here is your host, jon stewart! ers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jon: hey, everybody! hello! welcome to "the daily show"! [cheers and applause] my name is jon stewart. the second presidential debate has just wrapped up. we are live -- technically, i guess, this is the second presidential debate. the first presidential debate of this matchup. i can't wait to see who the winner will take on next. i think -- we are coming to you live, ladies and gentlemen. the stakes couldn't be higher as we all try to figure out who will be the next president... it's it's an exciting night for citizens of that esteemed nation as the rest of us watch with great interest from the neighboring country of no one gives a shit-istan. by the way, if you have any friends there, can you see if they can do anything about congestion pricing? forget about it. so far, it seems like this presidential race is going to be a tight one. >> the election now i did hate the. >> separated by razor-thin margins. >> neck and neck. >> for all inte

this is "the daily show" with your host, jon stewart! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jon: boom! welcome to "the daily show," ladies and gentlemen! my name is jon stewart. we have a fabulous show for you tonight. christine lagarde, president of the european central bank, is here. we'll be talking about her new movie, "beetlejuice beetlejuice 3 sisters!" by the way, speaking of europe, let's talk about the middle east. [laughs] as you know, october 7th marks the one year anniversary of the horrific attack against israeli citizens and the kidnapping of hostages, many of whom have died and many who are still being held. since then, there's also been a horrific war in gaza, which doesn't seem to have gottenus any closer to those hostages getting released. but luckily for both sides, the united states has been working tirelessly since then towards... well, i'll let our former president explain. >> for weeks, i've been advocating a pause in the fighting. >> you know, i've been working tirelessly. >> relentlessly focused. >> i

a few months ago, jon stewart wasn't even the host of the daily show.swapped him in illegally. my own network, abc, rigged it against me. they're attacking me from the inside. i was up against three other shows, it was three on one. we won it by a landslide. we have the biggest crowds. there are 10,000 people in this studio. [ cheering ] another 20,000 outside who couldn't get in. no host in history has been treated more unfairly than we were. and people are very angry. they're very angry, i can tell you. guillermo, i need you to find me 11,000 votes. >> guillermo: i will, for sure. >> jimmy: donald trump was actually here in l.a. over the weekend. he had some charity -- no, not charity. what am i thinking? he had some fund-raising events. he had a press conference from his golf club in palos verdes where the scamburglar doubled-down on one of his favorite new lines of attack. >> and then you have kamala's claim that she worked at mcdonald's. she never worked at mcdonald's. it's a lie. she said she stood over those french fries when they were being frie

cheers and applause] >> jordan: that's our show for tonight, but be sure to tune in tomorrow when jon stewartring down and trying to prep to get ready to take on donald trump on the debate stage on tuesday. she basically said it is like cramming for finals where you can't wait to get out and getting out part was the best part. watch. >> being at this spice store, i finally got out of debate prep to look at the spices! best part of debate prep so far. best part of debate prep so far. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪

cheers and applause] >> jordan: that's our show for tonight, but be sure to tune in tomorrow when jon stewartt, it has been in a hotel for a few days really hunkering down and trying to prep to get ready to take on donald trump on the debate stage on tuesday. she basically said it is like cramming for finals where you can't wait to get out and getting out part was the best part. watch. >> being at this spice store, i finally got out of debate prep to look at the spices! best part of debate prep so far. best part of debate prep so far. ♪ it seems today ♪ ♪ that all you see ♪ ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ ♪ all the things that make us ♪ ♪ laugh and cry ♪ ♪ he's... a... fam... ily... guy! ♪ [♪ upbeat music playing] ah, look at this, peter, a new restaurant in town. what a lightning bolt to the balls for a couple of schmoes like us, huh? i know, i can't believe quahog finally got a his and hers. check it out, i can drink beer, watch

jon stewart is no longer with us, but his company, of course, remains.and your comments, of course, still resonate. and my understanding is that long term property management, it's something i'm going to turn over to the team to discuss as to why they why they elected to bring jon stewart company on board as their long term property manager. but there are several processes in place to ensure that, i mean, in terms of annual monitoring and making sure that certain metrics are made when the property transfers over to the mayor's office of housing and community development, that will continue to be maintained and throughout pre-development, we're going to make sure that that property management plan is very detailed to address existing concerns. part of the part of the loan evaluation process with the citywide affordable housing loan committee is an examination not only of just the project financials and all aspects of the project for pre-development, but it is also their their approach to property management, which was a part of that evaluation included in

was it jon stewart or stephen colbert. >> they're both trash.is one. >> jesse: whoever his name is. he who shall not be named. let's see. >> oooo. so boring. i forgot what a daredevil like you is. jesse caneival over here. >> jesse: we now have emily losing. kennedy is in the lead. category suns out guns out. politicians are supposed to be olympics boo, but some of them won't reveal everything about themselves. the who told a group of firefighters that he would not take his shirt off for them. was it gavin newsome or j.d. vance? let's see if it's newsom. >> i am sure would make some big headlines. don't worry, everybody. i'm not going to try to take off my shirt here. >> jesse: he's not gonna take off his shirt. you're both wrong but you're still winning. >> for once someone else is wrong along with me. >> jesse: don't throw stones, ladies. which late night host mangled his own monologue while he was mocking trump for misspeaking. was it jimmy kimmel or seth myers. >> i'm going to go with option a. >> jesse: smart play strategically. >> you only

so, to my old colleague jon stewart, i just want you to know i voted for you. jon wins, he's only incarcerated on mondays. trump held a rally in wisconsin this weekend, where he stuck to his core platform of making up the craziest lies you've ever heard. here's some absolute nonsense about public schools. >> kamala supports states being able to take minor children and perform sex change operation, take them away from their parents, perform sex change operation, and send them back home. can you imagine you're a parent, and your son leaves the house and you say, "jimmy, i love you so much. go have a good day in school," and your son comes back with a brutal operation. >> stephen: "and you say, jimmy, what happened? and jimmy says, mama, i'm so scared. the principal got on the p.a. and said report to the cafeteria for sex change operation and salisbury steak. as a parent, can you as a parent, let me ask you, as a parent, can you imagine that? well, you're gonna have to 'cause i'm making all this [bleep] up." you got this. you got that. you got that. i know we do a

. - i remember when jon stewart went on "crossfire." it was 2004.rry was the democratic presidential nominee facing george w. bush, and i thought, you know, watching it, i said, , "well, this couldld be a funnnny sho" - - can i say y somethingg very quickly? why do we have to fight? - [laughs] - the two of you. can't we just-- say something nice about john kerry right now. - i like john--i care about john kerry. - and something about president bush. - he'll be unemployed soon. - [laughs] - i think anyone who enjoyed paying attention to the news and watched "the daily show" will forever remember jon stewart going g on "crossfsfire" and readining those guguys the e riot act.. - you'u're doing t theater whehu shshould be dodoing debatet, which would be great. - you do debate-- - it's not honest. what you do is not honest. what you do is partisan hackery, and i'll tell you why i know it... - you have john kerry on your show, and you sniff his throne, and you're accusing us of partisan hackery? - absolutely, you're-- - you have got to be kidding! - you'r

>> jimmy, i love you so much. [ cheering ] >> jimmy: how would that work for jon stewart, would he onlyow imagining me and all the other late night hosts in prison together like the mobsters in "goodfellas." i'll be stirring the sauce, colbert will be slicing the garlic with a razor blade. guillermo, you're probably going in too. bring some sausage, because we're going to have some time on our hands. >> guillermo: i will bring anything for you. >> jimmy: melania was on the campaign trail with her husband this weekend. just kidding, we haven't seen her for weeks. but she does have a new book coming out, a memoir, and just in case you think melania doesn't care about the little think again. >> the 2020 election results changed our lives forever. it impacted our quality of life, cost of food, gasoline. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let me ask you a question. when was the last time you think melania pumped gasoline? 1990 never made? melania's book comes out october 8th. it is number two on amazon on the best-seller list, whereas the new book trump released last week is number 269. it's a good thin

maybe you should take over the jon stewart role. i think you bet your neck. >> that's once a week. that's like once a week. >> not trying to get trying to get rid of days a week, you know, not morning, fulton county prosecutor leading georgia's election subversion case against donald trump, expected to defy a subpoena from a state senate committee investigating her conduct. >> that's according to local reports. nick valencia live at the state capitol in atlanta, where a hearing on fani willis, this is conduct and relationship with former special prosecutor, nathan wade is set to begin soon nic, let us know what's going on now yeah, different kinds of fireworks here that we're expecting this morning. >> good morning, sara. at the core of the argument you minutes that we're going to hear today is whether or not this panel has the authority to compel somebody to show up to testify the chairman of this committee believes that they do and they've issued a subpoena for district attorney mean fani willis, but she is not going to show up. not expected to anyway, and it's a not so veiled si

interesting because that is very much an argument that could have been made chris has a little bit mean, jon stewart about what he was dropping an accident when i think he was important that got one point and tim walz is accused of being folksy. >> there are moments, but your point is well taken. that this is an elevated moment right now where this is focused on for a very different reason in something tells me that those who know the code know exactly why i'm all leah. >> thank you both so much and thank you all for watching anderson cooper 360 next this whale is unaware. >> it's being exploited for financial advertising. look at this silly little saleable these men of means today, silver spoon seating up the financial favors of the 1%. what would become of them when they discover robinhood gold allows others to earn their very liberal rates on idle cash and unlimited deposit bonuses he would descend into chaos they're seeing this chaos a heart attack. do they have life insurance? >> no. but we have life insurance john, i'm trying to find something we can afford unfortunately it only. >> a few minu

was it jon stewart or stephen colbert? >> they're both trash.'m going to go with this one.as whatever his namh.e is, shall whatever his name is, he who soall not be named, i'll say, oh, so boring. i forgot what a daredevil like you, jesse knievel over here.av >> okay. all right. so we now have emily losine emgt kennedy is in the lead category. suns out, guns out. politician politio be are supposed to be open books, but some of them won't reveal everythinthe whgfii about themselves. who told a group of firefighterghhat he ws that d not take his shirt off for them? was it gavin newsom or j.d. vance? it's if it's newsom. and while it's tempting and i'm sure it would make some big try headlines, don't worry, everybody. i'm not going to try to take myf my shirt here.irt. >> oh, he's not going to take off his shirt. we're both both wr that we're b wrong. >> you're both wrong, but you're still winning for wrong withne else is wrongelse i with me. >> i don't throw stones. ladies, whicladih late night hot mangled his own monologue while he was mocking tr

. >> stephen colbert and jon stewart. >> do you think there would have been "snl" or any of the standupsnited states. people are still saying, i don't believe that. i am going to investigate this and see the truth. i think that's what "mad" is saying. don't buy the con, you know? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ hey, get your head in the game, son. the scout from football college is up in the stands. maybe i'd rather go to school for insurance. i didn't raise no insurance man. but you did, dad. football's your passion. but mine is providing around-the-clock protection to progressive customers who bundle home and auto. jamie, we need you out here for football. you're giving up on your dream, james. no, dad. i'm giving up on yours. no, james, wait! oh, that's not the exit. leo! he's there when we wake up, he's there when we leave, he's there whenever we come back home from school, he's just there always. mash it up doofus. ever since we introduced him to the farmer's dog, his quality of life has been forever changed. he prefers real, human-grade food. it's... ...like real food! it is! he's a happy dog now. he's

jon. [applause] if i could have join us here to the front mr. rick buyer leader mcconnell leader mcconnell, leader jeffries, senator collins and market represent as malloy, custer, and stewartfor the photo? yes. maybe on stage so we can get everybody. [background noises] [applause] [applause] [inaudible] [background noises] ladies and gentlemen mr. bernie bluestein veteran 603 camouflage. [applause] [applause] [background noises] [background noises] [background noises] [background noises] >> is all of you know i am not a speaker. i came over not to make a speech but personally thank a few people who deserve my highest regards and thanks. one goes to rick byers rick started this whole thing. if it was not for rick i would not be up here along with my comrades here. he took the initiative when information was released from the government. and immediately decided to notarize a little bit and let the world know we did exist. that was quite an undertaking. he did quite a successful job. it took a lot of hard work with a lot of hard-working people. canvassing congress and getting the proper vote and getting the president to sign it. i would also like to personally thank gary for