- i'm jayden kwapis. very warm hand. - aren't you a little old for the name jayden?noticing. i'm actually one of the oldest jaydens you'll ever meet. born in 1981, i like to think i might be the original jayden. [chuckles] it's sort of a combination. i'm named after my father, jaime, and his best friend, dennis. - yeah, orly, your phone's out here, so i know you're gonna cave eventually. - stop controlling my narrative! - okay, councilwoman meskimen has the disabled community pretty fired up over the straw ban. - i hadn't thought of that. all right, all right. all right, uh, i will personally donate steel straws to anyone who needs one, okay? - great. - sweetheart, look. look, look, honey. - who is this guy? and why is he wearing flip-flops with a suit? - they're prescription. i have podiatric claustrophobia. - okay, kwapis, look, just have somebody from the environmental council say how good the straw ban is. - yeah, it turns out those folks are upset too because choking on plastic straws is an unofficial cost-free way to control the coyote population. without the s

i play jayden kwapis in this i think he's enough of a weirdo for all of my "snl" needs of playing lotseth: jayden kwapis is a fantastic name >> not so bad. >> seth: a carlock and tina fey -- robert carlock and tina fey special >> yeah. >> seth: which leads to a great joke in the pilot about the name jayden but, bobby, i don't need to tell you you've long been a lover of crazy names for characters >> i love crazy names. i'm no james anderson. james anderson makes up the best names in the world, but i am a fan of insane names. yes. >> seth: these are just some characters you played on "snl. we collected -- riblet >> correct >> seth: you played ass dan and his identical twin brother do you remember ass dan's twin brother? >> butt dave yeah, it was supposed to be jeff bridges, but it wasn't, it was me [ laughter ] >> seth: you played slappy pappy and janet peckenpaw. you played nif what was "nif" short for >> kennif. [ laughter ] that was a neal casey original kennif -- yeah, niff was short for kennif >> seth: kirby j. buttercream, trash yard mutt. you played a character named danny cartoo