not come down with a basketball-born disease this intense since the mid-'70s outbreak of kareem abdul ja-botulism. (laughter) but lin-sanity, it caught the n.b.a. off guard. all the jeremy lin jerseys that were on the shelves sold out-- because there weren't any. (laughter) best of all, jeremy lin here is currently without a corporate sponsor which means he's in the market for endorsement deals. so, mr. lin, in the spirit of lin-sanity, i hope you will consider endorsing my line of premium lin-oleum tiles. (laughter) (applause) tough stuff. (cheers and applause) peel and stick. it goes everywhere. and, of course, jeremy lint. as we speak, i am drying socks and towels as fast as i can to meet what i assume will be heavy demand. (laughter) folks, it's no secret that the big government nanny state is smothering us in buzz-killing regulations. if i can't bring a gun on a plane, who's going to kill the panther i also brought on the plane? (laughter) well, tonight... pretty animal. so tonight i profile one do-gooder whose do-gooding done gone do-bad. (laughter) this is the people who are destroying ame