hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7...happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. hey, hey, hey! i want 500 automatic rifles in my hands by the end of the day, understand? hello, gregor. hey, baby. (sniffs) mmm. glad to see you free again. come. i wanna show you something. so... how'd you get out of jail so quickly? salas: they released me pending a hearing. or perhaps you gave them something. i gave them nothing. what is this? i believe this is known as a shallow grave. who's it for? that depends. on what? on you. go on. you have to prove your loyalty, baby. new contract, new target. who? ivan. ivan sarnoff. i want a body in this grave by sundown. his... or yours. sarnoff. citywide dragnet in place. mr. wolfe. we collected sarnoff's plate from prison. turns out it was laced with rodifical. rat poison. three times the level needed for human toxicity. the call for medical attention went out three hours ago,

. ♪ i'm cool like that hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computered happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. if your kids can go onward and upward, no matter what. if you get side-lined from wrk. insuring your family's ifs can be confusing. so metlife removed the guesswork. combining two essential !insurances... term life and disability... n one affordable package. creating a personal safety net that's bursting with guarantees. for the if in life, find out how to start rotecting your family today. visit the term life and disabiity tool at metlife.com. get it fast. sarah! you're home! (announcer) on the nation's fastest 3g network. at&t. modern makeup bthat bends trends... super effective skin care... flawless faces everywhere... beauty today... it's all your way! want it? try it free at our virtual makeover. or contact your own mary kay independent beauty consultant. find it all at marykay.com. >>> kind of warm for a sweatshirt, isn't it? >> it gets

hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7...pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. (announcer) spit our your stride gum and chew another piece, already! or we'll find you. got the gum. (announcer) .the ridiculously long lasting .gum ® new stride ® uber bubble ™ . further. ♪ >>> hi, there, we are back. with us tonight from the new show "modern family," premieres wednesday on abc, oh ed o'neill and sofia vergara will join us. it's banner night for beautiful colombian women, this is her new album "she wolf" that comes out in october, next month. shakira is with us from the pontiac garage outdoor stage. next week, join us with david duchovny, courtney cox, rob lowe, and t the first castoff fm "dancing with the stars." which would not be donny osmond, i can personally guarantee e th. our first guest folled he eyebrow into acting and since then he's appeared in 50 movies, each of which'll name at the end of the show. he'll star tuesday in

hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7.... happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- rob lowe. comedian lisa lampanelli. tommy lasorda from the feast of san gennaro. jimmy attempts the world's largest meatball. and competitive pizza throwing. with cleto and the cletones. and now, not for nothing, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> nice to see you, hi, everyone. i'm jimmy. that's very kind, i'm the host of the show. i'm glad you're excited but a -- because this is -- this is a good night for enthusiasm. a very special night here in hollywood. it's first night of the l.a. feast of san gennaro. our eighth annual charity event, goes on all weekend. it's in back of our theater every year. san gennaro for those who don't know is the patron saint of chest hair and colognes. and jewelry. [ laughter ] and yo

hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7.... happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. got a wet pet .in your house? febreze air effects liminates odors in the air and leaves ! a fresh scent. febreze, official air freshener of the nfl. what if we could put an end... to that prickly feeling between shaves? ♪ new dove visiblysmooth anti-perspirant. makes hair look and feel less noticeable over time... so you feel stubble-free for longer. yeah. me, too. how sick is the web browsing ? all the apps, gps, video... yeah... you didn't get your blackberry with the verizon network, did you ? no. sorry. so it doesn't work here, does it ? no, but... paperweight mode. all right. now get a blackberry at our lowest prices ever, like the storm, for just $49.99, plus get another free. blackberry runs better on america's largest 3g network. verizon wireless. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- fro

hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7...happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. here's another "nattyism" with natty light. to y's word is "naturday." ur at"nday." the mostwesomest day of one's week. whooo-hooo! as in... with his stocked mini-fridge... and super sweet female friend, pedro was looking at a real nice naturday. natty light. w no yoretano '.k >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- nick cannon. former illinois governor rod blagojevich. and music from white lies. with cleto and the cletones. and now, while we're at it, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> thanks. i'm jimmy. that's very nice. you know what, if it wasn't for the swine flu i'd kiss every one of you on the mouth. i really would. well, the new nfl season kicked off tonight with the super bowl champion pittsburgh steelers hosting the tennessee titans. today is or w

. >> kylie, thank you. and could your baby be any cuter? oh, my gosh. do you have somebody in the service? go to cnn.com/robin so we can help you salute them. >>> iran's president is denying the holocaust and says he's proud of it. mahmoud ahmadinejad made the speech on friday. it's not the first time he said it. now he's telling a state-run agency that he's proud it's upsetting so many international leers. he arrives in the u.s. this week to attend meetings at the u.n. >>> the odds are astounding. two guys that work together didn't know that they were brothers. >> people are saying we look like brothers and we would go on deliveries together for the last month and a half and we keep getting it. >> new for you in about 25 minutes, how they figured out that they're brothers. >>> all right. do you eat certain yogurt for taste or because what the label says it will do? a yogurt you may be eating may not be all that it's cracked up to be. jennifer westhoven is here with that story. >> this is not your regular story, robin. >> we've been having a little fun

hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7.... happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. your old mop will just have to get over it... [ engine rattles ] [ man ] love stinks! ♪ love stinks! [ female announcer ] new swiffer wet jet is redesigned. it cleans deep in corners. its solution penetrates layers of dirt and its absorbent pad locks it away the newly redesigned swiffer wet jet. ♪ love stinks! >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- david duchovny. from the denver nuggets, carmelo anthony. a special appearance by gilles marini. and music from kid cue city. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay right where you are, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by abc, inc. >> hi, everyone. hello, honkies. [ laughter ] and those of other ethnic groups that are here with us tonight. hey, you know what? today is or -- or tuesday was the first day of fall. summer i

♪ hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7.rds... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. like a mighty meatball marinara or... cculent black forest ham & cheese. stacked your way from the bread up... with the meats, cheeses, and veggies you want. your flavor's on! subway. eat fresh. >>> go go go go go go! >> what are you, a cheerleader? [ cheers and applause ] >>> gerard butler in the new movie "gamers". you play -- what do you play in "gamers"? i know you're like a video game character, but you're a real person. >> i'm a real person set in the near future where humans can be controlled within the game. so you've got to basically where -- we're convicts and on death row, but we have a choice to go into the game where we're controlled by at-home players and it's taken on a global dimension. i mean, everyone wants to watch it. like halo or call of duty. >> right. >> but with real human -- human avatars. >> a cool idea. you

cumming next, there he is in the bud light lime greenroom. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi, my name is kylie happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. new carefree ultra protection liners, with wings! absorb ten times more, like a pad but feel thin and comfy, like a liner. new carefree® ultra protection™ even more freedom to the freest country on earth. so why should you be penalized for talking to someone, just because they're on another network. shouldn't you be able to call any mobile... on any network, at any time? it's a free country. knock yourself out. announcer: introducing the revolutionary any mobile, anytime. now on the sprint network you're free to call 250 million mobile phones nationwide without worrying about the meter running. only from sprint. the now network. deaf, hard of hearing and people with speech disabilities access www.sprintrelay.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my next guest is an award-winning star of stage and screen, whether he's on br

hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over my dad's computer. 7.....7.....7....7...y pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. it's not the new lexus. it's not the new bmw. it's not the new audi. what it is... is impossible to resist. the new twenty-ten lacrosse from buick. it's the new class of world class. introducing bud light golden wheat. all the drinkability of bud light... brewed with golden wheat for a refreshing new taste bud light golden wheat. light beer. huge flavor. dark, milk, and white chocolate heaven. are we good? eh huh. m&m's premiums... in five fabulous flavors. ♪ >>> well, welcome back. bobcat goldthwait is here tonight. director bobcat goldthwait, who has a very well reviewed new movie called "world's greatest dad". and he brought his star along with him too. and then later on, a duo from brooklyn, new york, who together made this new album called "grand". you can see them at the el rey theater here in l.a. tomorrow night. music from matt & kim. sounds

you heard kylie simon sing carly simon sing it when she said "i haven't got time for the pain."he doctor is here to tell us you don't have to walk around in discomfort. thank you for coming in. >> good to see you. >> let's talk about fibromyalgia. what exactly is it in what does it mean? >> well, fibromyalgia is quite a complex disease but it is characterized by having widespread body pain and specific tender points. it can affect people of all ages, both men and women but the predominant group that is effected is women from ages 35 to 54. it's estimated there's about eight million to 12 million people in america who suffer from this. >> hard to diagnose? probably a lot of people wonder what is wrong with me? then to hear maybe something you've never even heard before? >> it is hard to diagnose because it's a very complex disease. there isn't a specific blood test or one thing that you can do that will say, oh, you have this. but, if you take a careful history and look at all the symptoms and carefully assess the person for the tender points that are known to be characterized fo

so come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hi, my name is kylie, and i found these happy words all over..7....7.... happy words... need happy pictures. i'm going to make a slide show. snappy... (mispronouncing "responsive") and reponcinslive. i'm a pc and more happy is coming. what if we could put an end... to that prickly feeling between shaves? ♪ new dove visiblysmooth anti-perspirant makes hair look and feel less noticeable over te... so you feel stubble-free for longer. (announcer) spit our youstride gum and chew another piece, already! or we'll find you. got the gum. (announcer) the ridiculously long lasting gum ® , new stride ® uber bble ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody, and thanks for watching. i'm here with charlize theron, and she's taking me on in "beer pong." okay, now here's the deal. i have played allhese lovely ladies, and i -- >> oh, wait, i'm not the first? [ laughter ] whoa, whoa, whoa. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. this is going to be -- i'm very excited about this. you have a height advantage on me. betty white is my only win. [ laughter ] i cru

my thing is okay, kourtney, kim, kendall -- and what's the other little sister's name kylie.here's four. and then the black girlfriend from the show. what's her name? never say her name. >> i like her. >> i like her, too! [ laughter ] milika? no, me like-a your highlights! look at that share. do we have that shot? something america doesn't see. you got it? gorgeous. >> thank you, wendy, how you doin'? >> wendy: how you doin'? ? anyw any anyway, the black girl from the shot who tallies receipts, she will probably be one of them. that's fine. i am thinking -- i still can't figure out why they still hang out with adrienne from the cheetah girls because that's robert, their little brother's ex-girlfriend. and, sorry, when somebody becomes an ex, they're out of the family. you know, it's like the mob, you know. you're in when you're in and you're out when you're out. robert, get a backbone. why do you allow these girls -- am i the only one who feels this way? but something tells me that these pushy sisters are going to push the ex-girlfriend of their wimpy brother into this weddin