anyway, i was unable to do the show and the host was jordan klepper who did an amazing job.nk you so much, jordan klepper. ( applause ) part of me thinks one person was watching who was, like, wow, trevor really turned up his white half tonight! i like it! that's not how being mixed race works. i can't turn it up and down like the brightness on a tv. although sometimes i wish i could turn up the blackness or whiteness. i turn up the blackness to be cool and turn up the white necessary to get loans -- whiteness to get loans. ( laughter ) early voting is underway. you know how donald trump said to be on the lookout for shenanigans at polling places? i think i believe him. >> just just may be in trouble because he snapped a selfie while voting in memphis. tennessee law prohibits photos in booths and the matter is under review. >> trevor: that's right. apparently it's illegal to take a selfie in the voting booth while smelling your own farts. ( laughter ) to be fair to justin, though, that's the face most americans will make when they vote this year -- ( laughter ) i don't see w

jordan klepper once again hit the streets.ually, more like the parking lot, to find out. >> according to the main stream media, donald trump's lewd talk and recent sexual assault allegations are eroding republican support. >> the g.o.p. is abandoning their nominee in droves. >> the exodus of republican support continued. >> republicans are deserting the sinking ship. >> i don't listen to that noise. i listen to this throb -- ba-ba, ba-ba -- this is jordan klepper fingers the pulse! ♪ ( applause ) i hitched a ride to a rally in the crucial swing state of pennsylvania to ask trump supporters if he had finally crossed the line. >> you know what? so what if he wants to grab pussy! i want to grab pussy! >> that's a. >> no i wish i could grab as much pussy as he has. >> i'd like to grab al queda by the pussy and shove yankee doodle dandy up its ass. >> how are they about presidential candidate bragging about sexual assault. >> locker room talk. guys in the bar talk that way when they see a pretty girl. >> i've heard words about men

well jordan klepper once again hit the streets -- actually more like the parking lot to find out. >>e mainstream media donald trump's lewd talk and recent sexual assault allegations are eroding his republican support. >> the gop is abandoning their nominee in droves. >> the exodus of republican support continued. >> republicans are deserting the sinking ships. >> but i don't listen to that noise. i listen to this throb. buh-bah, buh-bah! this is jordan klepper fingers the pulse. ♪ i hitched a ride to a rally in the crucial swing state of pennsylvania to ask trump supporters if he had finally crossed the line. >> you know what? so what if he wants to grab pussy. i want to grab pussy. >> that's a no! >> i wish i could grab as much pussy as he has. >> well i'd like to grab al qaida by the pussy and shove some yankee doodle dandy right up its ass! >> also a no! >> but how are they ok with the presidential candidate bragging about sexual assault? wait for it. >> i think it's just locker room talk. >> what does that mean? >> guys in the bar talk that way when they see a pretty girl. what a

i am jordan klepper.uest tonight from hit netflix show "marvel's luke cage" mike colter is here, everybody ( cheers and applause ) very excited. obviously,ive subbing for trevor, who unfortunately, is out sick this evening, not from watching too much debate last night but instead apparently one of his dimples exploded. doctors say he will make a full and handsome recovery. seriously, i will treat your desk and show with utmost respect and dignity so everything is in shape when you come back from your battle with penis farting syndrome. ( laughter ) it's a very real disease where surprisingly your penis farts. it's no laughing matter. it's stage 4 penis farting which is what trevor noah has. ( laughter ) while we're on the subject of a white guy trying to fill a black man's job, let's talk about donald trump. ( cheers and applause ) now, last night, he debated hillary clinton for the third and final time and the stakes were very high for the tangerine snatch-grabber. in the last few weeks he's plummeted in

we're here with jordan klepper everybody. >> good to be here. t to be clear, we are live, right. >> tevor: yes, jordan, we are completely live. >> like live, live. like what i'm saying is being heard across the country right now. >> tevor: that's what live mains. >> great. balls. balls. balls, balls, balls, balls. >> tevor: are you done. >> yes, i'm done. >> tevor: okay, great. >> balls. >> tevor: all right, jordan back to the debate. you are so childish. going into tonight, the big debate was like many people were going we don't know much about tim kaine and mike pence. >> well that's what i used to think trevor, but then i went out to interview actual americans. and it turns out no one knows anything about mike kaine and tim pence. >> tevor: i think you switched names. >> after the vice presidential debate half of the voters had never heard of mike pence or tim kaine. i went through new york city to slap some fives and get 4911 on their names. do you know houthis guys are. >> someone's grandpa or dads. >> who are these two guys. >> don't know,

jordan klepper thinks college kids are pussies. >> huge. >> all rise for the honorable judge roy woodh. >> sit y'all ass down. let's get down to the get down. what in the goddam is a safe space? desi, you have the floor. >> picture this, your honor. are you a minority. >> i will allow it. >> every day you face discrimination, hate speech, microaggression, not the shouty angry mel gibsony kind but a consistent undercurrent of white noise. let's just call it white's only noise. these colleges are just trying to create spaces where you and your fellow students can be free from all of that. >> i get it. so racism is like a nagging wife, and safe spaces are like the downstairs bathroom that i go to to get away from her. >> excellent example, your honor. also a gret microaggression against me as a woman. >> compliment sustained. jordan, what is your problem with this. >> your honor, safe spaces are nothing but an attempt to shut down free speech. college is a time to say stuff you don't like like hackie sack, butt chuggers and quite boy dread lock. if i cut myself off from all the bigots i