a five-day holiday starting today on dontera, celebrated on the 13th lunar day of krishna paksha of theindu calendar month of ushwin. celebrated on the second lunar day of the hindu calendar month of partheek. you know, duali. (cheers and applause) folks, we've all already been bombarded by duali commercials for weeks now. at least until we've taken down the vijay dashami decorations. dali is when hindu families light clay lamps and set firecrackers to scare away evil spirits and occasionally fingers. (laughter) they may come to an end because the indian president is calling for a pollution free diwali with bangalore asking citizens to refrain fire from fireworks after 10:00 p.m. to limit air and noise pollution. folks, my tandoori pot doth boil over with rage paneer. so i'm giving a wag of my finger to the president of india. folks, this jerk is just another liberal non-believer ruining the true meaning of diwali. first they took the christ out of christmas. next they're taking the christ out of diwali. i'm pretty sure he's in there someplace. these people worship a lot of gods. they'r