"jimmy kimmel" next. >>> all new jimmy kimmel live from brooklyn. >> tonight i have returned to save my people from the storm. [ cheers and applause ] >> howard stern. >> in the middle of the show -- i'm having a good time. like it in brooklyn. it's fun. >> tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ] doing that because i probably owe them money. >> and sharon jones and the dap kings. all new "jimmy kimmel >> hi, i'm guillermo and we're on our way to the sturgis bike rally, and first to pay for our trip -- move it, snake. >> hate to break it to you, but the bike rally was was in august. >> you told me it was now. >> no -- >> sorry, boss. >> don't worry, "pawn stars" devoting a whole episode to our time at sturgis. >> check it out, like you're at the rally. >> guillermo: can i sell you this very, very valuable item. j bring them in, we'll check them out. >> guillermo: a bunch of stuff from my boss, jimmy kimmel. he's famous. i got his trophy, his clarinet, make beautiful music. toothbrush. his pillow. and six pounds of bacon. >> how do i know it's his? >> guillermo: it is his, i got his lice

jimmy kimmel is up next. we'll see you here tomorrow. >>> tonight on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> tonight, one of the only nights of a year where you might actually hear someone say, honey, turn on c-span. >> amy poehler. >> did you watch the debates? >> i haven't yet but i hope that barack is wearing a red leather suit and never comments on it. >> alan arkin. >> i grabbed him by the throughout and i said, shut up! >> and music from garbage. >> how are you, my brother from a totally separate mother? >> i'm good, bro. >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. in celebration of their 85th anniversary, the craftsman brand is rebuilding a 1965 ford mustang. and they're giving it away to one lucky human. this step-by-step restoration is being captured each week on craftsman.com, which means you can watch the car that could be yours being transformed. right before your eyes. winner will be revealed november 2nd and the more you watch, the more chances you have to win. interestingly enough, we did a similar restoratio

and now, after all has been said and done, here's jimmy kimmel!ers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice. thank you for watching the show, thank you for watching me on television. i would like to begin by wishing you happy columbus day today. a lot of people had the day off work today, instead of going to the work and checking facebook all day you checked facebook at home all day. [ laughter ] every columbus day i do the same thing. tradition. i dress up as a native american and cry. christopher columbus back in 1492, i happened -- happened upon north america by mistake, trying to find india, using the apple maps app. it is kind of funny we have a national holiday to honor a guy who basically got lost and wouldn't admit it. looking for india, not only didn't he find india, he was 13,000 miles off. india is only 5,000 miles from spain. it's 18,000 miles away from us here. what did columbus do?aw land on turned to his crew and said, there it is, india, i found it. then he called everyone who live tld indians for the whole rest of the -- he was an idi

>> jimmy: no, no, it's me, jimmy kimmel. >> oh, hi, mr. jimmy kimmel.y kimmel, how are you, my brother from a totally different mother? >> jimmy: i am -- i'm good, bro. so, hey, i -- the reason i'm calling is that i heard mitt romney hired you to write zingers for his debate tonight. >> ah, yes. mr. mittens romney paid us handsomely for our top notch zingers of the president obama. >> jimmy: he did. how -- >> we worked with mr. romney for many years. >> jimmy: i didn't know. what have you been doing for him for many years? >> we write his jokes and we make his dockers. >> jimmy: you make his dockers? oh, yeah, they are -- they are dockers. all right. [ laughter ] it's okay if he sits down now. i got it. i didn't know any of that. so, can you share some of the zingers that didn't make it into tonight's debate? >> oh, most certainly. we will get our king of zing to deliver them. roger! >> jimmy: great, yeah, get him. >> roger! roger -- jimmy kimmel. >> oh, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, wow, look at that. very realistic. >> we make mr. romney masks. >> jimmy: oh, y

here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" >> jimmy: well, that's very ninice. thank you.nk you, cleto. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here tonight. this is a big night and i'm glad you are enthusiastic because the first lady, michelle obama is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] i hope you don't have any candy, because she can smell it on you. [ laughter ] having the first lady here is a big deal for us. you know, we had lady gaga, we had lady antebellum, but this is the first first lady we've had on the show. the first lady is here on the show to encourage us to vet early. it's great, because it's important that everyone makes their voices heard. and b, on election day, you don't have to spend the morning inside an old lady's garage. you know, democrats are more likely to vote early than republicans. most republicans are opposed, because they believe that voting starts at conception -- is that how it -- [ laughter ] might have mixed -- i may be mixing two things up, but i do know that -- [ applause ] studies show tha

>> dicky: up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." axl rose. >> i worked at torer video for awhile jamaica what did you do? >> i became a manager for a very short amount of time. >> jimmy: did you have to scold people for being late? >> dicky: and ana gasteyer. >> jimmy: use something in your refrigerator to make a mike tison face tattoo. >> you look like one >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kimmel and joining me is the great drummer travis barker. how are you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: i understand you have an ep with yelawolf called "psycho white" coming out november 13th? >> yes, jimmy, but that's not why i'm here. as you might've heard, i just got out of rock rehab. being in rock rehab really opened my eyes to a growing epidemic that's taking over our nation. that's why i made this video to support this great cause, because if it could happen to me, it could happen to you. >> jimmy: i had no idea, travis. >> i'd love to show it to you if you have time. >> jimmy: absolutely, we're glad to help. >> i used to be wild, crazy but then i became a

. >> dicky: up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." axl rose. >> i worked at torer video for awhile jamaica what did you do? >> i became a manager for a very short amount of time. >> jimmy: did you have to scold people for being late? >> dicky: and ana gasteyer. >> jimmy: use something in your refrigerator to make a mike tison face tattoo. >> you stephanie rawlings-blake: voting for question seven is an... incredible opportunity for baltimore. jim smith: question seven will bring table games like... blackjack and poker to baltimore. stephanie rawlings-blake: you're talking about 500 new jobs. ken ulman: and increased tourism will mean more business... for maryland's small businesses. jim smith: and instead of marylanders spending... five hundred and fifty million in other states... ken ulman: question seven will keep that money right here. stephanie rawlings-blake: more bs, millions for schools. jim smith: i'm voting for question seven. ken ulman: i'm voting for question seven. stephanie rawlings-blake: and i'm voting for question seve

"jimmy kimmel" next. >>> all new jimmy kimmel live from brooklyn. >> tonight i have returned to save from the storm. [ cheers and applause ] >> howard stern. >> in ththe mididdle of the sho i'm having a good time. like it in brooklyn. it's fun. >> tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ] doing that because i probably owe them money. >> and sharon jones and the dap kings. >> and sharon jones and the dap ki[ mitt romney ] there are two very different paths the country can take. one is a path represented by the president, which, at the end of four years, iit'd mean we'd have $20 trillion in debt. i'll get people back to work with 12 million new jobs. i'm gonna make sure that we get people off of food stamps not by cutting the thogram but by getting them good jobs. i'll work with you. i'll lead you in an open and honest way a to make sure that we all together maintain america as the hope of the earth. i'm mitt romney, and i approve this message. >> hi, i'm guillermo and we're on our way to the sturgis bike rally, and first to pay for our trip -- move it, snake. >> hate to break it to you, b

here's jimmy kimmel! "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. guillermo, how are you? hi, everybody, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming out to visit. i'm glad you did. i missed you guys. i really did. hey, did anyone in this room watch the debate last night, the presidential debate? i didn't -- i didn't like it. i thought it was uncomfortable. i don't know why they have to argue all the time. it's -- the whole thing was very tense. sometimes passive aggressive. just like being with your family at thanksgiving. in fact, i think they officially kicked the holiday season off last night with the debate. cnn poll today said that 46% of viewers who watched thought obama won and 39% thought mitt romney won. so, it looks like obama's strategy of staying awake through this one paid off. [ laughter ] i don't know who won last night. they both talked for a long time. nobody fell over so i guess they're both winners. the format of the debate was a t

"jimmy kimmel" is coming up next. we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live." >> i would have them coming out on halloween. if your parents freak out, i'm just kidding. it's a costume, i'm just dressed as lady gaga. >> dicky: kevin james. >> mailbox. >> dicky: ezra miller and unnecessary censorship. >> he's saying he's hundred and eighty million dollars for maryland schools. that's a lot of money. my classroom. games and a new casino for maryland. million more for education every year. the money goes where it's supposed to. it's the law. this is about our kids. this is about better schools. seven. i'm voting for question seven. i'm voting for question seven. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, kevin james, ezra miller and music from bloc party with cleto and the cletones and now here we go again, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. that's very nice. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the

"jimmy kimmel" is coming up next. we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live." >> i would have them coming out on halloween. if your parents freak out, i'm just kidding. it's a costume, i'm just dressed as lady gaga. >> dicky: kevin james. >> mailbox. >> dicky: ezra miller and unnecessary censorship. >> dicky: ezra miller and [ mitt romney ] we have to work on a collaborative basis. look, the reason i'm in this race is there are people that are really hurting today in this country. and we face this deficit -- could crush the future generations. and republicans and democrats bothove america but we need to have leadership -- leadership in washington that will actually bring people together and get the job done and could not care less if it's a republican or a democrat. i've done it before, i'll do it again. i'm mitt romney, and i approve this message. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, kevin james, ezra miller and music from bloc party with cleto and the cletones and n

and "jimmy kimmel" next. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> let me also say happy wednesday. >> thanks. >> jimmy: how many more kardashian shows are we going to allow before we arrest ryan seacrest. >> first thing you do is you cletones. a little >> dick:. >> jimmy: i am jimmy and with me is guillermo. at the end of the month, we're bringing our show "jimmy kimmel live" to brooklyn. and our friends at subway are helping us get there. we'll be live from october 29th through november 2nd. we have a lot of fun guests and surprises planned for the trip right, guillermo? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: why are you dressed like this? do you have a zumba class later? >> guillermo: no, jimmy. i'm going to run in the new york city marathon! it goes right past our show in brooklyn. >> jimmy: that sounds like a terrible idea guillermo. do you think you can do it? >> guillermo: yes. i've been working really hard. i even hired a trainer. here i'll show you. hi everyone, it's me guillermo! i'm going to be running in the ing new york city marathon. and this is my trainer, jared fr

i'm mitt romney and i approve is message. >>> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- megan mullally. from "dancing with the stars," drew lachey and helio castroneves. plus, music from father john misty. with cleto and the cletones. and now, if you haven't heard, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. that's very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for joining me, in my subterranean layer. i'm very happy to see you. how many of the people in this audience are on facebook? [ cheers ] i mean, not right now, right? laughter ] that would be rude. if you're at all familiar with facebook, you're familiar with the like button. next to everything posted on facebook, there's a little thumbs up that you can click that indicates you enjoyed the post. now, facebook is adding a new thing, which is the want button. they've partnered with a number of big online stores. and the way it works is, if you see an item you want, you click the want button and it puts a list of the things you want. it's

. >>> up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live." >> i think a lot of people stopped believing in god when they turned on the tv and saw honey boo boo. >> i have a mole that can predict the weather. >> on your body? >> he'll owe cast nef ves. barnhill: you hear a lot of talk about question seven... so let me tell you what i know: if question seven passes, my company's going to... bring table games, like blackjack and poker... right here to baltimore. a twenty-five million dollar investment... that'll create five hundred new jobs. all right here. today, marylanders are spending $500 million gaming... in other states. let's keep it here. i'm chad barnhill, and we're ready to build right here. we're ready, and it's real. and all that has to happen... is question seven. >>> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- megan mullally. from "dancing with the stars," drew lachey and helio castroneves. plus, music from father john misty. with cleto and the cletones. and now, if you haven't heard, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you.

cc what's possible. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!"tonight -- zooey deschanel, maggie grace and music from eclectic approach. with cleto and the cletones. and now, not only that, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. welcome. very nice. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for being here. that doesn't go unnoticed. i appreciate that. i'm glad you have energy. very, very hot here today over 100 degrees today. i wonder if the sun knows it's october? because days like these i'll tell you, people laugh at me but these are the reason why i keep my spanx in the freezer. [ laughter ] see you all survived carmaggedon, they shut 405 down over the weekend, the mayor asked the people of los angeles to stay off the road while crews demolished the mulholland bridge. even our highways get cosmetic surgeries. next week bruce jenner's face will be shut down for a weekend. despite the fact that the closed the most congested freeway in america traffic was not a problem, people did stay away from th

>> dicky: tonight on "jimmy kimmel live." >> i would have them coming out on halloween. if your parents freak out, i'm just kidding. it's a costume, i'm just dressed as lady gaga. >> dicky: kevin james. >> mailbox. >> dicky: ezra miller and unnecessary censorship. >> he's saying he's >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, kevin james, ezra miller and music from bloc party with cleto and the cletones and now here we go again, here's jimmy kimmel! [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. that's very nice. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for being here tonight. i just -- i have to say something, i just put a little purel on my hands so i'm as fresh clean as i can possibly be. it rained today here, which i think -- i think it's the first time it ever happened, right? [ laughter ] i know it sounds dumb, but i actually went outside to look at the rain, it hasn't rained in so long. it looked wet. it looked like rain. i guess it's good. we need the rain in

and "jimmy kimmel" next. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> let me also say happy wednesday. >> thanks. >> jimmy: how many more kardashian shows are we going to allow before we arrest ryan seacrest. >> first thing you do is you let me tell you how i will create 12 millions jobs when president obama couldn't. first, my energy independence policy means more than three million new jobs. many of them in manufacturing. my tax reform plan to lower rates for the middle class and for small business creates seven million more. and expanding trade, cracking down on china, and improving job training takes us to over 12 million new jobs. i'm mittomney, and i approve this message. >> dick:. >> jimmy: i am jimmy and with me is guillermo. at the end of the month, we're bringing our show "jimmy kimmel live" to brooklyn. and our friends at subway are helping us get there. we'll be live from october 29th through november 2nd. we have a lot of fun guests and surprises planned for the trip right, guillermo? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: why are you dressed like this? do you have a zu

here's jimmy kimmel!'s "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, thank you. that's very nice. thank you. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching, thank you for being here tonight. i just -- i have to say something, i just put a little pure rell on my hands so i'm as fresh clean as i can possibly be. it rained today here, which i think -- i think it's the first time it ever happened, right? [ laughter ] i know it sounds dumb but i actually went outside to look at the rain it hasn't rained in soening lo. it looked wet. it's good. we need the rain in southern california to water our medical ma marijuana plants. when the rain leapts up, you can go to the storm drains and pick your own chihuahua. thank you for braving the elements to join me on this journey of friendship and laughter tonight. tomorrow in l.a., we have something unusual going on. thousands of people all over town are expected to gather to watch the space shuttle "endeavor" roll through the streets. las

here's jimmy kimmel!t's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, everybody. well, thank you. hi, there, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. [ applause ] thank you for coming here to my headquarters. it's very good to have you here. thank you. did -- did any of you feel the earthquake this morning? that's because there was no earthquake this morning. but we pretended there was. the great shakeout is an annual earthquake safety drill, started here in southern california back in 2008. the shakeout today was -- occurred at exactly 10:18 a.m. they should schedule allette quakes at 10:18 a.m. see if we can be ready. that's the mayor participating. you want to be safe, make sure you are always traveling with a giant red table and you'll be fine. they say really the best way to prepare for earthquake is to move out of california, where it will not effect you. the drill went smoothly. 9.3 million californians participated. all the local news channels covered it. this is good. t

"jimmy kimmel" is up next. see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live the" aziz ansari. >> mr. ekt nick. who we going to give mr. ethnic, how about the little brown boy who is the most adorable piece of caramel ever. >> as of friday lindsay lohan not registered to vote but incredibly still registered to drive. >> mama and honey boo boo. >> might need ♪ >> professor troy? >> yes. welcome to piano 101. >> i want to learn to play like you. >> well that'll take time. i'm willing to teach you. let's start with middle c. do you know c? >> si. >> stop, stop! the piano is a beautiful instrument -- you've got to learn to treat it with respect. >> like this. >> no, no, first things first. your hair is a mess. go clean up. >> now? >> yeah. >> okay. >> wow, that is a deep clean. >> i know. >> let's try middle c on the marimba. >> like this? >> no. >> maybe you're not such a good teacher mr. troy polamalu. brought to by "head and shoulders deep clean." our deepest clean ever. visit "deep-like-troy.o

told kimmel about her plan in case he forgets to vote. >> election day! election day! let's go! move it, move it! let's go, get your shoes on. move it, move it! up, up, up. it's time to go. you can do it. out the door, out the door. and eat some carrots. >> and eat some carrots. >>> british's royal sister-in-law attended a launch party for her book launch of party planning and recipes. >>> jessica beil tells "people" magazine says she plans to go the traditional route and take her hubby's last name. >>> and, finally, did we know this was coming? we did. 22-year-old taylor swift and conner kennedy reportedly called it quits. a few month of dating, that was about it because of the distance and her busy schedule. tmz reports that she plans to buy that $4.5 million home across from ethyl kennedy. awkward. >>> last night jimmy fallon had a little fun with the breakup. >> when kennedy asked if they were ever getting back together taylor handed him an ipod and said play track six. >> i can't get that song out of my head. >> will it be a dear conner song? >> we p

and michelle obama gives jimmy kimmel suggestions to make sure everyone gets out to vote on election day. >> up and at 'em. let's go. move it. let's go. move it. move it. captions paid for by nbc-universal television >>> good friday morning everyone. i'm lynn berry, and the mid atlantic is bracing for a direct hit by hurricane sandy. government officials and utility companies all along the eastern seaboard are busy making emergency plans, and if you plan to travel east within the next week or have family and friends here, you're going to want to pay attention. so far this storm is being blamed for at least 21 deaths across the caribbean. 11 of those are in cuba alone. this is anticipated to be a really impactful storm. and nbc meteorologist bill karins is tracking sandy for us. he's been doing so all week. bill, what's the latest? >> good morning to you, lynn. the storm is just off the florida coast. tracking all the way up and down the eastern seaboard. so many people on the west coast travel there or have family and friends that could be impacted by this storm. a lot of our favorit

and now, first and foremost, here's jimmy kimmel!lause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice. welcome. welcome. hi. i'm jimmy, i'm the host, thanks for watching, thank you for being here. what a special night, new episode of "dancing with the stars" on abc. are you "dancing with the stars" fans? [ cheers and applause ] that seemed half-hearted to me. it was elimination night, another dancer cast down from ma'am mambo mountain. last night bristol palin had the lowest score, an 18, but she was not sent home, instead, joey fatone got the axe tonight. he'll be happy to hear that because here now to analyze this decision, live via satellite from "dancing with the stars" headquarters is joey fatone and kym johnson. hi, guys. >> what up, jimmy. >> jimmy: how are you feeling right now? >> i feel like i got kicked in the nuts. >> jimmy: it's times like these you probably wish you hadn't recorded a song called "bye bye bye." >> they should have pled that. that's the thing. you go out, you got to go out big. >> jimmy: people were probably surprised yo

they said, jimmy kimmel.o, i just really went to town on his face. >> it felt great to punch jimmy, but i also punched martha plimpton. >> oh, jesus mary. >> are you okay? >> right in the noise. >> hitting jimmy is late bit like hitting a soft bag of cheese. maybe a brie. and it felt good so i kept popping him and popping him and, i really got into it, you know? but he just has that kind of face. >> i'm kidding. i won't hurt you again. i won't. >> jimmy: don't do that. >> i'm sorry. you're sensitive. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the doctor said i'll be fine. thank you, ladies. and gentlemen. and now, with the emmys behind us, we turn our atengts tention new season of "dancing with the stars." they are calling it the all-stars, which is kind of funny because it basically admits that these stars on previous seasons weren't, but -- [ laughter ] . probably call it "dancing with the stars" who are bad at managing their savings, but -- [ laughter ] the lineup this season including pamela anderson, emmitt smith