no-- kosta, kosta-- dude, you can't drink alcohol at work. >> don't tell me what to do, work dad, all? plus, don't worry. it's nonalcoholic. heineken, zero-zero. now you can. ( laughter ) >> trevor: hold up. hold up. did you just do a beer ad in the middle of my show? >> yeah, and i'm keeping all the profits, because the mueller report said i can. >> trevor: dude, the mueller report didn't say that. >> oh, did you read it in the last five second. >> trevor: no, i didn't. >> "no, i didn't." that's what you sound like. ( laughter ) hey do your-- do your dimples ever, like, switch, you know? if they go in on the outside, do they go out on the inside? ( laughter ). >> trevor: what, kosta-- if that beer is nonalcoholic, why are you acting so weird, man? >> well, i may have been huffing some paint earlier, which you're not supposed to do but, you know, mueller said it's cool. ( laughter ) wink. i think i'm going to pass out. >> trevor: okay, we need a doctor. michael kosta, everybody. we need a doctor. no, this is good. this is bad. this is good. this is good. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ what

>> trevor: michael kosta, everyone! we'll be right back! cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ you tired, huh? ♪ nba superstar, huh? ♪ gatorade zero. all the electrolytes. zero sugar. get more out of zero. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! today is the first day of march madness and, for full coverage in the world of sports, we turn to roy wood, jr. and ronny chieng with another edition of i apologize for talking while you were talking. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> oh, man! ronny chieng! that's the wrong ball! i apologize for talking while you're talking. march madness is here, ronny, can you feel the excitement? no one is doing their job today. everyone is watching basketball. if north korea wanted to nuke us now, this is the time to do it, no one would even notice. >> kim jong un from downtown! yes, he nuked downtown! finally, some parking spaces. >> ronny, i know you filled out your bracket. only question to ask, who you got winning this year. >> capitalism, roy. capitalism wins every year. this whole tournament is

>> trevor: michael kosta, everyone! we'll be right back! cheers and applause ) the latest innovation from xfinity isn't just a store. it's a save more with a new kind of wireless network store. it's a look what your wifi can do now store. a get your questions answered by awesome experts store. it's a now there's one store that connects your life like never before store. the xfinity store is here. and it's simple, easy, awesome. ♪ oh, pete!?! c'mon man. what? we said pantyhose right? here, eat this... creamy snickers®. you could use a little smoothness. pete? pete zagorin? get smooth with the fresh-ground nut butters in new creamy snickers®. i'll take is pepsi ok? is pepsi, ok? is pepsi, ok!? [laughter] are puppies, ok? is a shooting star, ok? is the laughter of a small child, ok? pepsi's more than, ok! it's okayyyy okurrrr ♪ i like it okay, what have we learned today? you want a pepsi? i want a pepsi. there you go. okurrr. aaahh. i've got to come up with my own catch phrase. okayyy ever notice how hard it is to clean impossible kitchen and

the cool side of the pillow question, robert kosta.ho is trump most in the middle of the night worried about running against? >> i can't speak to his inner mindset, but we're talking about white house officials. they say he's paying attention to vice president biden. someone who could actually in his view compete in a significant way in the industrial western states and he also has respect when he's talking candidly to his friends for movement style politicians like senator sanders, like congressman o'rourke. he also saw the big crowds for senator harris in california keeping an eye on her as well. >> thank you so much. looks like biden's the one that's knocking at his window at night. shannon, thank you for being here tonight. caroline, thank you. robert kosta, of course. >>> still ahead, will congress get to see the entire mueller report for themselves? they are elected to watch this president. will attorney general barr be called to testify? i think it's up to the supreme court, and you know what we think about that. we'll be right

kostas insight it has been twenty four hours since brussels he's covered less than two hundred kilometers post breaks it this could become a daily reality. look at the rest of the world's business news trade negotiations between the u.s. and china resume in beijing today and investors seem to see light at the end of the tunnel asian shares gained up to three percent on the last trading day of the week after positive comments from the negotiating teams following a meeting with chinese vice premier li lu he u.s. treasury secretary steve nugent said china made proposals on forced technology transfers and a range of other issues that go further than before china also pledged to liberalize financial markets and expand access for bank securities and insurance companies. profits. twenty five percent with sales rising above one hundred billion dollars. consumer and enterprise sales both of which sold double digit growth. reflecting the u.s. government's pressure. to avoid using huawei equipment in their five g. network infrastructure that could be used by the chinese government by the us is also

>> trevor: michael kosta and desi lydic, everybody! we'll be right back! cheers and applause ) so, you're open all day, that's what 24/7 means, sugar. kind of like how you get 24/7 access to licensed agents with geico. hmm? yeah, you just go online, or give them a call anytime. you don't say. yep. now what will it take to get 24/7 access to that lemon meringue pie? pie! pie's coming! that's what it takes, baby. geico®. great service from licensed agents, 24/7. starburst? juicedratic equation. super top-secret mathematical formula they keep stored inside a safe, inside a vault, inside a volcano. ahhh. juicedratics. starburst. unexplainably juicy. brushing only reaches 25% of your mouth. listerine® cleans virtually 100%. helping to prevent gum disease and bad breath. never settle for 25%. always go for 100. bring out the bold™ ♪ hmmm all these websites say it's normal to start shaving at age 15. ♪ i'm a man ♪ i spell m-a-n, man, aww, man ♪ ♪ i spell m-a-n, man, aww, man ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." as we come to the

college admission scandal we are joined by a man who spineds most of his time on college campus, michael kosta, everybody. (applause) >> as a college expert i would love to know what are your thoughts. >> yeah, well, trevor, this is the biggest college scandal since i was kicked off my a capella team for quote unquote bringing a gun to rehearsal. they love their rules. ♪ but i will tell you what, the whole thing just makes it clear to me that we need affirmative action. >> trevor: i agree, michael, we need affirmative action because that would help mine order students compete against these well connected families. >> no, no, no, no you moron am i mean we need affirmative action for dumb rich kids. because if we stop letting wealthy parents bribe colleges then their kids won't be able to get in and dumb rich kids are just as important to campus die versity as any other minority. sure, black and asian students add new perspectives, but without spenszer the trust fund baby, who is going to ride a wheelchair off significant ma chai roof screaming lines from anchorman. without dumb rich kids, who i

>> trevor: michael kosta and desi lydic, everybody! we'll be right back!d applause ) evyou're stuck celebratingng janet's birthday with a slice of office sad cake. ditch the downers. get to b-dubs. order beers and crush all the wings. that's! march! madness! buffalo wild wings. roaarrr! and then you woke up... dinglittle. [ screaming ] i don't know what you did. you did something. crazy little chucky doll. that girl she was waving that dumb wand and wished i was little. wishes don't come true. if they did i would be on maternity leave with michael b. jordan's baby by now. can't believe i'm back in this hell hole. there's your teacher. ah, i would like to teach him some things. what are you going to teach him in that scrawny flat body? at least i'm not dried up like a drought down there. just a dusty bed of rocks where water once flowed. ok, stop. the undisputed champs, tundran and tacoma!. and in this corner, the reigning rulers of the road! let's get ready for spriiiiinnng! not bad. ready for a great deal? let's do iiiiiit! so good. what makes an amazing

south bay, into fremont as well as the tri-valley, but it will be heavier for much of contracontrast kosta county, but even with this amount of rain, it doesn't look like we'll see the major flooding event like we had last week. this is the russian river at guerneville. we saw that going over 45 inches. well, this week looks like it stays below flood stage at 23 feet, i should say, for that flood event that was last week. so here we are with some off and on showers. by friday, it does taper off, and we're looking at our inland areas, in the upper 50s by friday. that's our day to get outside. there will be scattered showers on saturday, and then on sunday, as we spring forward, it would be in the upper 50s, low 60s early next week. >>> heading over to mike, you're tracking rain and a new crash. >> i'll refrayed. we're not springing forward, we lose an hour of sleep. looking forward to the rain coming in. there's storm ranger, so that's what it looks like for the radar at the lowest level. over here we're also showing you the road weather index where it translates what the weather is like, a