you word war with a ledge gend

music] >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewartdaily show" theme song playing] [ captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight. the fine program. my guest michael moss he is the author of "salt sugar fat", the "eat pray love" of diabetes enthusiasts. we'll talk about the republican party. with a difficult election loss behind them there's a time of reflection and soul searching for the g.o.p. we'll let you know if they find one! oh, oh, who wants a piece of this? [cheers and applause] who wants a piece of this? [cheers and applause] [laughter] i kid, of course. really? all right. [ laughter ] last week the republican national committee released its report on what went wrong in the 2012 election and how the republican party can reverse its fortunes in the future. >> officials are calling it an autopsy. >> that's right. they are calling it an autopsy. [ laughter ] >> jon: it is a document of idealistic named for bodies in the river. what do you

central >> frm comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: hey, everybody, wrel come to "the daily show." -- welcome "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. you may have noticed our brand new show open. [cheers and applause] i think -- my guest tonight is astro physicist neil. degrasse tyson. a learned man, a man of the universe. the last time he was on the program, perhaps the time before that, he said during the normal open to the show that the graphics globe was spinning the wrong way. [laughter] well, it took time and a great deal of ingenuity but we've fixed our problem. we have a brand new open and it only cost us $1 million. [ laughter ] i hope he preshz how hard. if he thinks we're going to go back to the other open tomorrow, yes! [laughter] real quick off the top, today john brennan was supposed to have his nomination to run the c.i.a. on firmed in the senate. sort of a nonevent after the recent confirp -- confirmation drama -- what the who? it was a nonevent until th

my name is jon stewart. man, what a program our guest documentary filmmakers lori silverbush and kristi jacobson. they've done a documentary on hunger in america that will absolutely anger you but still while you are watching it have some junior mints or something. just to -- you know. you may be familiar with the new york assemblyman, he took the new york telephone company to task for seeming to weed out employees and took hillary clinton to task for embracing yasser arafat's wife. and yasser arafat took mel gibson to task and also took renee zellweger to task. took the school newspaper at at high school to task. really, really haitz anti-semitism. some of those seem like an overreyak but he feels like he is standing up for a group whenever he feels they are unfairly ma lined. >> assemblyman dove dressed up for a party dressed up in blackface makeup, an afro wig and an orange jersey. [ laughter ] >> jon: what? >> not that it really matters but that is poorly done blackface. he doesn't look like a basketball

♪[music] from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the daily show. ( cheers and applause ) welcome. my name is jon stewart. i'm telling you, baby, we're back. tonight is our last show before we take a two-week break. (laughing) very excited peter dinklage from game of thrones, hbo show. a lot of nudity and a lot of beheading. let's begin tonight with a happy passover. i know you're settling in for the passover bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. (laughing) it's been a while since i ran a proper seder. i'll tell you who know what to do. barack obama. last week president barack obama, he made his first trip to israel as our president. obviously it's not his first trip to israel. he also, we know from the history channel, was there about 2013 years ago as... i don't know. satan? of course the president was in israel to show that he was a friend to israel. checking out the dead sea scrolls and navigating the avant-garde red carpets of the west bank but of course dan

central from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: hi, everybody. welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. big show tonight. eva mendes is joining us. a fine actress. i want to talk about america, land that i love. standing beside her i can't help but notice she has issues that need addresses veesa see vis a vis economics and people in grocery stores throwing milk so they can slip. take that minimum wage mop person that has to clean that up. a lot of problems that need fixing. there's only one thing standing in our way. >> the republicans don't seem to get it. instead of working pour the people they would rather work to obstruct. >> obstruction is the orthodox. they think compromise say dirty word. >> the policy seems to be just say no. >> republicans have clog order blocked everything we've tried to do. >> jon: yes! because of republicans nothing can pass through the legislative body keeping america backed up. [ laughter ] unable to squeeze out the simplest

central from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: bam! welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen. i am particularly excited about this, the head coach of the new york football giants, tom coughlin is joining us later. we're very excited about that. [cheers and applause] he is a good and decent man who should in no way lower himself to appear on a program like this but we're excited he has. first of all, you know yesterday senator rand paul embarked on a filibuster to draw attention to the issue of executive branch's seemingly unchecked power to use drones on american soil. the libertarian senator spoke for 12 hours for theified only by the occasional nougat filled government handout. [ laughter ] and brief respit thanks to like-minded senators who share his commitment to checking executive power. wait a minute, is that mitch mcconnell? >> first let me thank him for his courage and conviction, the admi

my name is jon stewart. got a good one tonight our guest tonight denise kiernan she's written a book begun an untold story about the women involved in this town in oak ridge, tennessee in the manhattan project. a fascinated book. down at the united states supreme court where america's top nine justices spent two full days enjoying gay oral. [laughter] arguments. [ laughter ] they were hearing oral arguments -- [laughter] -- on the constitutionality of the federal defense of marriage act and california's proposition 8 ban on same-sex marriage. you would think that the main arguments against the gay marriage would have a element of moral outrage it's adam and eve, not adam steve. god would want to you make love something torn from your own rib cage. it's not like adam had a lot of options. it was either her or the snake. with the snake you don't even know -- all right. [ laughter ] but unfortunately for gay marriage opponents, the broad moral argument had been deemed just ten years earlier by this court to be

my name is jon stewart.urnalist stephen brism he is the author of atime magazine cover story on what sailing our health care system. it turns out our health care system has price cancer and no insurance. [laughter] we've been discussing this week on the program how republicans led by senators lindsey graham and salty mccain are holding up the nominees for the defense and c.i.a. until the senators get the information on what happened in benghazi including who changed the talking points susan rice used on the sunday morning shows so we can be sure no americans are harmed again by the talking points. >> whatever was said based on information provided by the intelligence community on a series of sunday shows bears no relevance on the ultimate questions of what happened in benghazi. there's an obvious political obsession over a series of talk points that again bears no relevance on the essential issues here. >> just a lot of pauses. very quickly. they are not important. they are not relevant. they are not germane

. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we've got a good show tonight. former supreme court justice sandra day o'connor is joining us this evening sitting right here discussing the supreme court and her new sitcom. [ laughter ] if you watch our program or are alive, you might be aware that this country has been facing some difficult economic times which have caused a great deal of soul searching about how we as a nation can identify and rectify the causes of our financial meltdown. we've been wringing our hands about it but the good news is it's already been fixed. >> the dow jones industrial at never before seen heights. >> all time high. >> making history today. >> if they tell you everything is awful, tell them no it's not. [laughter] [cheers and applause] >> jon: amen. it's a march miracle the non-inflation adjusted values of stocks that 30 large companies that sort

my name is jon stewart. our guest is donnie wahlberg going to be joining us later on the program on the... lonnie anderson. that's the woman i would be. ( applause ) if you can be any animal, if you can be any woman but nobody ever asked me are you satisfied with you? (laughing) a little bit of housekeeping. last week we did a very clever bit on our program called 19th century news. within the bit we had very witty fun concerning mississippi's just recently ratifying the 13th amendment. agreeing to end slavery, a mere 148 years after. after the rest of us. as many of you know, if i am bringing up something that we did on the show last week, i'm probably about to apologize for it. maybe i'm apologizing to mississippi as painting it to some kind of reluctant entrant to modern morality. yes, no. it concerns a former mississippi secretary of state who presided over a 1995 attempt to ratify the 13th amendment. it failed due to a bureaucratic snafu >> their former secretary of state failed to send a copy of the re