jimmy kimmel is up next and we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> jimmy: there's no wrong way to spell it. i think even chewbacca is acceptable. >> dicky: ted danson. >> jimmy: you we're your handsome men's club tie. you got punched by a hooker? >> yeah. >> what did she say? . >> jimmy: i'm jimmy kimmel. please pay close attention to this word from american airlines. >> i'm guillermo. i love to travel on american airlines. their check-in service is the best. they really know how to take care of a big celebrity like me. they make check-in so easy. keep up the good work. >> hello, mr. rodriguez. >> hi, how are you? >> i checked you in and we also have a designated security line. >> you know how to take care of a celebrity. >> we offer this service to all of our celebrities. >> this is for you. i signed it just for you. >> thank you. can i assist you in finding your gate? >> no, it's okay. my personal assistant will take care of that. >> hi. >> enjoy a whole new level of comfort, connectivity and convenience only on american airlines. >> take care o

>> jimmy: it's me, jimmy kimmel. >> oh, jimmy kimmel. jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: how are you?> how are they hanging? >> jimmy: yeah, they're hanging fine. what's going on there? you having a party? >> we are celebrating diwali, our five-day festival of lights. >> happy diwali, jimmy. >> jimmy: happy diwali to you too. i was wondering if you have jokes about justin bieber and selena gomez breaking up. >> oh, yes, most undoubtedly. let me get our number one teller of jokes, roger. >> roger. >> jimmy: he's the best. >> by checking, click in and how -- >> roger, jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: roger, it's jimmy kimmel. >> bieber and gomez jokes tonight, hey. >> jimmy: happy diwali to you. we are very ready for jokes. >> why did selena gomez enter a -- end her relationship with justin bieber? >> jimmy: i don't know, why did selena gomez end her relationship with justin bieber? >> because she wasn't ready to have his baby, baby, baby, baby, oh. [ laughter ] >> sweet. sweet. right, just like this. >> jimmy: do you have any others? >> yeah, yeah. >> what did the doctors prescribe for justin b

>> jimmy: jimmy kimmel here with a message from downey unstoppables. the winner showing how fresh they can be got a visit to our show. after an exhaustive search, they found their winner. please say hello to charlie reeves. charlie, come on out. there he is. where are you from? >> i am from anaheim. happiest place on earth. >> jimmy: yeah. you got a trip all the way from anaheim. what a treat. there's another jimmy who would like to offer his congratulations as well. >> jimmy the intern here with a big congratulations to charlie reeves, our winner of the downy unstoppables 12 seconds of fame contest. stay fresh, everybody. >> jimmy: wow, you must be in shock. but the fun is not over yet. we also have a prize for you. dickey, tell charlie what he's won. >> dicky: he's won his very own home version of guillermo. >> what? [ applause ] >> jimmy: how about that. enjoy your guillermo. do whatever you want with him. charlie, everyone. >> dicky: downy unstoppables delivers 12 weeks of freshness. for more information, visit downy.com. "jimmy kimmel live" is bac

can you say hi to larry kimmel? say hi, larry kimmel. >> no! >> don't you want to share?no, you ate all my candy, though! >> hey, buddy, guess what? i'm just kidding. i didn't actually eat your candy. >> oh! every day this happens. >> there's always next halloween. >> no, i wanted to eat some candy today! >> that's not fair! we didn't get to eat any candy. >> where's my bag of candy that was up there? >> we're just kidding. >> mommy ate all of your candy last night. >> i don't want you to eat anymore of my candy. >> but it's gone! >> i'm so sorry, guys. i'm so sorry. can't we just -- can't we just go get new ones? >> no, we can't. we worked so hard for that candy. >> i never want to go out trick or treating again. >> i'm sorry, sierra, for eating all your candy. >> that's okay. >> all right. i love you. >> i love you, too. >> i ate it. >> that's all right. i just want you to feel happy. >> are you mad at me? >> no. >> you're not? >> no. i'm just sad. >> you're just sad. >> but the next halloween, we can share my candy. >> love you. >> i love you. >> jimmy: see? [ applause

rethink possible. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" that's the guy who getsork city? [ alarm chirps ] [ male announcer ] 'round here, there's only one word for salsa: pace. made the right way for that big bold kick. grab the southwest by the bottle. >> jimmy: on thursday night, america's tanning beds will ceremonially dim their lights in tribute to our next guests as "jersey shore" ends its six year run on mtv. please say hello to ronnie, sammi, jwoww, deena, pauly, vinny, mike, and snooki the cast of "jersey shore." ♪ >> jimmy: welcome, everybody. this feels like a graduation of kids who never actually went to school. i miss you guys already, i have to say. it's unbelievable. it went by like that, didn't it? >> it really did. >> four years. >> what's ironic is the world is ending and "jersey shore" is ending. >> jimmy: i don't think that's a coincidence. i don't think those are two unrelated incidents. you guys lived together. well, snooki, you had a baby. >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: have any of your friends changed the baby? >> changed him? no. >> i cha

. >>> hi, i'm jimmy kimmel. over the past few weeks, we've heard a number of celebrities speak about the helping parents to rock campaign. it's helped countless parents reconnect with their inner rocker. >> that's right, jimmy. it's even helped me rediscover my inner rock star. >> jimmy: you have an inner rock star? >> yes, roll the tape. hi, everybody, it's me, guillermo. i love my new hyundai santa fe. because it's very roomy and it has a lot of great safety features. this is perfect for my family. but it also helps me to rock. let's go, guys. let's rock a mole. oh, this hyundai is really great. ♪ ♪ i was born to rock and i was born to eat ♪ ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole ♪ my rock a mole is a real treat ♪ ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole ♪ you take some avocados and some spice ♪ ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole ♪ add some rock and roll ♪ it's very nice ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole >> hey, dude, you have to go pick up my son. >> all right. ♪ rock rock ♪ rock a mole >> yeah! >> dicky: the new santa fe from hyundai. proud sponsor of

>> yes, we're basically going to make the same m >> jimmy: i'm jimmy kimmel. american airlines is offering its fleet for a brand-new flying experience. here's guillermo with more. >> hi, guillermo here. i love to fly on an airplane. and the new boeing is the best. the best part is the seats. they lay flat. they're so cozy that i like to bring them with me wherever i go. can i get another drink? can i get another blanket. can i get a coffee? oh, thank you. you do a lot of exercise? hey, when do i eat? pizza. i love pizza. hi. w wow. >> enjoy a whole new level of comfort, connectivity, and convenience only on american airlines. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with leslie mann, ted, and music from sarah jaffe. ♪ i'll be home for christmas, ♪ you can count on me, ♪ i'll be home for christmas, ♪ if only in my dreams. >>> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, leslie mann, ted, music from sarah jaffe. with cleto and the cletones. and now, oh my golly, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you. thank you very much. i am the host of the show. thank

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> cleto: jimmy kimmel live! [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm jimmy. miami the host of the show. thanks to all of you coming out tonight. i appreciate that. i'm glad that you came out. i hope we can laugh a bit tonight after a horrible weekend. and -- i have trouble controlling my emotions but it's weird to do a show with so much sadness. i think the president said what needed to be said last night on television. i think he spoke beautifully. i just want the people in connecticut to know that we do not take what you're going through lightly and we are thinking about you a lot all of us even though we are at a talk show. so my job tonight is to give you a little break from being sad. and i will try my best to do that, all right? so -- you want to see some christmas lights shaped like a penis? we have video here. this is a crist mat light display in brighton england. i don't know how this happened or if it was accidental or intentional. but it would appear that if you stand directly under the lights a very familiar shape appears. i know you are supposed

>>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series sponsored by bud light.ances and other music videos, go to jimmykimmellive.com. >>> can't get enough kimmel? find highlights and more at abc.com. [ male announcer ] it's that time of year again. time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you really don't want to pay more than you have to. only citi price rewind automatically searches for the lowest price. and if it finds one, you get refunded the difference. just use your citi card and register your purchase online. have a super sparkly day! ok. [ male announcer ] now all you need is a magic carriage. citi price rewind. start saving at citi.com/pricerewind. crafted with a touch of whisky, wine, and beer by highly skilled chefs. yep, this is real. double barrel whisky sirloins and new napa chicken & portobellos, starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. >> jimm >> jimmy: still to come, dan deacon is here. up next, his show "happy endings" was just named one of the top ten shows of 2012, airs tuesday nights at 9:00 he

they're like this guy you might have seen on the jimmy kimmel show.p. oh yeah? i like sleeping during his act! please welcome mike birbiglia. i had to walk out like hey! and then i just needed a stool onstage to tell this one story about sleepwalking and it wasn't there when i walked on. and it was a tv taping, so i knew we could go back. i was like oh, can we stop, actually? i need like a stool. i was like oh, [ bleep ]. and everyone stared at me. and i realized that i had cursed in front of the muppets. you're not allowed to curse in front of the muppets, like at all. i think that's why they booked me because i don't usually curse onstage. >> jimmy: so what happened? >> so they reintroduced me. and then i came on and the audience turned on me. i'm like bombing. like on the muppet shop is just the opposite of a dream come true. when you're a kid you're like maybe someday i'll get to muppets. you're never like someday i'll be on the muppets, i'll be on their show and then i'll bomb and then they'll hate me. it was like i wish it had never happened. it

>>> hi, jimmy kimmel here letting you know subway is ready to cater the next event wchl holiday parties in full swing you can't go wrong with the flavor craver, the classic combo and since we're at our holiday party right now, i think now would be the perfect time for me to give you your gift. >> okay, jimmy. >> here it is. the subway three-foot giant sub. >> wow, a three-foot giant sub from subway, my favorite. thank you, jimmy, you are so very, very, very generous. >> you deserve it, buddy. >> i got a present for you, too. >> you do? >> yeah. >> wow! >> thank you. >> put it down a little bit. >> so you can read the teleprompter. >> exactly. yes. that is the subway six-foot giant sub. >> thank you. it. >> is bigger than the one you gave me. >> yeah, i see that. >> it is three foot bigger. >> yes, i can see. >> it is twice as big. >> yeah, i get it. you got me a better gift than i got you. i'm embarrassed and sorry. >> don't feel bad, jimmy. christmas is not just about stuff. it's about friendship. >> thank you for saying that, pal. i feel the same way. merry christmas. >> merry christm

and now, all i know is, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome.i'm the host of the show. thank you very much. thank you for being here tonight. i hope you had a nice thanksgiving weekend. thanksgiving is the day we get together to give thanks for all we have, but most of all, it's about going home to your family and doing dirty things in your childhood bed. it's fun to travel on thanksgiving. a lot of fun. we came home yesterday. the lady at the gate at the st. louis airport wouldn't let us carry on our carry-on bag even though we did it in 80 flights in a row, but that didn't faze here, don't worry bags last, come out first, your bags will wait for you by the time you i get off the plane. as in that has ever happened. to anyone. what did do you for -- guillermo calls it gracias giving. >> guillermo: my mom cooked chicken. >> jimmy: your mother cooked chicken? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: in the past you went to the fast food place and bought chicken. why did you make chick then year, your mom? >> guillermo: we went to chinatown and bought two ch

and then tell jimmy kimmel to stuff it. a special message from the american fred cross. fred! [ cheers and applause ] what do you have to say for yourself now? >> jimmy: it's unfriend. >> what? >> jimmy: it's unfriend, like national unfriend day, it's -- >> unfriend? >> jimmy: yeah, like on facebook. >> oh. >> jimmy: to get back to unfriend people that they aren't -- >> i feel a bit foolish. >> jimmy: this is the third year we've done this. >> it sounds like a very good idea. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. nothing to do with fred at all. >> oh, that's a relief. thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: well, thank you. >> do you mind if i hang out in the green room? they have great meat balls back there. >> jimmy: enjoy. stay as long as you like. >> i didn't want to do this. i feel much better about this. >> jimmy: un -- ah -- i had no idea that was going to happen. [ laughter ] in business news, hostess, the company that makes twinkies, wonder bread, that sort of thing, is in big financial trouble right now. hostess filed chapter 11 back in ja

>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- samuel l. jackson. the cast of "jersey shore." and music from ed sheeran with cleto and the cletones and now, right down santa claus lane here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: hello, everyone. how are you? thank you. it's very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining me. here in los angeles, home of your favorite stars. it's good to have you here. christmas in hollywood is beautiful, isn't it? it reminds me of switzerland. but instead of snow, we have dirty superheroes. we are in the thick of the holiday season. i believe there are only 371 shopping days until next christmas, and this christmas is even sooner than that. it's only six days away. i do the bulk of my shopping online. mostly because of that mariah carey christmas song. they know there are other songs they can play in public, right? mariah carey must have dirt on whoever owns the mall. when you shop online, a lot of places won't give you boxes. baby gap will give you one box for every three items you

rethink possible. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" sponsored by bud light.other music videos, go to jimmykimmellive.com. says who? change can be difficult. i love my phone. yeah, she loves her phone. you could keep your phone and number. but for half of what we pay now. half? i don't love our family plan. it doesn't mean i don't love you. welcome to the next generation of family plans. fifty dollars the first line, 40 dollars each new line with unlimited everything. visit net10wireless.com. this season, give craftsman tools and give the gifts that keep on giving. craftsman. guys' favorites guaranteed. find it at sears. a delicious new way to get essential vitamins you need. just bite into the tasty shell... to a chewy vitamin core for a unique multivitamin sensation! new centrum flavor burst. in♪ ducingue grey goose cherry noir! ♪ ♪ ♪ that's the guy who gets his salsa from new york city. new york city? [ alarm chirps ] [ male announcer ] 'round here, there's only one word for salsa: pace. made the right way for that big bold kick. grab the southwest by the b

>> jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: i would love that. we'll take a break.the rest of the show. tracy morgan is a genius, he's a funny guy. i'll sit there, i'll make faces, maybe i'll even make out with him. we'll see what happens. >> jimmy: that would be great. >> and when we come back, tracy will be sitting here. i'll -- you sit there -- >> jimmy: that seems like a terrible idea. >> we'll be back from brooklyn. your mouth has been sipping, snacking, yellowing. nutcracking, gift stacking, yellowing. mistletoe'ing, ho ho ho'ing, yellowing. and every holiday season, your teeth have been yellowing. fact is if you're not whitening, you're yellowing. crest 3d white whitestrips remove over 10 years of stains, and whiten 25 times better than a leading whitening toothpaste. crest. life opens up when you do. in a hurry? try 2 hour express whitestrips, just in time for a white holiday. it's so great to see you. you, too! oh, cloudy glasses. you didn't have to come over! actually, honey, i think i did... oh? you did? whoa, ladies, easy. hi. cascade kitchen counselor.

the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series sponsored by bud light.stream off-air performances and other music performances, go to jimmykimmellive.com. search jimmy kim nel the itunes app store to get it now. sadly, their brother's white christmas just got "blacked out." [ brother ] but it's the family party! really jingles your bells, doesn't it? my gift to you! the capital one venture card! for any flight, any time! that's double miles you can actually use! how illuminating. what's in your wallet? let me guess, am i on the naughty list again? ho ho ho! crafted with a touch of whisky, wine, and beer by highly skilled chefs. yep, this is real. double barrel whisky sirloins and new napa chicken & portobellos, starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. it's not for colds, it's not for pain, it's just for sleep. because sleep is a beautiful thing. ♪ zzzquil, the non-habit forming sleep-aid from the makers of nyquil. mcdonald's tender, juicy chicken mcnuggets in spicy buffalo and creamy ranch sauce. just $4.99 for 20 of your favorite chicken mcnuggets. more way

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series sponsored by bud light.d other music videos go to jimmykimmellive.com. starting january 8th, watch "jimmy kimmel live" at 11:35/10:35 central when jimmy's guests will be jennifer aniston, ryan gosling, sofia vergara, and dr. oz. plus music from no doubt, brad paisley, and bruno mars. break the news gently. we need to leave our contract plan for net10 wireless. what? says who? change can be difficult. i love my phone. yeah, she loves her phone. you could keep your phone and number. but for half of what we pay now. half? i don't love our family plan. it doesn't mean i don't love you. welcome to the next generation of family plans. fifty dollars the first line, 40 dollars each new line with unlimited everything. visit net10wireless.com. [ male announcer ] everyone loves to dunk. ♪ [ game announcer ] will he dunk it? yes, he will. [ male announcer ] mcdonald's tender, juicy chicken mcnuggets in creamy ranch and spicy buffalo sauce. just $4.99 for 20 of your favorite chicken mcnuggets. ♪ [ game announcer ] will h

>> jimmy: hi, jimmy kimmel here, with a special announcement from downy. unstoppables the in-wash scent booster that keeps your laundry fresh for up to 12 weeks. the brave men and women at downy have been asking people to send videos of themselves showing how "fresh" they can be the winner got a trip to la and a visit to our show and, after an exhaustive search, they found their winner and he's here with us tonight please say hello to charlie reeves. charlie, come on out. [ cheers and applause ] where are you from? >> i'm from anaheim. happiest place on earth. >> jimmy: yeah. oh, you got a trip all the way from anaheim. >> all the way from anaheim. >> jimmy: there's another jimmy who would like to offer his congratulations as well. >> hey, jimmy the intern here with a big congratulations to charlie reeves, our winner of the downey unstoppables 12 seconds of fame contest. great job. stay fresh, everybody. >> jimmy: wow. you must be in shock. but the fun's not over. we also have a prize for you. dickey, tell charlie what he's won. >> dicky: he's won his very

>> "jimmy kimmel live" coming up >> "jimmy kimmel live" coming up next >>> ho ho ho, santa jimmy here. i love the holiday season. there's nothing more gratifying than bringing a smile to a child's dirty face. bring in the little angels, will you? come on, in little angels. well, hello little boy, what would you like for christmas? >> i want a bunch of stuff and you better give it to me, i have a list for you, okay? >> oh, boy. >> i want some nikkei none headphones, a power drill, a -- >> a what? >> a deluxe bundle, sport video games, and some cheese balls and the i want them now. >> jimmy: i'm afraid that i see you're on the naughty list so i won't be able to give you any of those things this year. but walmart is america easily gift headquarters so they've got all that stuff on your list covered and more at everyday low prices so i suggest you get off my lap and tell your mommy to take you there, okay? >> no, i'm not getting off till i get a present. >> jimmy: i'll give you whatever you want, stop bouncing. please bring in the present! >> merry christmas! >> jimmy: merry christmas. i

with cleto and the cletones. ♪ it's jimmy kimmel live and now, not for nothing here's jimmy kimmel!heers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. well, that's very kind. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. we are -- [ cheers and applause ] that's very nice, thank you. fine, i'll stay. thank you very much. that's very nice of you. we are live at the harden theater at the brooklyn academy of music -- [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate it. and thank you for taking time away from your food co-op advisory boards to be here tonight. this is our third night here in brooklyn. the weather is getting better. people are becoming more enthusiastic. when i woke up this morning, it was sunny and beautiful. here's the funny thing about the local news in new york. as soon as the weather is nice, the reporters go right back indoors. [ laughter ] i'm happy to be here either way. honestly, i'm just happy to be on the same drinking schedule as kathie lee and hoda. hey, where is my little hoda? oh, there he is. [ cheers and applause ] welcome, guillermo. he's been in that c

>>> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series sponsored by bud light.formances, go to jimmykimmellive.com. [ male announcer ] applebee's new spirited cuisine. crafted with a touch of whisky, wine, and beer by highly skilled chefs. yep, this is real. double barrel whisky sirloins and new napa chicken & portobellos, starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. that there's the guy who gets his salsa from new york city. new york city?! [ male announcer ] only pace has that big, bold kick. anything else just ain't right. pace. grab the southwest by the bottle. how much is your current phone bill? four sixteen seventy six a month! okay, come with me -- we're gonna save you money. with straight talk at walmart, you get unlimited talk, text and data for only $45 a month per phone. would we get the same coverage? same coverage on america's best networks. you saved $146.76 by switching to straight talk. awesome! now you can afford to share your allowance with me. get the season's hottest smartphones like the samsung galaxy s2 and get straight talk with unlimited data fo

jimmy kimmel is next. we'll see you here tomorrow. good night. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i'm hoping that obama announces this will be the black half of his presidency. >> dicky: john goodman. >> jimmy: have you ever actually emptied a mini bar on your own? >> you bet. >> dicky: hayden panettiere. >> jimmy: i would not want to be paul ryan's shake weight >> great job delivering all the presents, elf. i think it's time for a break. >> not yet, boss. i have the secret santa. >> oh, right, secret santa. >> i got you again this year. >> wow! a samsung galaxy note 2. it's got the best of both, a tablet and a phone. >> the best of both, a tablet and a phone. >> i think i just said that. but the samsung galaxy note 2 is just the thing for santas like me. i can make my list and i can shake it twice with the s pen. and when someone finds kids being naughty, they can share them by just touching and using the s beam. and watching the videos on the huge screen make it easy to see just how naughty they are. this is the best gif

jimmy kimmel right here next. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- jon stewart and stephen colbert.met on j-date? did you know? >> cousin sal's halloween in brooklyn. >> yay, you did it! all right, open your bag. there you go. >> and music from the avett brothers, with the brooklyn philharmonic. ♪ "jimmy kimmel live," coming up next.

. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live." >> tonight i returned to save my people from the storm. >> howard stern. >> i took over the chair in the middle of the show. i'm having a good time. i like it here in brooklyn. it's fun. >> tracy morgan. they are doing that because i probably owe them money. >> and

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>> hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching and thanks for showing up. i tell you something, we were off last week. it's starting to get christmassy around here. the fake wreaths are hanging. the lattes at starbucks are spiced. the holidays are upon us and won't get off us. it's time to start practicing your pretending to like a gift face. christmas is a major operation for me. i buy hundreds of gifts and i buy them all myself. people think i have an assistant. i do but he doesn't do anything for me. he does some things for me, believe me. but he's having a baby. i went to costco this weekend. it was a two-cart weekend for costco. people were asking if i worked there. i move things like i'm one of the employees. leaving costco my truck was packed to tightly i could see out the front and 1/18 out of the window in the back and the truck was almost completely packed with alcohol. it was. something -- if someone had rear ended me i wouldn't h

live. >> i like jimmy kimmel, and the fans. this is pacquiao's seventh appearance on the talk show. >> going to be good. [ applause ] >> now, the last time you were here, you had announced that you had quit drinking. you quit gambling and you quick cock fighting. and then, for the first time in 7 years, you lost the fight. i don't think that you actually lost the fight, but technically they said you lost the fight. will you go back to drinking, gambling and cock fighting? >> no. no. >> no. >> jimmy is a funny guy and just the way he speaks, you will laugh. >> and on this night, the host has a surprise presentation for the viewing audience. >> i like jimmy kimmel, and the fans. i like to go the sunday before the fight. this is pacquiao's seventh appearance on the talk show. >> going to be good. [ applause ] >> now, the last time you were here, you had announced that you had quit drinking. you quit gambling and you quick cock fighting. and then, for the first time in 7 years, you lost the fight. i don't think that you actually lo

jimmy kimmel is up next and we'll see you here tomorrow. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- no wrong way to spell it. i think even chewbacca is acceptable. >> dicky: ted danson. >> jimmy: you we're your handsome men's club tie. you got punched by a hooker? >> yeah. >> what did she say?

. >>> up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live" live. >> hanukkah ended at sundown.seemed like it went on longer than hobbit. >> hugh jackman, jenna fischer. and 2 chainz. >> my name is jimmy kimmel and you stole the covers off my daughter's prius and you will pay for

jimmy kimmel is next. a great weekend. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> when the food comes out on thanksgiving, i eat like the cookie monster. i don't eat. i just grab the hafood with my hands and smash it all over my face. >> tim allen. >> we had an aunt that would come to the kid's table and say, you know, your uncle george? never touches me. >> manny pacquiao. and "unnecessary censorship."

jimmy kimmel is next and we'll see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i thinkis the best time of the year to get into a knife fight over a parking spot at target. >> dicky:s rel >> dicky: leslie mamn. >> i think you might have the plague. >> are there any plans to make "ted 2"? >> yes, we're basically going to

jimmy kimmel is next. have a safe weekend. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- reba mcentire.een doing? >> might be a little awkward because this is the first time that mike and reba have been in the same room together since they broke up. >> and the winner of "dancing with the stars," melissa rycroft. >> now that "dancing with the stars" is over, i don't know what to watch. when does football come back? it is back? oh, my. i think i might need a

jimmy kimmel is up next.e'll see you here tomorrow. >>> up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> the company said if they didn't come to work by thursday, they would liquidate, which actually sounds delicious. >> eric stonestreet. >> stone street sounds drunk onstage. i was like, i was not drunk, i was tipsy. >> do you work on thanksgiving? >> absolutely not. i'm an american! >>

now. >> i am jimmy kimmel and you are watching on the red carpet. >> welcome to on the red carpet from nokia plaza live in los angeles. i'm rachel smith we'll got you to the red carpet in a

jimmy kimmel is next. we'll see you here tomorrow.mmy kimmel live" -- kelly ripa. >> i feel like you should do the show here always. >> i would like to. >> i feel like -- >> it's pretty awesome. >> a special appearance by chris rock. jimmy's youtube challenge. >> we had lots of candy! that was not fair! >> well done. >> and music from alicia keys. ♪ this girl is on fire

jimmy kimmel, right here, next. >>> tonight on jimmy kimmel live. david letterman. >> what can i do for you? that you haven't been able to do for yourself? >> live with me for a month. >> jimmy at a brooklyn barbershop. >> what do you think of mitt romney's hair? >> i don't like it. >> look at you. >> and music from vampire weekend. >> do you like carrots? >> no. >> you don't?

jimmy kimmel is next. we'll see you here tomorrow. good night. >> dicky: up next on "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> i'm hoping that obama announces this will be the black half of his presidency. >> dicky: john goodman. >> jimmy: have you ever actually emptied a mini bar on your own? >> you bet. >> dicky: hayden panettiere. >> jimmy: i would not want to be paul ryan's shake weight

. >> jimmy kimmel talks late night what.to say about a newñ time slot. >> at 4:18 a live look at golden gate bridge. traffic head nootd city, smooth sailing there. going nicely. stay with us, more still to come on abc 7 news at 4:00. >>> well, after months of rumors, speculation, simon cowel says he is dating former bay watch star carmen electra. he was interviewed during a radio program. pair have been spotted together dining in past few months. that fueled gossip about the two being an item, now, it's confirm i'd suspected it. >> yes. you're so tight with both of them. >> yes. >> jimmy kimmel gearing up for his new late night spot and a new miss universe is crowned. >> world has a new celebrity today. she's not an actress or singer, z >> for thewbv÷ first time in 15 years, an american has been crowned miss universe. 20-year-old olivia colpo representing miseriry in the miss usa pageant. she's a sophomore at boston university there. is a new baby in the celebrity world. claire danes and actor hugh dancey welcome aid baby bo

and now, believe me when i tell you, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello. thank you. i appreciate it. thank you. hello, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for visiting. it is appreciated. and i just want to say one thing and get it out of the way. as of tonight, as of this minute it is no longer okay to ask people how their thanksgiving was. all right? you missed the cut-off. you can now start asking people what they're planning to do for christmas, so -- what a weird show we have for you tonight. our guests tonight are reba mcentire, mike tyson, the "dancing with the stars" champions, and music from future. it might be a little awkward because it is the first time mike and reba have been in the room together since they broke up. [ laughter ] mike tyson is here from his live one-man show called mike tyson, undisputed truth. it's two hours of him saying the words "undisputed truth" over and over again and it's worth every nickel. before we get to all that,

live. >> i like jimmy kimmel, and the fans. this is pacquiao's seventh appearance on the talk show. >> going to be good. [ applause ] >> now, the last time you were here, you had announced that you had quit drinking. you quit gambling and you quick cock fighting. and then, for the first time in 7 years, you lost the fight. i don't think that you actually lost the fight, but technically they said you lost the fight. will you go back to drinking, ga gambling and cock fighting? >> no. no. >> no. >> jimmy is a funny guy and just the way he speaks, you will laugh. >> and on this night, the host has a surprise presentation for the viewing audience. >> originally you were not supposed to fight marquez, you were supposed to fight another prominent fighter. i believe we have video from the great hbo documentary series, 24/7, let's take a look. >> five years ago, two men set out to seek power. the kind of power that begats money. >> i was supposed to fight him three times, but he keeps voiding me. he said he did not get invitation for th